It's 5:30 am and Grace Florrick was making tea for breakfast. She usually wakes up early to have a moment of peace before going to work. She used to pray in the morning too, it's been a couple of months since she hasn't started her day that way.
"Hey, good morning." her husband, Connor, came down the stairs with their baby in his arms. "Look who is already awake."
"Hi sweetie." Grace kissed her daughter's head.
"Ma." the baby babbled.
"What are you doing?" Connor asked his wife.
"I'm doing therapy homework…see? I'm making an effort." Grace showed him the notebook.
"I don't doubt it. What do you have to do?" Connor put the baby on the high chair.
"Dr. Anderson asked me to write down 5 times that my dad hurt my feelings."
"Only 5?"
"Very funny." Grace hit him playfully with the notebook. "I'm not sure how this helps me."
"Do you like therapy so far?"
"It's weird. I'm not used to sharing"
"I know."
3 weeks ago they had the argument that prompted Grace to seek therapy.
"If you had postpartum depression…"
"I don't have postpartum depression." Grace interrupted Connor's hypothetical.
"But if you had, you'd go to the doctor. It's normal." Connor argued to his wife. "So why don't you want to get help?"
"Because I'm fine."
"Grace, in 2 years you won an election, got married and had a baby. That's a hell of a run. But you're struggling now. I'm seeing you struggling with Debbie."
"Don't…"
"Grace, please. I've seen you doubting yourself when you hold her, I've seen you stare at nothing when you are in her room. Whatever it is, you don't want to talk about it with me but you have to talk to someone."
Grace finally admitted she needed help.
"Besides, we have a lifetime to talk." Connor reassured her. Grace felt lucky to have an understanding partner, but she knew Connor's patience wasn't infinite. She had to take a step forward.
"Alright, here goes nothing…on Thanksgiving 2016, I had an emotional meltdown." Grace said. "I think that's what they're called."
"A meltdown?"
"I cried for like an hour, I couldn't stop. It was very embarrassing. I like to think it was just some teen angst."
"What happened?" Connor asked.
"After my dad's trial I went to my summer scholarship in California. I got fired within 3 days and instead of coming back to Chicago, I lied to my parents and told them everything was okay. I worked in a McDonald's instead. Then when the semester began, I started drinking."
"Drinking?" Connor was surprised, Grace avoided drinking. Maybe she'd drink a glass of wine on special occasions. "Like going to parties and drinking?"
"No. More like I wanted to feel numb and sleep all day. I stopped going to classes, I only hung out with other kids who were also day drinking." Grace explained.
"Oh."
"A week before Thanksgiving break, someone gave me cheap vodka, it made me ill, I throwed up for 2 days. But I still got on a plane back to Chicago." Grace still can remember the smell from that cheap liquor.
"And then?"
"Well..I don't quite remember what happened, it's a blur."
And now:
'The Spectacular Thanksgiving meltdown!'™
Thursday morning at O'hare Airport, Alicia Florrick was waiting for Grace to arrive, she saw all the other families welcoming their loved ones and her excitement grew, her baby girl had been away for too long. After finalizing her divorce and figuring out what to do job wise, Alicia was ready to share the good news with Grace. The plan was for Grace to spend Thursday and Friday with her and then Saturday and Sunday with Peter and his fiancée.
Alicia spotted Grace, right away she got the feeling that something was wrong. Grace looked tired and not happy to be there.
"Grace!" Alicia hugged Grace tigh, the girl barely hugged back. "Are you okay? Was the flight too early?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Okay, let's go home. Marissa is waiting in the car." Alicia took Grace's bag.
"Marissa Gold?"
"Yeah, she's spending Thanksgiving with us. Grandma, Owen, me and you."
"Zach isn't here?"
"No. Thanksgiving isn't a holiday in France so he couldn't get the days off. He'll try to make it for Christmas."
They walked to the parking lot where Marissa was waiting. "Hi Grace."
Grace ignored her and got in the car.
"Is she okay?"
"I think she has jetlag."
Grace slept all the way home avoiding any conversation with her mom.
At the apartment, Veronica and Owen were helping out with the diner preparation waiting for Alicia to come back from the airport.
"We're home!" Alicia announced as she opened the door.
"My college girl!" Veronica welcomed her granddaughter with a big hug. "You're so skinny, are you eating?"
"Mom." Alicia warned her.
"What? She's skin and bones."
"Hi grandma." Grace said very uninterested then waved at her uncle "I'm gonna take a shower."
"Sure." Alicia watched Grace enter her room and closed the door behind her.
"Is she okay?" Owen asked her.
"I think it's jetlag." Alicia told her brother. "How's the turkey going?"
Grace sat down on her old bed. She didn't like what she saw around her. Stupid Obama poster, stupid stuffed animals, stupid Eiffel tower replica, stupid everything. She went through her drawers. Stupid school notebooks, stupid photos, stupid YA novels. She found the tin can Zach gave her with condoms 'just in case' . Stupid Zach. Stupid me .
At that moment Grace got a text from Evan, a boy from her former youth church group.
Evan V:
*Happy Thanksgiving!
Are you in Chitown?*
They sort of had a thing in her senior year. She doesn't remember giving him her new number. Stupid Evan.
An hour later Grace hadn't come out of her room, Alicia knocked on her door.
"Grace? Is everything okay?" She waited for an answer. "Wanna eat something? It's gonna be a while until dinner."
The door opened up, Grace had showered but she was wearing the same clothes. "I'm fine."
"Okay." Alicia couldn't read Grace. "Do you need to talk? You know you can tell me anything."
"What happened to Jason?" Grace asked her. "Weren't you dating him? He gave you a piece of land on Mars or something."
"Oh." Alicia didn't expect that. "We broke up."
"Uh. Weren't you upset he was leaving Chicago because you loved him."
"I…We'll that's personal, Grace. But it just didn't work out." Alicia explained to Grace.
"Right, right, right." Grace said very quickly. "I guess I'll eat something."
The teenager rushed to the kitchen where Veronica offered her wine first.
"Do you want a glass, dear?"
"God no." Grace pushed away the wine, the smell made her sick. Grace didn't tell them that 3 days ago she was puking her guts out because of alcohol.
"Mom, why are you offering her wine? She's 18." Owen told her.
"Come on, she is in college." Veronica said. "You're going to parties, right Grace?"
"Sure. Party all the time." Grace felt her phone vibrate again, another text from Evan:
* My fam is crazy today lol. How's yours?*
"How are you doing in school?"
"What?" Owen's question brought Grace back to the room.
"How's Berkeley?"
"Oh. I'm failing every class." Grace replied. Owen chuckled thinking it was a joke. "I stopped attending half of them. I feel guilty because I know it costs a lot of money."
"Wait, are you serious?" Owen got worried.
"Can we watch the parade?" Grace changed the subject. "No, wait… It was hours ago, right? I bet I can find it online." Grace suddenly left the kitchen.
Meanwhile Alicia was getting concerned, Grace, like any teenager, had her weird days and disagreements with her but she never acted out like this. Was she acting out?. Alicia asked for help from the other young woman in the house.
"Marissa, I was wondering if you can do me a favor."
"Besides setting up the table?" Marissa put down the silverware. They saw Grace walk past the dinner room and into her room again.
"I see, you want me to figure out what's wrong with Grace?"
"Would you please talk to her?"
"Alright. But Grace doesn't like me." Marissa told her. "And I don't like her." She said under her breath.
Inside her room, Grace decided to text Evan back.
GF: *I'm back in town for the weekend.*
EV: *Wish I could see you 3*
Grace could hear her grandma's voice in her head. ' Boys only have one thing in their mind '
GF: *Let's meet*
A knock on the door and Marissa came inside the teen's bedroom.
"Okay, what's with the moody attitude?" Marissa crossed her arms and leaned against Grace's desk.
"Why are you here?" Grace snapped back.
"Because your mom was nice enough to invite me when she found out I was alone this year. Why are you being a drag?"
"Why aren't you with your own mom?" Grace replied.
"Are you jealous? Is that it? I think we were over that." Marissa shook her head.
"When mom was mad at Zach, we didn't have Thanksgiving. I had to spend it with a friend's family."
"Okay, let me give you a piece of advice." Marissa said enthusiastically and put her hands on her hips.
"Oh my God!" Grace interrupted her and with sarcasm said. "Is this one of those: 'Marissa Gold tells it like it is' moments? l'm so excited."
"The schtick of the misunderstood girl gets old." Marissa said. "Nobody cares about an 18 year old throwing a tantrum."
"What about your schtick?" Grace stood up to face Marissa. "Oh, look at me. My parents were workaholics who divorced when I was 5 years old, so I've been a little adult ever since. Aren't I cute?"
"Fuck you, Grace."
"Lovely language."
"You can't say it back, can you Gracie?" Marissa smiled. "You don't drink. Or swear. You get ill from one cigarette."
"Girls?" Owen took a peek inside the room. "Dinner is ready."
"Thank you, Uncle Owen. Let's eat."
"Oh, let's chew."
Alicia sat at the head of the table, Owen and Grace on one side, Veronica and Marissa on the other.
"Does anyone want to say Thanks?" Alicia asked the table but no one volunteered. "Alright, 'I'll do it. I'm thankful for having my family with me. I know it's been a couple of rough years but here we are, together."
"That's nice, sweetie." Veronica raised her glass. "I'm thankful for not kicking the bucket yet. Dig in!"
"Okay." Alicia rolled her eyes. "Sure, let's eat."
"So how's college treating you, Grace?" Marissa asked with no good intentions. "Because there are a lot of students who can't handle the pressure."
"I'm doing great." Grace told them with a smile.
"Yeah? What's your favorite subject? Your favorite teacher?" The young woman insisted.
"And how are you doing at law school? I hope you're not dropping out.. again."
"I didn't drop out the first time!" Marissa said. "It just took me a while to know what to do with my life"
"Let's change the subject." Alicia cut the escalation of animosities.
Grace received a reply from Evan, she checked her phone under the table.
EV: *Can we meet tomorrow?*
GF: *How about tonight?*
"Okay, have you met your dad's new baby, Grace?" Veronica asked her granddaughter. "You have a half-sister now."
"Not that, mom." Alicia facepalmed.
"I haven't." Grace replied with no emotion.
"You haven't?" Alicia asked. "I thought Peter visited you this September."
"No." the girl just shrugged.
"How weird is it that Peter is already engaged?" Owen continued the conversation. "I wasn't surprised he had a baby momma hiding in another city, but I thought it was gonna be a 25 year old bimbo, not an old flame."
"A divorcee too." Veronica added.
"Can we not talk about Peter like that?" Alicia told her family.
"Why?" Grace asked. "I don't care. I heard worse, much worse."
"He still is your dad." Alicia told her daughter. "He'll always be part of your life."
Grace again just shrugged and kept on texting Evan.
"Well, I'm moving to Miami." Veronica told them. "I'm sick and tired of Chicago's winters."
"Maybe you can get another husband, mom." Owen teased her. "A millionaire, preferably. And you, Alicia? You said you had news about a new job?"
"That's right. Simone Canning, Louis Canning widow, is moving to New York to open a law firm. She has offered me a partnership." Alicia was proud of the new direction her life was taking. "It's a great opportunity."
"So you're moving to the East coast?" Grace asked as she took in the news.
"Not yet. I still have to figure out my living situation and get my New York license. I think by January we can be opening the firm."
"That's great news." Marissa said. "Anyone should be happy to have you. You're a great lawyer"
"You're gonna conquer the big apple, sis." Owen raised his glass for her.
"Grace?" Alicia observed her daughter who was absent in thought.
Stupid, I'm nothing but a stupid little girl. Nobody likes me, nobody… "What?"
"I said that if you're still interested in being a lawyer, you can go to New York for law school." Alicia told her. "Columbia and NYU are good schools."
"Sure." Grace stared at her mom for a second then she continued texting while ignoring her food.
"You don't want me to move to New York?" Alicia asked.
"Whatever makes you happy, mom."
The tension at the table was rising, Veronica and Owen kept their eyes on Alicia, while Marissa was eager to give Grace another piece of her mind.
"You're obviously mad about something."
"You know what mom?" The teenager got up and said. "I got to go."
"Go where?"
"I'm going to dad's apartment."
"What? Now?"
"Yeah." Grace abruptly left the table and went back to the room, Alicia followed her this time.
"What's going on?" Alicia was anxious and not sure what to do. The teenager was putting her coat on, Alicia stopped her. "Grace, please, look at me, tell me what's wrong? Did something happen to you? Did I do something to upset you or hurt you?"
"I, I, I want to go. Just let me go" Grace didn't meet Alicia's eyes. "Please, l don't want to be here. I hate it here. I feel so stupid."
"You're not stupid."
"Please, I can't, I can't." Grace begged Alicia "I can't be here, I don't want to be here. Please don't make me."
"Okay." Alicia let go of the girl. "Okay. You don't have to stay. I'll call your dad, he can pick you up."
"I have someone waiting for me downstairs." Grace informed Alicia. "I'm leaving now."
"What do you mean someone?"
"A friend." The teen finished putting her coat on and left her room, she ignored the rest of the family on her way out.
"What's going on?" Veronica asked with concern. "Is she really leaving?"
Alicia nodded, still in awe of Grace's behavior. Alicia looked at Marissa to plead her.
"Yeah, I got it. I'll talk to her." Marissa got up and ran after Grace. She put her hand between the elevator's doors and got in with Grace.
"Leave me alone Marissa."
"Girl, why are you doing this?" Marissa sighed. "Get back to the apartment."
"Why do you care?"
"Because Alicia is my friend. You're upsetting her, she was looking forward to seeing you and you're being hurtful, you're breaking her heart."
"Then we're even." Grace replied.
"So much for the Christian good girl."
They arrived at the ground floor and stepped out of the elevator.
"Wait, did you get an uber on Thanksgiving?" Marissa saw the black escalade waiting for Grace. "Oh great, you're gonna get killed by a creep. I'm taking a photo of the license plate!"
"Hi Grace!" A young blonde man got out of the car. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes, of course. Thanks for giving me a ride."
"And you are?"
"I'm Evan Van Ray."
The name rang a bell for Marissa "Is your dad Evan Van Ray Sr. from the republican committee?"
"Evan, come on. Let's go" Grace got in the car.
Alicia stood in the corridor waiting for Marissa to come back. Owen and Veronica behind her.
"If she's on drugs or if she's pregnant, it's fixable." Veronica tried to comfort Alicia.
"Mom, come on." Owen said
"What? It's not the end of the world. Everything is fixable except death."
The elevator bell rang and Marissa came out. Alicia remained in silence waiting for Marissa to speak first.
"So, yeah, a friend picked her up." The young women informed them. "They're on their way to Peter's. I guess."
"I call hìm." Alicia said. They all came back inside the apartment. The lawyer made the phone call from her bedroom.
"Hello?"
"You were supposed to visit Grace. You went to San Francisco and you said you were gonna visit Grace."
"Uh." Peter was a little bit confused about the timing of the call. "Yeah, my meetings took too long so I couldn't drive to Berkeley."
"It's an hour away."
"I did call Grace and explained. What is this about, Alicia?"
Alicia sighed. "Grace stormed out of the apartment. She said she didn't want to be here and she was heading to your place."
"Now?"
"Yes, now."
"I'm not at my apartment." Peter told her. "I'm having dinner with Jackie and Howard."
"What is it dear?" Jackie came up behind him. "Everything alright?"
"Give me a second mom. "
"Well, she's on her way." Alicia reiterated.
"Alright, I'll call my doorman and tell him to let her in. But, what happened? Grace wouldn't act like that."
"I don't know Peter, Maybe she hates me now, maybe she hates you less. Text me when you see her."
Alicia didn't wait for a reply from Peter and hung up the phone. She once again sighed, she felt defeated and powerless. She thought those feelings were behind her. She went to the kitchen where the rest of the party was waiting for her.
"Listen, I don't feel like having dinner right now. You can go ahead and eat if you want to. Take some of it home. It's okay if you want to stay over, there's plenty of room, I'm not kicking you out. I'll be in my room."
The three of them stared at each other.
"Now what?" Marissa asked the adults
"I'll talk to her." Owen followed his sister to the bedroom.
"So, worst Thanksgiving ever?" Marissa asked Veronica
"Nah. Maybe top 5."
"Really?"
"I've lived a long life, sweetie." Veronica took a sip from the wine.
Owen found his sister curled up in bed. He sat next to her. "Mom is right, nothing is unfixable"
He got no answer from Alicia
"Grace mentioned earlier that she was failing her classes. l' ve been a teacher for a long time and some kids can't keep up with college. They need a little longer to adjust to it. Some of them feel home sick. I'm sure Grace didn't tell you about it because she didn't want to upset you."
"Stop it Owen." Alicia sat up and faced her brother. "I'm a failure as a mother."
"I think you're exaggerating."
"Zach is a college dropout who moved to a different continent because of a girl he barely knows And Grace... I don't even know." Alicia shook her head. "All the things I did for them, to protect them, to give them a normal life despite all the horseshit and in the end it didn't matter."
"Come on. They're young, they're gonna fucked up. But I'm sure they're gonna get their act together. Look at me! I'm sure dad thought I was lost cause at some point."
"Dad love you."
"And you love your kids. It's gonna be okay."
Alicia smiled. "Thank you Owen."
By the time Peter got to his apartment, Grace was already sleeping in her bedroom. He didn't want to disturbed her, he let her sleep and texted Alicia that Grace was home.
Grace slept late the next day, she woke up past 11 am. She was hungry and wondered to the
kitchen, she could hear Peter's voice in another room.
"Good morning, Grace." There she was, Peter's fianceé, holding their baby daughter. "How are you feeling?"
"Oh! Hi Mrs. Lytton."
"You can call me Ramona."
"Right." Grace looked at the baby. "Is that...?"
"Yes, this Angie." Ramona got the baby closer to Grace. "This is your sister, say hi to Grace."
"Hi, I'm...I'm..." Grace took the baby's hand, she couldn't control herself and started to cry.
After Peter finished his call, the sound of someone crying got his attention. He entered the kitchen and found Grace on the floor bawling her heart out. Ramona was helding Grace's head and softly caressing her hair.
"Shhh. It's gonna be okay."
"It's a blur?" Connor asked his wife while feeding their baby daughter.
"I remember bits and pieces." Grace replied. "I know I acted weird and rude, basically that was it (1) . On Sunday I apologized to my mom for acting that way. Then I went back to school to figure out what I could save from the semester, most of the classes I had to retake in January."
"And you just moved on?"
"I went back on track; I focused on school and being a good big sister." Grace drank from her tea.
"See Debbie? Your mom says she moved on." Connor talked to the baby. "But until this day, she hates Thanksgiving."
"I don't hate it."
"She still gets weird about it." Her husband continued saying to the baby.
Grace's phone rang, it was Zach calling her. She got up from the table to answer
"Hi Zach!"
"Natalie is pregnant." Zach said without any joy in his voice.
"Oh."
(1) No, it wasn't basically it, dear reader.