Aurora gave herself time before heading back up the stairs; she didn't know how much more she could take, but she knew that she needed to see this through. This time when she knocked at Suzaku's door, balancing the tray with ease, he responded.
"Come in."
She pushed the door open with her shoulder at the invitation, dredging up a bright smile from a place she didn't really feel as she set the tray on the armoire next to her book and glasses.
"Hungry?" she asked lightly. She glanced over her shoulder in time to see his frown.
"Not really."
"You always say that," Aurora chided gently as she turned with a sandwich on a plate. "But try to get something down. I didn't know what you liked, so it's pretty standard."
He took the plate with the ham sandwich from her and immediately set it next to his hip on the bed. Feeling the sinking sensation she usually got before she was about to be outmaneuvered, Aurora swung back around, fussing with her tea. Despite her admonishment to Suzaku, she hadn't managed to force herself to eat anything. When Suzaku spoke, however, her shoulders tightened, and she slowly traced her fingers along the edge of the tray.
"Before we go any further, you have to tell me who you are."
Rolling her lips together, Aurora didn't turn around.
"That wasn't our agreement," she reminded him quietly. He snorted derisively.
"I'm a traitor. Haven't you heard? You can hardly expect me to honor an agreement when I can't even honor my country."
Sighing through her nose at the intense bitterness in his tone, Aurora turned around, leaning against the armoire with her cup of tea in one hand as she eyed him.
"You're not a traitor," she said simply. He raised his brows as he glared at her.
"There are thousands, if not millions, who would disagree with you."
Aurora just shrugged as she sat down in her rocking chair.
"I'm not one of them, and I don't care about them. I care about you, and I say that you're not a traitor. A tragically confused, grieving, angry young man that had no business getting in as deep as you did. But traitor? A traitor is a coward, and you, Suzaku Kururugi, are no coward."
As he blinked at her in shock, Aurora sipped her tea before continuing.
"Why do you want to know now?"
Suzaku was able to recover himself, at least a little from the shock of her simple faith in him.
"I'm concerned about why you need this information. It's sensitive, and could be dangerous in the wrong hands."
She had to bite back her grin at the irony.
"You think I'm a spy?"
His eyes narrowed at her thinly disguised mirth while she sat down in her chair.
"I don't trust you." The snapping words cut deeper than he most likely intended, but Aurora controlled her face to mask the hurt nonetheless. "Either tell me the truth, or learn to live without it."
"Uncalled for, but fair enough," she conceded shortly. Taking another sip of her tea as she gathered her thoughts, shoving the sting of his words away for now, she made eye contact with Ban briefly. Sensitive to the moods, he took to his feet, nudging his head under her hand as she set the rocker into motion.
"My name is Aurora Sterling, but I was born Aurora ri Britannia. I'm the…" Her eyes went up as she counted, occasionally tapping her fingers against the armrest as she marked the tens. Math had never been her strong point. "Twenty fifth princess of the Britannian Empire and one hundred and seventh in line for the throne. Of course, considering all that's happened, I doubt my numbers are still the same. I'm too far out of the game to care, though. And over a hundred people would have to die for me to ever take the throne." Still rubbing Ban's head and neck, Aurora glanced over at Suzaku, who had paled at the first sentence, his green eyes burning into hers.
"I'm the unfortunate product of Charles' relations with an English maid, most likely without her consent, though my mother never admitted it. He told Marianne it was because she had been pregnant at the time with Lelouch. A man has needs, after all. Britannian pig." The last was spat out with heavy sarcasm and disdain, her starry day eyes narrowing dangerously as she glared into the middle distance. Aurora recovered herself, however, and quickly smoothed her face into brisk, controlled lines.
"Once I was born, my mother was transferred to Marianne's household and I went along. Charles thought she would be one of his more understanding consorts, and he didn't have many daughters, so he liked to keep them around in case he wanted to marry them off. And then he forgot about me. I grew up with Lelouch and Nunnally and the other royal children of that age group. Then, when I was eight, my mother and uncle, who worked as a gardener at the estate, started hearing rumors that Charles was about to enact one of his purges."
At the questioning look on Suzaku's face, she elaborated.
"It should be painfully apparent that Charles was something of a degenerate, and a shameless breeder. I was hardly his only bastard; he often had reams of them running around Britannia. Finally, when the numbers would get too great, he'd get rid of them. The more mild-mannered ones would be assigned to a post within his cabinet, low enough not to cause any trouble but high enough for him to keep an eye on them. Others he exiled; the rest he killed. I didn't have the lineage to warrant a position, or the behavior. So my mother and her brother planned to spirit me away. But my mother died before they could go forward with the plan; she'd always been frail. My uncle was frantic. That was when Marianne was killed." Aurora rolled her shoulders as she reluctantly stumbled back down the road of her fraught youth.
"He took advantage of the chaos and, working with the man they had contracted to make me disappear, shuffled me off the estate in the middle of the night while everyone was screaming and crying after the assassination. He lied and identified one of the maids, a young orphan who had lost her face to the machine gun fire, as me, and Aurora ri Britannia died. Meanwhile, I went to live with George Hampden, the man who had arranged my fake death." She remembered him with a sad sort of fondness that reflected in her voice.
"George was a fixer. He was a dealer in information and secrets. He knew all the ins and outs of the system, and countless people throughout the empire owed him. He initially planned to place me with a family in Brazil. But then, the plans fell through, and, I don't know. I guess I must have appealed to him, because instead of shipping me off to some other trustworthy debtor, he took me on as an apprentice. He was the closest thing to a father I ever had," she murmured to herself, almost as an afterthought. Jerking herself free of the memories, she smiled at Suzaku before returning to her tale.
"He taught me everything I knew, and we were full partners before I was a teenager. But then that silly old grizzly bear went and died on me. Deal gone bad. It happened from time to time, even if you were careful. One tiny mistake cost him his life. I was thirteen." Aurora sighed as she toyed with the handle of her mug.
"I was on my own. So I took what he taught me and struck out as a solitary fixer. I hit puberty early, which helped when dealing with dukes and executives who were inclined to dismiss me as a child. By the time I was fifteen, I was the go-to girl in the underworld. Did some of my best work in those years. Then I got cocky." Tugging once on Ban's ear, she pointed at the rug. Gazing at her, then Suzaku, pleadingly, Ban gave up and circled on the rug before settling down with a reluctant grunt.
"Thought I was untouchable, and I could go after an invincible target. Got in pretty deep with some pretty ugly people. When I got the information I needed, I succeeded in doing nothing but painting a giant target on my back. So I was left with two choices: stay and die, or disappear and live. I decided that sixteen was too young to die, and pulled up my stakes. The fixer known as Rory Seven up and vanished, leaving behind no information and the vaguest possibility that she might return. Just in case anyone wanted to try and do business under my name." She shook her head; the reputation of Rory Seven had been pretty tantalizing, and her pride had pushed her to debunk the imposters she'd caught despite her firm retirement.
"So I left Britannia one last time and ran to England. I had been there ever since until I came here with you. That's who I am," she stated with a cool finality as she set her mug aside. "And that's why I need to know. I need to know why my brother had to die, Suzaku. I need to know who killed him, and what purpose his death served. I think that's a fair request."
He was silent for a moment, his eyes wide and unblinking.
"You're a princess?"
Aurora couldn't hide the smile that bloomed at his blank amazement.
"Technically, I suppose. I hardly qualify for it in any aspect except blood, though. Although, strictly speaking, I have as much noble blood as Lelouch and Nunnally do. Did," she corrected herself quietly as she stilled her rocking. "However, our mothers weren't exactly equal." Aurora held out her hands, palm up.
"Renowned Britannian Knightmare pilot and member of the Round." She wiggled her right hand.
"English maid who had a child out of wedlock." She wiggled her left hand, then tipped her right higher. "Strictly speaking, they were both commoners, but my mother didn't have a thimbleful of Marianne's clout. Hence my general lack of importance among the royal family." Her mouth crooking a little at her own insignificance, Aurora set the rocker going again.
"You never had any ambitions for the throne?"
Aurora couldn't help it; she laughed.
"Not only was it ridiculously unlikely, but I had no desire to take the crown. It would have been a fiasco, and I would have ended up dead or de-throned." She brushed a few wisps of hair out of her eyes as she chuckled.
"You're surprisingly mellow for a Britannian," he murmured, clearing his throat in regret once he said the words. Aurora hummed, trying to keep her laugh to a minimum.
"I'm only half Britannian, remember? And I've had my fair share of drama and intrigue; I don't need to invent any for a promotion that is astronomically unlikely."
A smile twitched at Suzaku's lips before he was able to control it. He looked down for a moment, seriousness stealing over his face. When he looked back up, he was somber and a little sad.
"I'm inclined to disbelieve you, but…" His hand fisted as he looked away, then back again. "You have their eyes. The Britannian royal eyes."
Aurora inhaled deeply as she ground her jaw against the tears.
"I do," she said simply, holding Suzaku's gaze. He swallowed, and broke the contact.
"You've been more than patient."
She shrugged.
"It's the least you deserve."
"You won't think that after what I tell you," he assured her with a solemn certainty. She merely tipped her head, a tiny smile playing over her mouth.
"What makes you think you know my mind? I've already surprised you today. I'll bet you a great deal of money that I'll do it again."
"You sound like him. Lelouch. Knowing one's own mind, and that confidence that you wear like a cloak."
Aurora's face went soft at the memories.
"I may have his confidence, but I lack his patience and strategy. He used to complain that I could never sit still, and he mercilessly destroyed me at chess every time he managed to convince me to play. I have a tell, and I'm too adaptable to build a strategy from the start. By the time it forms, it would be too late. Especially with him." The smile faded, however, and her eyes darkened.
"Suzaku, can you promise me something?"
At his cautious nod, she drew in a deep breath.
"You promise to tell me the end of the story? You swear that you'll tell me why Lelouch died?"
He nodded again, but Aurora pushed.
"You swear?"
"I do," he said seriously, and Aurora knew he meant it.
"Then tell me why. Why did Euphemia do those horrible things?"
He swallowed heavily before saying a single word.
"Geass."
"Geass?" Aurora repeated, her brow furrowing at the unfamiliar word. Suzaku nodded, and told her what Lelouch had confirmed as his uncle's truth. How a witch had granted Lelouch his deepest wish in exchange for granting hers. How he was given the power of a king, and sought to rend the world asunder and rebuild it anew. He told her the parameters of the power, and how it had aided him both as Zero and as Emperor. How the command given to Suzaku was done in fear, and the command given to Euphemia was done unintentionally.
"He lost control?"
Suzaku had only a moment to be surprised that she absorbed the information so easily. Her mind was flexible and instinctive; Aurora knew the truth when she heard it.
"Yes. He used special contacts to block it until he needed it after that."
"And the orders given to you and Euphemia?"
Suzaku blinked. She'd known so much, he'd assumed that Aurora would know this as well. Considering how hard he was struggling to keep his focus and discipline with his thoughts tumbling through his head like dice in a cup, it should come as no surprise that he was faltering. But he had to see this through to the end. He'd given her his word.
"He gave me my order on Shikine Island, right before the Hadron Cannon fired. He told me to live."
Aurora felt her heart lurch; the sheer injustice of it.
"No," she whispered without control. Suzaku looked confused. "It's just… That's so opposed to your personality and instincts. It must have been torture."
His crooked smile was incredibly bitter.
"It still is. There's no expiration to the command, not even the commander's death. It will haunt me the rest of my days, and forces to me to live a life without her." He spoke so quietly, and Aurora didn't need to ask of who he meant. Suddenly, the mire of guilt and anger and pain that she had known he was struggling against grew exponentially. Her heart bled for him, bled for the boy he'd been and the broken man who lay before her.
"And Euphie?" She hardly dared ask, but the footage… She hadn't been able to watch it to its end. She'd bolted outside to vomit into an alley, terrifying Kendra and Chandler at her sudden hopelessness and anger that had lasted upwards of a week. What had happened to Euphie?
"Lelouch told me later that it was an accident. The first time his Geass went out of control. He was trying to explain the power to her when he mentioned killing all the Japanese. He thought that such an outlandish statement would help her understand. He didn't know that it had become a Geass command."
She nodded, feeling a heavy weight drop from her heart. So Euphemia hadn't changed. Through magic and an accident, like a boy playing with his father's gun, she'd been killed. It hurt that her honor had died with her, but at least Aurora knew now. She could hold the memories of Euphie without feeling the burn of betrayal and question. She'd been sweet little Euphie to the very end.
Aurora pressed her fingers to her eyes, laughing shakily at her inability to stem the tears that slipped down her cheeks.
"Aurora?"
She looked up to see concern on Suzaku's face. As she pointlessly wiped away the tears, she waved his worry away.
"I'm fine, Suzaku. I'm just so relieved. I'd… Euphemia had been one of my favorites, and what happened, well… It didn't seem real, but what other options could there have been? Thank you, for giving me my sister back." As she sniffed and shuddered, Suzaku held out a hand. She took it in hers, and for a moment, the two of them were connected by more than just touch. They released each other's hand at the same time, for different reasons. Suzaku, with guilt and discomfort. Aurora, with sadness and heartbreak. She took a deep breath, straightening in the rocker as she sent it moving again.
"So what did you do? After you found out Lelouch was Zero?"
This chapter had grown into something of a monstrosity, so I decided to split it. The second season recap will be finished with the next chapter. Since I'm already over halfway through it, that one should be up in the next week or so.
So now you all know. Aurora is a princess. Kind of. It was an element that persisted since her first inception, and I'm super psyched that I finally get to reveal it. A lot of other aspects of her character had changed from when I first thought of the idea to when I posted BBGE to when I watched CG all the way through to when I rebooted the story to its current state of Phoenix, but that stayed the same.
I have a feeling that some of you are bored with this re-tramping of familiar ground. That might explain the lack of attention to the recent chapters, or why the shortest chapter of this story has received the most reviews. But I'm standing by my view of it being necessary. It's finished with the next chapter; from there on out, it's all current story line stuff. As much as a character like Suzaku can be, while so trapped by his past.
I can now reveal something I've done with this story that has tickled me endlessly. All the chapters prior to this one - chapters where heroin was physically present in Suzaku - are all named after street names of heroin that dovetail with some aspect of that chapter. I didn't think I'd be able to keep it up this long, but I can't anymore. However, it is one of those things that make writing truly fun. If you are curious what they all mean, let me know, and I'll post the list on my profile.
I've checked about ten books from the library so my depiction of his recovery from addiction can be as accurate and sensitive as possible. The idea of me doing this level of research during my brief stint in college was laughable. Just goes to show the power of motivation. I guess I should say now that if I insult anyone with my handling of Suzaku's use of heroin, I'm terribly sorry. That never has been, nor will ever be, my intention.
This story has reminded me why I love writing so much. It's such a relief, knowing I still have this pure love. Once I finish Phoenix, I believe that can transfer to my novel. Grief has a way of derailing your life. Suzaku and Aurora have learned that brutally; guess I had to, too.
Hope you like it!
Love, Tango