Where was she?
Anna didn't recognize her surroundings.
She found herself barefoot on a rocky beach, facing a giant structure made out of ice. But it wasn't her sister's ice palace. Anna turned around. She was on an island of some kind. The water surrounding aforementioned island was frozen solid.
Belatedly, Anna realized she must be dreaming.
Why? She didn't feel the cold.
She didn't even feel pain from the sensation of tiny pebbles digging into the soles of her feet. At first, Anna didn't want to enter the structure. But something was drawing her inside, nevertheless. Despite herself, Anna could feel her feet moving, propelling her forward.
She gave a start.
Was this...Ahtohallan?
Anna remembered Elsa's descriptions of this mysterious island. She continued walking, even though she didn't know where she was going. But it was like she instinctively knew her destination. Anna still found it unnerving that she wasn't shivering from the cold.
Come on, she was walking down a corridor surrounded by icy walls!
Eventually, she reached the end of the cave.
Rather than the pillars of ice that Elsa initially created, Anna found herself facing a set of stairs that led downwards. Visibly bracing herself, Anna descended the stairs.
What would she find when she reached the end?
When Anna reached the bottom, she heard a strange voice.
"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah..."
"Mother?"
Feeling her heart start to pound, Anna raced to the entrance of a cave that she could see straight ahead. Was this the voice that haunted Elsa before she felt drawn to the Enchanted Forest? Was her mother reaching out to her at last?
Anna felt dread and anticipation at the same time.
Soon, Anna found herself in a large chamber.
At first, she felt great disappointment. Other than giant icy pillars and matching walls, there was nothing else present. There was no sign of Mother or her sister.
Just as Anna was about to turn and leave, she saw a small burst of light.
Feeling mesmerized, Anna watched as the small ball of light began to grow.
Instinctively, she raised her hands to shield her vision. The ball of light grew bigger and brighter, until it seemed to envelop the chamber. When the light died down, Anna lowered her hands. Her eyes widened in disbelief despite herself.
She found herself facing the spirit of...
"Mother."
"Anna." Iduna gave her second daughter a warm, loving smile.
At first, Anna felt giddy elation and began to smile tentatively.
Her mother took the time to reach out to her!
It felt so good to see her after all this time. Six years, she thought. It's been six, long years since she even heard her mother's voice. The last time Anna had seen her, they exchanged hugs. "See you in two weeks." Anna remembered giggling. Her parents' mysterious expedition was only supposed to take two weeks.
The same expedition they refused to tell her about.
The same expedition that claimed their lives.
The same expedition that turned out to be a futile search in a bid to help Elsa.
Anna felt her smile fading.
Unwanted memories returned to the forefront of her mind.
Almost as if to taunt her, the icy walls of Ahtohallan began to display her memories. Bringing the old pain and anguish rushing back. Iduna gasped in horror at what she was seeing. This wasn't supposed to happen! But Anna couldn't stop the flood.
It felt like the same flood that nearly destroyed Arendelle after the dam was destroyed by the earth giants.
Little Anna was giggling as she ran through the halls of the palace.
Today was her sixth birthday!
The servants she passed already wished the little princess a happy birthday. Anna couldn't help how giddy she felt. She couldn't wait to see what Mama and Papa got her.
But she only had one birthday wish this year.
She wanted Elsa to come out and play with her.
Anna still didn't know why her sister refused to leave her chambers. Or why she would tell her to go away. They always played so well together. Anna remembered laughing and having fun with her sister when they went ice skating or built snowmen together.
Her favorite was the one they named Olaf.
He was so warm and cuddly and loved warm hugs.
Anna could feel the usual tears threatening to overwhelm her. Ruthlessly, she suppressed the urge to cry. Surely Elsa wouldn't be able to refuse Anna her request.
Today was her birthday.
It was a special day.
When she reached the main hall, Anna froze. Her parents weren't waiting for her at the long dining room table. There was no birthday feast. No balloons. No streamers. No presents. Anna felt confused. Her brow furrowed. Then her eyes lit up.
Maybe her parents were setting up a surprise party!
Giggling, Anna searched the other rooms of the palace.
The ballroom was a dead end. It was dark, empty and the only thing it collected was dust. Anna searched a room at random. Her parents would sometimes use this room to entertain foreign dignitaries. But that was before her father put the palace on lockdown for reasons unknown. Reasons Mama and Papa refused to share with her.
Anna searched everywhere.
But there weren't any signs of a party.
Determinedly, Anna pushed her feelings of hurt and confusion aside. Today was her birthday and she vowed that nothing would ruin it. There was still a way to salvage things.
First, Anna knocked on her sister's door.
She waited, but there was no answer.
"Elsa?" Anna knocked again. "Let's go play outside. Please, it's my-"
"Go away, Anna." Elsa cut in sharply before she could finish.
"But." Anna tried.
"Now!" Elsa snapped.
Anna choked on a sob and ran to her parents' room. She knocked on their door and waited expectantly. Mama opened the door. There was a look of annoyance on her face as she glared at her daughter. There wasn't any sign that she remembered what day it was.
"What is it, Anna?" Iduna asked. "We're busy."
"Mama, could we do something?" Anna asked hopefully. "It's my-"
"No." Iduna said. She made a shooing motion at her daughter. "Now go away. Your father and I are in the middle of something important." Then she closed the door before Anna could protest.
Iduna winced.
She remembered that day, all right.
It wasn't like they meant to forget Anna's birthday. They weren't cold and cruel ogres...at least, Iduna didn't think she and Agnarr were. But Anna-admittedly, through no fault of her own-interrupted the royal couple when they were researching methods to help Elsa control her burgeoning powers.
The gloves weren't working as well as they have hoped.
They were going through books and running ideas back and forth when Anna knocked.
Iduna winced again. One of her worst traits was that she tended to get annoyed and impatient whenever she was interrupted. The guilty party would find themselves on the receiving end of her sharp tongue. Anna would receive the brunt of her tongue lashings.
Iduna had to keep reminding herself it wasn't Anna's fault.
She didn't know about their research or the reasons for the palace lockdown.
She had her memories removed of her sister's magic. Both mother and daughter watched as the younger version of Anna walked dejectedly away from the door, wiping impatiently at her tears as her tender little heart broken into a million pieces.
More unwanted images appeared.
This time, Anna was ten years old.
Anna was bundled up as warmly as she could. Part of her face was obscured due to her emerald-green scarf as she pretended to pour some tea into a small pink cup.
"Thank you for the tea, Anna." She mimicked her mother's voice as best she could.
"You're welcome, Mama." Anna chirped with false cheer. Then she turned to the snowy version of her father. She was so lonely, she made snowy, sloppy versions of her family around a tree stump.
"Would you like some tea, Papa?" Anna asked.
"Yes, please." She lowered her voice, making it as gruff as possible.
Anna poured more imaginary tea for her "father". Then she poured some tea for her "sister". Every so often, she would gaze in the direction of the palace. Mama and Papa were busy entertaining an ambassador from Spain. Elsa was still locked in her chambers.
Anna tried to attend the dinner.
But her parents insisted she was too young.
Choking on a sob, Anna pasted a smile on her face and continued her tea party for her imaginary family.
Iduna flinched.
If she were alive, no doubt she would feel the urge to vomit.
How could they have been so blind? No wonder Anna turned to books, portraits and imaginary versions of her family for companionship. If she and Agnarr weren't ruling Arendelle, they were busy trying to help Elsa with her powers.
It was a vicious cycle.
It wasn't like they meant to neglect Anna.
But they simply had no time for her.
Still, Iduna knew this was no excuse. Spending five minutes with their second child should not have been a hardship. But they certainly acted like it was.
Anna was treated like a burden.
Rather than an actual member of the family.
These were only some of the images, some of the memories that came from Anna's nonexistent childhood. By this time, Anna's smile faded completely. Her face could have been carved from marble for all the emotion it showed.
"Why are you here, Mother?" Even her voice sounded icier than the walls around them.
Ouch.
"I am so sorry, Anna." Iduna said.
"You're sorry?" Anna echoed. "You think a paltry apology will make up for what you've done to me? To Elsa?"
"We never meant to hurt you." Iduna said.
"Glad to know it was an accident." Anna said sarcastically. "I shudder to think how much damage you two could have inflicted if you actually made an effort."
"Anna, please." Iduna begged.
"No, you need to listen." Anna hissed. "I'm not an idiot. I know you two were busy, trying to help Elsa with her powers. But you both failed to remember that MY memories were removed of her abilities. All I wanted was a few minutes of your time. But you couldn't be bothered to give me the time of day."
"Anna, I'm not trying to excuse what we've done." Iduna said. "I'm trying to explain it. I know it's been hard for you. But please try and understand our point of view."
"That's what I've been doing my whole life." Anna said.
"What?" Iduna didn't understand.
"I have been putting others first my entire life." Anna said. "For the sake of other people, I would suppress my emotions and try not to make them feel bad. I've never truly expressed myself and that was only to my detriment. I am so sick and tired of trying to be selfless, to see another person's point of view and conveniently ignore the damage they are doing to me."
"Anna." Iduna tried.
"You hurt me, can't you see that?" Anna demanded. "You hurt Elsa, too. You didn't protest when Father enacted his stupid plan to keep us isolated. To keep Elsa imprisoned in her own room. For reasons I didn't understand until only a few years ago, Elsa was pushing me away out of fear of hurting me further. But I didn't know that. All I knew was that my own sister wanted nothing to do with me. My own parents were just as bad. I always felt like an inconvenience for you. Did you two even love me at all?"
"Of course we did!" Iduna was appalled. How could her daughter think otherwise?
"You have a funny way of showing it." Anna said bitterly.
"What do you mean by that?" Iduna reeled back as if she'd been slapped.
"How could you even ask?" Anna demanded.
"Anna-" Iduna began.
"Mother, I've been suppressing my pain and anger for sixteen years!" Anna exclaimed. "You and Father refused to spend any time with me. Elsa kept slamming doors in my face and the few servants we had left ignored me in favor of their duties. Then I had to bury you two alone after you died. Elsa refused to leave her chambers despite my pleas. Then, after she accidentally put Arendelle in an eternal winter, I had to get her back to undo the damage. She was only here for three years before she heard YOUR call to lure her to the Enchanted Forest to become the Fifth Spirit. As if that wasn't bad enough, I spent those three years putting Elsa first. To encourage her when she faltered. Trying not to feel hurt when she didn't register MY pain, my feelings. I became reduced to being Elsa's emotional rock. In a nutshell, I either spent my life trying to build up Elsa and support her, or being ignored and spending time with portraits and books in a desperate attempt to alleviate my loneliness."
Iduna winced.
There was little she could say to that.
"As if you were determined to make things WORSE, you only reached out to Elsa." Anna said. "You couldn't be bothered to send your OTHER daughter some sign of your presence." Iduna glanced down in shame. "Elsa also showed me your last moments alive. Tell me the truth, was there ever a time in its smallest measurement that either of you thought about me at all during your so-called expedition?"
"No." Iduna admitted after a lengthy silence.
"I thought so." Anna said bitterly as she turned to leave.
"Wait!" Iduna held out a beseeching hand.
"What?" Anna spat, turning back sideways to face her mother.
"Anna, please." Iduna begged. "I know that Agnarr and I were not good parents to you. But I am here now. Please, let me help fix things between you and Elsa."
Anna didn't say anything for a few moments.
She didn't know what she should say or do.
Should she agree?
Or should she walk away and never come back?