Chapter 8: New Blood and Old Wounds Part 2

It was 10 in the morning when a surprisingly colorful small car pulled into the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's parking lot. It drove around for a few minutes, its driver searching for a place to park before settling for an empty spot near the edge of the gate. The sole occupant lit himself a cigarette and sighed heavily as he finished it in his car. "What I wouldn't do for a Cuban!" He grumbled to himself as he climbed out of the car, his mouth only craving more tobacco and from a richer source.

Krusty the Clown made his way across the long lot toward the power plant.

As he walked through the doorway, part of him expected, even somewhat hoped, that someone, anyone would recognize him and shout things along the lines of "Hey look, It's Krusty!" or "Wow! Is that Krusty?" or "Hey Krusty! Can I have your autograph?"

But no such luck. While there were many employees in the entrance lobby, all of them were either busy with their work or had their faces glued to their phones. Not a single soul in the room acknowledged Krusty. It was as if he was a ghost lost to the living world. In some ways, that was the case. Things just hadn't been the same for the poor clown since he lost the rights to his bread and butter, also known as Itchy and Scratchy. His career was a sinking ship and he was going down with it, not because he was the Captain and it was the honorable thing to do but because all the lifeboats and life preservers had been taken.

Today, he was sending a flare for rescue from this sinking ship and praying that the only man who could see it would come to his aid.

Stumbling through the hallways like a phantom, Krusty made his way toward the office of one C. Montgomery Burns. The cybernetic billionaire and his fully human lackey were waiting for him already, their cold gazes following the clown as he walked in and took a seat. Burn's robotic eye scanned Krusty before he began to speak.

"Well, well well. If it isn't my good friend...eh.." Smithers, realizing his boss had forgotten the clown's name, ran up to him and whispered it in his ear. "Ahhh...Crunchy! So good to see you!"

Krusty decided to ignore the misnaming for the time being. It was in his best interest to stay on Mr. Burn's good side and he knew it. "Hey, Mr. Burns. It's been a long time huh?"

"Oh yes!" Burns agreed. "Ever since that traitor Lindsey Neagle went Democrat, the Springfield Republican party has quite literally fallen to pieces! Why, if I remember correctly, the only remaining members are you, me, Birch Barlow, and Sideshow Bob."

"Um, sir. Sideshow Bob's been incarcerated for years now and Birch choked to death on fried chicken last month." Smithers informed him

"Oh dagnammit!" Burns raised his fist with the intent to smash them against his desk. However, at that moment, the old man remembered how frail his arms bones were and looked toward Smithers. "Smithers, if you please?" He asked.

"Of course sit." With an angry grunt, Smithers smashed his fist against the desk, causing Krusty to jump. Burns put his arms back down with hearty laughter. "Oh well. I guess it's just the two of us then unless the Rich Texan ever decides to come back from his gun-trotting home state."

"Yeah..Rich Texan.." Krusty tapped his fingers against his knees for a moment. "Listen, Mr. Burns, didn't you say you have something for me?"

"Huh?" Burn's face lit up when he suddenly remembered why it was that he had summoned Krusty here in the first place. "Oh, that's right! Smithers, help me up."

Smithers did as he was told and propped Burns up with a loud crack. The old man began to pace around Krusty, the bulk of his life-sustaining machinery attached to his shirtless torso like a backpack. "Crunchy, I'm sure that you know as well as I do that the world has changed. Everyone's got rights these days and rich people are seen as the *gasp* bad guys! Can you believe it?"

"I sure can." Krusty droned, recalling an incident last year where a bunch of people on Chitter tried to get him canceled because he once did a skit wearing a Native American headdress back in the 60s and they were calling it cultural appropriation. Thankfully, a scandal involving Rainier Wolfecastle possibly not actually being from Germany took the heat off but not before his own Chitter account was hacked and filled to the brim with pictures of buffalo for some reason. Kids these days.

"People just don't have any respect for the old ways anymore!" Burns continued as he walked up to what appeared to be some sort of picture covered by a tarp. "Well, I say poppycock to that! We'll just have to show them the merit in doing things the old fashion way!" He pulled on the tarp with one hand, quickly realized that he couldn't get it off, and tried again with both hands. When that failed, he pushed a button on the machine attached to his back and tried again, this time finally pulling the tarp off and revealing a giant poster displaying circus animals being whipped by a ringmaster. The wide smile plastered on the man's face unnerved Krusty a little. "Behold!" Burns called out. "The Burns Imagination Circus of Dreams!"

"A circus?" Krusty asked. "You own a circus?"

"Ah! Not just any circus!" Burns pointed out. "The Burns Imagination Circus of Dreams is the only circus in North America that still uses real animals as opposed to those new-fangled holograms everyone uses nowadays." Burns scoffed as he said this. "Ever since that damned Circus Gnade introduced the concept, every circus in America has traded their whips and cages for techies and fancy lasers! To Hell with them! To Hell with all of them, I say!"

"Wow. You uh, sure feel strongly about this don't you?" Krusty asked.

"Mr. Burns used to love the circus as a child," Smithers explained. "And his favorite parts involved the animals."

"Ah yes." Burns agreed. "Tigers jumping through hoops of fire! Lion tamers keeping the beast at bay. The elephant stomping on those clowns in such a hilarious fashion!"

"Um, sir? That wasn't an act but a tragic accident that took the lives of 12." Smithers corrected.

"Eh, potato, potahto." Burns turned back to the poster and sighed dreamily. "Either way, we bought the circus from the original owners after that debacle, brought on a homeless bum as the ringmaster and for all this time, we've been turning a profit from afar as the circus's backer." Burns sighed, this time mournfully. "But as of late, the circus has hit a bit of a snag. You see, that damned bum went Hollywood and ran off to do shampoo commercials!"

"How did that happen?" Krusty asked.

"Apparently, he became quite the looker once he shaved that beard of his and got offered a contract." Burns shook his head. "Never mind that now! The point is, I need a new ringleader. A new face to lead the Burns Imagination Circus of Dreams into a new dawn and after some careful thought and consideration, I have decided that you would be the best person for the job Crunchy!"

"Me!?" Krusty choked. "B-But why me?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Burns asked. "You're a clown! Who better to run a circus than one of the painted performers that made them so famous!"

"I don't know," Krusty scratched his chin. "I may be a clown but I'm more of the showbiz variety! I've never worked in the circus before!" He sighed. "Oh I don't mean to sound ungrateful Mr. Burns but I was sorta hoping that when you called me here, maybe you had something that could save my career!"

"Ah, but this is it!" Burns gestured toward the sign. "Krusty, the circus has been around for far longer than that damned idiot box known as television. Why, one could say it was the original showbiz! What better way to revitalize your career than to take it back to the basics!? Besides, if you take this job, you'll still be in charge as the ringmaster!" Burns inched toward Krusty and brought his face close to his ear. "Or would you rather lose it all and hire yourself out for little brat's birthday parties, spending your days surviving on leftover birthday cake and getting false donkey tails pinned into your butt!?"

Krusty gulped. "Ah, Mr. Burns is right! I'm up shit creek without a paddle in sight! My ratings are crap! My entourage is getting ready to strike any day now and Mr. Teeny just isn't the cuddly little chimp he used to be." A memory of said chimp nearly tearing the arm off an intern who Krusty sent to feed him this morning flashed across his mind. "Ever since I lost Itchy & Scratchy, It's been one giant downward spiral into the toilet! If something doesn't change soon, I'll be flushed!"

Burns seemed to notice Krusty's internal turmoil, fought the urge to smile, and gently placed his hand on the clown's shoulder. "My dear Crusty," He cooed. "I'm offering you this chance because you're a dear friend of mine! We businessmen have to stay together no? This big top might be your last chance to stay on top! So what do you say? Hmm?"

"I say..Oww! Sweet Oy Gutt! My shoulder! You're crushing my shoulder!" Having forgotten about his enhanced limb mode while "comforting" Krusty, Burns was accidentally reducing the clown's shoulder to paste.

"Whoopies" Burns said. "Let me just..eh..." Try as he might, Burns could not get his hand to relinquish the clown. "Smithers! Help!"

"Of course sir." Smithers walked up behind Burns and turned off the enhancement mode, causing Burn's arm to release the clown. Krusty fell to the floor with a thud, groaning to himself as uttering Jewish cuss words under his breath as he rubbed his injured shoulder.

"Sorry about that old fellow," Burns said innocently. "Sometimes I don't know my own strength. So, about that deal.."

"I'll do it!" Krusty answered. "I'll run the circus. Just promise me 75% of the cut!"

"25%" Burns shouted.

"50%" Krusty argued.

"49%"

"Alright deal!" Krusty agreed. "Now can someone get me some ice for my shoulder?"

"I'm sure there's an ice machine near the dumpster outside," Burns said as he walked to his desk and pressed a small yellow button underneath it. "Goodbye!"

"Huh?" A giant trapdoor opened underneath Krusty and the clown fell down screaming into the abyss below.

"Smithers will bring the circus to your studio later on today!" Burns called out before closing the trapdoor. Smithers walked up to him and began to reattach the tubes to his boss's back. "Mr, Burns." He said. "While I'm glad you took the rare opportunity to be charitable to Krusty, do you really think it's wise to let him start up the circus here in Springfield with that animal rights lunatic on the loose?"

"Ah yes, The Avenger of Animals. I have forgotten about that headache!" As if to emphasize this, Burns rubbed his head. "Well, if worse comes to worst, better the clown than me."

"Smart thinking sir." Smithers agreed as he plugged another tube in.

Burns nodded and relaxed as his lackey continued to plug in his life support, smiling to himself. "Oh yes. The Animal Avenger. What a rotten pain in the behind you are!" He thought. "I wonder what nefarious schemes your evil mind is up to even now...

"This is the place," Lisa said to herself upon stopping her bike on the hill overlooking the Springfield Tire Fire. The smell of burning asphalt assaulted her nostrils and she fought the urge to gag. She had always hated this place, ever since she was a little girl. It pained her to know that one of the biggest contributions to the destruction of the Earth's atmosphere was sitting smack dab in the middle of her town. Part of her felt tempted to grab her water bottle, rush up to the fire and spill the liquid all over it in the hopes of finally expelling the flames once and for all. But instead, she sighed heavily, planted her kickstand into the dirt and began to search the hill.

"From the position of the Tire Fire in the video, I know this is the right place." Lisa reconfirmed for herself. "Now I just need to find some clues." It was a windy Tuesday afternoon and school had let out. Bart had gone to Milhouse's to play video games and the rest of the family remained back in the house, Marge no doubt tending to some much-needed chores. As for Lisa, she had taken it upon herself to search for anything that might lead her to her next target. "I still can't believe one of these fake animal rescue sickos is actually in my own backyard. It makes me sick to my stomach!"

"ever the bleeding heart, aren't you partner?"

"Huh?" Lisa looked around frantically. Try as she might, she could not find a single soul on top of the hill beside herself. "W-Who was that?" Lisa groaned and rubbed her temples. "No! It's not real! It's just a figment of my imagination!"

"figment of your imagination? Ah, I'm hurt! Is that any way to speak of your only true friend?"

"Ignoring you now!" Lisa grumbled as she continued her search. Since yesterday, she had been plagued by this strange voice. At first, she thought it was just her imagination, and part of her still fought to keep that theory. But there were certain things about the nature of this voice that made Lisa worry. For one thing, the voice just didn't sound like hers. It sounded feminine, sure but that was the extent of the similarities it had with Lisa's own voice. It was as if a stranger was talking inside her head.

Another thing that bothered Lisa was the voice's insistence that she find the man soon. Of course, Lisa intended to find him and intended to kill him but something about the voice's excitement when talking about how the man was to be punished unnerved her. As if it looked forward more to causing the death of a human being than to protecting an innocent life.

Lisa shook all thoughts of the voice away and focused on finding something, anything, that would lead her to the torturous Youtuber. As she surveyed the tall grass, she spotted a blackened object peeking out from the green blades. As she made her way to it, she realized it was a tire.

One that had been previously burning in the Tire Fire behind her.

"Bingo!" Lisa lifted the tire and examined it thoroughly. It had long stopped smoldering, leaving only the melted ridges to indicate it was ever on fire. Traces of tar still remained inside the tube, some of it even staining Lisa's fingertips. Lisa looked around for any trail that could lead her to the prep but the closest she was able to find was more tar stains on the ground near the tire. "Whoever made that video brought the tire up here before pouring the tar in!" Lisa smacked her head. "Of course, I should have figured that! My head is not on straight today!"

"the real question is, is it ever on straight?"

"I told you to shut up!" Lisa demanded. "You're not real! You're just the result of me not getting enough sleep!" Lisa giggled to herself. "That's right! All I have to do is get some sleep and you'll go away!"

"oh. so if you get a good night's sleep, i'm supposed to magically go away? sounds like specious reasoning to me."

"Don't you use specious reasoning against me! Why'd I outta-

"Hey crazy girl talking to herself!" A country-heavy accent called out.

Lisa froze like a deer in headlights, her hands still on the tire. Slowly, and with her cheeks heating up, Lisa turned to see Cletus Spuckler a few feet away from her. Age had been mostly kind to the local yokal who now sported a white beard and a cleaner shirt than he normally used to wear. With most of his kids either in school or in prison, He mostly just worked around town and lived with his wife Brandine. As it turned out, one of his odd jobs was working for the company that owned the Fire Tire lot.

"I don't mean to interrupt your conversation with your imaginary friend but could you please roll that there tire to me? The boss has been looking for it forever!"

Her face burning as hot as the rubbery inferno before her, a mortified Lisa gently rolled the tire to Cletus. Not helping matters was the voice, the invisible menace that caused this is the first place, laughing her ass off inside Lisa's head.

"Much obliged!" Cletus happily clucked as her grabbed the tire and headed back to the Tire Fire.

"so much for that clue. guess it's back to square one, eh partner?"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Lisa barked as she hopped back on her bike and rode off the hill.

"Oh Nelson," Jessica cooed as she stepped out of the changing booth. "What do you think about this one?" On her body rested an ocean-blue dress with a giant sapphire below the neckline. She twirled around to better display the dress to her boyfriend Nelson who, his mind miles away with thoughts of football and his own hunger, simply replied with a shrug.

"Ugh!" Jessica growled. "Nelson, you've been shrugging at all the dresses I've shown you so far! How am I supposed to pick out the perfect one if you can't even contribute?"

"What's the big deal?" Nelson asked. "It's just a dress isn't it?"

"Just a-" Jessica stopped herself, took a deep breath and placed her arms on her hips. "Nelson Muntz, do you even know what's coming up in three weeks?"

"Uhhh. That new CSI show?" He asked dumbly.

"The senior prom!" Jessica corrected. "The most important event in any teen girl's life. It is absolutely essential that that night goes perfectly for me and so far you haven't done jack squat to help out!" Forcing crocodile tears from her eyes, Jessica turned her back on Nelson. "I'm beginning to think you don't care about me after all!"

In truth, Nelson really wasn't all that attracted to Jessica. At most, he'd admit she was beautiful and did sometimes wonder what she looked like naked. But even he wasn't made of stone and so as Jessica sniffled into her hands, he found himself eaten up by guilt. "Dammit." He sighed before walking up to Jessica and placing his hands on her bare shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry ok." He apologized. "You know how us guys are. Proms weddings, second weddings. We just aren't built for that kind of crap." He made her face him. "But if it's really that important to you, I'll start pitching in."

Jessica wiped her tears away with one final sniff. "Oh Nelson. You're so romantic."

After a few more minutes of trying on dresses, Jessica settled for three that she would choose from later and she and Nelson made their way to the food court. The Springfield Mall wasn't all that busy today and so there were practically no lines at any of the stands and Nelson's gaze fell right on "Mr. Meaty's Pizza."

"Let's get Mr. Meaty's!" He suggested. "I've been dying to try their hot wings!"

Jessica pouted. "But Nelson, you know what greasy food does to my complication! How about we try Juniper's instead?" She pointed to a green stand with a single woman behind it. The menu consisted mostly of low-fat meals and salads, none of which appealed to Nelson nor looked like they could fill him up.

"I don't know." He said.

"Come on!" Jessica pulled him toward Junipers and with a sigh, Nelson coincided. It always seemed to be like this, ever since he and Jessica had started dating. What she wanted, she got and the most Nelson's words would get were a mostly polite rebuttal. Nelson didn't let himself become bothered at first but lately, it was starting to get on his nerves. Nevertheless, he swallowed his annoyance and ordered a chicken salad while Jessica got the regular. Once they obtained their food, the hottest couple in Springfield found a lone table and sat down to eat.

"So me and Bart having been helping Milhouse to put on a little bit of muscle," Nelson spoke through a full mouth. "It's not too much but I think he's actually getting the hang of those weights." Nelson swallowed his mouthful and plunged his fork into his salad, making sure that the tine cut through a piece of chicken. Once he had run out of chicken, he intended to throw the rest of the salad away. "You know, in a weird way, I'm actually kinda proud of him."

Nelson looked up from his food to his girlfriend and found her scrolling on her phone, not a single one of his words having made it to her ears. "Oh God," She giggled under her breath. That dress with those shoes? She cannot think that's a good look for her!"

"Babe?" Nelson asked, trying and failing to mask the annoyance in his voice.

"Huh?" Jessica finally tore herself away from the phone. "Did you say something, love?"

Nelson sighed. "No." He replied dryly. "Nothing."

"Ok." Jessica shamelessly returned to her phone as Nelson quietly munched on his salad which was quickly running out of chicken chunks.

"OMG! Is that Jessica and Nelson?" A shrill voice called out from the sidelines. The couple turned toward the direction of the voice and found Jessica's friends, Janey and Alex, heading toward them with gusto. A wide grin on her face, Jessica finally turned off her phone and placed it inside her purse. "Guys! I was wondering when the hell you were gonna show up!"

"Sorry we're late!" Janey apologized. "My folks took away my driving license after last week's incident and this one here can't drive for shit." She slightly tapped Alex on the back and for a moment, Nelson thought he could hear actual malice in Janey's voice, thinly disguised by a happy, peppy, crappy tone.

"Chill will ya?" Alex defended. "I just got my license." She stared daggers at Janey as she said this and Nelson thought back to all the times he'd seen exchanges like this amongst Jessica and her friend group, (It was a lot, especially for a single weekend.) He wondered if what these girls had was actually friendship. Completely ignorant of Nelson's ponderings, Alex shook her head, bared her teeth in a big toothy smile and asked Jessica if they could sit down with her.

"Be my guest!" Jessica invited. "Juniper's is right over there." She pointed to the low-fat restaurant behind them and watched as they went to fetch their orders. As they came back with their food, she got up and sat next to Nelson, nestling her face into his orange jacket. He smiled at this. As uncertain as he was about their relationship, it did feel nice when she gave him physical contact.

"So," Janey began as she brought a forkful of salad to her mouth. "What were you two lovebirds doing?"

"Just shopping for my prom dress." Jessica answered dreamily. "It's only three weeks away you know?"

"Oh I know!" Alex sighed. "And I still haven't found a date!"

"Really?" Janey held her hand to her mouth. "That's so pathetic!"

"Do you have a date for the prom?" Alex asked angrily.

Janey blushed and stared down at her feet. "N-No..."

"Ha! Then shut up!"

"Girls, girls!" Jessica waved her hands. "Ease up! It'll be ok! There's still some time left!"

"Well yeah but, how are we gonna find the right guy to take?" Janey asked.

"Yeah!" Alex agreed. "All the hot ones are either taken, gay or dead!"

"True but you know what they say, you've got to work with what you've got. Besides, at this point, I'm sure the poor saps out there would jump at the chance to date either of you."

"Do you really think so?" Alex asked.

Jessica nodded before taking a sip of her lemon tea. "I mean, let's face it. It's either you guys, the twins from the Shining, or..ugh.." She shuddered. "The band geeks!"

Nelson stopped pulling the last piece of chicken from his salad into his mouth. The mention of band brought to mind a certain starfish-haired girl.

"Oh! Don't even get me started on those losers!" Janey spoke. "You know, I heard that new student, what was her name, Clement or something, she's sighed up for the available trumpet seat?"

"What happened to the last guy that had that seat?" Alex asked.

"He was Marty Singleback." Jessica explained. "You all know what happened to him."

All four of them shuddered as they remembered the horrifying, mortifying, apocalyptic fate of Marty Singleback. But that's a story for another time.

"Anyway, she's only been here for like a day and she's already thrown away any chance of popularity out the window!"

"That's just what happens when you join band, it literally sucks the cool from you." Both Janey and Alex burst into laughter.

"It's just the natural order of the high school world. Everyone's got their little role to play. The geeks have band. The closeted gays have drama, and the dumb jocks have football."

The chicken fell off of Nelson's plastic fork, bounced off the edge of the table and landed next to his foot. He closed his mouth but his expression did not change. Instead he waited until Jessica had finished up her conversation with her apparent "friends" and they were making their way through the mall again. Once they turned the corner past the Not Tropic store, Nelson began to speak.

"Babe, what the hell was that?"

"What the hell was what?" Jessica asked innocently, once again scrolling through her phone for post to judge.

"That comment on jocks. On high school in general! Don't you think that was a little...uncool?"

"What are you talking about?" Jessica's eyes narrowed but she didn't bother looking at Nelson. Annoyed with her aloofness, Nelson growled and grabbed the phone from her hands. "Hey!" She tried to grab it but he held it high over his head and out of reach. Jessica found herself comically jumping up and down against Nelson, trying to grab her phone. "What the fuck's your problem?"

"My problem is that my girlfriend likes to talk shit about me right in front of me!" Nelson answered calmly. "Look Jessica, I may not be the smartest tool in the shed but I'm no idiot either!"

"Quit. Being. So. Damn. Sensitive!" With a final jump, Jessica finally managed to reclaim her phone from Nelson's grip. She bent over and panted for a moment, out of breath from all that jumping and clutched her phone against her chest to safeguard it from Nelson who made no move whatsoever to get it back. "What is with you?" She finally asked. "Can't you take a fucking joke?"

"Really? Didn't seem like much of a joke to me."

Jessica growled. "Look Nelson, you may be the captain of the football team but I am the queen of this school! Not a single student right now exists that ranks above me in anyway and that includes you! You should be grateful I even give you the time of day, let alone go out with you!"

"Well just this in, I'm not!" And with that, Nelson stormed off, leaving a fuming Jessica to seethe quietly.

"And this morning, Christy told me to buy another dozen bunches of bananas!" Lenny complained. "I mean, I know women go through pregnancy cravings and all that but come on already! Does she think bananas grow on trees?"

"Uh," Carl was about to explain to his dearest friend that bananas do in fact grow on trees when Homer suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs. "Moe! Get me another beet will ya?" His somewhat slurred voice indicated that he was well on his way to getting drunk.

"Yeah, coming up Homer." Moe grabbed a somewhat clean mug and filled it to the brim with Duff before sliding it to Homer.

"Thanks Moe!" Homer beamed. "Oh, can I also have another one of those new burgers of yours, They're delicioso!"

"Sure, whatever you say Homer, Moe went into the back where his lukewarm grill sat and flipped another rat patty off the surface. He grabbed a fistful of onion bits to mask the taste of rat, (not that Homer would ever notice) and reentered the bar with the burger on a plate. "Here you go!"

"Whoo-hoo!" Homer grabbed the burger and ripped a mouthful from it as Moe wiped the bar clean. So far, it had been a normal night at Moe's. The barflies were drinking, the neon Drink Duff sign behind Moe was bursting into light every few minutes before going dark again and the jukebox was blasting its 10th round of What's New Pussycat. (Homer had been on the Internet it seemed.)

But as much as Moe wanted to take his shotgun and blast the jukebox sky-high at the moment, there was another matter that he felt warranted more attention. As he watched Homer munch away at his burger, he was reminded of what Maggie had told him the other day and the look on her face as she spoke. "This blubbering idiot's always been getting in trouble with Midge." He thought. "And now it's starting to affect Mags." The aged bartender inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Here goes nothing."

"So uh Homer," He began as he finished wiping the counter. "Mags was here the other day."

"Mags?" Homer swallowed his mouthful of burger. "Who's Mags?"

Moe did not answer. Instead, he simply glared at Homer until the fat buffoon got it.

"Oh! You mean Maggie! Heh heh!"

"Yeah. She was here and uh, well I know this ain't none of my business but she was kinda down and when I asked her what was eating her, she said that you and Midge hadn't been getting along so good."

Homer stopped eating his burger and pulled it away from his lips. "I mean..maybe..." He uttered uncertainly, only to shake his head and smile. "But it's nothing serious! Just a little martial discourse!"

"Yeah well your martial discourse is stressing Mags out so why don't you apologize for whatever it is that you did to Midge and squash this already?"

Homer's expression grew annoyed. "Hey! Why do you automatically assume I'm the one at fault?"

Moe couldn't help but chuckle. "Homer, come on! It's you! I mean what could have Midge done to be at fault here? Overcook your porkchops?"

Both Lenny and Carl giggled at that but Homer gritted his teeth in anger. By now, the Duff in his system had sent him off to Drunksville and this, coupled with his already small intellect and easy-to-disrupt temper, made Homer a ticking time bomb. One Moe had just set off. "Hey! Keep your nose outta my marriage!" He shouted with a slur.

"Whoa easy Homer!" Moe rose his hands. "I was just-

"No! You listen here!" Homer suddenly got up from the stool and shoved his fat yellow finger into Moe's face, nearly pushing in his nose. "I'm a good man who works hard everyday to provide for his family. Yeah I may not be perfect! I have flaws! But I'll be dammed if I'm gonna let some...some gargoyle loser with no family tell me how to run mine!"

"Ga-Gargoyle? Hey you take that back!" Moe grabbed Homer by the collar and with his metal hand, punched him right into the jukebox, finally silencing What's New Pussycat. Lenny and Carl would have been relived to be finally free of Tom Jones screaming "Whoa-Whoaaa!" every five seconds if it weren't for Homer broken nose leaking snot-laced blood as he got back up. They rushed to his side at once. "Homer! Homer are you alright?"

"Yeah speak to us!" Carl pleaded.

Homer muttered something under his breath that neither of the men could hear. Putting his ear closer to Homer's mouth, Lenny asked, "What was that Homer?"

"I...said..." Homer spit out a wad of reddened saliva before continuing. "I said...Moe must die!" With strength neither man could have thought their husky friend ever possessed, Homer knocked Lenny and Carl down and rushed at Moe while screaming like a madman.

"You you want some? You want some!?" Moe challenged. "Come on you big-

For the second time that night, Homer interrupted Moe, this time by climbing over the counter and tackling him. The two men smashed into the array of wines and beers behind them and fell to the floor as drops of various alcohol and broken glass shards rained down upon them. They struggled on the ground, Homer trying desperately to wrap his fingers around Moe's neck and Moe pulling on Homer's face with his metal hand while pushing him away with the other.

"Allllmmmooost...IIIII...gout it!" Homer declared as he successfully gripped Moe's windpipe. His eyes bulging and his tongue lolling, Moe let go of Homer's face and tried to pry his hands away from his throat. Homer screamed in pain as Moe's metal hand slowly but surely started crushing his. It was around this time that Lenny and Carl finally recovered from their respective landings and worked to pull the dueling friends apart, Carl pulling Homer off of Moe and Lenny pulling Moe away from Homer. This proved to be difficult with Homer's weight and the strength of Moe's metal hand respectively but once it was accomplished, the duo helped the men back to their feet.

"Homer...(gasp)...you...(gasp) sorry sack of-

"Easy Moe, Easy!" Lenny tapped his friend's shoulder. "Just breathe!"

"Lousy bartender!" Homer muttered. "Trying to boss me around."

"Hey Homer calm down!" Carl urged his friend. "Look, how about we all sit down, order another round of beers and-

"No!" Homer shoved Carl away from him. "I refuse to stay in the bar of a man who thinks he knows my family better than me!" Homer stormed off toward the door.

"I know Mags!" Moe called out. "And if you keep acting this way, you're going to lose her and your wife!"

"Oh just shut up!" Homer shouted. "And by the way, your burgers taste like garbage!" With this, Homer slammed the door behind him and walked off...

...only to rush back inside, consume what was left of his burger in one gulp and quickly run out. Once it was certain that Homer was gone this time, Moe sighed and rubbed his head as Lenny and Carl sat him down on a nearby stool. "Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful."

"What's wrong Moe?" Lenny asked.

"All I was trying to do was get Homer to patch things up with his wife so they'd stop fighting in front of Mags." Moe explained. "But I think all I did was make thing so much worse."

After an unusually quiet dinner, most likely because her father was still at Moe's, Lisa retreated to her room and switched on her laptop. Her phone had received a notification that the man she was currently hunting had released a new video and as much as she hated seeing animals get mistreated for profit, given today's disappointment, Lisa figured she might as well search for more clues. So she found the video on her feed, plugged in her earphones, and started it up.

It was similar to the last video in that it seemed to be taking place on some kind of hill. The animal in peril this time was the same Labrador puppy as before, wrapped around in what looked to be rusty barbed wire. Lisa clenched her fist as she heard the poor thing yelp in pain as it's "savior" carelessly undid the wire. As the process continued, Lisa could see tiny red wounds around the puppy's body from where the barbs had dug in and clenched her teeth.

"You son of a bitch." She thought. "I'm going to find you and I swear I'll make you pay!"

"you mean we will."

"No!" Lisa slapped the sides of her head. "You're not really there! You're just my guilty conscience!"

"oh please. if i was your guilty conscience, wouldn't I be trying to get you to stop this? To maybe focus on saving the animals and leaving the poor bastard alive?"

Lisa opened her mouth to argue but couldn't. Not with that simple logic. For the briefest of moments, she even considered it

"of course, that's simply not an option for us is it? we can't leave him alive after all that he's done. people like him must be removed from this world."

"R-Right.' Lisa restarted the video. "Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to look for clues." She scanned the video for something, anything that could make her privy to the whereabouts of her target.

"if i were you, i'd check the background first."

"Huh?"

"that's how you found out he was at the springfield tire fire right?"

"Umm..yeah." Somewhat unnerved by the fact that she was taking advice from a voice in her head, Lisa placed her focus onto the background of the video. At first, it didn't seem like anything out of the ordinary. Blue sky. Green hill. White cloud hanging rather low behind the wounded puppy...

"Wait!" Lisa paused the video, took a screenshot and zoomed in. The "cloud" hanging behind the puppy had no fluffiness to it at all. It looked less like a cloud and more like...

"Could it be?" Lisa got out her phone and pulled up a picture of the Springfield Sign which loomed over the town on a great big hill. She zoomed on on the first "S" and held it against the laptop. Sure enough, the cloud perfectly matched the top of the "S"

"This bastard uploaded this video from behind the Springfield Sign!" Lisa gasped.

"congratulations nancy drew. you've cracked the case!"

"Not quite." Lisa admitted. "All we actually did was scout out another location that he's been in. There's still the matter of actually tracking him down and dispatching him."

"Ohh! i can't wait for that part! i can hear his screams already!"

"Shut up!" Lisa demanded. "Look, I'm grateful for your help but let's get something straight. Our goal, er, My goal is to save that puppy and kitten and any other animals he may be abusing and keep him from abusing any more."

"and the best way to do that is to kill him."

"Well...yes I suppose." Lisa admitted. "But saving the animal's more important."

"maybe to you, but not to me."

"We're done here." Lisa turned off the laptop and prepared for bed. She had recalled what she had theorized earlier that day and, feeling particularly exhausted after her trip to the Tire Fire, decided now was the perfect time to put it to the test. Just considering it seemed to work for the voice went silent and Lisa was able to fall to sleep without any difficulty.

When Lisa opened her eyes, she didn't realize she did as such at first. It was so pitch black around her that she thought her eyelids had failed to open. It was only when she spotted her one hand in front of her that she realized the truth and started to wander. "Where am I?" She asked to no one in particular as she continued to walk aimlessly along the inky black. She could feel a strange warm liquid on her bare feet but was too concerned with her general whereabouts to care. "Hello? Is anybody there?"

"There's no need to shout. I'm right here." A familiar voice spoke.

"Oh no!" Lisa groaned. "Not you! Get out of my head already!"

"Well that's quite rude. Telling me to get out of my own home."

"What are you talking about?" Lisa gripped her head in frustration. "I've had it with these damn games! Just who the hell are you!?"

And then Lisa heard footsteps coming toward her. They sound light and bare like hers and as they grew closer, Lisa could make out a figure emerging from the darkness. A starfish-haired teen girl clad in a t-shirt, shorts and a very familiar fox mask.

"I already told you didn't I? I'm your only true friend." She said. "And I think it's time we had a little chat."

(I would like to take this moment again to thank kittiesofcupcakes for their awesome artwork. I look forward to seeing what you make in the future as I hope you look forward to more of this story! BSC out!)