Disclaimer: All my love for this saga won't change the fact that I do not own Naruto.
English not being my native language, please forgive me for the eventual errors I might do, I'll do my best to avoid doing them in the first place or remove them after the fact.
Summary: A story of Hashirama Senju, the one who revolutionized the Shinobi world. AU.
Season I
Chapter Two: Natural
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"Steady your breathing," ordered Butsuma. "Pace it to the rhythm of your heartbeat first, then prolong it slowly - have it come from the core. You'll be in a good place then."
"Yes father."
Butsuma closed his eyes, his traits slipping off into serenity, as his children followed suit after him.
They were all in the backyard of their house, Hashirama and her brothers, following their morning routine under their father's guidance. Dawn was on the horizon, the promising flavour of a new day - yet the village was still perfectly quiet.
A light breeze on her cheek and the small creaks of the house were the only eerie distractions.
Hashirama closed her eyes, trying to follow her father's instructions as well. Next to her, she felt more than she heard one of her brothers shift softly on the ground.
There was a time where those few things would have diverted her attention completely, Hashirama thought. She wasn't like Tobirama, Kawarama or even Itama, her youngest brother: she had had a hard time initially with meditation.
Her body was restless, and she was painfully aware of every minute passing on - it was a drag.
But the Senju clan had a strict regimen about chakra control techniques and meditation was at the cornerstone of them - there was no way around it, especially for the youngest members of the clan who were forced into it from an early age.
So she did what she was told.
She tipped her head up, focusing on the beating of her heart.
And, in time, she came to the place her father was referring to earlier: the place where she was calm enough to properly perceive her body.
How heavy it felt.
How restless it was.
Limbs, muscles, bones.
Limbs.
Muscles.
Bones.
She could feel the state in which all those elements were: whenever she came by one being contracted or stiff, she instinctively focused her best into releasing the area from its state, from contracted to relaxed, from stiff to soft.
Uncoiling them could take minutes, at times hours, but she felt in control, being able to push her body into the direction she wanted. In time, Hashirama had even come to develop an appreciation for this particular exercise.
Now, the task was both fascinating and utterly absorbing to her.
Laying motionless, being acutely aware of her body as her mind travelled from one area to the other - limb, muscles, bones - Hashirama was checking the sensations, feelings and state of all of them.
Such a casual action; to think it had taken her two entire years to be able to perceive all those physical layers actively, and another one to finally "feel" the energy that vascularized them...
Hashirama breathed deeply.
Chakra.
As usual, it came as waves.
Waves that surged and receded with every pump of her heart.
Waves that submerged and left those areas time and time again, provoking a surge of contentment then withdrawal in a matter of seconds.
The most peculiar feeling, barely noticeable even deep into her meditation, where she could distinguish this rapid shift of emotions within herself.
"There's another layer beyond that," Butsuma had succinctly told her the first time she spoke about it, at a time where she was barely older than Itama now. "Try and focus on those waves of yours, you'll realise quickly something about your body."
Easier said than done!
Back then, she could barely see those waves of chakra in her mind's eye. Following their rhythmic invasion and retreat in her body used to be a true challenge... But even then, that rhythm was already unmistakable to her.
Limb, muscles, bones.
Limb.
Muscles.
Bones.
Always the same path.
The feeling of replenishment, quickly replaced by the one of withdrawal, both cycling all over again in succession.
Never resting.
Never stopping.
Repeating this circuit. A pattern reproduced over and over again.
Could it be… that there was a logic to it? had she wondered a day. A way for her body to ensure the continuous flow of chakra in all its parts, in this same, predictable way, every single time?
"Took you long enough," Tobirama had mocked her when she had exposed her deduction to her father one evening, months into their training.
Hashirama had stuck her tongue to the white-haired, black-eyed doll that passed for her second brother.
Despite his fair appearance and calm demeanour, Tobirama could be a real pain sometimes, having a knack to snatch all her thunder with one or two pointed remarks and a frightful stare that he'd been carefully cultivating while observing their father...
Here, the cheek had been more than enough to pilfer her a little bit, her brother knowing perfectly well that Butsuma considered the learnings around chakra as parts of a personal journey.
"Your brother has been aware of this for a very long time," Butsuma explained. "But it's good that you figured it out for yourself only through your meditation. Yes, chakra follows a pattern. Born from the core, it flows throughout the body to its remotest parts, and back.
Just as the blood in your veins travels from there and back as well."
"A network," Hashirama murmured. "A network of chakra, like - like the network of blood!"
Butsuma opined and Tobirama grinned.
"It's all connected, Hashirama," he agreed. "A network of life really... With practice, you'll be able to ride the waves of chakra so far in your body, you'll be aware of the remotest hair pushing on your head."
"Is that what you can do?" had asked Hashirama in awe. "How long have you been able to do so?"
"I've been aware of my chakra network since last summer - almost a year."
"You are something else, Tobi-kun," smiled Hashirama while eyeing her little brother proudly.
As much as she tried, she couldn't stay offended very long with the people around her, let alone her own, amazing, family.
"True enough," Butsuma had said while observing his second child sternly. "That being said, your brother Tobirama has been gifted with exceptional perceptive abilities… His understanding of the chakra network has benefitted much more from our meditating than yours ever will be able to, Hashirama. Take solace in knowing most people in the clan develop such awareness only years from where you are now."
Her father had been right.
People were positively impressed about her progress the same way they had been by Tobirama's.
The more time she had spent riding the waves of chakra into her body, the more she had been able to understand how chakra flow seemed to work.
Always from limbs to bones.
Always from channels to rivulets.
Cascading in previously undiscovered valleys and passageways, innervating the area they went through, always welcomed and favoured and regretted when retreating…
She had been discovering her body in ways she didn't imagine was initially possible.
The first time she had tried to affect the chakra flow in her body - trying to keep it from receding in her left ear - was a complete failure, however.
Like trying to grab air itself in her hands.
"Chakra is elusive," Butsuma had said to her on that occasion. "It's one thing to knead chakra from within the abdomen and direct it to do one's bidding, forcing it left, forcing it right... It's another thing to control the flow itself, especially the one that the body naturally produces, not just control the pathways it can or cannot take. In fact, without the use of artificial means - Uzumaki barriers, chakra suppression points - it's a tremendous challenge to control the flow of chakra, even for someone like me.
It requires special skills and deep knowledge in this domain in order to achieve it - or prodigious instincts, like your brother Tobirama. Practice meditation daily, my daughter. Eventually, you'll be able to master your chakra in uncanny ways."
And this is how Hashirama and her brother Tobirama, and years later, Kawarama and Itama took after their father Butsuma and meditated at length, for hours long at times, to this day.
Spending so much time observing chakra travel within her, within every region of her body, Hashirama had come to realise that chakra ties to life were more profound and stronger than what even the adults were saying...
The way her body was reacting in its presence, and declining in its absence - it was essential, just as the blood in her vein, or the air in her lungs...
Not just her body: her mind too was affected. Sharper with every wave of chakra, muddier with every recede.
A shift so fast it remained beyond her consciousness usually, but became discernible when she rooted herself into meditation, outside of time, outside of everything…
Hashirama liked travelling with her chakra, the vitality of it: mould it then follows it through its journey in her body...
This morning was no different.
After years of practice, Hashirama had realised that it was less controlling the flow of chakra, than actually merging with it and guide it toward the wanted spot.
Once immersed into it, small nudging, impulses could lead the flow where she wanted.
Of course, she still lacked the finesse with which her little brother managed to do so…
She was always impressed when she thought about how Tobirama had mastered his chakra flow so much earlier than her… He was truly exceptional when it came to this! But she had become quite adept at this as well.
And she finally understood what Tobirama meant when talking about the geography of the chakra network: now, she could not only tell when the flow crossed one of the nodes who meshed her whole body, she could visualise internally their form and size through their contact with her chakra.
Always the practical man, their father had theorised that with sufficiently advanced chakra perception and control, they would be able to go beyond the simple disruption of genjutsu but develop a natural resistance to it, the same way he and a select few in the clan had - a highly sought-after skill that could save their lives in combat.
Of course, Tobirama had been engrossed with the idea ever since, and Hashirama herself wouldn't deny how useful this could prove to her eventually.
"Know your network in and out, always," had become his mantra, and there wasn't a week without him making a remark upon it, whether to her, to Kawarama or to Itama. "You never know when this will come into play..."
But Hashirama had an objective of her own when it came to chakra, an objective that she wanted to explore on this particular morning, yet again.
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She could perceive the light through her eyelid, as it slowly warmed the skin on her cheeks…
The sun was finally greeting them all, coming out of its slumber. How long had it been already? Half an hour? An hour maybe?
But as the stray thoughts came, the girl let them pass and vanish into nothingness.
And soon, as the sun started to welcome them into the new day, Hashirama parralleled it by purposely immersing herself completely within her chakra, as she had been doing for months now.
Indeed, ever since she had begun perceiving chakra through her meditation, she had been very aware of some sort of resistance occurring while it travelled through her body.
She wasn't sure what was causing it, but she could tell, at the edge of her perception range, that something was receding as her chakra progressed into the network, gliding in and around and ahead of her chakra…
Keeping her eyes closed, she focused on the elusive sensation, tracking it throughout her body until it became all that counted, until wondering what it was became a meaningless interrogation to her…
Yet, the *thing* kept evading her, feeling so close yet so far away from her reach that Hashirama felt frustrated by the whole ordeal.
This back and forth lasted seemingly for an unknown period of time; Hashirama lost track of time just like she lost track of it countlessly in her network, like all her previous attempts.
Finally, she relented, barely holding off a sigh of annoyance, as she was wary of her father's reaction to it.
It was hard not to be annoyed though.
Whatever she tried, it wasn't working; she couldn't do it. She couldn't reach that *thing* beyond her chakra.
She had this feeling of riding at the forefront of her chakra as it travelled her body, visualising her parkour while doing so, but when it came to that *thing*...
It felt like chasing someone else's shadow.
Feeling its presence while meld into her chakra was the best she could do... And her best wasn't enough here.
Her concentration wavering, her mind started drifting away from the exercise, plagued with stray thoughts…
Truthfully, she had a hard time coping with this block.
It was an unprecedented situation for her: she was used to picking things up quickly, to learn fast and tear down any barriers that were presented to her…
Being halted like that, being in a dead-end as to what to do to overcome this limit was a novel thing for her - and she wasn't sure she really liked it.
This block was frustrating, and she had no clue as to whether or not overcoming it was even feasible.
Kawarama and Itama were in no capacity to help her on this topic, being far greener than she was about chakra…
Tobirama had flat out dismissed the notion as whimsical and unrealistic when she'd approached him with it, though with a tone that wasn't as casual as he thought it was…
As for her father?
He had insisted that some things needed to be discovered on a personal level to master one's chakra, and she had no doubt he was the reason why Tobirama seemed to frown upon her soliciting him on this topic…
Butsuma abhorred when she or the others turned to outside help when it came to chakra…
He wasn't the only one though: most of the clan held the same view regarding chakra.
For example, genjutsu training wasn't on the table until the future trainee had made the demonstration of his or her mastery in chakra control and fundamental understanding of chakra...
It was imperative.
Though, there were certainly examples allowing for outside interference in order to get the desired results, Hashirama thought cheekily…
Butsuma had no qualm asking Tobirama to course-correct one of the meals prepared by the household: another one of her brother's many talents…
Or when that boy at the river tried to stone-skip across it the other day...that Madara...
An ambitious project that had left a certain number of rocks stranded at the bottom of the river though.
Hashirama distinctly remembered the offended face of the boy when she had shown him how this was actually done.
It was hilarious…
Such changes made possible by a simple flick of the hand: a world of difference between a rock finishing its run at the bottom of the water and ending it across on the other riverbank!
It was pretty - it was pretty…?
…!
!
Hashirama tilted her head to the side, considering something for the very, very first time; something so simple, so evident that she was stupefied she didn't think about it until now…
Her chakra…
Up until now, she was travelling with it in her chakra network, which allowed her the opportunity to perceive that *thing* always lurking ahead of it…
The act of immersing herself into chakra through her mind's eye… into the spiritual component of her chakra in fact…
It was that that allowed her to travel her chakra network, to perceive its physical architecture into her mind's eye…
Immersing herself into the spiritual component of her chakra was also what allowed her to perceive the elusive sensation at the edge of said chakra, she was sure of it…
Had been sure of it for a good while…
But.
It also caused her to be tied to the physical component of her chakra as a result…
Tied in a way that caused her inability to reach out physically - despite perceiving it spiritually - the elusive *thing* at the edge of her chakra…
So…
What if, in order to finally reeach that *thing* and even discover what it was, she needed to leave the immersion in her chakra once close to it?
To immerse herself spiritually into what laid beyond instead?
She would leave the physical part of her chakra behind... Freeing her from its unvoluntar shackles.
It would be like leaving a bath you'd been completely submerged in… or having a stone crossing the limits of a river it was never meant to cross…
Was it even possible?
To travel in her chakra network ahead of the chakra itself?
Without immersing into it altogether, just… leave it behind?
Her perception of herself was tied to the physical world.
Always.
Her body.
Her breathing.
Her blood coursing her vein...
But chakra wasn't just physical in nature, despite its ability to be manifested in the physical world - or more accurately, it was a combination of both physical and spiritual energies…
The key to all this had to be there, right?
Maybe it was possible for her to perceive herself spiritually, the same way she could do physically - and this, even without immersing herself into the spiritual part of her chakra through meditation...
The implication being that, she could finally track the *thing* laying beyond her chakra…
The thought itself almost split open her focus, and Hashirama had to make an enormous effort to keep it on the elusive *thing* as well, for it was a breakthrough in her quest of understanding, she knew instinctively...
How silly of her not to have entertained the notion before now, when it was probably the key to unravel this whole mystery!
Despite her building excitement, Hashirama forced herself into steadying her breathing and focusing once again on her chakra and the sensations tied to it.
And once she found some sort of balance, she progressively immersed herself again into her chakra to travel with it.
Once she'd feel ready, she would execute the manoeuvre.
Afterward, whatever happened, happened!
She was willing to put that theory to the test immediately.
Hashirama followed the next wave of chakra to the tip of her hand until it receded, but this time, without hesitation, she willed herself into the vacuum that was left behind by
her chakra the moment it retreated…
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/ - Everything was so . . . WARM! - /
/ - Like bathing into the sun itself . . . WARMTH beyond anything she had ever felt . . . -/
/ - Suddenly, she could see – distinctly see! – her chakra flows through the maze of her body, throughout the WARMTH fluidlike, amorphous presence . . . - /
/ - Not only hers – but her father's . . . and her brothers' . . . And beyond them, everyone in the village. And beyond again? - /
/ - Other people, in other villages and settlements, and vast groups of individuals and animals alike . . . - /
/ - So many . . . - /
/ - And the WARMTH was all around them. - /
/ - Everywhere. - /
/ - OVERWHELMING. . . . . . . ... -/
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/
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Her chakra crashed into her, obliterating her focus;
time seemed to still and flow at once as she fell to the ground.
"HASHIRAMA!"
Her eyes snapped open.
It was like she had crashed from a very long fall - the sudden wall of sensations was overwhelming, be it her trembling muscles, the dust grating her skin, the sunlight behind her father that was scrutinising her, or the feeling that her heart was on the verge of exploding in her chest.
And from within, the cruel cold who took over her in the absence of the WARMTH...
The bitterness.
"What happened?"
Her father was still watching her, whilst Tobirama looked at her with such intensity she felt startled.
Itama had paled.
"I… was trying something," Hashirama said, now feeling uncomfortable about the whole attempt as her body was slowly recovering from the experience.
"What were you trying to accomplish?" asked Tobirama suspiciously.
They stared at each other and Hashirama instinctively knew the question was a rhetorical one.
He knew.
Tobirama knew what she had tried to do and, somehow, was frowning upon it...
Hashirama still decided to humour him with an honest answer.
"I was trying to go beyond my chakra… Because I felt like there was something retreating from it whenever it circulated in my network, and I wanted to figure out what it was."
Butsuma remained silent, though the intensity of his stare seemed to increase tenfold.
"It's natural energy," he finally said, still having a heavy stare upon her. "It's an essential part of the world, binding all living things together," Butsuma added with an uncharacteristic sigh.
His hand came resting on Hashirama's head, startling her.
"You have made exceptional progress my daughter, only a minute few individuals in our clan have the ability to even perceive natural energy - and now, you are one of them."
Hashirama was astounded - her father's praises were a rarity in her family.
She wasn't even sure she remembered the last time he made one for her…
"So I'll warn you now Hashirama, the same way I warned Tobirama when he became aware of it the first time - don't ever mess with natural energy!
It would only lead you to your death."
Hashirama deflated.
"But, why?"
"Because you'd die, irremediably crushed under its weight. Natural energy dwarfs any being in the known world. It is as large as the continents we dwell on, the oceans we sail to or the air we breathe. It knows no limit… Even the legendary Bijuus cannot compare."
"But, it didn't seem -"
"Harmful?" cut in Tobirama aggressively.
"Well, yeah," said Hashirama a little lamely.
"It's because you didn't leave your chakra network," her brother continued crisply. "I felt it when you tried your little stunt; somehow you remained at the edge of your network. Thankfully. Otherwise, If you hadn't? You'd probably be dead right now."
Itama gasped and looked fearfully at Hashirama, just as Butsuma glowered at Tobirama for his words, not denying any of them though.
"Why is that?" whispered Hashirama, shocked.
"Think Hashirama, think! What do you think would happen if your essence were to leave your body?" Tobirama said coldly. "I'll tell you what would happen: your body would be open to the natural energy all around us! Completely open! Except there would be no going back", he added darkly. "The natural energy would fill your body never to let it go again, and your essence would be lost to the wind. Scattered."
Tobirama was on his feet now, a scowl rivalling those of their father on his traits.
"Hashirama, this was the most reckless… nonsensical… act you ever did! You're messing with forces that are beyond your control… I fear that, some day, you'll pay a dire price as a result! Father," he added swiftly, before Hashirama could react to his words, "can me and Itama go? We have to eat something, the day is upon us and we haven't done our sword katas yet."
Butsuma nodded and, without a backward glance toward her, Tobirama left the court followed by Itama, still very pale and nervous.
"I suppose Tobirama made that discovery long before me" Hashirama finally commented more than asked her father.
Because she knew he had to have made the same discovery before her, that was what he did whenever it came to chakra.
"He did. And he is right. That was reckless of you Hashirama, you really could have died for nothing!" growled Butsuma. "Understand that Tobirama has vastly superior sensing abilities than almost everyone in the village. Imagine for someone like him how perceiving natural energy is…"
His words gave Hashirama pause.
After what she had just experienced, she understood perfectly well what her father meant: natural energy was so massive, so overwhelmingly present around them, it must have been downright oppressive to Tobirama.
No matter how warm it felt, it was frightening to witness!
"Though I suppose I'm partly to blame for this," her father murmured. "I never thought you'd develop the ability to perceive natural energy, as it is very very difficult to detect... I won't make the mistake of underestimating your abilities again, daughter of mine."
"I won't do it again father, I promise."
Butsuma seemed to somewhat relax at these words.
Leaning back, a ghost of a smile appeared on him while looking at her, making him instantly look so much younger in her eyes.
"What you attempted with your essence… is not unprecedented. In fact, some clans in the south have based their ninjutsu techniques around this concept: having their essences roam freely outside their bodies."
Hashirama gasped: whole clans were using such abilities in warfare?
"Those are secret techniques from other shinobi clans," Butsuma continued. "The truth is, we can only speculate based on our personal knowledge of chakra and a few accounts of surviving witnesses. But overall, it seems like they use a specific type of chakra to tether their essence to their bodies and not die while leaving it.
Most probably Yin type, as their techniques must heavily rely on spiritual energy…
"Yin-type?"
Butsuma nodded.
"This is a special type of chakra. Yin-type is disproportionate with spiritual energy, Yang chakra with physical energy. This is beyond the five elemental nature of chakra.
With your abilities, you and your brothers will be able to learn how to generate them by yourselves, I'm sure of it. It is essential that you master the various aspects of chakra!
This is what makes our clan so strong, so powerful... This is why we are feared among the other clans! And we must all do our part to keep it that way. Do you understand?"
"Yes father. "
"Never do that again. Your brothers are still depending on you for now: do not disappoint them and me with reckless experiments like this."
"I won't, father."
"Go. You need to eat and do your duty as well, Hashirama."
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The rest of the morning was spent with Hashirama trying to reconcile with Tobirama, whilst Tobirama kept giving her the cold shoulder.
The morning became a day.
The day became a week.
Finally, on the eve of her going on an escort mission with Itama and a few others from their clan, Tobirama came to see her in their bedroom.
It felt very empty for its occupants nowadays: Kawarama had been sent on an overreach mission with other members of their clan, to gather supplies and new trade agreements with other villages.
He wouldn't be back for another month at least.
Which meant, another month where his laughter and boisterous self would be sorely missed…
"I'm surprised father is letting you go," Tobirama said, laying back on the frame of the door.
Hashirama glanced at him above her shoulder; he seemed tense, gravity etched on his face.
"I volunteered", Hashirama simply replied.
"Why?" asked the boy with a slight frown marring his face.
"You know why," she answered without looking at him.
One of the windows creaked, pressed on by the wind that was starting to stir outside.
Dusk was upon them, chasing away the last traces of the sun, and bringing with him the usual nocturnal shadows.
"Someone has to keep an eye on Itama for his first outing, and I'd rather it be me," Hashirama said, continuing to pack her gear dutifully. "I won't be as busy as the rest of the party we are being put on, and I think Itama appreciates me being there for him either, even if he'll never admit it before our father."
"You should show more faith in your fellow clansmen and women," piqued Tobirama. "Most of the people in that party are stronger than you, they would do a fine job protecting Itama if it came to it."
"They are shinobis: their priority will never be toward Itama' safety and you know it," retorted Hashirama. "Honestly, as long as father allows it, that's all that matters to me; I don't care if I cross someone else's feelings by me being there," the girl added with a small shrug. "Is that what's troubling you anyway, Tobirama?"
"What do you think?" said the boy evenly. His eyes were fixed on her now, unwavering. "Kawarama has been gone for weeks now on this trade mission, and now it's you and Itama that are going away…"
"I never took you for the sentimental type, Tobi-kun!" Hashirama teased playfully. "Besides, it's not a long mission like the one Kawarama is currently part of, we'll need maybe a week to finish it, top…"
"You're missing the point."
"What is the point?"
Tobirama took his time to answer, throwing a quick look down the hall to make sure they weren't being listened to.
"The point is… I don't want us to part ways without making peace with one another."
"You are one to talk!" scoffed Hashirama, now turning her full attention toward him. "Who's been ignoring me for the last week or so?"
"I thought you were going to die," Tobirama simply said in a hushed tone. "I thought... I thought you were going to be overwhelmed by natural energy and vanish!
I can tell how much chakra is essential to protect us from it. I don't know how it does it, but it does protect us. And you…"
Tobirama closed his eyes, as if looking for the words that currently eluded him.
"You are important," he finally said, looking down at his feet. "Even a kid like me can tell you are blessed with talent. And I know you'll become a great kunoichi of the Senjus some day, one of the greatest shinobi around!
So… losing you now, to some stupid chakra-related experiment would be devastating for the clan in the long run… For the clan, and for us, your family. We look up to you, you know, me and the others. "
Tobirama himself seemed surprised at his confession. A little red on the cheek, he crossed his arm to look away, annoyed.
Hashirama sighed, feeling real fondness for her brother.
"I understand. And I should have realised you were looking out for me that day, Tobi-kun… I'm sorry, I truly am. I had no idea that natural energy could be so dangerous and was so stressful to you. Don't deny it," she cut him off when he seemed about to protest.
"Father told me how oppressive it could look to you."
Tobirama looked somewhat embarrassed by this piece of information.
"I'm acutely aware of it, but not like when we are meditating. When I'm in that state, I can sense everything around me and beyond, and nature energy is part of that.
It dwarfs everything."
"I see… Well, I'll make you the same promise I made to our father: I won't mess with natural energy anymore, you don't have to worry."
Tobirama nodded, gratifying her with one of his rare smiles.
"I know I won't, Hashirama. I trust you."
Those words meant the world to the girl, who couldn't help but go hug her little brother, to his even bigger embarrassment.
With clenched teeth and a bit-red complexion, Tobirama mumbled about checking on their dinner before swiftly exiting the room, leaving Hashirama to her own device.
"I'll make sure to be worthy of your trust, Tobi-kun…", she repeated confidently. "It's a promise."
Outside, the night sky rumbled menacingly at her words.
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Author's note: Careful with that kind of promises, Hashirama…
Anyway, thank you for taking the time reading the second chapter of Hashirama's journey!
Tricky to write, if I'm to be honest – hopefully, a pleasure to read for you dear reader! That's the goal for me here.
Chapter three is scheduled for next week!
See you then.