Chapter 51: Wake me up when it's over
'I try my best to turn down the noise. And I tell myself that boys will be boys.'
-Chvrches, Over
Becca was awoken by the overwhelming feeling of nausea. She sprung up out of bed and ran over to the toilet, retching into it. She winced slightly as she rested her head on her arm. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to will the feeling away, but nothing would help. She would just have to let it run its course.
She hated having morning sickness, but she knew it would be something she would have to get through. There's nothing that can be done about it. Hopefully, after the first trimester it'll subside. Hopefully. She knew some women were sick their entire pregnancy. She couldn't afford that right now. Not when they had things to take care of.
Joel was awoken by the sounds of her vomiting. He sighed and rolled over onto his side. He frowned when he saw her hunched over the toilet. He got up out of the sleeping bag and slowly shuffled over to her, scratching his head.
He crouched down behind her and cautiously placed his hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly,'You okay?'
'I will be.' She sighed softly,'Baby is kicking my ass. I think your child wants to kill me.'
He smirked as he ran his hand up and down her back,'My mama said she was really sick with me and Tommy. Come to think of it, Esther said that too.' He frowned, whispering,'And Tess.'
'Millers like to give a girl a hard time, huh?' She glanced back at him, smiling wryly,'You should've warned me.'
He laughed and shook his head,'Where's the fun in that?'
He frowned as she started vomiting again. He gently gripped her long hair in his fist, holding it back as she got sick. He couldn't lie. He felt a satisfaction in knowing she wanted their child to be a Miller. It was a question that weighed heavily on his mind.
It made him proud, knowing she wanted their baby to have his name. Maybe all hope isn't lost. Maybe he didn't fuck up completely. He could still salvage their relationship.
He continued to rub her back with his other hand as she dry heaved into the toilet. He couldn't resist resting his head against the back of her neck. He could feel her cold and clammy skin. He hated it, knowing there wasn't anything he could to make it better.
She shouldn't be pregnant and sick hiding away in a cabin like some criminal. She should safe at their ranch getting ready for their baby. He was determined to make it right. In a week, she would be back home where she belonged. At least he hoped so anyway.
She leaned back away from the toilet and he reached over her to flush it. He was surprised when she leaned her back against his chest. He kept his hands at his sides. He was hesitant to touch her. He didn't want to get punched in the mouth again.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, whispering,'Maria thinks it's a boy because I'm so sick.'
'I wouldn't be surprised.' He smiled softly,'Millers are known for making boys. Sarah was the first girl born into the family for awhile.' He shook his head,'We always used to joke that's why she was a tomboy.'
'As long as the baby's healthy.' She looked up at him,'It's all that matters.' A small smile formed on her face,'I wouldn't mind a little girl though.'
'I wouldn't either.' He looked over her face as his hand hovered over her face,'She'd be as beautiful as her mama.' He shook his head in disbelief,'So fuckin beautiful. Can't take my eyes off her.'
Her eyes widened at his words. He said it with so much sincerity. It brought tears to her eyes. She didn't know if it was her overactive hormones or just him. Maybe it was a little bit of both.
She closed her eyes as she laid her head back against his chest, whispering,'You still gonna be saying that a few months from now when I won't be able to climb on a horse?'
'Yes.' He laughed and shook his head,'I'll lift you on the horse.' He placed his lips on the crown of her head and kissed her there, whispering,'I'll carry ya around my damned self.' He chewed nervously on his bottom lip and slowly, but cautiously placed his hands on her arms. He looked up to gage her reaction, whispering,'This okay?'
'Yes.' She trembled as his calloused fingers ran up and down her bare arms, fleshing goosebumps upon her skin. She closed her eyes and reveled in his touch. It wasn't overtly sexual, but comforting and soothing.
He kissed her temple and let his lips linger. Her skin was cold and clammy to the touch, but he knew she wasn't sick. Not really anyway. Her sickness meant their baby was thriving and feeding off her. He would have to make sure she ate and took care of herself. He refused to lose anyone else.
She focused on his hands caressing her arms. He ran the back of his hands up and down her arms as he pressed kisses to the side of her head. She leaned back into his touch.
It was easy to allow herself this moment of weakness. It was the early morning and just the two of them. No one would need to know. They were allowed this.
He splayed his large hand over her still flat stomach. He pressed kisses along the back of neck as he gently rubbed her stomach in soothing circles. She knew she should tell him to stop, but she couldn't seem to find the words. She still loved him so much and his tender touches felt so good. She was craving this. Her body needed to be comforted. His body seemed to need it to.
This wasn't about sex or any of the bullshit that tried to come between them. It was two people who created a life together sharing joy. Not everything had to be a fight. She was so tired of fighting.
'I can't wait to see ya growing with my baby inside ya, honey girl.'He sighed softly as he slowly pulled her closer against his chest,'It's all I can think about when I look at ya. Do ya know what it does to me knowing you're having my baby? The most beautiful girl in the world is having my baby.' He growled softly, whispering heatedly into her ear,'I love you so fuckin much.' His breath was hot and heavy against her ear, making her shiver,'It makes me love ya even more. I didn't think that was possible.'
Her body was betraying her as his hand caressed her stomach. His eyes widened as he felt the fluttering in her stomach.
He leaned back as he shook his head n disbelief,'Is that?'
'Quickening.' She nodded and smiled softly, placing her hand over his,'It usually happens around sixteen weeks. I've been feeling it the last couple days.'
He kissed her forehead as he nuzzled into her skin,'You should eat something. Baby's hungry.'
She looked over his face and smirked,'You seem to know my body better than I do.'
'Damn right I do.' His eyes held hers as he nodded firmly,'You know mine too. We know each other.' He let his eyes openly rove over her,'I'll wait however long it takes for you. For the rest of our fuckin lives.'
She placed her hand on his cheek and smiled softly,'I don't think you'll have to wait that long.' She felt her stomach grumble and frowned,'I would like to eat though.'
He helped her up from the floor as he held tightly onto her hand. He didn't let her hand go as he walked with her over to the kitchen table. He waited until she sat down before he got her muffin and tea ready.
He placed the muffin in front of her and she started devouring it. He smiled as he watched her eat. She had an appetite. It was only going to get worse the further along in her pregnancy she got.
He sat across from her as he drank his coffee. He silently watched her, smiling to himself. He imagined her belly getting bigger as the weeks went on. He wasn't lying when he said she would be beautiful. She's become even more beautiful to him. He didn't think that was possible, but it did.
It was true when they said pregnant women had a glow. She radiated so much warmth. She always did; even before her pregnancy, but it was different. It was everything. She seemed happy to be carrying his child.
She finished her muffin and he grinned as she wiped her mouth with a napkin,'Betsy's muffins are good, huh? I'll bring some more.'
'Thank you.' She shrugged sheepishly,'It seems like the only thing I can keep down anymore.' She frowned as she propped her head on her hand,'I've been starving lately.'
'It's only gonna get worse.' He snorted,'I'll make sure to have muffins on hand.' He shook his head,'Last thing I wanna hear is a pregnant woman's wrath while snowed in a cabin.'
She looked up from her tea cup and smirked,'It's only a week. You've put up with me for longer in far worse circumstances.'
'I have.' He nodded as his eyes bore into hers,'I ain't gonna stop anytime soon neither.'
'I wouldn't expect you to.' She sighed and placed her cup down on the table,'When am I gonna see Sharon? I need to see a doctor and make sure everything's alright.'
He got up from the table and walked over to the window, staring out of it,'The snow seemed to stop. I don't know if Sadie girl can make the walk though.'
She rolled her eyes up at him and shook her head,'My girl was built for snow. She got me through Colorado winters just fine.'
He nervously scratched the back of his neck as he looked over at her warily,'She couldn't walk through it the other night.' He took a deep breath to gather his courage, whispering,'She's getting older, Bec. I don't know if…she's gonna make it long distances anymore. She…'
He shook his head silently. He didn't want to tell her about last night when he went to go check on her. He didn't want to be the one to tell her.
'What?' She stood up from the kitchen table as she saw the trepidation on his face. She walked closer to him as her heart started pounding. She was starting to become frantic with worry,'What's the matter with Sadie, Joel? Tell me.'
His jaw ticked as he bowed his head, sighing deeply,'She…must've broken her ankle without me realizing,'She was limping but I thought she was just tired. I went to check on her last night before we went to bed. She was laying on her side and was…in a lot of stress, Becca.'He shook his head,'It ain't gonna heal, baby. Not that kinda break. She's older and…'
He didn't even have to finish she sentence for she already knew what he was going to say. Tears filled her eyes as she nodded silently.
She went over to the door and picked up her boots. She put them on and tied the laces tightly.
She was putting on her coat when Joel walked over to her. He looked over her and shook his head,'What are you doing?'
'I'm going to be with her.' She put on her gloves and wrapped her scarf around her neck,'I've raised her since she was a baby. It's gotta be me.' She bent down and picked up the rifle propped up against the wall,'I gotta be the one.'
His eyes widened in understanding as he slowly nodded his head. He wouldn't dare take this away from her. He wouldn't let her do it alone though.
He put on his coat and gloves, following her outside and to the shed. He unlocked the door and pulled it open.
Her heart sank to her stomach when she saw her laying on her side. Joel wrapped her up in a couple blankets, making sure she was warm.
She was whimpering as in pain as Becca kneeled down beside her. She ran her hand down her side as tears fell down her cheeks,'It's okay, my girl.' She shushed hee as she neighed loudly,'It's gonna be okay.'
Joel watched helplessly as Becca cried over her. He didn't want to see his woman in pain anymore. She's been through enough.
He understood her need to do this though. This was her right. He would do it if she asked. He would do anything for her.
Becca leaned down and kissed her head as she stroked her nose. She remembered when she first found her and her sister.
'They were foals when I first found them.' She smiled tearfully,'Her and Dusty. I found them by their mama.' She shook her head,'Someone shot her dead. I…raised them. I loved them.' She sighed shakily as she slowly ran her hand down her smooth fur,'You'll get to see your mama again, baby girl.'
She slowly pulled herself up from the ground. She took a deep breath and cocked the rifle. She managed to keep her hands steady as she pressed the barrel against the back of her head. She sobbed softly as she pulled the trigger. She dug her boots into the dirt to keep from stumbling backwards. She felt the trajectory of the bullet as it pierced her skull.
She watched Sadie's head fall back as the light left her eyes. She saw the pool of blood at the back of her head getting bigger and bigger.
'I'm sorry.' She whispered brokenly,'I'm so sorry.'
Joel sighed as he stepped up behind her. He gently took the rifle from her hands and placed it on the ground.
He placed his hands on her arms and slowly pulled her away from Sadie's lifeless carcass,'Come on. Let's get ya inside. I'll take care of her.'
She shook her head as she cried, but he kept his arms around her as he led her back into the house. He brought her over to the bed and set her down on the edge of it.
He bent down and kissed the top of her head, whispering,'I'll make sure she's taken good care of, baby girl. Sit tight.'
She had her face covered with her hands as she sobbed into them. He frowned as he sighed to himself and walked back to the shed.
He stared at Sadie's lifeless body and shook his head,'I don't know what I'm gonna tell your sister. She ain't gonna forgive me for this one. Seems like all I do is make fuckin women mad or dead.' He snorted,'Animals or otherwise.'
He grabbed her hooves as he slid her out of the shed. He hoped to God this would be the last body he would have to bury. Something told him it wouldn't be his last.
He was covered in mud and dirt when he walked back into the cabin. She was in the kitchen making something. He was surprised that she was up and walking. He expected her to still be in hysterics.
She looked up at him as she stood at the stove. He took off his gloves and placed them in his coat pocket,'It's done.' He cleared his throat,'I buried her near the lake cause she always liked the water.' He shrugged,'I figure you could come back here and visit her.'
She nodded as she wiped the tears from her eyes,'Thank you for that.' She shook her head sadly,'I'm really gonna miss her, Joel. I loved that horse so much.'
'I know ya did. I know.' He walked over to her and placed his hand on her back,'I loved her too. You know that.' He frowned,'Seems all I keep doing is taking things from ya.'
'It wasn't your fault.' She sighed,'You couldn't have predicted something like that. She was older. I always knew if something should happen to her it…it would be the end.' She shrugged,'I think I'm getting used to this.'
'What?'
'The pain.' She pursed her lips as he squeezed her shoulder,'I want this to stop. This has to stop. When's it gonna be enough? When will it stop?'
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back against his chest, kissing the side of her head,'I don't know. I wish I knew. I don't want ya to hurt anymore either. You should feel good. Happy.'
'You should feel good too.' She closed her eyes,'Everyone deserves to be happy.'
He hummed softly as he kissed the back of her head,'I'm already happy. Just being like this with ya makes me happy. You letting me touch ya like this. It's…everything I could ask for.' He placed his hand protectively over her stomach, whispering,'I'm sorry about Sadie.'
'I know you are.' She nodded,'Thank you for doing that for me. For her.'
'Don't gotta thank me, baby. It's my job.'
She wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but decided against it. She already knew the answer. She wasn't ready to hear it yet anyway. She didn't think either one of them were ready to have that conversation right now.
He nodded towards the food on the stove,'What's all this?'
'I figured since you've been making sure I eat that I feed you too.' She shrugged,'I found some stuff. I figured you were getting tired of muffins and stew.'
He saw the fish in the pan, the vegetables and potatoes. He stomach started growling. He couldn't remember the lash time he really ate. Not something that was fuel to keep him going. Real down home cooking.
He missed Becca's cooking. While he was a decent cook and could make the things he knew; she cooked with love. She took pride in her cooking. He missed helping her in the kitchen and doing the dishes while she helped Ellie with her homework. He missed everything about her.
He stroked her back as he stepped back from her,'You ain't gotta cook for me.'
'Someone's gotta do it while you're cleaning yourself up.' She scrunched her nose and jerked her head towards the tub,'I took the liberty of filling you a bath. Wash up before dinner.'
'Yes, maim.' He started unbuttoning his flannel as he glanced back at her,'You sure you're okay?'
'Not yet.' She kept her back facing him as she stirred something in a pot,'I will be though.'
He didn't press her anymore. He knew when she was done talking about something. He knew her better than he knew himself. How the hell could he ever think that she would betray him? She should've shot him dead like Sadie. He should buried right along with her for even thinking that.
He undressed and slowly eased himself into the water. He sighed as he sunk fully into the water, letting the hot water soothe his aching and tired bones.
He laid his head back against the tub and closed his eyes, whispering,'I'm getting old, baby girl. I hope I can keep up with a kid.'
'Oh please.' She laughed and shook her head,'You have more energy than Ellie does sometimes. You're not old. You're-'
'Vintage.' He finished for her and smirked,'I know. I know.'
She turned to look at him, seeing him lounging in the bathtub. One of his legs was propped up on the tub. He ran his wet hands through his hair, slicking it back as he closed his eyes and sighed softly.
She found herself just staring at him. She felt the burning in the pit of her belly. The desire for him simmering and burning brighter the longer she was around him.
She could tell herself it was lust. Her hormones were going haywire and stirring all these emotions inside of her, but she knew it was so much more than that. It was him.
He was trying to make amends for what he did to her. She appreciated it. She understood he was sorry for what he's done. She was making peace with it. She would forgive him. She just needed to learn to trust him again. He came back though. He didn't abandon her again. He was putting in the effort, which is more than what David or Ben would've done.
She glared at him as she saw the dirty clothes on the floor by the tub. She shook her head as she walked over and bent down to pick up his dirty clothes,'I told you I'm not your mama. You're a grown man. I shouldn't be cleaning up after you.'
Her tone was light as she rolled her eyes at him. He laughed as he grabbed the end of her sweater, gently tugging her closer to the tub,'You're someone's mama.' He smirked as he leaned up in the tub to tickle her sides, making her laugh.
He felt a flush of warmth run through him at her laugh. He hasn't heard her laugh in a long time. For a brief moment, he wanted to make her forget about the outside world and all the bullshit slung their way.
She tried to push his hands away as he continued to tickle her sides. She was laughing hysterically as she found herself stumbling over the tub. Her eyes widened and she gasped as she fell into the tub.
He wrapped her in his arms to catch her fall as she fell down onto his chest, her entire body sinking into the water as it splashed onto the floor. She started hiccuping as she laughed. He held onto her tightly as she caught her breath.
She swallowed harshly as she gulped for air. A serious look came upon her face as she stared at her. He wasn't laughing. She felt scrutinized under his intense stare.
He looked over her face as a grin slowly spread across his face,'We made a mess.'
'You made a mess.' She shook her head as she placed her hands against his chest, whispering,'You got me all wet.'
His eyes lowered down to her chest. Her wet sweater cling to her skin. She wasn't wearing a bra. He could see the outline of her nipples through the thin material. He couldn't hide his erection that was bobbing in the water. He knew she felt it pressed up against her leg. It wasn't as if he could hide it.
'Sorry.' He moved his hips to the side so she wouldn't feel it anymore,'You can't say things like to me and not expect me to…'
He shook his head. He didn't want to say anything to make her feel uncomfortable. She was going through a lot. She was vulnerable. She just shot her horse who was like a child to her. He shouldn't be taking advantage of her, but the way she was looking at him. She wanted him too. He wasn't just imagining things.
'I feel it too.' She swallowed the lump in her throat as she placed her hand on his bearded cheek,'Of course I feel it.'
He took a deep breath as he rested his forehead against hers,'If you don't want me to kiss ya then ya need to get up.' He licked his lips as his eyes roved all over her,'Cause I'm about ten seconds away from tasting ya and I ain't gonna be able to stop.'
She saw the fire in his eyes and knew he wasn't joking around. She knew when he meant business. She knew if she stayed put he would make do on his promise. He was a man who followed through with his words.
The timer beeped and she sighed softly. Her saving grace. She pulled herself up from his chest and climbed out of the tub, tracking water on the floor.
She placed her hands on her hips and stared down at the puddle of water on the floor,'We really did make a mess.'
He lolled his head on the back of the tub as he stared up at her,'We have a habit of doing that don't we?' His eyes trailed down her backside. Her pants were clinging to her like a second skin. He bit his bottom lip as his eyes traced the curve of her ass,'I have a habit of making ya wet too.'
Her cheeks burned at his words as she peeled her wet sweater off and threw it onto the floor along with his clothes. His eyes widened as he saw her bare back. She walked over to her bag and bent down. He groaned softly when he saw her tits jiggling as she moved.
She didn't seem ashamed or embarrassed of being naked in front of him. It was natural to her as she pulled down her pants and got dressed.
He closed his eyes and laid his head back against the tub again. He almost kissed her. He almost had her. He didn't know how they were going to do this for the next five days being alone together.
It was different before they had each other. They knew what they were missing now. He stared up at the ceiling and said a prayer for himself. He was going to need it.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Joel and Becca had another rough morning. She had woken up first thing in the morning, throwing up and feeling dizzy. He held her hair back and stayed up with her. He knew she needed to be seen by a doctor to make sure everything was alright with her and the baby.
They didn't have a way back into town. They wouldn't be able to walk back. It was too far. Neither one of them would make it.
Becca was laying in bed while Joel sat in front of the radio. He needed to reach Tommy. She needed medicine for her nausea or she would become dehydrated.
Luckily, he managed to get a hold of Tommy and explained the situation. His brother was on board and promised to be there within a few hours with a doctor and some medicine.
He wasn't too keen on Sharon coming out here, but it was the best he could do. He didn't want her to suffer anymore. Not when she could be helped. He didn't trust Sharon, but she would help her. He knew that at least.
He walked over to her bed and sat down next to her. He placed a wet rag on her head and rubbed her stomach,'I got ahold of Tommy. He's coming in a few hours with Sharon to take a look at ya.'
She nodded slightly as she closed her eyes,'You think we can trust her coming here?'
'We don't got a lotta options.' He shrugged,'It's the risk we gotta take, darlin. I know she's gonna wanna make sure you're kept alive. Regardless who she's working for. They're gonna want ya alive.' His eyes searched her face,'You doing alright?'
'Yeah.' She sighed,'Your kid is kicking my ass.' She looked up at him blearily, a slight grin on her face,'You Miller boys really take a toll on women.'
He leaned over her as he placed his arms alongside of her, caging her in,'So ya do think it's a boy.'
'There's a fifty fifty chance.' She winced slightly as another wave of nausea hit her,'It could be twins.'
'Don't say that.' His eyes widened,'Jesus, could ya imagine there being two of us at the same time?'
She groaned softly as she tightly clenched her eyes shut,'Oh God.'
'What?' His eyes darted all over her in concern,'What's wrong?'
'I was just thinking about raising two of you and I think I left my body for a second.' She shook her head and sighed,'I can barely handle you.'
He smirked as he leaned in closer to her, whispering,'I think you handle me mighty fine.'
She gripped the collar of his flannel and pulled him down to lay next to her. She surprised him by taking his arm and draping it across her midsection. He pressed his head against her shoulder as she gripped his arm tightly.
He looked up at her as he shook his head in disbelief,'Not that I'm complaining, but what's this all about?'
She turned her head to look at him. His head was so close to hers. She ran her hand down the side of his face, whispering,'Cause I'm scared and I want you close. I'm really scared, Joel.'
He frowned as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her close to him. He rested his chin on top of her head and sighed,'I'm scared too, baby. But we'll be scared together. Okay?'
'Okay.' She whispered as she laid her head on his chest.
They weren't there yet, but they were close to it. They could let go of their anger. If only for a little while.
Neither had it in them to be angry at each other anymore. They were stronger together than apart. They always known that. It just took them longer to realize it.
As promised, Tommy arrived a few hours later. Joel was standing in the doorway of the cabin as Tommy and Sharon got off their horses. He crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at the doctor. It took everything in him not to strangle the woman, but he would digress for Becca's sake.
He still wasn't certain she didn't set her up. He was distrusting of everyone at this point. It could've been anybody after them. Everyone was a suspect in his eyes.
Tommy kept a close eye on Sharon as he followed her up to the cabin.
Tommy hugged his brother, whispering in his ear,'I'm sorry about Sadie. How is she?'
He looked at Sharon warily,'She's doing okay. She's been sick lately. The mornings are really bad.'
Sharon overheard the conversation and sighed, shaking her head,'She's pregnant and has morning sickness. It's gonna be bad for awhile.' She looked over Joel,'You need a shave and a haircut.' She snorted,'At least you bathed for the girl.'
Joel forced a tight smile on his face as he curtly nodded at her,'Nice to see you too, Sharon.'
He sighed as he walked into the cabin with Tommy and Sharon following behind him. He closed and locked the door behind them. He didn't want to take any chances.
Sharon walked over to Becca's bedside and sat down next to her,'How are you doing, dear?'
She looked up at Joel and Tommy, who were standing at the end of her bed,'I feel like shit. I can't stop throwing up in the morning. It wakes me up.'
She averted her eyes away from Tommy. She hasn't seen him since she left Jackson. Joel told her he was on their side, but she still felt embarrassed. He had been there when Joel found out. He witnessed everything.
She was also a little leery of Sharon. While she loved the woman; she still wasn't convinced she didn't set her up. How could she not know what was going to happen to her? She was on the council. She was one of the Elders. She knew everything that went on in Jackson. She knew too much about them too. A mistake she wasn't willing to make again.
'I'm sure it does.' Sharon took her supplies out of her bag,'With some pregnancies in first time mothers nausea can last all the way up to the third trimester.'
'Great.' Becca rolled her eyes,'I mine as well just carry around a bucket.'
Sharon smirked as she listened to her stomach,'The nausea is just letting you know the baby is fine. You're experiencing quickening?'
She looked up at Joel and met his gaze. He was staring at them intently, making sure Sharon did her job,'Yeah. I feel the fluttering all the time.'
'I felt it this morning.' Joel piped up and cleared his throat as everyone stared at him. He shrugged sheepishly,'Just letting ya know.'
Tommy looked up at his brother and smirked. He wondered if being alone in this cabin was stirring up feelings again. Maria said being alone would do them some good. They could work out their issues before the council meeting and sort out their differences before the baby came. He thought they would kill each other.
The tender way they stared at each other told him his wife was right again. He hated to go back and tell her that. She had a big enough head as it is.
Tommy was sitting at the kitchen table as Joel placed a cup of coffee in front of him. They were in close proximity of Sharon and Becca. He would be able to see and hear everything as the two women talked. Sharon was asking her how she was feeling and giving her some medicine for her nausea.
Joel sighed as he nodded over at them, whispering,'Ya think we can trust her?'
Tommy looked over at them and sighed,'I honestly don't know. She didn't say anything on the way here. She didn't ask any questions.'
He nodded as he folded his arms on the table, leaning close to him,'You keeping tabs on her?'
'Got my guys trailing her day and night.' He shook his head,'Nothing out of the ordinary. Except, I haven't seen those kids in awhile.'
His eyes widened in realization,'The kids we got from the base? How long has it been?'
Tommy sighed as he took a sip of his coffee,'About a few days now. Sharon said they're under the weather, but Ellie said she hasn't seen the boy either.'
Joel frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest, staring over at the doctor. He didn't like this. Not one bit. This used to be a woman they could trust. She was at their wedding. She treated Becca as if she were her own. Is anything sacred left in this world?
Tommy looked over his brother's face and frowned,'What are you thinking?'
'You don't wanna know what I'm thinking.' He jerked his head towards Sharon,'You make sure she doesn't bring anyone to our door. I'll kill anyone who tries to hurt her. Anyone. Even you.'
'I don't doubt that.' Tommy shook his head,'I take it things are going well between you two?'
'It's going.' He nodded,'Slowly but surely. I think we're gonna be okay. She still loves me. I know she does. I haven't completely fucked that up.'
Tommy placed his hand on his arm and smiled softly,'I never doubted that. Maria told me you better not fuck it up again or she'll shoot you dead.'
He snorted and shook his head,'I would let her.' He looked over at Becca, whispering,'I ain't ever letting her go again.'
Sharon placed her supplies in her bag and put the bottle of prenatal vitamins on the nightstand,'You should be feeling better pretty soon.'
She closed her eyes and gave her a small smile,'Thank you.'
Sharon looked over her face, seeing the bruises on her cheek and the cut on her upper lip and nose,'You would tell me if he was hurting you right? Are you afraid of him? Is he keeping you here against your will? I can get you out of here. You don't have to be afraid of him anymore.'
Becca shook her head and laughed. She couldn't help it. It was too funny,'That man walked miles in a snowstorm and almost ended up dead to get back to me. He's not hurting me. He's more of a danger to himself than to me.' She looked over at him as he talked to Tommy,'He's been taking care of me. I know he's sorry for what he did and we're working through that.' She met the woman's gaze firmly, saying in a stern tone,'In all due respect, it's our business and we would like to keep it that way.'
Sharon's eyes widened slightly. Becca's never talked to her like that before. She had to admit, it stung. It seemed like Joel got to her too.
'Very well.' She cleared her throat and patted her arm,' I'll be seeing you in a few days. Don't forget to take your vitamins and make sure you take the Zofran as soon as you wake up in the morning. It might make you tired, but you'll do good with some sleep.'
She nodded slightly and smiled softly,'Thank you.'
Sharon got up from her bed and sighed,'For what it's worth. I love you and I am on your side.' She looked over at Joel and Tommy,'I don't care what anyone else thinks. The truth is on my side.'
Becca didn't say anything. She just stared at her. She hoped she were right.
Joel and Tommy got up from the kitchen table. It was time for them to head out.
Tommy walked over to Becca's bedside and handed her an envelope,'Ellie wanted me to give this to you. She said she's sorry and that she can't wait to see you on Monday.'
She opened the envelope and took out a picture. Ellie had drawn her the ranch. She smiled tearfully at the vivid colors. She even drew her garden. She saw her name neatly scrawled at the bottom.
There was a note on the back which read,'Here's a piece of home while you're away. I'm really sorry about everything. I can't wait to tell you that to your face on Monday. I love you and I miss you (tell the old man I'm playing his guitar.)
Becca laughed at the last sentence. She wasn't telling him that. It would only rule him up. The man had a weird obsession with his guitar and didn't like anyone touching it. She was surprised he didn't bring it with him.
She was happy to have a piece of home with her. A piece of Ellie. She couldn't wait to see her. She didn't blame her for anything that happened. She was just a scared child.
Becca's eyes filled with tears as she ran her fingers over her handwriting,'Thank you.' She shook her head,'I can't wait to see her too. It might not work. The council might not let me come back.'
'I wouldn't say that.' Tommy smiled knowingly,'You have more friends in Jackson than you think.'
Her eyes widened as he kissed the top of her head,'For the record? I was wrong and I'm so sorry about that, Becca. I was an asshole. You're like a sister to me.' He shook his head embarrassingly,'There aren't enough words.'
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it,'It's okay. What's done is done, Tommy. I appreciate your apology.' She smiled tearfully,'And I accept it.'
He sighed in relief as he kissed her hand,'Thank you. I'll see ya soon. Take care of yourself.' He shot her a grin, looking exactly like his brother in that moment,'Go easy on the old man, huh?'
'Never.' She smirked,'Someone's gotta keep him humble.'
He laughed as he watched as Joel walked Sharon outside. He stared at them warily,'I should probably head out there.'
She followed his eyes and nodded,'You should.' She scoffed,'Before you're dragging Sharon back to Jackson by her horse.'
Tommy just nodded and laughed. What's fucked up about it is she's right. He wouldn't put it past Joel to kill Sharon. If only for his peace of mind.
When they got outside, Joel closed the door behind them.
He crossed his arms over his chest as he stared the woman down,'I heard what you said to her.' He narrowed his eyes,' You think I would fuckin hurt my wife? That I would hold her against her will? That's your job.'
'Forgive me.' She cut her eyes up at him,'Considering your track record towards women. It was a question that needed to be asked. You've tried to shoot her twice. I don't know what kind of hold you have over that girl. You brainwashed her. You have her thinking she can't survive without you. She feels sorry for you.'
'That's enough.'
Sharon and Joel both turned around, their eyes widening when they saw Becca standing there. Tommy was standing next to her with an exasperated look on his face.
Tommy held his hands up and sighed,'I told her to stay put.'
Becca narrowed her eyes at Sharon,'Don't say that stuff to him. It isn't true.' She frowned,'I told you to stay out of our business. What goes on between me and my husband is our business and no one else's. How dare you come here and say all this in his brother's home. What gives you the right?'
Joel had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning like an idiot, but God it felt good to hear her say that. She called him her husband. It could've been a slip of the tongue or a way of her keeping up appearances for the council's sake, but it still felt good to hear it. He wanted to be her husband again. In anyway she would have him.
Sharon's cheeks reddened as she shook her head,'Has everyone gone crazy around here? This man has done nothing but hurt you since you've gotten here. How many times have you come crying to me because of him? How long is it gonna be before he hurts you again?'
Becca rubbed her forehead and took a deep breath,'Sharon, I am dealing with a lot of shit right now. I don't need a goddamned lecture from you or anyone else.' She pointed to Joel,'This man fucks up…a lot.'
He narrowed his eyes and scoffed,'Thanks.'
Becca rolled her eyes and sighed,'I fuck up a lot too.' She shrugged,'We fuck up together. We're working through things. We're not perfect. I don't think I owe an explanation to you, the council or Jesus Christ for who I choose to lay down with.' She placed her hand on Joel's chest as she stared at Sharon,'If you don't like the man I chose to marry than that's on you, but it isn't going to stop me from loving him. And if you ever say another disparaging word about my husband I'll knock your fucking teeth out. Council or not.'
Tommy's eyes widened as he hurriedly stood between them,'Okay, time for us to head back.'
Tommy shared a look with Joel. Here he had been worried about Joel the whole time. He never factored in a hormonal pregnant woman. He couldn't wait to tell Maria this when he got back home. She would be laughing about it for days.
Sharon shook her head at Becca as Tommy led her back to their horses,'You're gonna be sorry.'
'You first.' Becca nodded as she watched her get on her horse.
Joel whistled lowly as he walked over to her. She sighed and shook her head at the smirk on his face,'Don't you start now. I'm still mad at you too.'
He grinned as he watched them ride away on their horses,'You called me your husband.'
She crossed her arms over her chest as she walked back into the cabin,'Isn't that what you are? As far as the council is concerned we're married.'
His heart sank to his stomach and he nodded, feeling foolish for even hoping,'Right…the council.' He nodded curtly,'We gotta make them think we are right?'
The hurt was evident in his tone and she looked up at him and frowned,'I meant everything I said to her. Every word.'
'You did?' He shook his head as he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans,'Gotta be honest. I thought I was gonna go off on her. Never expected ya to.'
'She pissed me off.' She frowned,'I heard what she was saying to you out there. I didn't like what she was implying. You know none of that's true right?'
He was silent for a moment. He knew she loved him, but there was always a small part of himself that wondered if she pitied him. She never let him believe that though. Even now.
She walked over to him and placed her hands on his arms,'How can you still believe that after everything? I'm still here after everything and you still stand there thinking this is all some elaborate pity scheme?'
'No.' He shook his head and frowned,'I don't think that. Not anymore.' He took a deep breath and stroked her hair,'I'm just so fuckin grateful you're here. Everyday I wake up and see ya here. I'm so fuckin happy I didn't lose ya forever.' His eyes searched her face,'You don't hate me like ya said?'
'No.' She took his hands in hers and tangled their fingers together,'I sometimes say things I don't mean. We're both guilty of that. We gotta stop hurting each other. It doesn't do us any good. It just keeps us away from each other.' She frowned,'I don't like that. We're better together. Stronger.'
He nodded as he cupped her cheek,'Damn right we are.' He clicked his tongue as he squeezed her hands,'Can I be honest with you for a minute?' He waited until she nodded her head,'Seeing ya go off on Sharon like that really turned me on. You're always sexy, but when ya get mad?' He shook his head in disbelief and took a deep breath,'I forget what it's like to breathe. You're so fucking hot, honey girl.'
Her eyes widened at his words and she felt a rush of heat go through her. He leaned in close to her and she leaned away from him, making him frown.
She kept their hands intertwined as she grinned up at him,'What did I tell you about pretty words, husband?'
He snorted as he gently pulled her back to him. He stared at her mouth, knowing he wouldn't kiss her. Not today anyway. He wanted to though. Every second of the day.
Hope unfurled within him as she called him her husband. He shook his head, whispering, 'I can't help myself. I look at a pretty girl. I think of pretty words, wife.'
She rolled her eyes and pulled herself away from him,'Let's eat. You're gonna need energy for the brain to come up with some more pretty words.'
'I thought you didn't like pretty words?' He laughed,'I'm a smooth talker remember?'
'I never said I didn't like them.' She smirked,'After all the shit you put me though?' She snorted,'I deserve a poem at least.'
He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the counter,'Will you settle for a song instead?'
She looked up from the bowl as she cracked eggs into it. She glanced up at him, giving him a small smile,'I don't settle.'
He laughed as he nodded,'Don't I fucking know it?'