Disclaimer: Alas, I still don't own Naruto, for if I did I would flesh out the female characters more.

A/N: I'm so sorry for how long it took to post there were so many obstacles that popped up: first with my new job and classes, then I ended up changing the direction of this chapter, and then I realized that I had a slight contradiction to the first chapter that somehow became a theme throughout this one. I've also come to realize that writing Sasuke's POV is actually so hard. I'm trying to keep his character as close to canon as possible, but I'll be damned if I don't say that I haven't watched Shippuden in 7 years. Buuut I do hope that you still like it. In canon we don't see a Sasuke that doesn't know about Konoha's hand in the massacre after killing Itachi. So in this chapter I'm trying to establish a Sasuke who never was told about the truth and how his emotions might be after killing his brother. I'm not too sure if I fully captured him correctly, but this is how I imagine it might go.

A/N: disclaimer - I don't know Japanese, so if the names mean something different than the ones that I googled please tell me!

"I should have died with them, why did you have to leave me behind, the pain of being alone is unbearable" - Sasuke Uchiha

Why had she answered honestly? Just a couple minutes before hadn't she hit Boruto for doing the same thing? Isn't that the first thing Sarada had learned in the academy? Something about identity, secret, and common sense? She watched as the light left the man's eyes. But it was only when Sarada had spoken her name, that she saw something spark within.

The man had swayed heavily on his knees, ready to fall over. She began to run, attempting to catch him before he hit the ground, only to be stopped by Boruto who now gripped her wrist. The raven-haired man hit the ground with a thud. Clouds of sand wafted up from the impact.

A tense air hung over the group, who were unsure of what to do next. Should they bring him to Suna now that the man was unconscious? Should they leave him? According to protocol, their priority had to be protecting Akio, but it didn't seem like his life was in any danger. Rather, the fallen man had been more interested in Sarada.

Two out of three members of team seven had a near detrimental sense of morality. Despite just being attacked, Boruto and Sarada couldn't just leave a hurt man on his own to survive in the desert. Besides, he hadn't seemed to be surviving much anyway when they first found him.

Sarada took hesitant steps forward, watching the man for any movement. Boruto followed close behind. He had become oddly protective of her since the birth of their team. Even though the two grew up together, they had never been all that close. Both were much too different to fall in the same circles. She was the shy girl and he was the popular one, but now things were different; now they had each other's back.

The man's body was broken, bruised, marred with sunburns, and struggling to keep itself alive. His back rhythmically moved up and down as he took small and shallow breaths. Every couple seconds there was a hitch as if even unconscious he was in a great deal of pain.

"Well, team lead? The decision is yours. What should we do with him?" Mitsuki had slipped toward them, trailing slightly behind. Akio and Yuuto followed as well, curious to see what was happening and why the trio was so tense.

"Isn't it obvious? We take him with us!." Boruto exclaimed.

Unlike Boruto, Sarada was of sound mind. She analyzed the situation. Had she wanted to take him with them? Yes. If only for the fact that she couldn't leave a man harmed. But even she knew that if this man turned out to be a threat, relations between Konoha and Suna would be at stake. Even if the friendships between their Hokage and Suna's Kazekage ran deep.

In the end, heart won over mind, as it often did when Boruto jabbered on and on about morality. Boruto was a sound fighter, she knew that. She also knew that one day, his saviour complex would be the end of him, the end of them all. Even so, she would be right there alongside him.

Sarada reached for the man's blade, confident that he wasn't waking up anytime soon, and strapped it along her hip. Her short stature caused the sheath to run along the sand, leaving snake-like markings in its wake. The sword itself bore a shocking resemblance to the one her father carried, save for the indents and scratches that indicated years of use.

"Tie his hands and reinforce it with chakra. We'll bring him with us."

xXx

Sasuke had woken up in the carriage that was much too flashy for his taste. His hands were tied back with rope and chakra. Nothing that he couldn't break out of, but if experience taught him well it's that his body would not respond well to another fight. He sat quietly in the carriage listening as the wheels dug into the sand, hooves trotted, and vibrant voices filled the air. Time went by slowly, he didn't know where he was or why he was taken. In the silence, he let his mind drift ruminating over the past couple of years and all of his decisions.

It was only when the carriage stopped abruptly that Sasuke bothered to refocus back to the present. The well-oiled wooden door slid open easily and three heads peered inside, their faces shadowed by the night sky. Sasuke blankly stared back at the trio and finally took in their appearances. Each of them shared an uncanny resemblance to someone from his past: the white-haired one had sickly pale skin akin to Orochimaru; the blonde's striking eyes reminiscent of Naruto; and the girl, she was a mix of people, parts of her reminded him of his clan and others were of Sakura. Looking at them was almost painful.

The girl, Sarada, had just asked who and what his name was. Who was she? That she didn't know who he was. Sasuke was certain that his defection and crimes had travelled far beyond him. If they noticed him, most people would cower in fear, unsure of what he might do to them. But most importantly, this girl was an Uchiha. Yes, he didn't see her activate her sharingan, but something about her rang familiar. Surely if there was a Uchiha family out there that survived the massacre by some stroke of luck, they would tell her about him. After all, he was a traitor. But Sasuke spoke before his mind had the chance to think.

"Arata," Sasuke said, dulling.

Sasuke knew that sooner or later his past would catch up to him, crumpling the guise entirely. Now, for one moment, he didn't want to be Sasuke Uchiha, the lone survivor, the traitor, the criminal. If only for a moment, he could pretend to be someone else.

xXx

Has Suna always looked like this? Sasuke rarely made his way to this desert hell. In Konoha, he didn't get many missions that required coming to Suna. When he defected, he had been forced to remain within the confines of Orochimaru's hideout. Even team Taka hadn't opted to travel in this direction.

Suna's buildings stood tall, unyielding in the relentless dry winds. Civilians and ninja alike walked its streets, each with their own agendas for the day. But no one even paid any heed to him. It seemed that his name wasn't as far reached as he thought. Sasuke's muscles relaxed, the ones that he didn't even know were tense. It was unlikely that Suna hadn't already found out about Itachi's death. After all, 3 full days had passed. It was one less threat to their Kazekage's life. To be fair, now that Gaara wasn't a jinjuriki any longer, the Akatsuki had no reason to target him. So maybe they weren't on high alert as Sasuke would have thought.

The group split off in two. Boruto and Mitsuki were forced to play babysitter by themselves as Sarada led Sasuke to the hospital. Thankfully, Akio lent him some clothes to wear, so he didn't need to go strutting about half-naked. They arrived late last night when the hospital had been closed for business. Leaving Sasuke with a long restless night. His wounds, while healed on the surface, still harboured infection.

Sasuke eyed his kusanagi that was now strapped to the girl in front of him and wondered whose child this was. So much of her reminded him of Itachi. It brought back feelings of love, life, and loss; feelings that he didn't know how to make sense of. He didn't know whether Sarada was his brother's child. If she was, how should he react? For a long time Sasuke harboured feelings of hate towards Itachi, should he also hate the child in front of him? But despite being a criminal, Sasuke was a man of morals. He had made his team, Taka, promise to never take the life of someone that didn't directly involve searching for his brother. Now that everything was well and done, no more lives needed to be lost by his hand.

Pain pulsated throughout his body with every step. The sun's heat only served as an incubator, making it all the worse. Sasuke ground his teeth to stop from outwardly expressing his weakened state. A marked effort that did not go unnoticed when Sarada glanced over at him with a look of concern.

Sasuke relaxed when the hospital came within his line of sight. The structure, much like the one in Konoha, stood tall and inviting. The doors were constantly rotating as new people either entered or exited.

As the two made their way in, Sasuke audibly sighed, causing Sarada to once again glance up at him. The clay structure insulated the interior trapping in the cool air and provided a much-needed reprieve from the heat outside. The air conditioner whirred from wherever it was perched. A noise that was almost deafening over the chitter of the people around him. He almost gagged as the sharp pang of sterile equipment and medicine hit his nose with blunt force. Memories of sterile rooms and agonizing pain surged from his time as Orochimaru's little experiment. It was here that Sasuke realized he would forever be haunted by his past.

It hadn't taken long to be admitted. In fact, it was too quick. In times of war, there should have been far more people in worse states than this. He wondered where all the fallen Shinobi were. He was sure that Suna would be on the front lines, especially as their Kazekage had been directly attacked.

Instead, he found himself within a doctor's office minutes after his check-in. Sarada remained outside the door giving him much-needed privacy. For some reason, he often found himself at the hospital.

It was utterly unacceptable.

He wasn't the weak genin he once had been and yet these polished white walls, the medical equipment, and a distant sense of helplessness were all too familiar.

"God, it's a wonder how you're even alive." The nurse sliced his skin where the infection was worse. Suna's specialty was poison, which made them experts in ninjutsu extraction or developing herbal antidotes. Infections were much like poison. Both needed to be extracted with care and would require medication afterwards. Her hands glowed green as the nurse worked her way through the inner workings of his body. Careful to extract only the infection. A small orb of bacteria floated in the space between her hand and his skin, growing bigger by the second. "What are you? 17? There's absolutely no reason a child should be this wounded in times like this."

Times like this?

War was brewing. Anyone in their right mind could sense it. Sasuke wondered whether this medic had a screw loose or if she lived so far under a rock in this desert that she didn't know. Yet there was no way that she couldn't have known after what this village faced only months before.

"There. That should do it." The last of his infection curled in on itself as it exited his body. "You're going to need to take it easy for a couple of days. I can only take out so much, your body needs to heal the rest by itself. Here's the medication you need to take and make sure you take it."

It annoyed him that she punctuated that last bit as if he were a small child that needed reminding. The nurse handed him a small clear vile. Sasuke shook the contents causing beige ovular pills to clank against the sides and each other. He was no novice when it came to medication. He had spent most of his time with Orochimaru in a dimly lit experimentation room disguised as a doctor's office, while Kabuto half force-fed him some weird medication that would have him convulsing in on himself. Sensing his mild distress the nurse reassured him that the pills would help. Too tired to argue, he coolly slid off the table and left with only a word spared to the nurse. "Thanks."

Sarada had been leaning against the wall directly opposite from the door, watching the other patients as they went about their day. Even lost in thought, she sensed Sasuke's presence. Unsurprising to no one when the likes of Sasuke Uchiha often commanded the attention of others by simply entering their vicinity.

Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but Sasuke was having none of it. He hadn't had any time to grieve the loss of his brother, the one who Sasuke loved and hated with such intensity that it left a hole in his heart in Itachi's absence. He could barely look at his hands, the very same ones that brought about the end of his dear brother's life.

Sasuke brushed past Sarada, ignoring her presence completely. The hospital became suffocating. Every sound became heightened to alarming levels, leaving no room for his own thoughts - only a sharp headache. He heard soft cries of loved ones who were helpless, the pained moans and screams of the fallen, the pitter of feet on the floor trudging to wherever they needed to be, but most of all, he heard the rush of his own heartbeat as panic set in. He felt as if the walls were closing in on him with no room to breathe. It had been a long time since Sasuke experienced a panic attack. Normally too confident and emotionally detached to bother with such feelings. But now he couldn't get out of this labyrinth fast enough.

Sarada trailed behind but remained as silent as ever. He could clearly feel her eyes as they bore into his back. It only caused him to despise her presence.

It wasn't fresh air that greeted him as he stepped out the hospital doors. No, it was hot, stale air that worsened his nausea. He almost retreated back into the hospital. Almost. But instead, he popped a pill that the medic had given him, squared his shoulders, and headed for… somewhere… anywhere but here.

It didn't take long before Sasuke found himself tucked away in the back corner of the first pub he found. Sarada followed, but still hadn't said a word. He appreciated the silence really, but he would appreciate her absence more. If only to hide how utterly pathetic he felt.

Sasuke had never been one to engage in frivolous activities such as drinking. Instead, he opted to either wallow in his room or train. It was a productive use of his time. At least back then. But now with nothing more than a little girl as company and somehow feeling as if he didn't belong in the world he lived in, Sasuke wanted a drink. Needed a drink.

Sasuke was often pumped full of narcotics at Orochimaru's behest - testing the limits of his body. He found that, even though he didn't drink, his tolerance rivalled that of one Tsunade Senju. So, choosing the quickest path to tipsy, he ordered the strongest alcoholic beverage the place had to offer. Coupled with nothing more in his stomach than the acid that resided within, Sasuke was certain that it would take only 10 full glasses before he felt something… anything… everything.

As soon as the glass hit the table, Sasuke took a swig of the beverage, tipping his head back and opening his throat. The liquid vanished as quickly as it was poured. The sharp sting of alcohol burned on its way down. In a way, it felt cleansing, as if every word he uttered suddenly had no repercussions. As if the village he left behind would greet him with open arms upon the return of their prodigal son. In another, the bile that rose up his throat left a different kind of sting. Washing away whatever that cleansing feeling was and leaving behind raw unchecked pain. He didn't know how or why people even liked to drink. But then again, here he was, like the others, drowning out his own emotions.

It started with one, then two, then three, and by the time he hit five, Sasuke couldn't tell the ceiling from the floor. His face was dusted in an unsightly shade of pink. He had half a mind to realise that something was wrong because Sasuke Uchiha didn't get drunk.

Never in his life did he feel like simultaneously crying and laughing. The mixture of emotions welling up within threatened to burst. But he was who he was and the only emotion that remained outwardly expressed on his face was apathy.

"Say what you want." He hated the way that girl looked at him. Like she was concerned. But for what? He was perfectly fine. Great in fact. Just… Great.

Sasuke rested his spinning head into the palm of his hand and slowly blinked heavy eyelids. Logically, he knew that there weren't two Sarada's sitting in front of him. Yet he didn't know which one to focus on.

Her eyes shifted to that of an interrogator who was quickly analyzing their hostage. In reality he actually was their willful hostage. She seemed to be looking for the right words that would coax the most information out of him and with the state Sasuke was in, he likely would oblige.

"Who are you?" she asked, deliberately.

"I told you my name already." His hand now cupped the side of his chin as he turned towards the near empty pub. He could hear the soft clicks of glass as the bartender served a man his drink. The man in question had been hunched over already belligerent. Not one person in this place had a companion. Dread hung in the air as if every single person in this room had the weight of the world on their shoulders. People who came here to drink in the middle of the day were either pathetic losers with nothing more to do with their time or alcoholics.

Today, Sasuke joined their ranks.

"No, I mean who are you really? You haven't said your last name or anything about yourself. How did you even end up in the Land of Wind in that state?"

"Fought my brother and won. I don't know how I got here. Last name? It's none of your damn business."

Curiosity shone in her eyes, the questions in there were evident: Who's your brother? Why did you fight him? And most importantly, who the absolute hell are you? Sasuke didn't feel obligated to answer, or more accurately he wasn't sure whether he wanted her to know. Yet his drunken brain gave into his now loose lips and spilled everything - like the dam he was, ready to burst at the slightest pressure.

"Why… did you fight him? Aren't siblings supposed to love each other?"

"Because… he took everything I ever loved from me… even him. So I killed him. No one notices your sorrow or pain, but everyone notices your mistakes. The people that I… once cared about said that I would regret it. Back then I was so sure they didn't know the pain I was in. They didn't know how strong my resolve was. But now I'm not so sure about that myself. I don't even know if I regret it." His loose lips let the words flow out of him; everything that he had been feeling was punctuated with short periods of silence.

He leaned back in the chair and rested against the cold clay wall. It was an absolutely lovely sensation after the alcohol had warmed him up. He crossed his arms, defensive of his own feelings. For so long everyone around him felt the need to bash on his decisions and choices. Never truly understanding the suffering he felt being left behind by his clan. Having the responsibility of avenging his fallen comrades against no one else but his brother.

"Did I make a mistake…?" He whispered to no one.

Something about what he said must have shocked the girl. As the hands that were crossed sturdily were now hidden underneath the table. She dropped her head a fraction, unable to fully process what had just been said and unable to offer any sort of comfort to him. But he wasn't looking for comfort. Long ago Sasuke had accepted that his fate would only bring him pain and suffering. There was nothing she could say that would fill the void in his heart now.

"I'm… sorry."

Sasuke scoffed. That was the best that she could come up with. She, who had no connection to him and his past, was sorry? The thought humoured him. In a world where shinobi fought, killed, and were killed, there were still people like her that held onto sympathy. He knew that if this girl didn't harden up soon, she was sure to perish only for her name to be written onto a rock in Konoha, and mourned for when people bothered to remember.

Sasuke drained another glass of his sake. Sufficiently drunk, the sting was now welcome. It felt as if he were both detached and so incredibly suppressed within his own body.

Sasuke felt like a living contradiction.

He closed his eyes to stop the swirling images. It was a futile attempt as the world now spun on its axis. He didn't hear when she had gotten up nor when she sat beside him; he didn't know when he had fallen sideways atop the girl's shoulder, and he didn't know when the tears began rolling down his face. It started as a small trickle that caressed his cheeks as they left his eyes dripping onto the girl's red shirt. But sooner than the blink of an eye, those trickles turned into a waterfall. A pained expression crossed his face as he tried to hold in escaping sobs. Sasuke's entire body shook and he did nothing to stop it. Couldn't do anything to stop it. In the past 7 years, he rarely cried, thinking that only the weak did so.

But the dam was now broken and nothing could be done to stop it.

Every emotion he ever felt: anger, hatred, frustration, helplessness, and love, he let out on the shoulders of a girl he didn't even know.

"Hey… do you want to spar with me? We don't need to meet up with the other two for a while longer," Sarada asked after the tears had finally dried up and his shaking subsided.

A nod of his head was Sasuke's only response.

Sasuke wouldn't know it now, but this one moment spurred a change that forever changed the course of his life.