Chapter 77: History doesn't always repeat itself
'Never. We never truly lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don't disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.'
It was a Sunday afternoon and Joel was home alone with the baby. Becca and Ellie had went into town to get some supplies. He knew Becca was eager to get out of the house. For the past month since the baby's been born she didn't leave the farm. He thought it would be good for her to get out.
He was happy to be alone with Mateo and have some guy time. It was fun to watch him grow into a person. He would smile whenever someone talked to him. He would happily kick his feet whenever someone played with him. He was getting more muscle movement and was starting to become aware of his surroundings.
It was fun to watch him grow up. This was his favorite part of raising a baby. He thought having another baby would make him feel older, but ever since he was born he felt as if he's gotten a new lease on life. He had more energy. He was working out more and eating healthy. He was taking care of his body. He wanted to make sure he was around as long as he could be.
It was a warm summer day and he was sitting on the porch with Mateo. He was sitting up in his bassinet. Joel had his guitar in his hand as he strummed a song for him.
He started singing softly as he watched Mateo. He smiled as his son happily kicked his legs and punched at the air with his tiny fists. He seemed to love music. He wondered if he remembered him playing music for him inside the womb.
Joel finished the song as Mateo cooed and made noises. He chuckled softly as he whined,'You want an encore?' He saw the smile slowly spread across his tiny mouth and nodded,'You got it, buddy.'
He began another song with a uptempo beat. He smiled as Mateo squirmed in his bassinet as he watched him with rapt attention. He couldn't get over how much he looked like him, but he was glad to see he still had Becca's eye color.
He was a gorgeous baby. Maybe he was biased, but he couldn't stop looking at him. Having a baby gave him a newfound sense of purpose. He had another human being relying on him. He couldn't be reckless anymore.
Mateo started to get fussy and he propped his guitar against the chair. He bent down and picked up his son. He perched him on his lap as he gently patted his back. He calmed down immediately. He wasn't hungry or tired. He just wanted to be held.
He got up from the chair and walked off the porch. He brought him down to the sheep and perched him on the fence. He smiled as he started cooing at the sheep. He seemed to really love the animals, which was a good thing. He needed to be comfortable around the farm.
He kissed the top of his son's head and patted his back,'This is all gonna be yours one day, buddy.' He nodded as Mateo started making noises,'I know cool right? I'm gonna teach ya how to take care of the animals. You'll raise your family here. You're gonna keep our legacy alive.'
Joel stared out at the farm and sighed softly. Everything he's ever wanted was right here. It's why he fought so hard to protect it. Having a family and taking care of his farm was his purpose now. He didn't want to do anything else. He appreciated the quiet and peaceful life on the farm. He didn't miss the chaos, violence or uncertainty.
He was glad his son wasn't around to see it. He would never know what it's like to be in fear of his life. He wouldn't let his son be afraid of living.
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Becca and Ellie were walking around town, enjoying the warm weather.
Becca was glad to see the buildings being restored. It was slowly but surely coming together. The town would be better than it was before. Without the council controlling everything they could finally have the freedom which brought them to Jackson in the first place. The town could live up to its full potential.
She stopped in front of the townhall to check up on the renovations. The building had been demolished and the debris was cleared out. Joel had built a wooden bench and she would be able to start planting some trees and flowers pretty soon.
Tears filled her eyes as she thought about that horrible day. It was tragedy and never should've happened, but it did. They couldn't change it. The only thing they could do was make the best of it. They would always remember the people they lost. They would honor them as heroes.
Ellie frowned as she read over the list of peoples names who died in the shooting. There were over one hundred and twenty people. They knew everyone.
Ellie shook her head sadly and sighed,'I'm glad we hung the council for what they did.'
'Me too.' Becca nodded as she placed her hand on list of names etched into the plaque,'We don't ever have to worry about them again.'
Ellie thought about what she found in Sharon's house. For the past month she's been mulling it over on how to broach the subject. They've been preoccupied with the new baby. She didn't want to add on anymore stress, but she still wondered.
Becca looked over at her and noticed the distressed look on her face,'What's the matter?'
Ellie wondered if she should just ask her. She could be honest with Becca. She never got mad or judged her for being honest. She always respected her feelings.
Ellie looked up at her warily and frowned,'Don't get mad, but me and Am broke into Sharon's house.'
Becca's eyes widened slightly and she nodded slowly,'I'm not mad, but I wish you would've asked me or Joel. We wouldn't have minded if you wanted to learn more about your past. Did you find anything?'
'Yeah. I found some pictures.' She reached into her bag and handed her an envelope,'I think they're of my mom and dad.'
Becca led them over to the bench and they sat down. She looked around to make sure no one was watching them. She still didn't trust everyone. Just because the council's gone didn't mean their followers weren't lurking about. They've learned they liked to hide in plain sight.
Becca slid the photos out of the envelope. She saw photos of Anna with a tall dark haired man. She could see a lot of Ellie's likeness in him. There was a strong resemblance between them. This was her father. There was no doubt about it.
She could tell by his uniform he was a Firefly. Why would the people swore to protect Ellie want to kill her? Did they know about her all along? Was her mother used as a pawn as well?
'There's something else I found. Sharon was Anna's mom. She was my grandmother.' Ellie frowned,'She knew the whole time and didn't say a fucking thing.'
Becca snorted and shook her head,'That doesn't surprise me. It seems like we were lured here.'
Ellie looked around at the people in town and nodded,'It's like you still don't know who to trust.'
Becca had to agree with her. The war was won, but they didn't know if the battle was over. It's only been a month. They still could be out there.
Becca shook her head and sighed as she saw a young Joel in one of the photos,'Joel knows who your father is.' She frowned,'Why wouldn't he tell you?'
'To protect me?' She shrugged,'What if he was here, Becca? What if he was apart of this? What if he's still alive?'
'If he's alive then he's in hiding. Any survivors know better than to show their face around here.' She pursed her lips,'Let's go home and show these to Joel. Maybe he'll have some answers.'
Ellie smiled as they got up from the bench. She felt like a weight's been lifted off her chest. It felt good to talk to someone other than Am about this. She didn't know what it was important to her, but she needed to know who her father is. She wouldn't be able to rest until she found him. Dead or alive. At least she would be able to close that chapter on her life.
When they got back to the house, Joel was making lunch. Mateo was sleeping in his bassinet on the counter while he kept an eye on him.
He smiled when he saw them,'I was beginning to wonder if ya got lost.'
Becca smirked as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind,'You're not getting rid of us that easily.'
He grinned as he leaned back against her and turned his head to kiss her,'I would hunt ya both down like dogs.'
Ellie snorted as she leaned in and kissed Mateo's head,'I actually believe that.'
Becca carefully tucked Mateo in as she kissed all over his tiny face,'How was he for you?'
'Great.' He shrugged,'I played some music for him. We hung out with the sheep. We had some guy time.'
She smirked as she looked up at him. She never gave a second thought about leaving Joel alone with him. She wholeheartedly trusted him with their son. When it came to children he was more experienced than her. He was an attentive father, loving and supportive.
'You two hungry?' He grinned at Ellie,'What am I thinking? You're always hungry.'
Ellie huffed and playfully punched his shoulder,'You eat too much.'
'I could eat.' Becca grabbed a few plates and placed them on the table,'We stopped by the townhall. You did such a good job with it.'
He placed their grilled cheeses on their plates and sighed,'It still needs more work, but we're getting there.'
Becca placed Mateo's bassinet on the kitchen table as they sat down to eat. She looked over at Ellie. She knew she was apprehensive about showing him the photos, but she would never know unless she asked him. This is something she needed to do for herself.
Becca cleaned up after the finished lunch. Mateo started getting fussy and she brought him into the living room to breastfeed him. Ellie and Joel went outside to start their evening duties on the farm. Hopefully they would have some time to talk.
Joel and Ellie were in the barn feeding the horses before they got them ready for bed. She kept looking over at him; thinking about how to broach the topic of her father. Becca said just to ask him and that honesty was the best policy.
She took a deep breath as she gathered the roughage in the pail,'Did my mother ever have a boyfriend or was she married?'
Joel's eyes widened in surprise at her question. He dumped the roughage into one of the stables and shrugged,'I remember she was always with this one guy. I think his name was Bobby or Johnny. Something like that. Why ya ask?'
'I broke into Sharon's house and found some photos.' She took a step back as she saw his features darken,'I was safe. No one saw me. I swear. I found a key though. I think she wanted me to find it. It was to a lock box. I…found my birth certificate, but my father wasn't listed.' She went over to her bag and took out the photos, handing them to him,'Do you know who this is?'
Joel took the photos from her and carefully inspected them. He vaguely remembered the guy, but not enough to give her the information she was seeking. He wasn't hurt or angry she wanted to know who her father is. It's natural to want to know where you came from.
'His name was Bobby.' He nodded,'I remember now. He was a Firefly doctor.' He cleared his throat,'I don't know if they were married though.'
The information wasn't shocking to her. He did seem older than her mother. He also seemed to be enamored with her.
He shook his head and sighed,'I'm sorry. I wish I had more answers, kid.'
'It's alright.' She shook her head,'Do…you think he was one of the doctors at the hospital?'
He thought about it for a moment and shrugged,'He very well could've been. He could also still be alive too.'
Ellie stared down at the photos and sighed,'Sharon was Anna's mom. She was my grandmom.'
Joel's eyes widened as he scoffed,'Shit, sorry about that.' He scratched the back of his neck and sighed,'I'll help ya find out who your dad is.'
'Really?' Ellie's eyes widened,'You would do that for me? You're not mad?'
'Why would I be mad?' He cupped her cheek as he looked over her face,'You deserve to know who your father is. Just cause I'm your dad now doesn't mean you shouldn't find out who your real dad is. I'm sure Becca would love to help too.'
She nodded and smiled softly,'She already said she would. Thank you for understanding.'
He shrugged and patted her cheek,'I'm your dad. I won't always understand but I'll help. Now let's finish the chores and get washed up for dinner.'
Ellie laughed as he ruffled her hair. She went back to finish her chores. She felt better about the situation, knowing she had people in her corner. She didn't feel so alone. Hopefully she could find out who her father is and move on with her life.
She couldn't help but wonder if she knew him. He looked so familiar to her, but she didn't want to tell anyone just yet. She could be wrong and didn't want to worry anyone for nothing.
After dinner, Ellie helped Becca give Mateo a bath in the sink. She helped her change him and put him to bed. She liked helping out with her little boy. He was starting to become more alert and into his own person. He was starting to become fun.
Ellie went into her room to read while Becca and Joel went into their own room. They were all exhausted from the long day and just wanted to lay down.
Becca was lying in bed reading a book when Joel walked into the room from his shower. He dried his hair off with the towel as he looked over at her. She was wearing one of her more revealing nightgowns. One of the straps was falling down and his fingers itched to slide it down all the way.
He felt his body responding to her. Just as it did whenever he looked at her. He knew she was well enough to be intimate again, but he knew she was struggling with body issues and was a little self conscious about it. He wanted her know he didn't give a damn. She just had a baby. He didn't expect her to bounce back so fast. Besides, he loved her body. In anyway he could have it. She was sexier than ever to him.
He changed into a pair of boxers and crawled into bed beside her. He laid his head on her shoulder and nuzzled into her skin, whispering,'Ellie asked me about her father today.'
Becca sighed as she closed her book and placed it on the nightstand,'I'm sure she told you about Sharon being her grandmother too.' She snorted,'What is it with crazy ass grandparents? They're supposed to be the normal ones. Sharon and Francis were two good ones together. I'm surprised they never linked up.' She saw the look on his face and her eyes widened,'You don't think?'
'I don't know.' He chuckled softly,'A lotta weird shit has happened over the last few years. I wouldn't rule it out. I told her I would help her though.'
'Me too.' She slid closer to him and laid her head on his chest,'She deserves to know. Maybe Betsy or Maria will know more. Or we could go back to Sharon's house.'
'I was thinking that too.' He nodded,'We'll go in a couple days. We don't wanna make it too obvious. We should go into the rest of the council's houses too and see what those fuckers are hiding.'
She shook her head and sighed,'What if Richard was killed because he knew too much? What if he was just a decoy?'
Joel narrowed his eyes as a chill ran up his spine,'You're saying Francis and Sharon could've been together all along?'
'I don't know.' She frowned,'Anything's possible. There's a reason why that man has such a hold on people and held power over their heads. I've been reading Francis's research. He…found a way to manipulate the virus and replicate it in a controlled setting. He was infecting people and seeing if he could cure them. He killed so many people, Joel. People we probably don't even know about. He's making me question my entire existence. Ellie isn't the only one who needs answers.'
He smirked and lolled his head on her shoulder,'You women and your answers.'
She laughed and gently slapped his chest,'I'm being serious. Ellie deserves to know where she came from. If Francis was somehow linked to Ellie we could be related, Joel. I might not be her mother.'
'A mother ain't a title.' He sat up and pointed to the wall where Mateo slept soundly on the other side,'He's blood, but El's your daughter just as he's your son. So what if you're related to her? You're still her mother in every way it counts.'
She nodded and smiled tearfully,'You're right. We'll help her because we're her parents.'
'Damned right we are.' He stared into her eyes as he held her face in his hands,'We should go on a date.'
She chuckled softly and rested her forehead against his,'Where would we go?'
'Somewhere that ain't the farm.' His eyes looked over her face as he licked his lips,'Just you and me. I think we deserve that.'
She nodded and smiled softly,'I do too. I'll ask Ellie, Betsy or Maria to watch him. I still owe you Arrowhead, but I want to wait until Mateo can start bottle feeding. We'll have our date though. Maybe we can go to the lake like we used to.'
'I would love that.' He laid his head down on the pillow and brought her down with him to lay on his chest,'Gonna take ya out and show ya off.'
She blushed and smiled shyly as she looked up at him. His eyes were closed and he was already fast asleep. She laughed softly and leaned over him to turn the light off.
She settled closer to him and stared into the darkness. She thought about Sharon and Francis. What if Francis was somehow related to Ellie as well? It wouldn't make a difference either way. They were still family. It would change the dynamics.
She wondered if Joel knew more than he was letting on. He seemed to be integrated into the crew at one point, but all she could do was trust her husband. He wouldn't willingly help them if he had something to hide.
At least she hoped not anyway.