Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, made possible by the Ranger's Apprentice by John Flanagan. I have only borrowed his creation and I make no money. For this story I have used several other Rangers from the books, though I've also added my own. I do this only in the hope to entertain…

Author's Note: No harm shall come to the characters that can't be fixed with enough coffee…

Chapter 38

Dropping the document he had received onto the table Will turned towards the stove to make a pot of coffee. Since he got back he had to admit he had done a little more sitting about in the cabin, drinking coffee and brooding than he had done before. He could not help it, he found it hard to focus on his duties, even though he knew he should. Soon, Halt and Pauline would arrive and he both craved and dreaded it. Halt was like a father to him, at least that was the way he looked at him. He was not quite certain if Halt felt the same way, and he certainly would not now.

Halt would have been the only one who could make him feel better, who could help with the pain he felt. Halt always seemed able to do this, but this time Will just couldn't see it happening. He knew Halt and Pauline would have gone to Castle Araluen, and that meant they would see Crowley and they would find out what had happened. '

Halt had loved Gilan. If Will wasn't sure if Halt really saw him as a son, the way he saw a father figure in his mentor, he still knew that Halt loved him. He also knew he had loved Gilan just as much, if not more. After all, that was why Will still sometimes found himself jealous of Gilan.

He didn't like it, he hated when he felt that way, but Gilan always had seemed so confident and skilled. Will constantly found himself wondering if he would ever feel that way. Or if he would always feel like an apprentice just tagging along. He couldn't really picture Gilan ever having felt that way. They had such an easy and natural relationship he couldn't picture Gilan ever having needed Halt in any way, certainly not the way Will needed him.

Halt had loved Gilan though, there was no doubt about it, and now Will was responsible for his death. He couldn't see anyway that his mentor would not be furious with him.

It was strange that David had not blamed him, but then Knights seemed strange sometimes, even so, Halt had been closer to Gilan than his father had. That was sad in a way, but not something Will had ever worried about. Not that way, even if they weren't very close, Gilan had a father, which was more than Will had. He only had Halt, and Gilan, and well, if he was honest, he also had Alyss, Horace, Jen, George and his other friends. It was different though, they did not understand what it was to be a Ranger.

The document had been from Crowley, and he dreaded seeing what it was, which was why he was focusing very hard on making his coffee. It could very well be that Halt was back, and wanted Will to answer for what he had done.

Pouring the coffee he sat in a chair, staring at the table and the rolled up document with the ribbon and seal on it.

The coffee only lasted so long though, and he picked up the document. He might not feel very much like a Ranger at the moment, but he still was one and he would not ignore an official document from his Commandant.

As he read, he stumbled to his feet, never taking his eyes from the message. Dropping it on the table he found himself rubbing his eyes before reading it again.

He recognized Crowley's hand, and the seal had not been tampered with as far as he could tell. Yet he could not believe it.

According to the message, Gilan had been alive when they left. He had been alive when they made their way back to report his death. The whole time that Will had mourned him, he had been alive.

Crowley saying that he was hurt made him nauseas, but he was alive. He hated knowing he was hurt, but he was alive, he hadn't died. He would probably hate Will for the rest of his life because they had left him…

God, Sir David would know he had left his son behind…he had trusted what Harcourt told him. Halt would hate him, Halt would never forgive him for leaving without knowing for certain.

Yet he knew he had to go there, Crowley had ordered him to come. Perhaps he was worried Will would try to avoid his punishment. Either way, if there was one thing Will could still do, it was to stand up for what he had done. There was also Jenny to think about.

Jenny, he nearly lost his balance spinning around so fast. Jenny wouldn't know, who'd have told her? She was not a Ranger, she would not be included in the missives that Crowley sent out. She would have no way of knowing, and he owed her that much at least.

Barely making sure the fire could not spread from the stove he grabbed his cloak and ran for the small stable. Saddling Tug he made for the village, the little Ranger pony seemed to feel his contradictory storm of emotions and was almost skittish. He seemed to calm though as Will made for the small restaurant and Will left him in the yard.

When he entered the restaurant the first thing he noticed was a clanging and some odd thuds from the kitchen. Pushing past Rafe, Jenny's server and helper he slipped around the counter and through the door to the kitchen.

Coming to a stop, he laughed.

Jenny had a basket on the counter, and was trying to pile it high with food items. A couple loaves of bread had spilled over and fallen to the counter, a good chunk of ham was about to follow, and she was just putting half a wheel of cheese on top of a wrapped leg of mutton.

She did not even seem to see him as he darted forward and caught a jar of honey just before it fell to the flood. "Jen."

Even though he kept his voice down she gave a small shriek as she spun around. "Will!"

"You know then?" he stared. "I came to tell you, but you know, don't you?"

"I had a message, I couldn't understand from who first," she started, holding a jar of mustard. "It was from Ranger Commandant Crowley, I couldn't understand at first, I mean, he wrote to me before, but that was different. Then when I read, Will, he said Gilan is alive! He said he's alive…"

"I know, I got the same message," he nodded. "I came to tell you." Though he should have known that Crowley wouldn't have forgotten Jenny. He was too good a man for that, and Will really should have known he would have done so. "I've been ordered to report, and I thought I'd bring you with me. I'm sure we can ask Baron Arald for some help…" he did not even know if she could ride, or if they would need a carriage. Either way, he was sure the Baron would help. Not only was Baron Arald a kind and honourable man, but he was also a man who loved good cooking. Jen's cooking was more than good, and the Baron had always been kind to them when they were staying in the ward. He would help them now, he was certain of that.

"Why do you think I'm packing?" she waved a sausage at him. "There wasn't just the message from Commandant Crowley, there was one from Sir David as well, and Pauline. They've already sent a message to Baron Arald. It says he will make sure we have all we need to get there. I just got to bring some food, they've hurt him Will, they've hurt him bad…" tears filled her eyes, spilling over. "Pauline says she wanted me to know what to expect, so it won't be a shock when we get there, they've really hurt him bad, and I have to bring some food."

"Yes, I suppose," that would be a good idea, Gilan would need it he figured, but she had currently tried to fit about three full baskets worth of food into one. He could barely see the basket under the food piled around it. "But Jen, we can't bring that much… I'm sure that there will be some way for you to cook there. Pauline will see to it if you only ask her." Chances were that King Duncan would be all too happy to make sure she got the run of his castle kitchen. He seemed to recall having heard that King Duncan was nearly as fond of Master Chubb's, and Jenny's food, as Baron Arald was. "You can't bring that much…" he gave her an apologetic look.

"Oh," she stared at the heap of food items on the table. "I suppose I might have got a bit excited there."

"That's only natural, we should go see Baron Arald," he decided. "I know you want to leave right away, I do to, but we wouldn't get very far. And you might need something for the road. We should take care of all of that, and we can leave first thing tomorrow. Uh, you can't ride, can you?"

A carriage would really slow them down, but it might be the only way.

"I can ride," Jen drew herself up to her full height which wasn't very much. "I've never ridden that far before, not even close, but I can ride. Gilan made sure of that…"

"That's good," Will beamed. "It will make it easier. Let's go up to the Baron, you will need a horse. And a tent, we'll get everything ready today, and leave at first light, and that will give us time to figure out just how much of that you want to bring," he nodded to her small food mountain.

"Alright," she pulled out a broken hand pie from under a crock of beans. "You might as well have that, it's no good now anyway.

"Thanks," as much as he dreaded going to his judgment, he was desperate to see that Gilan really was alright. Whatever his punishment was, he would accept it, and he was glad for Jen, she deserved to be happy. He accepted the pie, quickly devouring it.

"If we took a heap of these with us up to the Baron, he'd give you his carriage and finest horses," he mused. "It's even better than they used to be."

"It's a new spice," she shrugged. "Gilan gave it to me, he always brings me little things like that."

"I didn't think he knew a lot about it," he frowned. Gilan certainly wasn't the best cook in the Ranger corps. Halt and himself was much better. Granted, he had never been the worst cook either. Unlike some he never got impatient for it to be done and tried to cook things to quickly. Leaving it raw on the inside and scorched on the outside. He knew about patience and letting the food take the time it needed, but he did not have Halt and Will's sense of seasoning and flavours.

Gilan knew to put pickles on a slice of beef, but he had no real feel for how much wine to put in the sauce for the rabbit. The best that could be said for his cooking was probably that he was determined, and he stuck to what he knew. He didn't try to get fancy when he knew he wasn't going to manage it. Instead he made a simple and fairly good stew, baked potato with butter and salt. It was never horrible to eat, but it was never quite as good as Halt's or Will's cooking either.

"Gilan's pretty smart you know," now Jen gave him a slightly annoyed look. "He asks about what it is, and what it's used for. Then he lets me see what I can do with it. You don't need to be an expert to ask if it's supposed to be for fish or beef."

"I suppose not," he found himself blushing slightly. She had a point, Gilan was smart, had always been pretty smart. If he didn't know what something was, he probably would ask about it before he bought it.

"He also knows I love trying new things, so I think it's very sweet of him," she added, firmly, giving him a scowl that made him swallow and glance around to make sure she did not have her ladle anywhere nearby. That thing was hard, and being hit with it really hurt.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I know Gilan's smart, I'm just not used to him really doing anything much regarding cooking. I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know, I'm sorry," Jen gave him a sad smile. "I'm just scared I guess, I can't believe he's still alive. I, I had to try and get used to him being gone, and I hated it, and even if the letter says he's alive, he's hurt, and I don't know how bad really. I'm scared Will…." Tears sprang to her eyes as she spoke, and a little awkwardly he stepped forward to embrace her. Jen had never been cruel when they were kids, she had been cheerful and sweet. He had always thought she made a good match for Gilan with her bubbly cheerful personality. Even if she was rather short and Gilan really dwarfed her standing next to her.

"I know, I'm scared to," he admitted. "But if it had been really bad, Crowley would have said so. He wouldn't have tried to give us more hope by lying. If he says Gilan will be okay, he will, and we're going there. He's going to be thrilled to see you." He would, and Will would make sure she got there as fast as possible. The fact that he dreaded his own reception was not going to stop him from getting her there.

When they arrived at the Castle, the Baron's Chamberlain, ushered them on into his office.

Will had been there enough times, in official business as a Ranger to recognize the large bowl of sweets that stood on the desk. Right next to the Baron's sword that he always had at ready. This time Lady Sandra was there as well, both of them smiling brightly.

"Great news, isn't it?" Baron Arald beamed. "I hadn't dared to hope give the news we had before, but this is great."

"It is," Will didn't need any prompt to answer that. It was great, losing Gilan had been a tragedy, not just a personal one, but for the Kingdom given his skill and determination.

"I hardly dare believe it," Jen breathed, then she seemed to realize where she was. "Oh, I'm sorry my Lord."

"None of that now," Arald waved it away. "Gilan's a great man, one of our best, and we have all mourned. This is no time for titles and such nonsense."

"And I know how you feel," Lady Sandra stepped forward, taking Jenny's hand warmly. "But it's the truth, no mistake, the message we had carried King Duncan's own seal, and he asked us to make sure you had what you needed to make the trip."

"I can ride, though I don't have a horse," she blushed.

"We got a good palfrey you will borrow," Arald waved it away.

"And I have two riding habits that we will have taken up a bit so you can wear them," Sandra told her. "You'll want something that is more suitable to riding."

"Oh, but I can't accept that," Jenny blushed.

"Of course you can," Sandra smiled, patting her hand. "Come with me, we'll see to it right away. I know you want to be on the way as soon as possible. We'll just see what needs to be done, and the tailer will take care of it. Let Will sort out the rest with my husband, he knows what other gear is needed." Taking the young cook by the hand she gently but firmly pulled her with her.

Will smiled softly as he watched her go, he had probably had a lot more dealings with the Baron and his wife than Jen had. Though he knew they had loved her food while she was apprenticed under Master Chubb, and delighted in frequenting her Restaurant for that very same reason, it was different from how it was for him as a Ranger.

As a Ranger, if it was needed for official Ranger business, Will had the authority to command the Baron. That was not something that was generally needed when it came to Baron Arald, he was a good man, absolutely loyal to King Duncan and he was always willing to listen to reason. He did not throw his weight around just because he could do it, and he was someone Will had always known he might approach if he needed help

The Baron and his wife not only cared for Jen personally he knew, but they held Gilan in very high regard as well, and would certainly do their best to make it as easy for her as possible to go.

"Since Jen isn't very experienced at camping, I think it's best if we stay in the inns as much as we are able," he mused. "But it might not be possible all the time, we also want to move as swiftly as possible. So we do need a little camping gear for her. A tent, a couple of blankets, my cooking gear will be enough for both of us, but she'd need a plate and a mug."

"Just write out a list, and Martin will see that you have it," Arald pushed a sheet of paper in front of him together with a pen and the ink pot. "I'd like nothing more than to go myself, but the way it sounded, I don't think that would be a good idea right now. Sounds like the lad had it a little too rough for that."

"Yeah, it did, didn't it…" Will paused in the middle of a word. "I thought no one could be stronger than Halt, and Gilan, he's just about as strong as Halt, isn't he? I can't really see how it could get so bad…" he hesitated, worried he had said something wrong. He did not want to sound as if he was criticizing Gilan. He certainly did not mean to do that. He did not know how Gilan would have handled Skandia and what happened to him there, but all he could think was that Gilan would not have accepted the warmweed as easily as Will had done. "It really hasn't been all that long," he hurried to continue. "I mean, it feels long because I've missed him so bad, but it hasn't been as long as it really feels. I can't see how they could manage to do something like that, to Gilan, in so little time…"

Arald was nodding slowly, thoughtfully, "do you know what a fulcrum is used for?"

"Yes, of course, moving large stones and logs and such," he nodded, frowning, unable to see what that had to do with anything.

Arald however was still just nodding slowly, glancing at the wall for a brief moment. "King Duncan is a pretty fairly formidable warrior, isn't he?"

"One of our best," Will instantly replied. "Not counting the Rangers, I think he is our best, isn't he? Amongst the Knights I mean? Just like you are."

"He is," Arald nodded. "Yet you know when he was held captive by Morgarath, Halt and Crowley rescued him. Which was harder because he was held in the tower, and he doesn't have a very good head for heights."

"A lot of people doesn't," Will shrugged. "That doesn't make him any less of a warrior."

"It certainly doesn't," Arald confirmed, gently patting his rather generous waistline. "And I'm good, but I'd be better if I had a bit more self discipline. I have no trouble with heights, even if I'm not very good at managing them, a bit too heavy I'm afraid. However, if you want to know what I really do find difficult, it's being under ground."

"Horace is that way as well, seemed odd at first, but it's not really so strange," Will shrugged again.

"So what does that make you think about Gilan?" Arald queried gently.

"I don't think he's scared of fulcrums," Will frowned. "I don't know if anyone could be at that, it doesn't make sense to be, and I don't see how they could have used one on him anyway."

"King Duncan is one of the bravest men I know, as formidable and relentless as a mountain. But put him high up, and you have your fulcrum that will tip it," Arald gave him a gentle smile. "The same for me and Horace if you want us in a small dark tunnel. The amount of time they had isn't really the question, nor is what we would have thought about it. It's really just a matter of if they found the one thing that would let them get to Gilan, isn't it? I've seen that boy take beatings, it usually doesn't bother him much. He did grow up in Battleschool, that tends to condition you against that," he added with a wry smile. "But every man has that one thing, something where you can really hurt them, and sometimes, no matter how strong you are, suddenly it's not enough."

"Oh," Will bit his lip. "That makes sense."

"It does, doesn't it," Arald nodded. "But I think, even if they did, Gilan will be able to overcome it. He's been through some pretty hard times before, and he usually manages to come out of it okay. He's a wily one that boy, I'd swear he's got more lives than a cat."

"Jen said he was real kind to them when he was an apprentice, but I don't think I ever noticed him much then, you knew him then, didn't you?" Will asked.

"I did, and a little before that," Arald nodded.

"Because he was with Halt at Hackham Heath?" it always seemed to come down to that, Will mused. That fateful battle that still seemed to rule so much of his life.

"Before Hackham Heath even," Arald smiled. "When he was no more than knee high to a grasshopper. David used to have him with him all the time, wasn't much else he could do I suppose, I met him first time at a tournament I think. Scrawny little thing, tall for his age, but then he always was at that," he shook his head. "Couldn't keep still even for a second, you could tie him up and he'd still manage to find himself trouble. Really handy when you wanted someone to run an errand though. There are always plenty of boys for that at those places, but most of them will rob you blind for it. Gilan was so happy to get to run somewhere he never even stopped to think he might get a coin for it."

"That does sound like Gilan," Will had to smile. He remembered how sometimes when he was young the Baron might toss him a copper for running this and there, doing something and that. Sometimes, he suspected he did it for the excuse to give the children a treat.

Arald chuckled, "it does, doesn't it. Suppose he really hasn't changed so much through the years. Never knew where he got all the energy, I thought he'd drive Halt out of his mind at times, and other times I'm sure he did. He was good for him though, Halt needs someone like that around. With Crowley being commandant he wasn't able to keep an eye on him. Gilan did that."

That made Will frown confused. "Gilan was the apprentice, how could be the one keeping an eye on Halt?"

"Gilan's a lot like Crowley," Arald sounded amused. "And Halt tends to keep to himself, even if it's not always what's best for him. With Gilan around, he had no choice but to curb some of his own instincts, he was barely able to keep up with the lad at times, or didn't you notice that when he took you as his apprentice, that he was around the castle a little more? But you are more like Halt is himself, that makes a difference."

Will nodded, pondering his words. Gilan did sometimes remind him of Crowley, not really in looks, but in the way he thought. "I guess I've been more focused on the other things," he mused as he continued with his list. "I always thought he reminded me more of Halt, but you're right." He paused again, pen poised over paper. "I think I've realized lately a few things I've been taken for granted…"

"Losing someone will make you do that," Arald nodded. "It's not often we're lucky enough to get a second chance Will. Sometimes, we all overlook things, it's not something you can be faulted for, but if you get the chance to look at it differently, that's a rare gift."

"I think I see that now," he nodded as he put the pen down and waved the paper gently to dry the ink. "I'm not going to repeat that mistake."

"I didn't think you would," taking the paper, Arald called for Martin and handed it to him, there was a lot of things to do, and not a lot of time for it, but he would be damned if he didn't make sure it all got done…

TBC Please review, the caffeine addicted Cricket is hungry…