"Well, if it ain't my favorite gal." Rodin calls over my shoulder. "Nice timing. Got a visitor here you might just be familiar with."
I sigh, the words only confirming what I already knew.
Of course I somehow chose the exact same time to visit as she did. I almost hope that Loptr really is actively trying to get me killed right now, because the alternative is that even with access to nigh-unlimited precognitive powers, I still somehow managed to get blindsided by this. I'll admit, I didn't explicitly check for the possibility of my conversation with Rodin getting interrupted this way, but given the sheer number of cautionary questions I asked the Right Eye beforehand, surely something would still have caused it to notify me that we'd be getting company...
Unless, perhaps, it couldn't?
I frown. Come to think of it, the Eyes of the World should be essentially equal to each other in power, which I'd assume would allow them to counter each other's abilities to some extent. In which case, is it possible that simply possessing one of the Eyes removes its owner from the scope of its counterpart's knowledge, rendering them a metaphorical "blind spot", similar to how I can't learn anything about Loptr or Loki?
I pose the question to the Right Eye, and receive no response from it whatsoever.
...going to take that as a "yes" then. Or, well, that could actually still be Loptr's fault, but it's the same end result either way, so the difference is basically academic. At least that means it wasn't my fault for missing this then, even as it makes it this already bad situation incalculably worse.
Should I maybe just get out of here and come back some other time? That would almost certainly be the safest option, but I've barely even had a chance to talk to Rodin just yet, and I don't know if I can necessarily afford to put that off. Not to mention, this confrontation is likely inevitable in the long run anyways, and the longer that I avoid it, the more misunderstandings are liable to arise in the meantime...
Ugh, fine. I suppose I've still got my emergency exit plan if I really need it, so let's see how this goes.
Footsteps sound from behind me, the *click-clack* of metallic heels against the wooden bar floor echoing throughout the room. As I hear them step down and transition onto the carpet behind me, I sigh again, then slowly turn around to face my fate.
As expected, standing behind me is Bayonetta, perhaps the one person in the world that I didn't want to see there. Somewhat less expected however is the fact that she apparently brought company, because standing right behind her is Jeanne, perhaps the only other person in the world that I didn't want to see there.
Well, this is just getting better and better.
Despite the witch directly in front of me likely being a bigger concern, I find my attention drifting towards Jeanne anyways, surprised by her presence for more than one reason. I mean, it hasn't even been a day since she was after Bayonetta's head, and already the two are back to being all chummy with each other? They certainly made up quickly... but then, perhaps that only makes sense. Jeanne was being brainwashed by Balder during all that after all, so once she broke free of it, her previous actions were undoubtedly a lot easier to forgive than they might have been otherwise. Probably also helps that if not for Jeanne's last-minute rescue, Balder's plan would have succeeded, and Bayonetta would currently be stuck inside my other eye.
...not quite sure how to feel about that, myself.
Tearing my gaze away from from the platinum blonde, I refocus on Bayonetta, and-wow this woman is tall. Last time I saw her she was smaller than my pinky finger, but from this perspective, she towers over me by more than a foot. She's still not quite as ludicrously proportioned as the games sort of implied, but she certainly doesn't need those heels... well, not for the extra inches at least, not that she really wears them for that anyways.
As I look Bayonetta up and down, I notice her doing much the same to me. Her eyes flicker first to my lengthy golden-blonde tresses, the silken strands cascading down my back in unnaturally perfect waves, followed by my myriad of ornate jewelry, which bedecks everything from my neck to my nails. Slowly, her gaze continues tracking over the rest of my outfit, until her purple-and-black glasses finally rise to meet my own red-and-gold ones, their curving, wing-like frames contrasting with her own more butterfly-inspired pair.
I wonder if she's thinking I intentionally stole the look? I didn't, but I'd certainly understand the sentiment if I was accused of such.
"Hmm..." Bayonetta hums, finally addressing me, "don't you look a little young to be visiting a place like this?"
Her tone is surprisingly teasing, given that I'll bet my divinity my "disguise" doesn't fool her for a second. Again, it wasn't even meant to act as one — my current look practically screams who I am to anyone in the know, from the curving crimson-and-gold lines running up my stark white jeans, to the shrunken red ribbon I'm presently using as a scarf, to the literal angel wing designs stitched into the sleeves of my perhaps overly fancy top. Due to the approach I chose to take with Rodin, I expected, even intended to be recognized as soon as I walked in, and thus made a conscious decision to leave my identity obvious at a glance.
Rather regretting that now.
"I'm older than I look." I reply, trying to keep a neutral tone.
"Oh?" Bayonetta remarks. "And how old might that be?"
I tilt my head slightly, playing along. "That's an awfully rude thing to ask someone you just met, don't you think? Old enough."
"Cereza," Jeanne says in a half-warning, half-frantic manner, guns already in hand, "she's-!"
Bayonetta holds up a hand, forestalling Jeanne's protests.
"You know, it was quite the task, getting down from that little bubble you left me in." Bayonetta continues, no less conversationally. "Leaving me high and dry like that... why, I almost felt as though I'd been stood up."
Bubble...?
Oh.
"Yeaaaaah, sorry about that." I apologize. "I actually was a little worried about how you'd handle reentry, truth be told. Figured you could handle yourself though, and obviously I was correct-"
I feel the barrel of the gun settle under my chin before I even notice she's moved, its partner already pressing into the back of my neck.
Witch time... right.
"Do drop the act already." Bayonetta says, dropping her own act as her tone suddenly turns deadly serious. "Now then, oh Creator, I take it you're here for me?"
Rather than respond, I decide to simply take a page out of the witch's own book — a moment's concentration, and everything around me seems to suddenly freeze, the world taking on a soft golden hue as time slows to a crawl.
Turnabout is fair play, no?
Pushing away Bayonetta's all-but-frozen form, I pluck the infernal pistols out of her and Jeanne's hands and walk away from the bar. Sitting down in a nearby chair, I place the quartet of guns at the center of the adjoining table, then take a moment to casually lean over on one of the seat's armrests before allowing time to resume its natural course.
"Actually, I'm here to try and find a way to evict the force of pure evil currently holed up in my right eye." I say, enjoying the surprise in Bayonetta's expression as she and Jeanne whirl around as one towards my new position. "My quote-unquote 'omniscience' doesn't seem to have an answer for that, so I thought perhaps I'd shop around for ideas."
Boy, I sure am good at acting blithe around some of the only beings in all of existence that may actually have a decent shot at killing God. Maybe the sheer absurdity of this situation as a whole is starting to get to me.
"On that note," I continue, gesturing to the confiscated guns at my side, "if we could perhaps keep our hands weapon-free for the moment, I'd very much appreciate-"
Jeanne and Bayonetta kick their right legs out at me in tandem, bullets immediately starting to fly from the secondary pistols attached to their heels. Thankfully I was prepared for that, and the shots slam into an invisible wall of ultra-dense air a few feet in front of me, sinking into it and losing all forward momentum before harmlessly dropping to the floor.
"Okay, could we PLEASE not do this?" I yell over the gunfire. "I am genuinely not interested in-"
Two dark portals appear in front of me before I can finish the sentence, from which a pair of enormous high-heeled feet come shooting out, the limbs of Madama Butterfly and Madama Styx breaking past my relatively weak shield like it's not even there.
Reacting mostly on instinct, I spring from my seat and slip between the stilettos, slapping them aside even as they rapidly begin to unravel on their own — but while I'm busy doing that, Bayonetta is already dropping through a portal in the floor, completely vanishing from view.
Remembering how this move works, I immediately form a swirling vortex of crackling violet energy over my head, expecting Bayonetta to come crashing down on it a moment later. That isn't what happens though, as her exit portal instead appears several yards away, and when she touches back down on the bar's floor, she's re-armed herself with the lengthy purple whip I know to be Kulshedra.
Caught off guard, I fail to react in time to prevent the snake-like weapon from lashing out and wrapping itself around me, binding my arms to my sides. It's reinforced by a near-identical pale green copy of itself a split second later, Vritra joining its cousin from the opposite end of the room and coiling around me so tightly that were I a normal human, my rib cage would likely have instantly crumpled inwards.
"I must say, after spending most of yesterday hearing over and over how you were going to grace me, I was expecting a rather more impressive payoff." Bayonetta quips.
My eyes narrow into a reproving glare.
"And I was expecting someone I might actually be able to reason with."
The whips wrapped around me both abruptly recoil as my body shines with coruscant light, the heads of the serpentic weapons hissing and spitting as the scales that touched me begin flaking off and disintegrating into tiny glimmering particles.
"Sadly however, reality does not always line up with our expectations." I finish, dusting myself off. "Now, could we please calm down and just talk for a moment?"
Seriously, I'm doing alright at defending myself so far, but since I can't use the Right Eye to predict Bayonetta, and probably wouldn't be able to use it at combat-applicable speeds even if I could, this is actually incredibly nerve-wracking. She's not wholly unreasonable, I know she's not, so if I can just get through to her that I truly have no interest in shoving her back into my left eye socket-
Kulshedra vanishes from Bayonetta's hands, only for a lightsaber to appear in its place, Pillow Talk humming loudly as energy pours off its glowing green blade.
"Oh, by all means, continue running your mouth." Bayonetta says. "Just don't expect it to be a very long conversation."
...alright, I tried. Time to get out of here before she and Jeanne start breaking out the grenade launchers.
I flex my will, reactivating God Speed — but Bayonetta continues moving, apparently having activated Witch Time at nearly the exact same moment. Not having realized that was even possible, I scramble to improvise a last-second defense as Pillow Talk comes screaming down at my skull-
A tattooed hand suddenly blurs in and catches Bayonetta's arm in a crushing hold, its owner seemingly unaffected by either of the time-slowing magics currently in effect.
"You girls need to goddamn chill."