Disclaimer: All my love for this saga won't change the fact that I do not own Naruto.
English not being my native language, please forgive me for the eventual errors I might do, I'll do my best to avoid doing them in the first place or remove them after the fact.
Summary: A story of Hashirama Senju, the one who revolutionized the Shinobi world. AU.
Season I
Chapter Five: Brothers and Sister
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"Shinobis do not cry," said Butsuma, his remaining children standing behind him stoically."Shinobis are born into this world to fight and die into battle."
Above them, the sun was setting.
Men of the village were digging in silence, working sombrely, tiredly, to prepare their fallen clansmen and women to rest in their last home.
Tenma, their uncle and Butsuma's brother, was overlooking the work, dispensing quiet recommendations and silent nods to the men.
He too seemed to dwell into the heaviness of the atmosphere, melancholy in his eyes. He too had lost family today.
They all had.
The men had been digging the graves diligently for hours now.
They were lined-up on a wide area, a testimony to the horror the village had faced once more.
Horror, confusion and astonishment as no one had expected to see Hashirama and her little brother alive when they had arrived the day before, during the funeral ceremonies no less...
Tobirama had explained to them the very evening what had transpired after their disappearance - their father wasn't there, preoccupied with meetings with the elders and advisors at the Council Hall.
A group led by Tenma had barely made it back to the village, the remnant of their initial platoons - and only after several days of travel at sparse speed, thanks to the Uchihas' strong presence in the Red Forest…
Todoroshi, whom Hashirama barely remembered having talked to, had been killed right off by the Uchihas at the beginning of their attack.
Topoï too, as they tried to retreat back from the fight…
To her immense relief, Renji had made it back with them, gravely injured, but alive.
Momotama, Iderama and Funomori had all made it back safe and sound, though shocked and plagued by grief, especially Funomori who couldn't do anything to save his brother...
They'd come back to the village thinking they were the only survivors of their group.
They'd come back to it in a situation of crisis.
It turned out the Uchihas had organized several strikes along Nakasendo Way in the space of twenty to forty-eight hours, targeting specifically caravans and civilian transports.
It was on one such caravan that their brother Kawarama had been killed by several shinobis...
The road itself was mostly under Senju control, and it had been a long time since anyone had challenged their hold over it - even the Uchihas.
As a result, there weren't as many veteran shinobis as there used to be among the latest missionnees - but instead, greener shinobis who needed to gain experience and even rookies.
Veterans were dispatched elsewhere…
Thanks to that, an unusually high number of Senju shinobis had been killed or captured following those attacks; fourteen killed, half that number being made of under eleven years' old…
Two had disappeared, probably as hostages to the Uchihas and many of the wounded had debilitating injuries - they would never be shinobis again.
The adults theorized the Uchihas were trying to disrupt the economy on that road, to weaken Senjus' dominance over it and hit their economy…
In that, their success was undeniable.
Rumors had spread like wildfires along Nakasendo Way, of the Senjus' failures to protect their clients.
Local authorities were both worried of the resurgence of criminality on the road, and furious that the Senjus couldn't manage to protect all of their clientele.
It would mean less traffic and trade opportunities for them in the immediate future, at the very least…
Even if the Senjus were offering reassurances and promises of reinforced military escorts for future endeavours, the damage was already done to their reputation…
It would take a while for them to clean off this stain…
But Hashirama couldn't care less of the whys of that attack...
Her little brother was now dead.
Kawarama… Kawarama who could have been a lot of things - he was… had been... so very talented!
A boy genius with a kind heart and a strong sense of humour.
Hashirama used to tease him about his laughter, a funny, boisterous one.
About how he should keep it in check lest Tobirama try and emulate him.
About his talent in kenjutsu that made it hard for them to look good in comparison…
And to all that, he simply grinned and said, "well worth the trouble, dear sister!" with that infuriating mischievous air of him…
And now, she would never be able to say any of that to him - ever again…
All that over a matter of clans' revenues and territorial ambitions…
"Kawarama…"
She didn't realise his name had escaped her lips.
She blinked.
Itama was crying profusely next to her.
Her youngest brother had been closest both in age and companionship with Kawarama.
His loss had hit him the hardest among them; he had collapsed to the ground when seeing the corpse of their brother, shocked.
The girl knew he would be reeling over this loss for a very, very long time...
Her other brother, Tobirama, was paler than usual - heartbroken…
Retelling the tales of the last few days had been a difficult endeavour for him…
He hadn't mentioned the period before even that, living through it must have been hell…
A time when the uncertainty and the lack of information had led to the spread of dire rumours.
About their torture and their death at the hand of the Uchihas, for one.
About an Uchiha assault on their territory, lastly.
Thankfully, none of these fears had materialized, though everyone took the menace of an attack very seriously.
The Uchihas were their pitted enemies and had coveted the Senjus' position and territory for centuries…
Clashes were frequent, skirmishes even more and both clans were regularly in the crosshair of one another when taking on missions from local authorities, warlords or civilians.
A full-scale war between both clans was a possibility.
As for her…
Hashirama was seething with rage.
Rage against the world they lived in.
Rage against her father's words.
Shinobi do not cry…even when losing someone so fundamental to them, parts of themselves apparently...
"Be grateful," said their father, looking sternly at the men working on the graves."Be grateful that we managed to retrieve even a piece of your brother's corpse!
His enemies were of the Uchihas and Hagoromos clans! They are known to be merciless!"
The words of her father were still ringing in her ears when Hashirama exploded.
"Kawarama was just seven years old! Seven!" she called out to his father. "How long? How long will this kind of fighting continue?"
The corpse of a dying young boy exploding flashed in her mind, colouring her rage with unquenchable shame... How long?
"As long as there's an enemy still breathing, there's an enemy waiting to be vanquished," Butsuma responded simply. "As shinobis, we pave the way to a battle-free world, and we must endure the hardship that comes along with it! This is our duty."
"Why should the children be the ones to suffer the most from this then?" the girl countered furiously, shame plaguing her with remorse.
Her father didn't take kindly to her words, turning his stare on her, crushing her anger with his own hand.
The slap was resounding, taking off-guard Tobirama and Itama who looked fearfully at their sister as she collapsed.
She could feel her face burning, whether from anger or from pain, she didn't know herself…
"I will not allow Kawarama to be disrespected!" Butsuma shouted, glaring, as Tobirama and Itama came next to Hashirama. "He fought and died as a full-fledged shinobi!
He wasn't a child!"
"Big Sis', are you alright?" Itama asked worriedly, sobered up by the sudden display of their father.
"Hashi, you know what happens when you defy father," Tobirama said soberly as he helped his sister back to her feet.
Hashirama gritted her teeth, staring at Butsuma who was walking away, armour glistening in the reddening sky.
They both didn't understand - she had to do this, she had to confront their father! She didn't want any more of them to die in pointless conflicts… nor any other children for that matter...
Itama and her had barely made it back to the village, and the journey had been both challenging and bloody…
She felt dirty because of it, of what she had to do to save them both from their enemies…
Enough was enough!
When would they live up to their clan's mantra? Never it seemed…
"We Senjus are supposed to be the clan of love! We are supposed to uphold the Sixth Path Sage legacy toward ninjutsu! But how can we pretend that when looking at us from the inside out? The clan of love, really? This is an absolute joke!" Hashirama spat, her words displayed with a vehemence that hadn't been deterred one bit by Butsuma' strike.
She knew her words had struck a chord, because Butsuma's rage suddenly filled the atmosphere.
She doubled down.
"All of this is just grown-ups driving kids to their deaths! We are doing exactly the same thing as the Uchihas!"
"That is how we honour our opponents," her father retorted as he slowed his walk to a crawl. "By treating them equally. A child wielding a weapon isn't a child anymore, but an enemy that needs to be defeated. And it is our role as loving parents to raise you, children, into becoming full-fledged shinobis!"
"By throwing away the life of your children, is that it? Being a full-fledged shinobi means dying in this clan!" she added as the man stopped in his tracks this time.
Tobirama cringed.
His sister was a fool!
A fool to provoke their father like that on the very day they were burying all of their dead…
He himself had doubts about the seeming inescapability of their conflict with the Uchiha warriors, but today was not the day to challenge the role of the Senjus in this mess…
Was it her way of grieving their losses somehow?
Hashirama realized she had her father's full attention…
Good.
She continued determinedly.
"We kill and are killed so much we can't keep track of all the losses and grudges anymore…even our family name becomes risky to divulge!"
Her father's expression hardened at those words, but Hashirama ploughed through regardless, a torrent of emotions storming her - and any precautions she might have - away.
"There's something totally wrong about a ninja world like this!"
"This is why…", growled Butsuma,"... children like you are called BRATS!" he finished, losing definitively his temper.
He was on Hashirama in an instant, a balled fist throttling toward her face… before something blurred in front of her.
It was Tobirama, arms extended in front of his sister and Itama, blocking their father in his tracks, fearlessly looking back at Butsuma.
"Father… Older Sister's feeling depressed today," the boy said quietly. "Please! Forgive her."
Butsuma considered the united front of his children, anger and pride disputing it in his mind.
He saw the calm determination of his second son, the one who would inherit the mentel of the clan's leader when the time came.
He saw the innocent, frightened expression of his last son, who'd miraculously made it back from his first real mission.
He saw the hurt and anger on the face of his eldest, the finest kunoichi of her generation, that had made said miracle possible in the first place…
And, in his mind's eye... he saw the missing smile of his third son, the promising ninja, the one who looked the most like him in prowess, cut too short by Uchiha and Hagoromo warfare…
In all of them, he saw a part of Kawarama still living.
They were the inheritors of his will now.
They ought to live up to it… But at least, they were deeply carrying the love of their fallen brother, her eldest being the symbol of that love, even if she didn't realise it.
Pride finally overcame Butsuma, tossing aside the anger.
Sighing, the man turned his back and walked away.
"Go and cool your head Hashirama," he said with a finality in his voice that left no room for potential discussion.
Yes, Butsuma was proud of his children. They deserved some respite today.
Above them, the sun was set.
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The children found themselves in a small clearing next to the village.
It was a place that had been exploited for its woods by the local artisans and builders for decades but was now left to regenerate.
Areas like this were in general localized around the village, sections of the forest that were planned for exploitations, while other sections were allowed to regenerate at a slower pace like this one…
Tree nurseries were also jealously guarded, with only a select few having access to them.
Some sections of the forest were even specifically let alone for total growth, as a way to facilitate defensive positions in case of an attack in and around the village…
Forestry management was one of their clan' strength and source of steady revenue, and it was expected of every Senju to know the basics of tending to trees, harvest them or favour their development.
Also, there was little passage here, so it was a good place to have fun and play outside the adults' scrutiny, the children of the village had found out…
And when nobody was around?
It was as good a place as any to stop and discuss, which was why Hashirama and her brothers were now hanging there, after the fight between their father and her.
Hashirama was sitting in lotus on the stump part of a giant tree.
Tobirama was standing next to her, arms crossed, whereas Itama was sitting on the edge of the tree, his feet dangling in the air.
They were silent, still reeling from the words pronounced by Butsuma. Hurtful words to Hashirama.
Night was almost there.
The modicum of light still provided by the sky was pouring from the foliage, bathing the clearing in an orange hue that altered their shadows and made them almost life-like forms...
A contrast with their general mood, who was definitely sombre.
"The adults are stupid," finally declared Tobirama, breaking the silence and the train of thought of the two others, looking at his sister thoughtful expression.
"If they want to stop the fighting, they should make a pact…"
"But… what about avenging our parents and brothers…" interrupted Itama while turning toward him, frowning. "What about all our friends who were killed?"
Tobirama looked at him sternly.
"It's this kind of mentality that will make you die too, brother. You and the adults are too hot-headed."
"Sorry," Itama said with a contrite expression.
"Forthcoming shinobis must supress their emotions," Tobirama added. "Create suitable rules that they then follow and avoid extraneous conflict."
Hashirama pondered heavily on his words.
"Can't a true pact and alliance be achieved?" she murmured aloud.
Itama blinked.
Tobirama stared at her perplexedly.
"What's a true pact?"
Hashirama's air changed to that of determination.
What's a true pact indeed… if not…
"... A way to ensure children are being kept out of the battlefields," Hashirama asserted.
She could almost feel the kunai in her hand, the hot blood on it, as she disposed of a ninja the age of Kawarama or Itama…
The shame of the act drove her thoughts on the matter.
"A way to ensure we never lose someone like Kawarama ever again, that no one does... A way to stop all pointless fighting between shinobi clans."
Her words had both Itama and Tobirama exchange looks of surprise.
Their elder sister had never vocalized such ideals before now, such desires… Tobirama never thought she was a dreamer, not in that way at least.
And currently in their clan, the mood couldn't be farther to the ideals she was expressing.
There was talk of retaliation against the Uchihas, notably their farms in the countryside.
Destroying some of their stockpiled grains and food would ensure hunger would invite itself at their door come winter, hunger or poverty if they somehow managed to buy enough food to other villages to compensate for such losses… it was a vicious circle to get entangled into.
Itama however knew better.
He had spent the better part of the last two weeks with Hashirama trying to survive their enemies and fighting for their lives…
The killings in the Red forest had changed his sister in ways that were still unfolding…
This is why the little boy came up to her and hugged her.
"Maybe," said Itama in her ear, still scowling at the offending concept. "I trust you Big sis', so maybe you can do this! I don't trust our enemies for that though… you'd have to make them listen, and I don't think they are willing to… I think we'll need to keep fighting them for the moment."
And I'll make sure to get strong enough to really help by then, the young boy thought internally.
A hand came to rest on her shoulder. Tobirama's hand.
"I don't want us to lose someone else like we lost Kawarama too, so maybe you are right to strive for that" he said darkly. "But it's an ambitious goal Hashi, maybe too ambitious even for you…"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence guys," the girl said, chuckling ironically. "But I won't renounce this, I can't ignore the state of our world anymore, not after this… As the future clan leader, I'll need your help for that Tobirama, you know, even if you're sceptical…"
"I know. If the opportunity arises, I won't hesitate to seize it. It's a promise."
"Me too! I won't… hesitate…," grumbled Itama, feeling left outside.
The girl laughed.
It was the first time she had laughed since her brother's funeral, and that sound soothed both her brothers that started to laugh too, genuinely, unabashedly, freely.
Soon, the night caught them scrambling to their feet: they needed to head back home, to their father.
The laughs died out in the distance, and, with their departure, the clearing found back its quietness and its habitual inhabitants.
It also held the premises of a new, different future for the Senju children and their clan, under the moonless sky.
A new and different future... if one of them saw it through, at least.
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"Oy!" Madara exclaimed as he reached the figure sitting silently on the river shore, seemingly lost in thought. "It's been a while girlie!" he added jokingly as he sat across from the young girl in question.
"My name is Hashirama," she said, barely sparing him an unimpressed glance before turning back to the river.
Madara looked at her curiously.
He didn't know her well, but he was fairly certain she wasn't really the kind of person to be subject to feats of melancholia.
Her expression made him think she was bothered deeply by something - something else than him, that is.
"Tell me what's bothering you", Madara said simply, eyes fixed on her.
She shrugged, her own eyes still on the water. Her voice was, once more, much softer than what her appearance could lead to believe.
"You wouldn't understand - no one ever does."
"Try me", Madara insisted, tugging at her arm insistingly. "I don't look like it, but I am actually a pretty good listener."
"Listener or eavesdropper?" she said with a small smirk.
"Your jokes are as bad as I remember them to be," Madara grimaced.
"Yeah? 'Cause I'm not joking, you know that's not the same right?" she continued, her smirk widening. "That what you are doing as a shinobi -"
"I know that, stop being obtuse on purpose and get to the point already!" boomed Madara, his patience running low.
"Are you sure you are a good listener?" Hashirama said, head tilted to the side and looking at him suspiciously. "For you to be this upset already -"
"I'm. not. upset." Madara spat while pointing a finger at the young girl. "Stop deflecting Hashirama! I know something is troubling you!"
The little spark of herself that had showed up swiftly disappeared, as well as her bubbling smile.
"Yeah, it's just… you won't understand" she muttered while turning back her gaze on the river.
"Until you try, you won't know that."
The girl said nothing to this, just staring at the river in an uncharacteristically brooding way. Madara still sat there, being off putted by the whole dynamic of their interaction.
What was wrong with her?
"My youngest brother… he almost died a few weeks ago", Hashirama said finally, head still turned toward the river. "A chance encounter with rival shinobis. I saved him and we escaped but, on our way back, we - I had to kill an enemy soldier around his age."
Hashirama hesitantly turned her head, and Madara realised how juvenile she looked when sad emotions took over her - pain and sadness were reflected back to him in her pupils, and she had been unable to stop tears from escaping.
For the first time, Madara saw her really as a girl - she looked the part convincingly. Her fists were clenched on her legs, as she dropped her head to try and hide what she thought was shameful.
"They used him to create an opening to kill me and my brother in one go, but I couldn't allow it", she whispered. "I did what I had to do to protect my brother, but this… this was a pointless death."
The girl started trembling as she wrestled with the memory of that last clash, the shame of it.
The Hagoromos had used that kid, they knew perfectly well they were sending him to his death... but they didn't care.
He was discarded by them cruelly as a tool - then by her, as an enemy to dispose of quickly. Even his corpse had been weaponized…
"I feel so relieved about saving my brother from certain death, yet… I killed another child to do so... And - it never hit me so hard to know in my heart how monstrous my actions were, how wrong this life is… To pit children against children and use them as tools of war… Why put us through that Madara? I feel so ashamed of myself all the time, I can barely look at my reflection anymore…"
Tears started to well in her eyes, as she continued speaking.
"And when... and when we finally came back to our village, we learnt that one of our other brothers had been killed in our absence. First this, and now Kawarama…"
Madara couldn't help the cold shiver who went through him as he watched the girl lose her composure in front of him and expose herself raw.
And what he saw - he could relate to a point she couldn't begin to imagine… He put a hand on her shoulder automatically, his eyes drifting toward the Naka River.
It was so peaceful…
"So, this is why you come in here, heh? To have the river wash away your self-loathing and the pain of grief that has built inside you all the while… Guess I'm not the only one feeling that way then."
He felt her body stiffen at his words, and her gaze on his cheeks. She sniffed.
"Madara? Have you… have you brothers and sisters?" he heard her voice say softly.
The Uchiha boy didn't answer right away, eyes still fixed on the flow of water who was going through the forest unperturbed by the drum of wars, probably since times immemorial… so peaceful…
"I used to have four brothers", he explained diligently, grabbing a rock and getting to his feet. "But now..."
The rock felt light in his hand, almost as light as the breeze that suddenly swept through the river shore.
He knew the girl's attention was focused on him now, but he didn't detract from what he meant to say.
It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to immerse into sentimentality and regret.
He wanted to be able to reminisce of that moment, years from now, where he opened up raw to someone, the same way she had just opened up raw to him.
"'Used to'?" repeated Hashirama, her eyes widening in a doe-like impression and lips slightly parted in shock.
"Now, it's just me and my little brother Izuna", confirmed Madara, playing with the rock bitterly.
They remained silent for an instant, only disturbed by the sound of the river washing the shore where they stood.
"We are shinobis," Madara stated matter-of-factly, moving forward. "In other words: we never know when death will come forth and claim us."
His grip tightened around the rock as he positioned himself to skip it across the river.
"If there were a path to cut through the darkness in this world, would people dare take it?"
Hashirama watched the stone fly through the air, skidding on the river once, twice…
"I firmly believe they would, once knowing what lies under the surface of the other side, once knowing what lies inside each other's guts, with nothing left to hide..."
Thrice, fourth…
"Only then, would people be able to consider taking the path for peace together, as brothers."
"...and sisters", added an enraptured Hashirama, a genuine smile lighting up her face.
She couldn't believe what she was hearing.
There was one person… one person who was just like her, hopeful in the same way that peace could be achieved somehow in this war-torn era.
An optimist even bigger than her remaining Tobirama and Itama, despite all appearances… a spiritual brother alongside her very much blood-related ones...
The mysterious kinship she felt toward the boy had only intensified after his words.
He was a gift from the kami themselves!
Madara's own lips twitched upward, glancing at the girl who stood now next to him, looking intently at his face.
"Brothers and sisters ", she repeated insistantly, her smile growing bigger.
The Uchiha boy stared at her - she still bore that doe-like expression from earlier, the kind no boys on Earth would ever wear...ever.
Combined with that contagious smile of hers, it was effective.
He bet she must have been able to get her way around with that kind of demeanour…
The brat.
"Brothers and sisters", capitulated Madara, somewhat amused at seeing her puffed up with self-satisfaction. "But… that's impossible."
The stone!
It had reached the other side!
It was the first time that it did, what a splendid surprise…!
The ghost of Madara' smile waned as he observed the little rock now trapped on the other shore.
"No one can look deep inside someone else's gut, shed a light powerful enough to cast away all the shadows in someone's heart, and live long enough to call themselves 'siblings'… So instead, we wage war on one another to pave the way for peace...Men, women - children. Such is our fate as shinobis, Hashirama", he concluded sombrely.
Hashirama looked to the rock on the other side, the one Madara had finally managed to get across.
"I don't believe in 'fate'" she said simply. "Just like your rock reaching the other side, there must be a proper way to achieve peace, without going through war… don't you think?"
Madara chuckled. That girl…
"I don't know if it's possible… but whenever I come here, I sure hope for some way to make it happen… so that all I did, all I lost, wasn't in vain."
He turned toward the trapped rock on the other shore.
"Looks like me too, I can reach the other side," he murmured sternly. "What do you say to that, heh girlie?"
"Like I said, you finally managed. Good for you, I guess?", Hashirama dismissed with a shrug. "Though I still think your technique lacks refinement."
"Really? Lack refinement heh? What about you then? I don't have to look into your guts to see there's nothing girlie about yourself! Your hairdo and outfit are awful Hashirama!"
The girl grimaced at the perfidious remark, as Madara erupted in a fit of laughter that, truth be told, suited him well.
Yeah, that was the kind of banter Tobirama would come up with at times… Brotherhood could have its downsides too, obviously. But this?
This was hope.
Hope provided by this boy, Madara, that was so, so like her… A spiritual brother was really the best way to describe him… And Hashirama vowed to hold tight onto that hope - no matter what.
She owed it to Kawarama, and all the others they had ever lost...
She would do everything in her power to achieve peace in her lifetime, and Madara would help her achieve it.
And in time, others like her, like Madara, would join them in this endeavour, she was sure of it!
Her own brothers Tobirama and Itama, her cousins and people in their clan that were tired of the fighting and the losses associated with it…
And beyond them, the people in other clans that were feeling the same way, and willing to act on it for the sake of their future.
Because she knew those like her were real and out there, thanks to Madara.
They just needed to find them.
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Author's note: Amidst tragedy and strife, Hashirama seems to have found a gem, the basis of a new hope for her and her clan… Sadly, we all know better – or do we?
Thank you for taking the time to read the fifth (fifth!) chapter of Hashirama's journey as a shinobi!
We just crossed the mid-point of this first season, we are going to slowly roll toward its end in the coming weeks.
Next chapter scheduled for next week as usual!
Hope you had a good read, dear readers! See you next time.