Oh, Hamburgers

I'm in my last class of the day, sitting in my usual seat waiting for class to start. I really don't want to do this. As soon as the asshole walks through the door I stand up and stop him.

"Broflovski," Kyle doesn't say anything, just gives me a dirty look of acknowledgement.

Before I can tell Kyle that Wendy cancels Mr. Garrison yells at us to be seated. Sighing I go to sit down in my seat just as class begins.

Class is as boring as ever and I'm only barely listening at the end of class when Mr. Garrison mentions a paper.

"The paper I want you to write is to be five paragraphs about what you think would improve our economy today. I will pair you up today with someone to complete this paper by Friday."

The class groans to which Mr. Garrison replies, "I know, I know you all have some sort of insignificant other or thing to attend to, who cares?" He then proceeds to call names from a list.

Craig T.

I sit down in my usual seat in Mr. Garrison's class and by the end of class I'm just ready to leave. I don't really care about being partnered up with someone. This paper is easy, so why the hell do we have to be partnered up? Finally, Mr. Garrison starts to call out names.

"Bebe you will be paired with Clyde. Kenny you will be paired with Butters. Token you will be paired up with Heidi. Craig you will be paired with Tweek. Oh, fuck! "Wendy you will be paired with," I look over and see that Stan looks like he's expecting to be paired with Wendy. "Cartman," Stan's face falls "because these two are not here can someone let them know they will be partners, okay."

Mr. Garrison continues until he's down to the final four, "Pip you will be paired with…Damien." That only leaves two people left. "Stan you are paired with Kyle," The whole class silently gasps, but no one has a chance to say anything because the bell rings. I grab my books and pat Stan who seems frozen in his seat comfortingly on the back. I lean against the door frame as everyone passes out quickly and look over at Mr. Garrison's desk where Kyle is demanding he work alone. Mr. Garrison just shakes his head 'no' before beginning to pack up his papers and grab his bag.

But Kyle asks again only to be declined verbally by an annoyed Mr. Garrison and told specifically that he cannot work alone or switch partners. Kyle then grabs his books off his desk and hurries out of the door furious. Stan who finally got out of his shocked state gathers his things and leaves without sparing one glance at anyone.

(*)

Goddammit, why did Garrison have to make things worse than what it already is? Before I even realize it I'm speaking.

"Why?"

"Because they need to get over whatever bullshit that have going on," Mr. Garrison answers not missing a beat as he continues to pack up. Its as if the asshole knew someone was going to question his decision.

I shake my head, "It's just going to make things worse."

"Look," Mr. Garrison starts as he looks at me without a hint of emotion and for what seems like the first time, I realize how much older Mr. Garrison actually is. He's been my teacher since the third grade and now as I'm standing before him as a senior in high school it's pretty weird. "I've practically known you kids since before you were able to wipe your own snotty noses and asses correctly.

And as history has proved, things aren't going to just magically get better by ignoring the problem and coming up with excuses. I can see that you hope, and don't deny it you stoic bastard because I know it's a front," Mr. Garrison says as I open my mouth to object. "You want them to make up, it's fucking exhausting having to play both sides, right? This is just a push in the right direction. So for once just be grateful for something I've done for you kids," Mr. Garrison finishes stuffing his papers in his bag roughly before grabbing his jacket.

He gently pushes me outside of his classroom before shutting the lights off and locking the door, "I'm not as oblivious as you all would like. You have no idea the types of things I hear and see," Mr. Garrison states before walking towards the end of the hall towards the back exit where the teachers/faculty parklot is.

I'm in shock and I feel admittedly guilty for questioning Mr. Garrison's attentions. I bet we do seem like a bunch of selfish brats that are always mixed up in some drama. With a sigh I hurry to my locker which is conveniently next to Stan's. He's at his locker furiously putting things inside before stuffing his book bag. He slams his locker shut and covers his face.

"Dude," I start not really knowing what to say and Stan glances over at me quickly before glaring at his locker.

"What?"

"You know what," Stan sighs. "Look dude it's just one assignment; an easy one. You could finish it in like a day."

"I know, but I have to work with him Craig."

"So what. Like I said it's an easy assignment. Finish it today and you won't ever have to talk to him again. Then Friday night we can get wasted or do whatever we want, fuck you," I say causing Stan to chuckle.

"You're right dude, It's just one paper," Stan relents and I give a short nod to this.

"Yeah, I know I'm right ass hat," I agree. There's nothing I would like to do more than just fucking sleep. Today has been so exhausting. I walk with Stan out of the side door that leads directly to the student parking lot before promising to talk later and breaking away to my black dodge challenger. And if I see Stan walking over to Kyle in the almost empty parking lot I don't say anything.

I'm in the student parking lot about to open my car door after putting my books and bag in the backseat when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and there's—

"Broflovski," Stan starts as I single my attention on him. I'm taller than Stan by at least a foot and a few inches and I would be a liar if I said I don't use it to my own advantage. Stan's always been one of the short guys since the 8th grade when everyone hit their growth spurts, but that doesn't stop him from rolling his eyes at my guarded stance. "Look, I don't want to do this paper with you anymore then you want to do it with me," I raise an eyebrow in question. What does he plan to achieve by telling me this.

"Your point?"

"I need to get an 'A' on this assignment, so I'm willing to put aside my dislike for you to earn it." I want nothing more than to get in my car and drive 99 mph off a cliff. I don't want to work with Stan I fucking hate Stan.

But instead of voicing this with great strength I spit out an quick, "Okay."

"I think we can finish this paper within one day…so..."

"I can't. I have a debate club meeting with Wendy today." I say even though our meetings are actually on Thursdays, but I'm not going to fucking tell him that.

"She cancelled," Stan says with a shrug.

"What?"

"She has an interview to go to."

"Well, I promised I was going to hang out with Kenny right after school—" I quickly try to recover only to be cut off by a slightly annoyed Stan.

"Kenny's doing his paper with Butters after school."

Figuring I have no other convincing excuses that would get him off my back for the rest of the day, I relent to working with Stan, "Alright." I say and I'm definitely going to hate myself for saying this but, "Come over to my house and we'll work on the paper, my parents went to Ike's recital and should be gone for a couple hours." Stan says nothing and I don't wait for him to before getting inside of my car and leaving the parking lot.

A few hours later I'm sitting on the floor in the Broflovski's living room and the douche is scowling at me. I'm not looking at him, I'm looking at the screen of his laptop, but I can see his reflection. He's still glaring at me; I can feel it.

"Do you have a problem?" I decide to ask.

"Yes, there's a douche bag sitting in my living room," Kyle replies with a fake calmness that just rubs me the wrong way.

I sit Kyle's laptop on the sofa behind me and ask not just to get a rise out of him, but out curiosity "Dude, why do you have such a fucking issue with me?"

"I don't have to explain myself to someone I fucking loathe," Kyle spits out and did I really expect an honest answer to that.

I honestly want nothing more than to punch Kyle in his face right now. To tell him that I hate him and that I don't even want to be in the same vicinity as him any longer than I have to, which isn't long because we just finished our paper a few minutes ago, but—

"Dude, why do you hate me so much?" I ask in all seriousness. I'm curious, shoot me. And I don't think I will ever get the guts nor time to ever ask again. I know I won't.

Kyle's face shows surprise, but it disappears as quickly as it came, "You should go," Kyle says standing and walking out of the room to the front door.

"Why?" I ask my tone verging on the edge of frustration as I stand, facing Kyle.

"Because it's my house ass face." Kyle states firmly, hand motioning towards the door.

"I'll go... if you tell me why you hate me so much," I reply not making any movements towards the door.

"Why do you hate me?" Kyle throws out as I move closer to him.

"I asked you first," I whisper, having now succeeded at having Kyle's back against the wall.

"…I just do. I just fucking hate you. Every day I wish you'd just move away, leave South Park," Kyle whispers back.

"You're not giving me the truth and you know it."

"…Okay, you need to leave now," Kyle says once again.

"No, I'm not leaving," I say firmly, trying to keep my cool. For a moment we just stare at each other until Kyle averts his eyes to the floor, avoiding my gaze.

"Can you leave now? I have other things to do," Kyle states, still avoiding eye contact with me.

I keep Kyle against the wall with our hips close to touching, barely an inch apart, "Just tell me the truth Kyle," I ask again, and why the fuck is this so hard? Why am I even doing this?

I can feel how tense it's gotten between Kyle and I. And I'm stunned when Kyle answers back without any trace of malice, without any trace of any emotion, "What do you want me to say," It's not a question as much as it's a statement.

Kyle's eyes shifts up and lock with mine. "Anything," I say softly, "You can tell me anything you want."

Kyle visibly swallows before he abruptly says, "Leave. Now," His voice is once hard and cold once again.

"Fine," I mutter, completely pissed off now before turning away from Kyle, leaving.

"Hey Butters?" I ask grinning.

"Yeah Ken," Butters answers softly.

Butters and I are lying on the bed in Butters' room and I'm drawing circles on his knee. For some reason I'm always touching Butters, but he seems to not mind and I've been doing this since the 6th grade. And I'm going to admit it, I like touching Butters, I like hanging out with him. I like the fact that he'll be honest with me. I grin absently at the thought of Butters not being so innocent nor naive anymore.

"When do your parents get home?" I decide to ask before I get lost in the comfortable silence between us.

"I-I don't know," Butters answers a little caught off guard. I guess we should finish our paper," Butters says sitting up. I groan not really wanting to, but one side look from Butters makes me reconsider. He and I were working on our history paper and were close to being done when I started a tickling war of some sort. Which was honestly just an excuse to hear Butters high pitched desperate laughter.

Tired, we just layed on the bed talking about random things. About how Esther got caught in the janitor's closet...with the janitor last year. Butters parents weren't home when Butters invited me to work on our paper at his house and that's great. I don't like Chris and Linda because they are always coming in to check on Butters and grounding him for bullshit reasons.

"Alright," I say sitting up also. And an hour later Butters and I have finished our paper and just as Butters closes his laptop I flop back onto the bed. "Hey, Butters are you going to Heidi's party tomorrow?"

"Ken, well, I don't know."

"Well, I think you should come, it'll be fun."

"Well," Butters starts making me smirk, "I guess I could if my mom and dad don't ground me again. Plus Heidi," Butters snort, "Really?"

"What?"I ask and don't even attempt to hide my laughter.

"She's such a bitch Ken. She thinks that just because everyone loved her brother, that everyone will love her no matter what the hell she does." Butters says as he stands gracefully from his bed to lean on his white dresser, facing me.

"He was the same, but nobody really had the balls to stand up to him."

"Except for Stan."

"Yeah..." I trail off because Stan actually was the only one to put 'Mr. PARK COUNTY HIGH KING' in his place. Till this day I still believe Stan's got balls of steel. Because a freshman boldly telling someone more experienced and older to square the fuck up...we were all scared shitless that day, but that didn't stop us from standing behind Stan.

That day kinda went down in Park County High history and effectively gave us our infamous reputations. If only things were still like that. I almost chuckle at the memory of Kyle about two seconds away from smashing the fuck out of Heidi's big bro's face if he thought he was gonna put a hand on Stan. Damn, how things have changed.

"Don't worry, even if you do get grounded," I sit up and move to the edge of the bed and motion for Butters to come closer. "And so what if Heidi thinks she shits diamonds. I can help you sneak out if I need too."

"Ken I—" Butters starts, but doesn't get to finish at the sound of Butters' bedroom door opening.

"Butters did you—" Chris starts, but changes his words and tone when he sees me in Butters' room with his son standing between my knees.

"Butters!"

"Yeah dad?" Butters ask with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"What are you doing? We told you not to bring anyone over while we are out," Chris lectures and if I didn't have at least a modicum of respect for the guy I would tell him something he'd want to fuck me up over.

"I know, but me and Kenny had a paper to do."

"But you still disobeyed your parents so you are grounded mister."

"B-But dad—"

"No but's mister! You are to not go anywhere this weekend, is that clear?"

"Dad—"

"Is that clear?!"

"Yes, sir," Butters says a bit firmly as he wrings his hands together.

When Butters dad leaves I move even closer to Butters, "Butters, Butters?" I touch Butters' hands, stopping his movements and causing him to look at me, "It's okay Butters—"

"No it's not; now I can't even go to Heidi's party."

"Yes you can, it just means we have to go to plan B: sneaking you out of the house."

"How're we gonna do that Ken?"

Looking at Butters face as he bites his bottom lip. I know he's just trying to put on a brave face. He hates it when his parents treat him like a child and I...totally agree. I stand and lean in close, tipping Butters chin up to look him in his beautiful blue eyes that hold much more light than mine, "Hey, don't worry about it," Butters doesn't speak as I envelope him in a hug, "I will see you later Butters I got to go to work."

"See you later Ken," Butters says finding his voice as I grab my grey hoodie before leaving.

Butters S.

I flop back onto my bed, still a bit red in the face from being so close to Kenny. I don't think Kenny knows just what he does to me. Kenny and I always hang out together and I really like having him around. I admire how much he does. He cares a lot more than people tend to give him credit for...but the same could also be said about Eric as well. I pull my white flowy curtains back just a smidge to see Kenny making his way down my driveway and down the street towards the auto shop. As he disappears from sight I let the curtains fall back in place soundlessly.

I like that Kenny tells me things that he wouldn't tell anyone. I also like how he is always here for me and in turn I vowed to always be there for him. Giving out a long sigh I practically face plant on my bed. Knowing that he would never want me, I mean for golly sakes he's Kenny and I'm just Butters honestly messes with my head sometimes. Which is funny because Kenny's always messing with my head himself. Just by the way he touches me... I know he just does it for no exact reason, but it's like sparks shocking my skin and I just let him. I guess I like torturing myself.

Oh, and yes I'm bi-sexual, I finally realized (admitted to myself) that I was when I was in the 7th grade and I came out to my parents and everyone freshmen year of high school. Kenny is straight, and sadly I just know he wouldn't go for someone like me even if was attracted guys. Sometimes I wish that he knew just how I feel. I've honestly never had to work this hard to get any guy I ever wanted but I really don't want to ruin our friendship. So if ignoring my body's wants is what it takes to keep things between Ken and I the same then I'll do it.

Well, in the meantime even though I'm a little weary I can't wait until tomorrow for Kenny's plan B. How does a person like me even have a friend like Kenny, I don't deserve him as my friend. Kenny is a great person, he's really nice, and so freaking hot. Looking down I spot the embarrassing tent in my pants.

"Butters dinner's ready! And your mother and I expect you to come down this instant or you will be grounded for two weeks mister!"

Oh, hamburgers. I try to get rid of my lopsided smile, debating between taking care of my hard on or going downstairs with a raging hard on. It didn't take long to decide that I'm not up for leaving my room.

Unbuttoning my white jeans I push my jeans down to my waist along with my underwear enough to free myself. Taking me in one hand I pump away, barely able to stifle any of my moans with my plush white pillow.

When I finally release I reach over onto the nightstand and grab a couple tissues to cleanup the mess I made. Pulling my underwear (which were pink and white stripe hello kitty today) up I decide take off my jeans completely, trading it for my comfy blue pajamas before falling asleep exhausted.