Chapter 5: My Babies, Let Me Show You Them
I always wanted to start my own religion. So I did!
-Kel'Thuzad, Warcraft III
"Good morning Midoriya! Wait, no, good afternoon!"
Groaning, Izuku slowly opened his eyes to see the grinning face of Mei Hatsume hovering just a few inches above his own. "Ugh, good, um, afternoon."
"Yes! Are you ready to make more babies!? I think we can finish the steam engine today! With that, I can generate electricity, which I need to make aluminum babies, and-"
Hatsume's words washed over Izuku for a moment as she excitedly rambled on about her plans for making new inventions. He blinked, frowning, then, suddenly, he remembered.
"Oh God," Izuku whispered, tears filling his eyes. "We died. They're gone. Everyone's gone."
Hatsume paused, frowning at Izuku. "What?"
"I'm sorry," sniffed, rubbing at his eyes. "I just...my mom, All Might, UA, our friends, it's all just...it's gone, Hatsume. We're stuck in another world."
"Oh." Hatsume studied Izuku for a second, then embraced him, giving Izuku a hard enough squeeze that it drove the breath out of his body. "Yes, I am sad too. I will miss my mom, and dad, and sister, and also the two brats, and Mr. Maijima."
"Thank you," Izuku sniffed, crying into Hatsume's shoulder. "I...I'm glad you're here, Hatsume. I know we don't know each other very well, but, I mean, you're a part of home. I hope...I hope Aqua can keep her word, and send us back if we defeat the Lord of the Tomb…"
Hatsume gasped, jerking herself off of Izuku and peering down at him with her odd eyes, which seemed to be zooming in tightly on his face. "Wait, Aqua can send us back?! I thought I was going to have to make a bunch of super cute babies and try to replicate the explosion so that I could send us back! We should just ask her right now!"
Isuku sighed, sighting up and running his hand through his hair. "No, see, she's a goddess or something, but to send us back, first we have to beat the Lord of the Tomb, then she and Megumin will resurrect us, like they promised."
"Megumin did not say that was possible! She simply said she wanted to make explosions and be my friend so we could make super cute babies together!" Hatsume exclaimed. "I thought I would have to figure it out all by myself!"
"Yeah, I mean, I don't know if Aqua can really even do what she said," Izuku admitted. "She didn't know anything about our world. She knew nothing about quirks, or UA, or even All Might. She claimed it was 2016 or something, you know, in the before times."
"Well that is dumb. She does not seem very much like a goddess. I did not believe in gods or goddesses, they seemed like pretend things, and pretend things are boring. I only agreed to come here because going to heaven or being reincarnated ment I would never get to make super cute babies again!" Hatsume ranted.
"Yeah." Izuku smiled at Hatsume, wiping away his tears. "But, we'll figure it out, and get back to our homes, one way or another."
"Yes! Either with weird magic that is not pretend, or with my super cute babies!" Hatsume said, and gave Izuku another excited hug.
That was the point when Izuku realized a few things. The first of which, he was in a bed with a girl. The second was, both he and the girl were wearing very little. In Izuku's case, he had on only a shirt and boxers, while Hatsume had on a sports bra and boy shorts. The third thing was, of course, that the girl in question was very enthusiastically hugging Izuku. Which, combined with the fact that he had just woken up, triggered a rather natural response in a healthy young man.
"S-sorry," Izuku gasped, pushing himself away from Hatsume.
"Why?" Hatsume asked, clearly puzzled. "It is not your fault we died and came to this world. I am very glad that you are here with me! You are very strong, and have lots of nice muscles. I did not think muscles on a boy could be so nice, but I like yours."
"Oh, um, I er, like yours too?" Izuku gasped, trying to wiggle away from Hatsume. If he had learned anything from books and TV, any second now she would slap him, or someone would barge in and accuse him of being a pervert, or something else terrible along those lines.
"Thank you! Come on, let's go eat something! I am very hungry!" Hatsume jumped out of bed and made for the door to the room.
"W-wait!" Izuku cried. "Don't go out there!"
"Huh?" Hatsume turned around, puzzled. "Why? Do you have something to eat?"
"N-n-no," Izuku admitted, wrapping a blanket around himself. "It's, just, um, you know, we're ah, not…"
"Not what? Hungry? If you want we can skip breakfast and start making babies right away!"
"N-n-no, we're, not, um, dressed," Izuku said meekly, lowering his eyes and wincing. Here it came.
"Oh! Yes, clothes. Thank you for reminding me! These are dirty too. I am dirty also. We should probably shower; mom and dad always yell at me if I come to breakfast dirty," Hatsume said, and started to pull off what little clothes she had.
"No! Wait! Don't!" Izuku yelped, jumping out of bed. He quickly tossed one of the blankets over Hatsume, wrapping her in it. "I don't, you know, want you to think I'm, er, harrassing you, or something. I'm not like that!"
That just seemed to confuse the girl further. "What? You have been very nice, Midiorya, you are not a bully at all! You asked me to be on your team, and you helped me make babies! I think we should be friends! Yes!" Mei discarded the blanket, going over to a trunk and opening it to rummage through it. "Ah ha! Yes, clothes! Here, do you want some? Hmm, where are the pants? I do not like dresses."
Izuku had to turn away when Hatsume stripped off her underwear, then pulled on a too-tight tunic and pulled on a pair of somewhat baggy trousers. "Here, you are a little bit taller than me, so you take the bigger shirt!"
Hatsume looked at Izuku expectantly as she handed him a tunic, smiling happily.
"Um, thanks, er, could I um, a little privacy?" Izuku asked, blushing as he took the clothes.
"There is no one else here, don't worry!" Hatsume told him, and started humming to herself as she continued to watch.
Blushing, Izuku unwrapped himself from the blanket, and started to pull on the trousers, but Hatsume clicked her tongue. "No, those are dirty! You need to take them off! There is no underwear in here so we will have to ask for some."
"But, you're, er, watching me," Izuku said, flushing even deeper if that was possible.
"Yes, do not worry, I have two brothers, I know what boys are like," Hatsume said. She frowned. "Wait, is this a social skills thing? I am very bad at those."
"Y-y-yeah, could you, um, wait outside?" Izuku asked, trying to cover himself with the clothes.
"Ok! But do not worry, Izuku, I think your body is very nice! You do not need to be embarrassed, I would not make fun of you." Then she simply left the room, closing the door behind her. Izuku could hear her humming happily in the hallway.
Completely unsure of how to take this new development, Izuku quickly changed clothes, taking off his sodden underwear. Reluctantly, he gathered up Hatsume's own dirty clothes, which she'd simply tossed on the floor, careful not to touch them, and put them in a basket that seemed to be for laundry.
When Izuku stepped out of the room, Hatsume immediately began to talk about her plans for the steam engine, what materials she would need, and how they could eventually build a better forge to make higher quality materials. Izuku eyed her to see if she was angry at him or teasing him, but she simply seemed genuinely excited to talk to him, even moving in close enough that Izuku was slightly embarrassed.
"Good morning, m'lord, m'lady" a maid said, curtsying as Izuku and Hatsume came down the stairs to the inn's main room. "Can I get you anything?"
"Yes, we are hungry! Do you have coffee? What about pancakes? Or mochi? Something with lots of sugar?" Mei asked eagerly.
"Coffee? Um, I don't rightly know what that is, m'lady. We do have some cakes and pastries, and hot tea, or if you prefer, wine or ale."
"That's fine! Um, any protein we could have with breakfast?" Izuku asked. The maid gave Izuku a blank look, and he elaborated, "Er, that would be meat, eggs, milk, cheese, or maybe beans?"
"Oh, of course! We've fresh milk to drink, and eggs and cheese of course. I'll be right back with that. Please, have a seat anywhere you like."
"Do you have chocolate milk!?" Mei asked eagerly. "I like chocolate milk!"
"No, I am very sorry m'lady! I'm afraid I don't know much of what gods eat, I apologize!" the maid whispered, looking down in embarrassment.
"No, it's fine! Um, just some milk to drink, and those pastries, and some cheese would be really great! We are very grateful," Izuku said, bowing quickly.
Hatsume glanced at Izuku, then mimicked his gesture.
"Oh!" the maid squeaked. "Please, I'm just a simple village girl! No need to thank me, I'll be right back!"
The meal ended up being quite good, with Mei gorging herself on sweets while Izuku ate a more protein intensive array with some fruits and vegetables. When they were nearly finished, Anton came in, smiling and bowing to Izuku and Mei.
"It is good to see you are refreshed. Lord Midoriya, my father has tasked me with assisting in your training with the blade."
"Oh, right, that would be really great!" Izuku agreed. He blushed, glancing at Hatsume, whose face was covered in crumbs with a prominent milk mustache. "Um, you don't mind, do you? It's really important that I learn how to fight properly…"
"No, that's ok, that's why you're a hero and I'm a support! I'll just get the blacksmith to help today. Plus, he talked about making something cute for you! Special armor maybe!"
"Yeah, nothing too heavy, I don't want my movement to be restricted. Plus, One For All also enhances my durability," Izuku added.
"Right! Something lightweight! Ha! We will have to show everyone how to manufacture aluminum! But for that I'll need my steam engine so we can do some electrolysis. Good luck, Midoriya!"
With that Hatsume stood up and scrambled away, muttering to herself about what she planned on making. Izuku found his gaze following her, admiring just how snugly the tunic fit Hatsume's figure. He blushed and looked back to Anton, not wanting to appear to be a lech.
"She is a remarkable woman," Anton observed. "Truely, you gods are a breed apart."
"What? No! We're not, I mean, Hatsume and I are just people, like you!" Izuku objected.
That made the other boy laugh. "My friend, I watched you run fast enough to keep up with a galloping horse while wearing armor! And Martel tells me Lady Hatsume had created steel finer than he has ever seen, leaving aside the marvelous creations and the, er, magical outbursts."
"I really am just a normal human. I was born quirkless, er, without any magic or special abilities," Izuku explained as they walked outside. "But I was given powers by All Might, the greatest hero to ever live. Without One For All, I'd be just like you."
"Ah, you are blessed by the gods then," Anton said, nodding in understanding. "Just as Father Henri and Marie have been."
"Huh? What happened to Marie?" Izuku asked.
"Did you hear the blast this morning?" Anton asked. When Izuku shook his head, he chuckled. "I see, your lady must have tired you! Do not blush, I jest, I jest! But Lady Megumin, she has bestowed her magic upon Marie! She can now perform a feat of magic that will be unrivaled in all of Royaume. It is not as impressive as what the goddesses can manage, of course, but it will be a great boon to our village. Now, come, let us dance!"
The sword training with Anton proved to be painful and exhausting, but Izuku kept at it determinedly. He found that he was once more struggling to tap into One For All, and that keeping up with Anton was a challenge. The other boy seemed to think Izuku was taking it easy on him, despite Izuku's continued insistence he really was just an ordinary human.
At dinner Izuku and the others were invited to the Count's manor, which was a large, fortified house on the northern outskirts of the village. It had a wooden palisade around it that was large enough to hold all of the villagers in an emergency, though Blois said it was rare these days for many strong monsters to come close to the village.
"Still, you never know when there might be a resurgence of goblinoids or a greatbeak that decides to attack our herds," Blois told Izuku. "Ah, here, my eldest, Gaston, and Sir Lenore."
"An honor, my lord, and ladies," Gaston said, bowing deeply. He looked to be in his early twenties, and like his father already bore several battle scars. He also introduced his wife Chanel and their infant daughter Isabel, who would be dining with them as well.
Sir Lenore, it turned out, was a woman somewhere in her late twenties, stoutly built and with an eyepatch over her left eye, which appeared to not be decorative like Megumin's was. She curtsied silently, then went to sit with Sir Jacques at the foot of the table.
The Baron it seemed was single, his wife having died of a fever along with their youngest daughter some years ago. Life in this world it seemed, even for nobility, was harsh and short.
As for Izuku's companions, Aqua wore the same dress as ever, and Megumin was in her robes. Izuku and Mei had changed into their tracksuits, which had been laundered. Izuku found it a bit awkward to sit in something so casual when the Count and his party were dressed in their formal best, but then again the tracksuits probably appeared exotic and fancy to them.
"So, Midoriya, I have to know, are you some sort of fighter? What exactly is your class?" Megumin demanded when they sat down to eat. "Hatsume Is obviously an artificer, but what are you? You're trying to learn the One Handed Sword skill and Aqua says you have the Medium Armor skill. I'll have you know, I'm used to Adventuring with a very sturdy crusader, so I will demand the very best protection from you if we're to defeat the Lord of the Tomb together!"
"Class?" Izuku asked. "Um, I was in Class 1A."
"Yes, Midoriya was in the Hero Course! I was in the Support Course, 1H!" Hatsume put in.
"Hero? That's not a class!" Megumin protested around a mouthful of food. She'd immediately grabbed several dishes and filled her plate, not even waiting for permission from their host. Aqua had poured herself a glass of wine and was knocking it back with no regard for decorum either, smacking her lips loudly.
Izuku glanced at their host, blushing and worried that he'd call out these so called "goddesses" on their manners, but neither the Count nor his sons and retainers seemed overly concerned with manners themselves, eagerly digging in to their food and listening attentively to Megumin's words.
"Um, well, I'm not sure I know what you mean then?" Izuku said, feeling flustered as he took portions himself. The food looked good, though it clearly wasn't Japanese. There was a great deal of bread, soups, meats cooked in wine or creamy sauces, and some fresh fruit and greens.
"What? It's obvious! See, Aqua is an Arch Priest. That's how she's got loads of support and healing spells, plus she's nearly as high level as me!" Megumin explained.
"I'd be higher if you weren't such a killstealer," Aqua muttered.
"Well, then you should be faster to get in the killing blow," Megumin sniffed. "As for me, well, I am an Arch Wizard of the Crimson Demon Clan! The most powerful race of magic users! I am a master of Explosion magic, she who will one day create an explosion so glorious it consumes the entire world!"
That pronouncement got the attention of their hosts, who froze, staring in shock at Megumin.
"A dark goddess," Gaston muttered, making a warding gesture by holding his fist before his face.
"Yes! I will save the world with my explosions, and from the ashes, I shall remake it, more perfect and complete!" Megumin declared, jumping up on her chair and posing with a dramatic swirl of her cape. "No vile creature shall stand before me! Even the Lord of the Tomb will bask in awe at my dark power!"
She sat back down, grinning smugly at Izuku. "So, what class are you? Warrior? Knight? Or just a basic Adventurer?"
"Um, none of them?" Izuku said, rubbing the back of his head. "I mean, I wanted to become a hero when I graduated, but I guess I'm going to have to do that now."
"What? How can you not have a class?" Megumin pointed to Marie. "She's clearly a Wizard, and they're both Knights, while the Count is a Swordmaster!"
"It is kind of you to say such things, but I am afraid I never earned that title," Blois said, bowing his head to Megumin. "The only living Swordmasters in the kingdom are Charles de Galant, and Countess de Arch."
"Huh? Then what class are you?" Megumin demanded.
"Why, I am a Count," Blois said, blinking in confusion. "That is, I am a minor landed noble."
"Wait, do you mean a class, like, from a video game?" Izuku asked, vaguely recalling something his classmates at school had talked about. He'd never been one for fantasy games, but he'd heard about them of course.
"Yes, just like in the MMOs from your world!" Megumin said. "So, what class are you?"
"Um, I don't have one?" Izuku admitted. "Er, maybe Student? Or trainee hero? People don't just have classes where I come from…"
"That is ridiculous! How do you choose your skills or decide what sort of Adventurer you are going to be?" Megumin demanded. "You said you wanted to be a hero, well, heroes have to have an advanced class! You can't just let anyone earn the title of hero!"
"Well, you have to pass the Hero License exam," Izuku explained. "Then you become a pro hero and can use your quirk in public, so long it's on a mission."
"Quirks are like, what he calls magic," Aqua told Megumin. "His world is super weird, I don't think it's actually one of the ones I'm in charge of at all. That explosion probably just dumped him off in one of my realms so I took his soul to judge by accident."
"Well, you and Hatsume's quirks are obviously special abilities from skill points, how did you decide to get them if you don't have a class?" Megumin demanded.
"Mine is from my dad!" Hatsume said, looking up from her plate, which was covered in nothing but sweet desserts. She was going to make herself sick if she continued to eat like that, but Izuku didn't feel comfortable telling her so as he barely knew her. "My sister and I both got our quirk from dad, ours is called Zoom! My little brother Nikiawa's is from our mom, but Komaru's is a mutation! His eyes make you feel weird if you look at them for too long."
"Yeah, quirks are genetic, you get them from your parents," Izuku agreed. "Well, um, except for mine. It's, er, different."
"Really?!" Hatsume asked excitedly, wiping her chin with the back of her hand. "You have to tell me about it, Midoriya! If it's a new kind of quirk, then I can make you a super cute baby just for it!"
Izuku fidgeted, unsure of what to do. It was supposed to be a secret, but, well, he was technically dead, and All Might wasn't around, and he had to trust someone. Hatsume seemed like the best candidate, so he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I got it from All Might. He um, his quirk can be passed on. Don't tell anyone though, it's a secret."
"Ok," Hatsume said in a very loud stage whisper. "But that is very interesting! I did not know quirks could do that! If All-"
Izuku put his hand to Hatsume's mouth, wincing. "Shh! Secret."
That got her to nod vigorously, and Izuku withdrew his hand. "I won't tell, I promise! But I will definitely be able to think of ways to make super cute babies just for it now! Ha! That explains why you hurt yourself when you use it! I heard about it from Mr. Maijima, apparently Mr. Aizawa asked if he could think of some gear that could help you so he told me!"
"Yeah, it's a problem, I'm still growing into it," Izuku admitted. He looked back to Megumin and Aqua, who both appeared gobsmacked.
"You're just...born with powerful skills?!" Megumin demanded. "My parents are both accomplished Archwizards, so I inherited a high intelligence stat from them, but I had to earn skill points by earning skill potions and leveling up to even begin to earn enough skill points to learn Explosion!"
"You keep talking about levels," Izuku said slowly. "You don't… you don't get, what's it called? Ex Pee? From fighting stuff?"
Aqua looked at Izuku as though he'd just told her the world's supply of alcohol had run out. "Wow. I guess you really aren't a NEET, huh? This is like, super basic stuff, Midoriya. That's how most fantasy worlds work! You get experience from fighting monsters, doing quests, or eating special food. Though I'm sorta surprised this food isn't worth any experience, it's pretty tasty."
"You are not enjoying your food?" Blois asked, sounding worried.
"No, it's good, but I won't get any levels out of it," Aqua told him. "I mean, I have to eat a lot of food to level up now anyways, I'm level 78."
"And I'm level 84," Megumin declared, a mischievous grin on her face. "That's why I'm the greatest Archwizard in the entire world! I got the killing blow on the Devil King, and he was world LOADS of xp!"
"Er, you don't get levels, or points, or well, anything but nutrition out of food where I'm from. I think it's the same way here?" Izuku said, looking to Blois.
"Our repast is to fortify ourselves, and give us strength. To prepare it takes skill, to partake of it does not," Blois said, then chuckled and nodded to his granddaughter, who was still young enough that a servant had to mash food for her and feed her at a separate table. "Unless one is very young, of course."
"This place is so weird," Megumin muttered. "No experience? No levels? No skills? I mean, I taught Marie Explosion, it wasn't even hard! She didn't have an Adventurers card I admit, but I sort of, I don't know, gave her the knowledge. I just showed her how to recite the spell and then she could do it."
"It was far easier learning magic from you, Lady Megumin," Marie said, bowing her head respectfully. "I am but a simple Freemage, I spent years in a Guildhall to learn the half dozen incantations I know, each requiring great effort to master. But when you showed me your divine magic, it was as though it was etched into my mind with a fiery quill, and I understood immediately."
"Yeah, because that's how learning spells is SUPPOSED to work," Megumin said. "I could tell you're a decent enough level, even if you only know basic magic. You just must have had enough extra skill points to master explosion, which for a Wizard is 60 points! That's a lot to just leave lying around."
"Hmm, no, you must actually be becoming a goddess," Aqua mused. "I think I remember something about the survivors of the Crimson Demon Clan worshiping you, the ones left alive when the Lord of the Tomb conquered your world. So if you have followers, you can grant blessings to them. And Marie converted to your cult when you offered to teach her Explosion magic, so she counts. That's how you taught Hatsume too."
"Wait, Megumin can teach that to anybody?!" Izuku asked, feeling half panicked. From what he had seen, that spell was incredibly destructive, and she'd already asked him if he wanted to use it. If she started teaching it to just anyone…
"No, only really devoted followers of hers that already meet the stat requirements," Aqua said with a shrug. "And they'll only be able to use it as long as Megumin has enough prayers and offerings to allow it."
"Wait, could I use that holy power to cast more Explosions?!" Megumin demanded eagerly.
"I mean, I guess. I don't have much MP myself, since my intelligence is so low, so I have to draw most of my spells from my followers' belief," Aqua explained. "You're used to using your own magic reserves, but you could do the same thing. I'll show you how, it's not that hard. Just make sure you have enough followers, or you'll run out of belief."
"Oh, that won't be a problem," Megumin said, rubbing her hands. She grinned at Marie. "You! I charge you, as the first of my followers on this world, to spread news of my power across the land! Inform my disciples that if they beseech me, I, Megumin, Dark Goddess of Explosions, will bestow the blessing of explosion magic upon them in their hour of need! They must use it only for great justice, to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked! I, Megumin, have spoken!"
"Y-yes, my lady!" Marie said, standing quickly. She curtsied to Megumin, then swallowed and cursed again to Blois. "Your pardon, my lord, but my goddess calls. I...I must beg leave of you, and depart your service…"
Blois stood slowly, going over and resting a hand on Marie's shoulder. "Go," he said seriously. "These new goddesses are powerful indeed. With their might, the evil of this world shall shudder, and Men will at last push back the darkness and free this world! Find worthy acolytes for the Goddess Megumin, those who would use her powerful magic well."
"Wait!" Megumin said, standing and hurrying over. "I'm going to have to teach you the ways of the Crimson Demon Clan first! Our culture is a deep, rich tapestry, and to truly spread my good name, I must show you more of it."
"Of course, My Lady, I shall learn everything I can from you," Marie swore, bowing and kissing the hem of Megumin's robe.
"Yes, yes, but no fawning! Crimson demons do not fawn! Now, first, we must learn introductions. Stand up, straight! Yes, like that. Now, this is what you must do."
Megumin struck a T pose, raising one leg up, spreading both arms wide, and her eyes seemed to glow. "Behold! I am Megumin! Arch Wizard of the Crimson Demon clan! I wield the power of Holy Explosions, and all wicked things tremble at my coming!"
"That looks really silly," Mei muttered. "Like what my little brother Komaru and his dumb friends do when they're trying to copy cartoon heroes."
Izuku snorted, covering his mouth with his hands. Really, it reminded him of what he used to do when he was a kid, dressing up like All Might and posing in front of the mirror. That was the sort of thing that heroes did only for publicity stunts when they were trying to appeal to Middle School and Elementary kids.
"It is not silly!" Megumin protested, planting her hands on her hips. "It is a proud tradition of the Crimson Demon clan! Making a proper introduction is vital to our culture, and to my religion! Now you try, Marie!"
Marie nodded seriously, then intoned, "Behold, I am Marie, Wizard of-"
"No, no, no!" Megumin ranted. "Look, you're not even posing. Here, stick your arm up, like that! Then, make a cool sign in front of your face with the other! Now, bend one leg slightly, and stick the other out! That's better! And don't just SAY it! You really have to mean it! Otherwise, it won't make the same impression!"
After several tries and corrections, each more ridiculous than the last, Marie was finally ready. Taking a deep breath, she struck her ridiculous pose, making a V shape before her right eye, one arm out and raised while she cackled maniacally.
"BEHOLD! I am Marie! Wizard and Priestess of the Crimson Demon Clan! I am a wielder of the secret arcane arts, mightiest of magics! All that is wicked sees me, and despairs!"
"Better, better," Megumin said, rubbing her chin. "Come, now we have to practice some incantations. You can't just wave your hand and chant 'Explosion' a bunch. I mean, sure, it will work, but that's just for basic stuff. To REALLY get the good stuff, you have to be creative! Come on, I saw a nice, open field with a bunch of rocks in it. We'll practice there! You, Midoriya, Hatsume, come on! We'll need someone to carry us back when we're done."
Sighing, Izuku pushed his chair in and followed Megumin and Marie, Hatsume happily tagging along as she shoved sweets into her pockets. Great. He was going to be an accessory to arson, and a delusional middle schooler's cult.
These goddesses must be crazy.
Authors Note:
So, I sort of stumbled my way into an overarching plot for this. As such, I should probably ask if any beta readers would be interested in giving me some feedback on the plot and/or checking for my inevitable spelling and grammar issues. If you're interested, shoot me a message.