Old Habits Die Hard Pt.1

"You all are to write a one page paper, m'kay about your time here in detention. M'kay the paper will be collected at the end of this session. Any questions?" Mr. Mackey looks around the very large library. When no one raises their hand or says anything he continues handing out paper and tiny little pencils.

"What a load crap!" I say as Mr. Mackey sits a paper and pencil down without an eraser in front of me,

"What is this, The Breakfast Club?"

"No Eric, this is detention, m'kay. And you're here because-"

"Alright, alright, whatever, I know why I'm here," I say dismissively before picking up the short little pencil. What the fuck is this? I could totally crush this with the palm of my hand if I tried. I drop the pencil back on the table in annoyance already.

After Mr. Mackey finished handing out papers and pencils he stands to the front of the room again, "Anyone who fails to turn in a paper by the end of detention adds on another day of detention," Mr. Mackey leaves the room and the sound of the metal door closing echoes in the huge room.

(*)

Great. Just fucking great. I'm stuck here in detention when I could be doing a million other things. One of them being tormenting the shit out of people. I mean come the fuck on! Its a fucking Friday, and Heidi's party is tonight. That fucking bitch, hiring security to keep me out? Me?! Where the hell they do that at? Its not like she didn't deserve what I did to her.

No one knows what really happened, and what really happened is that I dumped that hoe. Yeah, she cried and what not, I felt a little bad for a little bit, but that's it. All of that stuff she did that day in the halls were just plain fake and dramatic, just to make me look like an even bigger douche than I already am, which is futile if you ask me.

And the fucking cherry on top is that I'm stuck in this hell hole with two freshmen girls. One that is dead set on finishing her paper, and the second who keeps eyeing me and I'm about to take her up on her offer. And Gary Harrison. Seriously, the fuck did this guy do? I know anybody can be able to tell that Gary isn't the same Mr. 'I'm-Gullible-because-I-choose-to-be'. He still likes to play that guy card, but I'm soooo unconvinced. I mean come on you gotta do better than that, even better that he leaves marks.

Annie Nelson wasn't the only one he's fucked and fucked over there's plenty others and I'm just waiting for the day they all form some sort of 'He fucked us 'literally' club to come banging his face in. Now that'd be a sight to see, I wouldn't want to miss angry high school, college, and a couple adults giving the bastard what he deserves. But who am I to talk about what someone deserves, I'm just as bad, maybe even worst. Nah, I'm pretty convinced I'm worst.

Damn, I wish I had my phone right now. To at least see what normal people that don't have to sit in stupid detention are doing. It should be me out there, you know, enjoying life and posting shit eating smiles on facebook and instagram and tweeting out how bored I am with my awesome life. But fuck no, I'm stuck here in this shithole. Picking up the pencil I begin to write this stupid one page paper that I finish within 10 minutes tops.

Flinging the pencil god knows where in the room I kick my feet up on the medium length mahogany desk, leaning back in my chair. After at least 30 minutes pass I get this nagging feeling in my gut that someone is watching me. I brush it off to just being the girl who wants to hook up with me and close my eyes, but after probably 4 minutes it's still there.

Looking behind me I see that the girl who was staring at me earlier was now talking to the other girl about something I could really care less about. She winks at me when she sees me looking that way and I flash her a charming smile that makes her giggle and turn back to her friend. Not them then-

"Hey, do you have a fucking problem?" I ask meeting the eyes of Gary.

"No," Gary says simply, "But I suppose you do?"

"Yeah, I have a problem and it's that huge hole in your face, so if you want to keep it I suggest you close it."

"But wouldn't you rather it be open?" Gary says wiggling his eyebrows.

I sit up straight, letting the chair legs touch the floor, "Dude, what the fuck are you on?" I rake Gary with a disgusted glare. This ass fuck did not just try to come on to me.

Gary doesn't say anything, but grins at me, "Just stop staring at me or I'll-"

"You'll what?" Gary asks nonchalantly as he stands and makes his way over to me, "Pummel my ass, fuck me up?" Gary sits on the top of my table and smirks at me.

The actual fuck, did he just fucking tease me, and smirk at me, tauntingly at that. Who the fuck does he think he's baiting on? I'm about two seconds from ruining this guy's entire life.

"So, I heard you couldn't get in Heidi's party tonight. You are still plotting to get in aren't you?"

'The fuck?' "Yeah, so what?"

"I know a way you can get in the party without Heidi or her little minions knowing."

I stare at Gary trying to figure him out. Why is he doing this, hell, why is he even talking to him right now, "No way. What's in it for you?" I automatically ask causing Gary to raise an eyebrow, smirk widening.

"Nothing."

"Bull-fucking-shit. You want something, I know you do, people like us always want something."

"People like us?" Gary asks skeptically, but smirk unwavering. I roll my eyes.

"You're not the innocent little 'I'm so nice' Gary that you used to be. You're something else."

"What?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'll find out. I always do."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Eric," Gary says causing me to arch an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I will."

"I know you may be the best at mind games like these Eric, but this code you may never crack."

Its silent for a moment in which the we just stare at each other or in my case glare at each other before Gary speaks, "So are you going to take me up on my offer?"

"Depends on what you're offering, fully offering that is," I narrow my eyes which causes

Gary to laugh, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just you're so dead set on trying to figure me out. You shouldn't stress yourself out like that."

"Whatever, but I'm not agreeing until you tell me what the fuck you want from me."

"Shh, such crude language," Gary says with a serious face only for it to break a second later and return to its amused state, "Okay, I relent. I'm really just in need of someone to talk to. Someone that can understand these crazy thoughts running through my head."

I stare at Gary as if he suddenly grew two heads, "Okay, let me get this straight. You want me...to be your friend," I snort, "You must really be on some serious shit."

"Come on, I'm not too bad," Gary says smiling disgustingly at me, "Well, atleast I don't think so."

"Bite me asshat," I say in return, ignoring Gary smiling at me.

"Hey now, you keep throwing out suggestive terms like these, it'll never work."

"Why me," I ask becoming irritated by Gary's light hearted attitude despite me being an asshole to him.

"Why not? And like I said I feel like you may can understand me."

After another round of tense silence, I cover my face with my hands and with a groan look up at Gary, "Alright, but you're really going to have to stop staring at me, and making everything so suggestive."

"I'll try, but it's not guaranteed. Old habits die hard," Gary shrugs before smiling at me as I slam my head down on the table, face first.

"I swear if you fucking come on to me again…"

"I won't, I pinky swear," Gary says and I just lifts my head to give Gary a dull look. When Gary shows no signs of relenting I take his pinky promise.

"Okay, what's this plan of yours?" I question finally after trying to withhold myself from finding that pencil I threw and stabbing myself in the neck.

Gary clasps his hands together excitedly, "Okay, well first.."

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

Sharon M.

"Hey mom."

"Hey sweetheart," I reply tiredly to Stan as he lounged on the couch watching tv. I take off my brown pea coat and hang it on the coat rack nearby before slipping off my shoes as well and sitting them near the door.

I mentally sigh just thinking about being on call, I know I'm going to get called in to work tonight. I always do. Hell's Pass is always busy Friday nights.

And being a nurse just makes it harder, well a nurse that actually cares and enjoys her job. I sit on the sofa next to Stan and try to rest for a minute and get the feeling back in my sore and numb feet from standing and running around all day. I don't mind though I'm use to it, it's just part of the job that all nurses have to endure.

I sigh contently at the soft cushions, not really paying attention to what Stan is watching and smile when he wraps an arm around my shoulder and mushes his face close to mine in a one arm hug. He is so warm, such a cutie pie. Him and Shelly are my reminder everyday for why I do what I do from the time I wake up in the morning to the time I fall asleep at night.

During the second time Randy and I split when Stan was 10 and Shelly 13 I decided to go back to school. I took online classes at Colorado State University and completed all the way up to my bachelors of science degree in nursing. During that time I worked full time at Tom's Rhinoplasty to make income and be able to support my education as well as my children's.

Now I just work half-time at the clinic and full-time at Hell's Pass. Even though I don't need to work 2 jobs now that Randy and I are back together and he makes a hefty amount as a geologist I like occupying my time with things I enjoy.

I kiss Stan's head before they pull away, "What're you watching," I asks Stan who is still staring intently at the tv screen.

"Just a re-run of last nights Terrance and Phillip. Waiting for some more promo on when Asses of Fire 4 is coming out."

I nod before asking, "How was your day?"

"Alright, how was yours?"

"Good as usual." Lie. We had four close calls today because two of the doctors felt the need to hook up with each other twice in the same day.

"That's great mom," Stan says smiling at me before returning his attention to the tv. I pat his head before standing and walking in the kitchen.

Going over to the cupboards I began looking for something to cook only to notice a yellow sticky note on the counter. In Randy's small chicken scratch writing it says, 'Sharon, I made dinner already. Its in the oven.' I open the oven and see that Randy made a chicken alfredo casserole and also another sticky note. This one says, 'We need to talk :-)' I slightly stiffen as I read the small underlined words, even though he drew a smiley face at the end I still have a tightening in my gut.

Why should I even feel this way? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Aren't I supposed to be leaving notes for him to find so we could talk? No. This is strange and out of the ordinary for Randy. Balling up the yellow note and the one that was attached to the countertop I throw them both in the trash bin. With a sigh I try to think about this week's events. What could make Randy actually want to to talk because the last thing on my mind right now is talking with Randy.

(*)

I turn the stove on to heat the food up and when it's done and I have set everything up I call Stan to the table to eat. We eat and I hear about both Stan's day and I tell him about min and after dinner I facetime Shelly so she can tell me about her day. Shelly is very excited that her and her boyfriend Casey are going to some festival next weekend. I smile at her enthusiasm and the way her eyes light up at the mention of Casey.

Even though Shelly was young when her crush Larry Feegan died she still carried that heart break with her through her teens. She would date other people, but none of those relationships ever worked out. When Shelly met Casey freshmen year at Colorado State they started out as friends, but eventually Casey began to break through Shelly's defenses and I've never seen my little shell look so happy! Casey is a really nice guy that we all like and likes Shelly for who she is and they are still going strong during their sophomore year.

I express my enthusiasm at being able to see her later on tonight whenever she makes it after her last class. I remind myself to call her to check in later if I have to go back into work tonight.

Around 8:30 I retreat to my room and Stan mentions something about going out later. In the confines of my room I immediately head to the bathroom and run a hot soothing bath for myself. Once the water is ready I get in and sink in to my shoulders, my muscles instantly relax. After 30 well needed minutes in the tub I get out and dress in my white with pink trim night gown and curl up on the bed with a book I've been dying to read.

When I'm sure an hour has passed and I feel myself dozing off even though it's 9:20 I remove my glasses and sit them on the nightstand along with my book. Throwing my legs over the bed, I stand up to turn the lights out only for the door to open.

"Randy," I say a little surprised before moving back so he can enter.

"Hi Sharon," Randy kisses me on the cheek softly before walking inside the room."Did you get my notes." He asks sitting on the bed.

"Yes," I say looking away and giving a small nod even though Randy couldn't see it.

Randy doesn't change out of his clothes and into his usual pair of plaid navy pajama pants before going into the bathroom and brushing his teeth. And I ignore the itch I have to ask him where he's going tonight.

I just sit on the bed still trying to figure out what Randy wants to talk about. Was it something I did? Probably, maybe this is how all guys feel when their wives suddenly want to 'talk'. I frown. Watching as Randy gargles I get the impression that Randy is trying to prolong this. Maybe he's thinking of something to say?

Finally Randy shuts off the bathroom light and sits on the bed next to me. Seeing my frown Randy asks, voice laced in concern, "Are you okay shar?"

"Yes, um what is it you want to talk about?"

"Oh, yeah, talk," Randy says rubbing the back of his neck. Really, did he seriously forget what he wrote on that sticky note?"Well, Sharon I love that you're working so hard and that you are doing the things that you enjoy. And you know that whatever makes you happy makes me happy as well, but-"

Here it comes, I wait patiently for the blow, "I think we really need to have sex."

I freeze. Did I just hear that right? "What?"

Randy closes his eyes like it's hurting him more just to continue, "I'm...feeling disconnected from you. We need to spend some time together, just the two of us."

I can't believe her own ears. What?! "Why?" I decide to ask.

Randy gives an un-amused laugh, "Sharon we don't spend anytime with each other anymore. All we do is sleep in the same bed and even then," Randy looks pained again, "You don't even want to cuddle or anything."

My mind is still riddling out of control, but my mouth at least seems to be working as I touch my palm to Randy's face, "I'm sorry. I know we've been kind of separate lately. And I know how hard it is for you to even tell me so, but...I'm not really in the mood for sex right now."

Randy looks like a sad kicked puppy which makes my heart clench and almost reconsider, but it only lasts for a moment before Randy nods and kisses my cheek before kissing me back and standing.

I stand after Randy leaves and turn out the light getting in on my side. Before I fall asleep I stare at the empty spot next to me. I ghost my hand over the exact spot where Randy would lay and I imagine watching his back as it slowly rises and falls signaling him being in a deep sleep. Most nights I just wonder what he thinks about. How warm he feels when I would touch my flat palm upon his back. 'If only you knew...I want to, so bad, but I just don't know how to tell you…' I would whisper in his ear, but he wouldn't hear me, he never does.