Creature,
I hope this letter has reached you before the first winter solstice. If it has not, it is because the messenger ships have changed their routes to avoid the ice in the sea. You should be well aware of this. Of course you do not consider how much this has increased the rate for correspondence.
I wonder where you are getting all of this money to continue to be a pest. Each letter must be close to twenty ounces of silver.
Be assured that I have no further business with your backwoods isle in the West called Berk. I choose to stay far away from a people who are so weak and naiive about the true nature of dragons, following after the whim of a clueless boy to their death. If you also wish to follow Hiccup, so be it. Do not say you were not warned.
I do not believe you are lying about eating such a thing. When you were my prisoner, it carried on your breath like a dead animal.
Do you believe lye grows from trees? We cannot take simple luxuries for granted as a crew. Once more, all purchases must be carefully measured when surviving on the sea. My men and I bathe when necessary, perhaps a few days apart. Meanwhile, natural remedies suffice to avoid infection.
All uniforms are cleaned routinely, and I have my punishments for the housekeepers not being on schedule, usually a pay reduction or dismissal. I rarely dismiss crew; it is too expensive to replace them.
To feed my men and servants, even I may some times skip a meal. However, clearly not as often as you. If a stick were a woman, you would be it.
Yes, I have a small number of servants. Most of the soldiers and hunters on this ship are under contract, so do not stay long. My servants prefer my methods and routes, and I do not treat them harshly. Every mercenary is not the same. They are paid well for their loyalty and for their protection of me.
My village is in the East, in the north where there is rarely a warm winter. My skin may look different than what you are used to in an archipelago closer to the equator. All of this nonsense you spout only tells me you have not seen much of the world outside of your yak-dung covered hills in the West. Have you considered going on a voyage of your own, or learning a trade language? Our world is becoming more connected by the day.
For what reason do you insist on writing to me, girl? At the very least, writing to you gives me a task to focus on when I cannot sleep, and soon after I am done, I wake up rested for the day. As for you, do you write out of boredom? For a thrill? Have your friends finally abandoned you? Before you answer, take time to think about it, but if you are not honest with yourself, I do not see the point in this exchange.
P.S: We will reach a trade post by the next morning. I shall buy you a comb and scissors for your hideous tangles, and a scour for the dandruff.