Diesel's Inner Crisis

Written by Rachel Ravens, Zack Wanzer and James Riddle

Takes place after Duck and the Diesel Engine, during Not So Devious Diesel and during Resource and Sagacity

To say that stories about the Island of Sodor spread quickly is an absolute understatement. Jackie and Collet were well on top of the incident that I had caused with their brother, and made sure that the other engines - some of those engines being Duck's other siblings and cousins - knew it as well.

"A-are you sure he did that, Jackie?" I heard Paxton ask in surprise. He was younger than me, and it always astounded me that some of the steam engines accepted him before me.

"I'm afraid so, Paxton," sighed Jackie. "I can only imagine what Duck would be going through right now."

"Goodness gracious," said a large steam engine to Collet. He was a King Class, and they were the largest engines to ever grace the Great Western Railway. "Duck was such a good pupil. How could that lying box on wheels hurt him like that?"

"As I always say, King James," said Collet, "watch your back around diesels. They are not to be trusted."

What was his problem? Diesels can be trusted. Duck just happened to get on my bad side. How could he not tell me what trucks to get? He was supposed to be showing me around…

"Oi, Diesel!" came another voice from behind me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I glanced back to see two more of my brothers; both of them having Cockney accents. How Paxton and I didn't end up with those accents is beyond me.

"Oh, Arry, Bert," I said in surprise. "I didn't see you there."

"'Ow'd the trial go?" asked Bert.

"Oh, I don't know," I growled. "I'm back here barely a week after I left, and now I'm the subject of gossip all over Paddington yards. How do you think it went?!" At this point, I wish I had hands so I could slap Bert in the face.

"Alroite, no need ta snap, it was just a question," muttered Bert.

"Jeez, Diesel," sighed Arry. "Wot 'appened on the oiland, exactly?"

"Where do I even begin?" I grunted. "Long, complicated story, but the short version is the station pilot, Duck - who just so happens to be Jackie and Collet's brother - got short tempered with me and left me to my own devices in the yard. Then–"

"Wait, 'ow can a duck be the brother o' two pannier tanks?" asked Bert.

"That's 'is name, idiot!" snapped Arry.

"Nickname, actually," I grunted. "Anyway, after that, I tried to get back at him. I…" I swallowed hard, as Jackie and Collet's words came back to me. "…made up tales about him telling nicknames about three main line engines, Henry, Gordon and James - not the same James as the one over there - to the trucks."

"An' some'ow, that got ya sent back?" asked Arry.

"Not quite," I said. "I also told a fib about Henry being an imposter, and that was the final straw."

Arry and Bert stared in shock. I had to admit, I was pretty shocked at the story myself. Did I really go that far just to get back at Duck? And then dragging Henry, Gordon and James into this?

"That's really rough, brother," said Bert quietly.

"Those steamies didn't give ya a fair chance at all," added Arry. The word "steamie", for those of you wondering, is considered a derogatory slur against steam engines, something I didn't know at the time.

"Well… I didn't exactly meet all of them on the island," I said quietly. "There were some at the coal mine and I believe some on three branch lines…"

"Wow, there aren't any diesels there yet?" scoffed Bert. "It's all steamies?"

"There were three electric engines, but that's it," I sighed. "All of them contained to their own branch line leading up to some mountain railway and an abandoned aluminium plant."

"Blimey, this railway's worse than Oi thought," grunted Arry. "Self-containin' the modern engines while leavin' the relics to run wild. Their controller mus' be mad!"

"It won't be long before them kettles get the idea they're superior to us just cause they was 'ere first," agreed Bert.

"If only there were a way we could keep that from 'appenin'," muttered Arry ominously.

I cocked an eyebrow at my brothers' comments, but didn't say anything. From the brief time I was able to talk civilly with Gordon and James, they seemed to be rather decent engines, if a bit self-important. As for the controller, Sir Topham Hatt was determined to figure out why his engines constantly got bad coal, and to get to the bottom of where those lies came from.

For a long time afterwards, many of the engines would give me the cold buffer. Honestly? I couldn't really blame them, after what I did. Only Arry and Bert would go near me without hesitation, and yet… I felt myself running over icy rails whenever I was near them. I didn't know why, but something about these two felt rather… off.

One day, our manager came over to us.

"Diesel, Arry and Bert," he said, "you three are to be reassigned to another shunting yard."

"Where is it, sir?" asked Arry.

"Barrow-in-Furness."

Internally, I felt my breath quicken. Barrow-in-Furness?! That was the station right before Vicarstown… where Sodor was. Could I really go down there? Oh, Great Railway forbid if Duck somehow sees me…

"Aw, great," muttered Bert. "Do we 'ave ta go down there?!"

"Yes, you do!" snapped the manager. "Barrow-in-Furness needs some shunters, and I've chosen you three. Unless you prefer being assigned to a Waste Dump instead, I suggest you hop to it."

"Let's jus' go," Arry grunted. "Oi'm too tired ta argue."

"Besides," added Bert, "Anything's better than a waste dump."

The three of us slowly and reluctantly made our way down to Barrow. When we all eventually got there, even though Arry and Bert were disgruntled, they saw a building that piqued their curiosity.

"Cor," said Bert to Arry. "Wot's that buildin' there?"

"Oi'm not sure," said Arry. "It's quite a 'aunting sight, wouldn't ya think?"

"Maybe we should ask our new manager 'bout it later," said Bert.

"Indeed," said Arry. "Diesel, what do ya think o' it?"

"Huh?" I looked up in surprise, having completely tuned out my brothers in my stress. "Oh, yeah, a big building with an eerie red light. Look, we've got shunting to do. We don't have time for that!"

I didn't realize it at the time, but the "big building with the eerie red light" was something far more sinister than I could have imagined. Miraculously, none of us made real contact with the Sudrians; Arry and Bert were disgruntled and I managed to hide on the other side of the yards whenever they came in, though Arry and Bert's comments about them were… far from positive. That's partly why, when Duck had his accident with the Flying Kipper, I volunteered to go to Sodor in place of my brothers.

"What?" I snapped when Bert asked me if I wanted to go back there. "I just want to go there so I can joke about how the Flying Kipper appears to be cursed. Besides, knowing my luck, I'd probably come back as soon as Duck's repaired."

My second trial on the island went about as well as you'd expect at first; everyone was avoiding me like the plague and wondering why I would be asked back. But on my last day, I had shunted a train for an engine named BoCo. I was very surprised to learn a diesel had come to the island and remained there, and apparently, there was also a narrow gauge diesel named Rusty.

"You shunted the trucks pretty well," BoCo said with a small smile.

"Er… thanks." I was surprised; no one besides Arry and Bert had complimented me in a long time. And the one time Henry thanked me on my second trial was because he didn't know it was me.

"I just don't understand," BoCo went on, "What made you do what you did? The engines here are nice, if you get to know them right."

That question took me aback; no one had asked me my side of the story either. Everyone was so caught up in taking Duck's side. I'm wondering if the saying "the victors write history" had some merit to it. "Well, I guess… before I even started lying, Duck was very short tempered with me, and I don't know why. Then he asked me to get some trucks, but didn't tell me which ones. And… I know he called me to try and stop, but I got angry and… from there on out, my anger just spiralled out of control."

BoCo closed his eyes, taking it all in. "Sounds like there were faults on both sides," the Metro-Vickers said quietly. "However, do you know Donald and Douglas' reasons for being here, or at least one of them?"

"Er… not really," Apparently, Donald and Douglas - a pair of twins from Scotland - arrived not too long after my failed trial, but that was all I really knew. "Whenever there's Sodor gossip on the mainland, I always try to drown it out."

"It's because of…" BoCo paused and glanced around the area before dropping his voice to a whisper, "…scrap. And unfortunately, diesel power is the main culprit."

What?! I felt sick to my frames. That can't be true… can it?

"Scrap?!" I gasped, my breath caught in my radiator. "Because of diesels? But… surely not even the most devious engine would want to wish that upon their worst enemy."

"You'd be shocked at how cruel the world can be, Diesel," sighed BoCo. "One of the twins was purchased and the other ran away with them to try and fight for survival. Maybe Duck felt threatened by your presence. Even some diesels like me have been threatened with the scrappers torch."

That's why he snapped at me?! Oh… Great Railway above… I was devious, yes, but scrapping? I couldn't do that… Would Arry and Bert try that? No… they wouldn't… They're my brothers, of course they wouldn't…

Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to figure out where my brothers stood, because Thomas, Annie and Clarabel had an incident on the Ffarquhar branch line. BoCo volunteered me to go and check it out, and… surprisingly, that was one of the best moments I ever felt. And, even more miraculously, I was given the option to stay on the island and decided to take it.

The days that followed… were far from easy. Duck was very upset when he saw me again - now repainted in a lighter green than before with the number eight on his sides - and I also misunderstood an incident with the Ghost Train. That… went really poorly with Duck, Thomas and Percy. I won't tell you all the details about that, but after Thomas and Percy left, Duck stayed back to chat with me.

"Do you know why Thomas has a bad history with the ghost train?" he asked.

"What does a made up story have to do with Thomas?" I retorted.

"He nearly fell down a mine and he had nightmares that he actually was that ghost from the movie!"

My eyes widened in shock. An engine being buried alive?! That's no fate for anybody.

"Oh my…" I gulped. "I… I didn't realize it would have that kind of effect on him. I'll… apologize to him as soon as I see him next."

"I'm not sure how long it will take for Thomas to come around," muttered Duck.

I'd have a lot to learn for sure, and the engines didn't want me to hang around Tidmouth for a while, so I slept at Knapford sheds. Around that time, it was announced a new goods train would be starting for the North Western Railway - the Midnight Goods. Why on earth would a goods train be out so late…? Your guess is as good as mine. In either case, Douglas was the one assigned to it, and I just hoped he would find some time to sleep after he got back.

Much to my surprise, Douglas let out a special code whistle the next day - one long whistle followed by two short ones.

"Douglas," I said, "what's the emergency?"

"Code rid meetin'," he replied curtly; Donald was close behind him.

For those of you who don't know, the indignation meetings had three levels of urgency - green, which means it was something minor; maybe some passengers who had been irritating us. Yellow, something major like a new engine into the fleet who had been rude to us. And red; these ones were considered emergencies, drop everything and go. Green and yellow meetings meant we had to have them when no one was busy, which is understandable - engines have to run railways, you know.

We all hurried over to the sheds; Douglas taking up the position on the turntable. The main line engines and I were in the berths, along with Donald, Edward and BoCo, and the others stood around the turntable. When a meeting takes place, the engine who addressed us is the one to take control of the meeting.

"Engines o' th' North Western 'n' otherwise," said Douglas, "lest nicht at Barrow-in-Furness, Ah fun a tank engine 'n' brake van wha come fae th' Western Region."

"The Western Region?!" gasped Duck. "That tank engine might be a cousin of mine!"

"What on earth would they be doing so far away from the Western Region?" asked Nicole, one of the Midland Railway engines - Midis for short - on long term loan. "Barrow's in the London Midland Region."

"Th' same reason Ah wis," Douglas almost whispered. I had a feeling that Donald was told this before the rest of us, but we all immediately put two and two together.

"We can't let that happen to those two," gasped Julie.

"Ah'm worried that some mainland diesel kin sneak in 'n' tak' him back," said Douglas. "Ah fun a pair o' thaim doon at Barrow."

Oh… my… Godred. He couldn't be referring to…

"Er… they wouldn't happen to be 08s like me, would they?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level. "And with a Cockney accent?"

"Aye," Douglas said quietly; my radiator flipped at the confirmation. "Why de yer ask?"

"Arry and Bert, I thought so," I growled, hardly daring to believe it. "Stay clear of those two. They can be… well… to put it mildly… malicious, in a way that even I wasn't when I first got here."

Could this have something to do with that eerie red light building I saw? Were Duck's cousin and that brake van nearly victims of my two brothers?! Were other engines and rolling stock going to fall as victims to them? Has anyone been a victim of them already?! I felt so sick right at that moment, and wanted to vent… but I decided to try and remain calm; after all, Sir Topham Hatt would know what to do.

And he did. Oliver and Toad were both purchased by the North Western Railway, bringing the officially owned steam engine total to eleven, and Duck was ecstatic to have a family member around. I wish I could say the same for my two family members…

If there was one thing that I was going to stick with me in my life, is that I wasn't going to let any of the Sudrians fall victim to Arry and Bert. Despite my trip ups, they had become more like family to me than either of them would ever be. Dare I say it, Duck has been gaining my respect, and so has Oliver. Maybe one day, we could be friends… but I know that will be a while yet.

The End

This was a POV I was hoping to do for quite a while. Diesel's inner thought process through his days as an early Sudrian and his relationship with Arry and Bert pre-Sodor days is quite a rough ride for the poor guy. He just needs a comforting word or two. Minor notes to take here are that Diesel describes how indignation meetings operate and the Sudrians often use the term "oh my Godred" when something shocking does happen. It's a bit weird, but I imagine that sometimes do it as a reminder to outsiders of the island that they are Sudrians, and even newbies like Diesel do learn basic lore of their old king's history.