Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)

RPOV

Could ghosts feel pain?

It was a question I had never thought to ask, nor believed that I would ever ask. Yet, it was a question that had plagued my mind continually for a solid few days without soil or taint. Was it even possible? They were dead and pain was very much a living conundrum…right? It had been a couple of days since Mason had appeared in my dorm room; I could remember him clearly: hunched over, gasping and gagging, as his eyes looked towards me and his hand reached out, begging me to help him. But I couldn't. All I could do was sit there and watch.

It was like Spokane all over again...

I found myself punching out my anger at half four in the morning. In the few days that had passed, I had managed to keep my concerns to myself, though of course, Adrian had his suspicions and Killian, given that he was following me everywhere, too was picking up on my more shaken state. Thankfully, both knew better than to press the situation and I was glad of it. I also had a little more reason to be happy that day as it was the day that Killian had arranged for me to visit Dimitri.

I am not quite sure exactly how he did it. All I knew was that it had involved a very long conversation with first Alberta, then Dr. Olendzki and finally Headmaster Lazar, but somehow he had managed to get through them all and I was scheduled in for around two o'clock. I honestly didn't see what all the fuss was about: I mean, he was unconscious, what did they think I wanted to do? Persuade him to tell the Academy to stop having Killian follow me around and hope that when he wakes up he'll be both agreeable and remember? I think not. I just wanted to know that he was doing okay. That was it. Neither Alberta nor Dr. Olendzki were being particularly forthcoming about that information; the last I heard was an ambiguous rumbling that he might be on the verge of waking up, but neither of them thought that this news was relevant to me. I couldn't help but think that they were holding something back, and I was determined to figure it out.

That, along with the ever-recurring question as to whether ghosts feel pain. Suddenly my day seemed a lot busier than I had initially thought.

"Alright, Rose. We're done." Killian said, steadying the bag.

"What? Too much for you?"

He laughed and shook his head, taking down the bag and gesturing for me to get ready for my first lesson. The night passed slowly and I wasn't really paying attention for most of it; I remained steadfast distracted by the prospect of visiting Dimitri such that calculus went straight in one ear and out the other (though, to be fair, that was what it did normally). In fact, I was in such a daze that I didn't even notice when I walked into an unwitting individual on the way to lunch.

"Whoah, sorry there," I said when I felt the contact of his shoulder.

The response was not what I was expecting. "Don't ever touch me, you little bitch."

I blinked but was quick to compose myself. "Hey! What's your problem, buddy?"

"Right now, you are." Was the snapped reply. His eyes glared at me, blazing in his sockets. It was a rage that boiled and bubbled like emerging magma. A sensible person in this situation would step away. I was not a sensible person.

Killian, however, was and stepped between us. "Okay, let's take it down a notch..." he said, pushing me back a little.

The boy glared at him before actually harrumphing and walking away. I watched him go with no little shock on my face. "What on earth was up with him?" I said, still dumbfounded by the sheer level of anger he had exuded for what was clearly just an accident. "Who even is he anyway?" I said, turning to Killian as we resumed our approach to the cafeteria upon realising that I had never seen him before, despite him being around the same age as me.

Killian's face was a hard thing to read at that moment; he seemed both contemplative and deeply concerned as he replied. "Reed Lazar."

"Reed Lazar?" I was certainly not expecting that. "Jesus Christ," I muttered.

Killian still remained deep in thought, and I had a feeling I knew what about. Unless he was just having a really bad day, Reed clearly had some sort of anger issue and with the conversation between Avery and her father that Killian and I had witnessed, there was considerable cause for concern.

I suddenly found myself wanting Kirova back in charge, which was not a thought I thought I'd ever have. But then again, it wasn't quite as strange as whether bloody ghosts feel pain.

Which reminded me.

"Hey, do I still have to do that community service crap as part of this thing?" I asked, gesturing between us.

Killian nodded, coming out of his contemplative state. "Aye," he said. I resisted commenting. "And I'm glad you've brought it up because we still haven't decided what-"

"Can I help Father Andrew?"

Killian looked back over to me with no little surprise. "Oh, um, okay…" he said, his tone clearly feeling that I had some ulterior motives at play here which, to be fair, I did, but he didn't need to know that.

"Sorry, it's just when I had to do community service before, we helped clear out Father Andrew's stuff and I found it quite therapeutic," I explained, feeling that it was probably needed.

What I did not account for was Killian's ability to pick up on my use of language. "We?" he inquired.

Oh, crap. I thought but played it off cool. "Yeah, me and Dimitri."

"Guardian Belikov was on community service?" He said, a little amused.

I rolled my eyes, thankful that he wasn't reading too much into this. "No," I said, "it was just his day off and he said he had nothing better to do. I think he had finished all his westerns." I said jokingly.

Killian quirked a brow and I suddenly felt a wave of irritation. He could do that too!? "Westerns, huh? Well, it explains the duster."

I chuckled. "Yup, he was a total fanboy for the Old West."

Killian smiled. "I really can't imagine him being a 'total fanboy' for anything," he said.

"Well, you better believe it: there is a whole other side to the big, bad Guardian Belikov, filled mostly with John Wayne movies," I said with a wink.

He laughed. A small part of me was telling me that maybe I shouldn't be telling Killian this, but, really, it was nice to have someone to talk to about Dimitri. Also, Killian was one of the many who believed Dimitri to be the epitome of guardianship - stoic, strong and completely focused on his duty. Don't get me wrong, being a guardian was Dimitri's greatest privilege and he took an enormous amount of pride in it, but Dimitri was so much more than that and I was spreading the word. Really, it was an act of community service to have people stop looking at him like he was an antisocial god and start looking at him like he was a person.

And Killian seemed like a pretty good place to start.

We entered the cafeteria and immediately spotted the gang. Well, Adrian helped a bit:

"Hey, it's the babysitter and the baby!" he cheered, raising his glass.

I rolled my eyes while Killian just looked disapprovingly towards the drunken Moroi. Killian did not like Adrian, he didn't say anything, but it was clear. To be honest, a lot of the time, I didn't like Adrian, so I could see where the man was coming from. Along with Adrian sat the usual suspects: Christian, Lissa and Eddie, but there was a new arrival to the group in the form of Avery Lazar. Evidently, Lissa had decided to take on her change of heart and they sat in pleasant conversation across the table before Adrian had made his unruly exclamation.

"Remind me, which of us is still lingering about a high school, despite having left a number of years ago?" I challenged, plonking down next to Lissa while Killian stepped into the shadow of the wall, wearing a little smile at my comment.

"Yeah, why are you still here?" Avery said, turning to Adrian who sat, as it will surprise no one, at the head of the table. "I mean, I'm here by force, you're here...by choice? Reliving the glory days?" I was quite surprised by her boldness but was loving the fact that she was making jokes at Adrian's expense. So, apparently, was Christian who continued looking over at the Moroi with his usual sarcastic smirk.

But if Adrian was bothered, he hid it well. "Ah, my glory days are still to come," he replied with a wink. "And I am a free spirit: I do what I please when I please and answer to no one. My motives are forever concealed in a mist of mystery - it's what makes me so attractive." He said, wriggling his eyebrows at me.

I snorted. "In your dreams, Ivashkov."

"No, little dhampir," he said, "in yours." he winked.

"So it's really true," Avery said, turning to Adrian, but also Lissa, "You guys are...what? Unspecialised?"

"We prefer the term spirited," Adrian said with a wink towards Avery who looked rather amused. Clearly, he wasn't discriminatory over how he dished out his flirting. I was honestly inclined to rule his 'type' as just women.

"By that," Lissa interjected rather matter-of-factly, "he means we are Spirit users."

"And that lets you heal, and dream walk and read people's minds?" she said. "Holy shit, that's cool. You guys have completely bested my lonesome air magic."

"Yeah, welcome to the club," Christian said, popping a chip into his mouth.

Avery acknowledged him for a moment before turning her attention to me. "And you two are bonded, right?"

I eyed her, trying to gauge her interest, before nodding. "Yeah, Lissa brought me back from the dead."

"Seriously!?" she said, a little too excited, but no one else seemed to notice. "Wow, St. Vlad's is getting more interesting by the second."

"See now why I stick around?" Adrian said, raising his glass to his lips and taking a sip.

Avery grinned, looking between the group. "Yeah, Court was so boring. Dad had put so many restrictions in place that the only person I could really talk to was Reed."

At the mention of her brother, I remembered the encounter from only about ten minutes ago and could feel the girl's isolation; if that was what Reed was like normally and he was your only real company, I can imagine how desperate you would be to get out there.

"I haven't met Reed yet," Lissa said, politely turning to Avery, "Is he around? Would he like to join us?"

Avery shook her head. "Afraid not. He's in one of his moods. You know how it is, teenage boys and all."

It was an explanation to be sure, but I wasn't entirely sure I believed it.

If Avery picked up on my uncertainty, she hid it well when she turned back to me and inquired, "Rose, hope you don't mind my asking, but why are you being followed around by him." she said, nodding towards Killian.

I was about to reply, but Adrian beat me to it. "Cause she's too dangerous to be left alone," he said with a grin.

I scowled over at him. "It is not that." Well, it was a bit, but I was not willing to give Adrian the satisfaction of being right. "I disobeyed some orders during the attack a couple of weeks back," I said, brushing it off.

"By that, she means she ran back into a cave full of Strigoi for Belikov." Christian elaborated, mimicking Lissa's matter-of-factly from earlier.

"Who's Belikov?" Avery asked.

I shot Christian a little glare, before replying. "Guardian Belikov, he's my mentor."

"You ran back for him? That's...brave…" she said, with a slight smile, which I did in no way like.

"Thanks," I said, deadpan.

Her gaze lingered for longer than I was comfortable before resuming conversation elsewhere.

As far as first impressions went, this one was decidedly mixed. Avery was charming to be sure and clearly held an interest in our little group, but there was something off: something that I could neither place nor shake. It was yet another thing to add to my ever-growing list of things I didn't fully understand. For all my doubts though, I was put at ease by the calmness that flowed from Lissa's body into mine. She, despite her initial reservations, seemed to really like Avery. I think perhaps, in light of everything that had happened, Avery's fun-loving spirit was certainly an appealing distraction and, really, she seemed nice. I was probably just misreading her.

Lunch finished and we slugged back to class where I continued to remain distracted until the clock hit 01:45 and my final lesson of the day was done. And I was glad of it. I couldn't get out of that classroom fast enough; such was my rapidity that even Killian struggled to keep up.

"Rose! Hold up," he called out.

"Nu-uh, Hazza. You speed up." I replied, not slowing my pace for a second.

I could hear his groan before he broke into a little jog to catch up with my speed-walk. "You know, he isn't going anywhere." Killian pointed out.

"Nor is the toilet, but you still rush to get there when you need to." I quipped before I could properly think it through.

Killian shot me an amused glance. "Did you just compare Guardian Belikov to a loo?"

Yes, yes I did just compare the love of my life to a bog. But I shrugged it off all the same. "It works." And as an analogy for this particular situation, yes it did.

Killian shook his head. "Be sure to tell him that: I'm sure he'll appreciate it." He said, a little sarcastically.

"Can people actually hear you when they're in a coma?" I asked, suddenly finding myself very unaware of how these things work. Man, I should have paid attention in biology…

As it turned out, Killian seemed just as enlightened as I was. "I'm not actually sure. I know that hearing is the last thing to go and the first to come back, so maybe?" he said, pondering on it a little. I had noticed he did that a lot.

"Have you heard anything? About his recovery?" I asked as we rounded a corner.

Killian shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not."

I frowned. "Don't you find that weird?"

"What?" Killian said, mirroring my expression.

"That we haven't been informed. Or you haven't been informed, because they never tell me anything." I muttered, thinking back to the number of times I had to press for information, usually pertinent to either me or Lissa, in this institution.

Killian, for his part, still wore his perplexed gaze. "Why would they tell me?"

"Because they know I'll want to know, given that Dimitri is my mentor and that I dragged him out, and they've probably got some stupid patient-confidentiality rule in place that forbids them from telling me, so they'll you something to keep me occupied enough not to pry any further," I said.

Killian blinked. "Okay, you've thought that through."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I know how they operate. They did the same thing with Victor Dashkov - kept us in the loop long enough for us to believe it was okay whilst actually concealing something that was actually quite important." In that case, it was only the bloody trial which, I still maintained, should have included Lissa and me from the start.

"There is usually a reason for that, Rose," Killian said as we turned another corner, encroaching closer and closer to the hospital wing.

"Yeah, well, it's rarely a good one," I said as the wing came in sight. I felt my heart flutter within my chest, and I sped up again, much to the chagrin of Guardian O'Hara who, in spite of his notable height, found himself having to jog again.

The hospital was busy but was settling back into normality. Many of those injured from the attack had been discharged and the overwhelming majority were here for reasons unrelated to the attack. The waiting room, for example, saw two dhampir sporting matching black eyes accompanied with a bag of frozen peas; a Moroi who was looking unnaturally pale and holding a bucket in his lap and another dhampir clutching her ankle whilst glaring angrily towards it, as if telling it off for hurting. It was such a typical and mundane scene that it put me at a little ease to know that that school was on its way to recovery now that the threat had been eliminated.

Dr. Olendzki appeared from the double doors which led to the Academy's ward wing. She was carrying a clipboard in her hands with an apple resting on the top, clearly having had no time to stop for lunch. Smiling as she approached, her eyes rested on me. "Ah, Rose: two o'clock on the dot." She said, looking towards the clock.

"You know me, doc," I said. "Always on time."

She laughed. "Of course," She said with a smile. I grinned and followed her through, Killian in tow.

Dimitri was situated in Ward 17, one of the ICU rooms. I won't lie, the very idea of the ICU and that Dimitri was in it was enough to completely obliterate the former calmness in favour of a substantial wodge of fear. Hospitals had always made me uncomfortable - it was why I constantly strove to avoid them, even when I was legitimately in need of one. I wasn't even sure exactly what it was that repulsed me; there was just something so deeply unsettling about the atmosphere created through the smell, sight, touch, taste and sound of the meticulous cleanliness of the clinic.

And when you combine all those sensory provocations with the words Intensive Care Unit, it was made all the worse.

But regardless of my thoughts on the matter, the ICU was where we found him: lying motionless, save for the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest, on the white sheets of the hospital bed. The sight left me speechless. He was still Dimitri: still the lightly tanned, Russian-born and so unbelievably beautiful man I had fallen head over heels for, but for all I knew of him, I had never seen him so vulnerable. He appeared so peaceful, but, even as he lay there, there was an undercurrent of pain that lingered across his features like a vestige better gone. His hair lay loose around him and in disarray; if he were awake, he would have promptly fixed that, but I actually found myself rather enjoying this unkempt image. There was something so raw and real about it. He was dressed in the compulsory (and usually unflattering, but how Dimitri pulled it off, I will never know) hospital gown with his torso slightly exposed to allow access for the heart monitor which beeped at a slow, but continuous level.

I stood there in a flurry of emotions: part of me wanted to just run to his side and never leave while another part wanted to shout at him to wake up and another just wanted to cry. In response to this inner turmoil, I did nothing: stood, stunned, just looking at him before mustering the courage to peel my gaze away and towards Dr. Olendzki.

"How…?" I didn't get much further than that. But the good doctor understood my meaning all the same.

"He's doing well - his body is healing very well for the injuries he sustained, and he should be waking up soon. It has been a little over a fortnight and in his condition, that is around the length which would be expected, but of course, every case is different." She said.

My response was a nod.

She smiled as her pager buzzed. She shifted her clipboard to a single hand and slightly inclined it so that the apple on top balanced between it and her body before rummaging in her pocket for the pager. "Ah, it appears I have a Moroi with food poisoning to address. Could you keep an eye on her?" she said, talking about me but talking to Killian.

To be completely honest, I had completely forgotten he was there. He, having not forgotten that he was there, nodded and Dr. Olendzki left to attend her patient. I stepped in closer to Dimitri. I half expected him to move - he had always been so alert to the point of joking over how I could never sneak up on him. His motionlessness was unnerving, to say the least.

But I played off my unease in true Rose Hathaway style. "You know, he used to tell me off for staying in bed too long, the hypocrite."

Killian shook his head and laughed in good faith, but his expression told me I wasn't fooling him. "You guys were close, weren't you? Do you want a moment?" He asked.

I smiled. "Thanks. Sorry, it's just a little odd not seeing him about and telling me off." I said, suppressing my actual emotions.

Whether he believed me or not, I could not say. "You could try speaking to him. The doctor said he could be waking, maybe his hearing's back." Killian said with a little shrug.

I smiled. "Thanks, Hazza."

He rolled his eyes but was smiling all the same. "Right, I'll be out here." And with that, he stepped behind the door.

I suddenly found myself alone with Dimitri. Albeit an unconscious Dimitri, but I wasn't going to let that spoil the moment. "Hey, comrade," I said, pulling up a small plastic chair and plonking it beside his bed. I was then plagued by the question of what to talk about. I wasn't in want of conversation topics, but some were off limits for legal reasons, most notable being our entire relationship, which rather significantly narrowed the pool. I could have just sat there quietly - Dimitri and I often enjoyed each other's company without the need for words, but this was different. Dimitri wasn't silent, he was in a coma. And it was partly my fault.

I suddenly had my conversation topic.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get you out in one piece," I said, looking towards his closed eyelids, silently wishing them to open. I could remember his eyes perfectly: those deep brown eyes that I could get lost in. Yet, I knew my imagination could not do them justice. "Please wake up soon, comrade," I said. "I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, please wake up. Killian is nice, but he's not you. Guardian O'Hara, I should say. He's the one they've got watching me for running back in for you. Yeah, you heard right - saving your ass has got me being babysat, so really you owe me one," I said, chuckling slightly.

Silence met me. Dimitri would have laughed at that. If not, he'd have given me at least an exasperated: Oh, Roza…

I smiled at the thought. "Stan ran back for you," I told him. "Probably wouldn't cope if I got all the glory."

He is a good man, Rose.

I sighed. "Yeah, I suppose he is. I could have killed him though…" I felt the weight of my actions fall on me and suddenly Killian's chastisement made a lot more sense.

Punishment is rarely without cause.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah…" I shook my head and flopped back further into the seat, crossing my arms over my chest. "So what have you missed? There's been a ghost development. I know you're still a little sceptical but bear with me on this one. I'm planning on talking to Father Andrew about it, but I'm not sure it'll be of much use. What do you think? Could ghosts feel pain?"

Perhaps. They are lost souls trapped in the world of the living: it cannot be an easy balance. Perhaps they are in constant pain.

I considered the possibility and pondered the thought. "Maybe…" I said, trailing off a little. I sighed. This was certainly not something I could solve in an evening. Besides, I hadn't seen Mason since so perhaps it was just a one-time thing. Maybe. Hopefully. I sighed again. "What else has happened? Oh, Kirova's been replaced by a Lazar. I'm not sure how I feel about him. Neither is Killian, which means it's not just me being bitter."

Rose Hathaway? Bitter?

I narrowed my eyes to his unconscious form. Silence. No matter how well I could imagine, it would never be as good as the real thing: the real thing that was right in front of me but completely out of reach. I lifted my gaze from him and scanned the room and then the door: Killian stood with his back to us, so I knew the coast was clear. Edging forward, I took Dimitri's hand in mine and brought it to my lips, brushing them against his skin. "Come back to me…" I whispered against his palm when I felt it:

A twitch.

I snapped my head up and saw a slight crease form between his brows. The slow beat of the heart monitor's quickening.

He was waking up.

"Dimitri…" I said hopefully, gripping his hand tighter. His response was stronger. Jumping out of my chair, I plonked myself on the side of the bed, still holding his hand, and urged him awake. "Dimitri, wake up."

He groaned and mumbled something incoherent.

"Don't argue with me now, comrade. Wake up." I urged feeling the smile tug at my lips.

"Roza…" he mumbled, and the smile manifested into a full grin.

"Yes, Dimitri. I'm right here. Come on, wake up." I said, not bothering to hide the glee in my voice.

Such was my excitement that it attracted the attention of Killian, who turned a poked his head in the door. "Is everything alright-oh." He said.

I turned my head and smiled. "Go get Dr. Olendzki." I didn't say turned long enough to see if he left. I turned back to Dimitri as his eyes began to flutter open. "Dimitri…"

"Roza," he said, his voice returning to him, though it was thick under his Russian accent. "What...where are...I-I can't see…"

I shook my head and brought my hands to cup his cheeks. "Hey, I'm right here," I said, brushing my fingertips against his stubbled jaw.

But it did little to calm him. "I can't see…" he said, the panic clear in his voice.

My excitement faltered and my concern grew; a frown formed across my face as I edged closer. "Comrade, look at me. Look towards my voice."

His eyes, now open fully, flicked towards mine but their focus was off. Upon closer inspection, I saw his irises: the beautiful brown quality now slightly clouded. My heart jumped.

"Rose…" I heard Dr. Olendzki's voice but barely registered it. Instead, I remained focused on Dimitri: his rapid heartbeat, panicked breathing, and frantic eyes as he repeated the same thing over and over.

"I can't see...I can't see…"

A single tear ran down my cheek as the realisation hit me: Dimitri Belikov was blind.

Eeek!