A/N: A shorter one, sorry! Flufftober is consuming my soul and putting long-form fics on the back burner.
Leliana was overjoyed. Cullen watched stonily as she closed the blinds to the meeting room before rounding on him to give a smile that was just too close to smugness for him to be happy with it. It was just the three of them this morning, Cassandra off furthering their cause elsewhere. Ordinarily he might've felt underdressed, having turned up in jeans, a shirt, and a pair of worn boots while Leliana and Josephine were dressed in their usual impeccably sleek suits. But he would not be here for long, and he now had to care about attracting too much notice (or at least cause to care about attracting it), and people spotting him prowling around in fine suits would raise more questions than this. He was being a grey man. That suited him. Ordinarily, grey men did not go about seducing foreign princesses.
"The announcement went up on social media last night. Have you seen the posts? Instagram? Facebook? Twitter?" Leliana questioned him.
"Not if I can help it," he replied flatly.
"Well you should, because it allows you to gauge how the mission goes."
"Or it makes me look like an opportunist when such things are detected in my browsing history."
"That won't be a problem so long as you stick to the Inquisition-issued laptop. Solas set it all up to be quite undetectable. Evidence free."
"Oh, good."
They ignored his gripe.
"Here," Leliana bent over the sleek laptop at the head of the table, her red bob falling about her face as she typed for a few brief moments "Josie?"
At Leliana's indication, Josephine crossed the room to the projector screen and turned it on. And then Cullen was greeted with the sight of his own face, a slight smirk on his lips as he clasped his hands behind his back and watched as Princess Evelyn climbed from her car. The post was a series of videos, snippets from the day, a couple of candid photographs, and then finally a poster with the charity's logo, name, and information on where to find them if their services were needed, along with how to donate.
"The comments are already filled with speculation as to the two of you - nothing substantial, of course, mainly just excitement over what a handsome couple you would make," Josephine said.
"Maker's breath," Cullen scoffed "They say that about whatever man happens to be within arm's length of her at any given time."
"So you have been reading them," Josephine said triumphantly.
Well. She had him caught there, didn't she?
"A handful, in the beginning, to gauge what I was dealing with," he said unhappily "I do not make a habit of it."
"Truthfully speaking, it might be best if you do not. The posts, yes, but not the comments," she admitted, making a face as she thought the matter over "For one not so well versed in matters such as these - no offence-"
"None taken," he said flatly, and meant it.
If anything, he took it as a compliment. He could begrudgingly see this whole thing as a necessary evil - especially if it didn't blow up in their faces, and especially if it ended up helping them thwart the Dreadwolf in the end - but he wasn't Leliana, nor one of her people. Cloak and dagger was not something he delighted in, nor would he ever.
"-It would be easy for the comments to go to your head, were you to begin obsessing over them…you may end up looking far more calculated than we'd like. Your browsing history may not give you away, but that would. In the end."
"They say I'm not cheerful enough, I start smiling more when the cameras are around. They say I'm too stand-offish, I begin looking too familiar. They realise I'm reading, and adjusting accordingly, and that I'm therefore not being genuine."
"Precisely," Josephine nodded "We'd only need a few occasions like that before they'd piece together the timing."
"There are those on the internet who live for this sort of thing. They'd begin to plant seeds purely to see if they might grow. Say you look terrible in red to see if you wear blue to the next event, so on," Leliana added "The moment you stoke their suspicion is the moment you lose their trust, and as of late the Marches' Royal Family lives and dies by public opinion. If they didn't, she'd still be with Alistair."
If not for his Arls.
"Do they truly have nothing better to do?" Cullen rolled his eyes rather than dredging up Ferelden politics for debate "Families? Hobbies? Lives?"
"Some of them, no," Leliana admitted freely.
"But," Josephine cut in "It would be a mistake to dismiss them all so readily "For the time being, Princess Evelyn is their darling. They feel protective over her."
"They don't know her!"
"Be that as it may, they feel like they do," Josephine said "After King Alistair, any man in her life will find himself beneath the magnifying glass of internet sleuths. As well as some real life ones, in the employ of the palace."
"Do you think her undeserving of the public's protectiveness?" Leliana interrupted before Cullen could respond "That they've been deceived in some way into caring?"
"It's not that," he sighed "If I think her undeserving, it's in the same way that someone would be undeserving of illness or injury. The same way I would say most people are undeserving of such things. If some stranger approached you in the street, and told you who you should or should not spend your time with, you'd have more than a few choice words for them. She cannot. They're not concerned, they're the peanut gallery. The whole thing is a farce."
"And, like it or not, you must play to them," Josephine finished - although sympathy laced her tone.
"I know," he said flatly "And I will."
Any theories he might've had about himself being the only one out of the three of them who felt any guilt over this whole charade was quashed when she dipped her head in response, smoothing a hand over her sleek black bun, her lips pursed.
"You're meeting again next week, yes?" Leliana asked.
"For the first of two fundraisers. The first to drum up support and awareness from the public, and the second - at a later date - for the upper crust. Once we've made enough of a name for ourselves for them to have any sort of preliminary interest."
"We'll worry about that second one when the time comes," Josephine said - visibly more worried than Cullen was "But I shall be able to attend that one, at least, to guide you."
Cullen wasn't sure that reassured him - if anything, Josephine's presence would only place a beaming strip of sunlight directly over that magnifying glass that he was supposedly under. But she meant well, and he kept his mouth shut.
"What's planned for the first?"
"Activities - games. With Princess Evelyn, patients, families of patients, staff, and some other members of the public. All very casual. All very good photo opportunities. A slightly more formal dinner afterwards, but still nothing particularly…"
"Royal?" Josephine supplied when he struggled to find the word.
"Stuffy," Cullen corrected.
"So, royal," Leliana joked.
He didn't much have it in him to laugh. Especially not when she continued.
"You'll have to make your move soon."
"Isn't that my call? Down to my judgement?"
"I'm not asking you to drag her into an alcove and ravish her."
"Thank Andraste for that."
"Why? She's very beautiful."
"That is not what we're debating," Cullen groaned "What am I? A-a horse? I don't care who I'm flung at so long as she has a nice mane and a glossy coat?"
Josephine pressed her lips together - but he could see it was mostly in an attempt to stop herself from laughing. Surprisingly, it made him feel somewhat better. At least he was not the only one who could see the absurdity in this whole thing.
"You're right, you're right," Leliana relented, although she didn't appear very apologetic "But this sort of thing, though reliant on the people involved, has a very distinct rhythm to it. It varies, but it's there. If you wait too long without making any sort of overture, it fizzles out and you're relegated to being a sometimes-colleague. Little more."
"I know that. I- I flirted," how he hated saying that bloody word, cringe-inducing beyond all else "-at that first luncheon."
"You did," Leliana nodded "And taking her to that rooftop was a stroke of genius. You saw her vulnerable, which none of her other colleagues tend to do. I even believe she flirted back, judging by what you wrote in your email."
That wasn't why he'd done it. He was being human, not some underhanded manipulator. But he didn't say that - he didn't argue that point, because it wouldn't help. Like it or not, he'd signed up to be an underhanded manipulator, and on that occasion being human had helped the manipulation. It somehow discomfited him more than any actual ploys had thus far - accomplishing the goal accidentally. Perhaps it was easier to think he could be manipulative in such a manner when forced to be so, but not accidentally so. Not naturally so.
"But," Leliana continued "Now it is time for more. As I said, not a lot more. Something simple. Invite her to lunch - or to dinner. Coffee, even. Talk about things beside the charity. Your foot is already in the door…ease a leg in."
Cullen grimaced. Maker help him when the day came that she asked him to ease something else in.
A/N: Tumblr - esta-elavaris