(SIGYN)

"Mum, have you ever been to Asgard?" Narvi asked. He'd finished packing a bundle of clothes for himself and helped me load it in a single satchel with a selection for Vali, who went with Loki to tell Grid and Freyr about the morning's plans.

"I grew up in Asgard, love." I rested on the edge of his mattress and patted it for him to sit beside me. "When we're there, so long as it's safe, I'll show you where my parents and I lived. I might even show you some special places, like where I met your father."

"So he lived there, too?"

"Yes. But...I think it's best if he shares that with you and your brother when he feels ready. Don't share it with Vali. We'll tell you both in time." I smiled at him and cleared the small bit of hair from his face, much the same way I used to do for Loki. "How much of it did you see?"

"Not very much." He swatted me away when I lingered at the scratch on his eyebrow, though I couldn't place why seeing it made my stomach twist. "When will we come home?"

I wished I had a real answer. Wished I knew anything about what was to come. "I don't know exactly. But I'm not afraid."

"Why not?"

"Well, when we first came to Vanaheim, Nanny told me there was something special about what I carried inside." I patted my belly. Warmth spread through me that I had to trust. "It's Hela's home now, but back then, I carried you and Vali. She felt you were the seeds of a new Yggdrasil. Now that I know Ragnarok is here, I know what that means."

He raised his brows expectantly.

"It means you'll both see a new beginning. How can I be afraid with such a prophecy?" I laughed to myself nervously, hopeful that saying the words out loud would somehow make them true. But that was what Grid meant, wasn't it? That they were the first generation to know both worlds?

"I won't be able to sleep," he said, shifting to stare at his fidgeting fingers.

"Oh, I have a trick for that, you know." I nodded toward his pillow, encouraging him to snuggle in for the night. Vali would be back soon enough—and if I was lucky, Loki would've gotten him to fall asleep through boredom while talking with Freyr anyway and would carry him in. It was a treat to have private time with my gentler son. "Now, which would you like tonight?" I asked him, lightly stroking his hair. "A Pale Moon? Five Little Birds?"

"The Lonely Shore," he said, closing his eyes and deflating the same way Tiwaz would.

"A marvelous choice." I cleared my throat and found the right key in my throat before singing his favorite lullaby—an old Vanir tune I learned soon after coming here, replaced with words in the language he knew. While Vali appreciated songs that had small dances, Narvi never failed to rest when bathed in my voice.

The lonely shore I walked upon

You saw me standing on my own

The moons and stars gave me a sign

Now here you are, and you are mine

And if the world comes tumbling down

Your precious feet lose solid ground

Reach out for me, our hands entwine

And close your eyes, for you are mine

After repeating it several times through hums and one more run with the words, Narvi drifted to sleep with quiet, deep breaths and peace on his face. He looked more and more like my father each day, with his narrow nose and sweet spatter of freckles like he'd been kissed with auburn rain. I imagined, after he earned his rights as a man and grew his hair out, that it would be a chestnut tinged with red. Like a lion's mane. Powerful, yet tame.

"Goodnight, my love," I whispered, pecking his temple and closing the door. Shortly after, Loki arrived with Vali in his arms as I'd predicted.

I didn't have anyone to sing me to sleep. Loki and I had a restless night, too worried about all the grim possibilities to even discuss what might lie ahead. With our backs together on the bed until first light, we might as well have not tried to sleep at all.

Grid and Freyr came to the house to see us off. Finalized the plans to bring Tiwaz with them if the rest of Vanaheim was called to join us. They helped us strap our sacks to the pack horse and didn't let me lift a thing, certain I was too far along in pregnancy to exert myself.

In a simple act which meant more than I could say, Grid encouraged the boys to bring along something precious to remind them of home while they were away; she said it was to combat homesickness, but I worried it was secretly her plan to make sure a little bit of this world would survive, no matter what. Vali chose a pendant made to look like a wolf's fang—which he'd carved himself from the tree behind our house, to my chagrin—and wore it as a necklace. Narvi tied a small bag of found stones to his waistband; items that meant absolutely nothing to anyone but him.

"Goodbye, Nanny," Vali said, hugging her tightly and doing the same to Freyr after. "We will see you in Asgard, though, won't we?"

"You should," Freyr said with a smirk.

Grid tipped her head while trying to catch Narvi's gaze. "Mind your lessons and be safe, child. That's all I ask." She bowed to him instead of offering her arms for an embrace. "Let our love carry you."

"I will, Nanny. I will." He rushed into her anyway and nearly knocked her over, which made all of us watching chuckle. "I love you, too."

She coughed to catch her breath, and a smile took over her face when she looked at me. Her grin had a knowing gleam behind it, like she knew something I didn't. No fear, no trace of trepidation. Vanir always had something else up their sleeves.

"Gin, it's time," Loki said, barely able to stand still when he came back from checking the horse for the tenth time. "Freyr, you'll keep a conduction line open for me, won't you?"

"Of course. Don't hesitate to bring me in if Odin has anything to say beyond gratitude." Freyr quickly patted Loki on the back and kissed me on the cheek to bid us goodbye.

I had no words for either of them. I couldn't spit anything out. Just when I'd finally accepted Vanaheim as my true home, I watched it fade behind me and wondered if I'd ever lay eyes on it again. We were moving backward and facing the future at once. If only I'd paid more attention to Grid's superstitions about those moons, I might've seen all of this coming.

Loki took us south, clearing the line of trees before the valley. We went on foot except for the pack horse, which annoyed Vali, who had become a decent rider and hoped to show off his skills. But even he struggled to find his usual explosion of words while we walked. His injuries might not have been contagious, but his emotions certainly were; Narvi mumbled in agreement to Vali's every sentiment.

"It's here," Loki said, keeping us paused behind him as he examined something in the grass ahead.

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

"Bifrost site. See the burns?" He pointed at the edge of a charred circle which etched knotting symbols into the ground. "This must be where Heimdall landed yesterday. We'll call him from here." He unstrapped our bags from the horse and piled our things in front of us, then patted the animal to walk back to the fortress alone—a beast with a trustworthy Vanir heart.

"What's the Bifrost, Father?" Vali asked as Narvi nodded with his own curiosity.

"It's a machine. Opens portals to and from anywhere in Yggdrasil and back to Asgard. Heimdall alone controls its power and protects the golden city with it." Loki knelt to look the boys in the eye. "When I ask Heimdall to bring us in, hold hands tight and don't let go until we've landed."

My heart rushed. Is this safe for me?

Narvi said, "Aye," and preemptively took Vali's hand.

Loki glanced my way before he turned around and spoke to the sky. "Heimdall, we are ready to answer your call."

There wasn't any time to ask Loki if I should travel this way before the world around us crashed with light and a terrible roar. Even with my eyes shut, a flashing prism spun around me with colors I'd never seen before and couldn't imagine. My feet left the ground and I floated and flew, upward and sideways with quick jerks that made my heart hurt in my chest. Please end soon. Please end soon. My hands clenched tight around nothing and my shoulders were equally tense and rigid, threatening to cramp painfully. Come on, please be over!

The gravity of the end was like a punch to the pit of my stomach even though I landed on my feet, gasping to catch my breath. The boys stumbled a bit, but landed next to me with wide eyes and wonder on their bright faces. Loki alone appeared nonplussed by the ordeal and immediately stood straight to present himself, even though a bead of sweat trailed down his brow. Whether he was anxious for the trip, or Heimdall, or Thor, or Odin...what did it matter? None of my trivial worries could compete with the hurricane of uncertainties in his head, surely.

Once I'd let my pulse settle, I appreciated the Bifrost's unknowable complexity. Huge cogs and wheels slowed to a halt all around us. I felt dwarfed by its power. Vali and Narvi couldn't tell where to look and their attention shifted in all directions. They never let each other go. It made me yearn to take Loki's hand, but he was preoccupied with throwing our things over his shoulders.

Heimdall, as imposing as ever, stood with his arms crossed above us on a platform that was centered with an impressive golden sword, unlike anything I'd ever seen a soldier carry in my days at the palace. The Bifrost was like the palace in a way, gilded and glowing with internal light, but it felt like the upper floors when I had a low station—forbidden and requiring humility. I fought against an instinct to bow before the gatekeeper and beg for my life and Loki's all over again.

"Thank you, Heimdall," Loki said slowly, keeping his eyes firmly forward without blinking.

"Go to the judgment hall to meet with the Allfather. He and Thor are expecting your arrival. Do not linger in the city." Heimdall didn't so much as flit his eyes in my direction and stayed focused on Loki while we walked around him in a bundled troupe.

"Mum—"

"Shh, Vali," I whispered, ushering him forward to the bridge. The less said within earshot of Heimdall, the better.

"Laufeyson," Heimdall barked, making all of us startle.

Loki craned his neck to see him again. "Yes?"

"I have children of my own. I ask you the same favor you asked of me."

Loki visibly gulped, but the bargain was fair. He silently nodded and led us the rest of the way out.

The sight of the city from the Bifrost was foreign to me, and I hardly recognized anything. The palace seemed so far away, it was exhausting already. The rainbow bridge, while beautiful, was long and had no safety lines along the edge, so I prayed the boys wouldn't be careless and somehow tumble off the side; once the thought crossed my mind, it played in my head over and over again, making my heart pound even faster.

"This is Asgard, my sons," Loki said, sucking in a deep breath through his nose. "The bridge you're standing on now is like a branch of Yggdrasil itself. While we know ways to reach the other realms, the Bifrost unites all the peaceful people of our universe. If it needs to be rebuilt when this is over, it will be up to your generation."

"When what's over, Father?" Narvi asked.

"Ragnarok. The end of all things." Loki didn't bother elaborating, as if his arrival on Asgard was an ending in itself. He plodded forward in his suede boots, which were so unlike the thuds of his old ensemble that I wondered if he missed the power of heavier footsteps.

"Follow along, boys. Stay in the center." I nudged them forward and admired Loki's silhouette against the skyline and the playful rhythm of my sons' steps in tow. He led us like a small army of his own, called to assist in the greatest battle of our lifetime. It was only a fantasy, really; the thought that we could return to our home and resume the glory he'd once had as a prince.

Until we reached the palace gates and the familiar faces inside, it felt good to pretend we would be welcomed with open arms.

The city was different and yet still the same. All the projects Loki commissioned as the king were completed and well-worn by now. The faces had changed. While, to my eyes, Loki was unmistakable, it occurred to me that no one recognized him because we'd been gone for so long. Our Vanir attire set us apart well enough, but with Loki's hair in a long braid down his back and our children unknown, we didn't attract much attention. The boys whispered to one another once the palace was clearly in view ahead, and I presumed we weren't far from wherever they'd seen already. It made me count my blessings and thank Frigga once more that they hadn't stumbled into harm's way by accident.

When Loki walked through the gates of the palace, still lugging our belongings on his shoulders, he managed to hold stiff posture and fought to appear steady despite the weight. Always performing for an invisible audience. Always worried about one wrong move. The boys mimicked his stature and stomped their way up, though the deliberate steps in their miniature forms made me chuckle.

Thick nostalgia washed over me when I crossed the threshold and walked through the main passage to the stairway. It smelled like the same faraway warm meals of this time of day, salty and rich. Looked like the same infinitely clean and polished monument to Odin's power. The building itself still weighed in the atmosphere above me as if it could crush us all with a quick collapse. Servantry workers buzzed about and ignored us. Where we met the staircase was higher than the entrance I used to climb up years ago, so approaching it from this angle only enhanced the sense I already had that we had somehow landed in the wrong place. This isn't Asgard. It's a grand projection...just off enough to feel like a dream. I dragged my fingertips against the cool marble walls while we ascended and approached Frigga's chamber door to ground myself.

No...it's real after all. It's me that's changed.

Narvi and Vali broke my trance when they yelled in unison at a young boy passing us in the other direction. "Modi!"

Loki halted and gruffly yelled to them, "Boys, focus," before continuing toward the judgment hall.

The boy, presumably named Modi, sheepishly waved but turned red, as if he had secondhand shame for Loki's admonishment. His short blond curls and blue eyes gave his identity away—if he hadn't been sired by Thor, someone else in Odin's household had. It was undeniable, much the same way Vali was obviously a piece of Loki blended with me.

Before we'd even reached the top of the staircase, a soldier stopped us with a hefty stomp ahead of us. "You are not permitted to see the Allfather at this time."

Loki cleared his throat, obviously biting his tongue. "Heimdall sent us here. We've been summoned."

"Yes, and you are not permitted to greet him as you are. A chamber has been prepared for you. This way." The man directed us to the left, down a hall even I wasn't terribly familiar with.

As much as the people in the streets didn't give us a second glance, this soldier was clearly expecting us. Loki followed him without argument; even he saw the danger in any kind of conflict at this point. I saw his unease in how he struggled to keep our bags lifted on his shoulders. He was strong, but after walking from the Bifrost, everything weighed on him. The stress of the unknown was extra bulk that pulled him toward the floor.

Fortunately, our destination wasn't far, and the soldier opened the doors to a large chamber not too unlike the one I once occupied on the second floor with my own family long ago. It had a balcony that overlooked some of the courtyard, and two separate sleeping rooms were connected at the back. The boys ran to the open air to see the city, giving my heart a fright to think they could fall from this height the same way I worried they'd tumble off the bridge.

"Boys, be careful, please," I begged, startling again when the soldier slammed us in. He hadn't locked the door, but his attitude for us was evident.

Loki put our belongings by the wall and finally took a solid breath. He scanned the room as if trying to determine where he was. Perhaps, like me, he struggled to feel like he knew this place at all.

"Are you alright?" I asked, wary about touching him.

He lightly nodded. "I don't understand why we've been sent here."

I furrowed my brow. "Heimdall said—"

"No, I know why we're in Asgard. Why did the guard stop us from seeing Odin?"

As if his question beckoned the answer from outside, someone pounded on the door, making me jump again.

"Gods, I have to calm down," I muttered, putting my hand over my heart in an attempt to make it slow. It was better to be active than try to stand still and focus on it too much, though, so I shook my head and hurried to answer the door.

This new soldier greeted me beside a young woman who carried a pile of robes. He looked me up and down first, taking me in with a huff. "Odin the Allfather requests your presence in the judgment hall."

I sighed with the familiar request. "Yes, we've been told—"

"These new robes will make you more...appropriate for his audience." He kicked his head while looking at the servant girl beside him, who slightly knelt while handing her pile to me.

"Oh. Thank you." I bowed my head, not sure how they viewed us or where our station would land in the hierarchy of the palace. It was better to treat everyone with respect than to presume we were given a place of honor.

"One more thing," the man said, dragging a large sack by the wall into view. "I was told this belongs to the man of the house." He handed me the rope that kept it closed, not bothering to lift it. "The Allfather expects all in his house to honor their commitments, including this one." Without anything else, he stepped backward to leave, and the girl followed.

I pulled on the sack and instantly knew why he hadn't carried it properly. It was beyond heavy. I couldn't lift it if I tried, so I dragged it across the floor to Loki. "We were sent here to change clothing. Evidently, we aren't appropriate enough to see them upstairs."

Loki rolled his eyes, which echoed how I felt about the request.

"He brought this for you specifically. Said something about honoring commitments?"

"Probably a set of shackles," he grumbled as he felt the weight.

"I'll ready the boys." I snapped to get their attention and decided the smaller of the two bedrooms would suit them. They followed me in like diligent ducks—a small mercy since there wasn't any spare energy left for battling them.

"Let's see what they brought us, shall we?" I laid out the clothes: two large black and white smocks clearly meant for me, two black tunics for Loki, and a pair of tunics for the boys that would force them to match. All of them were lined with gold thread—pretty, but something was distinctly missing to me.

"Aw," Vali whined, holding one up over himself. "Do I have to wear these sleeves?" he said, lamenting the full coverage.

Narvi said nothing, though he smiled ever so slightly with relief.

"I'm afraid so, little wolf. Now you stay in here and change. I'll find a way to customize them for each of you later." I kissed both of them on the top of their heads before leaving with the clothes for Loki and me. "Lo?"

He was no longer in the main room, which left only the second sleep chamber. I creaked open the door and found him standing over the bed with his arms crossed, biting his thumbnail and staring below.

"What is it?" I asked, sidling next to him as fast as possible, but the mystery contents from the soldier spoke more than Loki could. Spread out on the bed was a gesture that could've symbolized many things—a message of belonging, a reminder of what was lost, or even an outright attempt to hurt him. His golden armor was more beautiful than anything Loki had ever shown me with illusion. It was complete and ready to be worn. Even his helmet was present, no longer making a memorial in Frigga's room.

If it wasn't intended to be a message, it was a poor way to welcome us.

Loki trailed his fingers over the black underarmor sheath, which was stitched in familiar places. His hands alone, as he'd once said. "I don't know how to define what I'm feeling right now."

It wasn't lost on me how he'd teased about shackles only to receive what he once described as a golden cage. I lightly stroked his shoulder. "You think he wants you to wear it upstairs?"

"He must. He brought us here for Ragnarok. All the talk of my commitments...the only vow I made beyond the ones I made to you were all for this. For this meager bit of cloth." Loki held up the underarmor, even more sacred than all the pieces of shaped metal. "It's a vow I made to myself, really, to arrive when the time came. My glorious purpose...it was all for this." He closed his eyes and a tear trailed over his cheek—the first I'd seen from him in at least a year.

I wiped it from him and sighed, though I considered all the promises he'd made in the past and the ones he'd made for the life he had now. Was it impossible to combine the two? Or was there room to prove to his younger self that he'd become all that he hoped to be, just in a different way?

Without asking for his input, I retrieved our baggage from the front room and dragged it into the sleep chamber. The heavy pack we'd brought with us was our own preparation for battle; after all, there was no guarantee that Asgard's army would supply us with defensive gear. Inside was the only gesture I could make.

"What are you doing?" he asked weakly.

"I'm going to prove to you, to Thor, and to Odin that you've changed. If they can't believe it by how we've stayed away, maybe they'll recognize it when they meet the king of Vanaheim."