Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Toaru Kagaku no Railgun/Toaru Majutsu no Index
The Trinity of Tokiwadai
Chapter Forty Two: The Lunatic First Family of Academy City
Beta:
It was a balmy autumn afternoon when Ruiko found herself confronted by all her friends and family in her own home. Well, most of them anyways. Thankfully, Shinobu-san had taken Janie and Febrie out for a walk. She really didn't want the twins to be round for this attempt at a most unnecessary intervention.
"Honestly, Ruiko," Ai-nee said with a deep frown. "Of all the people for you to date, must you pick Accelerator to be your boyfriend?"
All around the crowded living room, her siblings and friends nodded along to Ai-nee's accusing question, expressing their own disapproval with her choice of romantic partner. Only Uiharu and her fellow Trinity members refrained, though even they at best just looked resigned that she was immovable on this issue. The only one looking remotely supportive was Kaa-san who just sported an amused grin at the whole farce.
"Isn't it my choice to date whoever I want?" Ruiko shot back with a frown.
"Of course it is Saten-chan but you have other choices." Konori-Sempai stated, her own cheeks looking pink. "I mean, I get the allure of the bad boy type, but I think that-"
Ruiko merely pointed to Wataru-san sitting right next to her, forcing the older girl to click her jaw shut as the red haired man chuckled.
"Just because Konori-Sempai has no leg to stand on there doesn't mean that she's wrong about Accelerator being a total bad boy," Ai-nee insisted. "Please tell us you're not dating him because of that."
"I'm not." Ruiko insisted. "Besides, there's loads more to him than just being a bad boy."
"I honestly don't think that term even applies to him," Shengxi-nii said with a frown. "He may be the Number 1, but he's built like a twig. Don't bad boys have to be ripped?"
"Usually," Khulan-chan said with a frown at their older brother. "But that's besides the point."
"I think his smile is creepy." Park-chan chimed in suddenly. "It makes him look scary."
"I think it makes him look dashing." Ruiko confessed.
"Yeah, if the murderous psychopath look was dashing." Naru scoffed.
"Well, I think it is." Ruiko said, crossing her arms defensively.
"Rui-nee, no offense, but your taste is weird." Park-chan said with a shake of her head.
Ruiko just shrugged.
"Isn't he like a high schooler?" Maki-chan said trying another tack. "That's like, what, at least three years older than you? You sure he's not a lolicon?"
"It's only three years," Ruiko said with a frown. "That's nothing. Plenty of couples have larger age differences."
"Yeah, but those are adults." Akihiko-kun insisted. "You're still only a Middle Schooler. At our age, three years is a big deal."
"Yeah, Rui-nee! It really sounds like he's a lolicon here!" Ryo-kun pressed.
"If that's the case then wouldn't that make Sequenzia-san one too? She's about the same age as Accel."
"Hey! Don't drag me and my girlfriend into this!" Naru said with her hands raised in surrender. "I wasn't the one who called your boyfriend a lolicon."
"No, but it does indicate a double standard here." Ruiko said, as she leveled a glare at everyone in the room. "One I will not stand for."
"Okay, let's all calm down here." Takeshi-san said placatingly. "Ruiko is right. We don't make an issue of Namikaze-san dating a high schooler, so we shouldn't do it for Ruiko either."
"Okay, even if we set the age difference aside," Banri-chan jumped into the arena once things cooled down a little. "Like Park-chan said he's scary. I mean, the rumors said he's a killer even."
"And he, um, likes killing." Haruue-san hesitantly added in support of her best friend.
"So what?" Ruiko said, starting to get angry. "I'm a killer too. So is Naru and most of the Level 5s, except Mikoto-Sempai and maybe Number 8. The rest of us had to get our hands bloody to survive the City's Dark Side as it tried to consume us. You can't judge Accel for that."
Not without judging me too, Ruiko added mentally to herself.
"It's not the killing per se," Ai-nee said soothingly. "We get that most of you Level 5s have been forced to do it at one point or another, but, well, it's the fact that he enjoys it."
"And what makes you think he does?" Ruiko asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Um, the internet?" Kenta-kun said evasively for the room.
Tellingly, most of the people in the room were shooting looks at Banri-chan who in turn was very carefully avoiding looking at Haruue-san. For her part, said telepath was also quite pointedly shrinking into herself as she shot nervous glances at Uiharu.
Thanks to her Judgement training her best friend didn't give her sources away, but Ruiko didn't need tells to figure out where the computer expert got all this hearsay.
"Most of you heard these things from Banri-chan, right? Who heard those things from Haruue-san, who in turn heard it from Uiharu who heard it from Naru and Mikoto-Sempai, right?"
"So it was based on hearsay, so what?" Naru stepped in. "You want to tell us that the stuff said about Accel is wrong?"
Ruiko raised an eyebrow at her blonde friend. Why is she against me on this? I thought she was on my side!
"Look, Ruiko, your family is just worried here okay?" The blonde continued. "Accelerator is a pretty bad person to to have any kind of relationship with, and that's not based on hearsay but my own personal experience with him. So if you want your family to approve, you've gotta convince them."
Part of Ruiko rebelled against the idea of needing to prove anything, but the more practical side of her won out. Naru was right. She needed to do this, or her family wouldn't stop pulling stunts like this to undermine her relationship with Accel.
"Fine," Ruiko said with an exasperated sigh as she came to that realization. "I'll show you how nice Accel can be."
"What do you mean?" Khulan-chan asked for the group.
As if in answer to the question, the doorbell rang at that moment and Accel's voice called out from beyond the threshold.
"Ruiko, let me in. I got what you asked for."
"Come in, Accel." Ruiko told her boyfriend as she unlocked the front door with a little telekinesis.
"What's he doing here?" Kuroko-san said, expressing the surprise that permeated most of the room.
Ignoring the question, Ruiko stood and walked over to greet Accel with a chaste kiss.
"What's with the crowd?" The Number 1 asked with a quirked brow as they pulled apart.
"It's just an impromptu gathering is all," Ruiko told him evasively. "Did you get it?"
"Here," he said handing her a shopping bag from one of the bigger pharmacy chains in the City. "I got the brand that Yoshikawa recommended but if you don't like it, I'll go get you another one."
Offering him a sweet smile, Ruiko took the bag. "I'm sure it'll be fine."
Turning to the rest of the room, she said, "If you'll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom."
"You need any help?" Kaa-san asked seriously, but with just a tint of teasing.
"I think I'll manage." She told her mother confidently.
With that said, she headed upstairs to the en suite in her bedroom with the supplies her boyfriend had kindly provided her in hand. She had some rather private business to attend to.
"What was that all about?" Hoga-kun asked, sounding perplexed.
Kazari had an idea and it made her stomach churn uncomfortably. If she was right… Then they had probably chosen the worst day possible for their little intervention. A look at the other girls showed her that they were all pretty much thinking the same thing.
We screwed up! Uuuh, I need to coordinate with Namikaze-san. We need a backup plan if this goes further south!
"I bought Ruiko some tampons." Accelerator answered Hoga-kun's question without any hint of embarrassment. "Her first period started this morning. She freaked the hell out, especially when she discovered that there weren't any tampons or pads or anything in the house at all."
"My fault," Kiyama-Sensei chimed in to corroborate the story. "I ran out and forgot to buy more."
The group shifted uneasily as they all finally realized their terrible timing.
"Um, why did you have to buy it?" Kazari questioned the Number 1. "Why couldn't Saten-san do it herself?"
"I asked her that myself. She didn't tell me." The pseudo albino said with a frown before his gaze swept over the crowded room. "But looking at all of you, I think I can guess."
She knew we were coming and didn't want to put this off.
The group all sighed as they came to the same conclusion.
"That girl, she must have been spying on us. We'll need a bunker room for meetings at this rate." Sato-san groaned.
"She'll just hack the systems the moment we invite her inside and install some kind of backdoor for remote access," Izumi-san pointed out. "Rui-nee is paranoid like that."
"She totally would," Khulan-san said with an exasperated sigh.
"Mm," Kazari nodded, "I'll have to watch out for those if we ever try this again. Maybe we shouldn't though…"
Ignoring them, Accelerator just continued with his explanation. "It's obvious to me that Ruiko knew you lot were going to try whatever you're doing and that you'd put in a lot of effort to organize it. So rather than let it all go to waste, she called me to get her the stuff she needed, making do with things in the meanwhile."
"She used her powers to mitigate the symptoms," Kiyama-Sensei added. "And asked me to stay since everyone would expect me to be here for this intervention."
Oh, Saten-san. Kazari thought with exasperation. Surely Saten-san must have been feeling incredibly uncomfortable even with the help of her powers and yet instead of prioritizing her own comfort, she had put her friends and family first.
"So this is an intervention?" Accelerator asked, his eyes narrowed. "What about?"
"Like you can't work it out," Namikaze-san said with a shake of her head. "They were worried, what do you expect they'd do?"
"Respect Ruiko's decision?"
"Easy for you to say, Accelerator." Misaka-san said with a frown. "You're the one she chose."
"That has nothing to do with it," the Number 1 insisted. "It's her choice."
"Yeah, we covered that already." Namikaze-san said tiredly. "Let's not go over it again."
Accelerator frowned and looked ready to contradict that when Shinoda-san cut him off with a question.
"Accelerator-san, how did you know what to buy Ruiko?"
"Tch, that busybody Yoshikawa told me. She's annoying like that."
"Who's this Yoshikawa-san?" Park-chan asked, confused.
"She's his guardian," Namikaze-san explained helpfully.
"Wow, that had to be awkward to buy." One of Saten-san's brothers noted.
Accelerator just shrugged. "It's wasn't a big deal. Who's going to rattle me about it? Only idiots."
Ah, why do I feel like he just insulted a few of us?
"Besides, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. My girlfriend needed my help. That was all there was to it." Accelerator insisted.
"And that's why you're a sweet boyfriend." Saten-san said as she returned. "The sweetest."
The terrifying Number 1 that struck fear into many throughout the City huffed in embarrassment at the compliment and looked away, but couldn't help smiling slightly as Saten gave him a light kiss on the cheek as a thank you.
The sight was so cute, something many probably never thought they'd associate with Accelerator of all people, that the entire gathered group were rendered speechless.
After that the intervention just fell apart. It seemed pointless to continue after Accelerator had proved that he could be such a sweet person. Most of Saten's family still wasn't convinced that he was a good fit for her but they at least weren't actively opposed to it anymore. For now at least.
As for Kazari herself? Well… So long as the Number 1 treated her best friend well, she had no problem with him. But if he hurt her… She'd show him just want kind of hell a skilled hacker could unleash on a person when they were sufficiently motivated.
As Naru headed back to her dorm after the failed intervention, she couldn't help but mull over what she'd seen.
Accelerator as a loving boyfriend? Who'd have thought?
I don't find it surprising at all. Kurama confessed. Even the most monstrous beings can be loving to their own family.
I guess. Naru conceded. But I still can't believe it, ya know?
That's because you're unimaginative.
Hey! Do you want me to punish you? Naru growled at her tenant.
For being honest?
Ugh! Fine. Naru said with a sigh. But I feel bad though. Accelerator and Ruiko are good together and I've been low key opposing them…
Then do something to make it up with them?
What though? Hmm… Naru hummed as she raked her mind for a good idea.
Maybe something to do with their kids? Kurama said with a shrug. Parents always seem to like that.
Oh! Good one! I think I have an idea on what exactly to do too!
What do you have in mind? The ancient fox asked curiously.
You'll just have to wait and see. Naru teased as she walked into her dorm room and greeted Awatsuki-chan. Now, be quiet. It's roomie time!
It was a few days after her family's attempt at an intervention over her relationship with Accel and Ruiko was faced with a new family problem that left her very… frazzled. The reason was simple. Out of nowhere Last Order, Janie and Febrie had started to call herself and Accel Mama and Papa. Mama and Papa!
She blamed Naru. It had to have been her! How dare she corrupt her little girls while babysitting them! Urg, if she wasn't one of her best on call babysitters…
They needed revenge. It needed to be swift, it needed to be just, and it needed to be embarrassing!
Which was why she was over at Accel's place brainstorming with her boyfriend on how to do exactly that.
"Fucking jailbait just walked right up to the door. Like it was nothing. And then she corrupted the brat. Now she won't stop calling us that." Accel growled as he recounted how he'd learned of this, this madness. "She even convinced the brat to make daddy pedo jokes! I got stopped by mall security yesterday when the brat said one of those jokes while we were shopping!"
"What were you shopping for?"
"Panties. The brat needs a few more."
Ruiko sighed. "The worst possible time? It's almost like Naru-san convinced her to do it then on purpose."
"Yeah, I got stuck at the station for two hours until Yomikawa showed up to clear things up. And you can bet your horses that the [Rabbit] totally set it up."
"Agreed." Ruiko said with a firm nod. That sounded exactly like what Naru would consider a good laugh. "First things first, next time I'll take Order-chan shopping for panties. Secondly, let's go kill Naru."
"Whatcha waiting for!" Accel declared as he hobbled towards the door, his cane tapping agitatedly along the floor as he moved.
"Yomikawa-obaasan!" Order-chan cried out suddenly from where she'd been happily playing on her tablet nearby. "Misaka Misaka shouts to grab the attention of the responsible adult. Papa and Mama are plotting murder!"
"Triple murder her." Her ashen haired boyfriend snarled.
"Okay, stop." Yomikawa-san said as she stepped in front of the door, cutting Accel off. "How about a new plan for payback."
"What do you suggest?" Ruiko asked, her eyes narrowed.
"She dating anyone?" The teacher and Anti-Skill agent said with a knowing look.
"Oh yes, she is." Ruiko stated, her eyes glowing maliciously as she caught on to what the older woman was suggesting.
"She liked it!? She got punished by her girlfriend and she liked it!?" Accel said asked, incredulous at the turn of events.
"She's a masochist apparently." Ruiko said with a sigh. "She even thanked me for telling Sequenzia-san all that dirt on her. It apparently gave her the incentive to, in Naru's words, be more aggressive."
"What the heck did they do!?"
"I don't know and I refuse to find out." Ruiko told her boyfriend firmly. "Naru did insist she was still a virgin when I asked and that her punishment wasn't really sexual, but like I said I don't want to know."
"I can agree with that." Accel conceded. "So messing with her relationship is a fail?"
"Yes," Ruiko concluded with a frown as her boyfriend groaned in disappointment.
"So any other ideas?"
"You know you two are obsessed, right?" Kaa-san noted as she walked by them on her way to the kitchen. "It's not like you two really mind what the kids are calling you."
"It's the principle of the matter," Ruiko insisted, as Accel nodded in agreement. "Naru had no right influencing the girls like that."
"Whatever you say." Kaa-san said with a shake of her head. "Continue your plotting then."
"We shall," Ruiko replied peevishly as her mother left to return to her labs via the hidden elevator.
"Ugh. I have no good ideas! What about cream pies raining down on her?" Accel suggested after a long contemplative silence.
"She'd eat them."
"Why is she so damn perfect?!" The Number 1 said as he gnashed his teeth and his eye twitching dangerously. Was that a vein popping on his forehead?
"She's just immune to our teasing." Ruiko jealousy pointed out. "But she does have a weakness."
"Yeah?"
"To the internet." Ruiko pointed out. "She got all riled up over some smutty fanfiction a while back."
"Have you tried showing it to her girlfriend?"
"Yes, it was one of the things I revealed to her. She was just amused by the whole thing."
"Damn. So this time you've gonna be more direct and abuse your info control skillz to mess with her?"
"Yes. I'll get my payback!"
"How exactly?"
"I'll sneak into her dorm, glue rabbits ears to her head, take photos and spread it all over the net!"
"We turned her into an adorable meme!" Accel screamed in anguish as the results of their latest revenge scheme backfired on them once again. The internet was roaring and the Number 2 was a craze for the weekend it seemed.
"We did," Ruiko said with a dejected sigh. "Back to the drawing board."
"Yeah," the Number 1 said with an equally disappointed sigh.
While the two Level 5s were plotting up yet another harebrained revenge scheme against their mutual friend, their daughters looked on with chagrin.
"Papa and Mama are back at it. Misaka Misaka says with a sigh of exasperation," Last Order said with a shake of her head.
"It's their daily time for hating on Naru-nee." Febrie agreed.
"They'll be fine in a bit." Janie insisted.
"Even the kids see how ridiculous they are." Nunotaba Shinobu, the girls' nanny, said as she facepalmed. "Why can't they just take the high road here?"
"Because that would be conceding defeat and we won't do that!" Accel insisted.
"Not in a million years!" Ruiko added.
Shinobu and the duo's three daughters just sighed.
Despite Ruiko and Accelerator's annoyance with her, Naru knew she remained one of the few babysitters available when their girls' nannies, Shinobu-san and Yoshikawa-san, were busy. As such, despite their growing friction with their fellow Level 5, when their two regular nannies once more were busy attending a conference, the couple nevertheless was forced to leave their daughters in her care once more.
Unfortunately, on this occasion she was faced with an urgent matter of her own. One that came up right in the middle of babysitting the trio of young girls.
Ugh! Why do I have to get a mission now!? The blonde cursed as she tried to think of a solution to her predicament. What the hell should I do? Maybe I can drop them off at the 177th Branch? I'm sure Uiharu and the others can take care of them.
And what's to say they're not out on a case? Kurama asked.
Nothing… Naru admitted with a frown as she looked towards her charges which were busy playing a round of the Game of Life board game back in Yomikawa-san's living room while she'd taken her call from her handlers out on the balcony.
Exactly. So you're stuck.
No, I'm not. Naru thought as she hit with a moment of inspiration. I know just who can sub for me.
Who?
You! Naru declared cheerfully as she forcibly summoned her tenant from his prison inside her soul.
"W-What? Me!? You meant me?"
"Yup," Naru told him with a vulpine grin. "You're perfect."
Kurama looked down at himself and then back up to Naru. "Why?"
The pain at her betrayal rang clear in Naru's ears and it was wonderful.
"This is for abandoning me to deal with Gunha-sempai's madness alone the other day," Naru informed the diminutive looking fox with a grin.
"If I apologize can my safety be assured?"
"...No."
"You vindictive bit-!"
"Kurama-chan!" Naru say chidingly. "Mind your language."
"I will remember this!"
"Ssh." Naru told him. "Now stay here. I'll say my goodbyes and then introduce you to the girls."
Kurama grumbled under his breath but nevertheless nodded his agreement.
"Girls, I'm so sorry I need to go." Naru informed the girls apologetically.
"Aw~!" All three little girls whined.
"But I'm leaving you in good ha- I mean, paws." Naru said with a cough to cover her mistake. "Kurama, come in and introduce yourself."
The fox shot her a look that could have curdled milk but which Naru ignored through the ease of long practice.
"Hello girls, my name's Kurama." The ancient demon greeted the adorable girls, all of which had stars in their eyes as they looked at the cute little form she'd crafted for the fox.
"Be nice to each other!" Naru ordered the four.
"Hai~!" They all chorused, the girls energetically and the fox in a defeated voice.
"Okay, then I'm off. I'll be back soonish. Stay out of trouble!"
With that last admonishment Naru teleported away, sure that she'd left her charges in good paws. Surely, the Scourge of the Elemental Nations could keep a bunch of little kids safe, right?
Right?
"So, um, what do we do now?" Kurama asked the moment his jailer teleported away.
"Cute!" One of the twins - He thought it was Febrie, but honestly couldn't be sure. - cried out delightedly as she tackled him and began rubbing her cheek against his flank while hugging him to herself.
"No fair! I wanna hug him too." The other twin - Janie, probably. - cried with a pout as she lunged at her sister and began pulling him out of her arms.
"Girls, girls! There is enough Kurama for everybody, gah! Do not pull the tail! Ow, that hurts!"
The twins ignored him and continued their tug of war even as their older sister stepped over to pat him on his head like he was a common cat or dog.
"Your fur is so fluffy, Misaka Misaka notes. It's wonderful to the touch, Misaka Misaka says in awe."
"Enough!" Kurama roared as the twins gave no sign of letting up, unleashing a small burst of raw chakra to knock all the girls back.
In the process, the twins finally dropped him and as he landed on his own feet again, he took a moment to regather himself after his ordeal. The girls in the meantime had gotten back to their own feet and were looking at him with very contrite expressions.
Can't have that… If they go home to their parents looking like that, there's no telling what'll happen to me. Time to make a sacrifice.
"Look, it's okay. I'm not angry." He reassured the trio. "Just, please don't play tug of war with me, alright? There's plenty of me to go around."
"We're sorry," the twin he'd pegged as Febrie said. "We promise to not do it again. Right, Febrie?"
I've got them wrong the whole time!?
"Um," the other twin said with a nod. "I promise."
"Misaka Misaka promises too, Misaka Misaka says to not be seen to be left out." Last Order added. "Even though she did nothing wrong, Misaka Misaka adds under her breath."
"Okay, now do you want to pet me?"
Three tiny hands immediately shot into the air.
"Go right ahead then," Kurama said against his own better judgement.
Hours of pleasurable torment later, Kurama had finally extricated himself from his predicament by taking the youngsters out to the nearest Dairy Queen for some snacks. The walk there had been quite the challenge, since the girls kept getting distracted or tried to wander off. He'd been forced to use his tail and even grow one or two more just to guide them along, a sight that had earned them their fair share of odd looks from passersby.
Despite it all though, he preserved and was now about to be rewarded.
"So your order's one Candy Cane Oreo Blizzard, a Royal New York Cheesecake, a Turtle Pecan Cluster Blizzard and a Frosted Fudge Brownie Blizzard."
"That's right." Kurama dutifully confirmed as he used his tail to hand over a cashcard. "Here's my card."
Well, it was actually Last Order's card, but it wasn't like Naru had left hers with him so he was out of options. Besides, the owner was getting a share too so it was fine.
Why did Robogirl give her daughter a cashcard with that much money anyway? There's a small fortune on that card! The girl's barely a year old and less than 10 mentally!
"Um, alright. Give us a few minutes to get it all set. Thank you for coming to Dairy Queen." The cashier said with a forced smile as he quickly swiped and returned the card.
It was only Kurama's superhuman hearing that let him pick up the poor boy's muttered followup. "Only in Academy City. Today it's a babysitting talking fox, what's it gonna be tomorrow? A sexy vampire nun?"
"I wouldn't say it's impossible." Kurama told the cashier seriously. "This city just seems to attract the weirdos."
The boy just nodded as he handed over a tray with their order, which Kurama used a pair of his tails to take hold of.
"Enjoy your meal," the cashier said with a smile even more strained that the one he was sporting earlier.
"Thanks," the ancient chakra beast said as he carried his order over to the table where he'd left the girls. "Have a nice day."
"So explain to me why Ruiko is pissed with you again," Naru demanded as they walked home from Yomikawa's apartment at the end of the day.
"Well, like I said I took the girls to Dairy Queen."
"Without asking permission?"
"I didn't know I had to," Kurama said in what was assuredly not a whining tone.
"Ugh, you idiot!" Naru snapped at him. "Whenever you look after little kids it's just common sense to ask their parents for permission before taking them out of the house."
"Well, sorry. I didn't know that." Kurama said defensively. "This is my first time babysitting. Ever."
"Yeah, yeah." Naru said dismissively. "So that's why she was stomping on you like a madwoman when I showed up?"
"Yeah. She was there when we got back and didn't want to listen to my explanation-"
"Excuses, you mean."
"Explanation." Kurama insisted. "Instead, she just used some gravity power on me that dragged me down to the floor and started stepping on me like I was a bug."
"She gets that from Accel." Naru noted with a chuckle.
"Well, wherever she got it. She needs to stop doing it. Bullying innocent animals is a sign of a villain."
"You're hardly innocent." Naru snorted. "Besides who said we're heroes?"
"No one," Kurama said with a sly grin. "You're the one who just suggested it."
"Oh shut up!" His jailor said with a blush at being played, though that did nothing to hide the tentative smile she was sporting at being compared with a hero.
That's one more step. Kurama noted, pleased with his latest small victory. One of these days I'll totally get you to believe you're a hero. I swear it.
Back at Yomikawa's place, Ruiko turned from watching Naru and her familiar - as much as she hated using the magical terminology, nothing else really fit the dynamic between those two - walk off on their way home to face her little girls.
"So what have you three learnt from today?"
"Kurama-chan is fluffy." Febrie declared with a serious nod, as if presenting the discovery of the century.
"He is easy to convince to get us sweets. He loves them too." Janie added in a cute scholarly tone.
"Saten-mama likes to step on him. Misaka Misaka notes with demented glee. He is very squishable."
Ruiko just groaned in frustration. Revenge was needed for Naru ditching her children with her murder demon! These were not the life lessons she wanted her daughters to be learning damnit!
A week later, Ruiko was elated as she reviewed the results of what she was sure was the perfect revenge for her friend's many infractions against her lately.
Through blackmail and subterfuge, Ruiko had managed to induce a shortage of flour in the City by messing with the delivery schedules of the suppliers and buying them out. Without this vital ingredient there was now a shortage of the cakes that the Number 2 enjoyed so very much.
Of course, her rather drastic action was not without side effects. For one, the cake shortage had led to Uiharu going practically catatonic.
I'll have to make it up to her. Ruiko reminded herself as she rubbed her hands in glee at finally getting back at Naru.
"Don't look so happy!" Accel said with a frown as he walked into the living room with tea for the both of them. "I just saw this while the water was boiling."
"What is it?" Ruiko asked as she her boyfriend passed her a phone which was open to a chat log with a dated picture showing Naru happily snacking on some cakes. A picture dated to today. "What? How?!"
"I'm asking you that," Accel told her. "You're the info broker."
Ruiko frowned and took a dive into her intel database to see what she could figure out. It didn't take long for her to find the answer.
"That sneaky little fox! She's getting her supply via the black market."
"Come on! There's a black market for cake?!" Accel shouted in disbelief.
"Unfortunately, there's a black market for everything. "
"Are they at least cheap Chinese knock-offs?"
"No. They're from France. She got someone to smuggle them in from Tokyo."
"Fucking little-!"
Suddenly Ruiko's phone rang, cutting off the Number 1.
Picking it up, the Number 3 answered, "Hello Director Oyafune. How can I help you?"
"Hello Ruiko-chan. I will need you to stop all this pettiness between you and Namikaze-chan. People are suffering. Do you know how badly the food and beverages industry in the City has been hit by the disruption you've caused these last few days? I must add, I am getting irate as well. The prices for baked goods of any kind has practically tripled overnight thanks to this! So this stops now. Understood?"
Ruiko felt her spine go ramrod. "Um, yes, Director. I'll be sure not to have you call me over this… childishness again, hehehe."
Her awkward chuckle rang hollow and her boyfriend looked at her worriedly.
"Honestly, would you like some actual advice on how to properly settle this dispute you're having with your friend?"
"Um, sure?" Ruiko replied uncertainly.
"Have you tried to talk it out?" The elderly woman said, with what Ruiko swore was a grin on her face.
Ruiko just blinked in confusion. How would that help?
The last couple of weeks had been insane for Ruiko with one upheaval in her family after another. First was that silly attempt at an intervention over her relationship with Accel, then there was Naru going behind their backs to convince the girls into calling her and Accel their parents, followed by the whole Kurama debacle and interspersed with her attempts at revenge at Naru backfiring time and time again.
She was thus quite pleased that for the time being at least things had settled down. It gave her time to plot.
I can't do anything that'll upset the Board of Directors again, so what can I do?
Unfortunately for Ruiko, her musings were interrupted when the doorbell rang suddenly.
"A visitor?" She asked with a frown. As far as she knew, they weren't expecting anyone.
Nevertheless, she walked over to the door to see who it was. All the while, using a host of diagnostic and sensory powers in her catalogue to try and determine the identity of her unexpected caller.
What's she doing here? Ruiko frowned as she recognized who was at her door.
A frown that stayed on her face when she opened the door and greeted her guest. "Hello Kazakiri-san."
"Hello, um, Onee-san." The buxom high schooler with golden colored eyes hidden behind large glasses and long dark brown hair that reached down towards her lower-back, but with a part of it is tied off to the side of her head and left hanging down, returned hesitantly.
"O-Onee-san?" Ruiko sputtered as she blinked in incomprehension.
"Well, Onee-san is basically a prototype for me of sorts since I was created using data obtained from observing her Chrysalis Angel Mode." Kazakiri-san explained to the gathered residents of the Kiyama household sitting in the house's living room. "So since that's the case, I, um, see her as my Onee-san and, uh, decided to visit."
"And so I get another sister," Ruiko said with a resigned sigh. "That makes six now. Unless-"
"Unless what?" Shinobu-san asked curiously as Kazakiri-san fidgeted nervously.
"Kazakiri-san, Naru didn't put you up to this as a prank or something did she?"
"No, of course not." Kazakiri-san said immediately, waving her arms wildly in denial before shrinking into herself with a tearful look. "Onee-san, don't you want me to be part of the family?"
Before Ruiko could respond, her twins rushed forward to hug the artificial angel/human.
"Of course Mama does," Febrie insisted.
"Yeah," Janie added. "She's just in d-de- Shinobu, what's the word?"
"Denial," the nanny dutifully replied.
"That's it," Janie said with a grateful nod to the older girl with the perpetually unkempt hair. "Mama is in denial."
"We like Auntie Hyouka already," Febrie insisted. "And Mama always likes who we like!"
"Yup," Janie agreed with a firm nod.
Did my twins just strongarm me? Ruiko blinked in shock for a moment before a proud grin spread across her face. Atta girls!
"This is just another day in this household isn't it?" Shinobu-san muttered quietly with a sigh as she looked on at the unfolding drama with exasperation.
Kaa-san in contrast just radiated amusement.
"Ruiko, first you make me a grandmother before I'm forty and now you're giving me new children too? You better be paying for her things. I don't make that much money."
"You have a sports car!"
"So?"
"The fuel for it alone is worth a fortune a month."
"Not as much as raising a child. I should know, I'm raising eleven of them."
"Then what's one more?"
"The risk of bankruptcy."
"I know our finances are nowhere near that bad."
"Your finances, maybe."
"Err. Onee-san? The Chairman pays for my expenses, so-"
"Even worse. Now we owe tank man money."
"Kazakiri-san, if you're calling me Onee-san then you're part of this family and we don't need that man's help to take care of one of our own."
"This got serious quickly." Shinobu-san commented with another sigh. "Then again why am I not surprised? That's par for the course with this household too."
"So we're getting a new Obaa-chan?" Febrie asked curiously.
"It appears so." Shinobu-san concluded.
"Yay!" The twins cheered in glee.
And that was how Ruiko got herself another sister out of nowhere.
Why on Earth is my family situation so insane!?
Done and done! Thanks to Nameless as always!
And so, the war between the Top 3 comes to an end. With crazy shenanigans results. Ah, plain hilarity. Tis most joyous.
Nameless: Indeed. The Great Academy City Prank War is at an end for now. It's just an armistice though, expect it to flare back to life eventually. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the prank war between the Top 3. It was amusing as hell to just brainstorm ideas for it much less write it out. We had a blast doing so and we hope you had just as much fun reading it.
Yeah, some parts just felt like we were jumping around because it was. We connected the sections as best we could. Hopefully it was acceptable.
Nameless: A lot of stuff happened this chapter, huh? Some of which connected better than others too, right? Well, that's because this is an amalgam of a number of slice of life ideas we had for Ruiko that we decided we wanted to cover in a slice of life arc. Originally, we had a tentative idea to separate out some of them into their own chapters but as Naru and Mikoto's contributions to this slice of life arc developed we decided to compress Ruiko's one into a single chapter to match theirs. So apologies for any sense of disjointedness you might have felt reading this chapter.
Fluff chapters are always a treat to write and the trend continues on with this one. Hope you all enjoyed it!
You know what to do! Smash that review button and tell us what you love! No flames and peace off my peeps!