Chapter 47: THIS IS A HOSPITAL
Narrator: THIS IS A HOSPITAL
Yashie: *peers out from his hiding place* Is it safe?
Miroku: *peers out from different hiding place* I don't hear anymore screaming, so...
Sango: *rolls eyes* stop being such wimps
Kagome: *is exhausted and asleep*
Miroku: where's the baby..?
Shippo: right here *points at baby snoozing in the crook of Kagome's arm*
Sango: look at this lil bean!
Shippo: so small...
Miroku: That's what she-
Yashie: *glares at him*
Miroku: ...said
Yashie: *punches Miroku*
Miroku: *sobbing and nurses a big steaming welt on his head*
Sango: *in a sweet baby voice* you're lucky there's a baby in the room or I'd personally cut you into itty bitty pieces
Yashie: *cracks knuckles* Disrespectful monk
Kagome: *suddenly shoots up awake, scaring the bejesus out of Miroku and
Shippo* I am naming this kid Aiko! Aiko Natsume Higurashi!
Kagome: *falls back asleep instantly*
Sango: well there we go. Her name is Aiko.
Yashie: H...Higurashi?
Miroku: It's not like you really have a last name, dude
Miroku: ...do you?
Yashie: Pftttttttttttttttttt...sure I do
Miroku: You DO know what a last name is, right?
Yashie:...of course I do, pervert
Miroku: Well then, great and powerful dog, tell us what a last name is
Yashie: It's the last name you have before you die
Shippo: Even I know that's wrong
Yashie: Hush
Shippo: But you- *gets cut off by veggies being shoved into his mouth*
Sango: I see Yashie has picked up on this whole veggie-shoving punishment thing now too...Miroku, we're not gonna do that to our kids, right?
Miroku: *looks up hopefully* Kids?!
Shippo: *spits out veggies* Uh oh
Sango: *eyes go wide and cheeks go pink* uh...u-uh...shit, did I say that out loud?
Miroku: *off in lala land, too preoccupied to hear her* Kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids
Shippo: You broke him, Aunt Sango
Sango: shit...fuck...damnit...this is Kagome's fault...I hate everything...
Kagome: *groans and shifts slightly, prompting baby Aiko to wake up*
Aiko: *starts crying*
Shippo: Damnit
Shippo: She's so loud! *claps hands over ears*
Sango: *takes Aiko and tries to calm her* shhh...shhhh it's okay...fuck
Aiko: *gurgles out something resembling a baby version of fuck*
Sango: *smilimg fondly* she sounds just like her mother
Miroku: let me try *takes Aiko and calms her down immediately*
Yahie: Get your hands off my daughter you lecher!
Miroku: *raises a hand to yashie's lips* shhhh...she's sleeping again...don't wake her up
Yashie: *bites Miroku's hand*
Yashie: *spits* That tastes like porn and molestation
Miroku: my attention is focused solely on calming your sleeping child, dear halfbreed, and I shall continue to do so. Innocently, I'm afraid I have to add
Yashie: Afraid to add?
Miroku: I wish you thought better of me. I would never harm your daughter
Yashie: *drop kicks Miroku and swiftly takes Aiko before she can fall* She likes her father better than a pervert
Aiko: *still sleeping*
Yashie: *triumphant grin* See?
Miroku: so be it. I'll have my own kids soon enough
Sango: *goes pale but then glares and crosses arms* huh.
Shippo: Gross
Shippo: I meant because half their DNA would come from him. They'd get badass from you, Sango.
Sango: why thank you, Shippo. I'm happy my kids will have you to look up to.
Shippo: *grins*
Miroku: so, uh, do you think Kagome will be...nicer, now that she's not pregnant anymore?
Yashie: Probably. Babies apparently mke women pretty irritable. For us, it made Kagome pretty freaking crazy
Aiko: *makes slight hand movement, smacks her father in the face*
Miroku: Oh yeah, that's Kagome's child alright.
Sango: can I try holding her again?
Yashie: Sure. Don't let her slap you. *blood slowly runs down his cheek*
Yashie: Apparently she has claws. Who knew she'd transform so early
Sango: Something tells me I won't have a problem with that
Miroku: *staring at his wife smiling holding the baby practically with heart eyes*
Yashie: Uhh...Sango? I think you broke the lecher
Sango: *looking at and cradling Aiko* I wouldn't worry about it
Yashie: *shrugs and grabs a wet towel, wiping blood off his face* Whatever.
Yashie: *pauses, takes towel off head; grins devilishly*
Sango: *eyes dart to Yashie*
Shippo: What are you doing, Dad?
Yashie: You'll see
Yashie: *casually throws bloodied towel on Miroku's head* Oops ^_^
Miroku: *doesn't even flinch*
Sango: well this could get interesting...
Yashie: Hey pervert? Sango said she's pregnant. With twins.
Miroku: *heart eyes get bigger; wide grin*
Miroku: *passes out*
Shippo: Uhh, so who's waking him up?
Sango: *smacks Yashie on the shoulder* don't tell him that! I'm surprised he didn't freak out and think I was cheating on him!
Yashie: He thinks you walk on water. Hell, he looks at you like you invented the fucking sun.
Shippo: It's true
Aiko: *starts fussing and arms flail*
Yashie: And that's a common Inu sign. She wants Kagome.
Sango: *shifts Aiko into Kagome's arms and then turns her attention to her unconscious husband*
Kagome: *mumbles something about chocolate and a swinging backyard axe before her eyes open* Hmmm...Wha?
Miroku: *opens eyes, sees that Kagome's awake, and closes eyes again*
Kagome: Why is he covered in blood?
Sango: don't worry about it. How are you feeling?
Kagome: I'm really tired but happy to see this little mess
Yashie: Babe, I think we discovered the cause of your...interesting personality
Kagome: What's that?
Yashie: *points at Aiko* Her. She scratched me when I said something
Kagome: *stares at him blankly* And?
Shippo: *watching while eating popcorn*
Sango: Yashie here thinks your little bundle of joy gets her personality from you
Kagome: Is that so?
Kagome: Should I also tell you all that typically the mother of her pups gets to choose how long before the father can see them? I could make him wait for months, just to see his pup. *gives tired death stare*
Sango: *smiles* well it seems like they've already formed a bond
Kagome: Exactly. You talk bad about my daughter and I will drop you.
Yashie: That's a threat.
Kagome: It's a promise, babe.
Sango: why don't you two just enjoy the life you've created together?
Yashie: She's the one who scratched me.
Kagome: She defended me.
Yashie: *stares silently at Kagome*
Kagome: *stares silently at Inuyasha*
Shippo: It's a good thing we're in a hospital?
Inu and Kag: *stare at eachother for several long seconds then burst out laughing*
Shippo: What
Sango: *smirks* this is how marriage works. You'll find out someday.
Kagome: *slowly looks over to Sango, lips stretch into Cheshire grin* Is that so, dear sister? You are married, yourself
Sango: that I am, and I am familiar with...how things go
Kagome: *raises eyebrow* Really now? *completely casual as she feeds Aiko*
Miroku: *opens eyes* huh. A boob. But...it's not Sango's boob. *closes eyes again*
Kagome: I should have expected that one
Kagome: We should pen him.
Yashie: What?
Kagome: *pulls out three boxes of permanent markers*
Shippo: I WANNA!
Kagome: *hands Shippo a box with a blank face aside from her smirk*
Sango: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH. No one is gonna be drawing on husband's face...except me *extends hand to Shippo for a marker*
Kagome: Why? Why ruin our fun?
Shippo: *pouts and hands her a purple marker*
Sango: don't worry guys, I'll let you help me choose what to write
Kagome: Draw a large cock
Yashie: Draw 'insert penis here' below his mouth
Shippo: What's a cock? And a penis?
Kagome: I'll tell you when you're old enough to reach the top of the fridge without using magic
Shippo: *starts crying* THAT'S NOT FAIR KAGOME YOU KNOW I GROW SLOWLY
Kagome: Yeah well? That's not my fault.
Sango: come on, guys, we can think of something better than that
Kagome: Uhh, 'Property of Sango' written on his forehead
Kagome: Draw his entire fucking hand purple...
Sango: hmmm... *makes it look like there's thick purple liquid spilling from his eyes and writes "property of Sango" on his forehead*
Kagome: Clever
Sango: *twirls marker around in her fingers* what else...
Miroku: *opens eyes* w-what's going on?
Sango: shhhh *kisses him until he passes out again*
Yashie: Effective
Kagome: Now that's using feminine wiles to your advantage
Sango: I've gotten pretty good at it I must say...not that it's difficult with this one. Now *cracks knuckles and pulls Miroku's shirt up* I have to go pee. He's all yours
Kagome: *wicked grin* Thank you. *gets out of bed, holding Aiko in one arm and a marker in her other hand*
Yashie: Uh oh.
Shippo: *covers his eyes*
Sango: *from the doorway* just to be clear, you can draw whatever you want...but if you hurt him physically, I hurt you *spins around and saunters out the door*
Kagome: *halo appears above head* My only objective is to draw embarrasing things on him and upload them to my Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and half demon blog
Sango: *voice heard from the hallway* and stay above the belt, thanks!
Kagome: Like I would touch that! I bet he has migets hiding in his pants. He's probably had herpes before or something...
Panda: ((Migets?
Fire: ((Tiny people
Fire: ((Midgets
Panda: ((Why...why would there be midgets in his pants
Fire: ((He's hiding a gross party in his pants
Shippo: can I have turn?
Kagome: Go ahead
Shippo: *covers Miroku's entire stomach and chest in scribbles, leaving no room for anything else*
Kagome: Great. Now I have to write on his back..
Sango: *returns and plucks the market from Shippo's hand* time's up! How'd he turn out?
Sango: *stares at Miroku's purple body then looks at Kagome* I'm disappointed
Kagome: Shippo scribbled all over his stomach and chest so now we only have his arms, neck, legs and back
Kagome: Well, you have his ass and junk but we're not going anywhere near it
Sango: none of you are going near anything, actually; you had your chance, and now he's mine again
Kagome: Damnit, I didn't get to do anything
Sango: better luck next time *slaps Roku to wake him up*
Miroku: *bolts awake* Whaazaa?!
Kagome: Huh?
Sango: *smirks* Rise and shine, love; you back to normal now?
Miroku: Love?
Kagome: Did he lose his memory?
Sango: no, he's just...waking up *pulls him to his feet by his collar and looks into his eyes*
Miroku: *blinks* hi there
Sango: *smiles* hi there
*the two stare at each other for awhile*
Kagome: You gonna knock him out or kiss him?
Sango: still pondering that one
Kagome: I couldn't really care less, but I need either you or him to get some food. And not this sucky hospital slop.
Sango: why don't you have your husband do that for you?
Kagome: He's busy *points at Yashie holding Aiko with disgusting happy look*
Sango: *sighs and releases Miroku* fine, we'll go on a food run for you. Come on Roku! We're goin' on an adventure!
Miroku: *stumbles to get up and rushes out of the room after her*
Sango: wait, Kagome, what do you want to eat?
Kagome: Whatever fast food place that doesn't suck
Sango: will do! *grabs Miroku's shirt collar and heads out*
Kagome: Thanks!
Fire: ((Is that the first time Kagome has ever thanked someone?
Panda: ((Well damn that's a major fucking milestone...talk about character development...and with that we shall end the chapter!