Okay, here goes. My name is Eugene Thorston The Third, but everyone calls me Ruffnut. My name means "noble". I'm too old to get married by anyone now, but too young to quit trying.
My brother is Tuffnut Laverne Thorston and he has a fiancee, but she's a neat freak and she really gets on my last nerve! Yesterday, she cleaned up my room behind my back, and I couldn't find anything! I avoid her, really. But I don't hate her. I just wonder how strong her genes are, so she won't have ugly babies. Oh, Tuffnut's real name is LaVerne Thorston the Second. But he hates it. (You'll see why in a second.)
My dad's name is also LaVerne, and my mom's name is Ingrid. Papa's name means "alder". If you don't have any Celtic roots (you're too boring to have any), the alder is a tree goblins used to carve from to make little creepy statues that would turn into children. It also represents balance between male and female, and the person being a protector. I don't know about the tree children stuff, but I think the name fits him. Not so much Tuffnut, he couldn't protect himself if his life depended on it.
My mom's name is a little more simple. Ingrid means "she who rides with the gods", and "beautiful". That has to be true, 'cause look how I came out! What does your name mean?
You know about Berk already, but I'll just say it's not what you think. We aren't just a backwoods island, or whatever you said. Take that back! :(
The land here can be really beautiful if ya ask me. Sometimes, when it's sunset, the sky gets orange, pink, purple and grey at the same time. It looks half-happy and half-sad, like the sun's all happy to go to sleep but sad 'cause it has to, right? I could stare at the sunset for hours. One time, I forgot to go home, and a yak was licking my face when I woke up! You're right, they poop a lot. But the hills aren't completely covered in poop. Yet.
When it's winter, the mountains get so white they sparkle! I love hunting with Papa in the peaks. The yaks sometimes know we're coming though and try to blend in with the snow, but Papa never misses 'em.
We have a gazillion festivals. The biggest one is Snoggletog, and that's just where friends and family get together and eat until they pass out, and give each other gifts. Aunt Freyja always gets me a new helmet. I have about twenty now, but the one from my first year at school still fits, so I always used it. One of the horns is split though, but it makes me look cool. Don't fix what ain't broken!
In Snoggletog, you can show up at anyone's house in the village and they'll let you in. I remember when Tuffnut and I were little we would eat maybe three meals a night going hut to hut. My favorite Snoggletog dish is jelly pie. I'm getting excited for Snoggletog, now. It's in a few days What do you do on Snoggletog?
I feel like I'm giving you too much information. What are you gonna do with it? I'm on to you.
P.S: Thank you for the combs and stuff. I hope you hate that I said that.
I thought you were just joking, but it's nice to get something in the mail for once that I can use. The perfume isn't green! It's purple in the bottle, or am I seeing things? It does smell nice, havta admit. Papa sniffed me today and asked if I had finally started seeing a boy he didn't know about. He can be silly sometimes. What kind of perfume do you wear?