-THE NEXT MORNING-
Kag: GOD FUCKING DAMNI-*gets cut off and runs to bathroom*
Sango: *sits up and rubs eyes* well I'm gonna take a shower... Wait Kagome are we the only ones awake?
Kag: *gags and groans* Maybe? *groans again*
Sango: *carefully gets out of bed*
Kag: Can I get some water?
Kag: Or a frying pan to knock myself out?
Sango: *whispering* Kagome I have to talk to you
Kag: What is it? And don't say anything that'll make me scream
Sango: well can you promise not to scream?
Kag: I'll try...
Sango: okay... Kagome I have to have an affair with someone
Kag: *tone rises just a bit* What.
Kag: Damnit I need to go release some stress... *goes in bathroom and starts to puke again*
Sango: so that's it? No questions or...?
Kag: Sango, why the bloody fuck do you want a *gags briefly because of breath* affair?
Kagome: *brushing her teeth, glaring at the toilet angrily*
Kagome: You need to get your priories straight
Sango: *grabs her shoulders* *whispering really loudly* Kagome I need to do something! I can't get married! Why the bloody hell would I get married?! Any guy would be lucky to have me, and I allow myself to be swept up by some pervert before even getting the chance to date anyone else?! No way! I have to make some mistakes first.
Kagome: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Inuyasha: *sits up really quickly* WHAT THE HELL KAGOME YOU WOKE ME UP
Miroku: *sits up in bed* Inuyasha could you keep it down?
Kag: FUCK THE BOTH OF YOU SHIT SNORTERS
Sango: well I don't know about you guys but I'm gonna take a shower and then go down to the free hotel breakfast
Miroku: good idea; I'll shower with you so we can get down there faster
Sango: don't even try
Kag: The other shower is mine; you take, I stab
Kag: And I'm NOT kidding
-later at breakfast-
Kag: Ha! For once everything I eat didn't come back up!
Yashie: Good for you... *still upset she woke him up*
Miroku: so what are we gonna do today?
Kag: Tourist shit?
Miroku: but what kind of tourist shit?
Kag: DOES IT MATTER? I THINK NOT!
Waiter: would anyone like a refill?
Sango: I sure would *winks at him awkwardly*
Kag: Shut up Sango
Kag: besides, it's Kirara's job to awkwardly flirt
Waiter: *uncomfortably refills her water*
Miroku: that was flirting?
Kag: Noooo she was practicing for the Olympics!
Miroku: *writes in journal* Kagomes are sarcastic and aggressive when with child
Inuyasha: *falling asleep on the table*
Kag: STOP BEING RUDE
Yashie: *wakes up really fast* I WASN'T BEING BAD MOMMY!
Kag: *twitching* Mommy..?
Sango: *rolls her eyes*
Miroku: Sango are you alright?
Sango: *scoffs* why wouldn't I be?
Kag: Because she's got a stick in her ass like Fluffy
Miroku: *still writing in journal* And incredibly rude to others
Sango: *looks over his shoulder* whatcha writin'?
Miroku: A synopsis on a type of species
Sango: *reads aloud* "Kagomes are sarcastic and aggressive when with child..." *looks at Miroku* Kagome is always sarcastic and aggressive, even when she's not pregnant
Kag: I AM NOT A SINGLE FUCKING SPECIES!
Miroku: *snaps book shut* if you're going to speak ill of my writing, then you're not allowed to read it.
Kag: I'M NOT CRITISIZING IT I'M CORRECTING IT! I'M NOT A DAMN SPECIES OF MY OWN!
Miroku: that's what you think
Kag: THAT'S WHAT THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO THINK!
Inuyasha: *starts snoring*
Kag: *glares* Bastard...
Miroku: *full of excitement* hey guys lets go to the Eiffel Tower!
Kag: Are you setting yourself up to be thrown off it it? Because you won't survive
Miroku: *loses excitement* well what else are we going to do...?
Kag: Go to the Louvre?
Sango: wait you'd rather go to an art museum than the Eiffel Tower?
Kag: Do you WANT your husband thrown off the Tower? Because if he pisses me off enough, I'll do it.
Sango: I'm not complaining I was just surprised
Miroku: I'd rather go to the Louvre anyways!
Kag: Good.
-at the Louvre-
Kag: LOOK AT THESE CREEPY ASS PAINTINGS
Miroku: *twirling around the room* LOOK AT ALL THIS COOL ASS ART
Sango: don't mind him he's just a fuckin weirdo...
Kag: And you married him
Sango: I was drunk alright!?
Miroku: *twirls out of sight*
Kag: Now where is that fucktard goin'?
Sango: who knows...
Sango: hey wait a second; where's Shippo? Wasn't he on this trip?
Kag: How should I know
Sango: I'm sure he's fine...
-in some random dodgy part of Paris-
A small child walks into a strip club: Excuse me have you seen my Mama?
Bar tender: *points to the back*
Shippo: Thank you mister
Shippo: Hey, you're not Kagome...
Random woman: baby I can be whoever you want
Shippo: *suddenly thinking like an adult* I think I'm in the wrong place... *runs out*
-back at the Louvre wherever the hell Miroku is-
Narrator: and now Miroku is singing Disney
Miroku: BE OUR GUEST BE OUR GUEST!
Miroku: *bumps into someone* oh I'm sorry sir
Sketchy Dude: are you sure?
Miroku: y...es...?
Sketchy Dude: *looks away dramatically* that's alright...
Miroku: Now...oh man...I got lost...now I can't find my lovely Sango or her psychotic friends
Sketchy Dude: *looks at him sharply* did you say...Sango?
Miroku: Yes...?
Miroku: Might I ask why you are interested with my lovely Sango?
Sketchy Dude: She sounds...wonderful...
Miroku: She's married
Sketchy Dude: to who?
Miroku: ME
Kagome: I CAN SENSE THE PERV!
Sango: Where?
Kag: TALKING TO SOME DUDE! *runs off past naked guy statue* PERV SENSES DON'T FAIL ME NOW!
Sango: *runs to keep up*
Kag: *runs into Miroku and the Sketchy Dude* AHA!
Sketchy Dude: *to Kagome* are you Sango?
Kag: No I'm her friend who escaped from a mental institution
Sango: I'm Sango...
Sketchy Dude: *twitches and walks away*
Sango: who the hell was that guy?
Kagome: How should I know?
Miroku: I think he must have one of those coral-fetishes
Sango: what?
Miroku: your name means coral
Kagome: no shit Sherlock
Sango: coral-fetish is a thing?!
Miroku: *grabs his journal* Kagomes become increasingly sarcastic
Sketchy Dude: *comes out of nowhere, grabs Miroku's journal, and runs away with it*
Miroku: DUDE!
Kag: Hey...THAT HAS SEMI SENSITIVE INFORMATION ON ME! *runs after him*
Miroku: *sits down against the wall*
Sango: don't you want your journal back?
Miroku: I would prefer not to get involved in the murder which Kagome is about to commit...
Narrator: Half an hour later!
Kag: *returns panting with book in hand, blood on her arms* I got it..back... *panting*
Miroku: I'm not even going to ask...
Kag: Well he's mostly intact...except for his arms...and his memory
Miroku: by the way we lost Yashie and Sango left to get snacks twenty minutes ago and never came back...
Kag: I can find them; both of them.
Miroku: how are you going to do that?
Kag: *comes back fifteen minutes later with Yashie and Sango in her hands*
Miroku: well that took fifteen minutes; you didn't just instantly find them...
Kag: You wanna apply for my job? It's not easy pervert.
Kag: I still can't find Shippo but I'm sure he's fine
Narrator: Somewhere else!
Other Sketchy Dude: Hey kid want some candy?
Shippo: Sure
Other Sketchy Dude: *hands Shippo some powder*
Shippo: *puts the powder on his tongue* This doesn't taste like Smartees...
Shippo: *spits it out*
Other Sketchy Dude: that'll be $2000
Shippo: But I spit it out
Shippo: *runs away: I'M GETTING MY MOMMY!
Other Sketchy Dude: HEY COME BACK! I HAVE A NO-RETURN POLICY!
Shippo: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!
-TBC-