Laughter, Tears, and Vodka Bottles Pt. 3

"Un-fucking believable," Damien says as he sits next to me as we sit on the balcony of his and Pip's room. I let his words hang in the cold, crisp air for a moment in which he flicks his fingers and lights the blunt in his long pale fingers before handing it to me. I take a deep inhale before passing it back and watching the smoke drift from my lips.

"Yeah dude," I finally say at last, not really sure how to even feel right now. He really walked the fuck out. I shake my head.

"And now you don't know what to do," It's not a question, he doesn't need to ask because he knows. He just knows. Sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing or not. The blunt is passed back to me and I immediately take my turn wanting these frustrating thoughts to go away.

"Yeah," I say once again and hold out the blunt to Damien who just stares at me.

"I hate that, stop it." He doesn't if it's even possible he looks at me even more intently until I finally give in and give a resigned, but reassuring nod to him.

He finally takes the blunt from me before speaking, "Need to make sure that you're...okay."

"As okay as I can be right now." A comfortable silence falls between us in which we finish off Damien's first blunt before lighting up another.

"Today was pretty cool," He starts and I nod thinking about everything we did today. We had lunch at this restaurant that resembled the inside of a large cabin where I literally almost O.D. on the best hot chocolate

I ever had if that's even possible. Then we went sightseeing at a lot of cool places and even the museum Kyle dragged us to wasn't that bad. Even with all these things considered why do I still feel like there's a fucking rock in my chest? I'm honestly hurt at recent events, but it's something else. I just can't put my finger on it and it's bothering me.

"Yeah," I say in a slight daze after I finish off the second blunt. "I know," I say sounding like the fucking loser I feel like.

"I get it," I feel Damien's hand clap on my shoulder in comforting motion. "You don't feel like talking and it's cool. Something is bothering you just...don't do anything stupid okay? We'll hang at the spa like the pretty girls we are tomorrow and watch horrid Rob Schneider movies."

"Up yours," I mutter a smile lightly pulling at my lips to which Damien just gives me his best impression of a cheshire cat before clapping me on the back once more before heading back inside of the room and after a brief moment I follow.

I say my goodbyes to the couple and promise Pip that I'll be up bright and early for breakfast (after a quick wake and bake with Damien of course) before leaving and back to my hotel room.

Once inside the dark suite I slowly head to my room without making too much noise and gently close the bedroom door behind me. I strip my clothes quickly without looking at the bed a few feet away from mine and immediately wrap myself in the downy soft comforter and sheets. After a while of horrible silence I push away my stressful thoughts and finally shut my eyes.

For two days I have put up with this bullshit! With Tweek's bullshit to be more specific. Keeping away from him has been easier than I thought it would be considering how hard he's trying just to rile me up. I mean, like, fuck, he's been trying so hard and I don't think I can take anymore of this. Playing his loud music which mostly consists of Beyonce and Cardi B.

I need to take action and I need to now. I stand from my bed and pull my phone off of the charger before walking out of the room and into the empty living room area seeing as how Cartman and Gary have fucked off elsewhere.

Even as 'Be Careful' plays once again I pretend it doesn't bother me and focus on my phone which has been glued to my hand for the past half hour and walk past Tweek and Gary's open door and out of the suite completely.

From outside I can hear the music abruptly stop and I don't waste time booking it to the elevator. I do a mental cheer in my head as I notice our suite door open as Tweek's body walks out just in time for what? For the doors of the elevator to close. I didn't even have to press the elevator door button.

I text Clyde that I'm on my way downstairs after boredly watching the numbers on the elevator for a moment as I travel to the hotel's lobby. The elevator makes its annoying small dinging sound and I mentally sigh. Finally. I step forward from lounged position against the elevator walls as the door opens and I'm greeted by no one other than the blonde fucker I was attempting to get away from. Without a word he barges in, forcing me to move back and pushes our floor number.

Feeling completely disgruntled I continue to ignore him the entire time as I watch the last few numbers pass and as soon as the door opens I feel a bone-breaking grip around my wrist that causes me to halt nevermind the fact that elevator is bombarded by a group guests and I'm forced to stand painfully close to Tweek.

When the elevator opens once again the guests empty out along with their loud chatter and I continue to keep my cool. As I'm unlocking our suite door with my key card I come to a resolve to take Kyle's advice. What's the point of running anymore?

I tried. I fucking tried. Tried to stay in my lane, stay intact...try to keep my cool, but I'm pretty sure by this point all of that shit has flew straight out of the window. Or more specifically when Tweek pushes me hard up against the wall in my room, I didn't think Tweek was this strong, but I remember the shinner he gave me months ago and fuck does it make me hard just thinking about it. It's intense as we just stare at each other and I can't help, but taunt him.

"Now what? You dragged me here just to what? Stare at me," I push him back roughly a few times and it feels awesome.

"Shut your fucking trap Craig!" Tweek screams at me and I continue to stare at him before yanking his head back by his hair.

"I could fucking destroy you right now," I say through gritted teeth.

"Then do it. Or are you too pussy?" Tweek grabs my groin and squeezes hard making me release his hair from my grip, pushing my back against the wall again.

"Shut the fuck up," I sneer and push our mouths together.

I teeth clash against each other and it stings but I can careless as my teeth latch onto Tweek's lip and pull to my satisfaction before connecting our lips together. Tweek groans and flicks his tongue out at lips and I open quickly letting our tongues clash dirtily. This is too good, I can't help, but think as I feel Tweek's tongue trace the roof of my mouth before letting out tongues wrap around each other once more.

It's so sloppy and I love it. It seems as if neither of us once to be the one to pull back first, to be the one that can't take it. I chuckle to myself as I continue to breathe heavily through my nose and ravage his mouth until he pushes me back a thin string of spit connecting our lips falls between us. Tweek is breathing heavily and looks so freaking sexy like this. Who knew?

Our glaring contest doesn't last long before Tweek latches onto my collarbone and I groan at the feel of his abused lips tracing down up and down my neck. Abruptly, Tweek tears at my white shirt and effectively rips it apart before moving down to my now exposed nipples. He licks, sucks, and bites my small nubs until their hard while rubbing my hardon through my black jeans. Now, I'm pushing him away and in return he slaps me, hard.

"Don't. You have no fucking right! You fucking pushed me, so fucking stand here and take it."

"I didn't push you."

"You did. I tried to get to stop. For chrissake Craig! You just don't know what you do to me, teasing me all the time, I couldn't take it anymore, that's why I pushed you away, that's why I needed you to take a step back."

"All you had to do was ask, I would've just fucked you."

"And risk us falling out?"

"I've always wanted you," I say before smashing our lips together. Amazing. To think that-

"Should've told me sooner," Tweek says against my lips and I move my lips away letting them trace along the side of his flushed cheeks.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Tweek smirks, "Exactly what I said. Too bad I had to let my frustrations out somewhere else."

" ...About?" I ask once again, punctuating each word with a step forward causing Tweek to move forward until he's falling onto the bed behind him.

"Don't worry, I think about you everytime I touch myself, everytime I let someone fuck me I always thought about you. Still do." I growl at the thought of someone taking the blonde. Thoughts of him coming with my name on his tongue...

Sensational.

"You ready to have the real thing. No more fantasies. No fucking stand-ins," My taunts like whispers against his jaw line. He nods and its not good enough, "Answer me."

"Yeah, I'm ready. I've always been ready."

"You sure, sure you can take me, all of me?"

"Fuck, what are you doing to me," He whispers back and I can't help the way lips curve before I attack his, leaving harsh bites in my trail down to his collarbone. I continue to leave a trail of kisses and bites just to hear those sweet, sweet moans he doesn't even try to hold back from me.

"I want you, I want you, I want you," He chants between kisses and I'm on fire right now, the absolute look of desire reflected in his honey eyes. "I freaking want you!" Tweek says pulling my face up to meet his lips again with both palms.

Easily switching positions Tweek pushes me against the wall hard before dropping onto his knees. "Please," he asks looking up at me with those sweet eyes I adore so fucking much. I run my ring covered fingers through his hair gently, letting his soft blonde locks slide through my fingers.

I remove myself from my jeans that have become way too tight anyway, pushing them down along with my boxer shorts just enough to allow Tweek's mouth to instantly envelope my hard and leaking member.

I watch completely entranced and it's driving me crazy seeing hum suck me with such desperation. I fucking love it. He handles me with absolute skill and I'm mind blown. I grip his hair and remove myself from his mouth just staring at the spit dripping from his swollen pink lips as he stares from my equally spit drenched hard cock to my eyes.

I smirk before pushing back in harshly and choking him on my cock and he takes it like I knew he would. After stuffing myself down Tweek's throat one last time I pull out and begin to undress as Tweek catches breath.

"Come here," I call as I lay back on my elbows on the bed. Tweek complies and I pull him down next to me and we make out as I help Tweek undress. He pops the button on his jeans and shimmy them down along with his boxers and as his cock lays there surrounded by a cluster of dark blonde hairs I'm reminded of yesterday when I caught him jerking off. With one last kiss to his bare right shoulder I sit back, "I want to see you jerk off."

Tweek grins, "Do you?" He teases and I bite my lip as I stare from his cock to his honey eyes. He stares back and without hesitation he spits in his hand and begins to stroke himself at a steady. "Fuck…"

I watch the way his abs tense and the way he throws his head back as he twists at the top of his cock and collecting the precome that flowing from his swollen tip, squelching sounds enveloping my room. Needing to touch him I remove his hand and replace it with it mine. He groans loudly and pushes my head towards his. "Make me come," He whispers against my lips his tone demanding and the look in his eyes so desperate.

Purposely slowing my pace I watch in fascination, wanting to know how desperately he really wants this and it doesn't take long before Tweek is pistoning his hips upward, fucking my hand. I speed up my hand again and lean down to kiss the base of his cock. I feel Tweek's body tense and I almost come at the sight of his hard cock spitting white all over my hand and I never knew someone could be so hot.

He continues to push his up to ride out his orgasm and I kiss him again so softly as I help him ride out his high. Tweek gives out a little sigh and I remove my hand and lick up all of him from my fingers and his crotch.

"I want you to take me," He whispers as he watches me clean up his mess. Once finished I kiss his already kiss sore, plump lips and he nods at me. Gently, I push him gently onto his back and hover over him as I reach into the nightstand for a small bottle of lube and I generously prep him before leaning back on my calves and maintain eye-contact with Tweek as I prep myself.

He pulls me down by my dark strands and I position myself at his hole. Pushing in slowly I groan at the tight heat that envelopes my member and reveal in the feeling of finally, finally having him.

The feel of him wrapped around me is euphoric at its best and I take in the way he sounds beneath me, the look in his eyes and how much I fucking love this as he pleads for more and the way my name falls from his cherry lips unashamedly. Reaching my peak feels like a burst of fire or like a breath of fresh air after being underwater for so long.

I groan and Tweek tightens his legs around my torso as he spills over for the second time. I slowly ride out my orgasm before collapsing beside him.

I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding and a tired chuckle emits from mouth as I lean over and lay chest to chest with Tweek in a makeshift hug. "That was amazing. That was," Tweek doesn't finish and instead pulls me into a kiss from the nape of neck for the millionth time tonight.

"The best. Where did you learn to do that thing with your tongue?" Tweek opens his mouth to answer and I instantly stop him, "No, nope I don't wanna know. It doesn't matter," I settle on. Plus Tweek will be learning a hell of alot more shit from me in no time.

As if reading my mind he gives me a little tired grin before kissing my lips again and a swift kick to my foot which erupts in a game of footsies like the immature fucks that we are.

I pace back and forth in one spot before just deciding to walk down the nearly empty hall. I push my fingers through my hair and briefly squeeze at my roots before letting my arms flop down to my side. I've already placed my bag on the bus, but decided to do a little bit of wandering before having to endure the painfully awkward ride home. It's only been a day and a half since me and Butters hooked up and we've been avoiding each other like the plague.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen and as I slowly made my way out of bed and towards the noise I could feel the atmosphere completely change once I'd step foot in the kitchen. The laughter stopped and I pretended not to notice as I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. "Don't stop on my occasion, just forget I'm even here." I bit out and there were no replies, but I could feel three sets of eyes burning holes into my white tee covered shirt.

With my cold water bottle locked in my hand I head back into my room, ignoring the sound of Stan calling for me to come back. I took slow sips of the cold water to try to calm my rising annoyance before jumping in the shower because I promised Damien that we'd hang out today. As soon as I'm out of the shower, I quickly get dressed in a pair of black jeans, a long sleeve grey shirt with two buttons at the top and I throw my orange parka on top. I place my hair in a bun and fight the urge to throw my hood up as well, but direct my attention to sliding my feet in my boots.

I leave the room and the kitchen/ sitting room is empty and just as I make my way to the hotel suite door I spot Stan standing there as if he was waiting for me. I grit my teeth and try to ignore one of my closest friends and exit the suite and of course he just blocks the way.

"What?" I ask flatly not really wanting to be bothered. I'm not exactly mad at Stan. I just do not like discussing my problems with anyone really or rather I'm not used to doing so. The only person who I felt I could really express how I feel to I've gone and fucked (literally) that whole situation up. So I'd rather deal with this alone.

"What is wrong with you? Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you."

"Yeah, you have dude. We haven't really hung out since being here. Something's up?"

My fucking life, its up in the air, just shitting all over me. "Nope," I say accenting the P. I furrow my brows together in confusion to drive home the look of pure confusion.

"Is it because me and Kyle are friends again."

I grit my teeth, "No." I do not need another reminder of that asshole.

"Look, I know everything is so sudden, but I thought you would be happy to know that we patched things up. Things can go back to the way they were."

"I don't have a problem with that Stan. I am happy. I've just been in my head lately. Sorry we hadn't had time to chill and no I'm not going to do something crazy like throw myself from the balcony." I wish.

I honestly would have if it wasn't for Damien last night and the fact that he would literally kill me twice over once I came back for doing something so stupid and possibly scarring Pip for life. And... for awhile I've gotten the odd feeling that they may not be the only ones who'll remember.

I paste on a smile and Stan smiles back and with a pat on his back I leave out the door to meet up with Damien.

(*)

After hanging out with Damien and Pip for a little while before he left to meet up with Butters and Scott and I feel refreshed and my spirits lifted which I'm choking up to be a little of Damien's dark magic working on me. It just felt good to avoid all the problems plaguing me for a while because as soon as my boots hit South Park I have feeling that things are going to get more complicated than they've been in a while.

And now I'm making my way back from Damien's room and I decide to take the stairs going down two at a time. Once I reach the end I head in the direction of the side doors to the frozen garden outside the hotel I spot Kyle, but I continue to walk until I'm outside.

"Kenny, Ken just wait," I hear Kyle call out to me and my gut forces me to stop in my tracks, my back facing him. "Can we talk?" I don't say anything to this, but he continues anyway. "I…" I hear him shift and I can tell that he's looking anywhere else but at me.

I feel a sick satisfaction at having made the overly confident Kyle Broflovski nervous as the moment ticks on. "I don't know what to say. I don't even understand why you're upset I just know that I want to fix it. I don't like that we are at odds over something as inane as me hanging out with Stan again. I know I've said and did things that weren't good, but can't we just let this go?"

Still at this I say nothing and it seems as if Kyle expected so this time. "I want to believe things will get better between us, I mean if you can forgive Stuart then surely this is nothing, right?"

Once Kyle finally stops talking all I can focus on is trying to calm the anger rising in my chest. I don't ever think I've felt this close to hating Kyle as I feel now and comparing himself to that deadbeat sperm donor of mine has done nothing, but make it worse.

I love Kyle like a fucking brother, he's one of my closest friends and always has been and despite the past week's worth of snide looks and shade throwing all I really want is an apology and explanation of some sort. All he could've said is "I'm sorry Ken!" and I would've hugged the fucker, I wouldn't feel this overwhelming pressure in my chest. And before I can even contemplate stopping myself words begin to fall from my mouth like a broken fountain.

"You know Kyle, all I wanted was to forgive you, but I just can't see that happening anymore. Never did I think I would ever be able to relate to Red and all the others that you've treated so coldly, but I do. Never did I think I would literally-" I stop myself. Deep breaths. "This entire disagreement started all because I wanted to protect Stan and for good reason."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

I stare at Kyle as if he's grown three heads, is he serious? "C'mon you cannot be serious. Kyle, ever since that complete fiasco freshmen year you've been different, it's like your heart is surrounded in ice. I wish I didn't have to say it, but it's true. We've all seen the things you did to Stan, but worst of all was the effect you had on him."

"I know, I hurt Stan."

"Do you?"

"Yes! And I apologized for that."

"Do you really think an apology could really make up for everything you've done? You weren't there to pick up the pieces and if memory serves you were actually flaunting around the school with your girlfriend Bebe the what, next day?" Kyle actually looks lost for words at this. "You never-"

"Just stop!" The look in Kyle's green eyes shows that I've gotten to him, that for once I was able to penetrate that cradled heart of his and give him a piece of his own medicine. But even though his hurt is shining through his green eyes like I never seen before I refuse to allow myself to feel sorry for him. And like a switch of a light it's gone and replaced by a fierce hardness, "You've made it clear that you want me to stay away from Stan and I refuse." My lip turns up in a sneer as Kyle turns to leave, but he abruptly stops, "I'll be damned if I let you ruin this for me." With that he returns inside and I'm left to deal with my own swirling thoughts.

"You know Kenny, I have never thought in a million years despite the many times people labeled you as a dumb mountain hick (myself included) that you would be this fucking stupid," Cartman voices as he makes his appearance from where-the-fuck-ever.

"Could you be anymore invasive? And if by trying to protect my friend makes me seem stupid then so be it."

"No, it doesn't make you seem like anything, you are."

"Fine, I'll humor you Eric. Why is that? Please explain to me how fucking stupid I am?" I demand, needing it. I need him to put the nail in the coffin built in my head and numbing me altogether.

"Stop that," Cartman comments snidely as he stops in front of me.

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do," I say and my voice doesn't waver, not one bit.

"Stop being such an annoying prick," He states harshly. "Look, I know you have some sort of fetish or fixation with trying to save people, but Stan and Kyle don't need saving. I know Kyle's a cocky asshole sometimes, we all know that, but he-"

"But what Eric?" I cut harshly and Cartman narrows his brown eyes at me. "

"He really, really fucking cares about Stan, alright."

"Alright. Alright?" I babble incredulously, "No it's not fucking alright!"

"He does Ken," Eric insists again and a small part of me says to just let this go, but I just can't. I don't say anything and even go as far as to pull out my almost empty pack of cigarettes, pulling one out I quickly light it. I deeply inhale the sweet, sweet smoke imagining that I can touch death itself and just like that I'm done with this conversation.

I ignore Cartman's presence considering that I fucking know him and considering the last time I was in this position he won't indulge me when I'm like this so he takes the fucking hint and disappears, but not before pulling the stick from my mouth and promptly throwing it in the snow.

(*)

By the time I find the nerve to head towards the hotel exit everyone seems to be loitering around the lobby and front exit idly talking and joking around. With a deep breath I grit my teeth and begin making my way towards the buses without sparing a glance at anyone hoping to get there before Butters.

Hopefully Coach Mick and Coach Candice take their little merry time checking us out and I can possibly fall asleep while waiting. As soon I enter the empty parking lot where I hurry to the boys bus only to be stopped mid-jog by someone pulling on the hood of my parka. I'm instantly annoyed as my hood falls down and a wave of long messy blonde hair falls out. I turn around to see who the culprit.

"What do you want?" I ask roughly.

"Woah, chill dude. I heard you're usually more chipper than this. But I guess that depends on the context really." I roll my eyes and turn to continue my trek to the bus only to be stopped again.

"Dude, I don't know what you think you've heard, but I really just wanna be alone."

"Didn't really enjoy the trip did you? Yeah...me neither." As I open my mouth to express that I really don't want to engage in small talk especially with Gary Harrison of all people I decide against it as he continues. "I just kept getting this feeling as if something was wrong, you know? Have you ever felt that way?" I nod and Gary's face takes on a somber look.

"I'm sorry to bombard you and all, but I just heard that you were great listener and I kind of don't have...anyone to talk to."

"What about Tweek?"

"He's occupied. And this isn't something I think I can talk to him about."

I stare at Gary my lips pursed and eyebrows screwed together, "Like I said, whatever you heard…"

"Please," Gary begs and reaches out as if to stop me again. "I just really need someone…" Looking at Gary and how desperate he looks I can't bring myself to turn him away. But why me? Out of all people.

"Fine, what's up." Gary's eyes lights up momentarily and I try to figure him out. There's just always been something about him that was a bit off, but I could never put my finger on it.

"My life is going to shit," He starts in a depressed voice. And wow, what an opening? "I think I've-no I'm pretty sure that I fucked things up...and I need help."

"Well, for starters you can tell me what it is that you 'fucked up'?"

"I'm falling for someone, but I want someone else. And I just can't have someone else."

"Are we talking about three different people here?"

"Yes. Let's call the first guy my joker, second guy my ace, and the third guy...my spade."

"Any reason why?"

"No, not really...Anyway, I care alot about the joker and he has confessed that he does to. I'm just unsure as to what I really want. Whether what I feel could actually be love? I don't want to hurt him, but I can't make up my mind.

The ace, he...he is someone that I didn't even know I needed. He's difficult, but I dote upon him and have been there to pick up his pieces, but he still refuses to allow me to love him, to be with him even though I know him better than anyone.

And the spade I'm there at his every beck and call and he knows every crevice of my being, but we both want two different things, I sometimes feel like it's just an excuse just to keep us apart...to establish some sort of distance no matter how small."

"Do you want my opinion?"

"Yes, please," Gary says and we stop in our tracks. Funny, I barely noticed that we had begun walking this far.

"Always go with your gut. If you're feeling like you're going to hurt the joker just let him be. It's going to be hard seeing as they've made a deep impression on you, but if you really care let him go. If you don't I feel that you would ultimately end up ruining things between the both of you.

Now, the ace, sounds as if no matter what you do or say and how much they show themselves to you, you still can't have all of them. It's unrequited and it's not going anywhere. Ace sounds like they're more than willing to keep you on a ledge hoping and praying that they'd choose you only to disappoint and fiercely hurt you in the end. Get away from Ace.

Stop letting that fucker suck you dry. And spade...they have a hold on you. You're devoted to them to no end and will literally do anything for them, but dude, don't you're giving him so much of you, you've basically put your soul in his hands and told him not to crush it without any repercussions." I stare Gary in the eyes, "Do you trust spade?" I ask.

"Yes," Gary says without any hesitation.

"Don't. People can be cruel and don't think for a second that spade won't step all over your soul and crush it into a million pieces, okay? Hold on to the shred of dignity that I know you have dearly. No matter how big or...small it is."

Gary just nods and I release my grip on his upper arm that I did know that I had. "Wow, Kenny you-it's as if you know everything," Gary goes on to say and I shake my head.

"Not everything."

"It's like you have it all figured out. Do you?" I look at Gary briefly before answering.

"Not really. I mean I have problems of my own."

"And you probably don't want to share." Gary and I meet eyes before we both burst into laughter.

"It's fine," He goes on to say and I begin to feel a little more relaxed around him. "I'm pretty good at guessing."

"Go for it."

"Hmm," Gary holds his forefinger under his chin as if thinking hard about his answer, "Does it have anything to do with a certain red headed boy we all know and love."

"Humph, how'd you figure," I ask, slightly impressed.

"I would have to be blind not to see the way you both practically glare holes into each others skull or sulk when you think the other isn't looking. I take it as he did something wrong."

"Maybe he did and maybe he didn't, maybe it was me that messed up."

"Knowing Kyle I'm almost certain that it was something that he did. So what is it?"

I pause contemplating on whether I should actually tell Gary about my problems, I've always been more of the listener, the one to help everyone else. The only person I would ever really tell my problems to was Butters...

"As you most likely know, Stan and Kyle are hanging out again. And it shouldn't be a problem and I should be happy seeing as they aren't fighting anymore and I'm no longer caught in the middle, but I'm just truly afraid.

Afraid that Kyle will somehow fuck this all up and that it will ruin Stan and I be damned if I let Stan breakdown again. And honestly..." I chew the side of my cold lips, deciding to just go with the wind and blurt out how I really feel right now, "I feel as if Kyle doesn't even deserve someone like Stan.

How come out of all the people in South Park, did Stan have to be drawn to Kyle? And even now, after Kyle hurt him so bad, he just let him back into his life as if not even a year ago Kyle was causing complete and utter chaos in his life. I just...I want what's best for Stan."

"But what is best for Stan?"

"I don't know. But it can't be Kyle...not this version of him anyway. Kyle's not the same person he used to be, he's colder and capable of causing so much hurt. I love him to fucking death, but he's such a lost cause."

"So what do you want?"

"I want Kyle to stay away from Stan."

"I can help you."

"Help me?" I laugh humorlessly, "How?"

"You're not the only one that Kyle's fucked over."

"So because you have a grudge?"

"No. I know this sounds strange, but I feel that we both understand each other in some weird way. We're intune. Plus, you helped me, it will only be fair that I help you out."

"But how?"

"What if I told you that I can get proof that Kyle is planning on fucking Stan Marsh over."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. Just one tiny clause, you have to be of assistance to me.

"Fine," I agree and Gary holds his hand out.

"So do we have a deal?"

"Of course," I take Gary's cold hand in mine and squeezes it tightly before letting go, his fingers ghosting across my skin causing the tiny hairs to rise on my arm before I quickly stuff both my hands inside of my parka.

Gary and I quickly part ways as everyone began to spill out into the parking lot and I quickly make my way inside of the boys bus and to my seat, wrapping myself in one of the spare wool blankets lying on my seat the sound of the AC blowing out heat steadily humming in my ear.

"Hey, guys I'll be right back," I tell Sandy, Scott, and Jimmy before walking over to Red who I just watched storming away from somewhere. She stops suddenly and albeit reluctantly considering her clenched fists that hang at her sides and doesn't turn around. I touch her shoulder like I've done many times before and her tense shoulders sag. "Rebecca, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing it's just," She says as she finally faces me, "I don't want to be that girl that complains to you about your girlfriend, but she's my friend and my friend is being completely unfair."

"What did she say?"

"No, no, I'll deal."

"Just tell me what she said Rebecca."

"I said no Toke. That's not what's important, look I understand that we've been spending a lot of time together and that is unfair to Nichole. So forget about me and," Red releases a shaky breath and Token takes in the fact that she's not wearing her red coat and most likely planned on getting on the bus. "Go be with your girlfriend."

Forget her? "Wait, forget you, Rebecca you're not making any sense. I can't forget you I just want to-"

"Help? Well, then go help by being with Nichole, please," Red pleads and I close my mouth and give Red a sharp nod and she stares at me hard before walking away. I grit my teeth at the sound of her concealed cries as I force my feet over towards the buses and up to Nichole and a group of her friends.

"Nichole." Said girl turns around a smiles brightly at me.

"Hey, Token! Where have you been?"

"What did you say to Red?" I ask cutting straight to the point.

Nichole's smile falters and she quickly glances to the side at her friends before returning eye-contact with me. "Nothing that she didn't deserve," she says causing loud snickers from the few girls behind her.

"What? Whatever you said to Rebecca just apologize."

"Are you serious right now? You want me, to apologize to a girl who has does nothing, but take you away from me? Well, I'm sorry I offended you and your little 'friend'. "

I refrain from replying to her 'friend' remark and address her problem, "She does not take me from anyone. I am my own person Nichole."

"So, does that mean you just don't want to be with me anymore? Considering that you do not mind that you spend most of your time with her anyway."

"No, I don't-look it's not like that!"

"Then how is it Toke?! What about me? What about us?!"

"We're still here."

"Doesn't feel like it. Gosh, Token we have so much planned, don't you still want that?" Nichole asks incredulously.

"You know what, I don't."

Nichole freezes and a look of pure disbelief takes over her face. "What-what are you talking about Token?" She asks and its gut-wrenching.

"I don't want it. The house in San Francisco, the white picket fence, college... none of it."

"Of course you do, we-" Nichole tries and I can see the pain in her eyes, but I remain firm. She wanted the truth. Here it is.

"I didn't plan anything. I never did."

"But you must have, I seen your applications, you said you sent them."

"I lied. I never sent them out."

Nichole looks heartbroken and at this point we have gathered the attention of almost everyone outside. "I couldn't do it."

"What do you mean you couldn't do it, this is your future Token!" And what about your parent's what will they think?"

"I don't know what they'll think," I lie. I know what that they will be disappointed in me, but I will deal with them when the time comes."

"But you have so much potential Token and you-you're just going to throw it all away? For what?

"I don't know yet, but I can't pretend that we want the same things anymore. I want more than this cookie cutter life that you and my parents configured."

I know that I'm breaking her heart and that we have made a scene, but I can't hold onto this anymore. I can not continue to live a lie. I really do love Nichole and now the pain I've causes her may just be the end of us.

"Do you still see a future with us?" Nichole asks that dreaded question...and I answer it honestly, she deserves as much. "I don't know. I still do love you Nichole, I really do."

"Then why can't you just say that we will be together like I always wanted, like you always wanted."

"I won't lie to you. Not anymore, not about this."

"What am I supposed to do with that Toke? What am I supposed to do with a maybe?" She asks and I can hear the tears in her voice as she stares at me with those brown eyes that always seemed so sure and confident everytime she looked at me.

I grit my teeth to prevent myself from saying something idiotic, something that would give her false hope, another lie. Instead I leave, not wanting to watch tears continue to fall down her beautiful brown cheeks.

Every step feels like I'm walking in quicksand as I make my way to the bus past curious and shocked eyes.

As soon as I'm outside I reveal in the coolness of the night air. I stayed inside later than everyone else to make sure there were no stragglers before boarding the bus. Having taken the back exit I walk the trail to the lot where the buses are parked and as I don't spot any familiar faces or anyone at all as I continue. As I turn a corner I'm suddenly grabbed.

"Stanley."

"Wha-what, what was that for?" I ask Damien clearly caught off guard as I turn around properly to look at him.

"I have information that you need to take heed of," Damien says so seriously that all I can do is stare completely confused. I've never seen Damien act like this before and it's honestly freaking me out.

"Okay," I say not knowing what else to say in this moment.

"You're sister. She's...in danger."

"Shelly? What-how?" I ask trying to process this new and unwelcome information.

"She's being hunted. Someone want to get rid of her. She's became privy to a secret that was supposed to stay hidden and now she's at risk."

"At risk of what?" I ask as my pacing pauses and Damien he stares back and like always I can't read him.

"She's in danger," He repeats.

"How do you know?" Damien just gives me one of his knowing looks and without anymore questions I believe him. "What do I do?" My voice shakes and I curse myself and turn away and Damien lays his right palm on my shoulder. I can feel myself getting carried away and I can't stop it...

"She's just arrived in California a couple hours ago. The best solution I see at this moment would be to go to her. And fair warning Stanley...be weary of who you choose to share this information with. The authorities will not help you.."

I turn to face the dark haired boy, "What do you mean the authorities won't-" Before I can finish this sentence Damien has disappeared. "FUCK!" I pace for a few seconds before making my to the buses silently grateful I decided to take this trail.

I need to keep calm or find a little piece of sanity to at least be able to pretend that everything is alright. I try to calm my nerves, not really knowing what to do at this point as I walk with my arms crossed behind my head.

I need to formulate a plan of some sort. My mind is spinning so badly that I barely feel Kyle's fingers slip between mine, it isn't until he squeezes my hand do I notice how gone I was.

"What's wrong?" He asks, playing with my fingers and I'm grateful that the lights are out and that most people are sleeping at this point anyway. Even with this action I didn't notice how much I needed this from him and how it clears my mind for just even a millisecond.

I squeeze back and I can tell that Kyle's on the verge of sleep as well as I reply with a simple, "Nothing. I'll be okay." He just continues to look at me a little more and I try my best to muster up a reassuring smile, silently praying that he's too sleepy to press me about this. Looks like my prayers are answered as

Kyle just nods before leaning against his travel pillow that is pressed up against the window and falling back to sleep. It'll be okay.

It'll all be okay.

Right?