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The final addition of way too many notes.
Most of these notes are for side stories.
I own nothing. Take anything, for any reason.
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—Contents—
I. Cut Material
II. Side Stories Between
III. Side Stories After
IV. Kylo's Tenure
V. Clarifications
VI. Name Meanings
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I. Cut Material
To keep the script tight, much was cut. Now I find the script fairly ridiculous with how quickly characters make major decisions. I like the end product, but if it likely should have been the same unprofessional size as EPVIII Escape from Ren.
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What Rey tells Finn after he drops the "You'll have to take them off" line
I feel the worst about this one. It was tough. Leaving as it is feels funnier, but the full scene was more sweet. Deleted, but it went like this:
REY(nonplussed) ...are you serious
Finn shrugs with the biggest shit-eating grin.
Rey rolls her eyes as a smile escapes her guard. She is angry-happy, huffing and laughing all in one.
REY Finn you're the worst!
The Empress starts hitting Finn all over while they both laugh. The only blows she lands on him in this entire fight.
FINN Sorry, sorry! I have something else for you on the ship.
REY Of course you do.
Finn extends his arms to her.
FINN May I?
She accepts his hold.
REY Sure, get me out of here.
Finn carries Rey as they fly out.
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The Annihilation Vote
The proceedings were originally much longer, as any real debate over this would be. Now there are no rebuttals nor evidence nor multiple speakers. These originally gave you more insights to what this planet was, but I moved the information into the background blurbs describing the setting. Its not precisely "cut" now, but Rey's sham democracy does looks even dumber than it would actually be.
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II. Side Stories Between
These are stories that can be told between scripts. Stories of the Empress Rey Sidious and her Princes of Dawn taking and destroying planets, stories of the brave Crownhunters who resist her, and elseworld stories told by Finn through his many visions.
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The Annihilation of Bezdize
During the Cerode Treaty, for the first time since the Battle of Endor, the Republic has less resources than the Empire. As a result they put the squeeze on many weaker planets. Bezdize was already shaky, they now stage a revolution. With them, many others do the same.
Organa is going to use them as an example. The story starts here as Admiral Poe arrives with his ships. The DS Gammalann is arriving soon. Everyone says an evacuation will be ordered when it arrives. No one believes Organa will actually use the Death Star. Instead of waiting, Poe takes a small team in a large ship to go "Crownhunting."
While Princes of Dawn have shown up to cause havoc, Poe is there because he believes the Organa has no plans to do an evacuation. Poe is getting Remahn's remaining family, and every other innocent they can fit out of there. But as they get them on, a Prince of Dawn appears and threatens to kill all the people inside if they don't take him off-world as well. Remahn stays off to make this happen.
The Gammalann arrives. It orders the Admirals to fire on any ship leaving the planet. Organa charges the Death Star. Everyone now understands who commands them, as Bezdize is destroyed. Poe's crew shoots fleeing ships, as ordered.
General Organa calls Poe personally about the ship he sent down. Poe claims they are Imperial Stormtroopers taken as prisoners. Organa deems no trial is necessary, and Poe is required to destroy these "prisoners." Poe fabricates an attack on his own ship, to make it look like the survivors escaped his custody, and tries sending the refugees to safety.
Once the ship exists Poe's warship, it is instantly destroyed by another. Organa says it is a good thing he prepared for that. Poe and his men continue destroying fleeing ships. There are no survivors.
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Finn Explores: The Darkest Timeline
Finn follows the tragic life of a Poe's descendant. Born into a Crownhunter plot to graft a child with midichlorians and send him to be made a Knight of Ren. He survives and serves under a Star King. For his talent, his is taken to the expanded Kannek offered before the End Stringer.
This is God-Emperor Cassariot, mostly machine, face still beautiful. All around his body are blue strings controlling the Krannek, and some reaching out into space. He gifts the boy with thought. Has him raised with other newborns in his Wing of Heaven, the harem city of his thousand concubines. They raise the Princes, but our boy is rebellious. Nothing interests him, until a stoic female Prince joins them. They have an odd relationship.
A Prince who breaks the End Stringer's law is sent away to pursue their own destinies. Many Princes leave. Our boy breaks laws all the time with charisma so its never a problem. Our girl never does or says anything. Until one day she kills another Prince. An unprecedented event. Sent to the Emperor and vanishes. The boy sleeps with a slave, and is too brought before the End Stringer in the the Hall of Challenge.
The Hall is a long metal platform with an endless void beneath it. The walls are covered in a hundred preserved corpses of failed kings and princes who lost here. For taking what is the End Stringer's, the boy must fight. Our boy only responds with "Which one?" Cassariot laughs and severs all the strings controlling the Krannek for this fight. His power and mindset is that of a god. After humiliating ad binding our boy, he extends a fingers connecting strings to every Star King the galaxy. If any ask for a disciple, he will be spared. If none, he will be put on the wall.
The galaxy is silent. Cassariot explains its unlikely, since only one king had been asking for years took the girl as his. Cassariot also reveals how impressed he was by her. Showing a small cut she made on his hand. Cassariot lines up the string to the boy's neck, as a king suddenly takes the boy. Cassariot feels a rare sense of surprise. The boy is sent off.
Getting there in the middle of a war between two Star King's Empires. The King is working with the Crownhunters in a long plot to overthrow the End Stringer. The boy learns his origins, and grows strong in the war. Once they win, an alliance is offered by a new Star King. It is the girl, having already killed her master and taken their place. Our boy is embarrassed by his perceived lack of progress. She doesn't even look at him her entire stay. She signs the alliance, then leaves. In fury, he kills his own Star King with his Crownhunter skills. Burns the treaty. And takes the only step even the girl hasn't: stops paying tribute to the End Stringer.
The declaration of war beckons the Krannek to his system. The boy has become powerful, but his army is horribly outmatched and his planet is wiped out. At this time the many other Crownhunter saboteurs join the fight. They give our boy the chance to face Cassariot again, a stronger rival. The fight is an epic rematch, and our banged bloodied boy is victorious.
Then the corpse vanishes. It was all an illusion puppeteered by the End Stringer. Cassariot sits on the throne untouched. The boy is concerned, but Cassariot reveals that all his strength went into the projection. The boy would defeat him in a fight, but knowing this, Cassariot tugs at a string connecting deep into the Krannek. He can pull the cord and destroy the entire station at any time. The boy waits until Cassariot asks him the question of how he would lead. We do not hear the answer.
Satisfied, Cassariot freely gives up the seat to the stronger Emperor and dies. The boy gathers the Crownhunters to celebrate and slaughters them all. He ends the conspiracies against the Empire. He offers a hand in marriage to the girl, whom rejects him. The boy destroys her planet. She takes over a new one. He destroys it too. This chase goes on and on and on as Finn sees just how bad things really are.
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III. Side Stories After
These are the stories that can be told after EPIX. Tales of a broken galaxy slowly healing, and the hopeful men and women working to make it better.
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Frontiersmen of the Unknown Regions
The ship is christened "The Wandering Penance." The crew is a hodgepodge of former evil adjacent geniuses. Their talent in all fields helps them journey through this dangerous space without a heading. Among their adventures:
1. Killpanzer is still alive and insists they get an army. He the only military man that didn't vote on annihilation because he prefers concurring meet up with people who fled the Empire. After our group's identity is discovered, these fled people now hunt them. Eventually, these former enemies join our group, seeing our character's true selves and the hope their journey represents. Killpanzer gets his army.
3. Rey is nerfed, her power is psychological, and now that she is not in an Empresses' mindset, she at times has no ability. Poe drags her out in a ship to fix a problem. They hash out everything. Creates more problems as she Force projects manifestations of all her past mistakes. Poe drags her out of this mindset. Has Rey become a tool, something to help people. Guided by the people. This new perspective helps them go forward into danger.
N. They all eventually find a good planet. Poe names it New Alderaan. Its hard work, but they begin creating a new civilization here. There is a caste based on occupation.
Epilogue: One day, Finn sees a mine collapse in his visions. He goes to help with BB8 but both are killed by the falling rocks. The now aged Rey continues writing Finn's Jedi teachings, but there is yet to be anyone in their settlement that is Force adept. After finishing her lover's work and saying goodbye to Poe and Ephie, Rey quietly disappears. This ends the first part of the Frontiersmen.
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Hux and his pal Jon Jax
Kylo's two adopted children mourn his recent pacing. Pining for adventure, they shrug off responsibilities and expectations to explore the stars. Hux has the earing, Jon Jax Jr. senses there s much more to it, but can't place what. Both are level headed young men. Hux is a smooth talker with many political friends, but hates mention of his biological family. He is stigmatized for being the sole remaining member of the Imperial Family. Jon Jax Jr. is very calm, but needs a fight. Even though he thinks he is the perfect Jedi, he can't say no to even the dumbest of challenges to prove himself. Hux handles him by using this weakness instead of growing him out of it.
They are manipulated by a secret evil into adventure. Saved from death befriending a defective Knight of Ren. The Trio have many adventures during The Grand Rotation trying to stop the evil from returning.
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Frontiersmen of the Unknown Regions – Part II
A hundred years after the disappearance of Rey, the first Jedi candidate appears: Cliff Healer. As his name would suggest, his family works as healers. The ultimate goal of the settled Imperial Family is to chart the Unknown Regions. Cliff is given allowance as a Jedi to explore the stars while the others terraform New Alderaan. He is a jovial jokester feigning a fool. He tricks interesting people into becoming his crew and their adventure begins!
1. Rey still exists as a benevolent spirit who protects the people of New Alderaan. This is only in rare moments of crisis, the being a faint memory of her with no reasoning ability. Her actions are inconsistent, at times even detrimental. Cliff will battle this ghost when she stops the ship from entering a dangerous planet. He loses the fight, but with the help of his crew they shake her off and continue their mission.
2. Cliff's first Moment of Badass has him ambushed when an airlock opens behind him. It takes all his meager Force power to stay in, only for the baddies to shoot him in the heart. The plot continues with the remaining heroes all captured. Until the villains encounter a major problem outside. He's back:
As his body flew out the airlock, Cliff used the Force to collect the oxygen and keep his blood inside and pumping. In desperation, he demanded to go toward the station, but every time he does more bleeds out. The ghost of Rey comes to him in his hour of need. His power boosted, he careens back to the ships, one hand his lightsaber, the other clutching his chest -Rey's two hands over his, her flowing dress of power draping him heroically. Berserk, he starts destroying the entire ship. Unless they personally face him down, everyone will die. The villain takes up the challenge, and while it is close, Cliff wins in the duel. Our heroes patch up a comatose Cliff, now in awe of their comedic friend's full power
N. They explore more planets with problems that Cliff uses trickery to help. They gain more crew and influence in these adventures.
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The Fate of Cassariot
This isn't really side story. Just a little piece of one. Datas Skywalker finally meets with Vilpus, whom is with Aeneas. She shows Aeneas to hidden planet she calls "Disecca." Only filled with mixed clones of Cassariot, to be endlessly hunted as practice for the Crownhunters. Peace is temporary and the threat of the dark side eternal. The Crownhunters will be needed again.
Everything is cold down there and it is a struggle for the clones to survive. Occasionally one will break out. The original Cassariot is known as the by the clones who live there as "The Old Man who Walks at Night." He is a half-man strapped to a large, mecha-like machine with long legs. He is the one who can design and change them. A new clone is ejected out by a pod, and a raised by Sith Worshipping Wardens. Should the Old Man ever touch a clone, it will rot them away. He can only watch as his sons and daughters fight and die. Every now and then, when the kids kill a Crownhunter they can see his shadowed figure in the distance.
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IV. Kylo's Tenure
Kylo works tirelessly to make a successful peace in the former empire. It's mad boring politics though and not a story. Only important for background information to other tales. The information is just bullet points.
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The First Kylo Era
The Imperial representative for both the unconditional surrender and the ratifying of the Galactic Union (GU).
Is given a Continuance for his trial to peacefully demilitarize of the Empire, the called officially "Prisoner King Kylo"
Reforms broken Monopolies into Guilds.
Kylo returns to Coruscant in a flood of boos.
Turns over surviving information and technology to the GU.
Mandates all troopers return, many without a place in this new world.
Kylo enacts the unpopular mandatory "microguild" enlistment to former troopers. Most stay in employment under the First Kylo Era.
Kylo controversially destroys the (already ransacked) Imperial Graveyard.
Under extreme push back for lack of an election, Kylo knowingly publishes a false series of GU requirements the planet must meet before an election is held. Effective.
Improves quality of life of most citizens in former Empire.
Former Empire is newly ratified as the Cental Consortium(CC).
The Jedi Counsel officially become a legal body within the GU.
Kylo enacts his first popular policy: reopening the Jedi temple.
His second popular act: Kylo declares the Great Jedi Demonstration.
Finishes all the fraudulent GU election requirements, begins the first elections.
Fails petition to enter election.
His last proposed policy is for the mandatory state adoption of all Force sensitive children. Mass disgust by Guilds, citizens, and Jedi, is overturned
The Mass Kidnapping is revealed to have been happening for years. Stray Princes of Dawn had taken high M-count children and kill their families.
Kylo is given emergency military power to the CC in joint operations for the greater GU. Under Kylo (and secretly the Crownhunters) the Mass Kidnapping ends.
Kylo's popularity has reversed from where it started.
1st President Gent La is elected.
Kylo steps down,and ends the First Kylo Era.
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The Second Kylo Era
GU asks to have Kylo returned for his trial. Pres. La denies the request.
Kylo did the work of twenty men. As it is now, the job of president is impossible.
Kylo is appointed as an aid, due to these extreme.
The president position is roughly broken up into ten new positions (The Ten Men)
Pres. La openly defies GU by enacting the Mandatory State Jedi adoption. (Though in the change, entire families are adopted. Eventually allowed by the GU courts)
The La Era begins to be called commonly called the Second Kylo Era after this.
Pres. La announces intent to leave office. Insists privately Kylo take the position.
The Ten Men, which includes the President and Aide all agree on a new legal requirement going forward:
All politicians in any of these positions take mandatory poverty (After tenure, are imprisonment on New Ren for life)
After this is properly ratified, Kylo petitions to enter the election. GU allows it this time.
Kylo becomes the second president in a landslide, and ends the Second Kylo Era.
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Third Kylo Era
After five years of innovation, progress, and survival.
Begins the Grand Rotation. The military tour of the entire galaxy that most youth participate in. After the tour, they can go anywhere in the GU.
Extremely successful, but alas, his term is over and must step down for his trial by the GU.
His sentence amended to life instead of death due public outcry.
He is allowed to be imprisoned on New Ren within the CC. It is a humble existence. Many politicians and problem solvers regularly meet him in the gardens. As he still holds power, this is still included in the Third Kylo Era.
Eventually takes a Padawan apprentice by a rough orphan boy with incredible gifts.
Survives an assassination by remaining House Hux members.
Adopts the child of the assassins.
Raises the two children for ten more years.
Vanishes forever.
This ends the Third Kylo Era, the galaxy moves forward with his spirit in mind.
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V. Clarifications
Script feels rushed to make it with a proper script size. Because so much dialogue explaining characters thoughts and motivations was removed, I can see many things being unclear. I will try to explain some, but feel free to PM for any further questions I don't answer.
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What did Finn whisper to Kylo
"Betray Luke."
He left Kylo to figure out the correct time to do this. Which the man did perfectly. When he tells Rey that Kylo has to "die," its because Kylo does play the saboteur after Cassariot would obviously retaliate.
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Why couldn't Finn predict so much of the movie?
Finn went at solving the problem in an engineering mindset. He focused mechanically. Without emotion. This same perspective made it difficult to see how he could turn Rey, and he wasted most of his time trying to overpower her. She kills him in most of his visions as result, Finn bluffs well but he would have gotten tired eventually and been killed. In frustration, and craving release, he starts trying visions of simply being honest with her. When he flirts with her in the script, it wasn't originally to manipulate her. It's because its what he always wanted to tell her.
The fact it is was the only way the worked in turning her was accidental. It worked out. After this key point, he returns to exploring a vision-solution mechanically. What he misses, is non-essential:
1. BB8 kept all the recordings (he recorded them to hear back later. It helps him make "checkpoints" while exploring futures). Keeping or deleting these has no effect.
2. Rey falls for him. He never sought it out, and never saw it.
3. Poe sparing Kylo is the big one. I suppose Poe's time as a Crownhunter has made him a little less predictable to Jedi visions.
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What was Finn's big plan anyway? There seemed like many different ways for it to work.
The key was destroying both death stars and stopping the Princes of Dawn.
If Rey tries to use the Krannek to destroy the Gammalann, they will kill her as she tries to. That doesn't work.
If the Gammalann is destroyed first, the Krannek survives. This is a somewhat dark timeline. If the Empire still has the Krannek, and Rey is still on board...she would betray Finn again to stay as the Empress of Death. Her remaining family would push her to do so.
Cassariot must not be captured by Luke and Kylo. If he is the Krannek is not destroyed. And even then, if Kylo is not in the room to convince them to start the Krannek, they won't. Kylo had to earn his trust.
Using the Gammalann to fire at the Krannek would have killed everyone. Perhaps, too aggressive. This final way Finn found still preserves hope for the surviving Imperial Family, Princes of Dawn, and Crownhunters.
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VI. Name Meanings
Every name has meaning. The last one has the least though, but I admire it's purity.
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Shanglacius
Combines the city Shangri-La with Glacius. Shangri-La is possibly the most exoticized fictional eastern city, and I wanted to show a glimpse of such a paradise with vague eastern city building. Its depictions normally lay it within the frozen mountain ranges of south east China. Glacius is a character from Killer Instinct, a ice-type alien, the original name obviously referring to the Latin word for ice, "glacies." Taken together, it is an alien world, almost completely frozen, save a ring of paradise with East Asian-styled buildings.
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Cariyas
Combines "Carnot" and "Kshatriya." Carnot for the Carnot Cycle in thermodynamics, a core idea behind the operations of refrigerators. Kshatriya is a part of the caste system in India composed of rulers. Combined, The are the rulers that have frozen the world while keeping themselves comfortable. All there names are based on the locations od some incredible Buddhist statues. A guide:
Watphaba = Wah Pho, Bangkok
Taifosha = Fo Guang Shan Monastery, Taiwan.
Lantuahon = Lantau Island, Hong Kong
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Noonak
Refers to "Nanook" of Inuit myth. The Polar Bear god who watches over hunters and punishes those who violate taboos.
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Solomon Palpatine
In reference to the Biblical "Solomon." A old, wise, powerful leader, who may have had piety to his God, but also consorted with demons to gain magical power. This character is an old powerful schemer only putting up a front of loyalty toward his Empress of Death.
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Nestorb
In reference to "Nestor" of Greek myth. The king who had many adventures and becomes and advisor to many main characters. Orb was in reference to magical rulers using orbs for advice. Nestorb is the replacement for Attorn after they learned of his role in killing Silva Galencia. Though operates as a second Emperor's Aide to Kylo.
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M&H Ordial-Class Terraformer
References the Promised Land in the Bible, often described as the land of "Milk and Honey," the land Moses' freed slaves wander to find. Ordial is spelled correctly, but is pronounced "Ordeal," as reference to Primordial Soup (step 1 for creating life on this planet) and the Ordeal the Frontiersmen will have to overcome to survive in the Unknown Regions.
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Prince Helena
Eh, this one made more sense in head. It's supposed to be both Helen and Athena, combining beauty with combat wisdom. Doesn't really work though.
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Seveal, planet LQ 2689
Just a combination of "Secret Reveal," the number refers to the temperature of Helium's liquid state, -268.9 C. Only because the dwarf planet orbits a helium gas giant and its surface atmoshpere containing large amounts as well.
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Senzangakhona
The family name of Shaka Zulu. Leader of an Africa tribe that repelled British forces for a time. Referenced here as an outmatched planet that was still able to get the Krannek to flee.
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Fenhogg
References Fenrir and the Nidhogg of Norse Myth. I wanted something to suggest successful regicide over a god. Fenrir great wolf who eats Odin. The Nidhogg is the dragon at the bottom of the tree gnawing at the roots of Yddrasil to free itself, waiting for Ragnarok. Combined, this is the ostracized warship, waiting for a disaster to kill General Organa and the Gammalann.
There is a further meaning, found in the first set of notes for EPVII The Hidden Danger. If I could rename Poe, it would be Lok, in hidden reference to Loki, the father of Fenrir.
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Cherubi
In reference to Cherub, not as much the small baby angels, as the Biblical servants of the heavens. Specifically, the warrior Cherubi who has many pieces of animal and protects the Garden of Eden.
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General Pushawn
To push a pawn. But sometimes, with enough chaos, a pawn can elevate their status.
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Donna Atropa
Refers to Atropa Belladonna, the binomial nomenclature for Nightshade. The poison said to have killed Emperor Claudius. Continues the vague organic theme of Alderaan.
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"Prince Renard"
Means fox in french.
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Rey True Name: RAA 0380001802
Obviously, RAA is where Shika got the name for Rey, just like how Finn got his new name. The numbers are the ISBN for a secret book. Google: 0380001802
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Finn True Name: Sheev Palpatine Houldcroft
Sheev Palpatine is The Emperor's birth name, or course. "Houldcroft" is in reference to Peter Thomas Houldcroft who pioneered gas assisted high powered laser cutting, you know like a cool lightsaber.
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Datas Skywalker
Now I could say Luke's granddaughter was named after a strange pluralization of data, on account of all the vision information that has overtaken her, but that's completely coincidental. She is called Datas because of DAT ASS. That's it. And I think that's beautiful.
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Thank you for reading...all of it apparently!
[achievement unlocked: 100% completed - hero of the galaxy]