Episode 89: Caught Off-Tardiguard!

Ash, Brock, and Brenda are back on the road again, in the middle of a peaceful walk through the wilderness. On the road to Cosm City, the location of Brenda's next Contest, our heroes seem to have finally found themselves a moment of tranquility. How long will it last?

The answer is, not long. Somebody nearby shouts for help. Ash, Brock, and Brenda look to each other for a moment, and then run in the direction of the cry.

They quickly spot a burning building off in the distance, with an old woman standing helplessly outside it. Ash shouts, "We have to put the fire out!" He throws a Pokéball, sending out Dashilisk. "Dashilisk, use Scald!"

The water Dashilisk shoots may be steaming hot, but it still serves to exhaust some flames.

Brenda throws a Pokéball too, sending out Kappaqueous. "Use Aqua Bomb!"

Kappaqueous' orbs of water explode on contact with the building, spraying water all over it.

Brock says to the old woman, "Ma'am, you have to get clear of the building, it's dangerous."

The woman shakes her head. "No, my friend, Muttnik, is still in there. Please, we have to get her out!"

Without thinking twice, Ash nods. "I'm on it!" He runs right up to the door of the burning building, but is denied access when several burning beams fall and block the door.

Brenda shouts, "Ash, you can't go in there! It's too dangerous!"

Ash shakes his head, "No way, we can't let that Muttnik stay in there! We have to help it!"

Then, off in the distance, someone blows a whistle, and then shouts, "Stand aside! Leave this to the professionals!" On the top of a hill behind them, a young woman stands holding a whistle. She's dressed in a blue and white uniform. She blows the whistle again and commands, "Tardiguard Squad, move out! Tardiguard A and B, get into that building and get that Muttnik out, Tardiguard C, D, and E, put out the fire!" She blows the whistle once more, and Pokémon march into view from behind her. They are small, pudgy, and squishy creatures. Their bodies are colored a light blue. They crawl in an undulating manner on six legs. Their body proportions combined with their squishiness almost makes them look like giant six-legged gummy bears. Each one of them wears a different colored scarf around their necks.

Two of them crawl right through the flames and into the building, seemingly unaffected by the flames altogether. The other three use a Water Gun attack to attempt to put out the flames.

Ash is completely baffled by this sight, unsure of what to make of these bizarre Pokémon.

A little bit later, one of the Pokémon pokes its head out the second story window, right through some flames, and looks down. It calls out to the ones on ground, "Tardi!" The others nod in agreement. The first backs back in, and puts out the window flame with its own Water Gun. Seconds later, a Muttnik leaps through the window. As it falls to the ground, the three on the floor aim their Water Guns to it, cushioning its fall.

Once Muttnik is safely on the ground, it rejoices, "Mutt mutt!" It runs to its owner and happily licks her.

The old woman is extremely relieved. "Muttnik, I'm so glad you're safe!"

The two Pokémon left in the burning building now jump from the window themselves, landing on the floor without any cushioning, and appear completely fine. Right away they turn to the building and begin to help with the firefighting.

Ash is stunned by all this. "Wow, those are some tough Pokémon."

The fire is now out. The old woman thanks the young one, "Thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done without you. Muttnik and I are in your dept."

The young woman shakes her head. "You owe us nothing. We are always happy to help."

The old woman smiles and leaves with her Muttnik.

The young woman turns to Ash and the others. "You three were very brave to help, but you're lucky we showed up when we did."

Ash nods agreement. "For sure." He looks to the five Pokémon that now amble about their trainer in an aimless manner. "Those are some weird Pokémon you've got there." He pulls out his Pokédex.

"Tardiguard, the Survivalist Pokémon and a Water and Psychic Combo-Type. It is famous for its ability to thrive in nearly any environment. It has been found in freezing cold and boiling hot temperatures, in extreme radiation, and even the vacuum of space. Does not evolve."

Ash comments, "Wow, that's so cool!"

Brenda looks at them and proclaims, "And they're so cute too! Look at how squishy they are!"

Ash adds, "It's hard to believe something so squishy can be so tough."

The woman nods. "Yup, these little guys are a marvel of nature. My name is Arianna, and this is the Tardiguard Squad. Together we work hard to protect the people of Tenno."

Without warning, Brock has appeared before Arianna. He proclaims, "Arianna, you have set out on the noble mission of saving the region, but in the process, you have done something so much more important, you have saved my heart from loneliness. Now please, if only you could save me from-"

"Meteor!" Meteorfight appears and uppercuts Brock away.

When Brock lands upside down, he finishes, "That…if only you could save me from that…"

Just ignoring him, Arianna continues, "Allow me to introduce you." She blows her whistle and declares, "Tardiguard Squad, form up!" at the call of her whistle, the Tardiguard switch from their aimless wandering to line up behind her. Arianna beckons to the first one, wearing a red scarf, "This is Tardiguard A, he's the leader of the bunch and a natural at coming up with plans." Then it's the one with green. "Tardiguard B is the brave one, and will go into any situation without question." Then the pink. "Tardiguard C remains cool, calm, and collected, no matter what's going on." Next blue. "Tardiguard D is the tough one, always looking for a fight. And finally, Tardiguard E-" She freezes up and falls to the ground when she realizes the yellow-scarfed Tardiguard is missing. She gets back up and chuckles to relieve the tension. "Tardiguard E is what you might call a free thinker…he's always wondering off."

Next to a nearby tree, Pikachu calls out, "Pika!" It's pointing to Tardiguard E.

The Tardiguard sits on its bottom, with its head and legs pointing straight forward, reinforcing the gummy bear-like aspect of the Pokémon. It absent-mindedly declares, "Tardi." It and Pikachu laugh at each other.

Ash laughs. "That's so cool. My name's Ash, and that over there is my partner Pikachu. We're from Pallet Town."

Brenda adds, "And my name's Brenda."

Not having recovered yet, Brock says with remorse, "I'm Brock…"

Arianna suddenly gets an idea and asks, "Hey, do you folks have anywhere to eat dinner and spend the night? If not, you're free to come to the station. Think of it as our thanks for helping out today."

Ash smiles. "That would be great. Thanks so much!"

"Well then, let's go." She blows her whistle again. "Tardiguard Squad, forward march!" They all head off, except Tardiguard E, who only realizes that they've left a few moments later and rushes to catch up.

Spying on them from nearby is Team Rocket. James comments, "What bizarre Pokémon those are."

Jessie gushes, "But they're just absolute cuties!"

Meowth states, "They may look like bags of water, but I say they're bags of cash."

James and Jessie look to Meowth. James asks, "How so?"

Meowth enlightens them with a fantasy sequence. "It's all about The Boss, and what he needs. Just imagine The Boss in his office, it's one of those sweltering hot days, so hot that you could fry an egg on The Boss' desk." In the fantasy, the cartoony Giovanni pokes and prods aimlessly and a frying egg on his desk as he sweats profusely. "It's so hot that none of lazy, good-for-nothing grunts have shown up for work. How is anything supposed to get done on a day such as this? The Tardiguard Squad, that's how!" The five scarf-wearing Tardiguard burst through the door and march in. They begin to perform various menial tasks. "They'll come to his rescue and make sure that works get done, completely unhindered by the heat."

"But that's not all. Now imagine The Boss is at home, and it's freezing cold."

James interrupts, "Is this the same day as the boiling hot one?"

Meowth shouts, "Of course it's not! It's a different day!" He calms down and continues, "Anyways, it's freezing cold and The Boss is in his back yard, fumbling with his very important and very expensive watch, when he accidently drops it into his pool." The fantasy Giovanni pouts as he watches his watch sink. "Of course, he knows that it's so cold that diving into this pool would give him instant hypothermia. But he also knows that he needs this watch to look his most boss-liest. Cue the Tardiguard Squad." Fantasy Giovanni blows a whistle, and the Tardiguard march in once more, and dive right into the pool. They swim to the bottom and retrieve the watch. Once it's returned, Giovanni jumps in joy and cheers. "With his watch retrieved there will be only one thing on The Boss' mind. He'll say, 'Thanks to this Tardiguard Squad, I've been saved from both hyperthermia and hypothermia. For giving me the ultimate survivalist Pokémon, I'll make sure that Meowth and friends are given enough money to survive anything as well.'" The fantasy concludes.

In tandem, Team Rocket chant, "Catch the Tardiguard, recharge our credit card!"

"Wobbuffet!"

Who's the Pokémon!?

This legendary Pokémon can scorch the world with fire. It helps those who want to build a world of truth.

Arianna has led Ash and the others to their base of operations in the next town over. It's a somewhat small building with a large training course outside. The course is filled with various obstacles and structures. Arianna explains, "That's the course where the Tardiguard and I train together to ready for any situation."

Pikachu excitedly runs over to the beginning of the course and tries running it. First it dashes along a track and hops over a couple hurdles, but its progress is stopped when it comes to a large wall. Pikachu looks up at the wall, puzzling over how it's supposed to get up and over. "Pika?"

Tardiguard B, the one with the green scarf, walks up and shows Pikachu how it's done, climbing the wall by adhering to it like a bug climbing a wall. Once at the top, it looks down to Pikachu and calls, "Tardiguard!"

Pikachu waves up to it, and then runs around the base of the wall, knowing that there's no way it can scale it. It and Tardiguard B move on to the next obstacle, which is a series ditches which have to be jumped over.

Arianna laughs. "Your Pikachu would make a pretty good member of the team."

Ash laughs too. "Pikachu is always looking for ways to challenge itself." He adds, "And have a good time too."

Arianna nods. "Of course. But I don't think Pikachu will be able to make it much further in the course, things are about to get extreme."

Ash looks back to the course to see what she means. Pikachu and Tardiguard B have made it to the next segment, and Pikachu skids to a stop when it realizes that the floor ahead of it is incredibly sharp and spikey. There's no way it could ever cross without hurting itself. Tardiguard B, on the other hand, keeps on going and never stops, climbing right onto the spikey floor, completely unbothered by the sharp edges beneath it.

Brenda can't believe her eyes. "Tardiguard must be invincible. Nothing can stop those guys."

Arianna grins. "In all my years training these guys, I have yet to see something stop them. They'll just keep on trooping on."

Pikachu watches in awe as Tardiguard B moves on to the next segment, which involves literal flamethrowers blasting fire at it as it passes through. It goes straight from this extreme heat into an underwater portion of the course in freezing cold water. Once out of the water, it climbs up a tall tower with an extremely smooth surface. Nonetheless, it manages to climb all the way to the top, even as the tower begins to shake. Once on top, it rings a bell and completes the course.

Pikachu cheers, "Pika! Pika!" and claps for it.

Brock asks, "Why do you think it is that those Pokémon can withstand just about anything?"

Arianna shrugs. "I don't know. They're certainly a wonder of the Pokémon world though. Some scientists even say that they could survive a mass extinction event, like what wiped out the Fossil Pokémon. Others even say they already have." She pauses. "One thing's for sure, there's no other Pokémon that I'd want more to have my back." She smiles, as she thinks something to herself. "In fact, I don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for them."

Ash asks, "What do you mean by that?"

"It all goes back to when I was a kid." A flashback begins. "I don't know how it happened, but without any warning, my house started burning and I was trapped inside. My parents tried to get me out, but the fires had spread too fast and blocked their way to me."

The young Arianna is shown huddled up in the corner of a room, crying in fear as the flames approach her. She cries, "Somebody help me!"

"Never in my life have I been more terrified than I was on that day." But then, a small silhouette appears in the fire, and out of it marches a Tardiguard. "I don't know where it came from, but a Tardiguard emerged from the fire and saved my life."

Young Arianna looks quizzically at the Tardiguard and asks, "Doesn't the fire hurt you?"

The Tardiguard shakes its head, and turns around to face the fire. With a Water Gun, it creates a path through the fire. It looks to Arianna and encourages, "Tardiguard."

The young girl musters up all her courage and nods. "If you can walk through the flames, then I can go through what you've put out. I'll be brave." She follows the Tardiguard as it continues to create a path. The flashback ends.

Arianna looks over to Tardiguard A, who is milling about at random, as Tardiguard do. "I gave the Tardiguard my favorite red scarf as thanks for helping me. One day I realized that just as Tardiguard saved me, it could save others, so we agreed to do just that. Over time, we met with other Tardiguard, and the Tardiguard Squad was formed." She stops and watches for a moment, seeing all the Tardiguard moving around aimlessly. "They look so clueless on the surface, but deep down, they really do care about helping others. Even after working with them for years, they never cease to amaze me."

Suddenly, alarm klaxons begin to blare. Brenda, startled by them, shouts, "What's that!? What's going on!?"

Arianna blows her whistle. "Tardiguard Squad! Form up! There's an emergency!"

The Tardiguard immediately end their purposeless ambling and form into a line, ready for duty.

Ash says, "We'll go to. We want to help any way we can."

Arianna nods. "Thanks, we'll gladly take it." She blows her whistle again. "Move out, squad!"

It's Reshiram!

A building in the city is ablaze. With another blow of Arianna's whistle, the Tardiguard go right to working at quenching the flames. Ash and Brenda join in with Dashilisk and Kappaqueous again. All things considered, the fire was relatively small, and is gotten under control fairly quickly.

Arianna observes the building skeptically. "Two fires in one day? That's very unusual."

Brock asks, "Are you suggesting this isn't natural?"

"I don't know, but we've never had to deal with two completely separate fires in one day before, it's very strange."

Brenda says, "I think all that matters is that we put it out and nobody got hurt."

Arianna nods. "Yes, of course." She blows her whistle again. "Form up!"

The Tardiguard line up in front of her. Arianna is about to say something else, but she is interrupted by a net that drops from above. The net wraps around the Tardiguard, and then yanks them upwards. Everyone looks up to see that the net has come from Team Rocket's balloon.

Arianna shouts, "What's this!?"

Jessie appears to declare, "Prepare for trouble, there's no one to save you now!"

Then James. "Make it double, only our victory, we allow!"

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all people within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth, that's right!"

"Wobbuffet!"

"Mime mime!"

Having finished the motto, Jessie laughs. "Ha! I knew you twerps would come running with your Tardiguard if we set the right bait!"

James declares, "We caught you, hook, line, and sinker!"

Ash's eyes widen as he realizes what they mean. "You set this fire, Team Rocket!? People could have gotten hurt!"

Meowth plays it off, "Oh calm down, we knew you wannabe heroes would never let that happen." They all leap back into the balloon's basket. "And now it's time to take our leave with our newest prize." The balloon begins to fly away.

Arianna shouts, "Oh no you don't!" She begins to chase after the balloon, but in her haste, she doesn't notice an unsteady beam of wood hanging from the burnt building. As she passes underneath it, it falls onto her, landing on her leg. Arianna shouts in pain.

Ash, Brock and Brenda run over to her. Ash shouts, "Arianna! Are you okay?" They help push the beam off her leg.

Brock asks, "Can you move it?"

"I think so." She winces in pain as she tries to. She looks up to the sky, in the direction that Team Rocket flew off. Her fists pound the ground in frustration. "How am I supposed to save my friends now!? I have no team and a bad leg!"

A nearby voice cluelessly announces, "Tardi, tardi."

Everyone turns around to see the yellow-scarfed Tardiguard climbing up a nearby wall for no particular reason. A wave of relief washes over Arianna's face. "Tardiguard E, you beautiful, beautiful creature! I should have figured you wouldn't have been standing with the rest when they were taken." She tries to get back up, but quickly falls again.

Ash shakes his head. "No, even with Tardiguard E, you're in no shape to move. Let me go after your team. We'll get them back."

Arianna looks Ash in the eyes for a moment, and then nods. She pulls the whistle off her neck and tosses it to Ash. "Take this. As long as you blow the whistle before you give a command, Tardiguard E will obey." She pauses. "Assuming it feels like it, at least."

Ash puts the whistle around his neck and nods. "We'll get them back, don't worry."

Brock says, "I'll stay here with Arianna and see what I can do about her leg."

Brenda says to Ash, "I guess that means it's just you and me."

Ash nods. "Let's go." He blows the whistle. "Come on Tardiguard E, let's go save your teammates!" He, Pikachu, Brenda, and Tardiguard E run off.

Outside the city, Team Rocket seem to have set up some sort of fortress or bunker. They obviously have no care about remaining covert, as the Team Rocket R is glaringly painted on the wall and roof. Inside, Team Rocket watch as the Tardiguard amble about at random, seemingly oblivious to their situation.

Jessie pokes one of them as it passes by. Due to its squishiness, it's skin is indented in by her finger, and then slowly returns to normal once she lifts it. Jessie squeals, "So cute!"

James is a little dismayed by their random movements. He's trying to count them, but keeps losing count. Mime Jr. mimics his motions of pointing them one by one, shaking his head when he loses count, and starting over. Finally, he asks, "Hey guys, weren't there five Tardiguard? I'm only counting four, and I'm pretty sure I've counted enough to be right."

Meowth shrugs. "Eh, what's one missing Tardiguard? The Boss will pay us all the same."

James nods. "Good point."

Meowth adds, "And here in our Super-Mega-Impenetrable Fortress, there's no fear of any untimely twerp attacks. We've won this day."

Jessie looks at a security monitor and says, "Speak of the devil…" Ash and Brenda can be seen on the screen running up to the fortress."

Meowth proclaims, "It doesn't matter. Our defenses are too strong. No way they'll make it through."

Ash and Brenda stop in front of the fortress' front door, emblazoned with the Team Rocket R. Brenda asks facetiously, "Huh, I wonder where Team Rocket is?"

Ash says, "The real question is, how do we get in?" He tries to open the doors, but they don't budge.

Brenda observes, "They must be locked from the inside."

Ash nods. He looks around, and then notices an air vent above the door. "Hey, I bet Pikachu could fit in through that air vent and into the duct system to get inside. Then once he's in there, he can unlock the doors."

Brenda nods. "Yeah, that could work."

"Want to try it, Pikachu?"

Pikachu affirms, "Pik."

Ash pulls the grate off the vent and gives Pikachu a boost into the duct. Pikachu quickly comes to a halt and calls back down, "Pika chu pi."

Ash takes a step back for a better view and notices what Pikachu is referring to. Crisscrossing the duct are an array of lasers. "Drat, there are security lasers. They would hurt Pikachu if it tried to get through them. Get out of there, Pikachu." Pikachu jumps down into Ash's arms. "What do we do now?" He notices Tardiguard E has wandered off towards a nearby tree. "Tardiguard! That's it! Tardiguard E should be able to make through those lasers without getting hurt."

Brenda nods in agreement. "If it can walk through fire, this should be a piece of cake for it."

Ash blows the whistle and commands, "Tardiguard E, infiltrate this building through the air ducts and unlock the door from the inside."

Tardiguard E springs into action. It climbs right up the wall and into the duct. It passes through the lasers without hesitation, not bothered by them in the slightest. A few moments later, the door slides open, with Tardiguard E waiting on the other side. "Tardiguard."

Ash grins. "Great job, Tardiguard E!" He and Brenda run inside.

In the control room, Team Rocket watch with shock as Ash and Brenda enter the room. Jessie demands, "How is this possible!? Those security lasers were supposed to stop this kind of intrusion!"

James points out Tardiguard E on the screen. "It's the missing Tardiguard! It must have been able to get through the lasers!"

Meowth, still sounding cool, calm, and collected, says, "Chill out, guys. They've only made it past our first layer of security. There are many more where that came from."

Ash and Brenda run through a long corridor, but are suddenly forced to stop when the floor before retracts to reveal a long vat of boiling acid blocking their way. Brenda points across the vat to a control panel on the other side.

Ash nods, and blows the whistle. "Tardiguard E, drain that acid!"

Tardiguard E hops right into the acid and swims through it as if it were water. Once on the other side, it climbs up the wall towards the panel, and bumps its head on a button. The floor returns and Ash and Brenda run across and into the next room.

Jessie and James are even more shocked. Even Meowth looks a little worried. He begins to enter more commands into the control panel.

In the next room, Ash and Brenda are faced with spike-covered walls, which continuously close in like a trash compacter and then retract, not leaving enough time to run through it without being impaled. At Ash's beckoning, Tardiguard E troops ahead, squeezing itself through the small gaps in the spikes whenever the walls come together, and makes it to the other side in order to stop them with another control panel. Ash and Brenda can now cross safely.

The next room looks completely harmless. Brenda says suspiciously, "I don't know…something tells me we're not out of those traps yet."

Tardiguard E steps forward, and triggers yet another trap. A segment of the roof slams down on top of it, seemingly squashing Tardiguard E.

Brenda shouts in horror, "Tardiguard E!"

The segment of roof rises again, revealing a cartoonishly flattened Tardiguard, but it quickly pops back into its proper shape and strolls on as if nothing happened.

Brenda breathes a sigh of relief. "They really can survive anything."

Ash nods. "Good thing, too. Who knows what we would've done without it?"

Tardiguard E once again renders the room safe to move through and Ash and Brenda move on.

Jessie and James have entered panic mode. Jessie shouts, "The twerps are right on our doorstep! They're just one room away from us!"

James cries, "I can already feel our wealth slipping away!"

Meowth refuses to give up. "No, there's still one obstacle if they want to get in here. There's only one way to open the door, and it's a completely unobvious secret. The only way to get in here is to know exactly what that way is. We're still safe."

Ash and Brenda approach the final door, but see no obvious way to open it, just as Meowth suggested. Ash attempts to pry open the door, but it's no use. He asks, "What are we supposed to do to open this?"

Brenda shakes her head. "I don't know, but there must be some way in." She feels around the edge of the door, looking for some sort of switch or button.

Meanwhile, Tardiguard E has begun to wander again. It's climbing up a wall behind Ash and Brenda. Once several feet up, its foot compresses a panel, and the door slides open.

Ash looks from the opening door, and back to Tardiguard E, seeing the compressed panel. "Great job, Tardiguard E, you found a hidden button!"

Through the door, Team Rocket can be seen, sitting with absolutely stunned looks on their faces, especially Meowth.

Ash sees the rest of the Tardiguard Squad in the room ahead and blows Arianna's whistle. "Tardiguard Squad, form up!" They rush to Ash and stand at attention. Ash looks once more at Team Rocket, and gets an idea. He blows the whistle again. "Use your Water Gun and soak the room!"

The Tardiguard all begin a serious hose down of the entire command room, getting everything, including Team Rocket, completely wet.

Jessie, whose hair has been ruined by the water, demands, "What is the meaning of this!? You've ruined my hair!"

James adds, "Yeah, if you're going to fight us, at least focus on us!"

Meowth yells, "And your water is ruining all the equipment!"

Ash smiles. "You won't be needing this equipment anymore." He's satisfied with the job the Tardiguard have done. "Pikachu, fill the room with Thunderbolt!"

Team Rocket widen their eyes as they realize what's coming.

Pikachu leaps forward. "Pikaaaaaaa chuuuuuuuuu!" Pikachu's electricity is conducted to every part of the room by the water. All at once, the entire room explodes, sending Jessie, James, and Meowth skyrocketing upwards.

They shout, "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" and disappear into the sky.

As Ash and Brenda exit the now destroyed fortress with the Tardiguard, they notice Brock and Arianna approaching. Arianna has her leg in a cast and is being supported by Brock. She shouts, "My Tardiguard! They're alright!"

Ash nods. "We were able to save them from Team Rocket, and it was all because of Tardiguard E. It saved on a couple occasions."

Arianna chuckles. "Imagine that, Tardiguard E actually managed to stick to a mission for once."

Brenda chuckles too. "I don't know if that's how I'd describe it, but it doesn't matter."

Arianna looks to them. "Thank you so much. I would have been so lost without my Tardiguard. They mean the world to me." She smiles. "Now, I believe I still owe you all dinner. And, I'll tell you what. You're all welcome at the Tardiguard Station anytime you want. You're all honorary members of the Tardiguard Squad."

Ash, Brock, and Brenda all laugh together at this.

And so today our heroes rescued a rescue squad of Pokémon. How poetic. They seem to have made some new friends too. And when you're in a pinch, what's a better friend to have than a Tardiguard?

Brock suddenly shouts in shock, "Something's on my back!" He turns around to reveal that Tardiguard E has climbed up onto his back.

It blissfully declares, "Tardiguard!"

Everyone laughs at Brock and the Tardiguard.

To Be Continued…