Beta's and Edited by The Evil Within

Chapter 11: So This is What Passes For Divinity Now

Just because gods exist is no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.

-Granny Weatherwax

"Presenting his Grace, Lord Midoriya Wolfsbane, and his Lady Hatsume of the Forge."

Izuku winced at being introduced as such, but Mei was leaning on his arm and looking around excitedly at the nobles that filled the great hall as they walked in. "Izuku! Do you think the king will like my babies? I wonder if he'll give me funding for a super cute workshop to build all day and night!"

"Um, maybe, but we should ask about that later," Izuku whispered to her.

"And, presenting for the first time, their most divine Graces, Lady Aqua, Goddess of Water and Archpriest of the Axis Church, and Her Dark Majesty Megumin, Archwizard the Crimson Demon Cult and Mistress of Explosions."

"Thank you, my adoring worshipers!" Aqua called behind Izuku. "I, Aqua, your goddess, am here to save you all!"

All around Izuku, noble in their finery knelt as Aqua and Megumin walked in. The Guildmages, however, struck ridiculous poses and cried, "Behold, she who will master Explosion, Lady Megumin!"

"Good grief," Izuku groaned. It was like watching a bad internet meme spread, only most of the people doing it where old enough they should have known better.

"They do look very silly, but it would be very rude to tell them and I think it would hurt Megumin's feelings again so we should be nice," Mei told Izuku.

"Yeah, sorry, you're right," Izuku sighed in agreement.

They walked down a plush purple and gold carpet leading through the grand hall, crystal chandeliers glowing with mage lights above them. The entire hall was made of dazzling white marble with gilded accents, and decorated with elaborate murals and wall hangings. At the end stood a raised dais, upon which stood an impressive throne carved from what appeared to be a single piece of ivory. And upon the throne sat an older man, looking somewhere just shy of 60, with a neatly trimmed white and grey beard, and a weathered face. He was dressed in shining golden armor, along with a feathered mantle of dark green. His crown was a simple golden circlet, set with a ruby at the center, glimmering in the light.

Izuku and Mei both went to bow, but were stopped when the king suddenly stood. "Lord Midoriya, Lady Hatsume, you bow to no one here. Tell me, are you indeed from another world?"

"Yep! We're from Japan! Are you from Earth too?" Mei asked.

Charles shook his head. "No, I was born here. Two centuries ago, my ancestor, Enji Yamamoto, was also sent to this world. With the blessing of the Goddess Psyche Dio and her husband, Saint Yeh, he-"

"That's not their names," Aqua pipped up, coming to stand by Izuku. "You're mispronouncing them. She's Sakido, and he's Seiya."

"Sakido? Doesn't that mean 'restart?'" Izuku asked.

"Hmph, yes," Aqua said, puffing her cheeks out. "Rista think's she's so smart. Changed her last name to Sakido when she married Seiya. He was from Japan too, you know. Now they're both gods and just completely insufferable."

The king blinked, taken aback by the apparent theological revelation. "I...I did not realize this. Your pardon, Lady Aqua."

"But I've got a super great deal for you today, King Charlie!" Aqua said, drawing out a familiar piece of paper. "If you convert now to the Axis Faith instead of whatever Rista's calling her church, I'll grant you one Scared Object as a bonus!"

"But if instead you convert to the Crimson Demon Cult, I will grant you the greatest of blessings, Explosion!" Megumin cackled, drawing out her own parchment and waving it about.

"Your pardon, goddesses. I shall, of course, offer you both offerings and prayers, but I am afraid that as ceremonial head of the New Religion in Royaume, I am afraid that I must decline. I have legalized your cults of course, and I am deeply grateful for your blessings upon this world, and for your very presence," King Charles said, bowing slightly.

"Hmph," Aqua sniffed. "Well, I guess I'll still save your land, since so many of my followers live here now. But you better build me a super cool temple, with lots of fountains! And it should be nicer than Rista's too."

"My church should meet in a dark catacomb, or perhaps in a hidden dungeon! And meet only at night, in secret, while wearing masks!" Megumin declared. "And there needs to be a secret password, and all our rituals should be super mysterious!"

The king blinked, a look of incredulity passing over his face, but he ultimately bowed. "Of course, as you will, goddesses. Now, as to why I requested your presence. A great army of goblinoids and undead are making their way towards our borders. They must be stopped before they ravage the land beyond repair. I ask for your aid in stopping them. Already, I am mustering my army, and shall ride forth in two days time to stop them. Your temples shall, of course, be given in gratitude for your aid."

"And I want a workshop! A big one, with lots of materials to make cute babies with Izuku!" Mei said eagerly. She held up her crossbow. "We could make you more like this! And armor like Midoriya's, I'll show you all how to make aluminum and generate electricity too! We could make lights, and all sorts of stuff!"

"Whatever you desire, Lady Hatsume. I have been told of your wondrous creations already. My alchemists and craftsmen shall provide all that you require." Then Charles turned to Izuku. "And you, Lord Midoriya, what is it you want? I can make your title far more than just a name, I would be willing to grant you a duchy, and all the incomes associated with it."

"Um, actually, I wasn't planning on staying," Izuku said, feeling nervous and shifting uneasily. Mei suddenly took his hand and squeezed it, smiling at Izuku, and he felt much more confident. Taking a deep breath, Izuku explained, "You see, when we defeat the Lord of the Tomb, I was going to ask Aqua to send Hatsume and I back to our own world. I, um, I have a promise I have to keep. I was given a great power by the greatest hero in our world, All Might. I promised to be the Symbol of Peace for our country, which has troubles of its own. I...I hope that doesn't disappoint you too much."

"I am saddened to hear you will not stay with us, but I understand. You seem to be a lord in your own land, and as such, you have a duty to fulfill. You are a man of honor. Still, I shall name you Lord Midoriya Wolfsbane in truth. Whatever you ask of the crown, if it is in my power, I shall grant."

"Thank you," Izuku said, blushing. "Um, actually, we're sort of tired, it was a long trip. Could we maybe eat and have somewhere to rest before we get ready to fight the Lord of the Tomb?"

"Of course! I had planned a great feast to honor your arrival, but perhaps now is not the time for frivolities," the king said. "Come, let us adjourn to my private dining room."

Aqua and Megumin turned out to be more interested in meeting with their followers than food for the moment, so Izuku and Mei ended up alone with the king and some servants in a small private chamber. Once the food was served, the king dismissed the servants, leaving them alone.

They chatted quietly over dinner, most of the conversation coming from the king asking Izuku and Mei questions about their homes and families. It felt strangely normal to have dinner with the ruler of an entire nation, as the king had taken off his crown and armor to dress in fine but simple clothes.

"It seems that your land is one full of wonders, but in the end, people are the same , I suppose. It does disturb me to hear of so many dangerous men, whom you call villains. Are there truly no monsters for humanity to face? Other races that vie for dominance?" the king asked.

"Nope, just people! Are there aliens here?" Mei asked curiously. "I've always wanted to go to space and find aliens! I wonder what sort of technology they have, what babies they can make!"

"There are indeed other races," the king nodded. "Goblinoids are the most common, though there are the fae as well to consider. Most of them have been long since driven from the lands of Men by heroes such as yourself, sent by the goddesses."

"Can I ask you something about the goddesses?" Izuku asked, and the king nodded. "Um, I don't mean to be offensive, I know it's your religion and all, but um, don't you think Aqua and Megumin are a bit...strange? Maybe, I don't know, silly?"

"Of course. They are goddesses. They are not like Men," the king replied as if it were obvious.

"But they do such weird stuff!" Mei laughed. "Like those silly poses, or the things Aqua says about love. Why do you listen to them so much?"

The king considered this for a moment. "In your land, many are born with great gifts, such as your incredible vision, Hatsume, and your strength, Midoriya, yes? Well, in these lands, men are not given such great powers. I would walk naked through the streets of my city if it meant I would be given the power to protect my people. Men have long required the aid of the gods to secure our place in this world. An odd dance is a small price to pay for the power to change the course of a battle, and paying homage to a deity, no matter how odd, gives priests the power to heal our sick."

"I...I guess that makes sense," Izuku admitted. It was hard to argue that Aqua and Megumin weren't powerful, or that they didn't bestow potent gifts. Izuku had been willing to put himself through an exhausting physical and mental hell for a year to get One For All. He definitely would have been willing to do a few ridiculous dances or pray to Aqua if it got him something similar. If he were honest, he had to pray to Aqua for something else already, and he hadn't even tried that yet…

"Well, this meal has been most enlightening, in many ways. I look forward to seeing you both during our planning sessions later. I am sure you will provide insight's we would not foresee. You may retire to your rooms, or partake in leisure about the palace and city for the evening." the king said, standing. "Thank you again, brave heroes, for coming to our aid."

It was still fairly early, so Izuku and Mei went about finding the palace smithy to work for a bit. On the way, however, they were ambushed by Aqua and Megumin, who were hurrying through the halls.

"Quick, you have to save us!" Aqua pleaded to Izuku, grabbing him and shaking his shoulder. "They won't stop!"

"What, who's there?" Izuku demanded, tapping into One For All and assuming a fighting stance. Ever since he'd officially joined the Axis Faith, it was becoming increasingly easier to channel the Quirk without tearing his muscles with every move. He could now afford to let his power flow through him with barely a thought now, though he still had to hold back most of the time while actually attacking, or risk serious injury.

"We'll blow 'em up!" Hatsume cackled, opening the jacket she wore to reveal half the dozen homemade explosives she had taken to carrying.

"No, no explosions!" Megumin ordered, speaking what was ordinarily blasphemy to her as she waved her hands frantically. "You can't blow up our followers!"

That brought Izuku up short. "Huh?" He looked down the hall, and could just make out voices coming their way.

"Please, goddesses, share more of your wisdom!"

"I must know, who will be the best wife for my son!"

"Tell us, what does the future hold!"

Izuku let out a soft groan as the pressure of One For All dissipated. "You're running from your own faithful?"

"At first it was nice and all, but they just. Won't. Stop! They're all asking dumb things, not even how to heal the sick or something important!" Aqua whined. "I just want somewhere to drink my bubbly and be left alone!"

"Half of them aren't even qualified to receive my blessing, and they keep demanding to know the significance of the poses and hand gestures I make! They won't even listen when I tell them it's just because it looks cool! Please, Midoriya, Hastsume, you have to rescue us! You're our champions, do your job!"

Mei and Izuku both gave the two blubbering goddesses flat looks, but then Mei nodded. "I guess we should help you or something, since you're our friends. You sure we can't just do a few explosions? That would scare them off I bet."

"No Explosions. Especially inside the castle we are currently invited in.," Izuku said firmly. "Come on, I have an idea." He led them through a few doors until he found a maid scurrying through the halls.

"Hey, do you know where they keep extra clothes for servants?" Izuku asked her.

"Um, yes, m'lord, but-"

"No time, quick, show us where it is!" Izuku told her.

With a squeak, the maid took them through a few side passages to a closet that contained fine clothes for important maids and butlers.

"No good, we need really simple clothes, like the stuff normal people wear," Izuku told her.

"Why do you-"

"Just do it, OK?!" Aqua cried. "Hurry, the nobles are catching up!"

The maid complied, taking them down a few stairs to the lower levels of the palace. "Um, these are mostly old clothes for scullery maids and stable boys, they're kept by the church to hand out to the poor but-"

"Perfect, thank you, it's just what we need. Don't tell anyone you showed us this, okay!" Izuku told the maid, and handed her some of the money Blois had given them.

"Izuku, what do you want with these rags?" Aqua asked, wrinkling her nose as the maid scurried off.

"Change into them. We can stash our old clothes in the laundry basket," Izuku explained quickly, taking off his own shirt to put on the stable boy wear. "We can go out looking like servants, and no one will notice."

"I do not think so, our hair is wrong," Mei observed. "I have been looking, and everyone has the same colors of hair here. Yellow, brown, and some black. No pink, or green, or blue!"

"I cannot be seen without my signature robes!" Megumin protested. "This is the look of a Crimson Demon, and-"

"Look, do you want to hide or not?" Izuku interrupted her. "Because if you go out in your hero costume, people are going to realize who you are. We can't do anything about your eyes, but if you wear a hood like us and keep it down no one will notice."

"Hero costume? Hmm, yes, it is very heroic. But I do want to just be alone for a while. Fine! But you better not look!" Megumin lectured.

"Why?" Mei asked, already having stripped out of most of her clothes.

Megumin glared at Mei. "Do you have no shame?! Showing off are you? It's not my fault I am an ageless immortal! If I grew up, my boobs would be just as big as yours! Besides, some guys like smaller women, I'll have you know!"

Mei looked down at her own rather ample assets, cocking her head to one side. "They are mostly a bother. They get in the way and if I do not wear the right underwear they hurt sometimes. Hmm, Izuku, what do you think?"

"I-I-I," Izuku stammered, trying hard to look away, but ultimately failing as Mei walked up to him, jiggling her chest and frowning. Thankfully she still had on her bra and undershirt, but it was still very distracting.

"That is not fair! He is your boyfriend, of course he will be biased in favor of big boobs!" Megumin snapped.

"Oh relax Megumin. Come on, we can change over here," Aqua said, grabbing the irate mage and dragging her over to another closet.

Mei watched them go, looking a bit puzzled. "Why does it matter? Everyone is different. Boobs are just a secondary sexual characteristic. Like big muscles for boys! I have muscles too, but they are not as big as yours. Hmm. I like your muscles though, does that mean you like my boobs?"

"Um, yes, er, very much," Izuku admitted, trying very hard not to stare. What would Hatsume think of him?

"Ah, I see. I really should have paid more attention in biology," Mei mused, then started getting dressed in the rough servants clothes.

"Didn't you, you know, start feeling different when you were in middle school?" Izuku asked, forcing himself into motion and putting on a pair of rough woolen trousers and over tunic. They were dyed in simple colors but ended up fitting surprisingly well. Mei had chosen what were obviously male clothes to Izuku's eyes; she apparently had an abject disdain for dresses despite the urgings of some of the servants to get her to try them.

"Well yes, but it was mostly annoying. Hari and mom helped me when my girl problems started. Do boys have something like that?" Mei asked.

Quickly, Izuku shook his head. "N-no, definitely not!"

"Really? Then why do you keep trying to hide your underwear in the morning?" Mei asked suspiciously.

Izuku bit back a reply. He did not want to talk about the unforeseen complications of sharing a bed with a very cute girl, especially since it made it very hard to relieve said pressure with Mei around all the time. The dreams were entertaining though. No, stop it! He had to focus.

"Let's just go see what Aqua and Megumin are up to," Izuku said, hurrying outside to avoid the topic.

As it turned out, the two troublesome goddesses were already changed, with both of them now wearing shawls pulled low to hide their hair and eyes. They were both dressed in simple dresses, Aqua somehow having found a blue one, while Megumin had picked out the darkest one she could find.

"So now what?" Mei asked.

"We go out and party!" Aqua declared. "I've got loads of cash from all the offerings, so we'll find an inn and enjoy ourselves!"

"I don't know if it's such a good idea to just go get drunk," Izuku said cautiously. "Besides, Hatsume and I are underage, and well, Megumin sort of looks, um-"

"If you say I look like a kid, I will personally ensure that a terrible misfortune falls upon your head," the mage growled.

"Bah, who cares, there's no drinking age here! Come on, we're going to go fight a war in a couple days, relax, have some fun while you can!" Aqua all but sang. "Let's go!"

So off they went. It was easy enough to get out of the palace, leaving through a servants gate by following some real servants out, and heading out into the larger city. Though it was growing dark as night fell, the streets were still busy and crowded with people who had just gotten off work. Sparse torches along select stone walls casting a mellow light upon the hustle and bustle. Aqua even got directions to an inn with a nice selection of drinks easily enough from a passing worker.

"Just down the street aways, the Pint and Pickle is a good tavern, excellent wine. Though I must ask, are you looking for rooms? Your features are quite foreign, are you refugees? We've been getting more and more of them, though thank the goddesses the devils are still far off from our walls."

"We're just here for a good time! Come on you guys, I want to try some new wines!" Aqua cheerily said.

It didn't take long for them to find the inn, which had a sign depicting a pickle sticking out of a mug of ale hanging out front. It was filled with people laughing and enjoying themselves, most of them looking like well off merchants, servants, or peasants who were there to enjoy themselves after a long day of labor.

"What can I get for you?" a serving boy asked them as Izuku's group sat at a table near the back.

"Four of your house drinks, and something greasy and tasty to eat!" Aqua ordered.

"And sweets! I already had dinner so I want some dessert!" Mei demanded.

"I can bring you four tankards of ale, two deniers each, and the food will cost you another ten."

"Sure, sure, bring it on!" Aqua laughed. "I'm flush with cash!" She dug out a couple of gold coins and gave them to the boy, who's eyes nearly bugged out on seeing them.

"Um, thank you, m'lady! I'll be back with your food!" the boy ran off immediately, and Izuku let out a groan.

"What?" Aqua asked, frowning at him.

"That's probably enough money to stay here for a week. You just gave him two francs, which are worth 12 argentum, and each argentum is worth 12 deniers. The food and drink was going to cost us 18 deniers, and you gave him the equivalent of 288."

"What?! I got ripped off! Hey, give me my change!" Aqua squawked, standing up and shaking her fist until Megumin jerked her back down.

"You start yelling about that, and it's going to draw attention," Megumin hissed. "Just forget about it. How many of those gold coins do you have, anyway?"

"I don't know, I stopped counting after the first hundred or so. I thought it was just like eris, so fairly worthless!" Aqua complained.

"Would it kill you to pay attention to money for once, Aqua?" Megumin sighed. "This is why the rest of us always had to keep your reward money: you'd always end up spending it on something stupid like a chicken egg."

"Emperor Zel was a dragon, he was just a small and fluffy one," Aqua grumbled under her breath, arms crossed.

Izuku looked at Megumin, who grinned and shook her head. "She spent millions on a dumb chicken egg. He made a nice mana battery though."

Before Aqua could protest, the boy hurried back with a platter of fried chicken, sweet roles, honeyed fruit, and bread pudding.

"Be back with the drinks, m'lady!" he panted, and turned to go, but Megumin put his hand on his shoulder. He spun, looking guilty.

"Hey. None of that. We're just normal customers, OK? But keep the drinks coming, and we won't ask for any money back."

"Of course, m'-I mean, yes, miss," the boy agreed. Megumin removed her hand and the boy sprinted back, returning with four ales and a bottle of wine.

"Here you go, if you need more just wave and I'll-" he paused, gaping as Aqua upended a mug, draining it in seconds, before slamming it back down with a massive grin.

She did the same with each of the rest, then let out a great belch before she laughed. "That was good! Something for my friends too, this bottle is all mine! Come to mama, sweetie, I've missed you!"

"Um, I'll be back with more ale and wine," the boy promised. "Sheesh. Maybe you didn't overpay…"

Izuku wasn't that hungry, but he still picked at the candied fruit simply to not drink on an empty stomach, while he watched in amusement as Aqua proceeded to guzzle the wine straight from the bottle. "Have you always been an alcoholic?"

"Pfff, I'm a goddess, I can't actually get alcohol poisoning," Aqua said, smacking her lips in satisfaction. "Plus, I'm a goddess of water! This stuff comes naturally to me."

"Won't you have to pee a bunch?" Mei asked curiously.

"No! Goddesses do not go pee!" Aqua ranted.

"Um, I've been meaning to ask you about that," Megumin said. "'Cause, um, it's been a while, and I haven't had to you...you know...go."

"Our divine bodies convert everything into pure energy!" Aqua declared. "We never have to go pee or anything else that gross mortals do."

"Oh. I mean, I don't miss it, but it's kinda weird. I always thought you were making that stuff up to be honest. It made sense in the divine realm, but when I first came back here I had to, you know, go. But ever since I've gotten more followers, um, I haven't...you know. Felt the call of nature."

"That does not make any sense! You should still have to excrete some form of waste!" Hastume objected. "Your body can't possibly process everything you put into it!"

"Nah, it totally does. I don't even have to get drunk if I don't really want to, I just like how it feels," Aqua told them. "Slumming it with mortals is actually pretty fun, so I let myself experience things like getting tired and sleeping, or eating and stuff, but I don't have to do it. Prayers and offerings are enough to sustain us goddesses."

"Is that why your anatomy is so weird?" Megumin asked. "You look like a doll in the bath. I always wondered about that but I didn't want to ask…"

"Hey, let's talk about literally anything else!" Izuku cried desperately.

"Yes! Enough of that, let me tell you about the super cute babies I have been making," Hatsume said.

They ended up talking for several hours, and Izuku ended up ingesting enough ale to leave a faint warm feeling pulsing throughout his body. He might have also ended up going on a long rant about the superiority of various All Might Product lines and why the American Years All Might line of figures in particular were the best, but the others seemed happy enough to listen. They all ended up talking about their own hobbies after that.

Aqua, to no one's surprise, loved drinking and partying, but she turned out to also enjoy exploring new places and had an insatiable curiosity when it came to new experiences. She was also an accomplished artist in a dozen fields, and ended up performing a complicated song and dance atop their table that had the inn cheering for more. She went on to perform an impromptu shadow puppet routine that had the entire inn laughing hysterically and sobbing by turns, each line more slurred than the last.

Megumin's interests extended far beyond explosions and funny poses. She talked excitedly about several dozen games that Izuku had never heard of, explaining the importance of different stats and builds and how to min/max your character for maximum damage output. She was also a big fan of cute things, especially cats and Hello Kitty in particular, having discovered the brand while in the Divine Realm.

In contrast, Mei and Izuku's interests were somewhat narrow. Izuku only cared about heroes, and All Might in particular, while Mei loved inventing and building things.

"Eh, don't worry about it, as you get older you'll discover more things you enjoy," Megumin told them. "I used to only love Explosion magic, but there's more to life than that, even if Explosion is still the greatest thing ever."

"It is very fun, but I like making babies more," Mei declared.

"I'm sure Izuku does too," Megumin deadpanned, which caused him to choke on his drink. Mei had to pound his back while Megumin cackled at her pun.

"Alright, thash enough here," Aqua said, staggering back to their table. "Come on, hic, we've...we've jusht got shtarted! Letsh move this party on!"

"Yeah, fine, you look like you've had enough anyway," Izuku sighed. The rest of the inn was sad to see Aqua go, having rather enjoyed her antics, but Izuku noticed a few people in clergy robes had entered and were looking about.

"Crap, you guys have drawn notice!" Izuku said. He caught the serving boy. "Hey, is there a back way out? My friend, um, she's not doing too good."

"Huh? Oh, sure, for you, no problem! This way." The boy led them out a back door, Megumin having to support a staggering Aqua. When they got outside, Aqua ended up vomiting into a pile of trash. That got the serving boys attention, as it came out as a sweet smelling rainbow.

"You really are her, aren't you?" the boy whispered. "You're the goddess, Aqua! I knew someone so kind and beautiful had to be a goddess!"

"Thatsh right, hic. Don't...don't go tellin' no body," Aqua said, wiping her mouth with her hand and only succeeding in clearinging the right side.

The boy nodded with awe, then shifted on his feet uneasily. "Can you really heal people, like they say?"

"Yesh. I am an-hic-expert at healing," Aqua said, waving grandly. Then she puked again.

"Um, could you...could you heal my dad? He came back from the fighting, but he's hurt. Lost his leg. He can't work no more…"

"Of coursh! But...are you one of my-hic-worshipers?" Aqua demanded.

The boy nodded vigorously, and pulled out a crude amulet shaped like a waterwheel. "We're Axis church members! Please, it's not very far, you have to come help!"

"I thought we didn't want to draw attention," Mei said, looking uncertain.

"Bah! It'll be fine. Beshides, hic, he brought me the GOOD shtuff. Thasha Mirical earnin! Lead the way, kid!" Aqua ordered, before drunkenly stumbling off after him.

The boy led them a few blocks down the dark streets to a less orderly looking part of town, the area showing signs of age and lack of maintenance compared to the main street. There were large tenement buildings, which were completely back in the night, as the residents could afford to waste candles.

"We, um, we live up at the top," the boy admitted. "It's a long climb in the dark, but I have a candle."

"Don't shweat it," Aqua told him. "Holy Light!" A small glowing blue orb appeared in Aqua's hands. "Lead the way!"

They hadn't gone far up the stairs before Izuku heard the sound of a wet cough, and a crying baby. The boy wrinkled his face. "Lots of baby's sick. The grip's been going through. I hope my baby sister doesn't get it, people are worried their babies are gonna die."

That seemed to get Aqua's attention. "What? No little baby's are dying on my watch!"

Without warning, she barged into the nearest room, causing an immediate uproar.

"Get the hell out, I'm warning you, I've got a knife!" a man bellowed.

"Oh shut up," Aqua snapped. "Your baby's sick!" She threw off her hood, and in the light emanating from her hand, the room was bathed in an ethereal glow. The man paused, lowering his weapon.

"Who are-?"

Aqua shoved him aside, stepping over to the cowering woman who was clutching her child close.

"Pff. They want me to tell them holy words and stuff? Well here's one you dumb nobles, get off your asses and use my gifts to heal people! Sheesh!" Aqua ranted, her earlier inebriation apparently having vanished. "Cure Disease!"

The wailing baby suddenly quieted, it's cough gone, and Aqua nodded, rolling up the sleeves on her dress. "Right, where's the next one?"

"Goddess?" the man gasped, falling to his knees. "Are you really..?"

"Yes, yes, I'm Aqua, Goddess of Water, blah blah. You can thank me by going to my shrines and praying once in a while. Now hurry up, who else has a sick kid?" Aqua demanded, planting her hands on her hips.

"Come on," Megumin said, tugging on Izuku's sleeve. "Let's go wait outside. When she gets like this, it can take hours, or even days before she calms down again."

"What do you mean?" Izuku asked, following Megumin back down the stairs.

Megumin sighed. "I've seen her manifest like this before. She doesn't do it very often, she's really quite lazy. But if her followers bug her enough she'll go on a spree and cure an entire city before she calms down again. Then she yells at her priests for a while, then gets drunk and passes out. The only reason she never did it in Belzerg is because they had enough clerics to keep people mostly healthy. For some reason, seeing sick humans in particular really pisses her off."

"Can you help heal people too?" Mei asked, curious.

Meguman shrugged and shook her head. "Unless the cure is more Explosions, I can't really do anything for you. I'm not a healing goddess you know."

They ended up going to sit outside as shouting and lights began to fill the tenement. Izuku could hear Aqua making her way through the building, shouting out "Heal!" and "Cure Disease!" Other people from nearby buildings began to come out, complaining about the noise, but they were quickly silenced, when those Aqua had healed began to spill out.

"The Goddess Aqua, she's here!"

"She cured my baby!"

"She healed my foot!"

"She came, to us, she cares, she really cares!"

Before long, there was a huge, noisy crowd rejoicing outside of the building, clamoring for Aqua and her healing graces.

"What?!" Aqua demanded, sticking her head out of a window on the fourth floor. "Dammit, I'll be down when I'm done! Midoriya! Keep them from rushing in, someone's going to get hurt and I am not healing people for being dumb, you understand me?! Now everybody shut up and let me work!"

With a sigh, Izuku went over to the door, blocking the passageway. "Please, everyone, just form an orderly line! Those with injuries or sickness, please wait on the right. Those who merely want to see the goddess, you can please group up on the left."

"Who're you?" someone shouted. "Why should we listen to you!"

"Wait, that's Lord Wolfsbane, the goddesses champion!"

"Please, help us Lord Wolfsbane, my daughter has the grip!"

Izuku felt panicked, taking half a step back as people pressed close to him. Then there was a deafening bang, and people let out cries of alarm.

"You are all being very rude! You should listen to Izuku! He said go to the right if you are sick, left if you are not! No, his right, pay attention! Stop being dumb!" Hatsume lectured as she began to push people into line. "Don't make me use another one of my babies to get your attention, the next one won't just be a flashbang!"

"You should do what they say," Megumin said, coming to stand by Izuku. "Aqua's going to be a while, but she'll come back, don't worry. Just make sure you have some drinks or something, she gets thirsty and bored really quickly."

"It's the Goddess Megumin!"

"The Dark Lady who can destroy armies at a word!"

That finally got everyone's attention, and with some mild jostling and grumbling, everyone got into a semblance of lines.

"What's all this then?" a guardsman called, hurrying over with a torch. "What the devil are you people doing out of bed so late? Is there a fire?"

"It's the goddesses! They've come to grant us their blessings!"

The guardsman blinked, then looked up at Izuku. "Good gods, Lord Midoriya? They've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Um, hi," Izuku said, waving lamely. "We, er, are on a holy mission?"

The guardsman nodded. "I suppose so. Don't fret milord, the city watch will keep order from here."

Which was how Izuku ended up spending the night in the city slums. After another hour of the city watch coming to investigate, a group of clergy also showed up, which caused Aqua to harrang them for a solid ten minutes.

"How can you claim to be part of my priesthood if you're just sitting on your lazy asses! The Axis cult gets shit DONE, do you understand me?! Now you fat fuckers get out there and start healing the sick, or so help me I'll remove your blessings and have Megumin curse you all!" she finished after a long and increasingly profane rant.

"I only know one curse," Megumin growled. "And it is the Curse of Explosion! You are not moving, so I shall begin. Darkness, blacker than night, crimson redder than blood, heed my call and-"

The archbishops, high priests, and other high church officials broke into a run, scattering throughout the slums and beginning to hand out free healings to those in need.

"Lord Midoriya?"

Izuku looked up to see Count Blois looking at him worriedly. "Are you well?"

"Um, yeah, sorry, just kinda tired," Izuku yawned. Mei was snoring on his shoulder, having fallen asleep nearly an hour ago. Izuku didn't know the time, but he figured it had to be close to dawn.

"Come on then, lad. The goddesses might not need sleep, but you do. Come, we've a carriage for you."

Izuku didn't remember much after that, but the next thing he knew, he was in bed with Hatsume. A part of him wondered if that was proper, but the other half affirmed something for him: Her boobs really were pretty great.