Chapter 10
Tyrion LannisterTyrion groaned. A whole day of handing out loaves to common people, dressed in the robes of a penitent, had taken a good deal out of him. The robes had been unpleasantly hot, and he had sweated fairly freely.
Beside him, Cersei sank down into a chair, fanning herself. Even blotched with heat and dressed in burlap robes, Tyrion had to admit she looked lovely. "I hope we don't have to do this again in a hurry!" she muttered. She pulled back her hood, and wiped sweat off her forehead.
"I don't think we'll need to," Tyrion replied. "Today's little exercise in public humility went very well, sweet sister. How did you keep my dear, dear nephew from making a mess of things?"
Unexpectedly, Cersei grinned at her brother. "Oh, that was easy. I just told him that if he didn't cooperate, and make it look like he was doing it cheerfully, I'd let Sandor Clegane train him…and not hold back!" She shrugged her shoulders. "Joffrey's known the Hound all his life, and knows that the Hound won't take his sass. Gods, I hope this is the last time we have to do this for a while!"
"I'll ask Asha. She's got a better idea of how many ships the ironmen have, and how much grain they can move from the Lannister lands." Tyrion smiled. "And once these shipments become a matter of routine, we won't have to do this ourselves. The High Septon has the septons and septas organized."
Tyrion thought back on the day. He, Cersei, Joffrey, Lavan and several other prominent members of the court had been handing out loaves, with goldcloaks standing by to ink the hands of the recipients. This had not gone over badly; most people did not care for the idea of people cheating to get extra bread. Luckily, the ironmen had managed to bring in enough grain, on top of what was already stored, to give every family in the city a loaf. And when the day was done, the people had cheered Joffrey…and Cersei, and Tyrion. That had to be good.
And, speak of evil and it appears…Joffrey came swaggering in. "Well? Have I humbled myself enough, dear uncle?" He pulled off the heavy burlap robe with a sneer and threw it at Tyrion. "I have never been so humiliated in all my life!"
"Being King means there's lots of things you do that you don't want to, Joffrey," Tyrion explained, after he'd got himself untangled from his nephew's robe. "Better get used to it!"
"I am the King, and the King does as he likes!" At this, both Tyrion and Cersei's eyes narrowed.
"You may be the King, but you are still an underaged boy, and as such, the Hand, or the Hand's deputy, may override you. You have not yet reached the age of majority, Joff." Cersei's words were gently phrased, but the edge in her voice told Tyrion that she, too, was getting mortally sick and tired of this spoiled, arrogant princeling. Maybe she even regrets dosing dear Robert with strongwine before his hunt? Tyrion wondered. Then he shook his head, dismissing that insane idea. Cersei had hated and resented Robert, partly for his whoring and general excesses, and partly for still being at least somewhat in love with Lyanna Stark. Tyrion was rather surprised that she'd waited so long to get rid of her unloved husband. All things being taken into account, Robert's lucky to be shut of sweet Cersei, once and for all. Would that I were!
Years of practice at dealing with his sister kept Tyrion's thoughts off his face, but he had considered asking Asha if, after their wedding, a long honeymoon far from the Royal Court would be possible. He could see that she didn't care much for Kings Landing, and he couldn't honestly blame her. The place had never been fun for him, even without the war. And the state of more-or-less siege meant that it felt claustrophobic, even for him who'd grown to manhood in Lannisport and Casterly Rock. How much worse would it be for Asha, who was a creature of the open sea?
And, speaking of Asha…his fiancee walked in. "How went the distribution? Was there enough to go around?" She poured herself a cup of wine and sat down, winking at Tyrion.
Joffrey exploded, just as Tyrion had known Asha had known he would. "How dare you be so casual around me, your king?" His face turned an unseemly shade of red, and he literally shook with rage. "After you wed my uncle, I'll take you in hand myself!"
Asha looked him over cooly, like something in a market she wasn't sure she cared about enough to buy. "Little boy," she drawled, "you aren't a tenth of the man your uncle is. And after the wedding, I'll be your aunt. Have you forgotten about that…or is that sort of thing accepted around here? It isn't in the Iron Islands. We keep our sticky fingers off our relatives."
Joffrey went even redder, while Cersei went white. Tyrion masked a smile behind his cup of wine. She had put both of them in their place, without doing anything the least bit out of line. And Cersei couldn't call her on it without proclaiming her guilt to all present. She knew that Tyrion knew, but didn't know that Asha knew…and she would have died of shame had Joffrey known that his father was his mother's brother! Not to mention what would happen if the servants heard. Tyrion's actions had reminded her that every servant had two eyes, two ears and a functioning brain between them, and what they knew, they could share.
Cersei finally recovered her aplomb. "The Lady Asha is quite correct, Joffrey. I think you're tired. You've had a long day. You need to take a nap." Her blue eyes went cold and hard. "Sort of now-ish."
Their wills visibly clashed, and Joffrey's broke. With a muttered "By your good leave, my ladies, my lord," he left the room, heading toward his bedroom.
Cersei turned to Asha. "Please forgive him, my lady. My son was always a difficult child, and the elevation to the throne hasn't helped much. Once he's married, his new wife may be able to stabilize him."
Asha raised an eyebrow. "After that ugly scene that Lord Tyrion and I walked in on in the throne room, Your Grace, I have my doubts about that. The Lady Sansa is frightened of her own shadow, and His Grace takes great pleasure in abusing her. Did he learn that from his father?"
Cersei went red. "What do you mean?" After Asha finished describing just what Joffrey had been doing when she and Tyrion had interrupted him, Cersei went white as a sheet. "Seven save us all! I'd heard about some ugly incident, but this is worse than I had heard!" She got up and stalked off in the direction of her son's room. "I think it's time I had a long talk with that boy!"
Asha and Tyrion looked at each other. "Good luck to her," Asha said, with a smile. "That sort doesn't respond to talkings-to. Thrashings are about the only language they understand."
"Strictly between you and me, Lady Asha, I'm not sure that even thrashings would do much good. The rot is too deep." Shrugging off Joffrey and all his works, Tyrion pulled out a roll of paper. "This is my plan for dealing with Stannis Baratheon's fleet, when they attack Kings Landing. Our spies say he's got an attack coming, soon. What do you think of it?"
Asha's dark eyes went wide as she saw Tyrion's plan. "So that's what you've been up to with all those smithies! This is ingenious!" She pointed at the map of the harbor. "And here's how I think we can use the Iron Fleet to help out…" The two of them bent to their work, oblivious of the outside world.
Asha GreyjoyAsha was soon deep in conference with the ironborn captains who were in Kings Landing. Swearing them to secrecy, she explained Lord Tyrion's plan, and they were all eager to get in on the fun. "Those ships will be brimming with loot," they gloated, "and we'll get a share of it!" The Islands were very poor, and even the wealthiest captains were always on the lookout for more.
Spreading out a large map, Asha began explaining Lord Tyrion's plan for the upcoming battle. The captains crowded close, nodding and exclaiming to themselves at the brilliance of this scheme, and Asha smiled to see their enthusiasm.
When they parted for the day, the plan was completely in place. All that was needed for a brilliant victory was Stannis Baratheon, and Asha was sure, from what she'd heard of the man, that he'd cooperate fully in his own undoing.
Some weeks later, she was aroused from sleep by a maid. "Lady Asha? Lady Asha?"
"Yes?" Rolling naked from her bed, Asha began pulling on her clothes. "What is it?"
"The enemy fleet has hove into sight. Lord Tyrion wishes you to don your battle gear and report to him, immediately."
"You may give my compliments to Lord Tyrion, and tell him that I'll be there as quickly as I can." As the maid left, Asha scrambled into her armor, strapped on her sword, picked up her helmet and shield, and walked out, to find herself faced with her crew.
"Today, my friends, we'll show these soft green people what ironborn can really do!" Her words brought a loud, hoarse cheer. "I have a bet on with Lord Tyrion! He thinks his mountain clansmen will do better on the battlefield than you will! Will you win that bet for me?"
"YES!" And with that, Asha Greyjoy led her men, and one woman, off to battle, her step light and her head high.
END Chapter 10