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13 Valentine's week

14 February – 25 February 2000

Yes, it was Valentine's Day. Had the Great Hall been able to scream it, it wouldn't have been any more obvious. The decorations were tasteful though, but Minerva had proven her good taste with the Christmas decorations already.

Earlier than normal the hall was swept with owls, delivering love letters and small parcels to the teenagers, whose eyes very likely shone brighter than on Christmas Day. Hermione was astonished when there was a letter for her coming too; and a thick one at that. Now that it lay right above her plate she didn't touch it, just looked at the handwriting and instantly knew who it was from without knowing what to make of it. Merlin, she was lost for what to do now. A glance around showed that no one took notice of her. Why ever would they? They neither recognized his handwriting nor would it be strange to receive a letter as well. It was, after all, only strange for herself.

Hermione decided to eat a bite of her scrambled eggs, while watching the letter vigilantly. Soon she would have finished and a decision needed to be made on how to proceed further. Was it safe for her to touch it?

Miriam cleared her throat next to her. "Hermione, Jonathan sent me this. Jo-na-than--!" she was obviously over the top, her face totally flushed.

This direct approach had the ability to distract Hermione. She knew the girl's name and that she was a sixth year, but otherwise had no connection to her. "Oh, I'm happy for you! Did you send him something, too?" Hermione asked sociably.

"I did, but I don't know if he recognizes it being from me," Miriam returned slightly unsettled.

"Uh, don't worry. Otherwise you'll approach him later on, carefully of course, and then you'll see how he reacts. You are in advantage since you know, he sent you something. He's the one, who can only hope he hasn't misinterpreted your behavior," she soothed and it worked indeed.

The girl clearly fancied him so much that she couldn't think clearly anymore.

"You're brilliant! Thank you!" Overjoyed Miriam hugged the older girl to her and Hermione giggled with her and patted her back.

This felt like former school years, like normality, a bit like her time with Ginny. Whilst hugging, Hermione let her gaze shortly reach the Head Table, but the seat of the Potions master was empty. She could imagine how much he loathed witnessing all the love and despair bubbling out of the teenagers on this day, which made her grin even wider.

"Have fun today," Hermione said with a knowing smile and without further ado grabbed her letter and walked to her quarters.

The unobtrusive yellowy letter now lay on the table in front of her and she debated with herself whether to open it or not. There hadn't been a single try to converse with her for one and a half years and she dared not thinking about why he would start now. Hermione was quite sure that it wouldn't simply contain insults or threats. She hadn't seen disdain in his eyes a fortnight ago. On the other hand, she had received his present back together with the others and that was only about six weeks ago. Finally, it was time to leave for classes and thus the next chance to postpone reading the letter would present itself during lunch break.

.o.O.o.

"I know it's all hearts and flowers today," the Potions master started with an overly-sweet voice before snarling at them, "but I suggest contemplating what your chances for a proper date-night will be if you leave this class for the hospital wing due to missing limbs caused by inattentiveness. Thus, you may want to focus back on brewing; if not for your NEWTS then at least for the sake of love." Severus pronounced the last word with as much disgust as he could muster and starred down his pixies in the last row, because Draco had gotten carried away whispering justifications about the way he had decided to inconspicuously spend some time with Louis tonight.

Both had spent some days discussing steps Draco could, should or should not take to walk the thin line between officially maintaining the mask of heterosexuality, but not discouraging Louis. This has resulted into plans to go out on a double date, which had been settled during breakfast. Louis was going out with Becky Greengrass, but according to Hermione's observations Louis was very likely not interested in women and the two normally weren't close, so this might just be an alibi date. An hour ago, right before the letters arrived, Draco had asked out Becky's best friend, Alison Kruger. She was, similar to all Slytherin and quite a lot of Ravenclaw girls, interested in Draco, but also seemed to be shy enough to not aggressively go for him. Hermione had objected to this, but had only convinced Draco of being polite and obliging and to treat the subject of not being interested in her any further sympathetically.

Since Draco had asked for Hermione's opinion on Louis' reaction, she had changed her usual seat at breakfast for one allowing her to watch the Slytherin table. This, it had occurred her while having tea, was prototypical teenage love-drama behavior. But she could relate. Before Potion's class had started, she had been able to confirm that Louis had beamed at the prospect of an evening spent together, especially since Draco had managed to lock eyes with him while expressing his joy to Alison over their date; so much for inconspicuousness. Hermione had needed to bite her lip to prevent a grin when she had witnessed this.

"Of course, sorry sir," they said in unison and focused back on chopping.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw that Louis had turned around and assessed them, looking slightly incensed. Poor him, he was obviously confused now. When looking up at Draco she witnessed him winking at his fellow Slytherin with a calming smile. And for a second time this morning she needed to bite her lip at his not so inconspicuous inconspicuousness.

"No matter how many limbs you'll have left by tonight, you'll surely still be in for a comfort shag," Hermione whispered and made Draco snort.

"Miss Granger-, I expect an essay on why attentiveness in a Potions classroom isn't just optional under consideration of different danger levels by the example of relevant potions," Severus growled and pinched her with his gaze, "Mr Malfoy you'll join Miss Granger in cleaning your utensils by hand," he said lowly-voiced, the contained menace not to be ignored.

Oh dear, she hadn't expected Severus to become that angry on recognizing his favorite Slytherin just whisper and snort. It was, however, especially unsettling that it mainly fired back on her now. Although feeling remorse, she also wondered why he reacted that strongly. Well, at least he didn't bash them openly. According to Draco's looks he apparently felt something along that line, too.

.o.O.o.

They had wanted to apologize to Severus, but he had left the moment he had dismissed the class. Something told her not to push the man right now and since her thoughts unstoppably circled around the so far unread letter she had received this morning, she wasn't as bothered about Severus' behavior as she would have been only a day ago.

Later in the evening, Hermione was snuggled up in bed with the letter on her legs. She felt like throwing up. It was fear she realized. Fear of what might be written in this not so thin letter. With a deep breath she opened it and started reading. After having read it twice she let her tears flow freely. Why now? What had changed? It was mind-boggling.

Suddenly, she bolted upright. Was that possible? Could that be or was she going crazy? She wanted to find out immediately so she changed back into sweater and jeans and stormed out of her quarters.

On the rather short way to her destination she saw three couples snogging behind statues. She grinned at how busy the teachers would be later on.

Standing in front of the door, she hesitated shortly, she didn't even know if he was here, then she knocked.

"Enter"

Forcing herself to calm down she greeted, "Good evening, sir."

He was surprised by her appearance since he had expected Draco and her to spend the evening together after their show today.

"Practicing appropriate behavior, are we?"

He neither got nor looked up from behind his desk.

This was not good, Hermione mused, they had really annoyed him. Shit.

"We wanted to apologize directly after class, but didn't get the chance-," she closed the distance between them, "Severus-, I'm really sorry for having disturbed your class today. Admittedly, we were a bit over the top. But we'd never try to take advantage of you!"

Suddenly she felt like she really needed his pardon and when he finally looked at her she couldn't hide the plea in her eyes.

He nodded slightly. "Did you get the short end of the stick and must speak on behalf of team pixie now or can I expect Draco to be eating humble pie too later on?"

"I actually don't know, I came spontaneously. Although, he might really- I mean in case his alibi date were to go horribly wrong and lead to unwanted aftereffects, he might need some solace," she added and Severus looked confused at her.

"And your effort regarding this wouldn't suffice?"

"It's not quite that easy. I think offering him a drink against the school rules and having an old-fashioned talk from man to man wouldn't go amiss. I'm sure he could do with your approval of his situation. I mean not that he'd admit it, but- you know,"

He kept starring in confusion.

"You're not going to specify anything, are you?"

"It's really neither my circus nor my monkeys," she said in excuse.

Severus was slightly relieved that they had no date tonight, but this mysterious alibi-date-situation-approval thing unnerved him. He was after all not a family guy, not the fatherly or brotherly type and also not the man-to-man-talk type.

But he certainly was the jealous type. He occluded to shove those thoughts away.

"When your visit wasn't planned, what can I do for you?" He tried to sound invitingly.

"I have something private that came up today I'd like to talk to you about."

Severus sighed inwardly rather sure he wouldn't like what was coming.

"I have half an hour before I'll have to sweep the corridors for- overly ambitious couples," he said and made her chuckle, "Tea?"

"Lovely!" She beamed at him, which he liked enormously.

When they had both settled with their cups into his visitor chairs he gestured her to start.

"I received a letter today, which caught me off-guard."

"Only one? I had expected more secret admirers actually," he said awkwardly, instantly chiding himself for not letting go of his jealousy.

"Actually, they are queuing-," she answered.

"Then shouldn't you be in Hogsmeade now?" he asked.

At his snarky tone she smiled brightly.

"Severus-, I was kidding! Firstly, it's only important whom I admire and secondly, I am where I want to be."

She locked eyes with him despite knowing that she had been more than obvious just now regarding her emotions, but it was Valentine's Day and now that she sat here and talked to him she suddenly missed being with him more than before. The dark man, however, hoped he hadn't given away his astonishment.

Suddenly aware that she had given him enough reason to verbalize a rejection openly, Hermione continued talking.

"So, ahem, I received a letter and I only read it this evening. It's from Harry- and I just can't make sense as to why he wrote what he wrote," she tried to explain and looked at him a little helpless. And there it was! There she saw it in his eyes and her suspicion was confirmed. "You! It was you, wasn't it? You did- what you did-, didn't you? What did you do-?" she asked and impulsively got to her feet, aware of the salad that had just left her mouth, "Severus?" she added quietly.

He stood now, too. "I may have given some- impulses," he said carefully, unable to say whether she approved or not.

Hermione didn't know what to do with all the emotions inside her. When she had reached him, her hands came up, opened and closed again, while she starred at his chest. She needed grounding and her urge for contact grew, but she currently didn't know if hugging or punching were more appropriate. Finally, she placed both her hands to his chest, where she could feel his heartbeat. "Thank you- so much!" Her voice was low.

"I take it, the contents is to your liking?" he asked, unsure how to react.

"Whatever you did, is to my liking! And that's exactly why I prefer being right here instead of Hogsmeade with whoever," she stopped herself for a second, fully aware of the again not so subtle subtext and wondered where her bravery came from, "The letter, however, was apologetic, and thus- let's say a good start."

Severus heart raced a bit after her statement and he knew she could feel it with her hands on his chest. Busy wondering if he interpreted her hints correctly he had problems focusing right now. Were her hands to his chest together with her words to be misinterpreted? But what about Draco?

"Smart!" he said hoarsely, "I shouldn't have forgotten to tell you about it, though."

"Hmm-, I am currently not planning to form an opinion on your probably age-related forgetfulness. But assuming a friend would tell me about such an occurrence, I'd advise her to make totally clear to the interfering man that something like this must never be decided over her head again and that he at least should have asked in advance."

"I see it's probably very beneficial to me that you are not planning to form an opinion!"

Spontaneously taking her face in his hands he kissed her forehead tenderly and then let it rest against his, while his thumbs stroked her cheeks. Very close to her lips. Before she could stop herself she sighed with comfort and struggled not to kiss him or his thumbs, now that they were so intimately close with their noses brushing at each other. He smelled of herbs again. Suddenly Severus pulled her head to his chest and let his fingers softly massage through the curls. Merlin, I've nearly kissed her, he thought, my thumb had touched her upper lip. But she hadn't bolted, she still didn't. His mind raced.

"I'm sorry," he whispered over her head.

"I'm not." She tightened her embrace reassuringly.

"I don't mean my interference." He felt slightly sick.

"I know." Her thumb slowly stroked his back.

Severus was dumbfounded, but felt his emotional unease subside a bit. They indulged into their companionable silence and closeness for a minute.

"Drink your tea and then I'll walk you to your quarters. You seem exhausted and rumors say you're having extra homework," he smirked.

Hermione poked her finger into his chest. "I hope you won't find a single misbehaving couple-. No, wait! I forgot who I was talking to. I hope you'll only find adult couples sitting well-behaved in unambiguous distance next to each other reading potions books. Huh!" she returned and peeked up at him.

He laughed at that.

"Are you implying that I'd deliberately misinterpret situations to students' disadvantages?" He asked with as much indignation as he could muster.

She stared at him consciously wide-eyed.

"Oops, I'm afraid time for tea is up. It is getting late and I better leave now. You keep grading, I'm a big girl and able to find the way on my own. And you'll need the time in here to get mentally prepared for all the appropriateness you are about to face. Good night."

Severus still grinned when she closed the door behind her. It was unsettling, but now he wanted to kiss her even more.

.o.O.o.

The sun was definitely glaring too much, even through the library windows and it was unbearable for Hermione to keep her eyes open. Her head felt as if it was about to explode. Deep inside she knew that soon there would be no way to negate that she was indeed ill. However, she couldn't afford to be ill and give in to the tempting idea of lying in bed sleeping. She felt cold and slung her arms around herself in a fruitless attempt to warm herself a bit. She was aware that it wasn't cold; it was her rising fever that made her shiver. A glance over the desk proved that there still was so much to work through and to learn for her catch-up test with Severus. He had warned them to be prepared and she didn't fancy the idea of displeasing him and getting her daily detentions back early. Yesterday had already delayed her, since she hadn't felt her best then already and Draco's supportive part was missing as well since he fought a cold he had caught on his very worthwhile date night with Louis. Severus had used a very paternal voice, when he had hunted Draco down in her quarters and ordered him to stay in his own bed instead of spreading his germs over the school, which had magically worked on the astonished young man. Thus, Draco also wouldn't participate in the obligatory Friday-night test and she had to rely on her own knowledge. Although still early she made to leave, it would surely take her some time to get to the dungeons and she was quite sure that she should treat herself with another vial of pain potion and some water before she would arrive there. Food was out of the question, her stomach revolted already. Whatever she had caught wasn't just a cold.

At his office door she found a note saying that today's detentions took place in his classroom. She managed to arrive there in time and hoped to find him in a reasonable mood leaving hope for some mercy if she failed answering. Maybe chances weren't too low, given that they would be alone, but of course there was always the unspoken notion of Hermione and Draco to not take advantage of their special situation with the Potions master. This unsettled her a bit more than usual since she knew she was severely lacking knowledge today. She prayed for him not to be snarky and that he hadn't planned a practical part today. She wouldn't manage that.

"Good evening," she greeted hoarsely.

"Sit," he ordered sternly and gestured at a chair opposite his desk, which normally wasn't there, "Mr. Harris is about to finally finish and leave," he looked at Daniel, "stop gaping, hurry. You're wasting my time. I value my leisure time highly and obviously still have another detention to supervise." His gaze now rested on Hermione and without looking at him she recognised that he assessed her intently. When she settled into the seat she saw he was grading her extra essay and there were so many notes in green ink all over it that it became clear that his mood was not only far from relaxed due to Daniel's detention. And her lack of knowledge wouldn't make it any better. She felt even worse now.

A couple of minutes later Daniel had finally finished his cutting and shooting her a regretting glance, he left.

She looked at the mess on the table next to her. The most unpleasant part of the preparation still remained to be done. 'Measures will be taken' it echoed in her mind and she wondered if they looked like intestines-removal of slugs. Not tonight please, she prayed inwardly and willed sudden bile and tears back, while seriously thinking about admitting that she wasn't properly prepared. Somehow she didn't dare to straightaway disappoint twice in one evening, but hoped she would pass somehow.

Severus put her essay aside and tried to go for decent, "We'll talk about this- essay-attempt later. Ready to start?" he asked the frozen woman in front of him, who kept staring at his desk. He didn't need his spy instincts to know something was wrong.

"Yes sir" is what she heard herself say for no explicable reason.

After question five Severus admitted to himself that there was no use in asking further. He leaned back, folded his arms and wordlessly counted to ten before talking.

"I trust we could have saved valuable time and the discomfort of this fruitless question-and-answer-game had you just told me you weren't prepared."

"I really tried to be. I'm sorry, sir," she said weakly, while staring at his desk and feeling her exhaustingly held up facade slowly crumble.

She had mucked it up and annoyed him even more. Additionally, her pain potion now stopped working and her head again felt as if it was about to explode and rendered her unable to cope with Professor Snape. Silently she waited for his verdict and withstood the urge to beg for allowances for herself.

Severus eyed her. Already during their last class she had been unusually vacant and Severus had the suspicion that there was something wrong with her, which had just been substantiated by reading her rubbish penal essay on a more than undemanding topic, but within the last minutes it had become literally visible in the extreme. She was overly pale with deeply reddened cheeks. Concerned that she might faint out, he walked over to her and slightly tugged at her hand. It was hot. The young woman, however, was frozen to the spot and kept staring at the slugs next to her. With a flick of his wand Severus vanished them into a bin. They would make a nice detention task for someone tomorrow.

Only then she moved to look questioningly at him.

"Can you get up?" he asked and softly tugged at her hand again.

"What about the slugs?"

"I hadn't anticipated you'd want to spend time with them."

"I thought they-, I mean, what's my punishment, sir?" Her voice was unsteady

"There is none." He simply pulled her up from the chair.

"I don't understand. What about the test?" she asked confused when they walked towards the door behind his desk. Her knees menaced to buckle, her hands were clammy now and she instinctively clutched to his. Taking this as an incentive Severus abruptly turned around to press his lips on her forehead and she closed her eyes immediately. She was burning hot, thus indeed ill.

"The test is nothing to worry about. You're ill and need to sleep, come-," he said and started to walk again.

The firm gentleness of his voice let a sudden wave of relief wash over her and then everything went very fast. Hermione's hand went slack and in the same moment she dropped unceremoniously to the floor.

It had been quite some time, but once again he inwardly thanked the castle for having provided him with a direct entry to the infirmary via the hearth in his living room. When his loyalty had been accepted by Dumbledore, the castle had acknowledged his service by offering him direct access to medical aid for cases in which he returned from Death Eater summonses wounded.

The mediwitch approached them immediately when the wards had informed her from where a visitor arrived.

"Goodness, what happened Severus?" she asked when she saw his distressed face and who he was carrying.

"A private bed and Pepper Up. Now!" he commanded. "I've performed some spells, it's no curse and no poison," he added.

Poppy hurried to get the potion, while Severus carefully put the unconscious woman onto the bed. He removed her shoes and held her carefully up to do the same with her coat before pulling the blanket over her. The mediwitch watched his gentle movements with astonishment, but made sure he didn't notice.

"Where did you find her?" Poppy asked, while trying to find the reason for Hermione's breakdown and slowly pouring Pepper-Up potion into her mouth to stabilize her.

"I didn't. She broke down during a catch-up test." Severus went to join Poppy at the potions store-board to look for something suitable as well.

The potion worked its magic and on waking-up the young woman immediately tried to get up again. Poppy, who saw her moving from the corner of her eye, reacted first.

"No, sweetheart, stay put. You need to rest."

Hermione ignored her and shortly before she stood, Severus had reached her in two long strides and touched her shoulder.

"Lie down, you're ill," he commanded gently and tucked her up under the blanket again. Tears were running down her cheeks now and Severus sat down onto her bed. "Hermione, why are you crying?"

"How did I get here? I cannot remember," she said wide-eyed.

"I brought you, and only ten minutes ago. You broke down during revision in my office."

Her eyes widened even more when something dawned on her.

"I-, I totally mucked it up this week-, the essay and the prep work. I disappointed you- I'm sorry."

"It's all fine. You are just ill. Next time tell me. That's not taking advantage."

"But it was an extra essay already. I'm so sorry, I-," she sobbed weakly. Some part in her feverish mind was convinced he didn't see the whole picture.

"Hermione listen," he cupped up her cheek, "Even during Valentine's week my fear factor alone keeps students revising beyond reason. So it was obvious that there must be something wrong. You did not disappoint me, I'm not mad at you, it's all fine. I want you to sleep now."

The mediwitch silently stood behind Severus and watched the dark Slytherin gently taking care of the Gryffindor student. She remembered the day when he had added himself secretly to her emergency contact list and intuitively approved of this development.

"No, I have to learn-," Hermione said hoarsely and tried to get up again, but Severus softly pushed her back down onto the mattress, before finishing the sentence for her, "Because Professor Snape will make you into potions ingredients otherwise, right?," he stroked her cheek and she stared at him, "I promise to have a stern word with him, but only when you sleep now."

Poppy smiled at that. His hand at her cheek had given the level of their interpersonal development away and for some inexplicable reason her mind also approved of this straight away and thus she decided to give them some privacy.

"I'll be back with the results in a couple of minutes," she told Severus, who nodded without taking his eyes from the young woman next to him.

The potion worked some more of its magic and Hermione's eyes cleared in the course. She snuggled with her head to his thigh.

"Severus," she sounded fully aware now, which made some of his tension leave, "thank you for being so- you," she whispered against his thigh.

His heart melted and he stroked some sweaty curls from her face. "Most people would say I'm currently not myself at all."

"I know better. I'm not most people."

"Far from that actually," Severus conceded.

After having kissed her temple he watched her resulting smile with awe and waited for Hermione to fall asleep and for Poppy to return with the results. Another silent wave of gratitude washed over him when he recognized that this focus on Hermione had only been possible due to the fact that he and the mediwitch had a long history of mutual understanding and trust. She had always been the one to know about the real extent of his physical sacrifice for the cause and had seen and handled him when he had been most vulnerable and had never lost a word about it to anyone or had used it against him.

Thirty minutes later Hermione had been put in quarantine behind a medical veil, where she stayed for a week with a flu virus. Ignoring the scowling Potions master, the mediwitch insisted he stayed in quarantine in his quarters for 48 hours until diagnostic spells could safely verify that the virus wasn't spreading inside him as well.

.o.O.o.

Against expectations Remus showed up daily at the veil and towards the end of the week Hermione and he had sorted out the things, which needed to be addressed. As she had promised him in December, he got the chance to apologize for his behavior; however, he didn't get away lightly. The young woman insisted on details, embarrassing and personal ones, to ensure that they were on one level regarding their view on things and on what had been the problem and what exactly had been clarified and forgiven. This naturally involved an enormous amount of emotional turmoil, which Poppy didn't approve of in the face of Hermione's fragile state of health, but the younger woman in bed assured her that she felt indeed better with the knowledge of being able to finally draw a line by verbalizing, understanding and making herself understood to her former ally, who she once had valued so highly.

A lot of crying on both sides was involved, which was due to the circumstances physically inconsolable. One day, after the main breakthrough, Hermione was ever so thankful for Poppy's intuition to call for Severus under false pretenses to enable him to at least console her a bit by just being there for a couple of minutes. Sadly, even after his quarantine had ended, more extended visits were impossible since a case of quarantine inside Hogwarts drew quite some attention. Being famous for his antipathy of Gryffindors and additionally being head of the competing House of Slytherin, obvious concern would raise suspicions that might make her life more stressful. Severus thus only had the option to drop by shortly in his position as Potions master to have a short look and gather basic information on her recovery. He waited every night for Draco to date him up, which he did unasked for. The younger man, arrogant as he was, blithely ignored Poppy's stern and Hermione's half-hearted attempts to make him leave and spent every free minute next to the medical veil, disguised as a healer from St-Mungo's, which fooled everyone but the confidants. Accepting the obvious, namely their (though still unofficial) well-disposed enmity, and realizing that she would have done the same, Hermione felt light despite illness and longing for Severus' calming proximity. What soothed her though was the reluctance in his eyes when he had to leave again, which also told her that there was quite something between them that likely needed to be addressed soon for her peace of mind.

It would have been very unlike himself hadn't Severus done some scrutinizing as well, especially remembering his lack of control on Valentine's Day. He didn't even like to admit it to himself, but their situation got increasingly emotionally straining, especially as Severus sometimes shortly listened to Draco and Hermione in the infirmary: their discussions, revisions and even teasing, which made him more than a little jealous of the youngsters' significantly deepening friendship and intimacy.