Chapter 9: New Blood and Old Wounds Part 3
"I already told you, didn't I? I'm your only true friend and I think it's time we had a little chat."
Lisa couldn't believe what she was seeing. At first, she assured herself that she had to be staring at a mirror. She and the person before her were wearing the exact same nightwear after all. But only the stranger was wearing her mask. No one but Lisa had ever worn that mask. Hardly anyone even knew she had it. And yet, there it was. The Japanese fox mask with intricate red markings on snow-white porcelain. The same mask that, to so many of her victims, was the last thing they'd ever see on this mortal plane. That mask now rested on someone else's face.
"A chat?" Lisa finally choked out. "What are you talking about? And take off that mask!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that." The doppelganger replied calmly.
"Why not?"
"Come take a closer look. I promise I won't bite."
Lisa hesitated for a moment before forcing herself to approach the girl, one painfully slow step after another. The strange liquid covering the floor continued to splash against her bare feet and this time, despite trying to ignore it, Lisa could identify it through its horrid smell. "Blood." She thought. "This entire place is covered in blood." She was so caught up in this grotesque revelation that she nearly crashed into her double. The masked Lisa didn't make a sound or even move in response. She simply stood silently and watched as her better half carefully examined her.
"This is so unreal." Lisa thought. "She's like a perfect copy of me. Down to that scar on my left arm from when Dad let Bart handle the New Year's fireworks." Lisa's gaze shifted to the double's mask and with a gentle hand, she went to remove it, to see if the imposter's face matched the rest of her body. But try as she might, she couldn't move the mask an inch off her head. She grabbed it with both hands and it still didn't budge. It was as if it was stiched onto her copy's face. "What the hell is this?" Lisa grunted as she strained to get the mask off. "Did you superglue it to your face or something?"
That's when Lisa felt another type of liquid fall onto her hands, this one cold with a slimy texture. She didn't need to smell it this time. She had been licked enough times by Santa's Little Helper to know that this was drool. With a growing sense of dread in her heart, she forced herself to look back at the copy. Her fingers, which she thought were tearing at the hem of a fox mask, were now caressing a jaw's worth of razor-sharp teeth.
"Gahhh!" Lisa tore herself away from the copy and ran back a few feet. "W-What the fuck is this?" She asked. "W-W-What are you?"
"I already told you." The being, this Beast's lower jaw fell a few inches from the top, effectively giving the "mask" an open-mouth look. Despite this, it didn't seem like the Beast needed to move this "mouth" to speak. "I'm your only true friend. The only person in this whole wide world you can trust."
"A-Are you...m-me?" Lisa asked shakily.
"In a way, yes." The Beast admitted. "To be more specific, I'm what you might call your killer instinct. Your drive to destroy those monsters that dare to call themselves human when they act anything but."
Lisa shook her head and rubbed her temples. A smile had formed on her lips but it was one born from crazed frustration rather than happiness. "No way. This can't be happening. I mean, come on! A voice in my head? A dark version of myself? What is this, some sort of cliche Creepypasta?"
"Call it whatever you want. But the fact is, you talking to the mental manifestation of your killer instinct, the embodiment of the feelings that made you the Animal Avenger in the first place and this place..." The Beast snapped her fingers, which Lisa noticed seemed slightly elongated and pointed like claws, and a single light flicked on, blinding the middle Simpson child. As she rubbed her eyes and looked away from the light, she was frozen by the horrors that lay before her.
They were in the middle of what appeared to be some sort of meat packaging plant, already upsetting Lisa's stomach. As she had guessed earlier, the floor was completely covered in blood. What truly horrified Lisa, however, was the corpses the blood was dripping from. They were human, skinned, and suspended several feet above the floor by meat hooks. Lisa looked up to see the ceiling from which these hooks hung but was only met with inky blackness, the harsh blue light in the middle acting as the only break from it. It buzzed a horrid droning sound as if it was about to give out any second.
"...This place, my home, is in your head." The Beast finished.
"N-No!" Lisa trembled as she continued to back away. "This isn't right!? This is...is..."
"Your true soul. The darkest part of your mind that you try to keep locked away from everyone. Including yourself."
"No! No!" Lisa gripped her head and sank to her knees, ignoring the blood that splashed upon them. "This is sick...this place...this isn't me. I'm not like this."
"No. Because you're the Animal Avenger right? As long as you have this mask," The Beast gestured to her face. "You are absolved of any wrongdoings right?"
"What do you want?" Lisa suddenly screamed, tears flowing from her eyes. "What is the point of all this?"
"The point is I'm tired of being restrained by what remains of your damn moral compass!" The Beast snarled back. "I'm sick of having to wait until you find another lowlife who get their kicks abusing animals to come out into the open and feed! I want more. I need more!"
"More of what? What are you..." Then it hit Lisa like an 18-wheeler and she once again found herself frozen in horror. "Wait...You...don't...
"We need to start killing indiscriminately Lisa!" The Beast shouted. "We need to let loose and slaughter whoever we want, whenever we want!"
"Y-You must be joking." Lisa forced herself back to her feet, her legs and arms now painted a sickly scarlet. Carefully, she tried to wipe one of her arms free of the gore but with her other hand covered as well, it did little good. With a sigh, she gave up and continued speaking. "You want me to start killing...for fun? What do you think I am? Some sort of sports hunter?"
"You could be. Admit it, Lisa. Over these past eight years, you've honed your skills as a hunter of man! You're the most proflic serial killer in Springfield's history! Why let your talents go to waste like this?"
"Maybe I am a killer. I can't deny that much." Lisa agreed. "But I'm not some psycho who wants to watch people die! I'm trying to make the world a better place by removing people who only make it worse!"
"You mean like Issac?"
Lisa felt a chill run down her spine. Her heartbeat became painfully apparent in her chest and she couldn't move, couldn't even speak. "Y-You know about Issac?"
"Of course I do!" The Beast snapped. "I live in your head remember? In fact, you could say I was born the day you killed Issac. You remember that day, don't you Lisa?"
"No."
"Oh but you do. We both remember it so clearly. I can tell from the look on your face that you're still haunted by Issac and the events that led up to that day. I don't blame you. After all, even if that man in the PETA van was your first victim, it all truly began with Issac."
"Enough!" Lisa roared, tearing at her head as she kept her ears covered. "I'm not gonna listen to this any longer! You're not real! None of this is real! This is just a fucked-up nightmare I'm having and I'm going to wake up right now!"
"Fine!" The Beast shouted back. "Deny me if you want! Say I'm just a figment of your imagination! But even if you convince yourself of that, you're never gonna escape the past. You can write me off because I live in your head but you can't write off Issac!"
"Shut up!"
"Or what you decided on that day."
"I said shut up!"
"You've let yourself forget because you didn't want to admit what you were becoming Lisa. But I can't stay buried forever! Sooner or later, you'll have to face the truth!"
"Shut up!"
And with a start, Lisa awakened.
Her sheets and pillow were soaked in sweat and her eyes stung from the sweat that dripped down from her forehead. She wiped it away and threw the covers off herself. From outside her window, the Sun was beginning to rise but it was still dark enough to fill Lisa's room with shadows. She sat in silence for several minutes, mentally processing her dream. It seemed so...vivid. So real. She kept waiting for it to fade away into obscurity as most dreams did but it would not. Even after a half-hour of being awake, the dream still lingered in her head.
Finally, Lisa got out of bed, walked toward the bathroom, and removed her sweat-soaked clothes. She turned the shower on and climbed inside, somewhat trembling as the sweat on her body was replaced with steaming water droplets. As she settled into the shower, The Beast's voice continued to echo in her head.
"You can write me off because I live in your head but you can't write off Issac!"
"Issac." Lisa muttered. "Why did she have to bring up Issac?" Shielding her arms with her hands. Lisa leaned against the title wall and allowed her mind to wander into a memory she had fought tooth and nail to keep at bay...
"Class, today they'll be a new student joining us." Ms. Smith chirped. "I want you to make him feel nice and welcome.
The rows of students seated before her barely reacted to the news. Not even star student, Lisa Simpson made any more than a haphazard grunt in reply. Now that she was finally in the third grade, Lisa would have imagined that she would be happy at moving on in the educational system, ready to face the academic challenges ahead and possibly, even befriend her new teacher.
And in all likelihood, she would have...if not for the crippling guilt and fear that now plagued her mind.
"PETA Worker found dead in a van of horror!" Kent Brockman had announced on the morning news a month or so ago. "Just last night, local police had discovered the body of one Vinny Wormwringer in the back of his own van which also continued the bodies of serval dogs. Evidence found at the scene suggests that Vinny, who worked for the infamous animal rights organization PETA, was the one who put those dogs down. He was found with a syringe in his eye socket and the police are suspecting that you may have taken his own life out of guilt."
"Oh my!" Marge said. "How awful!"
"I know right?" Homer whined. "They're raising the prices on porkchops! Again!" He pointed to the text sliding across the screen within a black bar underneath Kent.
"Homer!" Marge scolded. "We're talking about the awful death of that PETA man!"
"Oh right!" Homer giggled sheepishly.
"Say, isn't that the guy who stole Santa's Little Helper yesterday?" Bart whispered into Lisa's ear. The starfish-haired girl nearly jumped out of her skin as her brother spoke, nearly slapping him in the face as she flailed. "Gah! What the hell Lisa?"
"I-I'm sorry!" Lisa whispered. "You just kinda spooked me is all."
"Whatever." Bart looked back to the screen. "Do you think he offed himself because Santa's Little Helper escaped?"
Lisa gulped, racking her brain to remember every little detail of what she told the family concerning her "discovering" SLH at the park. "Probably." She turned to her parents. "Well, anyway, I better finish getting ready for school! Heh heh!" Lisa dashed upstairs without waiting for her mother's reply, which came in the form of one of her concerned murmurs.
"Is it just me or is Lisa acting strange this morning?" She asked her husband.
"Maybe the story's too upsetting for her." He suggested. "You know how much that kid loves PETA and puppies."
"I suppose you're right." Marge sighed, unable to help but feel like there was more to her daughter's strange behavior.
Meanwhile, back in the safety of her room, Lisa fought the urge to vomit as she quickly packed her backpack. "They'll find out it was me!" She thought. "My fingerprints are all over that syringe! Or they'll find some CCTV footage of me leaving the van or something! It's all a matter of time!" She teared up. "And then it's over. My life is over!" She grabbed a tissue from a box sitting on her nightstand and wiped her face. "No! I can't let them see me like this. I just have to play it cool and maybe, just maybe this whole thing will blow over!"
A giant lump of ice sat inside of Lisa, making her body feel heavy as she moved. It was an aching, gnawing feeling of utter despair that made her want to crawl into bed, fall asleep and wake up to a reality where her killing Vinny was nothing more than a bad dream. That she was still an innocent child with no blood on her hands whatsoever.
But she knew this would not help. As badly as she wanted it to be, this was no nightmare. This was reality and she was going to have to learn to live with it...
"Please welcome our new student, Issac Corman!"
"Huh?" Mrs. Smith's words snapped Lisa from her stupor and back into reality. The block of ice remained and the fear that she would eventually be caught still lingered within her soul but Lisa tried to ignore both and instead, put her focus on the new student entering the classroom.
He was a handsome young child, with silky blonde hair and sky-blue eyes. He was dressed in a plain brown shirt and black shorts, his sneakers marked in black lines. He walked up beside Mrs. Smith and cleared his throat. "Hello everyone! My name is Issac Corman! I hope we can all be great friends."
"Get bent!" One of the boys shouted from the back rows, causing the entire class to erupt into laughter. Well aside from Lisa who simply looked on at the new boy in pity. How embarrassed he must feel after that. But to her surprise, he only continued to smile, even giggling a little to himself. "Heh. Tough crowd." He uttered.
"Class! That's enough!" Mrs. Smith demanded. "I'm sorry about this Issac. I'm sure they'll warm up to you eventually. In the meantime, go ahead and have a seat wherever you want."
"Thank you, Mrs. Smith." Issac walked down the middle space between rows, searching for an empty desk. One of the boys, a friend of the boy who had cat-called earlier, stuck his foot out to trip Issac. Lisa noticed this and tried to call out to warn him but Issac noticed it as well, looking down at the extended foot and then at the boy. "Please don't do that again." Issac requested. "It's very rude."
The other boy only groaned in response as Issac carefully stepped over his leg and continued his search for an empty desk. At last, he found one to Lisa's left and helped himself. "Is it alright if I sit here?" He asked.
"S-Sure." Lisa mumbled as she looked away, her guilt eating at her like ants over a lizard carcass.
"Thanks." Issac removed a book from his backpack and cracked it open. "And thanks for the warning."
"Huh?"
"Before I noticed that boy with his leg out, I saw you open your mouth. You were going to warn me about him right?"
Lisa blushed. "Oh. Uh...yeah." B-But it didn't look like you needed it."
"Regardless, thanks...uh..." Issac chuckled. "I don't believe I caught your name."
"L-Lisa."
"Really? What a coincidence! My Mom's name is Lisa!" Issac beamed.
"R-Really?" Lisa giggled awkwardly. "Guess it's a small world huh?"
"Yeah!" Issac grinned as he joined in on the giggling."
"Ahem!" Both students suddenly looked up to Mrs. Smith as she stared sternly at them. "If introductions are over, I would like to begin class."
"S-Sorry Mrs. Smith," Lisa uttered as she grabbed her textbook and opened it to the page on the chalkboard. Issac did the same. A few of the students chuckled at the two, causing them both to become red in the face. As Mrs. Smith began her lecture, however, they managed to share one final glance at each other. And with that a sheepish smile...
Within herself, Lisa felt the block of ice melt just a little.
Lisa sighed. "But that was then," She shut the shower off. "And this is now." By now, the warm water droplets from the shower head relieved Lisa of any lingering sense of sleepiness and she found the mental strength to push all thoughts of Issac to the back of her head. She dried herself off with a white towel which she then wrapped around herself, and headed to her room. Bart was dragging himself toward the bathroom and barred his eyes in disgust at the sight of his sister. "For God's sake, Lisa put some clothes on when you leave your room!"
"Fuck you," Lisa replied playfully as she passed her brother. Entering her room, she approached her mirror and started to fix her hair. As she brushed the dripping wet bangs from her eyes and beheld her face in the mirror, she found herself feeling more at ease. "This is now." She repeated to herself. "My now."
The school bell rang, beckoning all students to its interior. Bart and Lisa walked side by side until they came across the end of the first hallway in which their paths diverged. He was dressed in a blue T-shirt and black pants and she was dressed in a red blouse that mirrored her old red dress heavily, even possessing a zig-zag hem, and blue jeans. After bidding each other farewell, the siblings made their way to their respective classes.
Lisa made a quick stop at her locker to fetch her books and headed for class. The walk there eerily reminded her of the dream she had the night before. Where she had first heard the Beast's voice. She became nervous as she feared thinking of the Beast would cause it to speak again, to continue egging her on into indiscriminate killing. That's when the images from last night's dream played in her head. She could still the blood underneath her feet. Hear the sounds of the chains jangling. Smell the rotting flesh all around her. See herself as a masked demon with a lust for carnage and death, demanding to be let out. It was-
"OOF!"
Lisa suddenly walked into something and fell to the floor. All traces of the dream vanished again as she groaned and rubbed her aching backside.
"Lisa! Clementine! Allison cried out. "Are you guys alright?"
"Huh? Clementine?" Lisa shook her head and looked ahead of her. Laying before her, rubbing a slightly bloody nose, was Clementine, dressed in a yellow shirt and blue jeans like Lisa. "Oh my Buhdda!" Lisa cried as she scrambled to her feet and held a hand out for Mr. Simon's newest student. "I'm so sorry!"
"It's fine." Clementine whined as she grabbed Lisa's hand, her voice somewhat nasally from holding her nose. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine! But you're not! We need to take you to the nurse!"
Clementine gently moved Lisa's hand away from herself and shook her head. "No you don't. I'm fine. Just a little nosebleed is all."
"Here," Allison reached into her bag and pulled out a tissue. "At least, let's get the blood off your face."
"Thanks." Clementine took the tissue and wiped her nose with it, staining the snow-white paper with scarlet.
"What a sweet smell."
"Dammit no!" Lisa thought. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
"Lisa?" Allison asked. "Are you feeling alright?"
"Huh?" Lisa blushed as she suddenly remembered she was in front of people. "No!" She thought. "I'm not gonna let you make a fool of me again!" With this, Lisa cracked a smile and blurted out, "I'm just peachy!"
Allison and Clementine just stared at Lisa blankly. "Peachy?"
Lisa's face burned even hotter as the Beast burst into laughter within her head.
"Guess you were right. I'm not the one who made a fool of themselves this time!"
"I swear if you don't shut up I'll-"
"Gosh, Lisa!" Clementine giggled. "You're a pretty funny gal!"
"I-I am?"
"Yeah." Allison chuckled. "I guess she is. Oh!" She suddenly had a look of realization upon her. "I just remembered! Clementine here had some news she wanted to share."
"Oh yeah!" Clementine beamed as she turned to Lisa. "Guess who's the new trumpet seat in your band class!?"
"No way!" Lisa exclaimed.
"Yes, way!" All three girls thrilled as they jumped up and down and hugged each other. Their celebration was interrupted by the warning bell ringing. "Shit!" Lisa cursed. "We better get to class."
"Yeah." Allison agreed. "But after school, let's celebrate Clementine getting the trumpet seat. Lemonade shakes at the mall after school! My treat!"
"All right!" Clementine cheered, only to look back and notice Lisa's unhappy demeanor. "Lisa? What's wrong?"
Lisa hesitated to answer of course. The reason she was conflicted was that she intended to investigate the Springfield Sign after school for any clues that could lead her to her next target. But of course, she wasn't just about to tell them that. "Uh...I.. I have something important to do after school."
"R-Really?" Allison raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Yeah!" Clementine agreed. "Maybe we can help."
"Oh! It's nothing!" Lisa waved her arms. "Actually, it's kinda...a private matter to be honest."
"O..k?" Allison still eyed Lisa with suspicion but decided to drop it for her friend's sake. Everyone was entitled to their privacy after all."
"Ok but Lisa," Clementine spoke up. "How long will this private thing of yours take?"
Lisa stuttered as she didn't expect a question like that. "I-I-I don't know. A while?"
"Well I won't try to rush you but if you can, try to hurry it along so you can come with us!" Clementine urged.
"Yeah!" Allison agreed. "We never get to hang out together outside of school Lisa!"
"Oh..." Lisa groaned. "Ok. Ok!"
"Thanks!" Allison hugged Lisa. "Now let's get to class before we lose our perfect attendance!"
"Right." With this, all three girls entered the classroom, two of them ready to get on with the day, one wondering how the day would end for her.
"Check it out, Bart!" Milhouse zipped open his backpack and pulled out a large rock which he then held in front of Bart proudly with a single hand. "I've been getting so ripped at Nelson's place that I can even hold this rock!"
"Milhouse, that rock isn't even heavy." Bart grabbed the rock and held it with one hand to prove his point. "See?"
"Well yeah," Milhouse snatched the rock back. "But I can hold it without sweating or struggling now."
"Morning dingusues." Nelson greeted as he approached the classroom. "What's shaking?"
"Nothing much. Just enjoying the fruits of my hard work at the bench press." Milhouse declared proudly as he held up both of his arms. Despite the intense training they've been going through, they seemed just as bony and brittle as ever.
"Okay." Nelson replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah." Milhouse snickered as he flexed his arms. "With bitchin guns like these, there's no way Lisa will say no to me when I ask her out to the prom!"
"You're planning on asking Lisa?" Nelson asked.
"Why am I not surprised." Bart sighed.
"Yeah! Can you imagine? Lisa in the most beautiful dress in the world. Me in the best tux from Tux-R-Us I can afford, dancing to the tune to whatever song has the grand honor of becoming our forever song." Milhouse sighed dreamily while his two friends cringed.
"What about you Bart?" Nelson asked. "You planning on asking someone out?"
"I don't even know if I'm going." Bart confessed. "Prom's never really been my style you know? I'm more of the guy that ruins it for everyone like Carrie or that guy from Zapped. What about you? I take it you're going with Jessica right? Bet you guys automatically become King and Queen of Lame-O Town."
Nelson grumbled at the mention of Jessica's name. He was still sour about the argument at the mall yesterday and still angry at her. He shoved Bart aside and entered the classroom.
"Hey! What gives?" Bart asked. "Did I say something wrong?"
"N-No." Nelson stopped and sighed. "Nothing." He turned back to his friends. "Let's just save the prom talk for some other time, ok?"
"Ok?" Bart asked with a quizzical tone. Once Nelson had moved out of earshot, he leaned into Milhouse's year and whispered. "Is it just me or is Nelson acting a little...weird?"
"Maybe he and Jessica got into a fight or something." Milhouse suggested. "That's the same look my Dad and Mom used to give each other back before they divorced."
"A fight?" It was at that moment that Bart got an idea. On concerning a pretty raven-haired girl that just might be on the market soon. With this plan in mind, Bart took Milhouse by the shoulder and led him to the desk. "Nelson's right Milhouse." He said calmly. "The prom talk can wait."
"Ok, but I'm still asking Lisa the first chance I get," Milhouse repeated.
"Sure you will, Milhouse." Bart patted his back. "Sure you will."
The ceiling fan at Moe's Tavern was swinging so fast that the bar owner was sure it was going to fly off at any moment and take his head clean off. And he would welcome it. The bartender sighed heavily as he cleaned one of his mugs, last night's events still fresh in his mind. His throat still ached from where Homer had strangled him and he found it painful to swallow. The jukebox still leaned broken against the wall. He tried to turn it on a few times to no avail (and somewhat to his relief.) The worst part about the entire ordeal for Moe, however, was the fact that he knew, one way or the other, Maggie would suffer because of his attempt to help. She trusted in him to put out a fire but he only stroked the flames and now he could only hope she didn't get burned.
"Nice going there Moe." The bartender sighed. "Real nice going." With the mug as clean as it was going to get with Moe's spit, he placed it back in the cabinet just as the front door opened. "Sorry, we don't open till 5," Moe responded to his new guest without looking up as he grabbed a new mug to clean "You'll have to wait to wet your whistle."
"Tempting offer, but I think I'll pass." A familiar voice cooed.
Moe froze in place, dropping the mug he was holding and letting it shatter on the ground. With every nerve in his body screaming for him to run away, Moe forced himself to slowly turn in the direction of the voice. Despite knowing full well who it belonged to, he still found himself shocked to see none other than Fat Tony sitting at the last barstool.
In recent years, the leader of the Springfield Mafia had gained enough weight to more than live up to his name. The poor bar stool looked like it was ready to bend beneath his girth. As Moe watched, the overweight mob boss calmly pulled out a cigarette from his breast pocket, lit it up with a golden match, and helped himself to a puff. "Moe, my good man!" He greeted. "It's been far too long, hasn't it?"
"H-Hey!" Moe stammered. "I-I already paid you off, Fat Tony! You and I ain't got no business together! Not anymore."
"Ahh yes. As a matter of fact, I do seem to recall you gifting us with a suitcase filled with the $500,000 dollars you owe us." Fat Tony reached into his breast pocket again, this time pulling out what appeared to be a crumpled-up dollar bill. He removed the cigar from his mouth and allowed a trail of smoke to vacate his mouth before uncrumpling the dollar bill in his hand, making the photoshopped image of Barney Gumble in a George Washinton wig crystal clear. "Too bad we don't accept Barney Bucks."
"I knew I should have made the payment in pesos!" Moe cursed to himself right as he heard the back door to his bar open. Two of Fat Tony's men, Legs and Louie, suddenly appeared behind Moe, each armed with a pistol which they pointed at the back of his head, all before the bartender could even turn around. With a nervous chuckle, Moe held his hands up in surrender. "L-Look boys! There's no need to get crazy. I-I'm sure we can work something else out!"
Fat Tony got up from the bar stool faster than any man his age and weight should have been able too, walked up to Moe, and stared him directly in the eyes, all with a stern look of displeasure on his face. A look that Moe had come to recognize as the mobster's "I'm going to feed your corpse to the rats and throw what's left in the lake for the fish" face from their past dealings. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, praying to his new God, Yig, that his death would either be swift, painless or possibly even both.
Then Fat Tony smiled and patted him gently on the cheek. "As a matter of fact, my gargoyle-faced friend, we can."
"A Wha!" Moe shouted in surprise as Fat Tony stepped back and started pacing around the bar with his hands behind his back. How Tony managed to interlock the digits of those fatty sausages he called his arms was beyond Moe and the question would stay behind his pursed lips.
"Money is tight these days, what with the rising of the pork price and the "ahem" massive layoffs we've suffered at the mafia these past few years. Nobody wants counterfeit belts or bags anymore." He turned sharply to Moe. "And they certainly don't want counterfeit money!"
Moe's only response was to laugh nervously.
"But recently, as the new Head Don, I have come up with a plan, a fresh start to our criminal enterprises." With this, Fat Tony snapped his fingers and from the front door stormed Johnny Tightlips with a strange ornate box in his hands. He placed it on the pool table, opened the lid, and backed off. After a few moments of silence which to Moe seemed like a thousand years, a strange, colorful lizard crawled out of the box, it's diamond-shaped pupils scanning the world around it as it crawled on top of the nearby 8 ball.
"Uhh...Ok What am I looking at here?" Moe asked. "Some sort of fancy lizard?"
"Not just any fancy lizard." Fat Tony cooed as he gently picked up the reptile and held it up to the light. "It's a Springfield Diamond-Eyed Rainbow Gecko which was added to the Endangered Species List just last month."
"Whoa hold on!" Moe gestured to back up. "You're saying the Springfield Mafia's selling endangered lizards now?"
"Not just lizards." Fat Tony replied. "But all matter of strange and unusual animal companions. We are stepping into the exotic pet trade." Fat Tony stepped forward while inching the lizard toward Moe's face. "And we want to use your bar as a front!"
"What!?" Moe exclaimed. "My bar? Why?"
"In their frantic search for the Animal Avenger, the police have uncovered quite a few of our usual bases of operations." Fat Tony explained. "We need somewhere new, discreet. Somewhere no one would expect to find a good-priced capybara."
"Forget it!" Moe shouted. "I may be a money-hungry slimeball but even I'm not stupid enough to put myself on the Animal Avenger's radar! Have you seen what that psycho does to people? No offense Fat Tony but if given the choice between you and that lunatic, I'd already be making myself a nice pair of cement shoes."
"Moe, Moe, Moe!" Fat Tony cooed as he gently rubbed Moe's cheek, the giant ruby in his wedding ring rubbing against his sweaty skin. "You have nothing to fear from that overzealous animal lover. Sure, they've knocked a few guys down, whoever they are, but we've twice the body count. Not to mention almost all the murders have been committed with weapons of the slashing variety while we possess something with a little more...kaboom!" He gestured to his three men, each now with their pistols raised high. "We wouldn't have chosen this business path if the Animal Avenger was any real threat to us and we always protect our interests." Fat Tony took another step toward Moe and raised the Diamond-Eyed Rainbow Gecko to his eye. "Besides, if we don't get our way, we can make things very uncomfortable for you."
As if on cue, the gecko shot its tongue out at Moe's remaining eye. The sticky saliva coated on the tongue was not enough to take Moe's eye out of the socket completely but was enough to pull it halfway out. Pain shot through his face and Moe screamed as he backed hard into the counter, cradling his head. With a pained, almost whining groan, he pushed his eyeball back into place with his palm and blinked as many times as it took for his vision to return. "Alright, alright." He gasped. "You make a very compelling point Fat Tony. I'll take the deal."
"Excellent choice, my friend." Fat Tony set the lizard down on the counter and wrapped his arm around Moe. "Now, let's head over to the back room where we normally discuss business. I hope you've kept it clean since the last time we met."
"I have not," Moe admitted.
As the men all vanished into the back room, the gecko, left to its own devices, spotted a cockroach resting on the ceiling, sped toward it, and caught and consumed it quite literally before the insect knew what had hit it.
Lisa loved the library. The smell of the book bindings. The comforting sensation of walking through walls upon walls of printed knowledge and written wonders. Even the awkward snugness of the beanbag chairs as they swallowed you whole. It made her almost glad she was forced to bring her own lunch every day so she could spend the rest of that break period in this magical place. Now if only the voice in her head would shut up so she could read.
"Lisa,"
"Shut up."
"Lisa."
"I said shut up!"
"Lisa!"
"Grr! What!?" Lisa whispered loudly as she lifted the book she was reading over her mouth. The fewer people caught her talking to herself, the better.
"We need to discuss the plan."
"We already have one," Lisa argued. "We're going to investigate the Springfield Sign and search for clues."
"And that's it? What if we don't find anything?"
"Then we'll wait for that bastard to upload another video and look for clues there."
"Ahhg! This waiting is killing me!" The Beast snarled. "If you didn't insist on being such a goody-two-shoes, we could knock off some rando right now and be done with it!"
"I already told you. I am not a mindless killer and I refuse to be! Just because I have a voice in my head telling me to murder at random doesn't mean I have to listen!"
"Come on Lisa! You know you want to! Admit it! You enjoy killing! Remember how good it felt when.."
"Tuning you out now." Lisa shook her head aggressively and returned her focus to her book. She found that shaking her head slightly forced the Beast back to its dingy, bloody dwelling for a short time, in this case, hopefully long enough to finish this chapter. However, Lisa was only able to get a few more sentences in before a voice once again pulled her from the story.
"Ah dammit."
"Aggh! Won't you just leave me alone!?" Lisa growled under her breath.
"Where is it?" The voice asked.
"Huh?" It was then that Lisa realized two distinct differences between this voice and that of the Beast. The first was that it belonged to a male and the second was that it had come from behind her head rather than inside it. Peering out from behind the shelf she was sitting in front of, Lisa spotted none other than Nelson Muntz scanning the nearby bookshelf. "Nelson? What's he doing here at this time of day?"
"Come on," He growled under his breath. "Just show yourself you little fucker!"
Curiosity got the better of Lisa and with a drawn-out sigh, she closed her own book and approached the Springfield football captain. "Hey Nelson! What brings you here?"
"Huh?" Nelson turned to Lisa, his eyes bludging in unwelcome surprise once he saw her. "L-Lisa!? Wh-What are you doing here?"
"Ummm...it's the library. I'm always here." Lisa remarked with a raised eyebrow and a slightly cocky smile.
"Oh! Uh...yeah! I knew that." Nelson replied as he shifted his gaze to the floor, a line of red forming under his nose and spreading to his cheeks. Lisa heard him mumble, "idiot" under his breath and she fought the urge to giggle. It wasn't really easy to embarrass Nelson Muntz these days but it would seem today, Lisa had nailed it without trying.
"Well,"
"Well." Nelson repeated, too flustered to think of anything else to say.
"I answered your question. Won't you answer mine?" Lisa asked.
"Huh? Oh uh.." Nelson scratched the back of his head before sighing. "My English teacher is making us write a final book report for the school year and it counts for half our overall grade. And the worse part is, she picked out the books for us!"
Lisa whistled. "I know Mrs. Cartwright could be a hardass sometimes but that's really unexpected!"
"I know right?" Nelson sighed again as he looked back toward the books. "Apparently, I have to do a report on a book called Animal Farm. But no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find the damn thing and I've looked everywhere in this stupid section! Gah!"
"Animal Farm huh?" Lisa turned to the books as well. After a few seconds, she turned to Nelson and said. "Do you promise not to get offended?"
"Why?" Nelson asked. "You wanna make a pun on how I look like a pig? I've heard them all."
"What!? No! That's awful!"
"Nah it's cool. I've even developed my own oinking system." Nelson snorted like a pig, causing Lisa to laugh. Quickly, the middle child of the Simpson clan clasped her hands over her mouth to keep from disrupting the peace of the library.
"Hehe! Stop that!" She forced herself into recompose and exhaled what remained of her stifled laughter while wiping a tear from her eye. "That's not it! It's just, I'm sure you're looking for the beast fable written by George Orwell but this is the domesticated animal biology section." Lisa giggled again.
"The wuh?" Nelson raised his eyebrow. "You're gonna have to speak English to me."
"Animal Farm is fiction and this is nonfiction. You're on the wrong side of the library!"
It took Nelson a hot minute to process what Lisa said. Once he did, he turned to look at the books one more time and then back to Lisa before uttering "D'oh!"
Lisa chuckled. "Look, how about I show you where the book is? I know this place like the back of my hand."
"Umm...Sure." Nelson was blushing again as Lisa grabbed his hand and led him toward the fiction section of the library. As they walked, Lisa found herself drawn to Nelson's face which he kept turned away, clearly embarrassed at having to be guided across the library like a small child. And yet, he wasn't too proud to accept her help. "I don't think I've ever seen Nelson this flustered before." She thought. "It's...cute." The corners of her lips curved up toward her warming cheeks and Lisa realized that she was blushing as well. She turned away and the two avoided eye contact until they reached the Beast Fables shelf.
"W-Well here it is!" Lisa declared, eager to shift her focus to something else. "Good ol, 2-18!"
"Right." Nelson scanned the shelf for the George Orwell classic and found it nestled on the top shelf. He pulled it out and presented it to Lisa. "Is this it?"
"Animal Farm by George Orwell! That's right!" Lisa beamed. "I know you might not think so but personally, I think you lucked out on the subject for your book report."
"Really?" Nelson looked over the hardcover. "Why?"
"Because it's a classic!" Lisa answered. "It's about a group of animals who take over their own farm from their human masters."
"Yeah?" Nelson chuckled. "Maybe this book won't be such a snore."
Lisa felt tempted to further explain the eventual fate of the animals, namely the pigs, but decided to bite her tongue. Nelson might appreciate it better if he was able to read it for himself. For now, it was best to let him think it was a simple humorous fable about animals taking over a farm.
"A little simple-minded isn't he?" The Beast spoke. "Though I suppose that adds a certain charm to him."
"What are you talking about?" Lisa thought, taking care not to give out any external clues to her inner turmoil.
"Have you forgotten that I'm in your mind? There's not a thing you can hide from me." The Beast chuckled. "I know you desire him."
Lisa's face lit up like a Christmas light. "I do not!"
"Of course you do. You feel even right now, don't you? The desire to see those rippling muscles free from that silly little jersey"
"I'm warning you!"
"You know you want to feel them." The Beast cackled. "You feel them against your own bare-"
"Enough!" Lisa shouted with a gasp, remembering too late that she was still in Nelson's presence. Her blush intensified and at that moment, she wished she was a chameleon or any animal that could change its skin color and vanish into the scenery of the library.
"Enough...what?" Nelson asked.
"Ummm...enough...library time!" Lisa answered. "Yeah! I think I've spent enough time in the library today. Even we nerds can suffer from too many books ha ha!"
Just then, the bell rang, signifying the ending of lunch and the beginning of the second round of classes.
"Heh. I guess you're right." Nelson snorted. "Let's check out our books and get out of here."
Lisa sighed, forever thankful for the bell for pulling her out of that ocean of awkwardness. "Let's."
Lisa went to retrieve her book and she and Nelson headed to the front desk as outside, a heard of students mowed through the hallway. Once the books were checked out, the two of them joined the hear but not before Nelson turned to Lisa and asked, "By the way, what book did you check out?"
"Oh umm...just a self-help book. Nothing interesting."
"Well thanks for the help Lis!" Nelson said, a tint of red appearing on his face.
Lisa noticed his blush and felt her own face heat up again. "Anytime."
With this, both students vanished into the crowd. On her way to class, however, Lisa dropped by the bathroom and opened her backpack. Making sure no one was looking, Lisa dropped the book she checked out, Voices in my Head: A Study of Psychology and Mental Ailments, into her backpack, closed it up, and continued on her way to class.
"Oh dammit!" Jessica cursed. "Of all the days to not borrow from Daddy's collection plate." The queen of High School was standing before one of two vending machines at the school. It was one she visited every day for her daily bottle of Buzz Cola Zero and after her fight with Nelson Muntz yesterday, she could use the low-fat drink. But, much to her chagrin, she had forgotten to swipe a few coins from her father's funds and the machine would not take dollars. "This is just great! First, my boyfriend acts like a jerk and now this!"
"Might I be of some assistance, my good ma'am?" Jessica nearly jumped out of her skin as the voice spoke. Looking around frantically, she noticed none other than Bart Simpson standing beside her, a rather stupid-looking grin on his face. "What do you want Bart?"
"I just wanted to see how you were doing," Bart replied. "You just seemed so troubled."
"It's just this stupid vending machine," Jessica answered while shooting the machine a death glare. "I want my Buzz Cola Zero and this thing only take coins." Her eyes suddenly changed from annoyed to flirtatious. "Say, you don't happen to have any coins on you, do you?"
"Not just coins, but a plan." Bart snickered as he pulled out a quarter with string wrapped around it. He stepped in front of the machine, slid the quarter into the slot, and pressed the button for Buzz Cola Zero. Instantly, a bottle with a grey-red wrapping dropped down to the dispenser door where it was quickly scooped up by Jessica. Once the object of his affections had claimed her prize, Bart gave the string a good hard yank, removing the coin from the slot with the machine none the wiser. He snickered as he placed the coin back in his pocket.
"Ah! The old coin on a string trick huh?" Jessica commented as she opened her Cola. "A little old-school, don't you think?"
"Hey! A true classic never goes out of style." Bart replied without missing a beat.
"Well, thanks." Jessica took a sip of her soda and started to walk off. "See ya."
"Hey! What's the rush?" Bart jumped in front of her playfully. "There's still time before the next bell. How about we talk?"
"About what?" Jessica raised an eyebrow. "I'm grateful for the soda Bart but I do have better things to do than talk to the lower-class. You understand." Statements like that were usually enough to get unwanted suitors off her back but to Jessica's surprise, Bart's face displayed no indication of indignation or offense. Just a warm smile and slightly conniving eyes.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I get it. Common folk such as myself should not be talking so casually to high school royalty such as yourself."
"Hmph! Well as long as you understand."
"But I couldn't help but worry, you know? My good chum. Nelson, who you graced with the opportunity of being your boyfriend seemed very saddened by the mention of Prom today."
"H-He did?" Jessica asked.
"I know it's absolutely, positively none of my business but still I must ask, is everything going alright between you two?"
Now Jessica wasn't exactly the model student Lisa Simpson was but she had her own brand of smarts and it was thanks to them that she realized what kind of game Bart was playing. "This asshole's trying to worm his way to my side!" She thought. "He knows me and Nelson are arguing and he's hoping to take advantage of that to get into my pants! How vulgar! How conniving...How dastardly..." Jessica found herself slightly aroused by the whole situation. Even after all these years, Bart still wore his miscreant reputation on his sleeve but that was the first time, as far as Jessica knew, that he was putting his devilish talents towards manipulating people or at least trying to. In all honesty, she was impressed. And she was looking for a way to punish Nelson for his behavior yesterday...
"Well..." He shifted her gaze to the side, trying her hardest to look hurt and emotionally vulnerable. "Do you promise what I say stays just between us? I mean it Bart!"
Bart pressed his thumb and index finger together, traced them against his mouth, and flicked them. "My lips are sealed."
"The truth is, things haven't actually been going great lately. Nelson just seems more focused on his football buddies and his workouts than he does me! He wouldn't even help me pick out a dress for the prom." Jessica uttered a sob as if she was going to cry but no tears came out. None needed to. She could tell just by looking at his concerned face that she had caught Bart, hook, line, and sinker. The hunter had become the prey.
"Gee, I'm so sorry!" Bart placed a hand on her shoulder. "If there's anything I could do, just let me know."
"Well," Jessica sniffed. "My next class is science and there are these really heavy books I need to get out of my locker for it. Could you.."
"Say no more." Bart held his hand out. "I may not be as beefy as Nelson but I'll carry those books, no problem!" Bart held up his somewhat bony arms and kissed them, causing Jessica to laugh.
"Thanks! Let's go!" With this, Bart and Jessica casually made their way to the latter's locker, each thinking the same thing about the other."
"Got'em!"
When the final bell of the school day rang, Lisa was once again in a girl's bathroom all alone. She had turned the sink on and splashed cold water on her face repeatedly. "Ok, ok. You're fine." She told herself. All your going to do is look for some clues at the Springfield sign and then meet the girls for shakes. You can do both if you hurry."
"And want to be caught." The Beast remarked.
"I don't need your input, thank you very much!" Lisa growled under her breath before giving herself one more face full of water. She turned the sink off, ripped a couple of weak brown paper towels out of the dispensary, and wiped her face aggressively.
"I still think we should just cancel our plans with those meat bags. Then we'd have more time to hunt down our next victim!"
"I'M not canceling any plans with the girls and I will find MY victim when the time is right!" Lisa argued.
The Beast sighed. "You disappoint me Lis,"
"And you annoy me so I guess we're even." Lisa balled up the tissue and tossed them into the trash can. By now, the noise in the hallway had died down and Lisa was grateful for that. The less people see her leave for the Springfield sign, the better. With a deep breath, she left the bathroom and walked briskly down the hallway toward the exit door. It would seem no-
"Heya Lisa!" Milhouse's nasally voice called out from behind. "Wait up!"
"Shit!" Lisa thought as she turned to see the blue-haired young man run after her. Whatever exercise regimen he was doing at Nelson's place clearly wasn't helping with his respiratory problems as he needed to stop and catch his breath once he was in front of her. Lisa, annoyed as she was, waited patiently for him to recover.
"Well, well, if it isn't the simp."
"I cannot believe you're using that stupid slang." Lisa thought. "Are you sure you're really from my mind?"
"Hey, if the boot fits." The Beast chuckled. "Hey, Simp for the Simpson!"
"Enough!" Lisa mentally commanded.
"Li..Lis...Lisa." Milhouse wheezed.
"Take your time Milhouse." Lisa sighed as he continued to reclaim his breath.
"Lisa," He finally spat out. "How have you been?"
Lisa gave him a quizzical look. "I've been fine."
"Good, good." Milhouse said as he tried to lean against the lockers, only to misplace his shoulder and nearly slip. He looked around awkwardly as did Lisa who wanted nothing more than to leave the situation.
"Well, see ya!"
"Wait!" Milhouse shouted. Lisa felt like groaning but continued to put up her polite facade, even as The Beast egged her on to do otherwise.
"You know, if we killed this little blue-haired headache right now, no one would suspect a thing! Hell, they may not even care enough to investigate!"
"That's awful!" Lisa mentally scolded her inner voice. "Milhouse might be a pain but he's not an animal abuser. I won't hurt him."
"Then let's find that asshole you are willing to hurt and get this show on the road already!"
"Be patient!" Lisa demanded. "Milhouse, what do you want?" She asked sternly.
"Lisa, the prom is in three weeks,"
"Oh boy." Lisa thought.
"And I was wondering,"
"Milhouse, let me stop you right there." Lisa interrupted. "Look, I'm flattered that you thought of me, I really am. But I don't even know if I am going to the prom or not."
"What? Why?"
"I just don't know. I haven't decided yet."
"Is it because you don't have a date? Because I can be your date!" Milhouse shouted in a pleading voice.
"Milhouse, look-"
"Please!"
"How pathetic." The Beast scoffed.
"Look Milhouse, I have to go. We can talk about this later."
"Why? Why can't we talk about this now? Where do you have to go that's so important?"
"That's none of your business!" Lisa said sternly. A memory came to her at that moment, from the time she was mistaken as a college student and wound up attending the classes. She recalled the embarrassment and shame she felt when Milhouse and his friends followed her to college one day and blew her cover in front of her new friends. They even had the audacity to give her the cold shoulder after that, saying that she was "too college" for them. It never occurred to her until this precise moment how infuriating Milhouse was back then, treating her like she did something wrong when he had no business following her in the first place. Other events returned to her mind as well like how he publicly humiliated her by exposing the true nature of Eliza Simpson, an ancestor she had put so much faith in before and how despite his supposed crush on her, he jumped on board with everyone else for mocking her when she was revealed as Truth-Teller, punished just for trying to build up her self-esteem in a school that seemed determined to tear it down. It was enough to make Lisa's blood boil and her teeth grind against each other inside her mouth. The Beast offered no commentary on this turn of events other than pleased laughter.
"Maybe I can walk with you there." Milhouse offered, too caught up in his intent to make his wish come true to even notice Lisa's simmering rage. "We can talk about it along the way-
"No!" Lisa roared, startling Milhouse. "I already said it's none of your business so why can't you just take the fucking hint!" Lisa wanted to scream more, to bring up all the times Milhouse, the oh-so noble Milhouse, inconvenienced her, even hurt her without realizing it. But she stopped herself. Ironically, it was the look of shock and horror on Milhouse's face that snapped her out of her annoyance-induced rage. With her entire body still shaking, she slowly backed away from Milhouse who only continued to stare in silent, disturbed awe.
"Lisa,"
"Look Milhouse, now is just not a good time ok?" We'll talk later!" Lisa rushed out of the empty hallway and through the school doors, leaving Milhouse alone and shaken.
"Was it something I said?" He finally managed to ask himself after recovering from the experience.
"I must say, I'm proud of you partner." The Beast cooed. "You finally let your inner animal out, even if only for a little howl at the Moon."
"Shut up already," Lisa demanded. "I didn't let anything loose. Milhouse just pissed me off and I went off on him. That's all." She sighed. "And to tell you the truth, I feel like shit because of it."
"Oh come now! You can't honestly stand there and tell me he didn't deserve that. Not after that college incident, speaking of which.."
"Relax," Lisa replied. "He's not following us. No one is. I've made it a point to become more difficult to stalk since that day. Now let's look for clues."
Lisa was standing behind the giant "S" starting the word "Springfield" as it hung over the city like an aloof lord on his throne. Lisa had taken several detours around town to shake off any would-be followers although something told her Milhouse would in fact not be repeating his actions from that day at college. The shocked, almost panicked look on his face was burned into her memory and the worst part was, Lisa was unsure how she felt about it. Common sense told her she was guilty, that it was wrong to explode on Milhouse like that even if he did bring it upon himself. But another part of her, perhaps the part that birthed her unwelcome travel buddy, took a strange delight in seeing him suffer and using those bad experiences of the past as an excuse. Lisa shook her head of these thoughts and continued to search the sign and the area around it, looking for something, anything that would lead her to her intended victim. A full hour and 11 minutes would pass before Lisa would finally become frustrated and shout out.
"This is hopeless! I can't find anything around here!"
From inside her head, the beast sighed. "Perhaps the fucker's gotten smart and started covering his tracks. Come on partner, it's back to square one...again."
Lisa sighed as well. "You're right. We can't stay out here much longer." Just as Lisa was about to make her descent back into town, however, a masculine, somewhat foreign voice called out from behind her.
"Hey! Are you alright?"
Turning around, she found herself face to face with a young handsome tan-skinned boy...
...and in his hands lay rusted barbed wire.
(If you've had the misfortune of reading my eariler Simpsons fanfics, you'll know that I'm not a big fan of Milhouse. Dude somwhow manages to be a annoying nerdy type and a total asshole at the same time! But, in the spirit of trying to be more mature with my writing, I'm going to to try to trim down the Milhouse bashing to this arc. Not much more to say aisde from I'll see you really soon! Buh-bye!)