Comfort
Sev and Jack went up to their bedroom in silence and each went to their bed. Sev thought, Well, in the end Ariel hasn't come yet. Better, that way I have time to get undressed and go into bed for a while, even if I don't fall asleep, because I'm exhausted and lunch has been terrible for me. I'm going to get sick.
He undressed and got into bed, closing the curtain on his side, the one with by window. I'll leave the other one open so Ariel will see me when he comes in and into the bed with me. He tried to relax.
I slept in the wrong position tonight, dressed, with my boots on, I haven't even showered and I haven't washed my hair since Tuesday, expecting to do it today to see Lily, what a disaster.
In a little while, when the disgust wears off a bit, I'm going to take a good shower to wake up and be fresh tonight. I'm going to enjoy with my snakes, I deserve it. Now I regret telling them not to bring whiskey, I want to get drunk. Well, it doesn't matter, today I'll have wine, if I fall before twelve, to bed and that's it.
Come to think of it, today is the last Saturday of May, the last Hogsmeade outing of the year, which would have been my downfall. I would have liked to go and no one from home has told me anything, everyone has gone to train, today we should have left it resting. No wonder they wanted to have a party, so they could go to town for a drink without having to sneak away.
It would have been nice to go to Hogsmeade in the morning and those who already Apparate, even Jack, had taken us somewhere, even to London, we would have been spared the hardship we've been through. I'm going to ask Jack why they haven't told me anything.
"Jack, are you there?"
"Yes Prince."
"Why didn't you remind me that there was a trip to Hogsmeade today?"
"I don't know Prince. Because you are very focused on your things and we did not want to distract you."
"Well, it would have been nice if we took a break today and we all went out to town. I haven't been to Hogsmeade since before Christmas so I didn't meet the slut."
"Ugh, Prince, I'm so sorry. But now that you mention her, we better not have gone, she might have come."
No, I know for a fact that she hasn't, because they have delegated retaliation to Lucius. But Jack doesn't know that, and from his point of view, he's right. And now that I think about it, next year we won't be able to go to Hogsmeade at all, not Lily, not me, and not everyone else who is in the process of learning Occlumency. If we want to get out of here, we'll have to Apparate as soon as we cross the gate of the grounds, we mustn't even go near the town. Another thing to tell Albus as soon as possible, although I'm sure he's thought about it too.
"You're right, Jack, so we've done well. We'll enjoy tonight at the party."
What a rage, another whole month locked up in the castle. I would have liked very much to go out, it was my last chance to go to town. I'm crying again, I'm emotionally exhausted.
He didn't hear Ariel when he came in, just his soft voice from the area of Jack's bed. "Jack, is Sev asleep?"
"No, Ariel, Sev is awake. Had you appoint with him?"
"Yes, he told me that I come at two."
"Ariel, honey. I'm awake, come with me," Sev called him.
"Go with him, Ariel, go on, and hug him very tight," said Jack.
They have already noticed in my voice that I am crying. My brothers, the little one and the older one, the ones I never had. I already look like a spring, I won't turn around.
"Sev, do you want me to get into bed with you?" Ariel asked.
"Yes please."
He realizes I'm crying but he doesn't say anything to me, he's undressing. He felt him climb into bed and hug him, Sev shuddered.
"What's wrong, Sev? Are you sad?" Ariel asked very softly, also sad.
"Yes honey."
"I've already noticed that you hardly ate and you were very worried. Something bad happened, right?"
Ugh... he's already restless too. How we all have messed it up. "Don't worry, Ariel, it wasn't anything important, it'll go away immediately. Hug me and in a little while I'll be fine."
"Aren't you going to take a nap?"
"I don't think so, I'm not very sleepy, really."
"Okay, then I'll hug you until you're better," said the boy.
They spent like that for half an hour. Sev didn't hear Jack leave. He's alone, in his bed, thinking about everything we've talked about, he has no one to comfort him and he's not going to see Lauren tonight. How I've gone overboard, hopefully one day he will come to trust me, and even if he does not, I will continue to love him a lot anyway.
I will understand him, respect him, and avoid hurting him as much as possible. I have ridiculed and humiliated him a lot. I won't get into the relationship he has with Lauren anymore, just like he doesn't get into the one I have. Too much pain. I'm already crying again.
"Ariel, if you get bored, start reading," Sev said.
"Not at all, Sev. I am very comfortable like this."
"Thank you, honey, can you do me a favor?"
"Sure, Sev."
"Go to Jack if he's still here and give him a big hug from me, tell him I love him very much."
"Right away, Sev."
The little one got out of bed, ran to Jack's and spent about five minutes with him.
Jack's still here, and he must have cried too when Ariel has given him my hug and my message, and he's comforting him, he's comforting us both. It seems that he is the older brother of both of us, instead of the younger one.
Ariel came back. "Jack says that he also loves you very much."
"How is he?"
"He is also sad."
"And you, honey?" Sev asked.
"Me too a little. Because I see you."
Of course, normal, with how much he loves us, the three of us each other. I'm crying again. Ariel hugged him tighter. Wow… what strength he has, he's going to be a big man. If he was a year older I would already do him my second next year. It doesn't matter, he will be when he's in fifth grade, when Alice and Frank have already graduated.
They spent another half hour like this. Little by little, Sev was recovering. I already feel better. How good it feels to cry and human affection and warmth. What would I have done without him? He turned around. The curtain is drawn, so that nobody bothers us.
"Will you give me a hug?"
"Sure, Sev."
They hugged for a long time. If tonight at twelve, when the third-years go to bed, Audrey hasn't said anything to me, I'll ask Ariel to sleep with me again, like at the last party, but only if I don't get drunk. In that case, better not, I don't want to set a bad example.
"Are you better now, Sev?"
"Yes, much better, honey. Thanks to you."
"You've cried a lot. Why?"
"I'm sad because I still can't see Lily," Sev replied.
"Sure. But you see her in training, right?"
"Yes, but today I haven't gone, and while we train I'm very busy and I can't even talk to her."
"Jo… what a pity. I also miss her a lot," said the boy.
"We only have a month left until summer, Ariel. In July we will all be together."
"At Jack's house?"
"Sure, at Jack's house, we'll fly on a broom. Do you have a broom?" Sev asked.
"Yeah."
They are so good. They give him everything, as if he were one more of the family. How lucky he was to meet them when he arrived at Hogwarts, and he doesn't lack his mother's affection when she comes to see him. Although he grew up in an orphanage, he has had a much better life than mine. He is a much emotionally healthier and stronger person. Another lifeline.
"What book have you brought to read? Have you finished your novel yet?" Sev asked.
"No. I have the last few chapters left."
"Wow, then you must be wanting to read it to know the ending."
"Well yes. It's very interesting," Ariel said.
"And what novel is it?"
"'Oliver Twist' by Charles Dickens."
"And what's it about?" Sev asked.
"About an orphan boy who lives on the street, he becomes a thief with a gang of other children and the boss is an old man."
Booaah… "And isn't that a bit crude for you?"
"It doesn't, Sev. I understand everything perfectly."
Of course he understands it, and he identifies with it. At the orphanage he hung out with the bad guys, just like I did when I got to Hogwarts. Well, it will work for me too. "Do you think you'll finish it this afternoon?"
"For sure yes."
"Then when you finish it, leave it to me," Sev said.
"Of course, Sev, and so we'll talk about it later."
Wow... I can't wait to start it.
"Come on, read for a while. I'm going to see how Jack is and take a good shower, I look like a pig."
He got out of bed, took his towel, a change of clothes, and the shampoo from his trunk. I don't dress anymore even though Jack sees me like this. We have never seen each other in our underwear, because I always go first to take a shower, before he gets up, and I get dressed in the bathroom. And when we go to bed we don't see the hole where we change from each other's bed. He's going to realize how hot I am and he's going to get even more jealous.
What can I do? Each one has what he has, he is more graceful in the face, much more. I can't change that, but he can change his. That he take better care of himself, he is a bit fleshy and that's why he doesn't fight as well as he could, he is the second worst of the Defense at the House. Definitely, he did not deserve the position that he had.
Jack was lying on the bed, a treatise on magic in his hands, studying. (Well, at least he hasn't spent all this time turning it about.)
Sev moved closer to him and spoke softly enough that Ariel couldn't hear them. "Jack, are you better?"
"Yes much better. And you? Sit here if you want."
Sev sat next to him on the bed. "I'm so sorry I've been like this before."
"Don't be sorry, Prince, I deserved it," very sure of himself. "Are you really better? You look very bad."
"It's just that I spent almost an hour crying."
"Jo, Prince... I'm so sorry," suffering again.
"No, Jack. Let's not start again, it's over, and as soon as I take a good shower I'll be as good as new. But I needed to apologize to you for bringing up the subject you already know like that. I shouldn't have done it."
"It doesn't matter, maybe otherwise I never would have found out."
(Because Lauren doesn't talk to him about me at all. And he seems to be glad to know, of course. Then I'll do it, whenever he wants. And I plan to talk about this with her too, we're already starting to have a lot of topics pending to talk face to face, and how many more will come out until Thursday?) "Then you know. Whenever you want to know or let me know, here I am. I won't bring it up again."
"Sure, Prince. I count on you."
(Very good, that is clear to him. Enough.) "Always, brother."
"Do you want me to go find Deborah now?"
"Wait a while longer, to give me time to dry my hair, because I am sure that she will come immediately as soon as you tell her about it," Sev said.
"For sure she will."
"So you study a little more too. What are you with?"
"Transfiguration," Jack replied.
"Ugh, man… my cursed subject."
"Yes, it is also mine and that of many. In theory I am over the top, but practice is worse for me."
(That's why I still haven't acquired the talent despite having already performed joint rituals with ten people in the Forest,) Sev thought. (Transfiguration is the most difficult magical subject. And in Defense you have to learn to change your physical appearance, as if you were a metamorphmagus.) "Well, we'll fix it soon. On Monday Dumbledore takes me and the Gryffs to the fir tree to pass on his talent so he can teach us how to become invisible. Come you too."
"No, Prince, enjoy being with them. If I go, we will also be remembering all the time what happened today and we will all have a worse time."
(He's not over it at all. All looks.) "Well, it wouldn't hurt for you to spend some time and make a joint ritual with them, you haven't done it, they'll help you get over it. Let yourself be influenced by them."
"Yes, maybe you're right, but everything is very recent and I feel very guilty. I don't feel like I can see Lily again so soon."
(What I was telling you, he's still very stressed,) Sev thought. (And he's right, maybe Lily won't be happy to see him so soon either. I'll have to check with her.) "Yeah, I understand you. A pity, we would have had a good time. You still have time to think about it. We will go after breakfast, at dawn. Let me know if you make up your mind, so I can tell the others."
"Okay."
"Well, I'm going to take a shower."
"Good. When you get out I'll go to look for Deborah."
Sev went to take a shower. Jack doesn't turn things in the moment, he does even worse than Lauren and me. He saves them for later, they remain entrenched, he doesn't solve them.