A/N: This one...this one has something that I think some of you have been waiting for. Abbey takes a major step towards dealing with her emotional state, Jed loses his temper, and Millie snaps at Abbey. Hope you enjoy! As always, I own nothing.

Over the next few weeks, it was such a common occurrence for Jed to sneak into their room in the evenings that Millie very nearly suggested that he keep a suitcase of clothing so that he wouldn't have to make a mad dash across campus early in the mornings. Abbey always slept better when he was next to her, which made her a much more pleasant person to be around, so Millie certainly wasn't going to complain, but she couldn't help finding the entire situation slightly infuriating. It wasn't that she minded Jed's presence in their room or even that she minded leaving most days to give them time alone, but the fact that it was necessary at all.

She knew Jed harboured extremely strong feelings about the former professor who had assaulted his girlfriend, though he was always careful to keep them from Abbey, and as they sat talking while they waited for Abbey to finish showering, she shook her head slowly.

"You know you can't keep this up forever, don't you?"

Jed sighed, nodding.

"I know. I've been thinking about seeing if maybe she would go talk to a psychiatrist with me. At least then she wouldn't be alone."

Millie frowned.

"Have you thought about it for yourself? It might help."

He shook his head, glancing at the door, wondering what was taking Abbey so long. Women…

"No, I'm not the one who is suffering. Abbey needs it more than I do. It can wait."

"Jed, you can't take care of Abbey if you aren't taking care of yourself. You're no use to her if you burn out. I know you're worried, but—"

"Of course I'm worried," he snapped, a bit more harshly than he meant to, "Every night, I have to watch Abbey fight her own psyche about a situation that should have never even happened! He should have never touched her and he damn sure shouldn't have been following her around campus. He watched her, Millie! Waiting until he knew he wouldn't be seen or she would be alone. He threatened her, made her feel like she couldn't even leave her room, and she's still so scared that she jumps at every shadow! I can't take that away, I can't make her nightmares stop, and it really pisses me off that there's nothing I can do!"

In spite of the tense situation, Millie smiled, looking at him knowingly, shifting slightly on her bed to be more comfortable.

"When are you going to tell her?"

Jed frowned.

"Tell her what? That I want to strangle Howson with my bare hands? Pretty sure she already knows."

Millie laughed.

"Trust me, everyone knows that. If you weren't a former priest-in-training, you would scare the hell out of me with how protective you are. Actually, come to think of it, that just makes it even scarier. To think that you, of all people, would actively consider violence. I wasn't talking about that, though. When are you going to tell her that you love her? It's as obvious as the day is long."

Running his hand through his hair, Jed carefully considered her question, shaking his head after several moments.

"I don't know, Millie. I—"

The door swung open, Abbey walking through the door trying desperately to dry her hair with a massive towel, and she frowned when she noticed them both staring at her.

"What?" she asked, "Did I walk all the way here completely naked?"

"No, but I think that's a fantastic idea," Jed said before he could stop himself, "Has anyone ever told you that you're brilliant?"

Abbey laughed, rolling her eyes as she tossed the towel at him, throwing herself on her bed as soon as she was close.

"Jed," she said seriously, "You would have been a terrible priest."

He laughed, leaning over to kiss her lightly.

"Only if you were a part of my congregation."

As much as she wanted to stay locked in her dorm room with an unlimited supply of alcohol, Abbey forced herself to go to class each day, determined to keep her grades where they had always been. Her concentration had improved significantly since Jed had been sneaking into her room to help her feel safe enough to sleep at night, but she knew that it wasn't a permanent solution. She'd seen the exhaustion in his eyes each time she woke screaming in the middle of the night, and she simply didn't have the heart to continue to put his health at risk just for a few hours of sleep.

She'd been turning the idea of therapy over in her head ever since Millie had mentioned it, but she couldn't shake the feeling of failure that accompanied it, making her feel as though she was making a big deal out of the situation. Still, she couldn't deny that there was a problem, anyone who looked at her closely could see that she was hanging on by a mere thread, and as she sat down across from Jed one evening at their usual library table, she sighed.

"Jed?"

"Yeah?"

He didn't so much as glance at her, his attention on the book he was currently studying, and she rolled her eyes in amusement.

"I've decided to become a nun. At least one of us should dedicate our life to the church, and since you've embraced a life of sin, it definitely can't be you."

He nodded, still reading.

"That's great, honey."

She smirked, trying again.

"But before I do that, I should really live my life to the fullest, so we should have sex right here on this table in full view of anyone who walks by."

"Mhmm…" Jed muttered, scrawling a sentence hastily in the margin of his notebook.

Sensing that she wasn't going to get anywhere this way, Abbey reached out to cover the page he was reading, almost daring him to ignore her now.

"Jed! Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Of course I did," he lied, giving her a smile as he finally looked at her.

She glared at him, shaking her head.

"What did I say?"

He pretended to think for a moment before finally shaking his head in defeat, reaching to take her hand in his.

"Okay, so I didn't. But whatever it was, I'm sure it was brilliant."

Abbey laughed quietly.

"I've been thinking," she said slowly, "Maybe Millie's right. Maybe I should consider seeing a professional."

Jed watched her carefully, trying to judge her emotions, but there were so many different ones flickering through her eyes that he couldn't accurately narrow them down. He waited, sensing that she had more she wanted to say, and when she sighed, he noticed that her hand was shaking.

"I can't keep putting you through this," she said, "and I know that it's making life difficult for Millie too, so…I've never done this before, though. What do I do?"

He ran his thumb over her hand, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Just be honest. Do you want me to go with you?"

Abbey shook her head.

"No. This is something I need to do on my own."

As he leaned across the table to kiss her, Jed didn't think he had ever been prouder of her than he was at that moment.

"What brings you in today, Miss Barrington?"

It was such a simple question, yet it filled Abbey with a sense of shame so strong that she very nearly stood up and walked out of the office right then and there. But, the longer she thought about it, the more she reasoned that it wouldn't be fair to Jed if she quit before she had even started and so she took a deep breath, steadying herself.

"I...I haven't been sleeping well, and it's starting to affect every part of my life. I can't focus, my hands shake all the time, and I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is ready to murder me because I keep biting his head off over every little thing."

The therapist looked at her over his glasses, studying her intently for a moment, and when he finally nodded, he gave her a concerned look.

"Do you have any ideas of what might be causing your sleeping issues?"

She nodded.

"I have nightmares every single night. Or, well...one nightmare. It's always the same. And every time it happens, I either wake up screaming or crying. Or both."

She laughed bitterly.

"My roommate is probably ready to suffocate me with a pillow."

"Has something happened recently in your life to trigger these nightmares?"

"I…" she paused, trying to keep her voice from trembling, "I was assaulted four months ago. By someone I should have been able to trust. Every time I go to sleep, I dream about it, but the nightmare is so much worse than what actually happened, and it makes me feel like I'm going crazy. Compared to the things other girls have had to go through, this wasn't anything to get so upset about, but I can't seem to forget it."

"May I ask what happened? You don't have to go into extreme detail, but it might help me gain a better insight of what you're experiencing."

Abbey glanced at him, this man who had dedicated his entire life's work to helping others, and finally nodded. Jed was right: she just needed to be honest. She began to recount the assault, painfully slowly as she tried to keep from crying, beginning with the first incident in Howson's classroom, her entire body shaking. She kept her eyes focused on a slight unevenness in the carpet flooring, unsure of why she couldn't make eye contact, and her hands twisted nervously in her lap as she spoke.

By the time she had finished, her tears had fallen from her eyes, dripping onto her skirt, and it wasn't until several minutes had passed that she realized he was waiting for her to continue.

"That's all. I know I'm just making this out to be more of a big deal than it is and that I should be able to just move on with my life, but—"

"Why should you?" he interrupted gently, "May I call you Abigail?"

She shook her head.

"Abbey is fine."

"Abbey, you may not have won the—how did your roommate word it—traumatic Olympics, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't a traumatic event. These things take time to heal from, and I know that it might not seem like it now, but you will heal from it. Once enough time has passed and you begin to feel safe again, these nightmares should stop. You're not overreacting and the fact that you feel as though you are tells me a lot about who you are as a person. In fact, you didn't mention even once that you were here to heal from the trauma for yourself. You only mentioned your roommate and your boyfriend, which indicates to me that you care about their well-being more than your own."

Abbey raised her eyes, meeting his for the first time since she had walked into his office, and he gave her a warm smile.

"Putting others before yourself is an admirable thing, Abbey. But you are never going to move past this if you keep ignoring it. It will continue to linger in the back of your mind, and it could end up costing you the two people you seem to care about the most. I'm willing to help you process this, but you're going to have to trust me and put in the work. And you have to do it for yourself. Not your boyfriend, not your roommate. You. Can you do that?"

After several long moments of consideration, Abbey nodded, and wiped her hand under her eyes slowly.

"Good," he replied, "Now, I'm afraid we're almost out of time, but before you leave here today, I want to tell you something that I think you need to hear. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help when you need it. And if you need to scream, or cry, or even just sit in a dark room by yourself for a few hours, do it. Take time to really process the events and the emotions that they caused you to feel."

He stood, walking around to the other side of the desk, and held out his hand, giving her a reassuring smile as she accepted it.

"And remember, Abbey: it's okay sometimes if the only thing you accomplish in a day is breathing."

Jed couldn't deny that he was extremely curious about what had happened during Abbey's first psychiatric appointment, but he didn't dare ask her, knowing that she would confide in him when and if she wanted to. He instead focused his attention on the nagging question that Millie had asked him earlier in the week. Everyone, it seemed, knew that he loved Abbey more than he had ever loved anyone, but he was terrified of saying it out loud, sure that it would be just one more thing that would add to her stress level. But each day he spent with her it became more obvious that he wouldn't be able to keep it to himself for much longer, and as he saw her walking back towards her dorm room, he smiled.

He had to tell her. Quickening his steps, he hoped he would be able to catch her before she disappeared into the building and he called her name, hoping she was close enough to hear him.

"Abbey!"

She turned, waving at him as he came to a stop next to her, kissing her cheek lightly.

"How did it go?"

She smiled, thinking for a moment.

"It was okay," she replied, her voice lighter than he had heard in days, "I think I'm going to like Dr. Harris. He's nice. I have another session next week."

Jed smiled, happy that she seemed to be having a good day. He just hoped he wasn't about to ruin it.

"Do you have a minute to talk? I know you've got your Biology class soon, but—"

"Jed, I always have time for you. Unless you really didn't mean talk and it was a euphemism," she said with a laugh.

He shook his head, a laugh of his own escaping him.

"Not this time, babe."

Leading her to the other side of the building where they often sat gazing at the trees, he held her hand in his, trying to prepare himself for what he was about to say. He could see the worry building in Abbey's eyes, and he gestured for her to sit, ignoring the pounding of his heart in his chest as he joined her on the ground.

"I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time, but the moment never felt right. I didn't want to say it until I was absolutely sure, and I didn't want you to think for a second that I was saying it as a way to make you feel better or that I don't mean it, but I'm going to tell you now, and I hope it doesn't ruin things between us."

He leaned closer, running his hand through her hair as he kissed her, pulling back to look into her eyes.

"I love you, Abbey. You don't have to say it back, but I just needed you to know that."

She stared at him for only a moment before grabbing his jacket in her hands, pulling him in for a kiss that he was sure scorched his very soul, and when she finally spoke again, there was no mistaking the warmth in her voice.

"I love you, Jed Bartlet. So damn much."

Millicent Griffith jumped when the door to her dorm room bounced off the wall as it was thrown open by Abigail Barrington, frowning at the large bag she was carrying in her arms.

"Did you rob a bank?" she asked dryly.

Abbey rolled her eyes, carefully placing the bag on her desk, lifting a bottle of wine out of its depths, throwing her hair over her shoulder.

"If you can't be nice to me, then you don't get to share."

"What's all this for? Are you planning on throwing a party and conveniently forgot to tell me about it?"

"We are celebrating, my dear Millie. This is a truly wonderful day."

Millie was almost certain, judging by her mood, that Abbey had already started her celebration without her, but she merely laughed, happy to see her smile.

"What's the occasion?"

"Jed loves me."

Instead of the excitement she had expected, Abbey was surprised to find Millie simply staring at her as though she were the stupidest person alive. She frowned, searching her desk drawer for the corkscrew she had bought a few weeks earlier.

"What?"

"You just now realized that? Abbey, even a blind man could see how much Jed loves you. Exactly how insane are you?"

Abbey pouted for a moment, popping the cork from the bottle, and tipping it back as she took a long drink.

"Fine. No celebration for you. I'll just drink all this wonderful wine by myself. And for your information, he just told me an hour ago. So, while everyone else may have suspected it, I now have definitive proof."

Millie shook her head, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"Did you really need it? He's here every night helping you through the nightmares, he spends almost every moment of his free time with you, I don't think he's gone more than one day without seeing you since the day you broke up with Ron six months ago."

Abbey paused, the wine bottle halfway to her lips, and frowned as she considered Millie's words. Of course, she hadn't actually needed Jed to say the words, no matter how beautiful they were to hear, and she suddenly felt like a bitch. She placed the bottle back down on her desk, thinking hard as she sat down on her bed.

"You're right," she said softly.

Without so much as a glance in Millie's direction, Abbey suddenly jumped up from her bed, crossing the room determinedly and as the door shut behind her, Millie wondered what in the hell had just happened.

"Hey, Abbey. Jed's not here. He's taking a shower."

Abbey gave Jeremy a smile, shaking her head, not wanting to admit that she had waited specifically until she had seen Jed leave their room to knock on the door.

"It's okay. Can you give him a message for me?"

Jeremy nodded.

"Sure. Do I need to write it down?"

"No," she laughed, "Just tell him that I had a few things to take care of, that I'll see him in a few days, and that I love him."

"I'll tell him as soon as he comes back."

She smiled, hugging him briefly before she took a step away from the door, knowing she didn't have much time before Jed would return.

"Thanks."

Jed couldn't hide his shock as Jeremy relayed Abbey's message, looking at him as though he were speaking a foreign language he'd never heard of.

"You're sure she said a few days?"

"Yep," Jeremy said confidently, "She said she had things to take care of, but she wanted you to know she loves you."

Of all the things he had expected when he had returned from his shower, this sure as hell hadn't been one of them. What could Abbey possibly be doing that would take her away from campus for a few days and more importantly, why hadn't she mentioned it when she'd seen him earlier that day? What was she thinking?

Abbey knew, logically, that what she was doing had the potential to be extremely detrimental to her emotional state, but she would have never forgiven herself if she hadn't tried. After gathering her upcoming assignments from her professors, she had quietly snuck out of her dorm room, leaving Millie a short note so she wouldn't worry, and left the campus entirely. Calling a cab had been surprisingly easy given the late hour of the evening, and after she had checked into the hotel in the next town over, she took a deep breath.

She glanced curiously around the hotel room, feeling strangely comforted by the beige walls, and she sat gingerly down on the bed, closing her eyes tiredly. This was the first step to processing the assault: acknowledging the events and dealing with the emotions. She could see the incident in her mind's eye, as clearly as if she were watching a movie, and as she replayed every moment, she felt her body begin to shake.

For the first time since it had happened, she made no attempt to push the fear from her mind, allowing it to consume her, and when she leaned forward, dropping her head in her hands, she wasn't surprised to feel the wetness of tears on her skin. She could still hear Howson's angrily whispered threats in her ear, still feel the way his fingers had dug into her arm as she had grabbed her at the library and on the campus walk path, making the shaking in her hands intensify.

"You're safe," she whispered to herself, "It's okay, it's okay."

The moment passed, leaving her to collapse weakly on the mattress, pulling her knees up to her chest, burying her face in the pillows as she sobbed, no longer caring if there was anyone nearby to hear her. She didn't know how much time had passed when her tears finally showed some sign of slowing, and when she was able to catch her breath, she ran her hand shakily through her tangled hair. As much as she wished Jed were there to offer her his support, she knew she had done the right thing by giving him even a days' worth of peace, reasoning that he deserved a break from her and the insanity that seemed to follow her.

Though she had brought her assignments with her, she didn't feel up to so much as looking at a single piece of paper, and she stood from the bed just long enough to pull back the blankets, crawling between the sheets fully dressed, too exhausted to even change into her sweatpants. As the sun began to set and shadows crept along the walls, Abbey felt a stab of fear, though it lasted only a moment, and when she closed her eyes again, she felt her tears falling onto her face.

How many tears could one person cry?

Though she tossed and turned fitfully throughout the night, she managed to sleep almost a full eight hours, waking only because she had gotten cold as a result of kicking off the blanket as she dreamt and when she woke to find bright sunlight streaming through the window, she couldn't help but smile. She had a massive headache from the amount of tears she had cried the previous night, but it had worked. She stretched slowly, feeling better than she had in…hell, she didn't even know how long, and as she swung her feet to the floor, she thought of Jed.

She hoped he wasn't angry with her for leaving without telling him goodbye, but she knew it had been a necessary step in her healing process. Whether he would see it that way or not remained to be seen, but she decided that she would deal with any potential consequences when and if they arose. One thing at a time.

"And she was just gone?" Jed asked, looking at Millie incredulously.

Millie nodded, handing him the note she had found on her bed the day before. The writing was rushed, but unmistakably Abbey's, and he frowned as he read it over and over, as though he were trying to decipher some secret code.

Millie,

I'll be back soon. Don't worry and please give my love to Jed, because we both know he'll come to you for answers.

Love,

Abbey

"Where is she?" Jed wondered out loud, handing her the note.

Millie shook her head, looking at him seriously.

"No idea. She was so happy the last time I saw her. She'd brought a bottle of wine to celebrate, and I told her that everyone knew how much you loved her because it was obvious by the way you've been taking care of her and—oh, shit…Jed, I'm sorry."

Jed frowned, looking at her worriedly.

"What?"

"I think this is my fault," she said softly, "I told her that she should have already known that you loved her without it being said. I told her that you probably hadn't spent more than one day apart in the last six months, especially since you've been here at night to help her sleep and that you basically spend all your free time with her. I swear, I didn't mean anything by it, but I think she might have misunderstood what I meant. I just meant that it was sweet and that you really care about her. I didn't know she would just disappear like this. I'm so sorry, Jed."

"Damn it, Millie! You knew she'd been feeling guilty about all of this, and you said that to her?! No wonder she ran."

"I didn't mean it the way it sounded, Jed! How was I supposed to know she would react this way?"

"How could you not know?" Jed knew his worry was presenting itself as anger, but he couldn't stop himself, "She feels like she's an inconvenience to everyone around her and you just basically confirmed that for her, regardless of the fact that it isn't true! She already feels bad enough about waking you up every night and about me worrying about her, and you just told her 'Hey, guess what, Abbey? You're right, you are a burden to everyone else!'. Now she's out there, doing God knows what, and I have no idea if she's okay!"

He slammed his hand against the wall, turning on his heel and storming from the room before Millie could even form a response. She knew that she'd chosen her words poorly, but she'd never expected that Abbey would simply leave. As she sat down on her bed, she ran her hand through her hair, hoping that Abbey would return sooner rather than later. If not for her own sake, then for the man who loved her more than life itself.

As Abbey unpacked the few belongings she had brought with her to the hotel, she couldn't help the feeling of nervous excitement coursing through her veins at the thought of seeing Jed again. She knew he was likely going to be furious with her for leaving with only a vague explanation, but she hoped that when she gave him the more detailed version, he would understand. To her surprise and relief, she had managed to sleep through the night for two consecutive days following her arrival at the hotel, and had only cried a handful of times, which she considered a major improvement.

She had deliberately waited until she was certain that Millie had already left for her evening class before returning to their room, preferring to save that particular fight for a later time, and she looked around the small space with a smile. Though she knew there was no guarantee, she felt as though she was finally ready to leave the pain of the last few months behind her, and she hastily shoved her bag back under her bed.

Turning in her assignments could wait. Right now, she had someone much more important to see.

Abbey's hand was shaking slightly as she knocked on Jed's door, silently praying that Jeremy had already gone to whichever party he had decided to attend that night. It dimly occurred to her that Jed might not even be there, but she had to start somewhere. She cursed the rain outside for drenching her clothing and hair as she had run to the building, but she had simply been too anxious to wait. The door swung open, Jed standing before her in an old sweatshirt and sweatpants, staring at her for a fraction of a second before wrapping his arms around her. He kissed her hard before she'd even had a chance to speak, not caring in the least about her wet appearance, lifting her slightly off her feet.

"Where the hell were you?" he asked as soon as they had separated.

"May I come in?"

He stepped back to allow her entrance, and the door had barely closed behind him before she kissed him again, tangling her hands in his hair.

"It's been killing me not to be able to do that for three days," she said softly.

"You had me worried sick, you know," Jed said, "and now because of you, I have to apologize to Millie."

Abbey frowned as he led her over to his bed.

"Why?"

"I…may have yelled at her for the things she said to you the night you left."

"You may have?" Abbey repeated, raising her eyebrows at him.

He shrugged.

"Okay, fine. I did. I told her that she should have known better than to say what she did and that it was no wonder that you left after that."

"Oh, Jed…" her annoyance was clear, "You definitely owe her an apology. It wasn't Millie's fault. She was right. I needed to deal with my own emotions and stop making them everyone else's problem. That wasn't fair to anyone."

"But I want you to come to me with things like this, Abbey. I love you, and I'm not just talking about the happy easy part. That includes the bad days and everything that comes with them."

Abbey smiled, still unused to hearing him say he loved her.

"I know," she said gently, "but that can't be all we are. If all you're ever doing is sacrificing something for me, that would make our relationship incredibly one-sided, don't you think? That wouldn't make you my boyfriend, it would make you my psychiatrist and I already have one of those. I needed to figure this out on my own and I knew if I had access to you, I would never be able to."

Jed frowned, confused by her thought process.

"Why not?"

"Because as much as it scares me, I need you and I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from running to you when it got hard."

"You don't need anyone, honey," he told her seriously, "You were just fine before you met me, and you're incredible all on your own."

"Maybe," Abbey said quietly, "But now that I know what I was missing, I don't think I could live without you. I love you too much to even think about it."

Reaching for her hand, Jed kissed her softly, his voice warm as he spoke.

"While I appreciate the sentiment, you're stronger than you think you are. But for what it's worth, I love you too much to ever make you have to think about it."

Abbey kissed him again, her tongue sweeping into his mouth, making up for lost time, and when he tipped her back onto the mattress, her hands immediately went to his waist, pulling him closer.

"How much time do you have until Jeremy comes back?" she asked quietly.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, he did some quick math in his head.

"About an hour and forty-five minutes."

She smiled, kissing him again.

"I can work with that."

She quickly reached for his shirt, tossing it onto the floor, and as his hands slid under her own wet clothing, his warmth chased away the chill brought on by the rain. His lips on her body set her skin ablaze, making her breath catch in her throat, and as he unhooked her bra, he dipped his tongue into the hollow near her collarbone. Her hands moved to grip his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as he moved his right hand under her skirt, thankful for the loose fabric. He had never been more thankful that Jeremy liked to spend his time partying as he was at that moment, and as he reached for the zipper on the back of her skirt, he looked at her seriously.

"I love you, Abbey."

She kissed him hard, biting down on his bottom lip carefully.

"Prove it," she quipped with a smile.

His mouth crashed against hers, his hands pulling her skirt down her legs, and when she shoved his sweatpants to the ground, she suddenly looked at him, her eyes slightly apprehensive.

"Jed, we don't have to do this," she said softly, "I was only kidding when I told you to prove it."

Jed nodded, reaching over her for the unopened box of condoms sitting on his bedside table, tearing the package open quickly.

"I know."

He kissed her again, removing her underwear slowly, kicking his own to the growing pile of clothing on the floor, and as he slid his fingers into her, she moaned into his mouth. He smiled when he felt her body jerk beneath him, brushing his thumb over her clit, and as he moved his lips to her throat, he could taste her racing pulse.

"Abbey…" his voice was rough, "if this isn't what you want, tell me now."

"Don't stop," Abbey whispered, "For the love of God, Jed…don't stop."

Pausing just long enough to properly put on the condom (something that was much more difficult than he had expected), he carefully entered her, not wanting to accidentally hurt her. The low moan that graced his ears told him that she didn't mind, and as he rolled his hips against hers, he leaned down to kiss her, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth. He moved his left hand to her breast, rolling the nipple between his fingers, and as her hips met his, she tangled her hand in his hair. Her lips trailed along his throat, and she ran her tongue along the shell of his ear, making his rhythm falter for a brief moment, and when he found it again, he slammed his hips against hers harder than he intended.

"Fuck," she whispered, "Do that again."

He did as she asked, earning a low moan of his name, and he knew, just by the way her breathing had grown faster, that she was close to the edge. She gasped his name as she came, a sound that was a cross between a scream and a moan falling from her lips. He continued at his fast pace, kissing her just as her fingers slipped on his sweat-slicked skin, and he felt his own orgasm like a freight train, making the entire world disappear for several long moments. When he could finally think clearly again, he looked at Abbey, his hand shaking as he reached to entwine their fingers together.

"Jed…"

"Yeah?" his voice was a ragged whisper.

"I love you."

He smiled, kissing her forehead gently, breathing in the scent of perfume, sex, and rain.

"I love you, too," he said gently, "and I think I just proved it."

Abbey laughed breathlessly, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair.

"Damn right you did."

When she crept back into her darkened dorm room, Abbey couldn't keep the smile from her face as she thought about the intimate moment she had just shared with Jed, and it vaguely occurred to her that their entire dynamic had now been changed forever. She knew that not everyone felt the same, but sex had always been an emotional act for her, at least the first initial time in a relationship, and she would have bet all the money she had to her name that Jed was of the same mindset. She was still having trouble believing that it had, in fact, happened, and as she was trying to process this turn of events, the light beside Millie's bed clicked on, causing her to jump.

"God damn it, Millie! You just about gave me a heart attack!" she swore, glaring at her roommate.

Millie matched her glare with one of her own, shaking her head as she watched her cross the room.

"Consider us even, then."

Abbey knew she deserved it, but the remark still stung.

"Millie, I'm sorry—"

"I don't care if you're sorry," Millie snapped, "Do you have any idea how worried I was when I came back here and you had just vanished? Not to mention your pathetic attempt at an explanation. After everything that's happened in the last six months, especially knowing how you get when you're trying to function on zero hours of sleep, I didn't know if you had run off and gotten yourself killed! Jed was ready to call in the damn FBI to go out looking for you! I've never seen him so upset and for what? What was so damn important that you couldn't have just discussed it with us before you left? Be as sorry as you want, Abbey. You can drown in your sorrow if it makes you feel better, but don't expect me to just pretend like everything is fine."

Abbey was silent for a long moment, waiting until she was sure Millie had finished, then nodded.

"I know it doesn't make up for what happened, but would you at least let me explain?"

Even though Millie was so angry that Abbey could practically see her fury rolling off her in waves, she nodded once, leaning back on the wall behind her bed. Abbey sighed, sinking down onto her own bed, running her hand through her hair.

"I couldn't stand knowing that I was hurting you and Jed with how badly the nightmares were affecting me. My psychiatrist told me that the only way I could move past it was to actually face it instead of trying to pretend it hadn't happened. I needed to be alone, to confront it without any possibility of distraction, and I knew if I stayed here, I would just end up running to you or Jed. I spent three days trying to just fucking deal with it, and it was hell, but…it worked. I slept the entire night without nightmares for the first time in months. I'm finally starting to realize that I don't have to be scared all the time. It's not perfect, but it's a start. You have every right to be pissed at me, and I am so sorry for everything I've put you through. I don't care if you never forgive me, it doesn't change how much I love you."

Abbey watched her for a minute before dropping her gaze to her hands, her silence making it clear that she was still angry, and just as Abbey was preparing to stand, she heard Millie's voice, quiet and slightly sad.

"Damn you, Abbey…you know I can't stay mad at you."

A smile broke out across Millie's face as Abbey raised her eyes to hers, a relieved sigh falling from her lips.

"I really am sorry, Millie."

"I know. And I'm sorry, too. I knew you weren't okay, but it was just easier to be mad."

"So…are we okay?"

Millie nodded, standing up and crossing the room in three steps, throwing her arms around her friend, kissing her cheek.

"We're okay. But don't ever do something that stupid again."

Abbey laughed.

"I won't. And thank God you forgave me. I can't sleep with you to make you forgive me like I can with Jed."

Millie's eyes widened as she realized what Abbey had said, and she stared at her in disbelief.

"Wait…you slept with Jed? You let me rant at you, gave me the run-down of the last three days and didn't mention that you had sex with your boyfriend for the first time? Abigail Barrington, how dare you!"

Millie shoved her playfully, making her laugh harder than she had in days.

"Well? How was it? Details, woman!"

"It was good," Abbey replied vaguely, deliberately leading her on.

"Good? Abbey, you two can hardly keep your hands off each other when you're studying. It damn well have better been more than good."

Abbey burst into laughter, shaking her head as Millie grabbed her by the arm, shaking her for details.

"Okay, okay! It was incredible. Is that what you want to hear? It was a bit awkward at first, you know…these beds aren't exactly huge, and we didn't have a lot of time, but…"

"Did you…?" Millie trailed off suggestively, giving her a knowing smile.

Abbey nodded, burying her head in Millie's shoulder and she smiled.

"I'm telling you, Millie, that man would have never made it as a priest."

A/N: Thank you so much to the lovely reviewers who are kind enough to show their support! You have no idea how much it means to me!