The Kraken and the Lion, Chapter Six
by Technomad
Tyrion Lannister"You're getting married, my lord?" Shae gave Tyrion an unreadable look. "I'd heard rumors, but wasn't sure whether to believe them."
"Yes, Shae, I am. And that means our time together has come to an end." Tyrion sat down, feeling very sad. Shae was a prostitute, and at the bottom of the social pecking order, but she'd been good to him. She gave excellent value for money, and he had no complaints whatsoever about her.
Shae raised one eyebrow. "That's odd. Many men wouldn't let marriage get in the way of keeping a girl on the side." She grinned suddenly. "You could say that for us, married men are our bread and butter."
"Yes, Shae, but I'm not 'most men.' You may have noticed that." Tyrion grinned suddenly, inviting her to look carefully at him. "And I took more than enough risks keeping you here in Kings Landing. If my lord father found out about you…he'd take steps. And it wouldn't be one little bit pleasant for you. Not to mention what my new bride might do."
"Oh? What might she do? Cry? Throw wine glasses at me? Try to claw my eyes out? Pull my hair?" Shae laughed contemptously. "No offense meant, my lord, but I grew up gutter. I can handle myself in a fight, with room to spare."
"She'd be likelier to cleave your skull in two with one of her axes," Tyrion answered, as Shae gaped at him.
"Axes?"
"Oh, yes. Didn't the rumors you heard include that tidbit? She's Lady Asha Greyjoy, and she's an ironwoman. She's a reaver in her own right, and commands a ship full of ironmen. She practices regularly with my mountain clansmen, along with her crew, and she holds her own. Any woman who can make Shagga son of Dolf…you do remember him?….respect her is no slouch in a fight."
"She spars with Shagga?" Asha's eyes grew very wide. "And…holds her own?"
"Yes, she does. Still think you want to get into a nice little girl-fight with her?" Shae shook her head, hard. She had seen more than enough of Shagga to know that while the mountaineer was barbaric and crude, he was a very formidable fighter. "Good. Now that that's settled, we can get on to figuring out your next move. Do you have any preferences of your own, Shae?"
"Me?" Shae was gobsmacked. She had never had a client of hers ask what she wanted. "Well, I don't know, but a nice new arrangement with someone who'll treat me decently would be wonderful. One thing I really liked about my time with you was that you were always decent to me."
"Thank you, Shae," Tyrion said, quite touched. He felt sad for Shae…to think that a girl had such a lousy life that just decent treatment was a pleasant change! "I wonder how you'd feel about my right-hand swordsman, Bronn? He brought you to me originally, remember?"
"How could I forget?" Shae dimpled. "As for how I'd feel about being his leman instead of yours, I'd be willing enough. Have you talked to him about it?"
"I haven't, yet, but I don't think he'd mind taking you under his wing. I pay him well for his services, so that should be no problem. And he'll treat you well." Tyrion suddenly grinned unpleasantly. "Or he'll answer to me. And Shagga. And Cheyk. And Timmett son of Timmett."
Shae shuddered. She knew all the mountain clansmen that followed her now ex-leman, and while they were all scary, Timmett son of Timmett gave her the shivering creeps. When she thought about what a man who was willing to burn his own eye out just to win power in his own tribe might be capable of, she gave devout thanks to the Seven, even though she was not normally at all religious, that he had never been one of her clients. Like other women in her profession, she knew she took risks, but she drew the line at servicing an obvious madman. She'd almost sooner have risked Gregor Clegane's bed.
"So this is how it ends," Shae mused. She looked over at Tyrion, and smiled. "I'd offer you a goodbye bout, but I think that you're already in love with that fiancee of yours. Is that it? Or is this just a matter of 'oh, how I love her…father's money!'"
Tyrion blushed. "To be honest, Shae, I find I do love her. She's everything I could want in a wife. For starters, she's nothing like my sister."
"That's a good start right there," Shae commented. While Tyrion did not normally confide much in her about his relations with his family, other than to warn her repeatedly about not ever coming to his pornaeophobic father's attention lest she wear a hempen neck-brace, she was streetwise and had quickly cultivated her own sources of information. Servants were everywhere, and they heard things…and many nobles tended to forget that each servant had two ears, and a brain between them.
"And," Tyrion went on, "even without that sort of thing, she's still a good alliance for my family. And one thing that we nobles have to take into account is that our marriages often have at least as much to do with politics as anything else."
"I've known that all my life." Shae had never heard of a nobleman so insane as to marry for love, other than Tyrion, his first time around…and hadn't that turned into a nightmare? Other than Tyrion, she knew that noble marriages were always arranged with a sharp eye on their political effect. Without that, she didn't think that Queen Cersei and King Robert of blessed memory would have married, or stayed together as long as they had.
"So it's settled? If Bronn's agreeable, he can take over your upkeep, and you'll always have my goodwill. A Lannister always pays his debts." Tyrion rose, and offered her his hand, man-style.
Shae stood as well, and they shook hands in agreement. As Tyrion turned to go, Shae thought she saw tears starting in his eyes. She shook her head. No doubt this blurriness I'm getting is because there's dust in the air…
Asha GreyjoyWhen Asha's crew heard the news about her upcoming nuptials, they whooped with glee. They knew that a wedding meant a big party, with food, drink, and lots of opportunities for fun. They also were delighted when they heard who she was marrying.
"Will he be a rock husband or a salt husband?" The merriment stopped when Asha fixed them all with her "captain's" eye. They suddenly remembered who they were, and who she was. As a Greyjoy, she was near to the top of the social scale on the Iron Islands. And she had more than earned their respect in the years she had commanded the Black Wind.
"He'll be my husband. That's all you need to know." Asha suddenly smiled. "And, yes, you're all invited to the wedding. I wouldn't want to be the only ironborn there."
That perked them on up. "We'll show these soft folk how to really have a party! Maybe we can teach some of them the finger dance!" Asha grinned to herself at the thought of her crew interacting with the stuffy nobles who seemed to populate the court. She thought that a lot of them could do with some loosening up.
She left them, merrily planning how they'd eat and drink their way through the party, and turned to go…and found herself confronting Qarl the Maid. Unlike the others in her crew, he was not delighted. Instead, he looked like he'd just heard his ship had sunk.
Asha felt terrible. She and Qarl had always been attracted to each other, but had never really acted on it; life at home wasn't conducive to privacy, and on shipboard, of course, there was no privacy at all. No more than there is here, she thought, looking around instinctively for the peepholes and listening holes that she knew had to be there. That horrible Varys creature knew too much about everything that went on at court for her taste. She had been warned repeatedly about his "little birds," and been told by several people that there were secret passages everywhere in the Red Keep that allowed his spies to find out whatever he needed to know to keep one jump ahead of everybody.
"Are you really getting married, Skipper?" asked Qarl.
Asha reached out and took his hands in hers. "Yes, Qarl. You and I always knew this day would come. For better or worse, I'm a Greyjoy, and you're the grandson of a thrall. If things were different…but they aren't, and can't be. It's nothing against you. I always knew I'd have to marry someday. And one day you'll find yourself a lovely rock wife and she'll make you forget I ever even existed."
"Can a rock wife from the Islands command a ship as well as you? Can she do 'men things' as well as you?" Qarl turned away for a second, before turning back to face her. "Part of what I always liked best about you, Skipper, was that even though you're a woman, you can do everything we men can do and do those things well. Most women bore me senseless…or beardless!" He stroked his hairless cheeks and gave her a mocking grin.
Asha grinned back. "For what it's worth, and I know it doesn't mean much to you now, I'll always treasure those words…and the times we did have together. And when we're all back in Pyke, I'll stir around and see if I can find you a woman who pleases you."
"Thank you, Skipper. You always look out for your crew first, and yourself second. A crewman can't ask for anything more." Qarl politely bowed and went on down the corridor, and Asha stared out the glazed window, not wanting to be around anybody until her tears stopped flowing. Even though she was delighted to be marrying Tyrion, she'd always have a little place in her heart for Qarl the Maid. If nothing else, he had paid her the highest compliment a crewman could make about his skipper.
Several days later, Asha was walking down a corridor with Tyrion toward the throne room, when they were suddenly jolted out of their focus on each other by a shrill scream. Both of them were suddenly on high alert, as were Tyrion's clansmen and Asha's crewmen, who had been escorting them down the hall.
"It's in the throne room, whatever it is! Come on! We've got to see what's gone wrong!" Tyrion suited his actions to his words, running off down toward the throne room as fast as his legs could carry him. Unfortunately, or otherwise, he couldn't run fast, and Bronn swept him up and carried him, as Asha and the others pelted on after Bronn.
When they got to the throne room, it took a few seconds for Asha to process what she was seeing. In the middle of the floor, Sansa Stark was crouching, wearing nothing but her stockings and shoes, trying futilely to protect her modesty with her hands, with the remains of her gown in shreds all around her. There were angry red weals all over her, shockingly red against her milk-white skin. Standing over her, King Joffrey raised a whip, and brought it down for another blow, as the Kingsguard stood, watching events unfold impassively. Sansa let out another piercing shriek: "Mercy, your Grace! Mercy!" The king grinned lecherously, and drew back for another blow.
"What is the meaning of this?" barked Tyrion. "Have you gone mad, your Grace?" He strode forward, and anger made him seem taller and taller. Joffrey was taller than his uncle, and King, but he quailed as Tyrion snatched the whip from his hand. Tyrion threw it aside and wiped his hand on his tunic, as though he had touched something filthy. "The lady is your affianced bride! How dare you shame her in this way?" Then he remembered that Asha was there. "My lady Asha, could you please see to the Lady Sansa's needs?" He gestured. "At least get her something to cover herself! This is indecent!"
"I was punishing her! For her brother's treason!" Joffrey squealed, backing up the steps toward the Iron Throne, to get away from his outraged uncle.
"Her brother has been in rebellion for some time now, your Grace," Tyrion answered, making "your Grace" sound like the name of something horrible he'd stepped in on the street. "Has there been news that I haven't heard yet?"
"There has been news, from the North. Robb Stark won a great victory. There are reports that wolves fought on his side. His Grace was distraught at the news."
"As well he might be. Should the Starks take Kings Landing, his head will end up on a spike. Just like his mother, his brother and sister…and mine, let us not forget. I have no more wish for a Stark victory in this war than any man or woman in this court. But the Lady Sansa can have had no part in this debacle. Punishing the only person who could conceivably beg mercy for us all should the Starks win strikes me as foolish, as well as cruel and unreasonable."
Joffrey had reached the Iron Throne, and sat down in it…carefully. "I am the King! The King can do as he likes!"
Tyrion gave him a nasty grin. "Just like Mad King Aerys did. Did my brother, your Uncle Jaime, ever tell you just what happened to him?"
At this, there was a stir among the Kingsguard. "No man threatens the King in the presence of the Kingsguard!" One of them, bolder than the others, stepped forward.
Tyrion raised an eyebrow. "Ser, I was not threatening the king, I was instructing my dear nephew in the things he needs to know to live a long, full, happy life. Bronn, Shagga…the next time this man opens his mouth without my leave, kill him." The knight looked at Bronn and Shagga, who leered at him and fingered his axe, and shut right up. "That was a threat. Do you see the difference?" Silence answered his question. "Good. Learn to master yourself, your Grace, or your reign shall be shorter than I am!"
Meanwhile, Asha and her one female crew member, Hagen's daughter Jinjur, were ministering to Sansa. Both women had yanked off their cloaks, and Sansa was wrapped up neatly, clutching the scratchy, coarse Iron Islands wool as though it were the finest silks and brocades. Once she saw that her ordeal was over, she burst into tears, and Jinjur held her close, letting her cry it out.
"Let's take her back to our quarters. Nobody will molest her there…right?" Asha gave her crew a hard look, but she had no worries. Many of them had daughters at home, and all of them were clearly as outraged as she herself was. She longed to have the lessoning of this spoiled, cowardly, arrogant princeling. By the time she was done with him, he'd be licking out the bilges on the Black Wind if she said to!
Lady Sansa couldn't walk, so Hagen picked her up in his arms, cradling her as though she were his own daughter. "My lord Tyrion, you must excuse us. We need to see to the lady's hurts, and get her some new clothes," Asha said, and signalled for her men to leave at Tyrion's nod of approval. As she herself left, she could have sworn she saw Tyrion wink at her.
END Chapter 06