JPOV

ONE YEAR AGO

I would like to think that even after two years of the rest of the Volturi being locked up in a cell that I could relax and let Bella out of my sight. I would like to think she still needs me as she had when I first met her. I would also like to think that even though I know her routine and know exactly down to the minute she will walk back through the front door of our house, I don't worry. These however, just aren't the facts of life. Right now, as Bella is walking her thirty-minute walk down to the cemetery, I am jogging far enough for her not to notice me but close enough I can intervene if something were to happen.

Ever since we got this house, specifically so that we could be close to Edward's grave site, I follow close behind her on her walk with her none the wiser. As she walks to the grave site, I will jog behind her by leaving a few minutes later out the door. Today as she walks to the cemetery, she continues to walk by it, down a little ways into a coffee shop where she goes inside; I am forced to go stop my jog on the corner of the shop and wait for her to come back out. Minutes later she comes back out holding an iced coffee which I automatically know is hers and in the other hand is a hot cup of liquid. I frown as she begins walking back down towards the cemetery, who is she meeting?

Letting some distance come between the two of us, I begin jogging behind her slowly and continue as she enters through the main gate while I continue down to the second one. I jog down two sections and to the right to stand under the large oak tree to take cover. Bella has sat the hot cup of coffee down next to her while she keeps a hold of her own cup. Having the tendency of talking with her hands at times, I can't hold back my couple laughs as I realize how it really does look like she's having a conversation with someone. Suddenly she stops and seems to slump into herself a bit with a nod.

I jump as I realize my phone is ringing in my pocket, so I quickly pull it out to see that Bella is the one calling me. I clear my throat and try to act as casually as possible.

"Hey, darlin, everything alright?" I answer smoothly.

"I'm okay," she answers softly, "I was just wondering if you minded terribly driving to come pick me up? It's starting to rain here," she lies.

I frown but show no suspicion in my voice. "Oh, yeah that's not a problem," I reply as I quickly begin trying to jog back up to the path to try to get home.

I only get halfway to the gate when she clears her throat. "Jasper?"

I stop the jog instantly. "What is it, darlin?"

"You don't have to jog all the home." Very slowly, I turn my body in her direction to see her looking directly at me with an amused smile on her face. I smile back sheepishly. "Come join me?"

"Are you sure?" I ask suddenly unsure as I've never actively intruded on her time with Edward.

"Well, it's not like this coffee is getting any hotter over here," she jokes making me chuckle.

Hanging up the phone, I begin walking over to plot fifteen in section four towards Bella and her sacred time. She looks up at me with a small knowing smile while holding up the second cup of coffee I seen her walk out with. I grab the cup of coffee from her hand as I kneel next to her going in for a kiss before I quickly stop.

"Can I kiss you…?" I ask uncertain how she would feel.

"I'd be offended if you didn't detective," she smiles and leans into me as I readily meet her halfway to place my lips against her own.

We both sigh in contentment. "How long have you known?" I ask as I sit down with my legs spread, pulling her so her back is against my chest.

"It took me two weeks I think to figure it out after you retired?" Bella answers like a question as if she's unsure. "Maybe three weeks," she shrugs.

I damn near sputter at Bella as my eyebrows pull together in a frown. "What? I thought I was being sneaky!" I tell her exasperated. "You mean for eight months now… you just let me follow you and talk to you over the phone while you knew I followed you?" I can't even help the stupid silly smile that plants itself on my face.

"Well… I knew you were worried about me," she shrugs leaning against my chest while taking my left hand in hers to intertwine our fingers. "It helped me too… knowing you weren't far if something were to happen," she looks up at me shyly before looking down at our joined hands. "It's not like you stayed close enough to hear me talking to him in my head."

"I never wanted to intrude on your time with him," I begin to explain, "it settled some of my nerves as well. It's not that I didn't trust you, darlin and I'm sorry if I made you feel as if- "

"You didn't," she denies instantly, making me feel better about what I've been doing. "Honestly you didn't, I wouldn't have said anything but- "

"But what?" I quickly cut her off with a frown.

The words fail to come to her as she sits there in front of me struggling internally. A few minutes pass by before she sighs heavily and takes a drink from her iced coffee instead. I give her the time she needs as I take a drink of my own coffee to realize that it is my normal caramel latte with two shots of espresso. Here I thought I was being sneaky when I was following her. This just goes to show I wasn't as sneaky as I thought.

"Can we go home?" Bella asks suddenly.

"Of course," I tell her and stand up carefully before holding my hand out to help Bella up as well. "Should I jog back for old times' sake?" I joke lightly with a smile in hopes of making her mood lift even the tiniest amount.

It works. "Should I hold your coffee for you, or should I dispose of it, so you don't think I was meeting someone and got stood up?" she raises an eyebrow with a knowing glint in her eye.

"I-I wouldn't think- okay fine I thought it was weird," I stammer and admit. "In my defense you've never gotten two cups of coffee on your way, and I thought I was being the definition of stealthy."

Bella laughs at me good naturedly as she takes my hand in her own and begins leading us to the front gate to leave. "If it makes you feel any better," she begins as we are about ten minutes into our walk back home, "I don't really have anybody aside from you if you couldn't tell by now." I frown and look down at her. "Meaning unless the voice in my head were to suddenly apparate, that is."

As I go to deny that she has more than just me- I have to stop and really think about it to realize she's right. The whole time we had to be in hiding the two of us had been completely isolated aside from her video chats with a psychiatrist that ended after only six months even after I tried to get her to reconsider.

"Bella I'm sorry I didn't realize that you haven't even gotten out to socialize- "

"It's okay," she soothes quickly. "I didn't have many friends before but I also wasn't afraid to go out and about by myself either. I did work at a club and coffee shop so I had plenty of interaction to make me not want to socialize."

We're walking up the driveway to our house as we both finish our coffees while unlocking the front door and disarming the alarm before securing it right back. Taking off our coats, we hang them up on the hooks in the proper spots before I walk towards the kitchen to start making lunch. Bella follows me in, working beside me to do the salad as I begin the chicken.

"So would the voice inside your head… I mean, if it were to magically appear… what would he or she look like…?" I question as we work together. I already know the answer. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

Pausing to look at me, Bella bites her lip before turning around and walking over to the fridge to pull out fresh mushroom to chop up. "There's something I might have left out at the station." I can hear the nervousness in her voice while I can also feel her biting that bottom lip of hers even as I am flipping the chicken in the pan.

"I know, Bella," I tell her gently, turning to grab her wrist in my hand gently to make her face me.

"Know what…?" she frowns, her eyebrows pulling together.

"The voice you imagine is Edward," I tell her simply, no judgment in my voice whatsoever.

"No- I mean yes but no that's not," she sighs. "Yes, it's his voice but not what I mean."

After assuring the chicken is cooked through, I shut off the stove and transfer it to a plate to cool down before turning back to Bella and lifting her up onto the counter, pushing away all the ingredients and standing between her legs, wrapping my arms around her waist securely. Bella leans her forehead against my own, letting her eyes flutter closed momentarily. I kiss the tip of her nose and wait patiently for her to continue when she's ready. Sighing softly, she opens her eyes and sits back biting her lip.

"I've been hearing him since he died," she admits softly, her face turning different shades of red.

"Can you elaborate on that, darlin?" I quirk my eyebrow up in question.

"Uhm… well… you have an inner monologue, right?" I nod in response. "Okay well I do too, except I also have him inside my head as well talking to me. I guess replying. Or maybe telling me what I need to do? At first, I didn't realize it was Edward, I don't think I realized much the first few months… I would have actual full conversations with him," she shakes her head frustrated. "It's why I stopped doing therapy… I let it slip what was happening inside my head and she didn't like it. But I needed him there in whatever way I could keep him."

"What else, darlin?" I prod, kissing her temple and backing away to my previous position.

"As I felt myself getting better he started to disappear, it was like he knew I didn't need him as bad anymore," tears trickle down her cheeks that I carefully swipe away. "Eventually I would only hear him a couple times a week at most until he went away completely… but then they came and he's the reason I was able to do what I did."

"He guided you? Told you what to do?" I confirm, rubbing soothing circles on the small of her back gently.

She nods continuing, "Reminded me I still had you to live for; that I wasn't fighting to live for nothing like last time. I was just going to give up, Jasper," she whispers, her eyes tearing up as she recalls the second most horrendous night. "I was going to give you up, but he- he reminded me."

I smile a gentle smile. "You're not crazy, Isabella," I inform her. "There are some… things that are out of this world that cannot be explained, and I think this is one of those things. I love you no matter what and I know this relationship is a bit unorthodox- "I stop myself and instantly correct, "more than a bit unorthodox, but I love you and will do anything for you. Whatever you need, I'll do it. Just promise me one thing, yeah?"

Bella brings her tear-filled eyes to my own.

"Never shut me out," I tell her my only demand. "I can bare anything except for you shutting me out."

"I promise."

A/N: Closer and closer to present time from the past! Not many more chapters to go and all will be resolved. Until next time folks!

-bellacullen166