Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)

RPOV

Killian O'Hara.

He stood before me, paralyzed and cold. His tall frame flickered in and out of focus like the mere vestige he was. His light brown hair seemed darker, shorter even, and I could not make out its distinctive copper glow; his features appeared sterner - gone was his usual light-hearted and friendly smile in place of pain and fear.

For my part, I remained frozen in shock, the searing pain numbed by the horror I felt upon seeing him before me. I watched as he reached out his hand; it trembled as it seemed that small action took all he had left in him. He opened his mouth, a croaking groan escaping from his lips, but embedded in it came the words: "Help me."

And like thunder, the pain was back, and I was shoved off the bed and to the ground, landing with a tremendous thump upon my knees. Killian had gone and I cried out as the pain built in my head. From a vague state of consciousness, a light flickered on and once the pain had subsided, I found myself looking into the panicked expression of Dimitri Belikov.

"Roza, come back to me..." he murmured, cradling me against his chest and against his thumping heart.

I cried out again, but with the pain slowly dissipating, it came out a moan. Within a moment, it had gone completely, and I found myself fully conscious.

But still shit scared.

"Killian..." I said, jumping to my feet and powering towards where my clothes had been abandoned on the floor, rather unwittingly shoving Dimitri out of the way.

He didn't seem in the least bit concerned about being tossed aside and was rather more worried about my perceived state of insanity. "Rose, what is it?"

I shoved my leg into my leggings. "Killian, he's…" dead. I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. Instead, I fought back my grief and barked a command. "Get dressed. We need to find Guardian O'Hara, now."

I had never sounded so formal, but my tone certainly got Dimitri moving. I don't think I had ever seen anyone get dressed so quickly, even with the advantage of perfect eyesight. Within seconds we were out of the room and on our way to Killian's dorm. I didn't actually know where it was, but thankfully Dimitri knew the number and I was away in a heartbeat, with Dimitri running behind me. I blasted through the corridors, not caring for the noise or commotion I was making, until I reached his room and skidded to a halt, Dimitri not far behind. The door was locked. I wasted not a moment waiting for Dimitri to catch up; taking a step back, I ploughed my foot at the lock and the door swung open. I ran in, smashed on the light and was halted by the sight I saw...

"Holy mother of God!" came the frightened and shocked reply of a very startled and very topless Killian O'Hara.

What the hell...?

"You're alive!?" came the blurted and screeched reply from my lips as Dimitri, now in the room, felt around in the empty space where the door had been.

Killian staggered on his feet having leapt out of his bed upon both the sound and sight of my intrusion. "Of course I'm alive! Though, I can hardly believe it myself," he said, panting heavily and raising his hand to his heaving chest. "Oh, heavens above…" he exhaled, attempting to control his breathing.

"Rose, what is going on…" Dimitri asked, frowning, and fruitlessly turning his head as he tried to find anything that resembled a reasonable answer.

I too was searching for anything that resembled a reasonable answer but found myself entirely lost for both words and thoughts. "I-I saw you…"

I don't think he heard me, but Killian - now passed the initial fright - tried to ground himself and began to take in his surroundings. "Did you kick my door in?"

Dimitri, giving the poor man a little space to recover, took a step towards me. "Rose…" he said softly and without rebuke. "What happened? What did you see?"

I, still paralyzed by my own shock, found myself incapable of forming anything more than just: "I saw him…"

At that moment, a large commotion was heard outside. The murmur of confused and tired voices echoed through the open door, only to be silenced by the authority of one.

"What is the meaning of this?" Alberta's authoritative voice towered above all others. "Must I remind you that you are members of staff and not a group of gawking students?" I heard her reprimanded before catching sight of her at the door. "What is going-Miss Hathaway!?"

I could hardly even begin to imagine what she must have thought upon seeing the chaotic scene that was presented before her. I was still recovering from seeing Killian's ghostly form, and his being alive had only made it worse. Killian too was at a complete loss having been more or less frightened half to death out of his bed.

Thankfully, there was one person who seemed to be in a stable enough condition.

"I do apologize Guardian Petrov: rumours of a serious threat made upon Guardian O'Hara here reached Miss Hathaway and she came to me as to inquire what to do. We arrived in haste, the door was locked and, given the perceived severity of the situation, was opened by means of force." Dimitri conveyed in such a calm and collected manner that I would have given him a damned Oscar for his trouble.

Alberta's eyes widened. "A serious threat? What do you mean by this?"

"It was a false alarm," Dimitri replied promptly.

Alberta looked between the three of us, paused out of either bewilderment or just the disorientation of being woken up at two o'clock, and nodded. "Right," she said, taking a step back, her gaze glancing down to the broken door fragments scattered across Killian's floor. "We shall deal with this later. For now, let us all head back to bed. Guardian Belikov, I trust you can handle Miss Hathaway."

He nodded. "Of course, Guardian Petrov."

She nodded again and backed out of the room, stepping around the splintered pieces with her bare feet and tightening her dressing gown around her. She left and began ushering the lingering guardians back into their rooms. I staggered back behind me to fall against Killian's desk, thankful for the uniform nature of the academy's guardian dorms which meant that the desk was exactly where I thought it would be. My confused gaze remained fixed on Killian. He too was looking at me as if had three heads, but all I kept seeing was that deathly image - those eyes so pained and so helpless that it shattered my very being upon very sight.

"Does anyone want to fill me in?" Killian said after recollecting his wits, his hands resting on his hips.

Help me.

I felt a chill run down my spine, and I found myself incapable of saying anything more than: "I saw you…"

Killian frowned, a degree of anger seeping in. "You saw me what?"

Dimitri, having made sure everyone had gone, moved his way towards me, but unsure of my exact location, kept his distance. "Rose, what did you see?"

I blinked and looked up at Killian. "I saw your ghost."

Killian's eyes widened and he seemed momentarily speechless, only managing to utter a meaningless: "I-I…"

Dimitri, however, remained the picture of composure in the room as he frowned and took a step closer. "You saw Killian's ghost…?" He asked slowly and carefully.

I nodded, still fixed on Killian. "I thought...I thought you were dead."

Killian, for his part, now just looked even more angry. "You thought I was dead!?" He spluttered.

"Guardian O'Hara-"

"No, Belikov!" Killian cut Dimitri off much to the surprise of both Dimitri and I. "I have had one heck of an evening," he said, his voice raised. "It was a long day that culminated in finding out that ghosts and resurrections and other shit like it Rose here claims 'apparently' exist and now I am woken up because she thought someone had murdered me in my sleep!"

Well, that was certainly a slap in the face.

"Guardian O'Hara." Dimitri snapped. "Kindly, calm yourself down: have a glass of water and take a seat." he turned to me. "And Rose, do not say a word." I clamped my mouth shut and obeyed. Killian looked like he wanted to argue some more, but instead swallowed his fire and sat down in his armchair, forgoing the water. Dimitri inhaled deeply before speaking again. "Right, Guardian O'Hara: I would like to apologize on behalf of Rose and myself for disrupting you this evening, particularly in light of the context of the situation. Please know, I would not have allowed this to happen if I did not trust Rose explicitly nor if I believed that her concern was not genuine."

Killian nodded, the act of looking down causing him to remember he was not in a shirt. After a moment of characteristic flustering, he folded his arms over his chest. "Thank you, Guardian Belikov."

Dimitri nodded and then turned to me. "Now, Rose: please can you explain exactly what it was you saw."

I hesitated, going over every moment of the event that had snatched me from my sleep. Had I been mistaken? Surely not - it was Killian: he was my bloody babysitter, I knew exactly what he looked like. It could not have been any clearer.

I didn't understand this in the slightest. How could I? I wasn't even supposed to be seeing ghosts in the Academy - weren't the wards were supposed to keep them out? That was yet another mystery of the entire thing. I honestly could feel myself breaking - what on earth was going on!?

"I don't understand…" I whispered, burying my head in my palms.

Through my fingers, I saw Dimitri step forward and reach his hand across my arm, pulling it down and lifting my head up. "Try."

I sighed. "I saw Killian," I said. "Or at the very least, someone who looks pretty much identical to you," I said directing my eye-line towards the man in question.

Killian, with arms still folded across his chest, continued to look both sceptical and a little bit pissed. "As a ghost?" he said, the disbelief clear in his tone.

"Yes, so I thought you were dead," I replied, still very shaky over the notion.

Killian frowned. "I still don't-"

"O'Hara," Dimitri gently interrupted, rising and turning to face in his direction. "I know it is a lot to ask, but could suspend your disbelief for a moment?"

He looked up, amazed. "You believe her?"

"Entirely."

His eyes widened. "On what grounds?"

"I didn't at first," Dimitri assured a little too frankly. "But there is a lot about this world that we don't understand and Rose here, for all her faults, is not a liar. The reason we knew where the Strigoi were on the night of the Cave Attack was because of this ability to see ghosts."

"Mason told me," I said, really without thinking.

Killian looked over towards me. "Mason Ashford?"

I nodded. "As I said before, I've seen him a lot lately. And Andre Dragomir. And others, but I don't know who they are. Being shadow-kissed meant that I technically died, and I don't think I've been fully separated from that world."

I saw his face soften, the anger long gone, and I felt a degree of relief seeing him so normal, but there was a light fear in his expression. "But you saw me? Does that mean...I'm going to die?"

I blinked. "Ah, no - that - I don't think so."

That didn't help.

Dimitri elected to bail us both out. "Are you absolutely sure it was Guardian O'Hara?"

The ghostly face flashed in my vision again. "Yes. I mean, you think I would know. He did look like you, darker hair, maybe taller, but that might just…" I trailed off as I saw Killian's face and went silent.

Dimitri, somewhat at a disadvantage, frowned at the silence that had fallen upon the room. "What it is?"

What he could not see was how all the colour had drained from Killian's face; he sat like a waxwork - frozen in one fearful position. "Did he have one leg?" the words slipped from his lips a broken plea as his voice cracked and water began collecting in his eyes.

The image flashed before me again. I tried to recall every detail: how he staggered about, trying to move; his face; his arms; his body. Yet he was obscured and hazy as a creature of the Shadow World by nature was. The darkness that often descended upon me was enclosed and enveloped around him and the darkness of Dimitri's room meant that I could only clearly see his face and only that because I made a conscious effort to. "I don't know...maybe…why do you-?"

"Rose..." Dimitri's voice came in like a small tap on my shoulder, cutting me off.

A tear dropped down from Killian's face as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't think it was me you saw."

I frowned. "Then who?"

He reopened his eyes. "My brother."

My eyes widened. Well, shit. "Your brother…"

Killian shook his head, wiping away his grief by means of a weak laugh. "We were always told we looked alike."

"Killian, I am so sorry - I didn't mean…"

He shook his head again. "No, I know," he said. "It's just a little raw: Paddy was my best mate. We thought we could do anything," he said with a pained smile.

And it was then it hit me.

'Paddy' - short for Patrick. A one-legged Guardian.

Rose, get your head out of the sand: there is a chance that this won't work and you know it. Disabled guardians aren't common for a reason. My aunt knew a guy, Patrick I think his name was. Anyway, it was at some conference a couple of years back and this guardian lost his leg in the attack that occurred. They stitched him up okay but sent him home. He couldn't fight. He wanted to, but he couldn't. And worse still, he couldn't accept that and nor could his buddies. They brought him right back, gave him a prosthetic, and even got his brother to help him train, but when they were under attack again, that prosthetic broke and he was killed.

Patrick. Patrick O'Hara.

Christian's words came right back at me. How many one-legged Patrick's were there in the Guardian world? And how many of them had a brother willing and able to adapt common training exercises to be more accommodating? It was suddenly perfectly clear why Killian had offered to help Dimitri with only a little hesitation - it wasn't just that he was a nice guy, but this was personal to him. Perhaps it was even why he was at St. Vladimir's in the first place: it couldn't be a complete coincidence that he was working within the vicinity of both Christian and Tasha while his brother was a personal guardian for the family.

I suddenly felt even worse for waking him up with this.

"Was he in the pain that you described the others in?" Killian asked, breaking me out of my own thoughts.

I bit my lip and nodded. "I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, there was a seed of determination planted within their verdant depths. "Okay, do we know what it is that is causing this torture?" he asked.

I saw Dimitri's expression change to one of surprise and held a similar response. "No," I said, casting a cautious look towards Killian. It was clear that this had hit a nerve. I did not know if Killian fully believed me, but I could see he was not willing to take the chance. Indeed, all pretence of objectivity was out the window as the Irishman before me now held a personal investment in what was going on.

"But it's affecting everyone?" he asked, continuing his inquisition.

"That I've seen, yeah," I replied.

He nodded. "Has anything like this happened before?"

"The headaches have been there before, but the pain was only my own. Never theirs - pain being unique among the living." I said, thinking back.

At this, I saw a recognition in his eyes. "Father Andrew...you asked whether ghosts could feel pain…" he said with a slight smile. Shaking his head, he sighed and flopped back against his chair.

"Then it is coming from this world." Dimitri's voice caught both of our attention. "The source of the discomfort, that is."

"Do you think someone is doing it?" There was a slight venom in Killian's tone which I had never heard and, frankly, it unsettled me to my core.

"Or something," I said in an attempt to diffuse the mood.

"Either way, it needs to stop," Dimitri said absolutely. "And not just for your sake," he said, turning his head towards me.

I nodded, glancing towards Killian who was understandably still looking a little raw on the situation such that he wasn't even trying to hide it from his face. "It has to be something to do with Spirit," I said.

"Like before?" Dimitri asked.

I managed to resist blushing at the thought of what had happened before, or more specifically what happened after. "Yeah."

"But hadn't Lissa stopped?" Killian asked, frowning towards me.

I sighed. "Yeah, she has - but it isn't coming from Lissa. Definitely not."

"How so?" Killian said as Dimitri raised an eyebrow at my tone.

"Because alcohol numbs the magic," I said. Killian nodded with contemplation while Dimitri just looked alarmed. "Yeah, I know. I'm working on it." I said, mirroring my beloved's concern. "But I guess that rules out Adrian too."

"For sure." Killian scoffed, though I was not entirely sure he meant to.

Dimitri didn't look so convinced. "Maybe not: after all, he still came to see me."

"Come again?" Killian said, shooting his head up towards Dimitri.

"Oh, no - Adrian dreamwalks." I clarified.

Killian looked mildly horrified. "Of course he does."

"My point being, and I regret saying it, he might actually be able to help. I shall ask him about it if he does it again." Dimitri said.

"Or if not, I'll pester him in person," I said with a grin. Dimitri smiled.

Killian looked between us. "Ah, nice to see I'm not the only one who finds him slightly intolerable."

I scoffed. "Slightly - that's an understatement."

He frowned. "What?"

I chuckled. "Oh, you hate him."

He scowled. "I do not hate him."

"Oh yeah, you do. You hate him, Hazza, but you are too polite to say it."

His scowl deepened, but under his irritation, I could see a glimmer of amusement which frankly made it worth it. "Getting back to the point…"

"Indeed," Dimitri said, shooting me an expression that told me to behave. "So there must be another Spirit user in the Academy."

"Who though?" I asked. "Have there been many transfers?"

"What, after the attack? Loads." Killian said with a hint of a scoff. "Moroi just as much as Dhampir."

Dimitri nodded. "I'll try and bring Guardian Petrov in on this, particularly after tonight," he said gesturing to the non-existent door behind him. "The truth might be best in this instance."

"Yeah…" I said, taking a long look at the extent of the damage. I turned back to Killian with a grimace. "Sorry about that."

He shook his head. "It's fine," he assured. "I grew up in a barn - I can handle the draft," he said, a sad smile easing its way onto his tired and grief-sodden face. "Would you mind if we continued this later? I do think we should probably get at least some sleep."

"That's probably wise," I said, glancing at the clock. I suspected this was slightly more than just fatigue but I wasn't about to press it.

Dimitri too seemed of a similar stance. "Yes, we shall deal with this in the morning. I'll sort everything with Guardian Petrov."

Killian nodded. "Thank you," he said rising out of the chair as Dimitri positioned himself to walk towards the door.

I got up to follow Dimitri out of the room but halted and turned back to Killian. "Killian, I am truly sorry about this. I didn't mean for this to hurt you, or…"

He nodded. "I know, Rose. But my not knowing about it wouldn't mean it wasn't still happening. In a way, it could've made it worse." he said, looking down for a moment. "I loved - still love - my brother and I lay him to rest in peace..." he said before looking up at me in the eye, determined and with a hint of venom. "So, in peace, he shall rest, and I'll be damned if I find it otherwise."

The next few weeks saw a mixed range of progress. Rather notably, Guardian Petrov had been brought up to speed with things; obviously, she wasn't wholly convinced by the idea of ghosts and spiritual realms, but she did extend us the courtesy of the benefit of the doubt along with the files of recent transfers. Irritably, neither Dimitri nor Killian would allow me to look at the files as it was technically, you guessed it, against protocol.

Bloody protocol.

Regardless of my thoughts on the matter or my attempts at persuasion, they weren't having it and I wasn't allowed in on the reading of the student's files. Whilst I wasn't exactly pleased at being booted out, it did give me one less thing to do which allowed me to focus on other issues.

Namely, Lissa.

"Where's Lissa?" I asked, dumping my tray on the cafeteria table.

Christian's response was a cacophony of verbal and 'other' related noise as he scoffed out a: "where do you think?"

I sighed and slumped down beside him with Eddie and Adrian opposite and Killian by the wall. During these few weeks, I had updated my friends on the situation. Well, most of them. I had hardly seen Lissa and when I had, she had always been somewhere else mentally. She and Avery seemed inseparable these days and from the bond, I knew the stuff they were getting up to was hardly what you would call good. Having once been the proud bearer of a perfect reputation, Lissa Dragomir was now sharing with Avery Lazar the one for being the 'go to' for trouble, in every sense of the word; the frequent intoxicating post-curfew parties were just the tip of the iceberg. Meanwhile, Christian and I had been very much side-lined. Neither of us were taking it particularly well, but it seemed that neither of us could do anything about it which only made us more bitter.

"I'm sure she'll come around." Eddie offered.

"No offence, mate, but you've been saying that for weeks now," I said, tearing a bite out of my sandwich.

"You can't push her, little dhampir." Adrian said. "Nor, apparently, can you politely eat that sandwich…"

I glared up at him. "Bite me." I hissed with a mouthful of food.

Adrian grinned. "Tempting…" he said, wriggling his eyebrows.

"You are both disgusting," Christian muttered, shuffling a little further away from me as I took another bite and made a point of eating as loudly as possible. "Anyway, I don't think Lissa's the problem here," he said glaring towards the canteen entrance as Avery Lazar sauntered in, surprisingly without Lissa. She stopped to talk to two primped-up girls walking out of the canteen.

I felt my face fall into a scowl. "If you want to stop the poison, kill the snake." I stabbed the salad on my plate with my fork.

Eddie seemed a little taken aback while Adrian found the whole thing bloody amusing. "Now, now, little dhampir - let's tone it down a little."

"No, she's hit the nail on the head there," Christian said.

"We aren't talking about actual murder, right?" Eddie asked, a little on edge.

"You know, I don't think Avery is entirely to blame here," Adrian said, turning back after Avery left with the two girls.

My glare switched to his face. "She is the literal source of the issue."

"You're just saying that because she has that ridiculous crush on you," Christian grumbled, also glaring at the Ivashkov.

Adrian shrugged. "She was forced into this just as much as everyone else. Personally, I don't completely blame her for wanting to make the best of it."

I scoffed. "So it's Tatiana's fault."

He laughed. "Ah, my aunt is responsible for a lot of things, but I don't think we can hold her accountable for this one."

"Really?"

"Really." He affirmed. A frown formed on his face as his tone elevated its severity. "Frankly, I think the answer is obvious."

"Of course you do," Christian muttered.

Adrian scowled. "Yes, I do. And if you two weren't so intent on blaming everyone else, you might actually pause for a moment of self-evaluation."

Eddie coughed on his drink while Christian and I simultaneously looked up at Adrian. "You what, mate?" Christian said.

Adrian folded his arms, not backing down. "Can you seriously not see it? You two have been haven't exactly been model friends to Lissa."

We continued to glare at him.

He sighed. "Oh, come on now: Rose, you have spent pretty much all your time with Belikov and the jolly leprechaun here and when you're not with them, it's all you talk about. Lissa tried to help, but you essentially pushed her out-"

"You told me too!" I reminded him, getting quite angry.

He shot me a pointed look. "I told you to stop her using magic; I did not tell you to push her out completely. And you've just been acting like a winging five-year-old over literally nothing," he said turning to Christian.

"Watch it, Ivashkov." He growled.

He scowled. "My point exactly. But while you two have been so focused on your own issues, neither of you seems to have noticed what Lissa is going through. With everything that happened after her encounter with Spirit's darkness and then the attack, Lissa has been feeling so helpless. Added to this is my dear aunt's attempts to integrate Lissa into royal culture, which is not really doing anything to diffuse the situation. Lissa has been hurting a lot, but feels she can't talk about it to you in light of Belikov's situation," he said looking at me, "and she can't talk to you about her problems because she's too busy trying to pull you out of your own." he said looking at Christian. "So, honestly, I don't blame her for wanting to hang about with Avery: Avery is giving Lissa a way of coping with her own pain and since no other alternative is available, she has taken it," he concluded.

A heavy and very awkward silence befell the table. Not even Christian uttered a flippant response to that as we both sat in the horrible realisation that he was completely right.

"Shit," I muttered, pushing what remained of my lunch away as my appetite dissipated as my guilt grew. It was a sick irony for I had been so focused on the pain of the Shadow World that I hadn't noticed it in the world of living. Oh, Lissa. Forgive me.

Adrian offered a small smile. For all his antics and somewhat brutal approach, he wasn't heartless and didn't make any quip as Christian silently and solemnly got up and left. "It's alright, Rose. None of us are perfect," he said. "Heck, I'll bet even the babysitter has slipped up with someone he loves."

I cast a wary glance towards Killian with flashes of his brother's ghostly form springing to my mind and I suspected to his. I half expected him to be shooting daggers at Adrian, but his expression held its usual caring softness as he gave me a short but reassuring nod. "I'll talk to Lissa," I said turning back, thinking aloud more than anything else; I was not willing to lose her over my own selfishness.

"Sorry to be so blunt," Adrian said.

"No, you were right."

He grinned, "I know. I was just saying that to make you feel better."

I looked at him deadpan. "Thanks."

"So…" Eddie's voice came in over the heavy tone. I honestly felt a little bad for him as he had sat there in awkward silence whilst Adrian had given Christian and I a proper dressing down. "Have you done the homework for Stan?" he asked.

I smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. "What'd you think?"

He smiled. "Don't worry, you can copy me."

"I wouldn't say that in front of the babysitter…" Adrian said.

I scowled. "Leave Hazza alone, Ivashkov."

Adrian chuckled, smirking over at Killian. "I am afraid it is just too easy, little dhampir. He cannot do anything to hurt me."

At this, I heard a slight scoff come from the ordinarily stoic Killian and I felt a smile creep onto my face. "I wouldn't count on it."

At this, conversation fell back into normality - well, normal for us at least. Christian didn't come back, but we weren't too worried; I think he just needed some time and a bit of space and that was fair enough. After an inconclusive discussion on when it was socially acceptable to start talking about Christmas (bearing in mind it was the middle of bloody April), it was just about time for classes to start, but I was halted from leaving my seat by a forceful object.

A hand.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt its contact with my shoulder. The situation wasn't at all alleviated when I turned to see whose hand it was.

Reed Lazar.

"What the-"

"I see them..." he said, his voice broken and his eyes wide and frantic.

"Reed, you alright, buddy?" Adrian asked, stepping towards us.

Reed's eyes remained locked on mine as his hand trembled against my shoulder. "I see them. They were too young...too young…"

I was now seriously disturbed. "Right..."

His grip tightened and I winced a little in response. "They w-w-want…they want..."

"Mr Lazar," Killian's voice came in over Reed's spluttering, "could you take a step back please," he said, pushing slightly on his chest. Reed's grip loosened and eventually fell away from my shoulder. He clutched that hand with his other and bit his lip, shaking for a moment longer before he stilled. His expression calmed in an instant and his quivering form straightened. He looked at us all blankly before frowning. "What you looking at? Jesus did no one ever tell you it's fucking rude to stare," he muttered before shaking his head and walking away.

Killian, somewhat in spite of the comment, continued to stare baffled at the boy as he strolled through the crowd as normally as any other student. Eddie too could not get his head around it and occupied a similar position to Killian.

I, however, was having a day of revelations and one look at Adrian confirmed everything I suspected:

Reed Lazar was shadow-kissed.