08 Basically the aftermath

02 January – 03 January 2000

This definitely was a special winter, the young woman, who seemed to be absorbed in watching the snowflakes dance slowly towards the earth, mused. She sat at the terrace door, leaning against the frame, cozily wrapped in a soft emerald-green blanket. She had come to like the Slytherin blanket and had already thought about sneaking it out to her quarters after the holidays. It was soft, perfect in size and fabric, it made her feel embraced and held since Severus had tucked her up with it, when she had fallen asleep on the sofa on Christmas Day. Slowly sipping her Earl Grey she was sunk in watching the snowy spectacle.

"Hermione?" Severus asked lowly-voiced after he had settled himself into the armchair by the fire but apparently without her noticing it. She turned around and locked eyes with him. The day before the dark man had realized in astonishment that he had come to like this reaction by her. His usual urge to stare down the one daring this was gone in the face of her plain and honest look that conveyed an unspoken yes I hear you and answer you, because I like to converse with you.

"I'm thinking about renewing my offer for Draco to spend the remaining holiday week here. I think he wasn't averse, but-."

"-Slytherins need to be begged," she finished his sentence.

He twitched his lip. "Right and I wondered about your opinion on this."

Being a quick thinker and having done immediately what she thought the math to be, Hermione tried not to give away her feelings on this. There were only two bedrooms in this house. Thus, Severus hadn't asked if she was okay with having the prejudiced and purposefully impolite snotty man here with them, but rather if she left him her bedroom and retreated to Hogwarts, her tent or Remus' flat, given that his offer was still on.

The young woman knew that the dark man didn't have enough of her – he was more than patient and relaxed – but she also knew that he felt an obligation towards the younger man, who was alone too and, as far as they had witnessed, not thriving at all.

Obtaining control over her emotions as the pain slowly spread through her was incredibly hard to manage. She kind of hadn't expected this to happen since it was only one and a half week ago that he had purposefully brought her here and prolonged his invitation towards Remus, convincing her about his wish to ensure her well-being personally. On an emotional level these two things were connected for her although she could also see that on an analytical one they could and should be seen separately. Maybe it was time to restore the order and have the Slytherins unite and the Gryffindors as well. It occurred to her that this was maybe the core meaning of the whole ring-scenario: pushing her out of the nest and giving her the safety that he would know when she emotionally stumbled and fell.

Severus, who had watched her vigilantly, now interrupted her thoughts.

"I'm hoping to convince him that Hogwarts is a chance for him and a way worth pursuing again."

He hadn't expected her to be thrilled at the thought of being housemate with a Malfoy, no matter her concern about him. These were two different kinds of shoes.

Hermione hoped her voice wouldn't betray her. "I think that's a good idea and very thoughtful of you. He knows you since always and respects you. As such you're the perfect fatherly figure for him. You should really do it!"

He nodded contemplatively. "It will be challenging. He'll make sure. And it'll be different from now," he weighed-in.

"You're able to manage that. You are Professor Snape, remember?"

"The change will be challenging for you, too,"

"I'll be fine. I've had so much one-to-one care and feel empowered," she assured the dark man all the while wishing she could believe her own words. Already now that she had spoken them aloud loneliness gripped her heart and made her shiver involuntarily. She was frightened of being on her own again with no one to turn to when a purring-dream or a full panic attack hit her and to be honest also of once again being of no interest to anyone anymore. Only ten minutes ago she hadn't been aware of how much she relied on Severus to have her back, to just be there and how young she felt indeed and still needed someone or someplace to belong to. All of a sudden she needed space. "I'll be in the shower," she said curtly and made to leave before her mask would crumble and show him everything.

"Draco has confirmed. He'll be here tomorrow," Severus told her when he had read the letter that came after dinner.

Be nonchalantly, Hermione told herself, you don't do anyone favor by being emotional now. He has laden himself with obligations and handles them in a responsible and appreciative manner. "Good to know he is reasonable. Chances for a return to Hogwarts are rising," she said. Hopefully he'll never know about how she felt about him replacing her here. That'll be more than welcome for emotional blackmail and immoral high-ground.

"When will he arrive?"

"He kept it vague."

"Sounds authentic," she nodded and kept herself from rolling her eyes.

"He used to sleep long so I trust there'll be enough time to arrange the bedroom tomorrow morning," Severus contemplated.

Suddenly it became clear to Hermione that she couldn't deal with seeing Draco move in and even more so, she could not sleep another night in that bedroom. She would leave tonight without much ado. It had been hellish since this morning anyway and Remus had told her where to find the key.

"I need to see to the potion," Severus announced when he heard the hourglass chime. Hermione nodded and looked after the dark man, who seemed as relaxed as always. Granted he had assessed her with some curiosity today, but never inquired her feelings again. It occurred to her that he hadn't even offered her to sleep on the sofa. Secretly she had hoped he would at least be a little moved by her departure. Well, no, she had expected it due to everything that had happened between them and she had wanted him to want her to stay here, because she had realized that she didn't just need someone or someplace to belong to, but she wanted to belong to him and here. She definitely was the needy part here, wanting to be liked and wanted.

She gathered herself slightly. "I'm upstairs packing," she said when he had reached the kitchen.

Upstairs she shrank her clothes to fit into the suitcase again. Winky had done this nicely before. Hermione now couldn't care less. She removed the linens, arranged blankets and cushions nicely afterwards. As it became increasingly hard to keep the sadness at bay she feared that the nervous breakdown she was about to have would be accompanied by a panic attack, which would only force her to stay and make things more awkward.

.o.O.o.

She didn't hear Severus arrive behind her. He obviously couldn't bother to knock.

"Would you have said goodbye?"

Hermione startled, but didn't turn around.

"Of course," she said shakily and was glad he didn't see her sudden tears.

"Good. Starting a searching mission through Britain in the middle of the night for my unexpectedly disappearing housemate isn't my idea of a relaxed winter holiday," he said lowly-voiced and maybe a bit angry, Hermione mused. She could feel him standing closely behind her.

"It would have been easy with your background and my limited options. But it's hardly unexpected, is it? I fail to see the distinction of me moving tonight or tomorrow.

Severus swiftly turned her around by her shoulder and she gasped, but managed to avoid his gaze.

"You are free to leave anytime, but I had believed you to be decent enough to provide at least short information in advance when you plan to move house at all," he said with clear disappointment and anger.

"What do you mean at all?" Her voice was high-pitched and she looked at him now, "Draco will need this bedroom from tomorrow on. And as much as I support what you do for him and have done for me, this sudden change is hard for me and I don't intend to have a breakdown in front of him tomorrow. I see of course how this irresistible ammo would likely guarantee his return to school, but I'm not willing to sacrifice the remains of my mental health for his career," Hermione said shakily and breathed hard, "Thus, please just let me leave tonight with the little dignity I still have left after this now-," she begged, nearly inaudible.

"This bedroom?- Your bedroom?"

"Please don't do this. There are just two, it's not funny." Her eyes brimmed with tears now. She didn't understand this whole situation.

"Funny? Do you have the impression that I enjoy myself? Honestly, there is a wide range of emotions to choose from right now. You stand here with your suitcase, because you believed that I had expected you to leave, that I would sacrifice you for Draco? And above all by implicitness," he said slowly and in his best teacher growl. He now even towered over her, before continuing, "No, I've not finished, yet. I bloody well asked for your opinion on this, woman! Why would I have done this, if it were to result in you leaving anyway? Why, Hermione?" But instead of waiting for an answer, he determinedly grabbed her hand and dragged her behind, while striding purposefully to the door at the end of the corridor. Severus flicked it open and shoved her inside. Looking around she saw that this indeed was a small room, which had some old furniture in it, but was generally clean and bright.

"This is the room that needs to be rearranged."

Hermione still looked around it and began to unravel their misunderstanding.

"But you-, you asked-,"

"I asked if you were okay with Draco, because you live here and thus need to put up with him, too. He has a house at least, he hasn't suffered the same as you and he isn't you. The thought of replacing one troubled student with another hasn't even once crossed my mind, because this," he gestured around, "is not about students, but about Hermione and Draco. The only two youngsters I'd ever offer to stay here at all. How negligent of me to have forgotten that you're a Gryffindor and need everything spelled out." Hermione absently noticed that he sounded positively agitated and really not like himself, but then her eyes widened at the realization that she indeed had gotten hold of the wrong end of the stick.

"I'm so sorry," her hand clutched to her mouth, "I jumped to a conclusion without asking." The shock was audible, but Severus was not inclined to make concessions now, since he needed her to understand about the extent and especially her part of their misunderstanding otherwise she wouldn't trust him fully again. This was straining for him as well, as he was working really hard not to let his hurt feelings get the better of him and to roar straight back into teacher mode.

He took another breath to calm down a bit. He knew about his effect and that he was close to spooking her. "Yes you, without asking. I would have expected the universe to explode before this would ever happen. Do I have to check you for curses?" he said less menacingly now. "Jumping to a conclusion based on what you've seen is likely more than could be expected from most Gryffindors, but after all we've been through since Christmas you also jumped to a conclusion regarding my behavior that you yourself told Minerva and Remus off for," he said in earnest and pierced her with his gaze.

The young woman felt slightly sick and folded her arms at the disappointment in his voice and the realization that he was right with it all. Having caused a disappointed Severus Snape was hard to bear.

"I didn't judge you like they, please believe me, sir. I just knew you've seen Draco growing up as your best friend's only child and sacrificed yourself for him and I found your urge to help him very healthy and supportable. And I knew Draco needs someone to belong to- and I already had my time with you. And you gave me the ring and if there was an emergency, I knew that you would still know. I-," she sobbed, "I knew what magic you can do with people if you dedicate yourself to it and Draco needs some of your magic, too." Severus meanwhile held the shaking woman by her shoulders, who gathered all her bravery. "Please forgive me."

"Have you quite finished?" he asked and resisted the impulse to hug her.

The young woman shook her head, which made him twitch his lip. "It was easier to wrap my head around my version than the one in which I rank highly just by breathing and disturbing your sleep," she really sobbed now, but suddenly her eyes widened and locked with his. "I do rank." It was a mere statement.

"You do," he assured.

"I do rank, I—everything you did. I know that," she said slightly shocked now.

"You do, both" he repeated gently and when she started to sob again, he hugged her to his chest and pressed a kiss on top of her head, "Of course you do, both."

"I'm so sorry, sir," she conceded.

"It's Severus. We both know that the sir-part of me is not even half as understanding," he said in his smooth voice, "or would ever admit that he should have expressed himself more clearly, especially with regard to your social experience of late, but none of us had ever anticipated such a thought to cross your mind at all in the first place. How about tea?

She peeked up at him before whispering, "Maybe I should leave anyway."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Oh woman, you're going to be the death of me," he took her hand and slightly dragged her along behind him, "Tea to calm down first and then we'll have fun designing a livable little third bedroom," he added and felt her hand suddenly also holding on to his.

.o.O.o.

An hour later they assessed their work from the doorframe. The room was still small, but cozy and the furniture tastefully hexed and colored in emerald and silver.

"I wonder how many intriguing brickbats he'll have for this room," Hermione said, while clutching the soft emerald blanket from the sofa possessively to her chest. It had been obvious that Severus had wanted to bring her up, but there was no way she would let Draco have it and she was close to hexing it scarlet.

"They'll certainly be a chance to educate ourselves further," Severus dead-panned.

"Well, the realization of having chosen to live amongst Muggles might distract him and buy us some time," she weighed in and they chuckled slightly, "I could easily move in here as well," she offered, which earned her an arched eyebrow, "I mean this would be counter-educational of course, but might buy us some peace."

He looked at her. "No, it won't unless he knew what an appalling living condition he averted in the first place. I see of course that you'd probably sleep on the dining table as long as you have that blanket," he nodded at it and she snorted, "but I see no way that any of us moves for buttering-up his spoiled inner ten year old brat. And I feel better having you near me at night. Back here I'd be tempted to leave my Patronus with you to make sure I won't miss you purring," the man mused aloud and pressed his jaws together at the recognition of the insight he had just given.

Awed by his concession Hermione didn't say a thing, just moved closer and leaned her head to his upper arm. The dark man relaxed very slightly and pressed a kiss on top of it. She then knew she would wear the ring.

.o.O.o.O.o.

"That's it! I probably bought more of everything than will be needed, but since I won't ever be able to return to any of Abe's shops, I wanted to make sure, we were on the safe side," she exclaimed on returning from her shopping trip. A movement in the farther armchair distracted her and she found herself unexpectedly locking eyes with a young man, who looked slightly better than some days ago, but still had way to go to return to his former healthy haughtily handsomeness. "Oh, Draco, I didn't know you'd be here already. How are you?"

"Granger," he greeted dismissively and deliberately not answering her.

Severus arched an eyebrow at his tone, but ignored it otherwise.

"What happened?" Severus asked Hermione.

"Neighborly grapevine, as expected. It boils down to me seemingly being very- determined and to likely shanghai you into marriage with dubious methods."

"Corresponds with the impression we gave," he agreed airily.

"Yuhuuh! Because you couldn't engage in the performance and made me look like I was forcing my physical presence on you," she laughed, "your body and spoken language were impressively incongruent. And now I'm having a questionable reputation as a stalker with a tendency to molesting older men,"

"Didn't we have fun?" His amusement was undeniable.

"Wouldn't have missed it for a thing! Ahem, if you guys want something special from the grocery shop, better go now or Apparate somewhere else. I trust by the afternoon you'll be congratulated on having a baby soon. I have a feeling of being pregnant by tomorrow morning," she said and chuckled.

Draco was clearly dumbfounded and starred at her, while she walked towards the kitchen to put sandpaper, oil and the food away.

"It's the traditional way to obtain a husband," Severus joined in, "Let me know when you know for sure."

"Oh daddy, I cherish your trust in me, but you are clearly overestimating my knowledge. If you want to know for sure, you'll have to go ask Abe's wife," she chipped in and they both laughed at that.

When Severus saw her starting to unpack the groceries, he intervened, "Leave something to do for us as well. We'll store everything after tea. Come and sit."

Severus' announcement on Draco having to do house elf chores let to a consternated expression on the younger man's face, which Hermione tried not to smirk at, but offered Severus a warm smile instead. "Do you have a cuppa left for me?" she asked on settling herself on the sofa and Severus Levitated it to her.

"What, in Merlin's name, are you on about?" Draco asked with insistence.

"Basically the aftermath of typical Gryffindor behavior – on assuming an urgent need due to snippets of overheard information, someone's inner lioness came out to impulsively engage in a saving-the-potentially-deserving thing they're so devoted to," Severus wisecracked mysteriously.

"I'm glad I asked!" Draco sarcastically commented, which made Hermione grin.

"We had fun in a café by leading some half-wits down the garden path regarding our- scandalous relationship and now the story is developing a life of its own thanks to gossiping neighbors," she explained and then glowered at Severus. "I shall make a mental note on not interfering again when you're socializing with such scintillatingly witty natives."

"Lucky me that such promise is doomed an empty one coming from a Gryffindor," he teased her.

"Then let's hope there is not so much Slytherin rubbing-off, especially seeing that I'm outnumbered now, huh?" she provoked.

"Don't you have a detention to serve?"

"I do, sir," she said overly dutiful and headed for the kitchen door. "Have you read my notes?"

"I've even commented them and the potion should work out fine," he said evenly.

"Thank you," she beamed at him, "I'm downstairs. Laters!"

Physically busy brewing her potion, her mind replayed the day and she realized that it had been a long time since she had had that much fun due to a spontaneous and ludicrous idea.

Severus joined her two hours later to check on her progress and get her for dinner.

"Is Draco very confused?"

"He's young, he'll recover," Severus dead-panned and they both grinned. "He has approved of his bedroom. Hermione-," he waited for her to look at him, "tell me if there are problems," he added.

"If I didn't get you totally wrong, you'd see," she said with a knowing smile. Severus waited until she looked at her work again before glancing at her hands. There it was on the thumb of her left hand. Although the finger choice was unusual, he admitted to himself that this felt good. More than that even. From the corner of her eye she witnessed his face relax into satisfaction.

"Did you advise him on this, too?

Severus arched an eyebrow at her. "It's Draco, we're talking about. Have you known him from hiding his contempt from anyone? Or trying to?"

"Indeed not, no," she sighed.

"Let's finish this. Draco's preparing dinner."

Struggling not to let her irritation show, but wondering how Severus had convinced him to do house elf chores and if it were safe eating the food without running detecting charms over it in advance, she kept cleaning her stuff.

"Perfect! I'll hurry. There's no need for you to help," Hermione assured him and when he looked reluctant she added, "I know your storing-system by heart and won't mess with it. Go enjoy some more male-Slytherin-only time," she dismissed him with a twinkle.

.o.O.o.

Hermione walked down the stairs into the cellar-lab.

"Are you alright?" he asked surprised.

"I just went into the kitchen to drink some water and heard you down here. Unforeseen nightshift?"

"Potionaholic. I'm nearly done."

Once again the notion of being naturally allowed to approach this normally unsociable man and witness him with his sleeves rolled up answering questions instead of snarling her into silence, amazed her. "May I help a bit?" she dared to ask.

Severus assessed her. She appeared slightly haunted, probably by a nightmare.

"I heard you had experience in cauldron cleaning. Is that right?"

"As it happens I do, in fact I'm a pro. But since this is really only thanks to my Potions master and his infatuation with detentions, I don't show-off with this skill in public."

Severus chuckled and turned to store his ingredients. Hermione Accioed the cauldron and started scrubbing by the sink, but when Severus returned he simply sighed, took the cleaning utensils from her and cleaned it magically.

"I'll look after the details tomorrow. And, Miss Granger, you may have been irritated by seeing me in my natural environment, but I was joking."

"I've learned not to mess with you in your natural environment and I might be slightly slow on the uptake right now," she grinned sheepishly.

"Smart girl and understandable at three in the morning," he grinned.

He shoved her upstairs, through kitchen and living room and up the stairs into the first floor. They came to a halt between their bedrooms.

"Thank you for the navigation. I would have been lost," she whispered to not wake Draco.

"I trust you manage to find the bed on your own?"

"I'll endeavor to."

She hesitated shortly, not fancying being alone again. This was ridiculous and pitiful, but the bedroom-misunderstanding had left its mark, she had dreamt badly and only just managed to breathe away the panic, and she admittedly liked Severus' presence.

"I'll check on you when I've finished in the bathroom," he said, well aware that she was struggling with something.

Sitting upright in bed she smiled overly proud at him when he entered.

"Well done! You're such a big girl!" he said as if talking to a three-year old, while flicking out the candle before bidding her good night.

She rekindled it.

"I'd like to leave it burning tonight," she said.

Severus closed the door from inside the room.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I'm just a bit touchy. I won't burn down your house, promised!"

He rolled his eyes at her. "That's a weight off my shoulders."

"Wou-? Good night," she stumbled over her words.

"I would," he answered lowly and on seeing the puzzled look she shot him, he continued, "I would do, what can't be asked for or offered conversationally."

"I'd really like that."

He lay down onto her blanket on the other side of the bed and Accioed a second one from the closet. Hermione extinguished the candle and Severus Muffliatoed the room. Draco didn't need to hear them in one room at night. After a couple of minutes starring at the ceiling, she gave up the fight, turned towards the man next to her and put her hand on his upper arm. Severus then put his hand over hers and stroked it softly.

"I'm aware that I'm crossing boundaries and of the inappropriateness. And I don't know why I say this now-, I-"

"Because we are establishing something like a tradition of boundary crossing lately and you feel like hearing my approval," he suggested and heard her hum. He continued in a whisper, "Envision the situation and read the signs. Let's not judge about appropriateness tonight. This whole arrangement is getting more surreal anyway and on more than one level."

"And apart from the obvious," she squeezed his arm gently again, "also the Malfoy in a makeshift bedroom in Muggle Manchester adds to it, doesn't it?" she asked.

Severus grinned. "Definitely. Who would ever believe students or anyone to search out my presence for recovery and emotional reassurance?"

The young woman bit her lip. The impulse to defend him was strong, especially as the memory of the shared lab-time immediately arose. When not in menacing mood, he had always had this aura of authoritative and considerate calmness, which spread safety in her mind. "Your profound presence is why I enjoyed brewing with you. There's a strength and deliberateness emanating from you, which is catchy.

Severus resisted the urge to hug her. "Most people would say it's calculation," he whispered.

"You're the only one knowing for sure. However, I did and still do find it reassuring— and Draco apparently does, too," she said before closing her eyes and enjoying the sensation of feeling welcome and safe when Severus started fiddling absently-minded with some stray curls.

Although not admitting it, Severus was well aware that the youngsters both offered just the same to him: the woman next to him by trusting him with emotional and physical proximity and the young man down the corridor by adding certain nuances to his challenging attitude, which could only be read by a Slytherin as the proof of trust they were. This definitely was an unforeseen quit pro quo and hopefully leading them all to another level of recovery.