Chapter 49:I can't get over you
'The present time has one advantage over every other-it is our own.'
-Charles Caleb Colton
(Okay. So I just wanted to let everyone know this story is going to be a gritty cowboy movie, like the Hateful Eight. I love cowboy westerns and Pedro as a queer gay cowboy! I just like writing cowboy Joel.)
Becca didn't know how long they traveled for. It felt like hours, maybe even a day. Sharon promised her she would be going somewhere safe. She promised her that. She trusted the woman with all of her heart. It was the council she didn't trust.
She was blindfolded and her hands were bound. She couldn't see a thing. She could hear the men talking amongst themselves. She frowned when she heard them sharing food between them. She felt her stomach growling. Baby telling her it was hungry.
The nausea was starting to subside as the day went on, but she was starting to become hungry. Maria told her the baby would be making her starving. They didn't offer her any food.
She was cold without a hat and scarf. The coat was still draped around her shoulders. The wind was whipping as ir howled. The snow was falling and searing her skin. The selfish assholes didn't think to cover her up. She wondered if the baby would survive all this stress.
She assumed this was part of the punishment for her crime, making her suffer like this. She was tired of suffering and hurting all the time. She spent the last four years happy, safe, warm, protected and free. She had been free. Now she's going to another prison.
The horse stopped and she wondered if they were at their destination. She took a deep breath as the man roughly yanked her off the horse.
She winced as his meaty fingers dug into her arms. He dragged her into something enclosed and ripped off the blindfold. She looked around and her eyes widened when she saw the tiny hut. It had a small fire wood stove, a sleeping bag and an oil lamp. She frowned as she looked around. If this is where she's supposed to be staying?
'What the hell's going?' She narrowed her eyes,'This isn't what Sharon told me.' She averted her eyes between the masked assholes,'You setting me up?'
Her heart started to pound. She told herself to trust her instincts. She took a few moments of deliberation, remembering what Joel told her. Assess the situation and make a move. They would overpower her if she tried to escape.
They meant to leave her out in the middle of nowhere to starve to death. Sharon would've never been able to reach her. No one would find here. She had been blindfolded the whole time. She didn't know where she was to make it back.
She was stranded and deserted. She and her baby would die out here.
She shook her head as tears filled her eyes,'You can't do this. I'm pregnant.'
She didn't know why she revealed that to these men. She didn't think it mattered to them anyway. She wondered if they meant to rape her. Maybe Bruce was right. All she's good for is spreading her legs for men.
A small part of her hoped Joel would come barging in here and save the day like he did in the barn with Bruce that night. She was kidding herself. He would never venture all this way for her. She was miles and miles away from him. Not even Joel is that good of a tracker.
Would she really want him coming anyway after the damage he's caused? She saw the heartbreak and regret in his eyes. The things he said to her in the jailhouse that night ran through her mind the entire ride. She knew he would've escaped with her if she told him so.
If only their new house was built already. It was on its own land. Jackson didn't have any rights. They could do as they pleased.
She shook her head, ridding it of silly thoughts that'll never happen. She needed to think about the present. The cold harsh reality.
Sharon swore up and down she was headed to a safe place. Did Sharon betray her? She would never do that to her. The woman was like a mother to her. She was at her wedding. She gave her Richards's ring to give to Joel. The one he threw in her face.
She glared up at them and gritted her teeth,'I want a fucking explanation right now.'
The two men looked at each other. They kept their bandanas covering their faces. Did these men kill the real guys who were supposed to take her to a QZ? She didn't think they were bringing her here for a campfire.
The man who she rode with pulled the blindfold over her eyes again. She kneed him in the balls and he backslapped her across the face. She felt her nose bleeding as she fell back against the wall. Luckily, he didn't hit her stomach.
She was probably gonna die, but at least she would go down fighting.
Joel didn't know how long he trailed them for. It was probably well over twelves hours by now. He made sure to keep himself a mile behind them. He brought Becca's best girl Sadie along for the ride. She was lighter on her feet than Dusty, who was rougher on her feet; much like himself.
He thought it fitting to bring Sadie. He was going to bring back Becca. He made up his mind in the barn. He didn't want to die. He wanted to live. He wanted his woman. His wife. His everything.
She would come kicking and screaming, but he was used to that. He made arrangements with Tommy and Maria. They had a safe house hidden away from Jackson. It was a tiny cabin down by Arrowhead Lake where him and Tommy liked to fish.
It would be perfect just for her. She wouldn't be in Jackson. She would be safe and close to the people she cared about. She wouldn't be in a rundown QZ that could barely feed themselves. She could garden and see Ellie.
Maybe he could manage to get into her good graces again. He could woo her, make her dinner and take her on walks. He could make her love him again. He would do it all over again just for her. He was that in love with her. He's reckoned she's the only woman he's ever truly loved.
He would do anything for her. As the wind kicked up, he gently kicked the side of Sadie's side and tugged on her reins. He rode on the saddle Becca got made for him. The inscription ever truer in this moment. No matter the distance.
He rode for her. He would die for her. He killed for her.
Joel tipped the brim of his cowboy hat lower on his head. The scarf he wore around his neck was pulled up over his face, shielding him from the wind and the snow. He narrowed his eyes to see the men leading her to a tiny hut.
His heart sank to his stomach. He didn't feel right about this. He slowly cocked his rifle and patted his chest, making sure he brought enough ammunition. He checked to make sure his weapons were tucked in his coat and fully loaded.
Tommy was surprisingly supportive of this. Maria thought it was a bit extreme, but she understood what he was doing. She respected him for it. He was being a man and admitting he was wrong. He was desperately trying to make amends.
Tommy would do the same for Maria. When Maria and Becca had been abducted he was a raving lunatic, like the Tommy of the old days. He fully understood Joel's reasoning.
He had really great family. One he intended to keep. First things first. He needed to get his wife back. That's if she wanted him. He didn't want to think about that right now. He would deal with her anger later.
He hopped off Sadie and made sure to tie her securely to a tree. He cocked his rifle and made his way to the hut.
He crept behind the hut with his rifle cocked and loaded. He peered into the tiny window. He watched as she demanded for them to tell her what was going on. He smirked to himself. His woman was a spitfire. Her mouth got her into trouble sometimes. It's one of the things he loved most about her. She spoke her mind regardless of the circumstances.
She once told him she never had a taste for liars.
He watched as the man pulled the blindfold over her eyes. She mouthed off to him and he backhanded her. He felt the rage boiling up within him. Enough.
He cocked his rifle and kicked open the door of the hut. He shot both of the men quickly in the head before they could even shoot. Were these supposed to be deputies? They could barely handle a weapon. They were all muscle and no pizazz.
Becca screamed as she heard the gunshots. She winced as she felt the blood splatter onto her face. She was blindfolded. She couldn't see anything.
She trembled in fear as tears filled her eyes. She didn't want to die out here like this. She would die and rot alone. Her and her child.
She could feel the heavy boots clanking against the hardwood floor. The loud creaking made her jump every single time. She was shaking so badly. Her bound arms were sweaty. The blindfold was wet with her tears, sweat and blood. The blood and snot was running from her nose. She was a fucking mess.
Joel's eyes widened as he stared down at her. She was blindfolded and bound on her knees. He saw the blood dripping from her nose and felt anger towards himself. The self loathing ate him alive. He should've believed her from the start.
His beautiful wife didn't deserve this.
'Becca.' He whispered brokenly. He took off his hat and laid it on the floor beside her. He laid down his weapon. He would never aim another gun at her ever again.
This taught him she wed precious to him. She was a rarity in this world. She was one of the good ones. He let his self hatred consume him. He didn't see the forest for the trees. Maria called him ignorant and said the person who framed Becca won. They accomplished separating them.
He fell right into their trap. Hook line and sinker. He brought Ellie into it too. The poor girl felt so guilty for believing it. He had a lot to make amends for. He would do it for her. She was worth it a thousand times over.
She felt his heavy boots clank against her feet. She shook her head as tears blurred her vision,'Please don't kill me. Please. I'll give you anything. My…my…body. Just please don't kill me please.'
Tears filled his eyes as he crouched down in front of her, whispering,'Baby, it's me. Honey girl.'
'Please don't kill me.' She shook her head sobbing as she whispered admittedly,'I'm pregnant. Please.'
Joel's eyes widened as he looked over her for a moment. He felt like the wind was knocked right out of him. He remembered her getting sick in the town hall. Come to think of it, she was sick a few mornings before that. She said it was just a stomach bug, but he remembered when Esther found out she was pregnant.
She would get sick in the mornings too.
Was Becca really pregnant or was she just trying to gain sympathy from someone that she thought wanted to kill her?
He slowly and cautiously pulled the bandana off her eyes. She stared up at him blearily, shaking her head confusingly,'Joel?' She narrowed her eyes,'What the hell are you doing here?'
He snorted and reached behind her to knife through her zip ties. She flexed her fingers for the first time in hours and rubbed her sore wrists.
She looked around at the dead bodies of her escorts on the floor. No doubt Joel's doing. She wondered how he even found them. She was glad he did. She was as good as dead. Or worse. She hated how he kept rescuing her though.
She slowly raised her eyes to look up at him,'How did you find me?' She sighed,'Where the hell did you come from?'
Joel reached into his knapsack and took out a handkerchief and some rubbing alcohol. He dabbed it on her nose, making her wince,'I been trailing since Arrowhead about a mile back.' He sighed,'I knew once we went past waypoint of the QZ that they weren't planning on taking ya there.'
She nodded as she averted her eyes downward, refusing to look at him. He didn't mention what she said. Did he even hear it? Would he bring up the elephant in the room?
'You think Sharon set me up?' She frowned,'She's ex Firefly.'
He shrugged as he kept his eyes focused on her face. He couldn't stop staring at her. He didn't think he would see her again. It took him almost two days of riding before he caught up with them. He never thought he would find them, but he did. He was exhausted and travel worn, but he made it to his girl.
'Seems possible.' He shook his head,'I don't trust anyone to be honest.'
She snorted and leaned back against the wall,'I'm well aware. Believe me.'
He winced at her words as he crouched down in front of her, his dark features accentuated by the oil lamp. He studied her carefully, his eyes boring deep into hers,'Are ya pregnant, Becca?'
Her eyes widened at his question. Caught. She always knew this moment would happen sooner or later. She thought she had it better planned in her head. She didn't expect Joel to come riding in like a bat out of hell.
She could lie, but she knew it would only complicate things. This is the first lie she's ever told him. She didn't necessarily lie. She omitted the truth.
It sounded better in her head.
She slowly raised her eyes up to look at him and nodded, whispering,'Yes.' She cleared her throat, speaking more firmly,'Sharon thinks I'm around three months pregnant.'
He bit back a smirk. That could've been any numerous times. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. They had been so touched starved. Love starved. Becca used to tell him she's felt like she's waited all her life just to touch him. She always found ways to touch him.
She would smile up at him. She made him feel so damned special, like he was somebody.
Becca saw mixed emotions on his face. Joy, excitement, nervousness, surprise and anger. He seemed angry.
He shook his head as tears filled his eyes,'You we're gonna fuckin leave and just not tell me?' He cringed at the desperation in his tone,'I deserve to know my kid.'
Her eyes widened incredulously as she shook her head in disbelief,'After everything you put me through? Who gives you the right to think you have agency over my body? You don't deserve to know our baby.'
A small smile lit up his face as his eyes managed to reach hers,'You said ours.'
The moment was fleeting as she schooled her features, whispering,'You did enough damage, Joel.'
As he sat there staring at his beautiful pregnant wife on the floor, all of his anger dissipated. He didn't care about the reasons why she kept it from him. He understood her fear.
His eyes widened in realization as he shook his head in disbelief,'That day I found…when I…' He took a deep breath,'You were gonna tell me that day weren't ya?'
She gritted her teeth to keep from crying and slowly nodded her head, whispering,'Yes.'
His face crumpled into tears. He gingerly cupped the back of her head, whispering,'Oh my sweetheart.' He gentle brought her head to his chest,'I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. A baby.' He closed his eyes as tears fell down his cheeks,'You're gonna be such a good mama. You're already one to Ellie.'
She closed her eyes and sighed shakily, whispering,'Don't pretend like nothings changed, Joel. A baby doesn't solve the issues between us. Our communication still sucks and you have anger management problems. You have trust issues. ME of all people are saying that to you.'
He let her words sink in a moment. The love of his life was carrying his child. His flesh and blood. This should be the proudest moment of a man's life, but it was bittersweet. The woman he loved wanted nothing to do with him. How would he help raise his child? Would she even him in their life?
'I won't deny you your right to see your child.' She frowned,'If it should even come to that point.'
His eyes widened and he shook his head,'Don't say shit like that. You're gonna be fine. The baby's gonna be fine.' He gave her a determined stare,'These men ain't from Jackson.' He sighed,'Tommy's boys found the dead deputies buried in a shallow grave.'
Becca's eyes widened as she averted her eyes between the dead men,'Are there more of them?'
'Probably.' He shrugged,'More than likely. They want Ellie. They ain't gonna get her. They sure as hell ain't gonna get ya too.'
She closed her eyes and swallowed harshly, whispering admittedly,'I'm…immune, Joel.' She shook her head,'I got bit a few years back and I've never been infected. If Sharon…' She shook her head as tears fell from her eyes,'I never told anyone. Just you. Right now. I don't know why I wasn't infected, but if someone found out somehow.'
He pulled her into his arms and wrapped them around her tightly, whispering fiercely,'Ain't no one coming after ya without getting through me first.' He took a deep breath,'We don't speak about this to no one. If they found out you're pregnant.'
'They'll want me and the baby for a cure.' She nodded,'I already thought about that.'
Their anger and unresolved issues were set aside for the moment. They needed to come up with a solution. Self preservation for themselves and their children.
Joel placed his hand on her shoulder and nodded,'Tommy has a fishing cabin down by Arrowhead Lake. Me and him stay there sometimes. It got a wood stove, fireplace and an old bathtub.' He averted his eyes downward,'I know ya like baths. There's a mattress to sleep. You'd be comfortable there. Jackson wouldn't need to know. Tommy and Maria want you to stay there. I'm gonna add it to our patrols.' He nodded,'I'll be there to look after ya on night patrols.'
She rolled her eyes. Great. Joel was playing babysitting duty now. What is it with him needing to be everyone's father?
'I can't.' She shook her head,'The council will find out and send me to a QZ.'
Joel sighed and couldn't resist the urge to look down at her still flat stomach. He imagined what it would look like swelling with a child growing inside her. Her body would start to change. Her tits would get bigger.
He was a selfish prick.
He raised his eyes up to look over her face,'I'm going to the council. I'm gonna try to figure out who framed you.'
She crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips,'You could've done this before you pulled a gun on me.'
'I'm real sorry about that, honey.' He frowned,'You…to think you were pregnant when I…' He shook his head as fresh tears filled his eyes,'You should hate me.'
'Hate is a strong word.' She nodded,'I strongly dislike you right now though.'
She closed her eyes and sighed. She was too exhausted to have that conversation with him right now.
'Where do I go?' She shook her head,'I just go back to that cabin and hide out while everyone figures out what's going on? This is bullshit. Whoever's framing me knows that I'm…' She sighed,'They're using me to get to Ellie. They're drawing her out.'
He turned his back as he stoked the small fireplace. He didn't seem like much for conversation tonight. She was somewhat thankful for that.
She understood he was angry with her for not telling him she was pregnant. She had her reasons for being angry at him too. They had a lot to work through, but they needed each other. Whether they wanted to admit it or not.
Joel glanced back at her over his shoulder,'We'll break at sun rise. It's gonna be dark soon and the snow will make it hard to see.' He nodded down at the bodies,'I'll take them outside for the animals.'
She nodded silently as he slid each man out by the arms one by one. It wasn't the first time she's witnessed him slinging dead bodies around. It certainly wouldn't be the last.
He brought Sadie closer to the hut, keeping her secured tightly in a shed to keep her warm.
He closed the door behind him, making sure it was secured tight. He looked over at Becca, seeing her huddled by the fireplace with a dingy coat wrapped around her. He took off his heavy coat and wrapped it around her shoulders.
She was staring into the fire blankly. She didn't have any emotion on her face. He carefully placed a hand on her back, whispering,'You okay, baby?'
'Just like old times, huh?' She smiled wryly,'Running like fugitives again.' She tapped her stomach, a sad look on her face,'More cargo.'
'Fuck that.' He shook his head, a stray curl falling over his eyes. He placed his hand on her stomach and choked back a sob,'If I woulda known. I wouldn't have ever…' He sighed,'This is our baby, honey girl. This is what we've talked about.'
'Everything's different, Joel.' She averted her eyes to his hand on her belly,'I'll let you be apart of this…process with me. You can absolutely be apart of the baby's life.' She shook her head,'I don't know if I can…if I can forget everything you said and did right now. It wouldn't be fair to me.
He nodded and swallowed harshly, taking his hand off her stomach,'I can respect that. I'm just glad ya wanna let me see my baby. I really wanna see my baby, Becca. I…I wanna experience that again. With you. In any way I can.' He shrugged, making sure to keep his cool,'I'll be your friend if that's what ya want.' He met her gaze, whispering heatedly,'Just know that's not what I want. I'll always want more. Always.'
She nodded silently as she turned back to look at the fire. There was nothing more to say tonight. Come morning, she would be heading to Arrow Lake. Hopefully they would find out the person behind all this.
Now that the truth is out there it's only a matter of time before all hell breaks loose. It always gets worse before it gets better.