Flashback 1/2: The Elephant in the Room
October 1999
Watching his black billowing robe in front of her increasingly melt with the darkness of the dungeons, she retreated to her own pace. The young woman had no intention holding his anyway and should he feel the urge to hurry, she did not, especially since her body didn't really allow her to anyways. This mess was not her fault. Well, it was somehow since she had provoked some kind of punishment in the first place, but it was certainly not her fault that the school staff only used two disciplinary measures, the pedagogical usefulness of which she highly doubted. Let them taste their lack of progress themselves now, Hermione thought to herself despite knowing that they had more pull in the end. Until then, however, she would enjoy her little resistance, even if it passed unnoticed to anyone else but her.
Getting increasingly lost in some sarcastic thoughts, which she evoked on purpose to prevent herself from feeling hurt and giving them the satisfaction of having this power over her, she nearly ran into her professor.
"Have you known me for being lenient towards dawdling?" the dark man growled, while towering over her.
Hermione bit back a comment on how he could feel free to assign detentions to her, but didn't want to push her luck too far. Some part of her mind didn't think it at all absurd that the teacher trio she was about to face would indeed conspire to make her a case of body-nowhere-to-be-found.
"Sorry, Professor, I cannot hold your pace."
He snorted at that.
"Of course. I wonder how I could forget that you're the one student being advanced in years," he rolled his eyes at her, "I suggest training a little or you'll be lost by 25."
"It's a disposition that needs time rather than training, but I'll do my best to not lose sight of you again," she answered calmly and Professor Severus Snape, who surprisingly didn't manage to hide that he knew immediately what she referred to, simply turned around and started walking again. Slightly slower this time, she recognized.
"Minerva, Lupin. It's always a pleasure to witness two colleagues enjoying some quality time together," Severus sneered with feigned joy at the headmistress and her deputy upon entering the headmistress' office. Hermione came to a halt directly behind him and decided not to greet before they would shift their attention to her. "I would be even more pleased if this weren't at my expense. Being the ever-friendly colleague myself, I'm willing to interpret the unconsenting decision about my leisure time as a slip in attention on your side. After all something like this would have been a stark level of interference even from Albus," Severus said, but didn't even glance at the portrait in which the late headmaster sat and watched. "I herewith hand the duty for a certain uncomfortable task assigned by you back to you," he finished, but still didn't move to integrate the young woman behind him.
"Severus, I'm sorry, I was at a loss of what to do and couldn't find you. And since I know how much you normally enjoy educating students within detentions, especially Gryffindors, I took the risk," Minerva McGonagall explained herself.
"You were at a loss of what to do? You assigned those detentions in the first place! And next in line to supervise them would have been Lupin as her head of house. Enlighten me Minerva, will you?" Severus moved further towards her desk and folded his arms menacingly in front of his chest. Only now the other two became aware of Hermione's presence as well.
"Oh, Hermione, you are here, too. I thought Severus had you staying in the dungeons," Remus Lupin stated, obviously irritated by her presence.
Since they addressed formally in class, should the need arise to address each other at all, the use of her and the potions master's given name came unexpected for said woman and besides showing how effectively he had avoided private contact with her during the last two months, it also reminded her of their former closeness and of how Minerva also recoiled from it. Hermione had never been informal with Severus out loud, but amongst the other order members they had agreed on familiar address. While musing wistfully about this, Hermione simply looked through them.
Severus, however, was close to seriously snapping now.
"She's got no business there, which is why we are here-, if you cared to remember."
Hermione tried to examine the scene before her from a nonparticipating perspective. She mustn't lose control over her emotions since this would surely result in a panic attack accompanied by Crucio-related seizures and Burning-scar agony, which she didn't want any of them to witness. She would be helpless in their presence and that was an unbearable thought, meanwhile even again regarding Severus.
"I misjudged my free time. Some administrative work came in from the ministry that needed and still needs seeing to and Remus is helping with regard to the evaluation of his Gryffindors-," Minerva offered.
Severus looked from Minerva to Remus.
"Of course-," the dark man said very slowly.
"We should have asked you in advance, but we had no chance, Severus," Remus weighed in.
"For Merlin's sake, Severus, use her for chopping potions ingredients. It would be a win-win-situation, she is-," was as far as Minerva came before Severus interrupted her harshly.
"I am not in the habit of using students in any way, Minerva, and my ingredients are currently all seen to thanks to an incredibly large number of misbehaving Gryffindors lately," he snarled.
Hermione meanwhile gazed at the portraits on the walls, which were all occupied. No former headmaster had the decency to leave, while she was being humiliated. Her glance stopped at the frame of the late headmaster Albus Dumbledore, who held a sympathetic gaze and looked indeed sad when he twinkled at her. The realization that at least the portrait assessed her differently felt oddly nice. Maybe he should supervise her detentions, she mused shortly before her attention focused back on the verbal battle between her living professors in the room. It would have been funny to witness how they were all dancing around the elephant in the room, hadn't said elephant been their common dislike of her of all things and that Minerva had gotten carried away by assigning two weeks of detention that she now didn't want to supervise. Hermione again longingly glanced at the sympathetic portrait and on a whim nodded a goodbye, turned on her heels and headed for the door.
"Miss Granger, although we are still discussing them, you are nevertheless in detention and we didn't dismiss you," Minerva called strictly, "so come back this instant!"
Hermione turned around and saw the three of them staring at her in disbelief. Granted, no student very likely had ever dared this before, especially not when the dark potions master was involved and she was aware that this would have an adverse knock-on effect, but since they all used to be allies and united in their fight against evil, this whole situation was unbearable and Hermione's nerves were on edge.
"As far as I understood you are not discussing my detentions, but who is to supervise them. Since I'm close to being spoiled rotten by all the appreciation, I thought I rather go for disappointing by denying my presence to all of you and choosing option number four instead, which is Mr. Filch. He'll surely love the prospect of hanging a disobedient student by their toes from the ceiling- or whatever he does with them these days. However, I trust I've lived through worse."
She believed to have heard Severus growl. Or maybe she was mistaken. He wouldn't growl, would he? He, however, didn't look pleased.
"Hermione," Remus now growled indeed like the werewolf he was, "this is really inappropriate. I-," was as far as he came before he was stopped by Hermione.
"I prefer to refrain from evaluating the touchy subject of inappropriateness. I trust, however, that I offered a convenient solution for all of you. I admit to exceed my competences, but I have homework and general preparations for classes that need to be seen to as well, so I'd like to get over with detentions as fast as possible if you don't mind."
Turning again she started a second attempt to head for the door.
"Miss Granger, you are behaving outrageously. What, in Merlin's name, are you thinking? This will not go unpunished," Minerva now added sternly with a scowl worth the potions master.
Portrait-Albus unexpectedly cleared his throat.
"My, my, Minerva," he stated with fatherly disappointment.
Before anyone else could react, Hermione took her chance albeit realizing that this likely was stupidly daring.
"Of course you are well within your rights to punish me. I'd refrain from more detentions though. There simply isn't enough of me available to satisfy the desire of all three of you to spend time with me," she said sarcastically and knowing well that this was her last step to complete her social suicide, but she couldn't stop herself, "but I trust Gryffindor has house points left for you to take- or rather for Professor Snape." Gesturing at Remus and Minerva now, she continued, "Would you flash for taking them, none of us would have to be here right now," she finished affronting them.
In the firm belief of being expelled by tomorrow morning, she left the office and went straight down to Mr. Filch's office, hoping they wouldn't follow her.
o.O.o
"Good evening, Mr. Filch," Hermione stated carefully with her head ducked, "May I come in?"
He was surprised, not positively though, "What is it? Broken something that magic cannot repair?" he asked acidly.
"No sir. I wonder if there is anything to do for a student serving detention."
"I have no note of one to serve their detention with me, girl. Better be off and ask your professor," he said dismissively.
Hermione took a small step into his office.
"I kind of forced myself on you, to be honest. I- ahem, I got a fortnight of detentions, but three teachers refused to supervise them and I kind of snapped at listening to their subterfuges. And then I told them, I'd rather choose you. You kind of just came to my head. Now, I'm sorry. I know you don't owe me anything, but could I maybe stay for tonight? I could scrub all the lavatories," she offered.
Filch was aghast and very obviously so.
"A fortnight? Why if they don't wanna put up with you?"
"Because I'm Hermione Granger-, and it was originally a fortnight, but I trust I'll only bother you tonight. After my speech, I'm surely expelled already, but hope dies last so I don't want to provoke further by skipping my first scheduled detention."
Now she started to feel slightly sick at the prospect of not getting her degree. She would get by without it and retreat to the Muggle world, but her NEWTS had been her dream ever since she had started here at Hogwarts at the age of eleven.
"I know who you are. Still in disgrace then, huh?"
Hermione pressed her lips together and nodded. Disgrace was euphemistically put, but she kept silent.
"Unfairly so, when asking me. You were braver than the lot of them, I was at your trial," he said and appraised her. "No hanging from the ceiling by your thumbs for you, girl. Lavatories though. I hate those. Filthy kids, as if they didn't get proper potty training," he muttered.
Hermione hadn't expected him to be sympathetic to her, but he was, somehow at least. This filled her with gratefulness. Filch gestured to the equipment and told her which lavatories needed cleaning – all of them apparently. Great, but this was more to her liking than options one to three were.
.o.O.o.
"Of course I don't hurry. Students normally don't come willingly to scrub toilets and everything she doesn't finish needs to be seen to by me."
Hermione heard Argus Filch before he and his obvious company entered the lavatory.
"Here we are, headmistress," he said on entering.
"Thank you, Argus," Minerva said stiffly, "Accio wand," she added immediately.
Hermione had faintly wondered what menace she hadn't recognized in here and was too surprised to react when she recognized her wand flying over to the headmistress. She froze to the spot, which meant that she leaned over one of the toilet bowls, her hands occupied by a cloth and a toilet brush. There was certainly no threat in this. And as this dawned on her, she knew that she was in for something else and that she might really be in danger. Her hands and neck got clammy. Fear threatened to overwhelm her. She was at Minerva's mercy. Hermione prayed for the relaxation potion to keep working.
"Follow me, I've made a decision," the headmistress commanded.
So it was just her then, the younger woman mused. This surely lowered her chances of seeing the morning. Slowly Hermione nodded.
"Hurry! It's getting late," the headmistress insisted, but Filch intervened.
"Swipe over the back wall and the seat afterwards at least and pack the stuff together. I'm not going to crawl from cabin to cabin in case I find something's missing. I want my utensils back completely," Filch snarled at Hermione and then turned to the headmistress, "Here's the key, headmistress. You can already go to my office and have a seat. I'll walk her."
Although having been disarmed already, Hermione moved as smoothly as possible to not provoke Minerva. Anything was to be expected, given that there hadn't even been a previous announcement for the disarming. By now, Hermione was quite sure that this was the moment, which she had anticipated to come one day. And due to her drained magical core she was more than just quite sure that even with her wand she wouldn't stand a chance against a powerful witch like Minerva McGonagall.
"I'll wait outside. Two minutes. Hurry!" she ordered sternly.
Filch, it occurred to Hermione, had just tried to buy her time. Likely also a bad omen, given that he normally wasn't inclined to do students any good.
As the door closed behind Minerva, Hermione turned around with buckling knees and sank onto the toilet seat.
"You really pissed her off, girl," Filch simply assessed.
"Thank you for the last respite." It was probably better to thank him now.
"I don't know what you're on about," he growled.
She slightly twitched her lip.
"And no one ever will. I won't get to blab it."
He nodded in something that looked an awful lot like agreement to Hermione. Her heart sank even more. Something inside her had obviously hoped for encouragement.
"Don't dawdle!" Minerva reminded through the door.
Taking a deep breath, she packed everything together. At the door Hermione suddenly got overwhelmed by sentimentality and looked at Filch.
"Maybe it's asked too much, but, ahem, would you remember that I was indeed pacific here tonight?" she asked and quietly added, "I mean not to spread the word, just for my peace of mind-, ahem-," she sighed and shook her head at herself, "Forget I asked. It's nonsensical vanity."
Filch simply watched her with squinted eyes, when she opened the door to face whatever had been planned for her.
"Go ahead to Mr. Filch's office," Minerva commanded.
Hermione stood a second next to her and looked her in the eyes. No warmth visible. She started to walk in front of them both and after half a minute Hermione recognized that she was holding her breath, somehow awaiting the curse to hit her. Would Minerva do it with Filch to witness? Had he witnessed before? Was that why he had confirmed her assumption? Had something like this really happened before? Would it even happen? Was she overreacting? Severus and Remus weren't with Minerva. Was that good? Was she going crazy, kindled by the fact of the headmistress having disarmed her out of the blue while scrubbing toilets?
The arrival at Filch's office interrupted her babbling mind. Although she didn't want to be alone with the headmistress a very small part of her hoped he would stay behind. She didn't fancy having someone witness, who didn't have the power to intervene – he was a squib after all. Well, despite he somehow had seemed concerned he might nevertheless not have the wish to concede that much and such a witness would be worse. She had had too many of those moments during the war, far too many.
"Put the stuff down here. I'll sort it myself," Filch dismissed her.
"Good night, Mr. Filch," she greeted politely, "and thank you for having me."
He nodded at her.
"Thank you for your assistance Argus. It was much appreciated to take it on you to supervise her unplanned," Minerva said to him before addressing Hermione again. "We'll proceed to the main entrance. Go ahead."
Without a word they continued their walk, the door opened before them. The fear now tightened its grip on Hermione and she had some difficulty stepping outside. Behind the door there were no portraits to witness anymore. The third vial of relaxation potion of this evening, which she had drowned when she had left the headmistress' office wondrously still worked. The dosage would have sent any average person of her stature to sleep, but she was wide awake and, what was more important, in control of her body.
Outside she took a deep breath and on looking up at the slightly clouded sky she heard the slow steps of a second person arriving, Remus or Severus very likely. She wasn't inclined to find out. Better stop trying to figure out what was going to come. There was no changing their plans anyway and she was almost sure that she wouldn't beg them. Instead Hermione focused on the scenery before her, the wind was chilly and it rushed the clouds so the moon lit the grounds every now and then. She loved the castle and its grounds. This had become her second home during her first year. This was the place where she had found her two best friends with whom she had had a wonderful time full of dangers and life. She missed them and faintly wondered whether they would care at least a bit when she was gone for good or if her parents would. Before the crawling sadness would overwhelm her and likely render the potion useless, she told herself that it didn't matter since she would never get to know about it anyway. And strangely enough her focus, for whatever kind of reason, very easily shifted elsewhere: She deeply wished she could talk to Dumbledore to hear his opinion and to scream a demand at Severus to make him explain his inexplicable attitude ever since the "party" at Malfoy Manor. Merlin, she was obsessed with him and his behavior – likely because his was the only one providing a profound paradox.
The second person now stood behind her too.
"How long will you need, headmistress? Night duties need to be performed. It's well past curfew," Filch said.
Hermione was glad that it had not been her head of house or Severus. She felt betrayed enough already.
"I can do that tonight, Argus. I just need some more minutes here."
"I know you can. But now that I'm here and Mrs. Norris has decided to stroll a bit, I just wait 'til you're done and do my job. Then I'll be sure what has been done, if you know what I mean," he said unimpressed.
The tears that dwelled in Hermione's eyes were invisible to them since she hadn't moved. She wondered whether Filch had been ambiguous on purpose, but however, he surely rained on Minerva's parade. He undoubtedly had a talent there. She would have surely found it more amusing had she not the feeling of taking her last breaths in these minutes anyway.
On the grounds and out of the dark in front of them an equally dark man with longer black hair appeared – clearly Severus. She instantly felt sick and an intense tremble took possession of her. Wondering for how long the relaxation potion would continue preventing a full panic attack, she stared at the approaching man. To see her former hero in this scenario finally sent her over the edge and her fear now mingled with a profound sadness. She hadn't known that she obviously still had faith in him.
Minerva interrupted her thoughts by addressing her, but wasn't interested in being faced since she continued talking to her back.
"Due to the late hour I'll explain the details of your altered detentions tomorrow before class. However, you'll get an insight now as you'll go and clean the walkway surrounding the green from foliage. No curfew for you."
Hermione nodded, still with her back to them, but stopped listening at the details of where to find equipment. She knew that already from Hogwarts - A History. Instead she wondered if Minerva had just made up the story of altered detentions or if she had indeed planned to let her do them here and now.
"Start now!"
She nodded again and slowly convinced herself to step down the stairs very smoothly as to not provoke any of the two professors. Severus had nearly reached her now and the young woman literally swallowed bile and felt an urge to beg him, what for, she couldn't really define.
"Honestly Professor," Filch's grumpy voice said, "I expected a temper tantrum from her. I mean after what she has told me about her speech, but not such placidity. Students get stranger each year."
The old man had spoken loud enough for her to hear and right now she felt comforted by his presence. He had come here for her, he meant well as unbelievable as that may sound. Sadly Hermione couldn't see how flabbergasted Minerva stared at him, before Severus arrival distracted them.
Forcing herself to hold the dark man's gaze when they got closer and get her trembling under control, she went on steadily.
"Whatever your plans are, Miss Granger, in that direction better have your wand ready," Severus said when he passed her.
"No risk, no fun," she returned quietly and heard him mumble "Gryffindors" behind her.
She shivered when she had both teachers in her back, but steadily walked on without looking back. How strange was that? She had expected him to walk her into the Forbidden Forrest or something like that. But this nothingness? Or was he mocking her? Or was he not in on this and did mean nice? Her mind was blank and she couldn't make sense.
Had she looked back about three minutes later, she would have seen that the headmistress had retreated into the castle, while Filch and Severus stood together in front of the main entrance.
"I like it when they suffer for their misbehavior. But I prefer straightforward corporal punishment over outnumbering them and feeding deadly terror," Filch growled.
"Since when are you concerned about students? What did I miss, Filch?"
The caretaker snorted derogatively. "I don't care about students-," he nodded towards Hermione, "but the girl has suffered enough terror for a whole life. Disarming her for no reason and acting like a damn firing squad. Makes adults nervous," Filch muttered and turned around to pick up Mrs Norris, but Severus stopped him.
"Are you implying she has no wand?"
"I am. You're not in on this then, Professor?" he asked.
'No risk, no fun' it echoed in Severus' mind. Her trembling may not have been due to the coldness.
"I'll stay then. Good night," Severus said.
"Can I trust you?" he asked challengingly.
Severus arched an eyebrow at the caretaker, who stood no chance against a wizard anyway. As such, he and Hermione were in one boat right now. Severus realized that the grumpy man had really been genuine in his concern regarding the firing squad. What in Merlin's name had Minerva done and what had she been on about?
"It's my job to make sure they survive their stay," Severus returned and the old man retreated into the castle as well.
.o.O.o.
When it became more than obvious that her fight against the power of the autumn wind was a lost cause, Hermione sat down into the grass. It was tedious work and she was tired to the bones. For a couple of seconds she contemplated returning to her quarters, but didn't dare entering the castle again. Common sense told her that she very likely had been dead already had Minerva decided this to be her fate, but nevertheless, she felt uncomfortable. More than that actually.
From the corner of her eye she recognized a movement and then saw the dark potions master approaching her. Her trembling returned. She couldn't help it. Minerva's show had scared her out of her wits and she still didn't know what the woman had had in mind and if Severus was in about it. Before she was at least rather sure that at least he wouldn't want her dead, but right now she didn't know anything anymore. Chances were that she was only still breathing due to Filch's interaction.
When she realized that her legs didn't obey her, Hermione had no chance but to stay seated. She grabbed the grass in front of her to still her hands. The potions slowly stopped working.
"It's nearly morning. Go to bed. I understand you're having busy days ahead."
Looking up at him, she said, "I haven't finished yet, sir."
He looked around the greens, which were currently lit by the moonlight.
"It's autumn. There's no way to finish this before winter."
"I don't know what Professor McGonagall's rules for this are."
He now hunkered down closely in front of her and she flinched.
"You didn't listen to her, then?" he asked slightly amused.
"I was- distracted," she simply returned trying to hold his gaze. I tried to find a fitting prayer, she added in her thoughts.
"Get inside now," he commanded, while getting to his feet again.
"I cannot get up right now," she confessed quietly.
Severus firmly took her by the arms and planted her to the ground.
"Can you stand?" he asked without loosening his grip.
She checked shortly, nodded and he let go of her arms. They started to walk in silence and after the first couple of meters he slowed his pace until Hermione managed to hold his. By the time they had reached the porch the idea to step back inside frightened her already, but as soon as the air stream from inside reached her it really gave her the creeps. Without thinking she suddenly grabbed Severus' wrist, but let go in the same moment.
"Sorry, sir, I just- I- sorry," she stammered with terror in her voice.
"I'll walk you to your quarters," he said almost gently, ignoring her outburst. Severus knew that if he followed up that matter now, he would end-up hugging her to give her comfort. "Tomorrow morning you'll go to the headmistress to get your wand back," he added neutrally.
Hermione shortly assessed him wonderingly before nodding.
Her sinking fear level was visible to his trained eye and since he had now apparently convinced the young woman that he intended no harm, Severus walked rather closely next to her to ensure her of his presence. By the time they had reached her door he had himself equipped with a list of questions to the headmistress on this evening.