Elliot drove around aimlessly for hours trying to process what Olivia had told him. I have a daughter. We have a daughter. Elliot really didn't know how to forgive Olivia, or if he even wanted to. How could she do this to me? How could you do this to us? He eventually found himself out by Brighton Beach, sitting in his SUV, staring at the dark ocean. There was so much he wanted to know. So much he deserved to know. But unfortunately, the only person who could give him the answers he needed, and wanted, was Olivia. After a long while, Elliot put his SUV into drive, and headed back to Manhattan.

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Olivia was lying in bed, wide awake, when she heard the knock on her door. She glanced over at her clock and saw the time…3:25AM. Under normal circumstances, she would be alarmed that someone was knocking on her door in the middle of the night, but tonight was not normal. Nothing would ever be normal again. She knew exactly who it was. She slipped out of bed, and padded her way to the front door, glancing quickly through the peephole just to confirm what she already knew.

"Liv…it's me. Let me in." Olivia took a deep sigh, opened the door, and stepped to the side allowing Elliot to enter. After closing the door, she stepped into the dining room with him, and brought her tear-filled gaze to meet his eyes.

"You said you had lunch with her today. Here…in the city?" Olivia nodded, but didn't break her gaze. "So, she's here in New York. What's her name?" Olivia let out the breath that she didn't even realize she was holding in, and answered Elliot's question. "Her name is Ella…Ella Humphreys. And yes, she's here in the city. She's from Salem, Oregon, but came here to find me. To find us."

Elliot swiped his face with his hand, and then raised both hands to the top of his head. "She wants to meet me?" Olivia nodded, and gave Elliot a gentle smile. "Don't smile at me Liv. I don't know how to forgive you for this. I can't believe you kept this from me!" The way he spat the words at her made Olivia cringe, knowing just how much she hurt him. She could see the pain and hurt in his eyes. Elliot could see the compass necklace that he gave her dangling around her neck, and he fought the urge to ask for it back.

Olivia's eyes began to tear up, feeling the wrath of Elliot's anger. "El, will you let me try to explain?" Elliot took a seat at the dining room table, leaned back in the chair, and crossed his arms over his chest. All the while, never taking his eyes off of her. She could feel his eyes boring through her as she lowered herself into a chair across the table.

"I want to know everything, and don't lie to me." Olivia clasped her hands together and set them on the table, and looked Elliot directly into his now dark blue eyes.

"When I was offered to go undercover for the FBI in Oregon, I decided to go because I knew you were struggling with the state of your marriage and the separation. We were enjoying each other, but I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere at that point. I needed to get away, so the UC gig was sort of perfect. But right before I left, I found out I was pregnant."

Elliot sat stoic, trying desperately to contain his anger. "Why didn't you tell me Olivia?"

Olivia fidgeted in her seat. "El…you were struggling so much with your marriage, and I knew you didn't want to go through with a divorce. And I knew you'd feel an obligation to me just because of a baby. I wasn't going to be the reason your marriage didn't work out. Please try to understand that."

Elliot stood up angrily and paced alongside the table. "You decided I didn't need to know my own child! My own daughter! How could you do that to me Olivia?!"

Olivia attempted to calm the situation. "El…let me finish, okay?" Elliot sat down and tried to regain his composure. He crossed his arms again, and focused his eyes on her. "Okay Olivia…continue."

Elliot's use of her full name, and not her nickname did not go unnoticed by Olivia, and it was breaking her heart. "I was scared and confused. I didn't know what to do. I knew you were going to go back to your wife and kids…as you should have. I wasn't prepared to raise a child by myself, so I decided to give it up for adoption. I was able to complete my first assignment with the FBI before I was really showing."

Olivia could feel Elliot's gaze burning through her, and she tried to stay calm as she continued on. "After the first undercover assignment was a bust, I was going to be sent back to New York until they were ready to infiltrate the second activist group. At that point, I was showing and Agent Porter confronted me about it. I asked if the FBI could just keep me in Oregon so I could give birth and make plans for the adoption." Olivia took a deep breath, and used the exhale to try and calm her nerves. She hated seeing how heartbroken Elliot was as he processed the fact that Dean Porter knew about this child, when he did not.

"After I gave birth, I kept her with me for a while…a short while. When the second UC assignment started, I handed her over to the adoption agency. They had a mandatory three month hold for adoptions that allowed the birth mother to change her mind." Olivia tried to steady her shaking hands before continuing on. "When I returned to New York, I came to meet with Cragen, and I saw you with your new partner. I didn't know where you and Kathy stood, but you seemed very close with Dani, so I left, and flew back to Oregon. I tried to figure out what I wanted to do. I was so scared and sad. So very sad."

Elliot tried to keep his emotions in check. He hated seeing Olivia so terrified, but his anger prevented him from showing her any compassion.

"Cragen called me a little while later about coming to help you with the Masoner case. I kept trying to figure out where you were with your relationship with your partner, or with Kathy. But then, soon after, you told me that Kathy was pregnant, and at that point I knew you were never going to be with me. So I called the adoption agency, and authorized them to go forth with any adoption."

Olivia slowly looked up at Elliot and she felt her heart shatter. He was sitting there with tears in his eyes and falling down his cheeks. He literally had no expression on his face. She never wanted to hurt him like this.

"El…can you say something?" Elliot wiped his hand down his face, and shook his head, trying to process everything. "So you gave birth to our daughter, and you just left her in Oregon?" Olivia nodded at his question, her heart breaking at his bluntness.. "How did she find you?"

Recalling what Ella had told her, Olivia explained the agreement she had signed with the adoption agency, and how Ella's parents assisted her with finding her mother. "And yesterday, she just showed up. After we talked, I wanted to confirm the adoption and her DNA. TARU helped me, and Melinda ran a DNA test that I received earlier today. All very hushed. And she's my daughter."

Elliot's head angrily snapped to look at her. "She's OUR daughter!"

They both sat quietly at the table, but you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. "Olivia…how could you do this to me?" Elliot's pleading voice ripped out whatever was left of Olivia's heart. "I never intended to hurt you Elliot. I was terrified. I was lost. I was confused. I had no idea how to take care of a child on my own, and I just wanted her to have a good life. A life where she would be loved and supported by two parents." Olivia looked at Elliot with pleading eyes. "Elliot…if I had come back with a child, you would have known immediately. It would have destroyed everything for you and your family."

His heart breaking, Elliot stood up and bent over the table and put his face close to hers. "She would have had a great life with us…her real parents. You robbed her of that. And me!" Elliot stood up and walked towards the door, stopping as he put his hand on the door knob. With his back to Olivia, Elliot quietly spoke. "I want to meet her, but not with you. I expect you to arrange that for me." Olivia whispered, "Okay. I'll call Ella in the morning."

Elliot lowered his head and shook it slowly from side to side. "Ella. My daughter. I don't think I can ever forgive you Olivia." And with that, Elliot opened the door, crossed the threshold, and slammed the door closed behind him.

Olivia stood while tears rolled down her face, and she let out a guttural sob as she dropped to the floor where she lay crying all night…clutching the compass necklace, and mourning the future they could have had.