As promised, more mayhem from the Winter Palace. Warning, some awkward smut ahead. Cheers!

Cluster of Something that Begins with F

Melusine pushed away from the bay windows, "Fuck me." There was no way down that wouldn't alert half the fucking palace of their presence here. Her eyes darted around the room, quickly taking in all the possible nooks and crannies they could hide in—there were none—before her eyes fell back on her bald, elven apostate companion. "Can't you magicy magic us out of here?"

"No," Solas spoke in a hushed voice from the door where his eyes continued to track the guard he'd reported moving in their direction, "that is not how my 'magicy magic' works. I suggest you prepare yourself for either innovative smooth talking or a fight." He shut the door and faced her, "Because we have approximately one minute before they open that door."

Melusine's eyes traveled once more over the contents of the room: bookshelves and shelving units full of trophies, a few uncomfortable-looking expensive chairs, one settee, a large wooden desk, and another uncomfortable chair behind it. This area of the palace was off-limits to regular guests so, reasonably, why would the pair of them come HERE of all places if not for the spy shit they'd been doing?

"Come here," Melusine pulled at her belt buckle and quickly unbuttoned her shirt, "I have an idea." Solas watched her movements with curiosity but thankfully didn't hesitate, stopping only shy of where she stood by the desk. Melusine nodded toward his clothing, "Unbutton your coat and drop your trousers." Solas' eyes widened as, without warning, Melusine pulled open her coat, untied the lacings of her shirt, and pulled the front of it open, nearly revealing both breasts at the same time that she hopped up on the desk and spread her legs wide.

"Why would I-"

Melusine growled as she pulled him forward, hauling him against her as she wrapped both legs around his waist and hooked her ankles. It surprised her, how deft her fingers were with unbuttoning his jacket while he, without further question, worked at his belt and trousers. They both heard the door rattle just as his trousers hit the ground. His arms were like vice grips around her as he sealed his lips against hers without further ado. Both of their eyes were open at first, both of them wide at the odd sensation of kissing someone they would never have imagined kissing, but when they heard the door open, Melusine closed her eyes and feigned a sound of pleasure. As the voices of the guards sounded in the room, Solas increased the pressure of his lips and strength of his embrace. He bent her backward, one hand tangling in her hair and tugging her head up, while the other anchored on her hip.

"What the bloody-"

"Hey!"

Both guards spoke at once, and Melusine made an uncharacteristic yelping sound as she broke the kiss and ducked her head, hiding it in Solas' shoulder. Solas kept his arms around her, seemingly to shield her nudity from view, as he turned to look over his shoulder.

"How may I help you, gentlemen?"

One guard cleared his throat, "This area is off-limits to guests. Including those from the Inquisition."

"Yeah," the other one sounded equally as uncomfortable with the situation, "we'll need you two to, uh, get dressed, and, uh, get out."

Solas nodded, "Very well. If you would please give us a moment," he tipped his head toward Melusine, "we will remove ourselves from the premises."

The guards looked at one another, one giving the other a questioning look and receiving a shrug in response.

"All right then," the first guard moved through the door, his hand on the doorknob, "we'll be right outside to escort you back to the festivities."

"Thank you."

Melusine waited until the door was closed before she let out the breath she'd been holding. She leaned her forehead against Solas' chest and allowed the amusement at the situation to leak out in a soft laugh. Solas still hadn't let go, which surprised her, but neither had she. Melusine lowered her legs off his hips and pulled her hands from his shoulder and neck, bracing both palms on the desk. Solas was staring at her strangely, but Melusine was sure she had an equally strange expression on her face. She'd never really looked at the elf as a sexual being before, though yes, she was aware of his gender and ability to perform in the bedroom, theoretically. Now, having the taste of him still in her mouth, feeling his sinewy muscular arms around her, and sharing a warm embrace with him, Melusine couldn't help but be aware of him in a new way.

"That was," Solas' lips tugged at the edges as if he were fighting a smile, "a brilliant ploy, Inquisitor. One might think you were more accustomed to breaking and entering than you made us believe."

Melusine rolled her eyes, and playfully pushed him away, "I couldn't think of any other reasonable reason for us to be here." She whispered, aware of the guards just outside. "Sorry you had to suffer through that, but thanks for playing along without a fight."

"On the contrary," Solas was quick at righting his clothing and picking up his hat from off the floor, "I found our little escapade enlightening."

"Oh?"

Solas nodded, and he surprised perhaps both of them when he reached out and tucked some of her wayward hair behind her ear. He quickly dropped his hand and settled his expression into one of amused neutrality, "I am not much experienced with intimacy outside of my own race. This encounter was most," he looked over her shoulder as he thought, "educational." His smile was annoyingly demure when he refocused his gaze on her.

"Whatever." Melusine finished fixing her clothing before checking her secret pocket. The document was still there, the reason they'd been caught. "Let's get this to Leliana. She better be able to do something with it after all this."

"Yes," Solas chuckled at her side, "it would be a shame to repeat this ploy in every secret room of the palace."

Melusine cursed, hearing Solas laugh behind her, before pasting a fake smile on her face and approaching the door.