The next morning, Darth Vader entered Luke's room and found he was still asleep.
"Luke."
"Hm?"
Vader nudged the boy on the shoulder. "Luke, wake up."
Luke grumbled under his breath and turned his head to the side and tiredly murmured, "Please, Father, can I just sleep for a while?"
"Luke..."
Through his red lenses, the dark lord was still able to tell that something was different about Luke's appearance from when he saw the boy last night. His hair was a mess and it wasn't just from sleeping on it.
"Luke, what did you do?"
Luke turned his head the other way and buried it in his pillow, "I got a shower last night."
"You...how?" Vader wanted to know.
That had actually been something Vader had been grappling with, how to approach, let alone handle, the issue of if Luke couldn't walk, he was going to need help to get to the fresher and clean up.
Luke turned his head back and looked at his father as he answered, "I crawled."
Behind the red lenses, Vader's eyes widened in shock. "You, crawled?"
The word sat wrong with the dark lord. Since Luke had learned to stand upright and walk, he didn't crawl, his son didn't crawl. Such a concept for someone his age was tantamount to groveling, and his son did not grovel.
Luke looked at him and said poignantly, "I don't want to be a burden."
"Luke...you are not a burden."
Luke added, "I don't want anyone looking at me like that again."
That took any and all argument out of Vader. He could certainly understand Luke's mindset there. In truth he had struggled with the exact same thought while trying to come up with a solution. Even if the human members of the palace staff weren't brought in to assist, he wasn't sure it was a job the droids were capable of doing themselves, and even though Luke knew they weren't actually sentient, it didn't change the fact he didn't like them watching him anymore than people.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Luke shook his head, "I couldn't sleep...I figured, you wouldn't even have to know..." he moved around under the covers as best he could without the use of his legs, "Any other time I could walk in, get a shower, get dressed, and be done in 20 minutes...crawling into the fresher, crawling into the shower, crawling back in here, getting back in bed...it took almost two hours..." his eyes self consciously rolled up as if they could actually see what he was trying to look at as he admitted, "I couldn't reach my brush."
That's what was different. And of course it made sense. Since Luke had first learned how to use the Force, he'd realized he could use it to gain access to small things out of his reach. But he never did, even as a young child he'd decided that the Force was too important to waste on such trivial matters. And even now it wouldn't occur to his son to do otherwise.
Without a word, Vader entered the fresher, picked up Luke's hairbrush off of the sink's counter and returned to the bedroom. Luke held a hand out to take the brush but Vader instead propped Luke up against the pillows and reached down and brushed through his mess of wild and tangled blonde hair, something he hadn't done for a long time; the last time he did Luke's hair was a brighter, paler blonde, thinner, fuzzier, behind his mask he smiled melancholically as he thought just how many years it had actually been since Luke was so small, innocent, full of life, happy, safe, protected...
Vader pressed his other gloved hand against some more unruly parts of Luke's hair that refused to lay down just because it had been brushed back. Finally Luke looked like his normal self again.
"Thank you," he looked up at his father.
"Luke..." Vader truly felt at a loss. "If you need help, tell me. I know you value your independence," he always had, since he found out he could take two steps without holding his father's hand, he'd taken off running and never looked back, "but right now you can't do everything on your own."
"I can't do anything on my own," Luke said. "I'm useless."
"That is not true."
The medics had showed Vader the exercises Luke would need to do to try and regain the use of his legs. The woman medic had been adamant that it was all caused by Luke's subconscious, however since he believed there was a genuine problem with his legs, he had to believe he was receiving real treatment for it in order to make progress.
Vader started by gently cupping one of Luke's feet in both of his gloved hands. As he did so he couldn't help remembering for a brief moment how tiny that foot had been when Luke was a baby, he'd been able to hold it between two fingers back then. Where the hell had the time gone?
"Can you feel this?"
Luke nodded.
Vader stood over Luke's bed where he lay and slowly worked his way up from Luke's foot, to his ankle, up his leg, his knee, and to his thigh, lightly kneading and massaging the flesh and muscles as he went; through his neurotransmitters he could feel an occasional pulse and the tautness of muscles and tendons. For no more than he could actually feel through his prosthetics, everything appeared to be in working order. Each time he moved his hands to another part of Luke's leg he asked the boy if he could feel it, every time Luke nodded, and it was the same when Vader switched sides and started with the other foot and worked his way up. He could feel his legs, but so far he couldn't get them to work. Vader supposed that that was a start anyway.
Once that was established, Vader grabbed Luke's leg above the ankle, bent his knee, grabbed his leg just above the knee and stretched his leg back so his knee was to his chest. Luke's upper body squirmed and he grunted slightly in discomfort but otherwise he didn't fight his father. After subjecting one leg to a series of such exercises to stretch both the muscles and the nerves, Vader laid that leg flat, bent the other knee and repeated the process on the other side. Once that was done he grabbed Luke's leg above the ankle, bent his knee, flexed his toes, and raised his leg with his knee bent several times, then put it down, straightened the leg, and raised it straight up, then gradually inched it further back at an angle until Luke's body's natural resistance kicked in and his leg couldn't be extended any further.
"Very good," he concluded after repeating the same movements with the other leg, and easing it back down on the bed.
"You really think this is going to work, Father?" Luke asked like he didn't dare hope.
"The medics said it will," he answered. "You just need to be patient. Now, is there anything you need?"
Luke shook his head.
"Very well." Vader grabbed the corner of Luke's blanket and drew it up over the boy. "You rest and I will check on you later."
Luke nodded glumly as he pulled the blanket up over his shoulders. "Thank you, Father."
Luke fell face first on the floor, banging up his already bruised legs once again.
He banged his fist against the floor repeatedly before actually pulling his face out of the carpet.
"I hate this!" he exclaimed in frustration, "I can't do it! This is so stupid!"
He sensed as much as actually saw the figure in black kneeling down beside him through the corner of his eye. He felt his father's durasteel hand calmly patting him on the back.
"You must be patient, Luke," Darth Vader told him. "You didn't learn to walk in one day when you were a child, there's no reason it would be any quicker now."
Luke's eyes burned with tears and his throat was swollen with more of them. He knew he was just feeling sorry for himself but he felt he was entitled to do so as he curled his upper body into a ball and told his father, "I hate this!"
"I know..."
Luke looked up at his father from a tilted angle, he saw the black leather glove reaching for him, he closed his eyes as he felt it against his skin, felt it brush away the tears rolling down his face. He opened his eyes again and saw those red lenses staring down at him.
"I can't do it," he said.
"Yes you can," his father's modulated voice told him, "get up, we'll try again."
Luke shook his head, "I can't, I'm just going to fall again."
"You will not fall," Vader responded, "give me your hands."
Luke didn't get it, he really didn't, but he did as he was told. His father grabbed Luke's hands in his and slowly stood up, pulling his son with him.
Luke felt his feet actually touch the floor but his legs started to go out from under him and his body sagged against his father, but he realized he wasn't falling. He wasn't able to stand on his own feet, but he wasn't falling down again.
"Now," Vader said as he took a step back, maintaining his grip on Luke's hands, "find your balance, and step towards me."
Luke shook his head again, "This is stupid, Father."
"Just try it."
Luke pressed his feet to the floor, he felt them slipping under him so he stiffened his legs to stand straight and rigid. Once he actually did though, he felt like he couldn't move, or he'd surely fall flat on his face again.
For a brief second he felt like his mind had gone completely blank. Forget muscle memory, it was like he'd forgotten how to do everything. He looked down at his feet and he honestly couldn't even remember right from left, which foot to try stepping forward with, he felt frozen from the waist down.
"Father..."
"Just step towards me, Luke."
He couldn't, he couldn't, but he couldn't tell his father that either. He tried, but his feet stayed right where they were, all that happened was his knees buckled and he felt himself falling against his father.
Vader pulled Luke straight again and told him, "Try again."
Luke looked down at his feet again, feeling that this was an impossible situation. He lifted one foot off the floor, it was only after he did it his brain was able to register it was his left foot. Okay, he got it off the floor, that was part of it, now what? Acting on a blind impulse instead of actual memory, he put his foot back down a few inches further out than it was.
"Very good," his father's modulated voice somehow managed to actually sound calming as he took another step back and told Luke, "try it again."
Luke looked down, as if trying to remember what it was he did, and lifted his right foot off the floor and moved it forward, planting it down a couple inches past his left foot.
Vader moved back again, and in turn Luke took a step forward. Each step was slow and shaky, but after a few more steps they got close to the wall, Vader kept his focus on his son and lightly gripped Luke's hands at arm's length in front of him, but pivoted his body to turn around so Luke had the span of the floor to try again. Luke's eyes were glued to the floor as he watched, almost dumbfounded, as one foot moved, then the other, then one, then the other, almost in disbelief, also fear that if he wasn't watching it, he'd forget how and fall again.
After a couple minutes they'd managed to move across the length of the room and stopped short of the door. Luke was breathing heavily and he felt like he'd just scaled a mountain single-handedly.
"Well done," his father told him as he helped Luke back over to the bed, "rest now, we will try again tomorrow."
Luke's heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his ears. Taking a few steps shouldn't be this hard, he'd done it millions of times over the years without a thought. He closed his eyes as he gasped and wheezed, trying to catch his breath.
"I know this isn't easy for you," Vader said, "but you're doing very well."
"It shouldn't be this hard!" Luke protested, frustrated with himself.
"It will get easier," Vader patted his leg through the blanket, "you must be patient. Now, do you need anything?"
Luke shook his head.
"I will be in to check on you later," his father told him.
As the door slid shut behind him, Vader found himself thinking how indeed this did take him back to when Luke first learned to walk. He was about a year old, he'd found out purely by accident one day he could actually stand up, but that was about all the further he got. He spent a couple weeks just standing, then falling down again. Then one day he stood up and was able to stay there. Then he took his first steps. He promptly fell down, but got up and tried it again, and was overly excited by this new experience. It was a while before he was actually able to master walking more than a couple feet before stumbling, once he accomplished that, his next obstacle was the stairs. He spent the longest time merely crawling up the steps and scooting down them, when he got a little older he learned how to climb up and put both feet on one step, and he did that all the way up, and all the way down. More than once he lost his footing and half fell, half rolled down the stairs. He'd reach the bottom, shaken up but not hurt, and he'd stand up and go about his merry way. Oh how he wished they were back there, it had been a far easier process to get through.
Not for the first time, he wished that Padme was still alive, for so many reasons. Among others, the medic's words still rang in his head, nothing could absolve him of the guilt he felt for his own inadvertent role in Luke's ordeal. The fact that Luke feared his father's reaction worse than the actual attack itself, that sent a cold feeling surging through the remnants of his human body. Just possibly it wouldn't have weighed so heavily on the boy's mind if he'd been able to grow up with both parents and had his mother to help balance things out. While Luke was growing up, Vader's primary concern was that Luke had everything he needed, and was brought up as normal as possible given the circumstances. He had no idea how to be both parents for his son, he could only focus on being Luke's father, which even that he had no experience in and little clue how to do it right, but he'd done the best he could. Thinking about it now, having no family but his father his whole life, it suddenly made sense why Luke was so worried. If he should be right, and for whatever reason his relationship with his father was changed by what he'd been put through, he had no recourse, no other family to turn to, nowhere to go. It hurt him that his son could really think him possible of any such thing, but he supposed he shouldn't be all that surprised. He knew what his reputation to the rest of the galaxy was, he tried to keep that separate from the person that Luke saw every day, but he guessed that could only go so far with the body and the voice he had as a result of his damned life support suit. He'd tried his best to make sure Luke knew he was loved, and that he was always safe with his father, but apparently it hadn't been enough. And until Luke could finally get those facts through his head, it seemed this was how both their days would be spent. It was a process the boy at least seemed to be working through, but he knew they weren't fully there yet. The dark lord shook his head helplessly, if Padme were still alive, Luke wouldn't have any reason to be afraid of her, and as much as he hated to consider the possibility, this tragedy might have actually bonded them further. Maybe it was an oversimplified generalization that women had more experience in this field than men, but there was also a probable truth to it as well. Padme would probably have known how to handle this, what the right things were to say, least of all she could've assured Luke that he had no reason to fear his father's wrath for what was done to him. Even if he didn't fully believe that, he could take comfort in knowing his mother was on his side and he could confide in her.
Early into Luke's life, the dark lord had contemplated the idea his son would be better off with a mother, for all those various reasons, but the thought of remarrying, of another woman taking Padme's place, he just couldn't accept it. He also couldn't trust there was any other woman in the galaxy who could raise Luke as his birth mother would've, and he'd decided Luke would be better off solely raised by his father instead. Vader had had his reasons, some of them selfish and he could admit it at least to himself, but he knew it had also put Luke at a disadvantage. A stepmother, whatever her faults, would've made the boy's life easier than no mother. It truly wasn't fair for Luke that he hadn't had anyone else in his life when he was growing up, no one else who could help him through this ordeal now.