(LOKI)
Rebuilding my reputation was not going to be the quick process I hoped it would be, but things were progressing, slowly but surely. Theoric gave me enough respect to address me in council without disdain, which encouraged others to do the same. Pettiness had no place in a time of war. Thor patted my shoulder any time I suggested some defense strategy that was met with unanimous agreement. Odin stopped pretending I didn't exist and nodded along, too. He and I hadn't spoken privately in my entire time here, but I preferred that, and I presumed he did as well.
Yet acceptance didn't lessen the pressure of what was to come. Surtur was on his way. The realms below us smoldered with his ruin. Asgard's bright blue skies mocked somehow instead of giving me hope for the future. All the Don River water on Vanaheim couldn't help us predict what would come to pass—at least, that was Freyr's excuse for not using it to our advantage.
Against all the faith I had in our success, I craved an evening that felt like home. Sigyn agreed, and we made an effort to transform our borrowed chamber into something more like what we were used to. After supper, the whole family dressed in our brown Vanaheim attire and agreed not to answer the door to any visitors. The boys played quietly in their private room, letting Sigyn and I have the last of the daylight together. With the balcony open, I stood behind my love at the table to brush her hair to re-plait our weekly token of commitment.
"If I close my eyes, I can almost smell the bonfire of home," she whispered, lightly sighing under my touch.
"So can I. I pray that scent will stay in my memory as something pleasant."
"As opposed to...?"
"The city burning." I sectioned the plait absently, falling into routine. "Muspelheim's furnace could swallow Asgard whole for all I know."
"Oh, Loki." Sigyn deflated and covered her belly.
"I know it's frightening. But we can't very well expect to win this fight by pretending it will be simple and easy. This breath before the blow...we must savor it." I finished the plait and tied it with a strip of twine, taking a moment to kiss the smooth patch behind her right ear. "Give me a chance, and I'll savor you with proper worship before this night is over."
She tittered. "You're playing with my emotions." Tipping her head backward, she invited me in for a kiss, even if I was upside down compared to her. "I like it."
I obliged her request and pressed into her, letting my mind wander into silent fantasy, even considering taking her up to the bell tower so we could say we finally lived out a mutual dream.
The boys had a radar for our touch, however, and came out to the front room just as I pulled back. "Augh, come on," Vali griped.
Sigyn and I both chuckled, though we quickly patted ourselves down to appear nonchalant. Nothing to see, of course.
"Mum, will you read with me?" Narvi asked, hanging on the edge of the open doorway. "I found something today and need your help."
"Well, how can I say no to that?" Sigyn stretched her back as she stood. "Will you be joining us, Vali?"
"No." He came over and sat in his mother's chair to sprawl over the tabletop. "Father, I'm bored."
Sigyn rolled her eyes and patted him on the shoulder. "This one's yours, Lo."
Narvi squeaked the door hinge to egg her on faster, only retreating when she reached the threshold. They closed us out in the front room, either to leave us undisturbed or preparing for distractions from Vali.
While Sigyn and I often joked about him requiring more effort than his brother, I wasn't put off by time with Vali at all. He had long since grown out of asking endless questions and developed a keen sense of instinct. Problem-solving. Quickly becoming a fixer instead of a fusser. His intelligence was never used to build himself up over the rest; instead, he was more likely to be one step ahead so he could protect whomever stood behind him. The pride I had for him was only matched by my own arrogance, though I had less doubt he would live up to every far-off expectation.
"Bored, little wolf?" I said, sitting opposite him and unrolling a few maps from earlier in the day. "How can you spend all day outside of this chamber and be bored?"
"I miss magic lessons. Tired of lighting candles." He propped his head on his forearms, which crossed beneath him, flat on the table. "Can you bring the maps to life?"
"To life? As in, make them move?" I shook my head and snuffed at the suggestion. "A ridiculous question."
"Is it?" He met my eyes again and raised a brow, not too unlike how Sigyn did whenever she pushed me into a corner and was about to prove me wrong.
I sensed the same trap now. "Do you know something I don't?"
"Maybe." He didn't blink and tried to stifle laughter this time, slightly burying the lower half of his face. The pink rising over his cheeks wasn't as easy to hide, though. "Maybe I found something today, too."
I squinted. "What sort of something?"
"Something we definitely don't have back home." Vali slowly sank backward from the table and stood, retreating to the balcony door for his rucksack. He returned with it and grunted as he climbed back into place. While lifting the pack, his arms wobbled.
"Vali, really, what do you have?" Giving him room, I took the maps away, not sure what to expect.
"A magic book." He gingerly revealed a volume of black leather, impressively large and obviously one of a kind. It wasn't mass-produced in any way and reminded me of the manuals I'd written myself for Vanir sorcerers.
The chill it came with, though...of no charm I knew.
Once it was fully naked on the table, a distinct draft came over me, as if the binding exhaled. It bore a scent. Something not wholly unfamiliar, but not easily pinpointed. Something crisp, laced with...maybe iron...and a hint of sulphur that I wasn't certain had come from the book at all since it so quickly dissipated.
"Where did this come from?" I asked, though it was a foolish question. Even at first glance, I'd know a piece from Odin's library anywhere. How had it found Vali's hands?
He flitted his eyes away. "It...umm..."
"Vali."
"Modi gave it to me." He shrank a little, but he was still wary of telling me the truth. "I have to return it tomorrow."
I nodded and swiped over the cover, searching for any ridges or embossing that would give me a clue to its contents. Nothing. Only darkness with runes of Thor's talismans scrawled across the front. "And was Modi allowed to have it himself, or must you return it to keep him out of trouble?"
Vali shrugged without looking at me.
"What Narvi found...was it something like this? You both have borrowed treasure?"
"He wanted to share them with us." His meek tone wasn't manufactured, which reinforced the way his blue eyes shook ever so slightly. "I...I can take it back now if you want."
Sigyn took the opportunity to be with Narvi without a thought, and I doubted she would care if the books belonged to Modi, or Odin, or even if the boys were clandestine authors. Who was I to stifle Vali's enthusiasm for such a thing, when it was a rare treat to see him excited for the written word?
I ruffled Vali's hair and tried to ignore how my gut nagged with worry. "No sense in doing that if we only have tonight, hmm?"
He lit up again and hopped from his chair, then dragged it noisily on the marble floor to be at my side. I turned the book right side up so he could see it from my same perspective.
The first page was equally black as the cover, but the low light creeping in from the balcony revealed old language runes with a reddish, ominous glow.
The Damned. It was emphasized in an unnatural way. My twisting belly turned over again.
"What's it say?" Vali asked, pointing at the barely-there word. "Modi said he knows it, but Narvi and I don't."
"It's an old language, little wolf. Older than me...older than the Allfather, King of Asgard, even now. If Modi says he knows it, I'd believe him, but you'll learn it in time. Do not rush." I cleared my throat when he didn't move his hand and looked at me expectantly. "It, um, says cursed, in a way."
"Oh." He narrowed his eyes, trying to recognize our common tongue in the figures, but I didn't dare give him the literal translation when he was already at risk for repeating my errant curse words. I didn't need to give him any more.
"Let's see what else is here, shall we?" I eagerly moved one, grateful the heavy volume's pages were unnaturally thick and would make for a short read. It had been years since the boys needed a complete story to fall asleep, but I still dreaded nights when they would choose well-known tales that couldn't be shortened without being obvious.
The next open page had no words, but the enchantment within was far more captivating. It bore a temperature—the edges made my fingers dry and the parchment crackled. Fractal patterns of frost made their way toward the center, forcing me to keep going or I might've given my nature away by touch alone.
Vali chuckled and rubbed his arms, pretending to shiver. "Magic, see?"
"Yes, it's quite impressive..." I trailed off when the next section revealed the book's real subject: Thor, youthful, but unmistakable. He was almost a caricature of himself, exaggerated and too out of proportion to be real. His red cape swam in the air behind him like a sidekick with its own personality. He ran from one side of the open page to the next, Mjolnir held high above him. Runes in the corner shined in silver, To Battle.
They forgot to show you tripping, I thought, rolling my eyes. "You know who that is, yes?"
"Modi's father," Vali said quietly. "Thor. God of Thunder."
Looking at my son, I felt guilty for not hearing him say Thor was his uncle. It was true, wasn't it? After all, did I not still call him Brother when in common company? Here, Thor was loved and well-revered, but to my children, he was nothing but a stranger who towered above us all. Now he knew Thor's title. Vali's fear of him was evident, though I wondered if it was partly borne of things Modi had said—did Thor rule Modi with an iron fist and earn a reputation for harsh discipline, or did he raise his son the way I did mine, with respect and gentle guidance when needed?
"Keep going," Vali said, either uncomfortable with my staring or anxious to show me something else.
"Right." The next page flopped harshly. It weighed more. Slammed open on the table. Like the front of the book and the first page, only darkness at first, and no words. But the eyes.
The glowing red eyes in the center were all too familiar and filled me with dread.
Oh, no. Please, not that.
I turned the page in panic. Too fast and without thinking. Vali stood on his chair to see the scene better and cooed with awe over so much movement.
"Wow...Father, how does it do that?"
Tall people were running. No, not people. Expanses of hundreds ran toward the center of the binding, where a standout depiction of Thor rose in slow motion with Mjolnir at the ready. The draft the book brought with it came back in full force, along with the scent of such a forgotten place.
Of course, I knew it. I'd been there. I'd seen it. But it wasn't real—not like this, anyway, because he was alone. And Thor didn't go to Jotunheim alone that day. I stood with him.
Vali clapped and stammered, "Oh, oh! This has to be it! Time to do it. Um, kill the monsters!"
"What?" I was in a trance. Half-present. I squinted at Vali and could hardly move. "What are you—"
"Ugh, what are they called again?" He growled and yelled at the book instead of answering me. "Take them down! No...come on, stupid book. Kill them all. Destroy the Frost Giants!"
His incantation was specific and painful. Thor's figure threw Mjolnir to the ground, and a flash of white blasted the creatures backward to the edges of the page, restarting the animation.
Vali cheered with an innocent chime of a laugh. The sweet bell of a child's voice; so naïve, innocent, and ignorant. He had no reason to keep it a secret or challenge the truth behind what he'd seen. No reason to be anything but captivated, and no reason not to share it with me since he was certain that I'd love it, too.
Well, there was one reason. One painful truth.
Time's up.