Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)

RPOV

Having spent most of my life at the Academy, I was used to a certain level of certainty. That Kirova was going to be a bitch? Yup. That I'd find myself more often than not in Stan's detention room? Definitely. That I would go years on end without hearing a word from my mother? Without question. None of these things were particularly great, but they were at the very least stable. Now, it had all changed: Kirova was out, Stan had grown a conscience to the point of actual concern and my mother had even left Lord Selezky's charge in order to serve at the Academy and be closer to me. Added to this was Dimitri, oh Dimitri, and suddenly I had found myself in a swirling mess whose only by-product was uncertainty. I missed predictability and having things vaguely under control, but now I found that all of that had gone and really anything could happen.

One thing was for sure though: Killian O'Hara was a hard man to lose.

I had spent the best part of the day formulating and attempting to do just that, but to no success. Killian had stuck to me like glue - like a magnet in perfect opposition. Also, he was not an idiot. He had worked out, around forty-five minutes in, that I was trying to ditch him and so had upped his game, which was making my task a lot harder.

Dimitri had been released that day, it wasn't just that Killian and I had had a row. In fact, I had barely spoken to the man since the hospital. I had barely spoken to anyone actually. What would I say? I mean, really: this was not something that could be dealt with flippantly or lightly, but it seemed that that was all I could manage. When Killian did broach the idea of conversation, I brushed him off with brisk dismissal and promptly shut any chance of it down.

But he didn't seem disheartened by this. In fact, he had even had the balls to suggest that I talk through my 'conflict' with my friends, which whilst it may, for all intents and purposes, seem entirely reasonable, the truth was I was nowhere near ready to broach this topic, even with Lissa. The only person I wanted to talk to was Dimitri and that was a problem for the plain and simple reason that Alberta had forbidden it.

She had actually forbidden it. Forbidden to the point that Killian was under strict instruction to keep me away.

I mean, come on! Did they think I was an idiot!? Of course, I knew that Dimitri needed a little time to process what had just happened to him. He hadn't broken his arm or sprained his ankle: he was fucking blind! That was not something you got over in an evening - this was life-changing and I knew that. I knew he needed space, but what I didn't know was why Alberta felt the need to forcibly remind me of this.

Actually, I had a pretty good idea as to why I was being kept away. Despite their efforts to keep me out of the loop, I had found a way back in and discovered that as well as being discharged, Dimitri was also scheduled in for a meeting with the guardian council. Clearly, this was the reason Alberta had for forcing Killian to tighten his leash on me.

And so, I was trying to ditch him.

I had tried just sneaking off; I had tried pretending to need the loo; I had tried something a little more covert by just talking my way out of it, but nothing seemed to be working. Killian was prepared for anything I threw at him, no matter how eloquent my delivery was or how smart it seemed in my head. Covert wasn't working…

Maybe overt would?

"Rose!"

I bolted. I just ran, as fast and as far as I could. Thankfully, Dimitri's insistence on making me run laps till kingdom come was paying off as Killian struggled to keep up. He was also hindered by the fact I had ever so cleverly bolted during what was perhaps the busiest part of the vampiric day: the end of it. This wasn't exactly planned: as I mentioned, I had been at this for a while and Dimitri's meeting with Alberta and the guardian council was already happening, so I was a little desperate.

"Rose!" Killian shouted again as I turned another corner and ducked in under one of the pillared walls that lead to the quad. From the reflection in one of the windows to my left, I saw Killian pug through the crowd, unaware of my position.

Right. I thought, smiling at my victory. Time to find Dimitri.

Really, Alberta should have known better than to expressly ban me from anything. The meeting was being held in her office: a place I had been well acquainted with over the years. I reached the door but stopped myself from entering when I heard the voices inside. It was already underway, and I didn't want to interrupt, just listen, so edged closer to the door, pressing it open so that the muffled voices became clearer.

Alberta sat in the centre of what looked like a panel of guardians. There were two on each side as well as a few dotted about the walls, all facing the man sitting in front of them.

Dimitri.

Physically, he was looking a lot better than the last time I had seen him: the bandages had gone, paleness replaced by his former light tan and he had cleaned himself with a shower and a shave. But then there was his expression: his whole demeanour. He sat hunched over a little, his hands hanging limply between his open legs and his unfocused gaze fixed on the ground. They had given him a pair of blacked-out sunglasses, but he wasn't wearing them; they instead rested on his lap, precariously balancing on his thigh ready to fall on the ground at any time. My heart clenched. He was unhappy, deeply and despairingly unhappy. I doubted if he was actually registering anything Alberta was saying, just nodding systematically to give its illusion.

Alberta, for her part, continued speaking, but shot him a sympathetic look every so often, then remembering he could not see it. "...Obviously, the Academy will fund the medical bills as is detailed in your contract, section three, sub-section thirteen…" She spoke on about compensation and other such like, her voice tender, but with that little element of rehearsal embedded within which told me that she was following procedure to a tee.

Dimitri looked like he couldn't care less as she cited section after section, procedure after procedure. He looked like he wanted to be absolutely anywhere but that room, but such was his own obedience, he sat, listening or not, before her.

I wanted to help him out, just run in and drag him out of there and honestly, the temptation was pretty persuasive, but I was spared any further dwelling by three very disgruntled syllables:

"Hathaway."

Ah, shit. I turned my head to see a very pissed-off Killian. He stood with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed to a glare. I won't lie, he looked pretty intimidating and had the circumstances been different, I would have probably been a little more terrified, but as it was…

"Hi," I said.

He raised a thick eyebrow slowly and hardened his glare. "This is your idea of 'top form'?" He said it as a question, but I knew it was rhetorical.

I folded my own arms. "I am not apologising." I said with no little defiance.

Killian remained unhindered. "Not to me, perhaps, but to Guardian Petrov-" he stopped as he saw the horrified look on my face. He may have thought it was him, but I had stopped listening a long while ago:

"...this will be implemented as soon as the termination of your guardianship is official."

I froze.

Termination of guardianship.

Dimitri's guardianship.

I didn't hesitate.

"No, Rose - wait!"

"What!?" I shouted, storming into the office to the surprise of every single person present. "You can't do that!"

"Miss Hathaway!" Alberta snapped, rising to her feet before her eyes landed on Killian who had run after me. "Guardian O'Hara?" she said, demanding an explanation.

Killian gave a sharp sigh. "I do apologise, she lost me. It will not happen again."

But I paid no attention to either of them, instead focusing on the matter at hand. "You can't take away his guardianship."

"Miss Hathaway, this does not-"

"He is the best Guardian here!" I declared, not really caring that there were a good number of senior guardians present in that room.

"Miss Hathaway-"

"So what if he is blind, he can-"

"Rose."

Dimitri's voice silenced me: enough power to topple nations condensed into a single word. He had turned his head slightly, his eyes searching for where I was, but not finding.

I felt my heart shatter in my chest as I saw it. He had given up - his world was falling apart and he had stopped fighting it; allowing the waves to come over and pull him under, Dimitri Belikov had stopped swimming and condemned himself to drown.

Well, I wasn't having it…

If it meant saving him, I would get in there with him, hire a lifeboat, hell, I'd drain the bloody ocean! I was not going to let him lose what he had worked so hard for one mistake, which wasn't even his fault, turned sour. I was reminded of the day Dimitri had brought me back, how he had volunteered to mentor me to save my sorry ass from my own mistake, which was very much my own fault.

And then it hit me. "I can do it."

Alberta frowned. "What?"

I met her gaze. "I'll train him. I know his technique - I've been learning it for two years. And he's fine, look at him: he can still fight, and he's got four other perfectly functioning senses. And they say that we see with more than just our eyes. So why the hell not? I can do it during my extra training sessions: it won't affect my education. And I'll have Guardian O'Hara to help." I added before I could censor it.

Killian was most certainly not expecting that, such that he froze where he was and the only thing he managed to utter out was a nervous: "Uhh…"

Well, at least it wasn't an outright 'no'.

Alberta sighed. "Miss Hathaway-"

But I cut her off, giving her my ultimatum. "Give me until the end of the year. Until Graduation. I'll show you all: Guardian Belikov," I emphasised, "will be as good, if not better than before. And then you can have this discussion."

Silence met me. Most of it was shocked, but I could see the consideration in Alberta's features. She was considering this. Killian's words suddenly hit me: knew of him, but did not know him. Dimitri's reputation as a guardian was formidable, everyone knew that, but it was only Alberta here who really knew Dimitri and knew how much this meant to him. That was why she was so resolutely following protocol without any emotion and why she was considering my offer: she did not want to do this.

"Well," she said, looking towards me and then flicking her eyes back to the rest of the room, "you must realise how untoward this situation is, Miss Hathaway, but ultimately the decision lies with Guardian Belikov." She said, making sure to use his title.

Suddenly the whole room turned to Dimitri. Even though he could not see, I knew he could feel the stares. His eyes were closed, and his head hung in silence.

"Dimitri…" I said, stepping forward.

I saw his eyelids tightened before he took a breath and straightened up. "I accept." his tone was firm and clear but clipped.

Alberta paused. "And is Guardian O'Hara agreeable?"

My eyes widened and cast a shaky glance at Killian.

His expression was neutral. He had no loyalty to Dimitri, or me for that matter. He was fully in his right to say 'no' and walk away from this mess in one piece. He could make his life so much easier for himself, but he did not. Instead, he nodded and said: "Yes."

My heart jumped a beat.

Alberta nodded. "Then it's settled," she said, sitting down again. No sooner were those words spoken did Dimitri push himself out of his seat and put his glasses on. I made to go to him but was stopped by Killian. Another guardian jumped to his side before I could reach him and he walked away, his hand resting on the other guardian's shoulder as he led him out of the room.

"Don't," Killian said, his hand still around my arm and keeping me in place.

I was ready to lash out at him but remembered what he had done only seconds ago. I swallowed my anger and exited the room.

"Guardian O'Hara, a word please," Alberta said just as Killian made to follow me. "Rose, please wait outside." She said, her emphasis not at all subtle. I nodded and stood outside with strict obedience as Killian approached her desk.

The door was closed and not opened again for another half hour. After the fifteen-minute mark, I was getting a little anxious, but sucked it up, stuck my headphones in and remained put. When Killian eventually did out, he looked a little surprised to see me still there, but his expression fell to its natural expression, soft but serious.

"Nice to see you can actually follow orders."

It was a low blow, but I deserved it. "Thank you," I said.

He looked over at me, considered for a moment before speaking again. "Rose, I'm going to ask you a question and I want an honest answer."

I frowned. "Okay…"

"Are you in love with Guardian Belikov?"

I hesitated. "Yes."

He remained neutral. "Is he in love with you?"

I hesitated again, though this time for a lot longer. My being in love with him, whilst frowned upon, was not illegal. The other way round, however… I did not want to perjure Dimitri so tried to work around it. "Can I plead the fifth?"

Killian, sighing a little and shaking his head, smiled. "I don't recall you taking law?"

I grinned back as I realised, he was teasing and therefore not fully enraged by this. The relief had me shrugging and wandering down the corridor. "Lissa had a mock. I helped revise."

He nodded and followed. "Your loyalty to those you care for is something to be admired, Rose." He said. Several moments passed before he spoke again. "I won't say anything, you have my word."

I looked towards him. "Why?" I asked.

His expression went back to its neutrality, but there was a pain that flashed across. "There is no nobler cause than to fight for the ones you love. Don't forget that." He said before a smile crossed his features. "Besides, if you keep your mouth shut, I'll still have plausible deniability."

"Huh?"

"I thought you said you helped revise...?"

I rolled my eyes.

We continued through the corridors in no particular direction. Dimitri was still in my thoughts: he was shutting himself down, I knew it all too well. But I wasn't going to let him fall, not when we had come so close and so far… I would not let this pull him back into the pit he had confined himself in for so long.

With this in mind, I decided to go to Lissa: it would have been the epitome of hypocritical if I were to scold Dimitri for bottling up his emotions if that was exactly what I was doing. I saw the smile fall over Killian's features as I made my way to her room where I knew she would be at this time, and I allowed him the pleasure of being right. I felt I owed him that much.

But my motives weren't exactly pure…

"Rose," she said, upon opening the door.

"Hey Liss," I said. "You mind if I come in? Sparky not hiding under the bedsheets?"

She gave me a slight glare but opened the door. "Very funny."

Killian, ever the gentleman, said he'd wait outside, and I smiled, making a mental note to thank him later for that and everything else just for good measure.

"How are you holding up?" she asked, sitting down on her bed and crossing her legs over. She knew. How she found out, I did not know for certain, but had a strong suspicion it involved an Irish accent, given the Academy's instance of keeping this all under wraps.

I sighed slightly. "I'm okay. But I'm here to ask a favour of you."

Her eyes widened and she leaned forward a little. "Of course," she said.

I hesitated. "You may not like it…"

"Rose," she said definitely. "You are my best friend, of course, you may ask me for a favour."

I smiled, but still felt the resistance within me. "I want you to heal him," I said, the words tumbling out quickly so as not to give in to the resistance.

Lissa blinked. I knew I did not need to elaborate, for she understood perfectly. "Rose, I…"

"Please, Lissa," I said.

She hesitated again. "Rose, I don't know…"

"Please," I repeated, stepping forward and onto the bed, knees first, so that I kneeled before her. "You know, I would never ask you to do anything like this - to use your magic and put you in danger of the darkness - but I beg you: do this for me. I will stand by you; I will suck that darkness out. I'll do whatever it takes…" I assured.

Her eyes were wide and contemplative; she still looked a little hesitant, but her nod told me of her determination. "Okay, Rose. I'll do it."

I felt my heart jump. "You will?"

She nodded. "I can't promise-"

I cut her off, throwing my arms around her. "Thank you!"

She was a little surprised at first but settled into the hug fully. "I will try my best."

"You always do."

"Ooo, what's going on here?"

The joy I felt upon hearing Lissa's admission was enough to overpower any reservations I may have had about Adrian sauntering into her room and our conversation uninvited and unannounced. "Thank you," I whispered again to Lissa, completely ignoring Adrian, or at least trying to.

I felt her nod and smile. "Anytime."

"Are you two going to make out now? Because I am so ready for this!"

I pulled back and glared at Adrian; he was ruining a perfectly perfect moment, and I was not appreciating it. "Did you want something?"

"Oh, little dhampir," he said, plonking himself on Lissa's desk chair, "must you always think so low of me?"

"What are you doing here, Adrian?" Lissa asked.

He shrugged and started swinging in the chair. "I saw Braveheart out there and figured you'd be in here."

I rolled my eyes. "I you decided just to walk in?"

He stopped swinging. "We haven't seen you for a while, Rose. I wanted to make sure you are okay."

"Well, I'm fine: you can piss off now."

"Sheesh, charming," he said, placing his hand on his heart in mock-offense, but he got up all the same.

Lissa stopped him before he could reach the door. "Hey, are we still on for the training sessions?"

Adrian turned, something flickering in his eyes, but was suppressed with a smile. "Of course, as soon as you like."

He left and Lissa and I continued. We spoke about everything and nothing and I realised how much I had missed this: Lissa and Dimitri were perhaps the only two people I knew who could put me at such ease, even just by being there: the love I had for Lissa went beyond duty and, while it may not be the romantic love I held for Dimitri, it was just as important to me and filled me with just as much joy and comfort. I left Lissa's room feeling a lot better than I did when I had entered it. Killian perked up from his surveying stance and gave me an inquiring look.

I scowled. "Yeah, okay: you were right."

He smiled. "That's what I like to hear."

"Well, don't get used to it-bloody hell!" I cursed as I found myself slamming into someone. For a moment, I was worried it was Reed Lazar again and prepared myself for the outburst but was sourly disappointed when I saw the smug face of Jesse Zeklos.

Well, there went my good mood.

"Jesse." I groaned.

He smirked. "Hathaway, nice to see you still can't keep your hands off me."

I glared at him. "I can assure you, I can," I said flatly.

"Sure," he said with a wink. I groaned again and moved passed him when his voice stopped me in my tracks. "So, I heard about Guardian Belikov."

I froze.

"Blind, really? Not much use anymore. Shame he didn't manage to keep you under control."

I felt my blood begin to boil and I turned to smack him in the face but was stopped by a restrictive hand.

Killian.

At this, Jesse laughed. "Awww, got your bodyguard to fight your battles for you?" he said, mocking me.

I glared first and Killian and then at him. "I can fight my own battles, as you well know…" I said, threatening him with my tone as I dared him to remember how I vowed to kill him. True, I was under the influence of the darkness, but that was a mere technicality and one that Jesse knew nothing about, clearly, as he hesitated a little. I grinned, feeling a slight trickle of darkness drip into my body. "And as you said, Guardian Belikov isn't here to stop me this time…"

"Rose…" Killian warned.

Jesse smirked. "But he is…" He said with a wink. "See you around, Hathaway."

I glared after him as he swaggered away, before shoving Killian's hand off my shoulder and glaring at him. "What was that?"

"Rose, I was not going to let you hit him," Killian said frankly.

"You made me look like an idiot!"

"I did no-"

"No, you made me look like a fucking idiot in front of that-ah!" I screamed as a sharp pain shot through my head, pushing me to the ground.

My outburst completely forgotten, Killian rushed down to my fallen side. "Rose, what's the matter?"

I hissed through my teeth as the pain increased. My eyes clamped shut and my head pounded as though my skull was being hacked with a knife. I could barely hear Killian's concerned remarks and when I finally managed to open my eyes the sight that greeted me was far from desirable:

Mason.

His eyes looked straight back at me: wide with fear as he gasped and gagged and then vanished. He went as suddenly as he came, and the pain went with him. My eyelids fluttered and I found myself lying on my side on the floor, doubled over in an almost foetal position.

"Rose…?" Killian's face came into focus.

I moaned and flopped onto my back. "Ow." What the hell was that!?

"We're going to the doct-"

"No, no," I waved him off, rubbing my fingertips against my temples. "It's just a migraine. I think I just need to have a lie down: it'll pass, I'm sure." I'm not sure who I was trying to convince: me or him. But one thing was certain and that was I did not want to go back to the hospital; I had had quite enough of it for the moment.

Killian hesitated, but complied; helping me to my feet, he followed in silence as I wandered slowly to my dorm room. Guardian Jackson was waiting there with a somewhat bored expression which turned to a frown when we came into her sight. I was too busy trying to rub out any excess pain from my temples and Killian had fallen into his usual brooding contemplation, so Guardian Jackson had no hope of getting any sort of explanation from either of us.

In any case, I entered my room without being questioned.

As soon as I was in range, I flopped down on my bed and tried to force myself to sleep. It was difficult as every time I closed my eyes, I saw Mason's tortured expression as though it was burnt into my vision. What was happening? I had absolutely no idea, but I knew it was not good. Selfishly, I did not want to deal with it, so tossed over and tried to think of something else. The something else was of course Dimitri which did nothing to help my quest for sleep. I groaned and flopped back on my back, trying to clear my mind of the chaos it was undergoing. It took me another hour to fall into a vague sense of slumber and, as fitful as it was, it was made all the worse when my dreamless state was then turned into the quad in the centre of the Academy and the scent of cloves tainted the air.

I groaned.

"Adrian!" I shouted.

"Yes, my love?" he appeared from one of the arches.

I glared at him. "I am not in the mood for this," I said bluntly.

"You don't know what it is yet?"

"I don't care. Send me back to sleep."

"You are asleep."

"You know what I mean," I said, actually growling a little.

His lazy expression hardened a little and grew serious. "Rose, I need to talk to you."

I groaned. "Can't it wait until morning!?" I exclaimed, throwing my arms in the air.

"No." was the simple but heavy reply.

I stopped pacing and looked towards him. "What's wrong?" I asked, taking in his uncharacteristically serious countenance and tone.

He paused before speaking. "I know what you asked Lissa to do."

I narrowed my eyes. "So?"

"She can't do it."

I laughed. "And that's for you to decide?"

He remained unaffected. "She can't do it."

"She agreed, of her own accord I might add."

"Rose, she can't do it." He said.

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Spirit has its downsides."

"The darkness, I know," I interjected.

"You don't, Rose," Adrian said. "Do you know why I keep my power numbed?"

I tensed. "She has me."

Adrian smiled. "Rose, this isn't some cut or broken ankle. This is bigger."

"She brought me from the dead…" I pointed out.

"And how long did it take her to recover!?" Adrian exclaimed. "You may think that this is just a simple fix, but it is not. And it is made all the worse by her recent exposure to it with our repeated training sessions and that Mână bullshit, which, I need not remind you, nearly sent her over the edge."

I felt my heartbeat quicken. "What are you saying, Adrian…?"

"I am saying," he said, meeting my eyes, "that trying to heal Belikov in the state she is in now would drain her completely - she could go beyond sanity's threshold and not come back."