Heavy Snow

by welfycat

Book 8. Following the war, Rachel and Severus must navigate the world outside of Hogwarts. Adulthood comes with a series of unique challenges for Rachel, including the Wizengamot, the aurors, and living away from home.

3. Choices

"Ready for this?" Tonks asked when Rachel came into Sirius' kitchen.

Rachel wasn't sure the answer to that question was yes, but she nodded anyway. "Do you think people will recognize me?" She almost hadn't recognized Tonks with her natural hair color.

"Unfortunately the answer to that question is probably yes, but we're going through the auror office floos instead of the main floo. Madam Bones approved it, she didn't want you being mobbed in the entrance of the Ministry. Just stay by my side and I will keep people away from you," Tonks said.

"Thank you." She appreciated that more than she could put into words.

"Once you're set up in the Wizengamot, you'll be using their floo. They don't like to have the Wizengamot members go through the main entrance for the most part and especially not while security is still high. And you are very high on the list of people that the MLE wants to keep safe."

"How safe will being on the Wizengamot really be?"

Tonks shrugged. "If you'd asked me that a month ago, I'd have said not safe at all. Now it's a little more difficult to tell. We're not entirely sure how much the remaining Death Eaters are going to target the Wizengamot. And unfortunately we don't have enough people to protect the candidates either, so right now we're suggesting really good wards and to run at the first sign of danger."

"There's hardly anyone left, is there?" Rachel asked.

Tonks' expression went tight. "We have eighteen aurors, including the kids in the training program and the Head Auror. The MLE Patrol is down to thirty one members, when we had a hundred and twenty before. And we have six hit wizards left. And that's all of us. If any of your friends were considering a job in the aurors or the MLE, now would be the time. All of you have enough training that you could easily join the special team the aurors are putting together to hunt the remaining Death Eaters. We need an on call team to respond to attacks and we just don't have the people right now. The Order is doing some of it, but the MLE needs to be the one responding."

Rachel swallowed as she realized her instincts were right after all. The war wasn't over. The threat was still there. Her job wasn't done.

"Anyway, the Wizengamot itself will be protected. Everyone has good wards, you have good wards, and admission to Wizengamot meetings and to the Wizengamot chambers will be tightly controlled. It's like Scrimgeour keeps saying, we will rebuild. And we need to go if we're going to make your appointments."

"Do you know what they're going to do to me?" Rachel asked, wishing she'd thought to ask that of Professor McGonagall when she'd seen her.

"They're not going to do anything to you. They'll take a picture of you in your human form, for their records, and some pictures of you in your animal form, and they write down notes about what the features of your animal form are so you can be identified. That's it. I can be there in the office if you want me to be. Pretty much it was decided that while I'm on Girl-Who-Lived duty, I'm allowed wherever you are, even in the Minister's office," Tonks explained.

Rachel nodded. "I'd rather you stayed with me. I don't know this person."

"And everyone in the Ministry knows they're supposed to be respectful of you. It won't stop everyone, but most people should act as if you're just another important person walking through."

"What about reporters?" Rachel asked.

"Reporters are only allowed on the MLE level and in the Wizengamot chambers by invitation. Don't worry about that, I will keep Skeeter away from you," Tonks promised.

"Thank you." Rachel wasn't sure what exactly she'd say or do if she encountered Rita Skeeter again, but she knew it wouldn't be good. Weirdly, even after everything, if she had to pick someone she hated, it wasn't her relatives or the Dark Lord, it was Rita Skeeter. She'd only met the women twice in passing, but she made Rachel's blood boil.

"Alright. Ready?" Tonks asked.

"Ready." This time she actually felt a little more ready.

"I'll go through first, but it should be clear. Follow me in about twenty seconds," Tonks said, going to the fireplace and throwing in the floo powder. "Ministry. Aurors offices."

Rachel waited, checked that her wand was in the pocket of her robes, and then followed Tonks through. She stepped out into a room that had a large fireplace, a desk, and an auror sitting at the desk in the same MLE blue robes as Tonks.

"Williamson, this is Rachel. Rachel, that's Auror Williamson, he's dispatching the on-call team at the moment, but you'll see him on Wizengamot duty sometimes," Tonks said.

"An honor to meet you, Miss Snow," Williamson said, bobbing his head.

"You too," Rachel said.

"We're going through the auror offices, through the MLE patrol, and then down to the Improper Use of Magic office. Hit wizards have their own space and their own floo," Tonks said as she led the way past a few doors and out into an area with a grouping of desks.

There were a few more people there, some of them in the deep blue robes, some of them in more casual wear. There were more doors and hallways and Rachel followed Tonks into a much larger room with desks, though it seemed though there was not a larger number of people. She supposed there really wasn't much of the MLE patrol left to occupy the space. They continued down another hall.

"Arthur Weasley and Perkins are down there, with Misuse of Muggle Artifacts. Here's where Improper Use monitors the trace on underage witches and wizards, I'm sure you're glad that doesn't apply to you anymore."

"Very," Rachel agreed.

"Further down we've got the more mundane aspects of Improper Use, which also watches for instances of muggles being made aware of magic, though they coordinate with the Obliviators on level three in Accidents and Catastrophes. And if we go in here, we've got Helen Marshall, who oversees Improper Use and will be doing your animagus registration," Tonks said, coming to a stop at an office door.

"Why is becoming an animagus considered an improper use of magic if we're allowed to do it?" Rachel asked.

Tonks shrugged. "They don't really like people becoming animaguses. It's pretty heavily discouraged, actually. Depending on what your form is, it can be a huge advantage and can make being a criminal a fair bit easier. I suspect if the process to become an animagus wasn't so difficult it would be far more regulated than it already is. Ready to show off your form? I keep trying to guess what you are, but I have no idea."

"I'm not a doe, I'll tell you that much. But I'm ready."

Tonks knocked on the door and it opened a few moments later.

An older woman looked out at them. "Auror Tonks, good to see you. And Miss Rachel Snow. It's an honor. My name is Helen Marshall, but please call me Helen."

"It's nice to meet you too," Rachel said, wondering if this was going to be a thing now, where people considered it an honor to meet her. She hoped not.

"Please come in. Would you like tea?" Helen asked.

"No, thank you," Rachel said, coming into her office and glancing back as Helen tried to shut the door on Tonks. "I'd like Auror Tonks with me, please."

Helen looked startled and then confused but nodded. "Yes, of course. If that's what you'd like. I want you to be comfortable. Please take a seat and we'll fill out the necessary paperwork and then I'll take a few photographs. I'm afraid I cannot promise you that these will stay out of the press as the Animagus Registry is public record."

"I understand," Rachel said. She sat down, though Tonks remained standing near the door.

"Now, let's see. How long have you been an animagus, Miss Snow? May I call you Rachel? Or do you prefer Miss Snow?"

"Rachel is fine. Do you mean how long since I first attained my form?" she checked.

"Yes, exactly. We're aware the training process isn't complete at that point, but we go from the date you first were able to change by will, rather than by potion," Helen explained.

Rachel tried to remember the exact date, but couldn't. Um about a month and a half before I took my NEWTs, so two months ago, I suppose."

"Alright, we'll put May of this year. How tall are you in your human form?"

"About a hundred and fifty two centimeters."

"Good. Weight? Human form, again."

"I'm not sure. My healer said I'm at a healthy weight for my height."

Helen looked Rachel up and down. "You're a bit on the slim side, so we'll say about seven stone. We've got full name here, and your birthday, of course. Light skin. Reddish brown hair. Hazel eyes. Glasses," she said, her quill already moving. "Now if you'll come stand in front of this wall here, I'm going to take your picture facing forward and then from the side."

Rachel did as she was told, feeling a bit like she was a criminal.

"Now then, I'm going to measure your animal form and take some pictures of that as well. How small is your form?" Helen asked when the photos were taken.

"Pretty small."

"Can you make it from the floor to the table in your form?"

"Probably not," Rachel said. Not without sticking her claws in something at least.

"Come take a seat on the table then and we'll have you transform up here," Helen said, moving away.

Feeling awkward, Rachel boosted herself up so she was sitting on the table and reached for her animal form. A moment later the world was shrinking, her skin was prickling as she grew fur, and her body was feeling odd as it rearranged itself for four legged locomotion. She smelt fish, which was very odd under the circumstances. At least she wasn't smelling mice, she supposed.

"Very nice. Very nice. Not a common tabby, no not at all. Let's see," Helen said. "I'm just going to hold this ruler up to get your size, then I'll take pictures and we'll be done. Stand straight, tail up."

Rachel tried to focus on her tail, but it really did seem to have a mind all of its own. Arching her back seemed to help her stick it up a bit. There was a flash as a photo was taken.

"Good. Now as small as you can make yourself."

Rachel curled up into a ball and tucked her tail tight against her paws and her nose. Another flash.

"Very good, come back to us now."

Rachel sat and focused on her human form and a moment later she was sitting on the desk again with her legs bunched up. She hopped off the desk and smoothed her robes and then her hair. Tonks had an amused expression, though she quickly straightened it when Helen glanced her way.

"Now, do you know what species you are exactly?" Helen asked, continuing down her form.

"Rusty-spotted cat. Indigenous to India," Rachel said. "Not a kitten, that's the adult form."

"It would be quite odd indeed for you to have a juvenile form at your age," Helen agreed. "If I could just have you read this form and make sure everything is correct, then you can sign it and you'll be finished. I will warn you now, this is a legally binding document and that is a blood quill."

Rachel looked at Tonks. "Is it okay to use blood for something like this?"

Tonks nodded. "Standard procedure for this sort of identification documents."

"The document itself will be kept with our other warded identity documents, only the information on it will be placed in the registry," Helen explained.

Rachel double checked that all of the information looked right and found it a little disturbing that Helen had known Rachel's middle name without having to ask. She signed, ignoring the stinging in her hand, though she did check to make sure it had healed cleanly. "That's everything I need to do?"

"Yes, you are now registered. I know I don't have to tell you not to misuse your form and to be careful with who sees it. It's not immediately evident that you are not a common house cat, but you should try not to be seen by muggles regardless. We give everyone registering this pamphlet which has the guidelines for animagus behavior in it. Be sure to memorize them," Helen said, passing her a small book.

"Thank you, I will," Rachel said, wondering what Sirius would think about guidelines for how he should behave as a dog. She strongly suspected that he had either never read the guidelines or that he had mocked them mercilessly.

"No, thank you, Miss Snow." Helen stepped forward and took Rachel's hand. "Thank you. For what you did for all of us."

Rachel nodded and wanted to pull her hand away but she wasn't sure what to do.

Finally Helen stepped back. "If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"If you'll excuse us, Madam Marshall. We have an appointment with Madam Bones," Tonks said.

"Of course. Yes, of course. You must have many things to do. Please keep me in mind," Helen said, retreating to her desk.

"Thank you, I will," Rachel said again, hurrying to follow Tonks out of the office and pulling the door closed behind them.

They made it halfway down the hall before Tonks started laughing so hard that she stopped walking and leaned against the wall. "That was so funny," Tonks managed to say, putting her hand over her mouth.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Madam Marshall. I have never seen her like that before. She offered you tea. She was practically fawning over you," Tonks said, slowly containing her laughter. "I wish you could have met her before this, because this is hilarious. When I tell the others they won't even believe me."

Rachel shrugged. "I don't actually want people to do that. I don't like people doing that."

"I know. I know. It's just really weird to see a totally severe and serious person suddenly have a personality swap. If I didn't know better I'd think someone was using Polyjuice."

"How sure are you that it wasn't someone using Polyjuice?" Rachel checked.

"I'm sure. Very sure. I just-" Tonks sighed. "Dawlish would have loved that."

That was a name Rachel recognized from somewhere, probably from one of the numerous times the aurors had responded to events at Hogwarts that had involved her. She could also gather from Tonks' expression that Dawlish had died.

"Alright. Let's get you to Madam Bones. I promise that she won't do that," Tonks said, getting herself back under control and looking a little shaken.

They went back through the MLE patrol desk area, down another hallway and then came to a stop in front of a desk. "Stella, I have Rachel Snow to see Madam Bones. Stella, this is Rachel. Rachel, this is Stella Brewerson. She's one of the clerks for Madam Bones and she's court scribe for the Wizengamot, so you'll see her quite a bit."

"Nice to meet you. Come to join all us crazy people on the Wizengamot?" Stella asked.

"Seems that way," Rachel said, glad for someone who was willing to be casual with her.

"The Wizengamot is going to be pretty gruesome for a few months, but it will get better. We're getting the stuff all set up for the trials so we should be able to be done with them by Christmas," Stella said as she stood.

"Were there lots of people captured?" Rachel asked. She'd only seen a handful of surviving Death Eaters at Hogwarts.

"We've got nearly forty people in cells. We've had to pull people from other departments just so we can take care of them while we're questioning them and arranging for trials," she said, shaking her head. "I'll let Madam Bones know you're here, she's expecting you so it should only be a moment."

"How is that going?" Rachel asked Tonks as Stella went down the hall to a set of doors.

"Slowly. Very slowly. Right now we're just questioning them and going straight for what they did as a Death Eater and whether or not they used the Unforgivable Curses. For most of them, along with wand evidence, that sets them up for life in Azkaban. Most of them had the Killing Curse on their wands when we captured them. Under other circumstances we'd question more closely and get a full history and break down all the crimes, but right now we just don't have the people for it, so we're just going after what will give them the longest sentence," Tonks said, grimacing slightly.

"Are any of them innocent?" Rachel asked, feeling a little sick at the idea of all those people going to Azkaban.

"No. Just no. They were all here fighting at the Ministry, fighting in St. Mungo's, or fighting at Hogwarts. They were killing people. We're asking for associates, but we're not pursuing those leads right now. We don't have any plans of letting people off for turning other Death Eaters in. We're not going to repeat the mistakes of the last war. Too many people went free and that partially led to the situation we're in now."

Rachel wasn't sure how to feel about that at all. She knew Death Eaters couldn't be left to roam free, but didn't there have to be options between freedom and being tortured for the rest of their lives?

"Madam Bones is ready for you, straight through those doors," Stella said.

"Will you come?" Rachel asked Tonks.

"If you want me, but you really are safe with Madam Bones," Tonks said.

"I don't know her," Rachel said, feeling her forehead bunch up.

"Then I'll come with you," Tonks said easily. "I've known Madam Bones for going on six years now. She's a bit strict, but she's a good person. She believes in doing what is right over what is easy, and none of this has been easy these past three years."

They arrived at the double doors and Tonks knocked. A voice called for them to enter and they went inside. The office was fairly large, with two picture windows on the far wall, a large desk, a meeting table with chairs around it, and a number of bookshelves, though the office was largely undecorated.

Madam Bones looked to be in her fifties or so, with her brown hair resting around her shoulders and small lines around her mouth. She rose and came to shake Rachel's hand. "Miss Snow. A pleasure to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too," Rachel said, shaking her hand.

"I'm looking forward to having you on the Wizengamot in August. It will take you some time to get used to it, but I've already worked with the Wizengamot Administration Services to assign you a clerk. Usually Wizengamot members share clerks, but I suspect you'll need one to yourself with the volume of mail you get. I selected Booker Richmond after doing a thorough check on him. He's been with Wizengamot Administrative Services for ten years now, he's competent, he has two years of training with the MLE, and he'll be a good support for you.

"Thank you," Rachel said. She wasn't too certain about that, but it seemed like she'd at least have someone who would know what she was supposed to be doing on the Wizengamot to advise her.

"Please, come take a seat. Auror Tonks, are you staying with us for this conversation?" Madam Bones asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Tonks said.

Madam Bones glanced briefly at Rachel and then nodded. "I'm aware that Auror Tonks has been assigned to your security detail before. As long as you are comfortable with it, our intent is for her to continue your security services as needed, though you shouldn't need an escort within the Wizengamot chambers as that area is already highly guarded."

"I'd like that. I trust Tonks," Rachel said, taking a seat in the chair that Madam Bones had gestured her to. Tonks remained standing just inside the doors.

"Excellent. I know she and Auror Shacklebolt have also given you a fair amount of defense training. None of us are trying to say that you are incapable of defending yourself, we merely wish for you to have the protection that you need," Madam Bones said as she took a seat across from Rachel. "Now, I understand from your request that you'd like to speak with me about releasing a statement about the events of the twenty first of June."

"I think it might be necessary given the speculation in the newspapers. People don't seem to really understand what happened. I'm concerned that they're going to question me in the Wizengamot," Rachel explained.

Madam Bones nodded again. "That is a concern we have as well. The Minister, Professor Dumbledore, and I will attempt to limit that as much as we can. All three of us are very aware that there are things that are best kept out of public knowledge."

"I've written a few versions of what happened, some with more details and some with less, but I'd really rather not deal with the press myself. I don't trust the Daily Prophet," Rachel said, reaching into the pocket of her robes and pulling out the rolled up parchment that contained her final drafts of what she and Severus had written together.

Madam Bones watched her for a moment, her mouth in a thin line. "Considering everything that the Daily Prophet has said about you, that's entirely understandable. I need to tell you that I don't see that situation improving in the near future. They will continue to write about you. I suggest you guard your privacy as much as possible. I understand that you're living in a heavily warded location?"

"Yes, and under the Fidelius charm. I'm not expecting anyone to show up there." Thankfully. "And I do understand that it's going to be this way for the rest of my life."

"While the press and public will always wish to be in your business, the intensity of it will die down. It will not always be as it is now," Madam Bones said, her tone more gentle. "May I read your version of events?"

Rachel nodded and passed the scroll of parchment to her. Madam Bones fished a pair of glasses from her pocket and began to read. After a few minutes, Madam Bones picked up a quill and began making annotations.

"I think the third version will work best, but look at the changes I've made and see if you feel they're reasonable," Madam Bones said, passing the scroll back to Rachel.

She began reading, seeing that Madam Bones gave an introductory paragraph as to what legilimency was and that the Dark Lord was a known practitioner. She also made some changes to make it seem as though Rachel had made the decision to go into the Forbidden Forest simply because she wished to save the students and that she had no preparation for it, and that when she woke after being unconscious she heard sounds of the battle and went to go join, rather than simply knowing what she needed to do. She'd also made a note that the phrase 'Dark Lord' should be changed to 'You-Know-Who'.

"It's not exactly accurate, but I can see why we wouldn't want people to think that I magically knew what to do," Rachel said as she handed the scroll back.

"People will be more willing to believe that you made those decisions yourself rather than were guided. We don't want anyone to have any ideas about prophecies. Too many people know about that as it is. We're hoping that we can keep that knowledge out of the press entirely, but enough people know that we can't be certain. If the prophecy is revealed, then we will make another statement, clarifying that you knew what to do because of the prophecy," Madam Bones said. "As you've seen in the newspaper, there is already some talk of it being your destiny to kill You-Know-Who, or that you were doing so out of revenge for him killing your family. We'd much rather people believe that it was revenge than it was destiny."

"Do you think releasing a statement like this will help?" Rachel asked.

"There will still be speculation, but hopefully there will be less speculation and more discussion in the direction that we are sending it. As far as the public is concerned, you are an extraordinary young woman who was willing to die to protect your classmates and who saw an opportunity to end the war and took it. That is not so far from the truth, but it leaves out a great deal of detail. When people are speaking to you, you must focus on that. You needed to save your classmates. You saw that You-Know-Who was vulnerable and you took the opportunity. Nothing about certainty or destiny or that you even had a hunch that You-Know-Who was coming to Hogwarts. I anticipate that Professor Dumbledore will take the Chief Warlock position again in our first meeting in August. He will attempt to circumvent you being questioned, but if you are questioned, stick to this story. If people ask about what happened while you were dead, tell them it was confusing. You are not yet eighteen years old, use that to your advantage. You are overwhelmed by the situation and will be given leave to answer incompletely," Madam Bones explained. "I will step in if the questioning goes too far."

Rachel nodded. It was good to know she had people on her side in this.

"How many people know the truth of what happened?" Madam Bones asked.

"Severus, my godfather, and my friends. So ten people, outside of you, Professor Dumbledore, and the Minister," Rachel said, leaving out Torey. No one needed to know that she saw a Mind Healer. "And they all knew pretty much everything before the battle."

"You trust them completely?"

"I do. They won't talk to anyone about this. They've all been keeping secrets for me for years."

"Good. I strongly recommend that you not tell anyone else. I will put this in a final draft form and then release it to the press. Expect to see it before election ballots are sent. I'd like people to be more informed before they vote. Do you have questions for me?"

"How many Death Eaters are still out there?" Rachel asked.

"That is a difficult question to answer. We have names of some of them who either were not at any of the battles or who were at the battles but escaped. There's no doubt there are Death Eaters that we are not aware of and catching them will only be possible with the help of those we have captured and are questioning, or if they participate in attacks. Most of them will be intelligent enough not to do so, if they've managed to keep their identities concealed for this long. Right now the MLE rates the threat to you as being high. We recommend that you do not go out in public without a security escort. If you need Auror Tonks, all you have to do is ask."

"Thank you," Rachel said, though that didn't fully answer her question. "How many Death Eaters do we know about that are still out there?"

"We have thirty two names that are not accounted for," Madam Bones said. "As I said, there are probably at least that many that we don't know about. We are putting together a team to attempt to apprehend the Death Eaters and to respond to attacks. We hope to have them in service within the next two months. The losses to the MLE were severe."

Rachel nodded, feeling her stomach clench. "I am sorry about that. I wish I knew what I could have done to stop the attacks."

"I do not believe there was anything you could have done, Miss Snow. The situation was largely out of our control, and I say that with the knowledge of what you and Professor Dumbledore were attempting to do. The fact of the matter is that we won the war, even though the cost was high. We did what needed to be done and now we will rebuild," Madam Bones said, though her expression was tight and the lines around her mouth had become deep. "If there is anything you need me for, please let me know."

"Thank you," Rachel said, recognizing the dismissal. "I'll let you be, I'm sure you're very busy."

"Aren't we all?" Madam Bones said.

Rachel nodded. She wasn't very busy at the moment, but she suspected she would be come August. She stood and left the room with Tonks. They went all the way back to the fireplace that Williamson was monitoring and flooed back to Sirius' house.

"How'd it go?" Sirius asked.

"Okay," Rachel said, not entirely sure what to say about everything that had happened. "Did you get a book about animagus behavior from the Ministry when you registered?"

"Yes, but I didn't need it. I don't need a book to tell me how to be an animagus. It's somewhere around here. I might have vanished it when we were cleaning up," Sirius said with a shrug.

Rachel felt her mouth trying to smile.

"Stay for lunch you two?" Sirius asked.

"Sure, I'm technically still guarding Rachel," Tonks said.

"Okay," Rachel said, sitting down at the table. She would have lunch with Sirius and try to get all of the swirling thoughts in her mind to leave her alone.

---

Rachel frowned down at her piece of parchment. She'd rewritten this article twice already and she still wasn't happy with it. At this point it was probably best to let Severus see it, because she knew she was going to have to make formatting changes anyway before it was submitted to any journal. She might as well make the formatting changes and the content changes at the same time.

The article itself was fairly straightforward. She stated her goals, gave examples of the different modifications she'd made and the reasoning behind them, wrote about the end results for each modification, and theorized about why some of the modifications failed. That was the easy part. The part she was still stuck on was the reasoning for inventing the potion in the first place.

She figured that it was like with the press release that Madam Bones was going to give. She couldn't control how people were going to respond or what they were going to say, but she could at least give the conversation a push in the direction she wanted it to go. The difficult part was picking a direction that made sense and didn't lead people to speculating either the truth or that she had an addiction to sleeping potions. Saying it was for people with trauma from healing potions was just as bad. She didn't want people to speculate that about her either.

It really just left the option of saying that she was doing a study on the interactions with the sopophorous bean juice and a review of stimulants. While she felt that would probably go over fine in a potions journal - she'd looked through some and saw many articles from people in their Masteries who were doing studies on specific ingredients and modifying the potions where they were the reactionary ingredient - she wasn't sure whether or not the Daily Prophet, specifically Rita Skeeter, would really buy that. She felt that Rita Skeeter would take the worst possible explanation for inventing the potion and have that as the front page headline.

Rachel could just see it now: 'Girl-Who-Lived Develops Potion to Enable Addiction to Sleeping Potions'. How was anyone supposed to take her seriously if they believed that about her? It was bad enough with them knowing about her childhood. How was she supposed to be seen as a member of the Wizengamot when all people could see was her past?

And, of course, any protests that she didn't have an addiction wouldn't be believed. It felt slightly ridiculous to her that this was her problem. Less than a month ago she was trying to prevent a homicidal dark lord from taking over the country. Now she was trying to manage her image in the press. It was somewhat of a let down.

She found herself thinking about what Tonks and Madam Bones had told her. The war was not yet over. The Death Eaters were still out there. The Death Eaters were still out there and she could do something about it. Tonks had as good as said that Rachel had the training to join the team. Rachel felt ready to do that. She wasn't some frightened child anymore. She was an adult. She'd been in combat. She was trained. And, at the end of the day, the war and the Death Eaters were her responsibility. Not hers alone, of course, but she had played a fairly significant role in the war.

There were a few problems with this plan. The first was that the Death Eaters wanted her dead and would definitely kill her on sight. Rachel thought that could be mitigated fairly easily. She would go in disguise. She'd have to think up a new name for herself, something nondescript, and she'd wear one of the disguise cloaks from the twins. She could even use a sticking charm on the hood so it wouldn't fall off and reveal her.

The next step was a little simpler. She had to convince the aurors to let her join. That didn't seem like it would be much of a problem. She'd killed the Dark Lord. The aurors should be very open to her joining them after that.

Then there was Severus. She didn't even have to bring it up with him to know that he wouldn't approve. She knew he wouldn't accept that she had a responsibility to the war - he'd always said that the war wasn't her responsibility. She knew that if she told him that the war wasn't over, he'd tell her that was all the more reason for her to stay hidden and safe. She wasn't sure what would be a convincing argument other than the fact that this was something she believed she needed to do.

At any rate, she felt like she couldn't move forward with that plan without his blessing. Or at the very least, telling him what she was going to do. But that could wait a few more days. The next step was seeing how everyone reacted to the press release and getting through the election with as little bloodshed as possible. And finishing this stupid article.

Rachel picked up her article and her quill and went downstairs. Severus' office door was open and he was at his desk, bent over his plans for the new greenhouse. "Can I come in?" she asked.

"Of course," Severus said, setting down his quill.

"What are you doing?" she asked, taking a seat in the chair on the visitors' side of the desk.

"Optimizing plant arrangement for neighboring plants and sunlight. I'm not sure what the sunlight will look like here in the winter. I've never stayed anywhere this far south in the winter."

Rachel nodded. "It looks like a big greenhouse."

"I considered doing two, but I will start with one and that should be enough to contend with for now. Is that something you're bringing me?" he asked, nodding to the parchment in her hands.

"Yes. Draft of the article for the modified Dreamless Sleep potion. I know it will need reformatting, but I wanted your thoughts on it before I did the next draft," she said, setting the parchment on his desk.

Severus kept his gaze on her. "I'm a little surprised. When we last spoke of this it seemed like you'd decided not to write the article for this potion. What changed your mind?"

Rachel shrugged. "I decided I'm not going to let the newspaper decide what I can and can't do. If publishing this article is the right step for my career, then I'm going to do it. And if the newspaper reads this and decides I have an addiction to sleeping potions…then I guess we'll deal with that when it happens. I just wish I had a different explanation for why I invented the modification. It fits with other articles in the potions journals, but Rita Skeeter isn't going to buy it."

"I can't say it won't happen. And Skeeter seems determined to take the worst possible view of events for anyone she writes about, she isn't only targeting you. I believe most of Britain knows to take her articles with a grain of salt." He looked down and read the article. "I think your explanation is fine. I would even suggest that you do include a paragraph about who your modification will be useful for, including people who have had difficulty with addictions and who have healing trauma or other difficulties with standard sleeping potions."

"Maybe." She knew that she was supposed to include that. Her potion didn't do any good if no one would benefit from it. And it wasn't like Rita Skeeter couldn't come to that conclusion on her own.

"Let me give this an editing pass and then we'll talk about formatting for submission. I strongly suspect that Modern Potions will take this, even though you haven't officially started a Mastery yet," he said, setting down the article.

"Not just because of who I am?" she checked.

"No. Modern Potions is one of the guild sponsored journals and is published in several English speaking countries. They would not accept your article if it was not well written and had made an advance in the field. I would be highly surprised if the phrase Girl-Who-Lived entered the equation at all."

"Good. People keep saying that it's an honor to meet me."

The corners of Severus' mouth twitched up. "I think you will have to endure that quite a bit."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "It's weird. It's really weird. The person who registered me for being an animagus held onto my hand and thanked me."

"I suspect that will happen fairly often as well. Try to be polite and gracious. They are being sincere," he advised.

"I know. I do know that. It's just uncomfortable. I just want to be me. They all think that I'm this person that I'm not."

"What person do you believe that they think you are?" he asked, now watching her closely.

Rachel looked away. "I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. Just the way that they look at me. I feel like they think I did something that I didn't. Professor Dumbledore did most of the work in killing the Dark Lord. He did the hard part, not me."

"I would not say that he did a more difficult part than you did. He used magic that you do not know, yes. But you were the one who killed the Dark Lord, not Albus. And prophecy or no, I don't believe Albus could have won that fight. I was fighting myself at the time, but I could see the duel taking place. Albus would not have won. You both did the part the other could not. And I assure you, Albus is being lauded for his role in this as well, it was just more expected of him. People did not know the prophecy. They did not expect you to kill the Dark Lord. There is also some mythologizing already about your return from the dead, and that plays a part as well."

She closed her eyes and thought back to the battle. She'd seen no sign that either the Dark Lord or Professor Dumbledore had been ready to win their duel, but she supposed she didn't really know what to look for either. She'd barely been able to see Professor Dumbledore in the midst of all that elemental magic. "I just don't want people to expect that this is something I can do."

"I'm not sure that in general people are expecting anything else from you. I think they are all aware that you are not a witch on Albus' level, certainly not at eighteen years old. If you wanted to study more powerful magic, that is an option that is open to you. You have a good background for it. I anticipate that you'll want to learn some wandless magic just for the sake of being able to do it and I'd be happy to teach you what I know about it," Severus offered.

"I mean I should probably learn a little wandless magic, just so I can do things like summon my wand and unlock things, just in case I need it. But I don't really want to be the kind of wizard that Professor Dumbledore is. I don't want that to be my future."

"Then it doesn't have to be. The possibility is there, if you want it, but if you would prefer to focus on different things, then that is open to you as well. I do not want you to think that a Potions Mastery is your only path forward. I do not want you to do a Potions Mastery because you believe that's what I expect of you. I want you to decide what you want for the future."

Rachel pondered that. If she was joining the aurors to hunt down the Death Eaters, maybe a Potions Mastery wasn't in her immediate future. "I know. And you're not pushing me into anything. And I might not do a Potions Mastery right away, there are a lot of things to adjust to right now. And I'm still considering Quidditch. Plus there's the Wizengamot to think of."

"You may be able to ask the Potions Masters and Mistresses that you interview with if they are willing to extend their offer of their apprenticeships until after the Death Eater trials. I suspect that will take up a fair amount of your time," he suggested.

She might ask them if she could extend the offer longer than that, until the Death Eaters were dealt with altogether. "That's a possibility. We'll have to see what my NEWT scores say."

"I'm not concerned in the slightest about your NEWT scores. Are you?"

Rachel sighed and looked at him again. "I wasn't exactly focused on my NEWTs this past year."

"I know that you put in the study time and that you were ready to take your Potions and Herbology NEWTs by the end of your sixth year. I'm not concerned."

"I guess we'll see when the scores get here. Can't be too long now."

"No, it should be in the next week at the latest," he agreed. "If you are planning to try out for Quidditch teams, I would recommend you start writing those letters as well."

That meant she needed to make some decisions. And soon. "I will. As soon as I figure out what I'm doing."

"Just let me know if you want me to read them before you send them. I'm not overly familiar with the minutiae of Quidditch, but I can edit your letters if you'd like me to."

"Thanks." She suspected that all she had to do was remind them of who she was and their offer to let her try out. Shouldn't be too bad. She got to her feet. "I'm going to go fly for a bit."

"Be in for dinner," he said, setting aside her article and returning to his work.

Rachel left his office, her mind busy at work trying to figure out what she could manage to do. The Wizengamot was necessary, but how many things could she balance with that?

---

On Monday morning there was yet another rehash in the newspaper of the press release, but at least - like Madam Bones had expected - there was less speculation and now they were talking more about the facts they'd been given. So far nobody who knew about the prophecy was saying anything, which was also a good sign.

Rachel set aside the newspaper and looked at Severus. "How many people know the prophecy? I know the Minister and Madam Bones know. My friends know. Sirius and Remus. Torey. Gemma knows. You and Professor Dumbledore."

Severus nodded. "Minerva and Poppy both know, as they had the additional task of removing you from Hogwarts in case of an evacuation. Arthur Weasley, also with the intent that he was a possibility of sheltering you for a period of time if it came to that. Tonks and Kingsley, again with the intent of guarding you. Likely, if we'd left for the continent as a group, many of those people would have been with us."

"I understand. They had to know what they were getting into before they agreed to try to protect me." That wasn't so bad. That wasn't necessarily a lot of people and she knew they were all trustworthy.

"I think all of them understand the importance of keeping that information to themselves, even now that the war has ended. However, we cannot discount the possibility that the Dark Lord may have told someone. It just depends on whether or not he felt he had something to gain by sharing that information. My instinct suggests that he would want to conceal the prophecy as something that was a weakness to him, but I'm not certain."

That was concerning, but Rachel thought that the Dark Lord would have rather have kept the fact that there was someone out there who could kill him to himself. "How many people know about my connection? Again my friends do. Sirius and Remus. Torey. Gemma. You and Professor Dumbledore. From what I could tell, the Minister and Madam Bones know too."

"The Minister and Madam Bones were aware that you were conversing with the Dark Lord in your mind and that you received visions of what the Dark Lord was doing, but not about your specific abilities or the nature of your connection. Poppy knows about the visions as she was treating you. Tonks knows at least some, after having seen you have a vision and after our trip to Gringotts for the cup. Molly and Arthur are aware of your visions, but not more than that," he listed.

Again, not too bad, and all people that she trusted not to talk to the Daily Prophet.

"Whether or not the Dark Lord shared information about his connection with his Death Eaters is another unknown, but again, I doubt it. He preferred to keep secrets, especially about himself."

She looked back at the newspaper. "People seem to be going with the idea that I made the decision to fight the Dark Lord and not that I was otherwise influenced to do so. Which is good, but it makes me feel a little guilty."

"It is not untrue. You could have easily made the choice not to go to the Dark Lord or to not come to the battle after you returned." Severus arched an eyebrow at her.

"No, I couldn't." She really couldn't have done that.

"Are you saying that you were compelled? That you were forced to act?"

"Not by having him take over my body or something. I just couldn't let more people be killed."

Severus nodded. "You made the decision to go in order to save the lives of the students. You made the decision to return and to fight the Dark Lord. That's exactly what the newspaper is saying."

Rachel looked down at her breakfast and then pulled her wand and performed a warming charm on her eggs. Maybe she needed to switch to porridge or something in the mornings.

"Your actions saved many lives. Please do not believe that you didn't, simply because we are altering the story slightly for your protection."

Her actions hadn't saved enough lives, though she still didn't know what exactly she could have done differently. She forced herself to begin eating.

The sound of a tawny owl arriving caught their attention and Rachel watched as Severus went to the perch, where Gladys had scooted over to allow the new owl to land, and he removed two thick envelopes. The visiting owl stayed for a moment to gulp some water and then took off again.

Severus returned to the table, his wand working over the envelopes. "This should be our election booklets and ballots," he said, passing her one and then opening his own.

Rachel opened hers and found a small book and then a folded piece of parchment that had a long list of names and a spot for her signature and for a drop of her blood. She flipped through the book and found short biographies for each person listed. "In magical politics, do people not campaign? I've never heard of most of these people."

"People do not campaign openly. They hold meetings with friends and friends of friends. They hold fundraisers for charities. They do things so that they are reported on in the Daily Prophet. But running an open election campaign is considered crass. In your booklet, I want you to look for certain phrases. 'For the protection of our society' is a big one that indicates the candidate supports pureblood superiority. 'Supporting traditional values' is another one that suggests that they run on an anti-muggleborn platform. Being against 'law for the sake of law' also indicates that they are unwilling to vote in support of minorities or marginalized groups," Severus explained.

"Can I tell my friends that?" she asked as she flipped through the booklet, searching for the phrases he mentioned.

"Yes, please do, though most of them will know that from their upbringing. On your ballot, you will go through and mark your choices by rank, with the people you support the most with the highest numbers. It looks like there are twenty seven seats open for election this year, as well as voting for candidates for the Minister's position. I think it's likely Scrimgeour will retain the Minister's seat while the Death Eater threat still looms."

Rachel looked down the list again. There were three candidates for the Minister's seat, and over fifty for the elected Wizengamot seats. "How much support do you think the Death Eater candidates are going to get now that the Dark Lord is gone?"

"Some. There are still people who will vote for them, but now people will not be casting their votes in fear of reprisals. Also, given the massacre at the Ministry, many people will not wish to be seen openly supporting the Death Eaters. It is clear that our side has won, and if people wish for power in the near future, they will ingratiate themselves with our side, often by pretending that they supported us all alone."

She shook her head. "I really don't think I'm ready to take my seat on the Wizengamot."

"No one is truly ready for that until they do it. It will be an adjustment, but we'll make sure you get through it alright," he promised.

"Madam Bones said she got me assigned a clerk who has MLE training, and that I can call on Tonks if I need additional protection."

"Good. I'm glad she made arrangements in advance. Amelia will be a powerful ally to you. Out of everyone on the Wizengamot, I would say that she is your most trustworthy source of power. That isn't to say that she doesn't have her own agenda, but her agenda will include protecting you due to her role in the MLE."

Rachel warmed her eggs again and this time dedicated herself to eating them. "I suppose it's like doing anything else new. I just have to do it and see what happens."

"I think that's the next step. And you do have resources available to you. Your clerk should be able to guide you through the minutiae of your responsibilities with the Wizengamot. Black, Draco, and Neville will all have a good survey of the political ground within the Wizengamot. And, of course, I will do my best to advise you as well."

She nodded. She did have a lot of people she could ask for help from. She supposed she'd spend the morning reading the booklet and voting and then she could go back to the revisions of the draft that Severus had given her yesterday. Later in the day she'd brew more of her modified Dreamless Sleep potion and go flying. She'd already made arrangements to see her friends tomorrow. She felt a little better having a plan of what she was going to do next.

---

"Well, everyone getting their ballots means that we all passed at least one NEWT," Hermione said once they had all settled into the sitting room. Ron had joined them today and Malcolm was there as well at Rachel and Theo's encouragement.

"Was that ever in question?" Draco asked.

"It's just nice to have confirmation. I hope that means we'll be getting our scores soon," Hermione said.

"Severus says sometime this week," Rachel said, though she was also a little bit nervous about her scores. "He also told me some things about the election, like who to look out for when voting."

"Who did he say?" Neville asked.

"Well, not any specific person, but he said if in their biography if they wrote that they supported traditional values, or were against the law for the sake of the law, or if they use the phrase 'for the protection of our society' that they probably support pureblood superiority," Rachel listed.

"'For the protection of our society' is a Death Eater slogan," Theo said. "Anyone using that openly should be investigated by the MLE."

"Probably why only three people had it in there," Rachel agreed. "Oh, there's something I should tell you about the MLE too. Something Tonks said to me. The aurors are recruiting for a team to help respond to Death Eater attacks and to hunt down the remaining Death Eaters. She said we all have the requisite training for it."

Millie quickly shook her head. "I never want to do anything like that again."

"Me either, unfortunately. I think I'll be of better use to the world preparing to become a curse specialist," Hermione said.

"I'd sign up. They're accepting people even without the NEWT scores to become an auror?" Ron asked.

"I think so, she didn't say anything about NEWT scores. They're in a pretty desperate place right now, there's only eighteen aurors left. I think they'll take anyone with the training," Rachel said with a shrug.

"I'd consider it," Draco said after a moment. "Are we just supposed to send a letter or something?"

Rachel frowned. "I'm not sure actually. We can ask Tonks though, she'll know."

"I don't think I want to do that," Neville said. "I know it's important, but I feel like I've got enough on my hands entering the Wizengamot. And I really would like to start my Mastery."

"It's not for me either, I think," Theo said.

"Are you considering it, Rachel?" Luna asked.

"I am. The war isn't over yet and I intend to make sure it ends with as few deaths as possible."

"Is that a good idea when the Death Eaters want to kill you?" Millie asked, turning to look at Rachel with her brow furrowed.

"I think the Death Eaters will want to kill any of the aurors who are trying to stop them, and I could probably wear a disguise." Rachel turned to Ginny. "Actually, I was hoping to talk with Fred and George at some point to find out if they made disguises that were more suitable for summer. There's no way I'm going out in public as myself."

"I can ask them. I'm sure it's on their list if they haven't done it already," Ginny said. "Really though, Rachel? Are you sure you want to seek the Death Eaters out? Haven't we spent enough time with them coming after you?"

"The Death Eaters will be coming after me anyway, that hasn't changed. Maybe I'm safer bringing the fight to them," Rachel tried.

Theo shook his head. "No one is going to stop you if you really want to do this, but at least think through all the possibilities that could happen first. That goes for you too, Draco. You're still pretty high up on the Death Eater's wanted list. And given your family's affiliations, you're probably not much safer, Ron."

"I was hoping to join the aurors or the MLE anyway. And I think Rachel might be right. The best way to be safe, for everyone to be safe, is to stop the Death Eaters as soon as possible. The more time they have to regroup means the more time they have to plan and pick targets," Ron said.

"Maybe, but do we have to be the ones doing it?" Hermione asked.

"No one is asking anyone to do something they don't want to do," Draco said. "Besides, can you think of anyone else in our year who is ready and trained to fight Death Eaters? I can't see any of our classmates signing up for this. Of the people who had already left Hogwarts, the ones who were willing to fight were already fighting. Everyone else was hiding or fleeing."

"I just don't want to lose anyone else," Neville said, Ginny nodding next to him.

"None of us want to die or to lose anyone," Rachel said. "But that's not something we can control directly. The reality is there are still Death Eater attacks and there will continue to be Death Eater attacks until something is done about it. I'd much rather risk my life now to stop the Death Eaters than to wait in fear for years. I don't want to be afraid anymore and I don't want to hide anymore. And if we try out joining the auror team and find that we can't manage it, then we'll leave. They won't keep us there against our will. This isn't like being at Hogwarts anymore. We're not tucked safe behind the castle walls and wards. There are thousands of people out there and some of them want to kill us. I don't intend to wait for it to happen."

Rachel realized that she had her argument for Severus now, and even if he wouldn't agree, she knew that she was right.

"I'm not sure we were all that safe in Hogwarts, to be honest," Theo said. "But I can understand why you want to do something about it. We just worry."

"We do worry," Millie agreed. "We've spent a very long time being worried."

"I think it's like Rachel said. We can try it out, and if we think it's too likely we'll be killed, we'll stop. But the aurors have the upper hand here. I don't think we're going to see many more auror casualties," Draco said.

"What are Professor Snape and Sirius going to think about the three of you running off to join the aurors?" Hermione asked.

Rachel met Draco's gaze and saw that he hadn't thought that far ahead yet.

"Well. They won't be pleased, but they can't exactly stop us," Draco said.

"My mom always wanted my brothers to join the Ministry, she can't exactly complain when I do it," Ron said.

"She will, oh believe me, she will," Ginny said. "You might want to talk to Sirius about moving into one of his attic flats because mom is going to have a melt down at the idea of you hunting Death Eaters."

Ron's eyes grew wide, but he nodded.

"Will you really do it if they say you can't?" Malcolm asked, peering at them from his armchair.

Rachel wasn't sure what her answer was. If Severus absolutely forbade her from joining the aurors, he couldn't actually stop her, but she also didn't want to break her relationship with him and it was still on a little fragile ground after she had died.

"I think Sirius will understand. He'll be upset at first, but he can hardly talk given he joined the Order at eighteen with none of the training that we had," Draco said. "As for Professor Snape, there's no doubt he'll think it's a stupid decision, but he also doesn't have a lot of room to argue given that he joined the Death Eaters."

Rachel would never throw that back in his face, but Draco had a point. Severus had made a much more dangerous decision at the same age she was now.

"Well, it is your decision to make at the end of the day. I just would really rather all of you were doing something safe," Hermione said, looking around the room. "Having said that, do we want to look at the listings for some of the places that Draco's real estate agent has suggested?"

"I think that would be a good idea if we're planning on moving out in a month," Theo said.

"I've got the listings here and he said he would keep looking. Some of these I think we can say no to without even seeing them," Draco said, pulling out a sheaf of parchment.

They all gathered closer and Rachel refocused her thoughts away from what she was going to say to Severus and on to where they might live. The thought of moving out was both daunting and exciting.

---

"You have an envelope from the Ministry. I suspect it's either your NEWT scores or your Wizengamot summons," Severus said when Rachel came down for breakfast on Wednesday.

Rachel came to the table and sat down, peering at the envelope but not picking it up yet. Part of her hoped that it was just her Wizengamot summons, but part of her just wanted to know her NEWT scores and get it over with. "Can people retake their NEWTs if they score poorly?" she asked, realizing that she should have asked that before now.

"Yes, but you'd have to wait until next June. Rachel, I honestly do not believe you have done poorly. Do you? Do you have any evidence in your schooling that suggests that you'd do poorly on these exams?"

"My attention was not particularly on my school work these past two years," she admitted.

"Yet you scored well at the end of your sixth year, your professors have all indicated that you were performing well in your class assignments and quizzes. I know you were studying a great deal with your friends. We've had this discussion many times, but I will tell you once more. I am proud of you regardless of your scores and grades, whether you do well or poorly. I want you to do what you want to do with your life, rather than trying to please me. Whether that means you do a Mastery or play Quidditch or something else. It is your life, Rachel," he ducked his head down slightly to catch her gaze.

Rachel somewhat doubted he was still going to be saying that when she told him about the auror team. She picked up the envelope, carefully peeled back the wax seal, and withdrew the letter inside. It was her NEWT scores. She took in the scores themselves with a brief glance, not connecting them to the subjects just yet. Five Outstandings, two Exceeds Expectations. She thought that was rather better than she could have hoped for, given everything. She'd received Exceeds Expectations in Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, Outstandings in everything else. "Not bad," she said, pushing the letter across the table to Severus.

"Not bad? You did very well. Congratulations," he said. "Even if you decided you wanted to do a Mastery in Ancient Runes or Arithmancy, I'm certain you could find someone who would apprentice you with those scores."

"I don't, but that's good to know," she said.

"Assuming you do want to do a Potions Mastery, you'll want to send copies of your scores to the people you applied with along with a letter letting them know your availability for an interview," Severus continued.

Rachel repressed a sigh. She supposed the time to do this was now. "I do want to do a Potions Mastery. I intend to do a Potions Mastery, but there's something I need to do first."

"What's that?"

"I'm going to join the auror team that's hunting the remaining Death Eaters."

Severus stared at her, his expression blank.

"I know this is something you don't want me to do-"

"You're damn right this is not something I want you to do. Rachel, have you lost your mind?"

"No, I haven't. The war isn't over, Severus. And I have to stop it."

"No. Absolutely not. Rachel, this is insanity. I know you feel a responsibility for the war, one that I have many times tried to dissuade you from, but your role in the war is over. Have I not made it clear to you by now that the Death Eaters will kill you on sight? You are not safe just because the Dark Lord is dead." His face had gone nearly white and his mouth was firmly set as he stared at her.

"I will wear a disguise, the Death Eaters won't know it's me," she began.

"They don't need to know it's you in order to kill you. Do you think being an auror is easy? Do you know how many of them died fighting the Death Eaters during this war? Do you know how many died during the last war?"

"I do know." Rachel stood up. "I don't think being an auror is easy, but I'm not just going to sit here and wait for the Death Eaters to come to me. I want to feel safe and I can't do that while they're out there."

Severus exhaled. "I understand that you want to feel safe. You have not had the opportunity to be safe and I am sorry for that. I should have taken you away from here years ago. But seeking out the Death Eaters is the opposite of being safe. You will be putting yourself in even more danger."

"For a short period of time. I'd much rather deal with the Death Eaters now than have this go on for years and years," she insisted.

"There will be other people to fight the Death Eaters, I promise. The Ministry isn't going to simply stop responding to Death Eater attacks. And there will always be Death Eaters, if not in name, than in function. I am sorry, Rachel. But you cannot do this."

"I think I'm the one that gets to say what I do with my life," she said, wishing that she could fix this but not knowing how. She was right and she knew what she needed to do. Severus was just going to have to get used to it.

"Do not throw your life away. I only just got you back," he said, his expression now pained.

"I'm not throwing my life away. I'm choosing to do what's important." Rachel picked up her NEWT scores. "I'm going to go talk with my friends, I'm sure everyone wants to share their NEWT scores. I'll be back later."

"Be home by dinner at the latest," Severus called after her as she left the room.

"I will," she called back. She wasn't cruel enough to just disappear on him.

She went upstairs, put on her shoes and grabbed her bag, and then apparated to Sirius' front doorstep and let herself in. It was a good thing that Severus hadn't told her to send a Patronus message when she arrived because she wasn't sure she could cast it right now. She could feel that she was shaking.

She found Theo, Draco, Neville, and Malcolm in the kitchen having breakfast.

"You're here early. What, did you fail a NEWT?" Draco asked.

"No." Rachel sat down across from them. "I told Severus about joining the aurors. He said that I couldn't do it, and I told him that I could make decisions for my own life."

"Ouch," Theo said. "What'd he do?"

"I don't know. I left." Rachel shrugged. "He was upset."

"Bad upset?" Malcolm asked, looking worried.

Rachel sighed. "No, he just doesn't understand why I want to do this. He seems to think that this is like when I was at Hogwarts and he can just say what I can and can't do. Have you told Sirius?" she asked Draco.

"Not yet. I was kind of waiting until I found out more information. I wrote a letter to Tonks seeing if she could tell me what we're supposed to do," Draco said. "How did you do on your NEWTS?"

"Five Outstandings, Exceeds Expectations in Arithmancy and Ancient Runes," she said, producing the letter.

Theo nodded. "That's good. I got an Exceeds Expectations in Arithmancy, but Outstandings on the rest."

"Outstandings in Potions, Herbology, Charms, and Defense. Exceeds Expectations in Transfiguration and Ancient Runes," Draco listed.

"Outstandings in Herbology, Charms, Defense. Exceeds Expectations in Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, and Potions," Neville said. "Good enough for me, that's all I needed for my Mastery program."

"Hermione has already been down, she got Outstandings on everything, which is only to be expected," Theo said.

"Has anyone heard from Millie?" Rachel asked.

"Let's tell her to come over," Theo said, pulling his wand. "To Millicent Bulstrode. We're at Sirius', come say hello." His shark swam away with the message.

"What do you think my Patronus form will be?" Malcolm asked.

"Hard to say. I don't know anyone who has guessed their Patronus form," Theo said. "I certainly wasn't expecting mine."

"Mine either, but I really grew to like it," Neville said.

"Apparently mine is because of Professor Snape's Patronus form. I associate him with protection, so my Patronus echoed his," Rachel said. "Though it's slightly different, with the two of them side by side, you can see my doe is smaller and is slightly differently shaped. My mom's Patronus form was a doe as well, and my father's was a stag."

"I wonder if my parents had Patronus forms. They must have, right? Because they were in the Order," Neville asked.

"Maybe Sirius or Severus will remember. I can ask Severus, if you'd like?" Rachel offered, though she wasn't sure what her next conversation with Severus was going to look like.

Neville nodded. "That would be nice. I'll ask Sirius and Remus. Maybe someone will know."

Millie entered the kitchen, her robes fluttering around her feet. "Early morning meeting?"

"We were all here. Let's see if Hermione can come down too," Theo said. "To Hermione Granger. We're all in the kitchen if you want to join us."

"NEWTs?" Draco asked her.

"Outstandings in Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms, and Defense. Exceeds Expectations in Arithmancy and Potions. My parents were very pleased until my mom told me I still had time to make a late application to the Healers Program," Millie said, sitting down with a sigh.

"What did you tell her?" Rachel asked.

"I told her that I didn't want to be a Healer, that I was doing a Mastery in Charms and that she was just going to have to accept that. If she wanted someone to be a Healer like her it could be Isobelle. And then Isobelle said she didn't want to be a Healer either." Millie sighed again. "That didn't go over well."

"What are you going to do?" Malcolm asked.

Millie shrugged. "Send my scores and letters to the people I applied with, hopefully start my Charms Mastery, and move out with all of you. Mom will have to accept reality sooner or later."

Rachel nodded. She thought that basically had to be her plan as well. She knew what she was going to do. And Severus was going to have to figure out his own feelings about it.

Hermione entered the kitchen. "Well, how'd everyone do?"

Everyone related their NEWT scores again and Hermione sat down with a smile. "I'm so pleased. We all did so well and we're all set up to go into our Masteries. When do you think we'll hear back from them?"

"We have interviews after they receive our scores, so we'll probably be set up to begin by the start of September," Theo said.

"We should write letters together," Hermione said. "We're all here, we might as well."

"We can do that," Rachel said. It would be good to take a step forward on this.

"Are you trying to do a Mastery, the Wizengamot, and the aurors?" Draco asked Rachel with raised eyebrows.

"No, I'm going to ask the people I applied with if I can postpone until the stuff with the aurors is done. I'm considering doing Quidditch though. I need to write letters to the teams and ask if they're still accepting me to try out."

"You are going to be ridiculously busy, but I suppose that's pretty normal for you," Millie said.

"Well, I don't even know if I'll get on a Quidditch team, it will be a long shot. Besides, I'm not sure I'd know what to do with myself if I wasn't busy." After sitting around for a few weeks, Rachel was ready to be busy again.

"Maybe taking a break," Theo said. "You've more than earned it."

"I think this is as much of a break as I can handle," Rachel admitted. "Do we have parchment?"

"I can get some," Hermione said as she stood.

Rachel felt herself relaxing a little bit. She could be here with her friends for a while. She'd figure out what to do about Severus later.

---

Severus scowled to himself as he worked on building the frame of his greenhouse. He'd been a low simmering anger all morning.

Join the aurors. What the hell was she thinking?

Had he not just spent seven years trying to raise his child to think before she acted and to have a good head on her shoulders?

Not once, not once had she ever said anything about joining the aurors to him or he would have put a stop to it then and there. Ridiculous.

These people wanted to kill her and her solution was to go after them?

Severus paused and considered his project. Right now the frame only stood as far as his waist, though it stretched through the whole perimeter of where the greenhouse would stand. He would finish the frame and then conjure the glass panels. It was at least another week's worth of work.

He was in no particular rush. It would be another few seasons before he had a full greenhouse regardless and he could easily get most things he needed from the apothecaries in Britain. It was simply cheaper and easier to grow it on his own. He'd marked a few more areas for ingredient beds in the gardens. After he finished the frame and the panels he would work on expanding the cellar.

In the meantime he needed to figure out some way to make Rachel see sense.

If she was still at Hogwarts, it would be simple enough to stop her. He would simply forbid her to do it and that would be the end of it. Now she was an adult and talking about moving out - and joining the aurors! - and suddenly this was all beyond his control. Somehow the idea that the Death Eaters wanted to kill her wasn't enough to dissuade her.

Under other circumstances of an eighteen year old wishing to join the aurors he would chalk it up to youthful inexperience and a misunderstanding of how vulnerable they were. He knew that wasn't the case for Rachel. She'd spent the last four years with people trying to kill her. She'd been abducted three times. She'd survived torture and the Killing Curse and more attempts on her life than he could even list.

Maybe that was the problem in itself. Rachel had said that she wished to feel safe. It was clear enough that she hadn't had the opportunity to feel safe, probably not in her entire life. He had done his best to make their home a safe place for her, but with the Dark Lord invading her mind, even that had been tainted by the war.

The continuing problem was that he did not have a way to make things safe for Rachel. They would never find all of the Death Eaters. Her role on the Wizengamot would keep her in the public's eye for the rest of her life, unless she chose to resign her seat or pass the seat onto her own child. The press would continue to hound her and Rachel would never be free of her legacy.

If he believed he could convince her to leave Britain, he would try, but he didn't think that was the answer.

Somehow he needed to convince her that joining the aurors was making her less safe, not more. But if she couldn't see that for herself, he wasn't sure what would convince her.

A small part of him worried that Rachel wished to do this because it was dangerous and because she was having second thoughts about being alive. He'd been watching her these past few weeks, trying to see if her encounter with death had changed her. At this point, he honestly couldn't tell.

He knew she was having difficulty with sleeping; he was as well. He knew the casualties of the war hung heavily on her and that she was second guessing how things had turned out. He was doing that as well, though his mind was more focused on when he should have interceded with Albus and how he could have known he needed to take Rachel away. It seemed like if he could just find that moment, that clue that told him that Albus was an enemy, then he could absolve himself.

Severus suspected it was much more like the analogy of the boiling pot and the frog. The war had built up slowly around them and Albus had slowly asked for more and more from Rachel and Severus had allowed it to happen. He was a very thoroughly boiled frog. He supposed he should just be grateful that he and Rachel were alive to tell the tale, though no one would ever hear the full truth of what had happened from either of them.

Overly warm, Severus abandoned his project, intending to come back and add another layer of frame once the sun was lower in the sky. He went inside the kitchen, drank a glass of water, and then considered his options.

The full and frustrating truth of the matter was that he could not stop Rachel if this was what she chose to do - though he could hope that Bones and Robards had enough sense to simply tell Rachel no. Settling himself in his armchair, he decided his argument was simple enough. He did not want Rachel to die. He did not want Rachel to endure more suffering. If Rachel was courting death, then they needed to speak to Torey about how to help her.

Resigned to the conversation, Severus picked up the notepad he'd been working on and looked over where he'd left off yesterday. He was theorizing over the extended use of goosegrass in certain Healing potions and how it could be substituted for improved effects. At the very least, the work would keep him occupied until he had a regular brewing schedule and a place to do it in.

---

Rachel apparated back home a few hours before dinner, when she felt like she couldn't put it off any longer. She wasn't entirely sure what to do. Her instincts said to avoid someone while they were angry, but she couldn't avoid him forever. Her mind then told her that if she couldn't avoid it, it was best to just get it over with. She wasn't sure how rational that was either, but she liked it better than tiptoeing around the house.

She found him in his armchair, his work spread around him and an empty cup of tea on the small table by his side.

"I presume you saw your friends?" he asked when he looked up.

"Yes. Everyone did well on their NEWTs. I don't think any of them will have a problem getting into their Masteries," she said, hesitating, but then taking a seat on the sofa. "We wrote drafts of letters together."

He nodded. "If you'd like me to look at your letters before you send them, I'd be happy to."

"Thanks," she said. She looked down and tapped her fingers together. Now that she was here, she didn't know what to say.

"May we talk about this morning?" Severus asked.

"I know what you're going to say." She knew his objections quite well.

"What am I going to say?"

"That we're putting ourselves in unnecessary danger. That the Death Eaters are still after us. That other people will join the aurors and deal with the problem."

"We?" Severus asked.

"Draco and Ron are considering it," she admitted. She hadn't quite meant to tell him that.

Severus sighed and then rubbed his forehead. "We have spent the last two years trying to keep you and Draco alive. And I'm certain that Molly isn't going to be any happier about this than I am."

"I really feel that I need to do this. And I think it will be safer than you're anticipating. I'm certain the aurors aren't going to send us out on our own, we'll be with a group. We've had really good training and I expect we'll get more from the aurors. And I don't just want to sit here and wait while the Death Eaters come up with a plan to find me and kill me. I want to be doing something about it."

"First, you joining the aurors will not hasten the process of the Death Eaters being captured. I understand that you want to feel some control over the situation, but there are other ways to do that. Second, you will be placing other people on your team in danger just by being there. Death Eaters who would have been willing to retreat will stay to fight to the death if they see you."

"Disguise," Rachel objected. "I can wear a disguise."

"Do you honestly believe that you joining the aurors would go unremarked by the Daily Prophet? All the Death Eaters have to do is target the person they don't recognize. Also, I think there is a good possibility that Bones and Robards won't let you join because they will recognize that you will place other people in danger," he continued.

Rachel looked down. "You really think they won't let me join?" She hadn't considered that possibility before.

"I don't know. I think they would be foolish to allow either you or Draco to join. You're both the last available person of your bloodline to be able to take your Wizengamot seats and you're both wanted by Death Eaters. Rachel. Do you want to die?"

She looked up abruptly. "What? No. Why would you think that?"

"Because you seem intent on placing yourself in a situation where it is likely that you'll be killed. I know you have said that you've had second thoughts about returning-"

"No. I don't, really. Things aren't perfect. They're pretty far from perfect, but I don't want to die. I came back because it was important to all of the people I care about and because I had a task to do. Those things haven't changed. I know it would hurt you if I died-"

"Hurt me? Rachel, I would be absolutely devastated if you died. When I believed you were dead…"

Rachel watched and waited, not entirely sure what Severus was going to say.

Severus closed his eyes. "It was like my whole world blinked out of existence. My only thoughts became to attempt to take revenge and to die protecting those that I could. My entire life narrowed to just that. You cannot fathom what it is like to lose a child that you love and that you raised. I hope you never experience that."

Rachel sat quietly. She thought she had at least some understanding. If Severus had died, she was pretty sure she'd be entirely non-functional. Still, she could see that the events of that Sunday had hurt him deeply and that he had not recovered from that yet.

"Do you understand why I do not want you to join the aurors?" he asked when he opened his eyes.

"I do. I really do understand. But do you understand why I feel like I need to do it?"

Severus held his gaze on her, his expression unreadable. "I understand that you are afraid and that you wish to take control of the situation by acting. But I do not believe this is the right way to go about it. I also understand that you are an adult and that I cannot direct your life. I just want you to make choices with the full knowledge of what you are getting into and how dangerous this is."

"I think I understand better than most people how dangerous the Death Eaters are. Outside of the MLE and the aurors, I've probably had the most experience with them," she pointed out.

"You've had a great deal of experience with them almost killing you and attempting to abduct you. I would say that is not the same as having experience with fighting the Death Eaters."

"That's kind of the point," Rachel said, reminding herself that she didn't need to be feeling her chest get tight right now. She was fine. "I don't want to be on that side of it any more. I want to be the person who is stopping them. I don't want to be guarded and protected, I want to stand up for myself."

"There is a difference between being able to defend yourself and seeking trouble. I am confident that you can defend yourself should the situation arise," he said. "Are you?"

"Yes." It was more than that, but she didn't know how to put it into words.

"You know my opinion and preference on this, but ultimately the choice of what you do with your life is yours. I cannot stop you."

Rachel could read between the lines though. He couldn't stop her, but he would be disappointed in her. "I suppose the first step is to even find out if the aurors will let me join."

"If you are set on this course of action, then yes, that would be the first step. What about your Mastery?" he asked.

"I'll interview with them and ask if they will be willing to let me defer until the Death Eaters are caught. If they aren't, I suppose I'll have to make a decision which to do."

Severus nodded. "You can make your own decision here as well, but I think Mistress Emlyn Clough will be the best fit for you. Her interests in potions align with yours and she's a very gentle and thoughtful woman. I think you would get along well with her."

"Good to know."

"What do you want for dinner tonight? Have you eaten today?"

"I had lunch," Rachel said as she stood. "I'm open to whatever for dinner. Did you want me to cook?"

"No. I can do it. We have the ingredients for shepherd's pie, or for a stew," he said.

"Either is fine." She went upstairs and sat down on her bed. It seemed like she still had some decisions to make about her future. She wondered if everyone had this problem. Some people at least did. Millie's mom seemed dead set against Millie doing a Charms Mastery. From the sounds of things, Mrs. Weasley wasn't all too pleased about most of her children's career choices. Maybe this was just part of having a parent.