there's a moment in everyone's life
no wait
there's only momentum in everyone's life
this still is not working, let me do some gliding
(ray is currently gliding around his apartment complex, looks like a fuzzy hang-glider that can't quite catch the air currents, he comes back panting)
Let me just say that I don't feel good about the past
and the future is staging a comeback
where I write that book
about the robots
the real truth
god what does that mean the real truth
is that all a poem is trying to do
signify the generalizations
until the reminder fits better?
I just wanna talk about
the nightmares
and the electric eyes
and the master emerald
I saw the truth in that
and then it left me like a scam
see the truth and then never again
I can't even recreate my own memories.
Can you?
Some of us weren't meant to be writers
and the more we toiled
the more we realized we were critics
who thought people needed to know our opinions
and sleeping at night is easier
knowing I don't have to be your companion
or feel guilty for not smoking with you
or kissing the ashtray that is your life
You keep seeing me at my worst
and you say the freaking doesn't bother you
nothing a few pills won't eventually fix
or a drink when that's disavowing and not allowed
and a door hanger around my neck
saying do not disturb, cleaning in progress
took me with you to the conference
and we spooned in the hotel
and I took a bath at 4am
with all the lights out
so my brain could make colors
so I could feel like I was on some other drug than the current drugs
so call that inertia in my life, a dumb golden yellow dumbass
who thinks he knows things, but is on the verge of shaking apart
is the conference over yet
are you still smoking outside Mighty
There's a moment in everyone's life.
(Ray is now watching cartoons on the television, knowing he'll never write that novel, but it's okay, he tried and he's got the cartoons at the very least for now)