Origin of the Pixies

by FountainPenguin

"I wasn't finished." Setting my glasses down on Cupid's stack of translations, I leaned back on my rusty stool. "The Wolbachia pipientis bacteria changes the entire reproductive system of the host insect. Those who've caught it don't just lose the ability to reproduce with other species. They gain the ability to reproduce parthenogenetically." (Written March 2016 - Ongoing)

31. From Straw to Gold

(Posted January 15, 2019)

From Straw to Gold

Winter of the Red Petals

---

Iris agreed to meet with me on Thursday, which meant that after the church service, Emery would be home for the weekend to watch my pixies. This also meant that with magic on my side, I had enough time to swing by the Blue Castle to pick up the cutlery set I'd forgotten to take back from Anti-Bryndin.

It was early. My pixies were still in bed, or at least inside their cabin. I woke up Emery by shaking her shoulder. She jerked awake with a yelp and startled her cat sith, who hissed and fluffed up his white fur.

"Fergus-"

"Please?" I pressed my hands together. "He scryed me personally to remind me I'd left them, and if I wait any longer, I might not be back in time to meet Iris. That would make a bad impression on her."

"Smoofing geez… Fine."

So, Emery got me as far as the Divide Gate on Mount Olympus. The camarilla court member on duty on the Anti-Fairy's side of the border actually was Anti-Emery, and we chatted for a moment while she scribbled down my information. She didn't poof me to the Castle, but she did angle me the right direction and tell me where to find the warm updrafts at this time of day, so that was helpful. I like to think I made it there a bit quicker on my own wings than I had on the flying carpet.

In the garden leading up to the Castle door, I stopped short. Anti-Cosmo and a couple of other young anti-fairies were setting a newly-painted sculpture into place between a few of the garden's more grotesque ones, using their strength instead of magic. It was the selkie overseeing them who caught my attention most. My wingbeats faltered, and I landed in the grass with a trot. She noticed me instantly. When she looked up, our eyes met.

"Head Pixie," she said, tucking a twirl of hair behind her ear with a paint-spattered hand. She reached the other towards me in stiff greeting. I looked down, and didn't unfold my arms from behind my back.

"China."

She glared at me, but in front of the anti-fairies, what could she do? I was Head Pixie, and as far as anyone in the Castle was concerned, she was a hired architect from Fairy World. She lowered her hand. "It's an honor to speak to you."

I sensed Anti-Cosmo peering at us from behind the sculpture, his ears pricked. His black cat sith stood at attention beside his leg. I kept China between him and me, lowering my voice to a level he maybe couldn't hear- at least not over the grunts and complaints of his peers struggling to set the statue straight on its podium. "You know, when you mentioned you'd been enjoying the occasional fling since we went our separate ways, I didn't realize you'd been seeing Anti-Fairies."

Her wings stiffened. Turning sharply, she said, "I haven't been, and even if I was, that would be none of your business."

"Really?" Unable to resist, I reached out with two fingers and placed them just below her chin. "Guppy, I make everything business."

China pushed my hand away. I cupped it into a fist. "I'd like to make you an offer, dear artist," I said.

"Whatever it is, sir, I'm afraid I must turn it down."

"That's a shame, because I have money to burn." I glanced over at the anti-fairies again. Anti-Cosmo ducked away in a pathetic attempt to pretend he hadn't been spying. "I'd like to commission a statue to stand in Pixie Village. It should be of me. I hope to have every muscle chiseled out. In excruciating detail."

China stared back at me without blinking. "And I suppose you want to be present for a series of nude sketches to ensure we get them all right."

"I think that would be appropriate. It must be of the finest quality. I'll spare no expense."

She opened her mouth to protest. She closed it. Her hand moved to her face, fingers spread and showing the webbing between. She thought for almost three straight minutes, silently, while I did my best to remain firm and imposing without moving more than the occasional blink of eyelids.

Then a small smile played across her lips. She looked at me again. "I think this can be arranged. I'm available this Saturday. Let me give you the address to my studio."

"Thank you. I look forward to it."

China scribbled the address on a scrap of parchment from her notebook, then tore it out and handed it to me. I folded it primly and tucked it in my hat. "Be sure to arrive freshly scrubbed of dust and sweat," she said. "We wouldn't want the Principle of Observation to get in the way."

"The Principle doesn't affect other Fairies."

"Who said your artist would be a Fairy?" She fluttered her fingers at me and sauntered over to Anti-Cosmo, leaving me staring blankly after her. Oh. Well. Shoot. That wasn't the plan. I couldn't afford this splurge in the first place, but I'd feel even more guilty if I wasn't able to exact some revenge out of it too.

"Mmm…" I pushed the card across my forehead and set one hand against my hip. "Ambrosine is going to kill me. Why can I never let a sleeping selkie lie?"

Oh well. I couldn't just cancel now. Rolling my eyes, I floated through the gardens towards the Castle. I did not miss the fact that Anti-Cosmo's cat sith crept after me.

I bumped into Anti-Bryndin just around the next row of hedges, watching over his son's shoulder as Anti-Phillip sketched several black and purple flowers known as witch's hips on a large sheet of parchment. He lit up when he saw me, and grabbed my hands.

"You came here! My intent was to deliver your gift to the Gate before you arrived in our world, but I had planned to wait until after lunch to bring it. I did not know you would come so soon."

"What can I say? I missed your face. In fact…" I glanced over my shoulder in China's general direction. She was just on the edge of my awareness, evaluating the work of the anti-fairies who'd moved the statue. I threaded my fingers through my hair and raised my voice just high enough for her to hear. "Anti-Bryndin, I was greatly impressed by your hospitality yesterday. Since I'm here anyway, would you care to preen with me?"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Anti-Phillip jolted. So did China, Anti-Cosmo, the others, and the cat sith. I stared across the plants for a moment, then wedged my pinky in my ear and scraped it around. "Wow. Am I deaf? I can't hear through this ear. No. There it goes."

When I looked back at Anti-Bryndin, he had his fists pressed over his lips, though they only half-covered his grin. His amber eyes danced like liquid fire in a jar.

"I mean." The hands came down. He looked away and adjusted an imaginary pair of glasses on his nose. "Ah. Yes, that is an interesting plan you have. I will check my schedule and attempt to make room for it. It is, as the juveniles say, whatever."

"Dear King Nuada," I muttered after he poofed away. "What have I done?"

I looked down at the anti-swanee sitting at my feet, whose deep orange eyes had turned the size of spilled milk puddles. He looked about Anti-Cosmo's age, his face freckled like a pilot's and only the black goatee stripe showing on his skin. I guess he must have plucked the 'mustache' pattern off. A soft hat covered his chimera horns. "It is Anti-Phillip, heir to the High Count seat, right?" I asked.

"I'm Winslow," he stammered out. His voice squealed in the most obnoxious way possible. I raised my eyebrow. No genetics test required.

"So that means yes, you're Anti-Phillip. Well, I'm the Head Pixie. Maybe you and I will be leading our people side by side one day. You might even work with my own heir."

Anti-Phillip mumbled something and scratched his quill across his parchment. "What was that?" I asked.

"It's tough," he repeated, louder. His wings bunched in, and he didn't raise his head. "I-it's tough to be the prince… Being High Count will be even harder. I'm supposed to make lists, and count things, and trade all the money, and buy every decoration every year, and organize stuff, and at every event I have to circle around and talk to everyone, and… I have to plan things instead of enjoying them. It's not fun!"

I thought for a moment, then nudged him with my foot until he looked up. "Blitz that," I said.

Beneath his hat, his ears went down. "Wh-what?"

"You think I've given up on parties just because I'm Head Pixie? Look around you. You're going to be High Count someday. You want to sip a little soda and try a little candy when you're older? Don't let anyone say you can't. It's your life."

"… Huh." Anti-Phillip blinked a few times, then looked over the flowers he'd drawn. "Um. Do you think that includes courting someone beneath my status? Because there's this one anti-fairy I've secretly liked for centuries, but I'm scared if I say anything to my papá, he'll chase them from the colony just to keep them away from me…"

"Go wild, kid. If Anti-Bryndin argues with you, just give me a scry and I'll talk to him."

Anti-Phillip added another flower to his drawing. "Well, maybe I'll ask him when I'm a little older. Did you know I'll be a big brother soon? My papá told me. Her name's going to be Lia Anti-Stacey. I wonder if she'll get to play with the other kids, or if she'll have to be a princess too."

Anti-Bryndin returned then with a bursting foop and cloud of smoke. Anti-Cosmo, who was not as sneaky as he thought he was, lost his grip on the tall statue he'd climbed on behind me. He smacked against the ground at an awkward angle. "Good news!" the High Count chirped, shining bright. "I gave my High Countess a job, so now we can make time for a deep preen! I will have Julius prepare your bath, so we can talk for a small time while we wait for it."

Anti-Cosmo pushed himself into a sitting position. "But I'm not a serva-"

"Julius, go."

Anti-Phillip winced sympathetically. Anti-Cosmo bowed his head and muttered agreement, but as he flew off, I noticed his hands clenching at the hem of his shirt. Anti-Bryndin smiled in a deliciously satisfied way, and I got the impression that he'd targeted Anti-Cosmo for this lowly task specifically. To me, he said, "I will lead you to the dressing room of the preening chamber, Head Pixie. Do come."

"One request first," I said, pointing behind me at the cat sith slinking beneath the hedges. "Can we leave that out here?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. Jasmine, go away."

Reluctantly, the cat sith uncurled from the shadows. She licked her forepaw twice, then trotted off without so much as a "Yes, High Count," just to show everyone that this was really all her idea. She vanished around the far corner of the Castle with a flip of her tail. I made a mental note to check for her outside the windows in the preening chamber.

"She is Julius' animal," Anti-Bryndin said to me. "Their emotions are unstable, so their doctor gave her to them. They like to pet her. She is here to do her job, and did not mean to spy or make you unhappy."

I kept my face straight, but inwardly, I wrinkled my nose. The cat sith stank of the Applespark family- they always had favoured emotional support animals over practicalities like medicine. Wish Fixers had lost a lot of clients once Holly took the reins and began luring the needy towards her instead.

Anti-Bryndin steered me through the Castle with cheerful flaps to his wings, though we moved slowly and made casual chit-chat for a while to give Anti-Cosmo a head start. At one point, we swerved sharply, cut through a thin courtyard, and entered another hall on the opposite side. Anti-Cosmo was waiting there with a platter of cheese, crackers, leafy vegetables, and fruit slices. Jasmine the cat sith crouched on his shoulder like a gargoyle. At Anti-Bryndin's command, he shifted the platter to a single hand and opened the door to a small sitting room. Our eyes met, sliding slowly across one another's before Anti-Cosmo dropped his gaze.

The walls of the sitting room were white, and the floor coated in brown mats. Anti-Bryndin and I found ourselves facing two cushions separated by a very low table built from some sort of polished stone. On it perched the world's most elaborate silver tea set, next to a pair of sparkling soda glasses. Anti-Cosmo flitted in after us, set down the tray, and picked up the teapot.

"Tea is fine," Anti-Bryndin said, gesturing to the nearest teacup. Anti-Cosmo filled it as directed, then looked at me.

"Any chance you have soda to go with those glasses?"

"Of course," he said, sounding miffed. "What flavor, sir?"

"Orange. I never can resist orange."

Anti-Cosmo nodded. Grasping the teapot's lid, he rotated it several ticks around. When he poured the drink in my soda glass, golden carbonated liquid poured out in a steady stream. I whistled a single approving note.

"Will there be anything else, High Count?" Anti-Cosmo asked, obviously hoping there wouldn't be. He returned the teapot to its default setting and placed it on its tray again.

"Only the baths, Julius. Thank you."

Anti-Cosmo bowed with elegance and left the room through a black door immediately behind me. Once he'd gone, Anti-Bryndin knelt beside one of the cushions. I sat on the other. "So," I said, leaning forward with clasped hands. "Tell me about yourself. You're Anti-Bryndin, High Count of the entire Anti-Fairy race. I know you're married to your High Countess, Anti-Elina. Lovely affair, or at least the news made it sound that way. I know you're an anti-swanee, though the crown suggests you're half common anti-fairy too. You like your scarf, and you represent the Year of Breath on the Anti-Fairy camarilla court. People say you're favored of Winni, the spirit of Communication and healing. That's about all I know."

Anti-Bryndin nodded, pulling his pillow into his lap. "I am of the Anti-Coppertalon family a long time. I was born in the line, son of Anti-Ember and her High Count Anti-Henrie, whose family are Anti-Northfeathers."

Yes, I knew Anti-Ember. Vicious strategist during the war, all credit where credit is due.

"As creche father of the Anti-Coppertalon colony, I work hard to raise many pups and make them comfortable. In my castle, I do not chase out young drakes and rivals so they will struggle for many years. No. Here, we teach drakes the skills they need when they leave their home. Damsels receive all fine education, like to raise animals, to guide and protect the children, to prune the berry branches, to sew, to weave, and the spinning wheel." Picking up the saucer that held his steaming teacup, he held it level with his chest. "Anti-Elina and I also try to listen to the young ones when they speak of their dreams, and many times we teach them the path to achieving those. We also teach them to protect themselves from umbrae, and it's true that my First General Anti-Buster predicts many futures."

"Traditional gentledrake," I observed.

Anti-Bryndin shrugged. "I am what the people expect of me. I am nothing without their support. They thought my mother a warrior, and so she was. They think me a peaceful and gentle one, and so I am." Crossing a leg over his knee, he said, "I am unfamiliar with the pixie race. Tell me of your people."

I thought for a moment while he sipped his drink. "Well. We're a young race, seeing as I'm the first of my people to even sit on the Council as an ambassador. I manage a small village in Fairy World, where I raise them. No Fairies there. Just us."

"How many are you?"

"Eleven."

"Thousand?"

"Eleven."

He frowned. "Hundred?"

I leaned back on my hand, sipping soda. "Eleven. There's me, Sanderson, Hawkins, Wilcox, Longwood, Caudwell, Bayard, Madigan, Keefe, and Springs. That's ten on site. There's also Graham. He was left at the Eros Nest. That would be eleven. I think that's all of them. I scared the smoke out of Anti-Cosmo the other day, though. I told him he'd forgotten to count one pixie in the garden. He didn't notice I was just including myself. It's my favorite trick to play on people who gloss over my pixies instead of paying attention to them. But I think I messed with his head."

The High Count slit his eyes, and I realized too late that he was probably counting up the presents he'd handed out on Winter Turn. I refused to tell him I'd slipped the last one in my pouch so I could drop it at the post office for Graham. I refused to pretend Graham wouldn't have wanted to be included. If it bothered him that he hadn't actually counted how many pixies I'd shown up with, well… Not my problem. He simply said, "And, what is the rate of pixie increase? Is this okay to ask?"

I eyed him for a second, wondering if he was expecting for me to describe my many wives and concubines, and if he'd totally forgotten it was our drakes who birthed the children. Not wanting to go into an abundance of detail about pixie reproduction, I said, "So far, I've had one nymph every five hundred years on average. They keep me busy. It's sort of the pixie way to birth a lot of offspring over our lives. Close together. Some see this as overwhelming, but pixies are stimulated by having a lot to do. We see rearing a ton of them together as an efficient distribution of resources and discipline."

Anti-Bryndin twitched his ears, possibly impressed. "All the ones you brought are yours? That is many."

"And I plan to have even more."

"So if this is common in your culture and will continue, with every one of your pixies having many, that would add up quickly to many and many."

"Yep. You can pretty much expect our race to multiply exponentially. Numbers are kind of our thing." I let out a soft whistle. "Imagine. In just a few hundred thousand years, there could be tens of thousands of pixies in the universe. And every one of them can trace their origins back to me."

It was a sobering thought. I looked at the soda glass in my hand, then set it down. Maybe it was time I started eating better.

Anti-Bryndin took another sip of his tea without breaking eye contact. "It interests me that you say that. It sounds as though your people plan to become numbered among the greats. Might I ask, what are your political agenda policies, as you are now a head of state? That is great power."

"Um. Well." I scratched my head. "I haven't gotten around to spelling it out for myself on paper yet. But generally, I'm for free travel between our nations, increased restrictions on magic usage, funding more tram systems for Fairy World's wingless population, doing away with the age of legal sugar consumption, enforcing strict population control for Fairies whose races aren't critically endangered, urging that Seelie Courters show more respect for their counterparts when it comes to major life choices like mates and stuff, government-funded pheromone fences around the edges of every cloud to keep nymphs and drones from wandering off, closer attention on the restrictions about Anti-Fairies in food prep occupations, legalizing black market goods, breeding more perytons for ivory harvest, shoeing more unicorns, domesticating kelpies, increased research into chimeras, improving relations with Alien nations, pursuing trade with the Refracted, and forcing those who hold extreme special interests out of our government. I'm also very interested in improving the recognition of Anti-Fairy rights in Fairy World just in general."

He smiled. "You are saying that because I sit here."

"That's why I emphasized it, but I said it in the first place because it's true." I clasped my hands in my lap and leaned forward. "I'm the one who bought out the Sugarslew chocolate factory about 3,500 years ago, if that tells you anything. I'm not afraid to do business with Anti-Fairies."

The smile faltered. Anti-Bryndin let it fade for a moment as he tapped a finger to his cheek. He sipped his tea and allowed his eyes to wander along the walls. Then he brought his attention to me again. The smile came back. "You are a curious drake, Head Pixie. Some of what you say you favor are the policies common with the Fairy people, but others are of interest to Anti-Fairies."

"What can I say? I don't like taking sides."

"I like this thing you said. But I wonder, perhaps instead of building more trams for Fairy World when they have many, you might consider putting that money to building the first trams for Anti-Fairy World instead."

"You want trams?" I'd never thought about it before, but I guess Fairy World and Anti-Fairy World were both built in a similar way: Pockets of stable clouds or floating chunks of rock that sprouted with plant life, contained a few wild animals, and were populated with markets and towns. "Why? Just to be clear, naiad Anti-Fairies aren't a thing, right? All your people can fly? Except the anti-amazons, but that's obvious."

Anti-Bryndin nodded. "I am thinking of the future, when perhaps our peoples are united again. Perhaps our trams could be used for tour. Many Aliens cannot fly, and this slows their visitations to Anti-Fairy World. It is only a suggestion, if you wished to help the Anti-Fairies. It is a kind and appreciated act, but you do not need to if it is too much."

"No, no, it wouldn't be impossible…" I rubbed my chin, flicking my eyes to the ceiling. "Hmm. Figuring out the power source could be an issue, but I think we could make it work if it's something you really want."

"Ah, it would be a marvelous gift for my people! I thank you much for your future generosity, Head Pixie." His head tilted in the other direction, fangs biting into his bottom lip. "I also wonder about that thing you said of chimera research. Is this not a classifying system on which Fairies and Anti-Fairies fall apart? Perhaps you could explain for me."

"If I can remember the differences. To you Anti-Fairies, chimeras are magical beings that feed on bad luck just like you guys. They're made from the parts of different animals, but they always have that look to them." I made pointy horns at my head with my fingers. "Your people have competitions during Friday the 13th where you hunt them for sport or something, right? Well, Fairies apply the term more widely, using it as a term for all magical-magical hybrid races rather than just a single species. Actually, that's where the swanee subspecies came from: early Aos Sí settlers crossbreeding with the cloudland's native chimera population. I think hybrids with one magical parent and one non-magical parent are called witches instead. Anyway, my belief is that more research could be done on chimeras to study hybrids and mutations."

Anti-Bryndin gazed at me, silent, brows pinched together. I looked at him again, with his horns scooping from his head, and inwardly twisted my wings. "Oh, smoof. You're an anti-swanee."

"I take no offense," he said quickly, raising his hands to chest level. "I know I hold this chimera title, which is a true name for me. Many anti-swanee are hybrids as you say, for my forefather bred with Nyria the swan maiden, who was of the native chimera. But in Vatajasa, we say 'umbrae' or 'demons' as names for the first creatures you describe. They walk the planes, and when they break the walls which protect our realm from the world of shadows and other lives, they hunt our children to smoke and bones. My people hunt them only to defend ourselves."

I folded my arms, clasping my elbows. "Well, if it makes you feel any better… I don't like people talking about it in front of my face, but by the Fairy definition, I'm a chimera myself."

His eyes flicked up and down my form. "But are you not wholly fae?"

"True, but this is the Fairy definition. I'm a special sort of hybrid. Absorbed my twin in the womb - Sanders, my father would have named him - and that left me with a different blood type than most Fairies. As well as a few other strange, possibly mutated aspects. In theory you'd think I'd have been born with twice the magic as usual, but I think I came out with half instead." I smiled wryly. "My genepool's a mess. Too much inbreeding, probably. Maybe you know the anti-pixies. They're green with yellow hair. Sorry. That's on me. Maybe I carry too many recessive genes."

The door behind me opened. Anti-Cosmo stepped out, petting Jasmine's head. She'd wrapped herself around the back of his neck. "I've prepared the bath, High Count."

"Yes." Anti-Bryndin clicked down his teacup and rose. "I shall prepare myself. Do join me soon, Head Pixie. And Julius, bring our snacks to the lava chamber. I would like more apples also."

For a beat, I thought Anti-Cosmo was going to deny him. His scent went sour, lower lip quivering in an insulted way. But instead, he bowed again. "Yes, High Count."

I paused in the doorway to the bathing room. "Anti-Bryndin? If this friendship is going to work, then I need one more piece of information before I can trust you."

"Oh?"

"What's your middle name?"

He and Anti-Cosmo both stiffened their wings. But to his credit, Anti-Bryndin didn't break eye contact. "My private name is Kitigan, Head Pixie."

"Good. I remembered that from when you were a royal kid presented to the public, so I'm glad you didn't try to lie to me. It would have ended badly." With that, I disappeared into the bathing room. Anti-Cosmo tailed me in silence.

As soon as the door shut, he said, "Anti-Bryndin doesn't share his private name lightly, sir. You should feel very honored."

"And you should stop sending your pet to eavesdrop on people having private conversations."

Anti-Cosmo's fur fluffed around his neck. "I wasn't-"

"I sensed her sitting by the door, dude. You underestimated my detection threshold. Fool's folly." While he fumed in embarrassment, I examined the bathing room. It was obviously meant for only one person to use at a time, with a bit of extra elbow room for castle servants to maneuver. The walls were bright and clean, and the room smelled like three kinds of citrus.

"Two doors?" I asked, pointing my thumbs in both directions.

"Water pool," Anti-Cosmo said, indicating the one on my right, and the left one, "Lava pool. Anti-Bryndin will wait for you in there."

I made a rapid floor plan of the space around us, then gave Anti-Cosmo a peculiar look.

"Under the courtyard," he clarified. "There will be stairs with soft, gripping tiles. We try to keep the area natural down there, so no artificial light sources. It's lit by the lava alone."

"And no windows for you to spy on us. You must hate that."

Anti-Cosmo frowned. "For your information, there is a hidden viewing balcony in the servant tunnel I can watch you from, but because I am a gentledrake of dignity, I assure you that you'll have your privacy. I am curious, not nosy."

I glanced around again. A basket of fluffy brown towels and seashell combs sat on the counter of the washing bowl. Beside it was the relief basin, then a curtain that had been pulled back to display a square washtub built directly into the floor, surrounded by loose yellow petals, hand soaps shaped like flowers, and transparent shampoo bottles- all of them full. On the rack behind me, a long red robe coated in a pattern of golden stars dangled from a hanger. I reached for it with my hand.

"Julius?" Anti-Bryndin called. "I need you here."

Anti-Cosmo pinched the bridge of his nose. "Drat. I have to open all the doors for Anti-Bryndin. Well, head down when you're ready, sir, and we'll await you there. With… more snacks." With pain in his eyes, he whispered, "Please eat all the cheese."

He poofed away. "He's got silk," I murmured, touching the robe's sleeve. I brought it to my nose and inhaled. "I've never preened in silk before."

I undressed and descended into the tub, holding my wings above the warm water. It took me three whole steps to reach the bottom, and when I spread myself out, I could barely touch the opposite walls. Not wanting to keep Anti-Bryndin waiting, and also not wanting to asphyxiate from tangled magic lines now that I'd removed the hat meant to filter them, I reluctantly hurried through the washing process and climbed out again. After pulling on the silk robe, I checked myself over in the mirror.

"Not bad for a drake who might be dead in 18,000 years." I searched my hair for white, then shrugged and pulled my hat back on. "Maybe Venus' drugs will come through for me after all."

Straightening my wings, I opened the door to the stairs and headed down into the dark. The tiles were grippy as promised, but the walls were stone and dirt. I stopped when I reached the dark curtain at the end. "Eh…"

"Is something wrong?" Anti-Cosmo asked, lifting it from the other side. I glanced at the crumpled curtain and rubbed my knuckles.

"Being underground isn't my idea of a good time. Bad memories."

He blinked. "You too?"

"Mine are different than yours." I swept past him, sizing up the surrounding space. The first thing I noticed was the scent of mint chocolate wreathing through the air. I could taste cold cookies on my tongue. This was followed by the smoky tang of rock and lava, then the scents of food from the serving platter. My shoulders relaxed. Anti-Cosmo had even refilled our drinks. Good for him.

The lava chamber didn't stretch as high as the Gathering chamber of the will o' the wisps had, but it was large nonetheless. The lava trickled through multiple pools, starting at the highest and pouring to each one through gentle falls between the rocks. There was more than enough space for even the largest Fairy to stretch out their wings, and the room was even longer than it was wide.

I spotted Anti-Bryndin near one of the upper pools, on the opposite side. He wore a blue robe with silver crescent moons scattered across it, but at that exact moment, he cast it off and flung it dramatically across the nearest decorative boulder. You'd think he was posing for an undergarment advertisement or something. He wore the stereotypical Anti-Fairy style: low-cut sleeveless shirt and shorts that were called shorts even though they were semi-long. Simple in design. When he rolled his shoulders, I glimpsed a glowing golden mark on the left side of his neck, just below his collarbone. A tattoo? I didn't think Anti-Fairies could get those on their hairy scales. It appeared to be some sort of ripple pattern, swirling and spiraling down over his breast, but I didn't want him to notice me looking, so I glanced away.

I was half hoping he'd bring his hands together in front of him and straight-up dive into the lava, but instead, Anti-Bryndin rested on the edge and dipped his feet in, then dropped down without dunking his head. Still in his underthings and all. He stretched his arms and began to kick. I watched him sweep from one end of the pool to the other, gliding with long strokes of his wings. That made sense, I guess. I mean, I'd heard that some bats fish, so I guess swimming is more natural for Anti-Fairies than us.

"I'll go now," Anti-Cosmo said, glancing at me.

"Seems time. Keep an eye on the cat sith."

"Yes, I'll keep an eye on the cat sith," he huffed, and vanished in a cloud of smoke. I kicked the air where he'd been just to make sure he'd really gone. He had. Good. I flew up the slanted floor and sat on one of the large rocks surrounding the upper pool. Crossing my legs, I pulled the serving platter into my lap and began to eat the crackers.

I'd made it through a third of them before Anti-Bryndin seemed to notice I was there. He paddled up to me, his hair completely dry. When he reached my spot, I gazed down at the pool and asked, "How deep is it?"

"It is some, but not many!" Anti-Bryndin gave my foot two pats. He beamed up at me the whole time. "The lava is thicker than water, which makes floating easy. Will you join me? If you struggle to move, I can help you. Is this okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine… I just can't swim well."

Anti-Bryndin made a perfect "?" sound with one of his squeaks. He lifted a finger towards my hat. "You wear a cohuleen druith. This hat lets you dive deep under the water and also lava. Is this so?"

I shrugged, not elaborating.

"Hmm," he said, studying me with thoughtful eyes. "I did not know swimming was a weakness for you. I will make a quiet note."

I didn't have an undershirt. Nonetheless, with his guidance, I shed my robe and carefully lowered myself into the lava. It snapped and blazed against my skin, warming me instantaneously, but didn't burn. I could feel the ridged tiles along the bottom of the pool. When I stood, everything from my chest up remained above the surface. I refused to release the wall anyway.

Anti-Bryndin paddled in circles nearby while we adjusted to the change in temperature. This time he used his arms and kept his wings folded back so he wouldn't slap me in the face. I resisted the urge to dunk his head under the lava, just to see what he'd look like when he popped up again, crackling blue curls bouncing around his face. That would be funny, I think.

"Head Pixie? Are you ready?"

"Yeah… sure."

Humming absentmindedly, Anti-Bryndin took my shoulders and pushed me up against the wall of stones that ringed the pool. My wings flickered uncertainly, but I gave in. He noticed. His amber eyes flicked up.

"Is this okay?"

"It's fine. I'm just taking my time to adjust to your preening style, that's all. Shall we begin?"

Anti-Bryndin tipped his head in the other direction. "I trust you are familiar with the process."

"Yep. I don't perform the submissive ritual as often as the dominant one, but I've memorized the patterns and I understand the concept."

"Ah. Good, then." He opened his wide wings in a clear signal for me to slide closer. I did, with some caution, and Anti-Bryndin enveloped me. His wings dragged like thin cloth across my skin. They hooked together snuggly behind my back, which forced me into a tight clutch of fur and fangs. My own wings jumped. Sure, I'd made business deals with Anti-Fairies a few times before, but their customs of close contact were still foreign to me. I maintained my calm nonetheless, as a pixie should. That's important.

Anti-Bryndin paused. He set his hands against my upper arms, and stared me directly in the eye. "Head Pixie? Is this okay?"

"Actually, you could stop pushing your claws into my shoulders," I said, trying to figure out what to do with my arms.

He glanced down as though noticing where he was touching me for the first time. He lifted the claws, but left his palms where they were. Instead, he frowned at the base of my neck. "What is this?"

"What?" When he pulled back his finger, I spotted a golden sparkle on his knuckle. "Oh. I was adjacent to glitter for a second yesterday. Guess it didn't come off in the shower. Take my advice: Glitter and sweat are a bad combination."

"Hm." Anti-Bryndin examined the speck for a moment, then flicked it away. His hand went to my collarbone again, and he moved his chin down, blocking my access to his throat before we could even begin. I paused as he said, "You do trust me, Head Pixie?"

"Significantly."

"And your name is Fergus Whimsifinado. Is this so?"

I set my hands on his arms too. "That's right, Kitigan."

When he winced, he squeezed his eyelids shut. "It does not seem fair the way you've dug that information out."

"What can I say? I like basking in the fruits of my research."

"Hmm…" Anti-Bryndin studied me again, his grip light but insistent. "In the tea room, you shared things which tell me who the Head Pixie is. But who is Fergus beneath this?"

My fingers tightened in his shoulders. "No one important."

"All are important," he assured me, his eyes gentle. I grimaced.

"I'd rather forget the life I had before I became Head Pixie. My duties are to populate my species, rear the young, and make us into a people the cloudlands won't soon forget. That's all."

"But you have free time."

"I really don't."

Anti-Bryndin continued smiling, oblivious to all my efforts to wipe that creepy look off his face. "This is not true, I think. There must be something you enjoy."

"… I like saucerbee. My father's mother once played for my favorite team, the Dragonflies. I tried out for the team every year in upper school, but I never made it on. Whatever. I'd never want to take the time to train for it, but smoof if it doesn't look stimulating."

"Ah, we play saucerbee on our side of the Barrier too. But…" Anti-Bryndin chuckled sadly, leaning back his head. "My mamá did not permit me to join. I am a respected gentledrake, and soft." He locked eyes with me again, only to drop them with a grimace. "I used to play in joust tournaments at the zodiac fests… but I was beaten very much. My mamá forbid me from more, for I was the prince, and a prince was not to lose. I made the champion who beat me my concubine instead, and when I was old enough to be High Count, I made her my third wife."

"Yeah, I've heard Anti-Florensa's one of the best warriors there's ever been. Used to sit on your camarilla, even, until she got in the fight that burned her face or something."

"Nearly lost Julius, who is the son she carried at the time," he said absently. "She did lose her arm, but it got better. Pregnancy was hard for her, so it is fortunate her counterpart had no more children. But, do not wiggle away from me! We came to talk about you!"

"Eh… Geez." I pressed my thumbs against his collarbone, staring at the swirls of gold across his skin. It was his scales themselves that were patterned in the golden swirls, the color visible beneath the thin hairs that sprouted from the cracks. "I dunno. I like crowds, and music. I like dancing."

"Hm. I like to sit away from the crowd myself, but perhaps I can invite you to Anti-Fairy World for our celebrations when the New Year comes."

"The offer is appreciated, but I probably can't afford the time. I'm a busy guy, you know… And one of the other members on the Council might want to invite me. It's only fair I spend Spring Turn with them since I spent Winter Turn with you."

"The turn of the cycle," he decided. "The event is so big in Anti-Fairy World and it only happens every seven years, so you must come. I hope you will come."

… That was a tough offer to refuse. In Fairy World, the zodiac cycle changed from the year of Leaves to the year of Love with little fanfare. But in Anti-Fairy World, the year of Love was considered a brand new beginning. Their parties were absolutely legendary. Between the prices they charged at the border that time of year and the general uncouth wildness of the place, Ambrosine had never let me go. Once I'd moved Earthside, I'd never cared enough to try. And when I had nymphs to look after, it was out of the question. But if I could get someone to watch them, or if my pixies could mess around where the Anti-Fairy pups did…

I watched his hands the whole time. He'd left his scarf up in his bathing room. If Anti-Cosmo had told me the truth yesterday and the yellow button on it really did influence the mind, Anti-Bryndin gave no sign. No impulsive twitch of his fingers to rub it, no shifting of his shoulder, no anything of the kind.

"I'll think about it," I said. "Well, that about wraps it up for me… I like relaxing, collecting Celebrity Families cards, and-"

Anti-Bryndin's ears snapped to the alert position. "You like Celebrity Families cards?"

My core began to thump. "Wait, do you?"

"I collect many! I am a celebrity family, of course."

"Me too. I was just looking at yours the other day."

Anti-Bryndin laughed. "And I looked at yours! The one where you are Fergus."

"Heh," I said, my smile straining. "I don't suppose you have… nah, forget it."

"Try me, Head Pixie."

Running my thumb across his shoulder, I said, "Do you have Ilisa Maddington's card? They only ever printed ten of them, and we know five were destroyed during the war."

"Ah, do you mean…" Anti-Bryndin waved his hand. In a cloud of smoke, the foil card materialized between his fingers. "This is your card?"

Oh, geez. There she was, wearing her frilly yellow dress, her ginger hair swishing behind her in the most enormous pegasustail to grace the cloudlands. Her black and orange wings fanned out behind her. My hands went for it automatically, but I stopped and pulled them back. "I have never in my life seen one of those in person. I've never even met someone who's seen one. And you have the original? Where did you get that? Only holotypes get their holographic cards."

Anti-Bryndin chuckled. "It cost dearly… I shared my colored eyes with an enemy I did not like for this, and I became his, mm… partner to do as he bid at roost for many years, as we decided was perfect tradition for Ilisa's most special card. But, I was successful. Now it is mine, and belongs to no one else."

"Can I touch it?"

He held the card above his head. "No, this one is very valued… But maybe if you like it very much, and if you trade me all variations of the cards of Venus Eros, Rowan Sparklefield, Candela Fernfire, and Adelinda von Strangle, I might give it to you for a present when the cycle changes this New Year."

"Oof… Yeah, I can't do that."

"No? Hmm…" Anti-Bryndin studied Ilisa's card, rubbing his fingers all over it. Then he chuckled. With exaggerated lack of care, he stretched his arms above his head and feigned fumbling it so it would fall into the lava. "Well, Ilisa is famous for the love she gave in bed… If you do not wish to trade, then I think your only other option that is fair is to honor her memory in that way, to the best our different species can together. This is too much, I think?"

I eyed the card in silence. Anti-Bryndin laughed again.

"Oh, you do like this one!" He vanished the card into thin air again, and smiled in that absentminded way of his that ripped my soul apart. "Well, for now, I will keep this safe for you. Come to me when you wish to trade, and I will do it happily."

I shook my head. "Vicious. You're a businessman after my own core, Anti-Bryndin."

"No, I am nice."

"I guess I was bound to meet a nice person eventually. The odds were in my favor." I rested my hands against my stomach and slid almost my entire body under the lava. I closed my eyes. "Ah… A pixie could get used to this."

Anti-Bryndin studied me a moment. Then his wings loosened from behind me. "We should begin our preen. If I rub your shoulders, is this okay? That is the best way to excite your pheromones, yes?"

I hesitated, cracking open just one eye. "Er…"

I am a person of very few weaknesses. I can't swim without help, I'm allergic to honey, I find heights not great, and let's be real: massages are the most relaxing thing in the entire smoofing universe. One of my drones long before Sanderson's birth had introduced me to them, and China had perfected the art. Not that Anti-Bryndin had offered to give me a full on massage, and surely he wouldn't while floating in the lava, but…

"Head Pixie?" Anti-Bryndin's soft hands settled on my arm again. "Is this okay?"

"… I suppose my muscles are a bit sore."

"Ah, yes, I can help that! But you must turn over like apples." I did, with hesitation, and faced the edge of the pool, placing my folded arms on the solid edge. As much as I hated turning my back to Anti-Bryndin, it made sense. Massaging the shoulders did tend to be difficult from the front. Still, I'd never even lightly preened with an Anti-Fairy before, let alone deep preened with one, and I wasn't sure how well our custom translated across the border. I leaned my cheek against my hand and tried to crack a joke to ease the tension.

"You know, along with snuggling, the stereotype is that Anti-Fairies are ridiculously good at this kind of thing."

"I am High Count," Anti-Bryndin said simply, placing a few of his fingers on the back of my neck. He slid them down to my shoulders, and did that several times. "I am not good at this. I am very good at this."

"Oh?"

"Oh, yes. You will see and it will please you very, very much."

He began kneading his thumbs into the back of my neck, relying on his knuckles in certain places here and there. Firm, but gentle. A moment passed in silence before he said, "I am sensing that you are very stressed. Your noises in the energy field are concerning, and I am thinking you will need more than massage to relax. We can talk again, if you like."

"'Stressed' is right." I rubbed my forehead. "I've just been going through some gnawing personal issues right now, being a gyne and all."

"Ah, and you can talk about them while we do this."

At first I was silent, leaning into him as he did his work. "It's my drones," I finally said. "I think about them all the time. Even when I try to relax, they crawl back into my head. Keeping them alive isn't always easy, and their existence cuts majorly into the free time I'm still used to from 4,000 years ago. Once, I was able to attend parties whenever I pleased. But I have young drones now, and I can't leave them alone unsupervised until Longwood is old enough to properly herd them away from the edge of the clouds. I'd love to get a pheromone fence, but those things are so blitzing expensive, and I also have to buy food, pay taxes…"

Anti-Bryndin paused his thumbs. I could pick up the beginning of my own scent wafting in the air now, bananas underlain with ink and cinnamon. "But I imagined your pixies can fly?"

"Pixies aren't a true flying species. We're hover-gliders. I blame Sanders."

"Ah. I did not know this." He returned to business, gliding his fingers along my neck. Then they dropped to my shoulder blades. I twitched beneath him.

"Anyway, I can't leave my drones for long. They miss me. Thing is, they have to check in every few hours with the nearest figure who exudes dominance or they go rogue. And the last thing the world needs is another Luis Magni- Hooooooly…" I put back my head, and had to deliberately restrain myself from allowing my tongue to loll. My wings trembled at their tips. I grabbed my cowlicks in my fist. "Sweet dust, that's good. Whatever you're doing, don't stop."

Anti-Bryndin chuckled, digging the heel of his hand into a point on my skin I hadn't realized was so sensitive. The traces of my scent in the air grew even stronger. He kneaded harder while I tried not to melt against the edge of the pool more than I had to. "We do not warn our pups away from fearful places with pheromones, but we do a close thing. We use heavy rings to hold down their ears and stop them from echolocation. It keeps their hearts and wings from wandering."

I nodded. Barely. Prickling, bubbly tingles floated across my skin. "I've heard of your canetis rite of passage… Mmm… Okay, that's nice. Really." My shoulders eased. I closed my eyes. My wings drooped together. "The stress has been gnawing at me. It's nice to get away from it all. Like this. I enjoy this."

"I wonder if I could try helping you." Anti-Bryndin slid his fingers forward, claws tracing beneath my collarbone. He pressed deep, but rubbed softly. "Do you have a tram system?"

"Just got it installed."

Anti-Bryndin rubbed the spot a moment more, evidently lost in thought. "Hm. You realize ambassadors have permission to allow special high Anti-Fairies across the border to Fairy World. They have to give vouch for it. If you gave your vouch to me, I could come and watch your pixies sometimes when you are under stress."

At this, I opened one eye. "I thought you had enough to do with your High Count job."

"The job is easy," he insisted, waving away this minor inconvenience. His hands progressed to my upper arms, where he starting massaging circles again. "Anti-Elina can do my Castle duties for me. She can approve servants to work, she can talk to each person, and she already organizes the hunting groups and the teams when we have Friday the 13th. My year only gets busy at Friday of 13 and when I plan with her for migration season. But other than that…" Briefly, he stopped rubbing my skin and walked his fingers up my spine. "I can be yours, for your pixies, if you want me to be."

The hand disappeared, and returned to its work on my back. I turned my head. "Yeah, I can't ask you to cross the border every time I need babysitting. I'm sure someone else would be willing to."

"How many pixies are yours, again?" Anti-Bryndin sounded amused.

I sighed. "Nine."

"Hmm… And eight drones you don't want stolen away by a gyne who might come to conquest territory?" His hands slid closer to my elbows, still making circles. "Do not forget I am a creche father and leader of my colony. I can manage many small ones. Maybe you need the services of an Anti-Fairy to teach and help you."

I considered his request as he kept kneading my arms. "Maybe I do."

Anti-Bryndin pulled back his head. His fingers tightened slightly in my skin, claws pricking, and he beamed. "Perhaps we can make a deal work, then? Sometimes you can let me come to your village. I can also give you the permission to bring your pixies to the Castle for watching."

Long way, but… I envisioned the Castle's protective walls, the freedom of leaving my pixies to enrich themselves while I slipped off in search of a rave or two… I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth to hold back a moan, lest Anti-Bryndin think I was enjoying the lava pool and his services a little too much. "I admit that would be helpful."

"Then I am glad I asked this. I think it would be of help to me as well." Humming, he returned to the back parts of my shoulders, carefully avoiding the dorsal trachea just above my wings. "I would like to see the Fairy World sights. Travel. Eat of the Fairy foods. I have heard that corn is very good, but to import it is expensive and I do not try much."

"I don't eat it for the taste," I admitted, wondering what the cob would look like if he went at it with his spread-apart fangs. I leaned back my head, toes fanning out. "Mm… I am in need of a friend who could watch my pixies, but it can't be very often. I can't afford you. Hawkins and I are still putting together a regular budget. There are mortgages to manage, the garbage situation still needs to be looked into, which unfortunately means a clash with the Fairywinkles is inevitable-"

"I am not one who needs monetary payment from you," Anti-Bryndin injected.

I narrowed my eyes, turning my head. "What?"

Anti-Bryndin continued working my shoulders with calm hands, bringing large circles to small ones and sliding them closer to the point on my neck that best produced pheromones. By this point, the air was pretty much burning up with them. "You are my friend now. I am also rich and not a needer of your money in return for watching young pixies on occasion."

"So what's the catch?" I asked, not moving, not blinking.

He smiled. "You are mean and perceptive, Head Pixie. This: I find you and your pixies an interesting people. I know your populace will grow fast, and I am curious to see if you will like my people. You have expressed favor for Anti-Fairy rights. I am an Anti-Fairy. I wish to befriend you, nicely, and help you. You can maybe help my people later. These are my thoughts."

Rather than curl my fingers, or let my disgust play across my face, I continued to regard him without expression as the seconds ticked by. His knuckles pressed just above my wings. "High Count, I'm not going to sell myself out to do political favors in return for you simply watching over my young pixies for awhile."

"No, you understand it wrong!" Anti-Bryndin's hands slipped around my chest, and he clasped them without ever losing his smile. "I like you as my friend, Head Pixie. I anticipate us becoming where we can be very good friends. Your support is nice, but it is not the expectation. That would be mean, to force you. No, no. I allow you freedoms, not traps. This is not a trade. This is the way of gift giving." His hands gave my front two pats. "I only offer you my humble friendship. We share a common thing, the liking for Anti-Fairies. You can do what you do for Anti-Fairies, and I will do mine. I think we can be good friends with that. Good friendship is very important to me, which is what I always tell the folk who question where the kisses are when it comes to the loving relation of me and my courgette."

I paused. "Your courgette? Isn't courgette… the Anti-Fairy word for 'zucchini'?"

He stared at me for a second, then reeled back, grabbing one of his horns. "Oh, how silly! My High Countess. I meant my High Countess. To some people, I call her my courgette, because she and I are married but do not kiss, so I apologize for confusing you. So sorry, so sorry. My habits are very silly to Fairies, I think."

"Whoa, wait." I sat up, clutching the edge of the rock wall. "Say that again."

"I don't kiss my wife?"

"But you're married. You have to kiss your wife."

A tired smile played across Anti-Bryndin's face. He lifted his wings in a shrug and pulled his hands from my shoulders. "No, no. Anti-Elina and I are in a special relationship. It is without kisses or intimate touching. Everyone thinks so, but they don't know this. Sometimes people think us silly, but they are fools who do not understand how I love to have courgetteship."

"Like… a Refract." My fingertips moved to cover my mouth before I could stop them. "Refracts befriend each other, but don't mate unless they absolutely have to. Are you saying there are Fairies and Anti-Fairies who actually live like that too?"

"Oh? Why should there not be?" Propping his elbow against the edge of the pool, he plucked up an apple from the nearby serving tray and studied me with an amused, half-lidded gaze. "It's how Anti-Elina and I like it." I was silent, and he bit into the fruit without taking his eyes from me. His fangs crunched through red skin and came away dripping. "Yes, I sometimes have kissing urges that I like to explore, but this is why I have other wives. I pair with Anti-Florensa when I am interested in those things. Anti-Elina is the one I live with who I do not touch, because this is what we agreed to do. We did not want both of us to be busy at the same time if there is a problem to care for. So we are courgettes and this is how we live."

"You're married… you live together… you care for each other… but you don't mate. It's like how in ancient times, our ancestors used to live beneath the same roof a their own counterparts, caring for them like family and living apart from their own mates, because Fae society once valued friendship as equally or more…" I shook my head. "Where can I get one of those?"

Anti-Bryndin looked at me surprise. He set his apple on his teacup with a click, saucer rattling. "Would you like me to tell you more of what courgetteship is?"

"Please do," I said, folding my arms.

Anti-Bryndin shifted too, folding his wings carefully behind him. Still leaning his arm on the side of the pool, he lifted three fingers on his other hand. "These are aspects of my relationship with Anti-Elina. We have trust. We know each other well, and are a team. We work together, we vote together, and we listen to each other. We pay attention to each other. We share secrets for surprises."

I nodded.

"Anti-Elina and I have kindness. We always help each other when we can. I do not make her do what she does not want to. When I am busy, she takes care of some work. She is good."

"Do tell."

"And, we have good communication and creativity. It is how we love." Anti-Bryndin smiled. "Those are what marriage is for me and my courgette. But, there is none of the activity that would make a pup if we were Fairies. I have other wives, and she has her honey-lock partner. Sometimes, I hold hands with Anti-Elina, but that is when we are away from the Castle. We Anti-Fairies use our ears to see. Holding hands can help us to not get lost. There is only some kissing between us, and only when we both want it, which is not a lot. Kissing is for ceremonies sometimes, to prove to our people that High Count and High Countess are caring and committed. That is the way of Anti-Fairies."

I closed my eyes. "High Count, I must admit that I am jealous. Can I use the 'L' word?"

"You can say it, yes."

"Then Anti-Elina sounds like a lucky damsel. You're a lucky drake to have found someone who just…" I clenched my fists. "Respects your choices. If my ex-wife had been more like that, I think we would have gotten along better. And then I wouldn't be so tempted to keep having passing flings at parties, playing around and enjoying people when they're new and interesting before things get lastingly intimate and… weird."

Anti-Bryndin tipped his head, pursing his lips. I opened my eyes again to find him studying me with a curious light in his eyes. He said, "Who is your current partner, Head Pixie? At the coronation, you had only your marquess coronated with you."

"No. No partner. The Head Pixie rules alone. Not everyone is fortunate enough to find a damsel who respects their wants like that and enjoys it too." I raised my head. "Seriously, how did you do it? I hope you never let her walk out of your life. But if you do, try to send her my way."

Anti-Bryndin maintained eye contact as he bit his apple again. He took it in one hand, his teacup with another, holding both at chest level as steam wafted in front of his nose. "As I understand it, you were alone in the Eros Nest. You were kept apart for study. The cherubs were cruel in how they did not give you a partner to choose, or a friend after your own age."

I shrugged. "I had my anti-self for company."

He tilted his head to one side and chuckled deep in the back of his throat, with his eyes closed. After biting into his apple again, he said, "Ah, but you are one with old Fairy traditions! Unlike the Zodii, you believe your counterpart is your relative, and should never be your kissing partner. I know this man, and perhaps he is not the best with friendship. He likes so much to kiss. Did the cherubs not give to you one? A mate who could have been your friend? Did they give no friends at all?"

"Um… no. Not really. Except, sometimes I was able to see my refract. I always got along with her better than my anti-self. She…" I paused. "My refract, she always claimed to have Rhoswen syndrome. But she never acted on it around me. She would say she has Rhoswen friendship syndrome, and explain that it was like the friendly relationship between Jay Rhoswen and Falak Sunbeam long ago- the research partners. Not the famous Rhoswen syndrome relationship between Jay and Anti-Shylinda. She wrote me letters. We've exchanged gifts."

Anti-Bryndin sipped the tea, then returned it to its saucer once again. But he didn't let go of the cup. Instead, he knit his fingers around it, and continued to look sideways at me. "For a long time, you have been alone from friends. In the world, and in your soul and mind. Is that the truth?"

"That about sums it up."

"Then I have this question for you. Please consider." Anti-Bryndin released the cup and folded his arms, holding his elbows. "Should I show you long term what it means to have and be a courgette? I can teach you for a time what it is like, with letting you stop if you want to stop. I know the ways, so I can be a good partner for you, who will not betray or force you in any way that makes you worry."

I suppose that, admittedly, I did at that moment feel a thrum down my wings. I withdrew my hand from the block, but slowly. "High Count? Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"Hmm…" With a lazy smile, Anti-Bryndin rested his cheek against his fist. He sipped his tea again. "And what does the Head Pixie think I am suggesting today?"

"Well, it sounds to me like you're asking permission to 'court' me."

"Not courting," he assured me despite the invisible quote marks around the word. "This would be a thing of romance, and you do not like the romantic. I understand it, for with many people, I am the same. Perhaps the High Count and the Head Pixie can be friends who are very close and caring to each other. We can even call ourselves courgettes if you wish it." His hand moved to his chest in a modest way. "You can be welcome to visit the Blue Castle whenever, and I will greet and be glad to see you. Sometimes, you can bring your pixies, and I will watch over them as the pups in my creche. We can eat together at the Council meetings. You can scry me when you need talking. Hmm." He trailed his eyes over my face. "What else might be good to help your needs?"

My wings twitched, swishing through the lava behind me. "I… I… Blitz. High Count, I'm speechless. Wait a second." I lifted my pointer fingers. "Okay. Let me look at this objectively. You're offering to skip the awkward, distant, small-talk relationship phase and dive right into giving me all the attention I want? At Council meetings and stuff, and maybe other times we're able to meet up? You're offering to babysit my pixies those days when I'm at the end of my rope? Obviously, with as much notice as I can give you so you aren't taken advantage of. You've seen hundreds of pups be born and raised in the Castle. You must know a lot about raising them that you could teach me. I could learn a lot from you, I'm sure."

"Me too," he said softly, gazing up at my face. "From you."

I folded my hands against my mouth. "And… all you want in return is to play to my comfort level as makes me happy? Really? You don't want to seduce me, kiss me, hug, or act physically affectionate in any way? We can seriously be friends, and you won't try to escalate it?"

Anti-Bryndin cocked his head. "No, no scaling. The closest thing to scaling that would happen is, I do like close holds on the couch in the cold. I am an Anti-Fairy. We Anti-Fairies do roost together to get warm because alone, we are cold. I roost often with Anti-Elina, but you are a pixie, a Seelie, and cannot roost. Perhaps if you would like to, we can talk about blankets and closeness on the couch in the cold? We can be careful, if these are things you do not like much."

"Hmm. We can probably make that work." Briefly, I picked at the skin on the back of my wrist, trying not to think too much about how China and I had experienced very few cuddles on the couch- most of them when it was Krisday and we watched my pixies unwrap their gifts. Getting touchy-feely wasn't really my thing.

I especially tried not to think about Kalysta. Technically, she hadn't owned a couch. She had her fluffy cushion bed, so low to the ground and feathery and white. I'd spent so many nights trapped beside her, half buried alive in bark strips and notes and trying to resist the urge to bang my head against the wall as she rambled on about the phrasing of particular words in her novels here and there. I was more of a cut-to-the-chase person myself, but Kalysta was a damsel of flowers and purple prose. Every time I'd made a suggestion to her work, she'd turn a single line into pages. In a way, sitting in bed beside her counted as cuddling on the couch. Her burrow had always been so pleasantly warm, though… The one benefit about it.

"Head Pixie?" A note of concern crept beneath Anti-Bryndin's voice. He stretched his hand out to touch my knuckles. "Is this okay?"

"It's… it's…" I pressed my fingers to my temples. "I just don't know how to respond to this, um, friendship offer. Won't Anti-Elina mind if you start coming to Pixie World frequently, and I take you around to eat and see the sights? I don't want her to think there's something more than friendship going on between us. People tend to think that about me and my friends."

He smiled. "No, Anti-Elina will not be hurt with this. She is understanding of me. She will know that I am being trusting and kind to you as with her, but she will not hold jealousy. She is very gentle. And, well… I am sorry, but she is my first, and I see her every day and always. But Head Pixie, you are interesting. I want to know more of you and your thoughts. And if you are uncomfortable not knowing Anti-Elina's thoughts, I will be sure you get time to talk with her before you leave today. She can tell you I speak the truth."

I bent my head again, swiping my thumb below my eyes. "Oh. Wow. So you're really asking this. This is actually happening. You, the High Count, are asking if we can be close friends? Or courgettes or whatever? So it's like a super friendship. I get attention. I get commitment. I get someone who's willing to listen to, understand, and help me. I get to be somebody's priority. All of the benefits. None of the awkward romantic or sexual aspects. There's literally no downside to this." I looked up. "You're serious? Really? You're totally blitzing serious?"

Anti-Bryndin twitched his ears. "Maybe we can talk also about you not using some of your strong words when I am near, or in my Castle? There are many pups here, and many adults who are grown in a world where we do not favor that language much."

"Oh. Right. I'll try to be better at holding my tongue. I've been meaning to get in the habit anyway."

"Thank you." He paused, eyes shining as he gazed at me, shoulders slightly lifted. He clasped his hands at his chest. "My courgette."

No one had called me 'My anything' for… China had usually called me 'coat-bearer,' never 'husband.' I guess before that, I was one of Kalysta's drakes. Maybe I'd been called a favored gyne, a roommate, or a friend once, but that was long ago. Even then, I was always that- 'friend' without the word 'best' in front of it. I'd never been anyone's priority before. I'd never been someone who still existed in the mind of someone else when I wasn't around. I pushed up my glasses and rubbed my eye. "Just like that, then? Wow. I still don't know what to say. This is all so sudden. I mean, I only just met you, but… Dear dust. High Count- Anti-Bryndin- I need this right now. I need a friend who is willing to look out for me. It's absolutely bizarre to think that you noticed me, and you're trying hard to be sensitive to my needs. I appreciate that."

Anti-Bryndin smiled, sliding his hand forward to rest against my forearm. "You feel special now? To be a courgette?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Me too. You are very interesting, and I think we can both learn many things." Anti-Bryndin paused. Then he leaned away, hand cupping his mouth. "Oh no. I have made you cry now?"

"Only technically." I wiped my arm across my face. "Pixie tear ducts are triggered by external forces, not internal ones. We aren't much for emotion ourselves. Instead, we're overly sensitive to those around us. When the people around us have extreme emotions, we react to that."

Anti-Bryndin blinked. "Oh. Is this certain?"

"Very certain. Let's not talk about it. Did we want to try sharing magic again?"

"Yes, if you wish it. I feel honoured by the thought." His hands slid down my chest, palms flat, claws slightly lifted so they wouldn't scratch. In his territory, I was the subordinate one, so I initiated the first lick: the bouncing zigzag of the S5 signal. Anti-Bryndin waited for me to complete two signals before he dabbed the tip of his tongue atop my forehead, then dragged it in a D3 swirl. His saliva tingled against my skin, burning faintly. Interesting. Anti-Fairies were famous for their struggles to interpret preening signals, but Anti-Bryndin made his movements smoothly and with grace. I painted a curl above his collarbone, then transitioned to the bramble mark.

We progressed from there, floating quietly in the lava pool and licking one another's faces. It took a bit longer to fall into the flow of things this time, but when my vision began to flicker and Anti-Bryndin bumped our foreheads together, I let him meld our minds.

Anti-Bryndin materialized pink and featureless again, as he had before. I was purple, and both of us were on our feet this time, hands resting against each other. Both our mental pocket dimensions had manifested to either side of us like rooms across a hall. We hadn't discussed in advance which one we were going to spend our soul-time in. The two of us hovered at an indecisive middle ground for the spirit equivalent of a few seconds before Anti-Bryndin gently tugged me to his side of the mindspace. Reluctantly, I released my hold on mine and followed him.

Anti-Bryndin's core chamber was… impressive, to say the least. As soon as I stepped across the threshold, my mouth was assaulted with Anti-Bryndin scents, as though I'd dived headfirst into a mountain of laundry of everything he'd worn for a century and every emotion his faint pheromones had bled onto the cloth. A shiver went down my wings. I paused, testing the air.

"Is this okay?" Anti-Bryndin asked, holding one hand to the back of his neck. I lifted a glowing finger.

"Just give me a sec. Hmm…" I traced my tongue across my lips. "Yellow delight. Pink affection. Lots of pink affection. Some blue concern, some green stress. Understandable. Faint. But no anger or jealousy… None at all. I like that in a magic-sharing partner."

He almost squealed again like he had in the garden, but caught himself just in time. His hands came together briefly before his chest, then both swept sideways through the door. "This is my place. Come in."

We entered a world of stone walls, wooden floors, and an enormous window that took up the slanted wall that faced the couch, as though we were inside some rich Fairy's attic. Really, really rich Fairy's attic. Wooden beams criss-crossed the high ceiling. Anti-Bryndin just seemed to have a thing for dark wood in general. The couch was black, shaped in a right angle with plenty of room. It even had a wool blanket thrown over the arm. It also had a snow leopard on it, reclining in watchful silence, which is probably worth mentioning. As I watched, it slid off and padded up to Anti-Bryndin, butting its head against his cheek in search of pats. Anti-Bryndin reached up and dug his claws into the fur of its neck, scratching the big cat up and down and talking to it in a babying voice.

My elegant box of engraved cutlery sat on a low table nearby. "Oh, nice," I said, halting when I saw it. I flicked my attention around the room, calculating weights and widths. Black rug. Forest of silver milbark trees out the slanted window, weeping over a thin ribbon of a river. Purple-red sky. "Huh. I need to redecorate my library… Over there in the corner, is that monster ball of yarn your core?" It took up the corner space where I might have expected a potted tree.

Anti-Bryndin chuckled and embraced the snow leopard's neck in a hug. "Perhaps yes. You have your core of lasers, for you are a fast one who defends the small. Me, I am a drake of intricacies and puzzles, as tight as this yarn. Perhaps I project intimidation, but I am easy to unravel if you know me close."

"I approve. Seriously. You've done a great job with this place. I'm not much of an interior designer myself."

"It takes practice," Anti-Bryndin said kindly. If his soul form had had a tail, he'd probably have wagged it. His snow leopard had flopped over for belly rubs, and he gave them now with great enthusiasm. "Mindspaces, I am told, are easier places for Anti-Fairies to visit than Fairies, for we meld with ease and Fairies lack this easy talent."

I raised one eyebrow. "You might be surprised. As a middle-aged gyne, I've tasted mindspace pocket dimensions more than a few times. In fact, I think our two cultures just have two different names for the same division of magic. Makes sense, I guess, since we're each just a third split off a shared soul."

"Come see this nice sitting sofa I crafted of thoughts," Anti-Bryndin said, deflecting the clashing belief system argument before it could begin. Confrontation wasn't really his thing, I supposed, which was probably why he worshipped the Zodii deity of good communication skills.

"Nice place."

"Thank you. Ah, and here is this. I meant to poof it to you, but sadly, I could not send it through the Barrier." Anti-Bryndin lifted my cutlery box from the coffee table and brought it over to me. "Here. Take this back to your space before we start."

I accepted the box, but warily. "Once I put it in there, I doubt I'll be able to get it out again. Manipulating this realm doesn't come so easily to me- I mastered essential sensories in school, not pocketspace. You can just give it to me when we end the mind meld."

"Yes, I can do that." Anti-Bryndin replaced the box where he'd found it. He glanced at me once, then away again. His claws tapped together. "What else do you want to look at?"

Scooting away from the leopard, I said, "Anti-Bryndin, your core chamber is your personal space. I'm not going to go nosing around in it. You don't have to be so self-conscious."

"But…" He turned a full circle as though seeing the place for the first time. "I made this place. I want to impress you with my skills so you have a nice time here. Here, come sit with me on the couch. You can pet my leopard."

"I'd rather not," I said, holding still. "I'm not a feline person." I wasn't superstitious about the zodiac or anything like that… I just didn't think cooing over their sacred animals was a good habit to get into. Also, I did not like the waves of pheromones the gigantic animal was giving off, playful and innocent it may appear.

"Come," Anti-Bryndin coaxed. The snow leopard circled behind me, pressing its body against my shoulders. Its fat tongue came up to lick my cheek. Rough, peeling imaginary skin. I backed towards Anti-Bryndin, holding my hands near my chest. The leopard prowled after me, eyes glinting with golden fire. Threads of whispered words swirled around me, like recitations from a dream. I continued backing up until I was pinned between the couch and the coffee table. Anti-Bryndin stood behind me, unwittingly blocking me from going any further. And the leopard kept approaching.

"You know what? Change of core. I guess I can snuggle for a little while." I sat down at the end of the couch. Anti-Bryndin took the space beside me. The leopard jumped up on his other side, and flopped across our legs. It wasn't heavy or hot, so that was something. Its furry head landed in my lap. I did not like it.

So, we all settled on the couch together, gazing at the world beyond the window. I put my feet on the table, Anti-Bryndin leaned his head against my shoulder, the leopard took up lots of space, and that's just how it was. With hesitation, watching the leopard, I eased my arm beneath Anti-Bryndin's wings and traced a few more subordinate licks along his wax-smooth neck. He gave me a few more dominant ones, soft and casual. One benefit of sharing magic was, without his physical body, his acidic saliva wouldn't burn my face. Always a plus.

After a few minutes, the High Count began etching random designs across my chest. We'd gradually started to solidify, our core colors fading bit by bit until we began to look like our bodies, still resting together in the lava pool, foreheads touching, suspended in a trance but aware of their surroundings just enough to stay safe.

"Anti-Bryndin?"

He glanced up, drawing another square spiral with his reforming claw. "Hm?"

Cautiously, I placed a hand between the snow leopard's ears. "This works well for me and my comfort level. I wasn't sure about it at first, but… I'm enjoying being here with you, sensing your aura signals and everything like this. It's been a long time since I've been in sync enough with someone to bond this way."

"I enjoy it too, Fergus, my courgette."

"Call me H.P. The Fergus name is dead." Between a few licks along his throat, I added, "Fergus is what people call me when they're sucking up. My closest friends call me H.P."

"I can do that for you, H.P."

When we'd satisfied ourselves with our heightened senses in the mindspace, Anti-Bryndin brought the mind meld to an end. When we blinked ourselves 'awake,' we found ourselves perched atop the boulders that ringed the bottom lava pool, arms and wings wrapped around each other. "Snuggles here?" Anti-Bryndin asked in bewilderment. He felt the rock beneath him with his hand, wincing as it traced over sharp edges and grit.

"Granted, we did get pretty into it towards the end. Honestly I'd be shocked if we were still sitting where we started." I folded my arms behind my head and stretched my back. "Woo… You were right about lava being a muscle relaxant. I haven't felt this calm for maybe twenty thousand years. No wonder transitioning to the sharing magic stage came easier to me this morning than usual. Look at me- I've turned into a smoofing noodle."

"Ah, you smiiile," Anti-Bryndin teased, leaning forward on his hands.

"Heh… What? No." I touched my cheek, which seemed to warm beneath my fingertips. "Fine. A little. Don't tell anyone."

He placed his claw to his lips. "Your secrets are mine alone."

We left the lava chamber, together and in high spirits. Anti-Bryndin and I walked around the gardens, where China was still working with young artists and busily ignoring me. Jasmine the cat sith began tailing us from what she thought was far enough behind.

By the front gate, I turned to Anti-Bryndin once last time. "Thanks… Maybe we can do that again sometime. Preferably sooner rather than later."

"Yes, and this is your box." One dark puff of smoke later, my cutlery set appeared at my feet. "And don't leave yet! I have another gift for you." He concentrated for another moment, then poofed a small white crystal into the palm of his hand. A golden chain dangled from either side.

"It's an Eros heart symbol," I observed.

"Sorry! I know you do not like romance, but this is the only design to be made. Someday there will be more." Anti-Bryndin tugged on the chains, and the two halves of the heart split apart. He handed one to me. "Here. They are miniature crystal balls. Yours matches mine."

So it did. I inspected it, dribbling the chain between my fingers. While the crystal was the smallest scrying device I'd ever seen, it didn't appear damaged in any way. It seemed functional enough. "Interesting. Long-distance communication on a small ball in the palm of your hand."

Anti-Bryndin wrapped my fingers around my half of the crystal as I moved to put it on. "You take it home, and put it where you like. Perhaps around your neck, or on your office desk. We can leave messages now, and talk often." He paused. "Maybe do not leave it where you dress. Some people want to do that without asking, and this is why we do not make the technology public yet."

"I'll work up promotion ideas," I said, tightening the clasp behind my neck. "You know, there could really be a market for these things if you play your cards right. We should talk."

He pointed at the tiny crystal. "Scry any time, especially with questions about small pixies or when you are mad. It only connects me to you. No other person. If it glows, I will know you are there. If I can talk, I will answer. If the time is bad, I will leave it until I can get back. I will try to answer a lot, but sometimes there are meetings and things."

"I understand." I touched the crystal with my fingertips. "This… this means a lot to me. I hope you realize that. I've never had a close friend give me a gift before, especially one that will let us keep in touch easily. I really appreciate it. Next time we hang out, you should eat at my place."

He lit up, clasping his hands beside his cheek. "Oh, that sounds like a very good time! I will wait with great excitement for this to happen. Scry me someday soon when you have your calendar and your plans, and we can find the best time for us both."

"You've got it. Thanks, Anti-Bryndin. I'm…" I smiled. "… very happy."

I took my time flying home, holding my cheek in one hand and my cutlery set in the other.

Emery and I crossed paths at the Faeheim tram station, just as I'd calculated we would. She hovered beside Dr. Ranen (Well, Logan) near some of the potted plants, painting color on her lips between glances at a handheld mirror. He kept unsnagging her purple dress from the plants' thorns. The doctor hardly qualified as religious, but my sister had brought him along like a faithful cù sith. It made sense; even if both of them always turned red and stammered when the topic came up, we all more or less knew their Year of Promise had become more of a Century of Promise as they circled one another like sharks and calculated both the risks and rewards of official commitment. They were cautious and deliberate people, and this was their way. I just hoped I'd still be alive to witness their inevitable wedding. Or at the very least, to hear a verbal confession that they liked one another ("It's so obvious," I'd teased Emery at dinner the night before, and she'd kicked my ankle and muttered back with utter deadpan, "Don't tell that to him or he'll think I'm gross.")

Emery's foot tapped the air with constant rhythm, bobbing so much it was a wonder she didn't smear her make-up. When she saw me, she snapped the mirror shut and flung out her arms. "There you are. Any longer and Logan and I were going to miss the service. Longwood was the only one awake when we slipped out, by the way, but smoof, you kept us waiting."

"Emery!" I was so delighted to see her that I wasn't even mad she'd left my pixies unsupervised. I didn't even care if the few Fairies in the station today noticed my elation. Zipping up to her, I grabbed her cheeks in my hands. "Did you know that husbands and wives can be married without having to sleep together?"

"… What?"

"Anti-Bryndin told me about it today." I squeezed my palms together. "It's a relationship when you're married, but you don't sleep with the person you're married with, and you don't have to do the weird intense kisses or get touchy-feely if you don't want to. It's just like getting married to a Refract. Only it's completely legal, and I don't have to feel gross about wanting to marry my own counterpart. And the person you marry isn't actually a Refract. Isn't that incredible? This is the world we live in now!"

"Uh…" Emery rubbed her nose. "I've never thought about it before, but that makes sense, I guess. If two people don't want to do those things, it's not like they have to. I'm happy for you?"

"You should be. Dear dust, isn't it amazing? It's all the benefits of marriage with none of the downsides! It's actually a thing. Anti-Bryndin offered to show me how it works. He said that I was always welcome to come over to the Castle any time, and we could talk about politics and-"

"Wait. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no." Emery took my wrists and peeled my hands from her face. "You went out to pick up a package, and you came back with the High Count of the Anti-Fairies as your beau?"

I tried to tug my hands from hers, but she clung on. "He's not my beau. He just said that we could be friends who make each other a priority over other friends. Scrying on a whim when we want to talk, sitting at the same table when we eat refreshments after the Council meetings, letting our peoples mingle freely and happily, voting for all the same policies, going out to drink together for-"

"What was that last one you said?" she asked, and even Logan looked alarmed.

"Going out to drink together for the holidays?"

"Voting for all the same policies." Emery released me and brought her hands to the vague points of her ears. "Oh, no. I see where this is going, and I'm gonna stop you right there, because this has 'Bad idea' written on it from every angle. In fire. Anti-Bryndin is a master of subtle manipulation, Fergus. He carries Winni's favor. Demigod of Communication ring any bells? He gets into your head and figures out what you want, and twists your perceptions and desires."

I pulled back. "It's not like that. Anti-Bryndin really meant what he said."

Emery crossed her arms, hovering higher. "Oh, really? And do you know that he hasn't made this same promise of friendship to all the other ambassadors? What about the Purple Robe? Everyone says they're an item. I've heard they've kissed, and Purple's crushing hard."

"Stop it. You weren't there. He meant what he said- I could see it in his smile."

"I'm just saying," she protested as I turned my back, "I'd be careful about trusting him if I were you. I know you're a little out of the loop with the whole Eros Nest thing and all, but have you heard? People say he keeps his honey-lock partner, Anti-Zoe, imprisoned in a grain silo until the time comes when their instincts force them together."

I stared at a far window, holding my elbows. "You weren't there. You didn't hear him squeal with excitement when I agreed to preen with him. He wouldn't fake that. You didn't see how true and understanding he was about everything I said. Maybe you shouldn't believe everything the media tells you about Anti-Fairies. Anti-Fairies aren't evil. They're just misunderstood. Sure, they're a little mischievous with all the bad luck they cause, but they don't mean to be. Those are just their instincts. Like how gynes and drones need to preen."

"Fergus," Emery said, a low tone in her voice. "Are you going to do something stupid?"

"Stupid? Me? Hold up." I tightened my fingers. "I just spent the last 500 years imprisoned in a giant box, poked and prodded and tormented in every humiliating way possible. And you know what? You know what?" I dropped my arms and turned around. "How often did you come around to see me? No, forget I asked that. How often did you come to see me, without throwing comments about how you only bothered to come because you were using me as an excuse to dodge chores? Or because Ambrosine promised to take you out for food? Or because you were escorting some punks you met at the Academy? Where were you? And why has Anti-Bryndin been nicer to me in one day than you've ever been since the day we met?"

"Because we're siblings!" Emery flung out her arms again, still clutching her mirror and lip-coloring stick. "That's what siblings do. We tease and fool with each other, and one thing we don't do is mess with each other's heads with- with- seductive tactics to win political favors!"

"'We're siblings,'" I mocked, and shook my head. "No. Don't play that card, Emery. I was captured like an animal, and I deserved better than the little treatment you bothered to give me. I live my life the way that makes me happy. Don't force me into your box."

"Anti-Bryndin wants to use you as a fidchell piece in his underhanded plans to overthrow the Fairy government or something."

I hoisted my cutlery box from where I'd dropped it on the floor. "No. Stop. You don't know him. See, this is why I can't tell you things."

"Oh, like you tell me things before this."

"Apparently I should. Then you would have known I don't want you to shove me into a relationship with Iris Needlebark."

Logan edged away, twiddling his thumbs. Emery huffed and jabbed a finger down at the floor. "Look, I get that you're mad, but I was right about one thing: You're desperate for attention and social interaction. I set you up with Iris because I was just trying to help. She has a major project that she needs help with, you need a job, and if a relationship comes out of it, then that's a bonus."

"I don't want a stereotypical glittery, giggly, passionate marriage! Dear dust, Emery- When are you going to realize not every Fairy in the universe desires romance in their friendships? I don't shove my nose in your business to ask what goes on between you and Logan."

"Nothing's going on between me and Logan!" she shrieked.

"Yeah right. I'm a gyne, honey. My nose is better than yours, and you don't do as good a job washing off his pheromones before you come home as you think you do. I honestly don't understand how it's possible you haven't given Ambrosine a proper grandchild yet." I threw the imp a sideways glance, and he grabbed his antennae in one hand, gaze dropping to the floor. Emery's eyes darted between his stomach and me. She moved to step between us, and I laughed aloud.

"Oh, that explains it. You lost it, didn't you? So the Eroses did shoot you after all. It was just with a faulty arrow."

"St-stop," he whimpered, clutching his elbow.

"Fergus, shut up. Just shut up."

"And you still with unnotched wings, too. We're a whole family of illegitimacy. I truly thought you'd be the one to break the Whimsifinado curse. Shame on you."

Emery lunged forward, grabbing the front of my shirt and wrenching me towards her. "Shut. Up."

"Was it in secret? Ambrosine will be so disappointed. He'll think we don't trust him."

"We couldn't have afforded another nymph." Emery's tears ruined her eye paint in an instant. "Don't you get it? Our family's not as rich as you think we are. When Dad got pregnant with you, Praxis cut him from the rest of the Whimisfinado line. He poured our family's money into the Barrier instead of giving Dad his inheritance. Everything Dad ever bought in your early years, he bought with borrowed money. Can you be a little blitzing grateful? We made you a Pixie World. And to pay for your pixies' food while you were in the Nest, I chose your kids' lives over mine. When Ambrosine went to work, I stayed to nymphsit them instead of eloping. You don't understand what Logan and I have sacrificed for your selfish, entitled butt, so shut up!"

I stared at her, expressionless, and pushed her fingers from my clothes. "You chose poorly, then. If the pixies were yours and I in your position, I'd have killed them all to make room for mine in a wingbeat."

"You're such a gyne," Emery screeched. She dove at me, raking her fingernails at my cheeks. I stuck my foot against her pelvis and shoved her off with a solid kick; she collapsed in Logan's arms. Not caring if a few random passersby heard me, I dove on with, "Anti-Bryndin is offering me what I've always wanted, but what I never had a word for it until now. I need the honest companionship of someone who doesn't want to sleep with me. Get it? Not an old maid you think needs a drake in her life to sweep her off her feet and turn everything so hunky-dory in a twirl of wings!"

I wiggled my fingers in her face for emphasis, and then stopped short. "Gasp. She's standing right behind me, isn't she?"

Emery's face turned to confusion, and then alarm. Then totally exaggerated sweetness. She straightened up and clapped her hands once, her shoulders rolling back as she lifted her wings. "Iris! I'm so sorry! I didn't know your tram was coming in at this time, or I would have been waiting there to let you off myself."

I turned to see the alux dame floating near one of the terminal gates, a ring of blue flowers wrapped around the base of her enormous pink and gold crown. "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop," she said quietly.

"Well, it's wonderful you made it. My brother had planned to head home to check on his sons and change into more professional clothes, but on further inspection, he doesn't care what others think of him." Taking Logan's shoulders, she steered them both towards the station's stairwell. "I'll leave you two alone, then. Logan and I need to go."

They left. Which was fine, really. Iris and I hovered in silence for several seconds, listening to our whirring wings. Then I remembered I was supposed to have manners, so I cleared my throat and extended my hand.

"I apologize tremendously that you had to hear my sister and I arguing. We don't always see eye to eye, but we'll both blow off steam this afternoon and be back to our usual happy, loving selves tomorrow. And I can explain that part about Anti-Bryndin."

"There's no need." Iris accepted my handshake, holding my gaze but looking like she'd rather do anything else. "The matters of your personal life are your own business. I don't intend to judge."

"It makes more sense in context, I swear. It's not what you probably think." Releasing her hand, I gestured towards the nearest bench. "Would you like to sit for a minute before we head to your office?"

"I would, thank you." Iris floated past me, smooth of face. Good. That would give Emery and Logan a head start.

"Yeah… yeah. Sorry. I shouldn't have called you an old maid. I was just trying to upset my sister. She thinks you're an excellent boss."

Her lips twisted in a smile. Settling herself at the bench's edge, she glanced up. "I am an old maid. And perhaps it would break the ice if I were upfront and told you, I suspected Emery might have some ploy to pair us up. However, I'm not particularly interested in pursuing any kind of close relationship with anyone at this time in my life."

Least of all a gyne who even fought with damsels. "Oh," I said, wings faltering. "Well, I'm glad we're on the same page, then." I sat on the opposite side of the bench. Silence. Iris gazed towards the windows that overlooked the city. I stared through the ones that faced the Tortoiseshell Peaks, where my old hometown of Novakiin lay tucked away and unfamiliar now. There weren't a lot of Fairies out and about on Thursday, but someone called for a tram conductor to hold the car a few seconds more.

I gestured to Iris's headband with my pointer fingers, hands still clasped. "I like flowers, but I don't know that one. What kind are they?"

The flowers in question were blue, with fluffy yellow balls bouncing in their middles. She reached up to touch the circlet with her fingertips. Iris frowned for a moment, then brightened all at once. She released the flower, allowing the folded petal to spring back into place. "Oh! It's a type of commelina, but I'm afraid I can't remember which one."

"A commelina… Nope. Never heard of it. But I really like that name."

Iris chuckled. "It's also called 'the widow's tear.' I just came from my mother's funeral, and my father asked me to wear them today. I haven't stopped to take them off yet."

Oh. Well. Crud. See, this is why we should plan things instead of procrastinating.

"Your mother's funeral? Uh…" My hands went up. "We can reschedule, if you need some time alone."

"No need," was Iris's breezy reply. "I wasn't terribly close to her anyway, especially in recent years." She sighed, in half-amusement. Her clasped hands disappeared between her knees, and she tilted back her head. "Mother was a damsel of tradition. She never trusted Angels, and wasn't happy about my interest in adding them to Amity's godparenting roster. But now that she's passed on, she can't tell me what to do anymore."

"We should probably head to your office. Would you tell me about yourself? Wait, I'll go first to get you started…"

We talked the whole glide to Amity headquarters, and all the way up the stairs. Iris was an interesting damsel, who'd undeniably worked hard to secure the position she had now. Her office was well-outfitted in nice chairs, but in a humble way, not an overly affluent one. While she studied her folders, I examined a painting of an Earthside landscape on the wall behind her. I knew the place. Curious how the world works.

Iris placed one folder on top of the other and handed it to me. "Right, then. Thank you for joining me, Head Pixie. I think this is where we should start."

"Then by all means, let's start." I took the folder and opened it, sitting in the chair opposite her. But not a second later, the half-heart crystal around my neck began to glow golden. I glanced at Iris. She arched her brows, lips pursed.

"I'll just be a minute," I said, rising to my wings. "Something important must have come up, but after this, I'll keep it in the other room until we're done, I swear."

"No trouble. I'll just review my notes."

In the washroom, I grabbed the crystal in my fist and brought it close to my eyes. "You can't be serious," I muttered. I waited for a moment, mulling over my options, then gave it a shake. The image manifested into Anti-Bryndin, sitting behind his desk in what I assume was the High Count's office. Bright yellow curtains made up the wall behind him, with only a small gap between them peeking through at the castle courtyard beyond.

"You took a moment to answer," he said, voice soft with slight concern. "I hope I am not a bother."

I adjusted my glasses. "Yeah. Excuse the delay. It took me a second to ask myself how you possibly could have thought of more things to talk to me about in the same day I already saw you. What's the word, hummingbird?"

"But… Winni is the leopard? Dayfry is the hummingbird." Anti-Bryndin twiddled his fingers. "Ah, this gives me some embarrassed thoughts to say, Head Pixie, but… Do you like saucerbee fantasy leagues?"

I almost blinked. "Uh. Yes? Doesn't everybody?"

His ears flicked up. His wings folded against his back. "Oh, good. Then this will not be so awkward. Ah, the people who are playing for indoor saucerbee season. If you have their names from the mail booklet, you could read them to me. Then I can make my notes so I can have plans with my bracket and imagined team."

My eyelids clenched shut, and I made an instant choice. With a ping, I summoned the booklet from my office desk. I practically felt a gray hair sear across my scalp, delighting in my frivolous use of magic. But it appeared in my hands in fine condition. I leaned my shoulder to the wall and listed the names of the season's roster aloud a few at a time, which went incredibly slowly.

"A shame you cannot just ping the book here," Anti-Bryndin mused, still jotting in the last of the names. "Then you would not have to do this for me. But of course, with the Barrier up, and border control high…" He shrugged.

I thought about reading Anti-Bryndin the names of the players every single saucerbee season, and inwardly winced. "Yes, that's definitely too bad. I hope you can get a postal system set up eventually."

"Ah!" His head jerked up. "No, that is a good idea. Of course, it will be hard. But, I am an anti-swanee. It is often the swanee who run the post in Fairy World. I think I might have connections." Smiling, he set his quill aside. "I hope I can find some help to put it together. Maybe someday, things between Anti-Fairy World and Fairy World will be more equal. Thank you for this, Head Pixie. Your time is appreciated, and your kindness very dear to me."

"Yeah," I said, still holding the booklet open with my pointer finger. I ended the call, but stayed in the washroom a moment longer, holding half the heart crystal in the palm of my hand, all my weight braced against the wall.

---

A/N - Text to Life: Among bats, licking someone is a means of initiating courtship, which is why most Fairies are reluctant to preen with Anti-Fairies. My brain said "Anti-Bryndin is probably having feels so it's gonna be weird" until my heart said "Write it with a slumber party vibe."

Partners in a queerplatonic relationship actually are called zucchinis, the term having originated from the aromantic/asexual community out of the general idea that "no other word quite described the relationship." Since I try to avoid anachronisms where I can, and since the British English word for zucchini is courgette, I saw the chance and I embraced the chance.