VIII – "It's a solution"
The next few days brought relative peace and became a lot quieter – and Misato Katsuragi, while still bemused by the whole situation and the inexplicable change in her kids' behaviour, was counting her blessings. She was, of course, tempted to ask what exactly has happened behind that closed door – but ultimately decided that satisfying her curiosity was not worth endangering the current state of affairs. Still, she had to admit – if only to herself – that she was seriously confused by how the events have unfolded – and that she still had no idea what to think of it.
...
When she arrived at the site of negotiations, she found the kids already outside, both of them sitting on the floor, separated by the doorframe. Shinji stood up when he saw her approach and reported: "It is done, Misato-san. No need to clean up the blood."
"I hope you didn't trash the room, either", Misato remarked dryly. "And you were supposed to call me. If Section 2 had found you here without–"
"We tried", Asuka interjected as she jumped up from her place. "Didn't work. You may want to have someone check the intercoms or see if your Do Not Disturb isn't up. Anyway, can we get out of here? This place is weird. I mean, I spent most of my life in places like this, but this is weird even for me."
"Sure, come", Misato nodded, giving her kids confused stares. "Are two you all right?"
"I'm fine", Shinji said, his tone surprisingly determined.
"I'm fine", Asuka said, her tone somewhat peaceful.
Misato could immediately tell that something has changed – which was good, because this was the point of the whole exercise – but she could not put her finger on what.
And to an expert on the human soul – a role she definitely saw herself in – this was a reason to worry.
...
"Misato-san, do you want seconds?" Shinji asked.
"No, thank you", she shook her head. "I had some cake at work, one of the techs just wed and brought some Baumkuchen."
"Ah. Sure", he accepted with a smile and a nod. Then he turned to Asuka, silently gesturing towards her bowl, a quizzing expression on his face.
Asuka pondered for a moment, then nodded and handed him the bowl without saying a single word.
He then proceeded to fill it and equally wordlessly set it in front of her.
She just nodded to that and started eating.
Misato gave them an odd look and a raised eyebrow – but when they did not react to that, she decided not to ask. After all, the day at the office was tiring enough, and risking having a difficult parenting talk was not worth it.
Little she knew that this was only the beginning.
...
Misato's worries and confusion only grew in the following days as she noticed something odd: an increasing number of small pieces of paper appearing around the apartment.
Initially, she thought nothing of them; after all, due to their oft-unsynchronised schedules and her working odd hours, Shinji sometimes left her notes when she would come home late – or woke after the kids departed for school. But those were incidental – and those she now saw were much more common, appearing in random places a few per day at least. She also quickly realised those were not intended for her: first of all, they were written in English; second, they were clearly about matters that concerned primarily Shinji and Asuka – homework, school uniforms, shopping for groceries, disputes over chores, matters of misplaced clothing…
'Okay, maybe it works better for them than talking?' was her thought after a bit of pondering on the matter – and left it at this, quickly starting to ignore them.
...
And yet, her peace was not to last; soon enough something awoke her interest again.
The notes started to look different, more colourful. It took her only a few glances to realise that after a few days of just being scribbles, they started to be adorned with stamps in two colours: first red and then, a day later, green. A logical conclusion would be to assume that red ones came from Asuka – the girl openly admitted her love for that colour, after all – and the green, by the way of elimination, had to come from Shinji.
The problem was that the tone of many of the stamps made them look like both colours would be coming from Asuka – and a very irked Asuka, to boot. The only one that was neutral was OK, present in both colours; but there was also OK, OK! in red, LANGUAGE and LANGUAGE! in green, FFS and FFS! in red, YOU DON'T SAY? in green, MOVE OUT in red, DO IT YOURSELF in green, and many – confusingly many, suggesting dozens of different stamps at works – others.
Misato finally snapped when she found a request to do the dishes out of turn, stamped interchangeably with red and green in a sequence that escalated from a steadfast refusal (NO WAY in red) to pressure (DON'T BE ASS in green) to questioning ability (FIX YOUR GRAMMAR in red) to a sequence of outright verbal attacks (IDGAF in red, followed by NOBODY WOULD WANT in green), ending with open verbal violence. "What is going on, guys?" she started, turning to both of her charges – who were doing their homework at the kitchen table. "Could you please stop this? You two are driving me crazy!"
Two pairs of eyes gave her an eerily similar look, both indignant and questioning.
"You're not helping, you know", Misato remarked with a twitch on her face, her expression now a mix of serious worry and fear.
"Well, what do you want us to say? That we're sorry?" Asuka scoffed with a shrug and an aside look. "That's his line, not mine, and to his credit, it's not so common anymore."
"Why are you doing this?" Misato countered, ignoring Asuka's comment. "I mean… what's the idea?"
"It's a solution", Shinji stated matter-of-factly with a similar, almost mirror shrug, his tone serious and measured. "It solves the problem you had with us."
"Okay…", Misato started carefully, "I have to admit, your scores have stopped dropping, you even started to regain them a bit, I grant you that. But… this… I mean… why?"
"It solves the problem", Asuka echoed. "You want us to go back to what we had before?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No!" Misato shook her head vehemently, suddenly aware this was something of a threat. "But… could you please find some other way? Perhaps one that does not make me feel like a mental asylum patient?"
"Misato-san, why are you even reading those?" Shinji asked in a cautious yet insistent tone. "Any note meant for you would be pinned on the fridge."
"It would be nice if someone told me that before, you know?" Misato retorted with annoyance in her voice. "And still, even so, this… this is weird. Hard to ignore."
"It works", Asuka countered with a shrug. "You wanted the problem solved, and the problem is solved."
Misato turned her gaze to Shinji, reflexively looking for some help from him.
"I have to agree. It works", he replied, dashing any hope for sympathy, let alone salvation.
"But what about the… what's going on with the stamps?" Misato probed.
"Well, it started as a joke", Asuka admitted offhandedly. "Then it escalated. Those set-it-yourself stamps are really great!" she gestured towards an odd plastic contraption on the table, bigger than her hand. "Basically, they reinvented printing with stamping, Gutenberg way."
"And, I must admit, they are quite fun to use", Shinji added, gesturing to a similar contraption in his bag.
Misato glared at them for a while, then shook her head, pulled a can out of the fridge, opened it with just a bit of fumbling despite still being able to use only one hand – and downed half of it within five seconds. "You know, you two will make me go grey prematurely", she sighed heavily. "But I'll take that if this is what makes you work together."
"We're not working together", Asuka objected insistently. "We made a truce. If you push us into another synchronous dance routine, there will be blood on the floor."
"Or a quiet assassination", Shinji added in a deadpan voice. "I think I have a nice recipe for a fugu-based sashimi. Or, if things go well, we could settle for another round of negotiations in the white room without door handles. If we survive the first fight, that is."
"Guys…" Misato's palm met her face and her voice turned even more pained. "Nobody's going to do that to you again unless that situation with twin Angels happens again. And so far, as you two are well-aware first-hand, no Angel has copied another in ability… not directly enough to recycle any of the plans. So… just…" she paused and downed the beer to the bottom. "Just don't drive me completely crazy, okay?"
Another eerily similar reaction – a confused glare followed by a nod and a small shrug – made Misato even more nervous. "All right", Asuka added – and passed an open book with a note to Shinji, who took a quick glance, adjusted the contraption from his bag, stamped the note, and passed it back. Asuka thought for a moment, adjusted her own, and stamped back; this time Misato caught what was on the stamp: THANKS IDIOT, confirming that indeed, Asuka's stamp was red. The fact that the note came back with NO PROBLEM GENIUS only made Misato shake her head.
She kept staring at them for a few moments and finally decided that this whole thing was not a hill she wanted to die on; this conclusion led her to pull yet another beer from the fridge, doctor's orders be damned. Having those two under her roof seemed to still be worth it – but something was telling her that calculating it again, this time with sanity cost, would be in order sooner or later.
...
"Consider cutting down on the number of notes?" note appeared next to Asuka later that evening as she was reading.
NO. she stamped across the text and dropped the note to the kitchen's tabletop next to Shinji.
OK. he added a moment later – and the note landed next to Asuka again.
CUT HATRED DOT.
YOU FIRST.
NO.
OK.
Misato tried to ignore that exchange, even as it happened in front of her – but something was telling her that the sound of the mechanical stamp was slowly becoming a PSTD trigger to her.
'I wonder when I'llfollow Ritsuko and need hospitalisation due to substance abuse, even if it's just alcohol… or a liver condition if the beer disagrees with the painkillers… ah, what gives. At least that would be some break from work!'
...
A few days and a grey hair or two later
"Okay, you're the living example of this rule, 'if something looks stupid but works, it isn't stupid'", Misato stated as she browsed the printout of the MAGI report. "Your scores have improved. They are still a far cry from what was before they started to fall, and I expect you to bring them back up there… but I think I can keep the Commander's wrath away from you."
"Lucky us", Asuka remarked bitterly. "The whippings have been cancelled then, I presume? Also, no continued beatings until the morale improves?"
"There's no reason for sarcasm, Asuka", Misato shot her a glare both annoyed and tired. "And I thought you would be happy to hear your score has gotten better."
"I am", she replied with a shrug, a hint of disdain present in her tone. "What did you expect me to do, smuggle fireworks and set them off here?"
Misato let out a heavy sigh and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Asuka–"
"I am happy with that, if this is important to you, Misato-san", Shinji interrupted. "It means we can carry on, right?"
"As long as your score keeps improving, yes", Misato replied, glad at the rescue. "I expect it to be back at previous levels in a few more tests, though. So… don't assume it's all fine and stop working on that."
"Don't worry, Misato", Asuka grinned. "I found a bigger version of that stamp in the company's catalogue. It has thirty-two characters!"
Shinji did not comment verbally – but his expression was clearly one of approval.
It stood in huge contrast to Misato's expression of disappointment, dismay, and outright terror. She shook it off quickly enough, though – and followed with an explanation of some technical details, quietly wishing for something to save her from this ordeal.
...
About ten minutes later
'Me and my big mouth' was Misato's main thought when "All personnel, battle stations, Level One" sounded across the corridors of the NERV Headquarters. "Prepare for ground-to-air intercept" followed as she already managed to order the kids back into their plugsuits and into their Units. Or at least, towards their Units, since – if she recalled correctly – only Unit-01 was in a state that made using it in combat a good idea. Still, it was unthinkable to deploy it alone, considering what happened last time when they were forced to fight without supporting each other. And so far, Angels have only been growing stronger.
She burst into the command centre, spared a surprised look towards Doctor Akagi, who was supposed to be still in her hospital bed instead of a command post, listened to the summary report, and started issuing orders. 'Let's hope your little feud won't get you killed, kids' rattled in her mind.