Chapter 56

The coffee in the cup Regina held in her hands had long since gone cold. She couldn't even remember who had given it to her. She only knew that she had sipped once briefly and then just continued to stare at it. Also, she wasn't bothered anymore by the hard, cold plastic on which she had been sitting for what was now hours. Time had lost its meaning, as had any physical needs she might have felt at some point. Her eyes were fixed on the opposite wall, where more chairs were lined up, but instead of seeing the empty corridor, the scenes of the last hours played over and over again in her mind.

The ominous thump from the guest bathroom and Emma's lack of response when she had called for her had made her immediately drop the vegetable knife and hurry into the foyer. "Emma!" she repeated, pushing the door, which was only ajar, fully open. "Oh, no. No, no, no. Emma!"

Emma lay motionless on the floor, a small laceration on her temple that was oozing much more blood than one would have expected from such a tiny injury.

"Emma, wake up," Regina whispered, a thick lump in her throat. Furious, as if it had been its fault, she gave the wheelchair a forceful push so she could reach Emma. Carefully, she reached under her girlfriend's armpits and turned her onto her back before leaning her upper body against her. She had already raised her hand over her forehead and was about to slide her magic over the wound when she thought better of it. It wasn't poofing, but it was still magic and she didn't want to take any chances. So instead, she grabbed a washcloth and pressed it onto the bleeding wound. "Henry!" she called out with all her might, exhaling shakily in relief as she heard his bedroom door open upstairs.

"Yes. What's wrong?"

"Henry, come downstairs and bring your phone!" she called over her shoulder.

"What happened?" the teenager immediately wanted to know in horror as he appeared in the doorway, staring wide-eyed at his two mothers before him.

"Henry, honey. You need to call an ambulance, okay? I'll explain everything later. Tell them Emma fell and has a cut on her head. Can you handle that?"

"I... yes. Of course." It took a moment before Henry was able to pull himself out of his state of shock and dial 911. With the smartphone pressed tightly to his ear, he exited the bathroom.

Regina heard his muffled voice from the living room and gently stroked Emma's cheek. "It's going to be okay, you hear me? Help is on the way." The fact that Emma still hadn't regained consciousness made her incredibly nervous, but she was breathing and that was the main thing at the moment.

"How is she?", Henry wanted to know a moment later when he was back.

"She's still unconscious," his mother replied quietly. "Henry, I want you to stay with your grandparents while I wait for news at the hospital." Firmly, she looked at him over her shoulder.

"But..."

"Please, Henry. Will you do this for me?"

Sighing defeatedly, he slumped his shoulders. "All right. But you let me know if there's any news." He knew better than to negotiate with her in this situation. And while he would have liked to hear directly first-hand how Emma was doing, he could understand Regina. If she was scared, she needed her space. She couldn't be strong for him, too.

"I will," she promised with a warm smile. As the ambulance siren echoed through the street, her head jerked up. "Would you please open the door for them?" Although professional help was finally arriving, for some reason her heart only beat faster.

"Over here, in the bathroom," Regina heard Henry say before he came in with the paramedics.

"Ms. Mills," the two nodded to her and set their bags down.

Regina was extremely reluctant to hand Emma over to their care, but since it was so crowded in the bathroom, she had to leave so they would have enough room.

In the foyer, Henry pulled Regina into a tight hug. "I'm sure there's nothing wrong with her," he tried to reassure her, stroking his mother's stiff back.

"Then why won't she wake up, Henry?" she whispered chokingly as she returned the hug gratefully. Over his shoulder, she watched every move of the two paramedics, who by now had put a bandage around Emma's head. While one put a nasal cannula on her, the other kept feeling her neck for her pulse until the ECG was also applied and the monitor took over the controls. The steady beeping that represented Emma's heartbeat calmed Regina at least a little.

"She hit her head... And she's pretty weak. I'm sure that's not a good combination. I'm sure she'll wake up soon, you'll see," Henry said quietly.

"Um, miss, did you see what happened?" one of the paramedics suddenly turned to Regina.

"I found her like this," she replied shaking her head, but was immediately alarmed again. "Why do you ask? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just always good to know exactly what happened. Then you can better isolate the possible injuries," he explained and then held Emma's arm while his colleague attached a splint to it with the help of a bandage.

Regina continued to watch everything, and it was only thanks to Henry holding her by the upper arms that she didn't storm back into the bathroom. "What are you doing? You're supposed to take care of her head and finally get her to the hospital!"

"And you don't want us to take care of that broken wrist?" His ironic tone, which had replaced the soothing, understanding one, clearly showed that he was getting annoyed with Regina.

Regina swallowed hard and stared at Emma's limp body.

"Mom, come on. Let's sit down, you're pale. And you're shaking." Gently, Henry took her hand and pulled her with him into the living room. "They're gonna make it work."

Completely frozen, Regina let everything happen to her and could only watch helplessly as the paramedics pushed Emma on the gurney outside to the car a few minutes later.

"Ms. Mills?"

Regina's head snapped up as she was jolted out of her thoughts.

A nurse in turquoise scrubs, that assigned her to the ER, stood in front of her with a friendly smile. "Ms. Swan is on the ward now, and the tests are done. If you register upstairs, I'm sure you'll be allowed to see her."

Stunned, Regina nodded and stared at the coffee mug in her hands, unsure what to do with it.

"You can give that to me," the nurse said, who seemed to notice her struggle.

"Thank you," Regina said, referring both to the little information she had given her and to the fact that she had relieved her of the mug. As if by remote control, she walked to the elevators and rode them to the ward the nurse had written on a piece of paper for her. She had no idea how she had even managed to steer her car all the way to the hospital and drop Henry off at Snow and David's in between, because at the moment she barely knew how to put one foot in front of the other.

When the elevator doors finally opened, Regina couldn't help but notice the Easter decorations in which the entire ward that opened before her was already dressed. An ironic laugh rose in her throat, but she just managed to hold it back before a sound left her lips.

"You're here to see Emma, I guess?" the nurse on duty asked Regina as she stepped up to the counter without having voiced her request.

Regina nodded tensely and wrapped her arms around herself. "Can I speak to her doctor?"

"Dr. Heart is off duty today, but she'll talk to you first thing in the morning," she assured her. "She told us over the phone that she doesn't want to talk to Emma until she's recovered a bit anyway."

In the past, Regina would have lashed out at the nurse at that moment, eyes flashing angrily and index finger raised, while insisting that she be put in the picture. But today she was simply relieved that she was allowed to see Emma and that she was apparently already feeling a little better. "Thank you," she whispered again, getting her girlfriend's room number before her legs once again carried her to her destination more automatically than consciously.

Emma's eyes were closed, her complexion suspiciously resembling the white sheets that surrounded her, and her left arm, plastered to just below the elbow, rested on a pillow. A clear IV dribbled into the catheter in her chest and the tube in her nose helped her breathe. At least the thick bandage around her head, provisionally applied by the paramedics, was gone and replaced by a small band-aid.

Quietly, Regina closed the door and kept standing behind it, threatening to collapse. Wrapping her arms tightly around her middle, she slowly approached. She would never get used to this sight, no matter how many times she had seen Emma in a hospital bed by now. The same kind of yellow plastic chair she had already spent half the evening on was against the wall, and as silently as possible she carried it to Emma's bed to be closer to her. She would have liked to wake her up to convince herself with her own eyes that she was no longer unconscious, but she held back the urge, knowing that sleep was the best thing for her at the moment.

The young woman seemed to sense her girlfriend's presence, however, because it didn't take long for Emma to start stirring slightly in her sleep at first, before blinking against the brightness and opening her eyes to look at Regina. "Hey... you're here." Her voice was rough as sandpaper, but her lips still twisted into a smile.

Gently, Regina closed her fingers around Emma's and returned her gaze. "What have you expected?"

Emma shrugged slightly with one shoulder and was forced to close her eyes briefly again. "Have you been waiting long?"

"In here? No. I just got here," she answered honestly. "How are you feeling?" she then wanted to know after a short pause.

"Tired and a headache... otherwise okay."

"What about your arm?" The question couldn't be avoided, because after all the injury was clearly visible.

Emma gave a brief tortured smile and looked down at herself. "Apparently my bones are as rotten as the branches of a withered tree. From the chemo, they say. What do you think of the color? Picked it out especially for you."

Tilting her head, Regina stared at the black bandage wrapped around the cast. "Maybe a little drab."

"Hmm," Emma went on. "I could have gone with green for hope, I'm sure my parents and Zelena would have liked that. But then that seemed a little rash."

"Emma," Regina interrupted her, looking seriously into her eyes.

Waiting, she met her gaze, knowing full well that her reddened eyes had nothing to do with the neon lights in the hospital.

"You've been unconscious for ages. What did the tests show?" she demanded to know, one hand on Emma's bedspread, the other wrapped so tightly around the strap of her purse that her knuckles turned white.

"I don't know. They drew blood, punctured my bone marrow because they were in full flow, made all kinds of scans and patched me up. All I know is that I broke my wrist."

"Didn't you ask?" Regina wanted to know, somewhat indignantly. She couldn't imagine how anyone could voluntarily remain ignorant.

Emma's gaze flickered when she heard her tone and her face closed up. "Sorry about that, but I was more concerned with staying conscious than inquiring about the results of medical tests." The fact that she had wanted to say this with a little more vigor only resulted in her now coughing dryly.

Immediately Regina helped her up a little and handed her the feeding cup of water from her bedside table.

It was pleasant how the cool wetness ran down her throat, but she only managed to stay sitting upright like that for a few moments before she fell back fully into Regina's arm, who let her slide back into her pillows.

"You know I didn't mean it like that," Regina whispered apologetically, letting her face sink into her hand.

Emma eyed her and immediately felt bad for yelling at her. Regina was scared, and she was the last person who could have blamed her. "Of course I know," she said quietly as her cold fingers wrapped tenderly around Regina's forearm. "Come here," she begged, and was glad when Regina complied with her request and she was able to take her in her arms a moment later.

"I was so afraid for you. The way you were lying there..." Regina whispered in a choked voice, pressing her face against Emma's shoulder.

"Now you know how I felt when you collapsed," Emma nodded, stroking her dark strands of hair before her arm fell limply back onto the bedspread. "Please don't be mad at me if I suddenly fall asleep," she then added quietly, taking a deep breath. The extra oxygen was nice, but she still would have traded this hospital bed for her own at home any day.

Regina moved away from her a bit when she realized Emma was exhausted and needed sleep, and tenderly stroked her head before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Don't force yourself to stay awake."

"Go home, Regina," Emma mumbled, unable to bring herself to stay awake much longer anyway. "Get some sleep."

"I've taken Henry to your parents' house. I'm staying here."

"Regina..."

"Don't argue with me. I'm staying here," she repeated. "I want to be here when there's news. And you'll let me know if you're not feeling well, please."

"That's what the nurses are here for," Emma countered, but she just didn't have the energy to start a discussion with her girlfriend, so she ultimately closed her eyes and fell asleep just a moment later.

Shakily, Regina exhaled and after a few minutes went outside the door, where she dialed Snow's number.

"Regina! How is she doing?", Snow's excited voice reached her after the first ring.

"According to circumstances. She's asleep now," Regina said as she leaned against the wall and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. "Her left wrist is broken, we don't know much more yet and we won't know until tomorrow," she continued to report.

"How horrible that she has broken something in addition! Is she in pain?"

Regina clenched her teeth tightly before she could give her an answer. "She didn't say anything, not regarding the arm... Snow? I'm sorry. I should have taken better care of her."

A deep sigh sounded through the phone line. "I'm sure you took as good care of her as you could, Regina. We all know Emma, and I have no doubt that she is not entirely innocent of her situation."

Regina was silent, her lower lip by now chewed bloody as she kept pulling it between her teeth out of a nervous tic. "How's Henry?"

"Better, now that you've put us in the picture. Do you want him to stay here tonight?"

"I'd like to stay at the hospital, if that's all right," Regina nodded to herself. The night nurses probably wouldn't be thrilled, because normally only the relatives of dying patients were allowed to stay overnight, and thankfully Emma wasn't one of them. But she wanted to be near her after she had failed so badly today in keeping her safe from harm.

"That's fine for us. But don't forget to think about yourself, too, Regina. You're no good to Emma if you overextend yourself again."

"I'm fine," she returned sharply.

There was silence on the line for a while. "All right, whatever you say. Take care of yourself and please let us know if there's any news."

"Yes, I will. Give Henry a kiss for me. See you around." Regina stopped waiting for Snow to say goodbye and pressed the button with the red telephone receiver. She then texted Zelena another quick message so she wouldn't worry and would sleep at home with Robin instead of struggling through the snow again. After that, she dropped her smartphone back into her purse, where it came down with a clattering noise. That sound made Regina lift her gaze to the wall clock, realizing she was already two hours late with her pills. Immediately, she caught up on taking them. As far as that was concerned, she couldn't afford to be careless, especially now that she had to be strong for Emma.

Back in her girlfriend's hospital room, Regina built a makeshift bed for the night out of a chair, pillows and the edge of Emma's bed and made herself as comfortable as possible. She only briefly raised her eyes once more when a nurse came to check on Emma. Fortunately, she just nodded at her and let her stay without a discussion. After that, it didn't take long for her to do the same as Emma and fell asleep.

When Regina awoke the next morning with her neck completely stiff, Emma was still asleep. She couldn't remember the last time her girlfriend had slept through the night; a clear indication that she desperately needed the sleep and was just pretending to be fine. Carefully, Regina tidied up her camp and checked the time on her smartphone. 5:34 a.m. As she did so, she noticed the message that Zelena had apparently sent back after she had already fallen asleep.

'Do you want me to come? - Z.'

Touched, Regina smiled briefly and her heart grew light. Even though not everyone could warm up to Zelena, she knew she could always count on her. One word from her would have been enough to make her sister come through the snowstorm in the dark.

Realizing that she would not be able to sleep again, she went into the adjoining bathroom to freshen up a bit, categorically avoiding looking in the mirror. She knew that her reflection would stare back at her like a ghost, and she could do without that. When she was reasonably presentable, she sat down at the window and crossed her forearms on the sill while looking down at the snow-covered parking lot, which was completely quiet and still in darkness two floors below her.

Apparently, she had dozed off again for a while after all, since two hours had passed since she last glanced at the clock, and Emma was looking at her out of relatively alert eyes when she turned to face her.

"Good morning," Emma said quietly, her voice still more a whisper than anything else.

"Good morning." Regina ran her hands over her eyes again to shake off sleep completely and leaned over to kiss her. Her eyes then fell on a bowl of oatmeal sitting on the nightstand. "I didn't even realize they brought breakfast."

"You slept through me getting washed, too," Emma grinned wryly. "Although I have to admit, at my request, we kept it to the bare essentials."

"Feeling better?" Regina took a seat on the edge of Emma's bed and gently placed her hands around Emma's unharmed hand.

Emma looked at her fingers and shrugged. "I don't know. At least I slept in."

"Indeed," Regina smirked. Immediately when there was a knock at the door, however, her expression grew serious again and she turned toward the noise.

Heart entered the room and closed the door right behind her. "Hello Emma, good morning, Regina."

"Good morning. All by yourself today?" Emma wondered, who was used to at least one nurse and another doctor accompanying rounds.

"Official rounds aren't until later. I just wanted to check on you and talk to you beforehand," the oncologist explained. "I can come back later, though, when you're eating right now."

"Oh, no, that's okay. I'm full."

Regina pressed her lips together to leave the few spoonsful missing from the bowl uncommented.

"Alright... Is it okay if Regina is present while we speak, Emma?" she properly inquired of her patient as she pulled up the chair to the bed on which Regina had spent the night.

Emma nodded. "Of course it is." Her fingers immediately closed tighter around Regina's, as if she was afraid she might get lost otherwise, so the brunette just stayed seated on the edge of the bed as well.

"How are you today?", Heart finally began.

Emma slightly screwed up her face. "Always these questions I don't have the answers to. If you asked me about the longest river on earth or something, I'd be more likely to help you out." When she felt Regina's fingers closing tighter around hers, she took a deep breath and sat up further with the help of the electrically adjustable headrest. She was nervous, and that's what often showed as inappropriate remarks and jokes. "Better than yesterday, anyway. My head still hurts, but not as bad. And since I got the cast on my arm, I don't feel any pain related to the fracture. My stomach hurts a little bit, but that's not really news, you always say it's because of the splenomegaly. So... overall, I can't complain."

The doctor flashed her a gentle smile and brushed a dark strand of hair that had come loose from her plaited braid behind her ear. "I'm glad to hear that." She paused, then set the patient record she'd brought with her down on Emma's nightstand before propping her forearms on her knees.

"That's the worried look," Emma muttered, her brows drawing together. "You're not going to tell me that my leg is broken too or something, are you?"

Heart denied that with a quick motion of her head. "No, no broken leg. All you have from the fall are the injuries you already know about: A broken forearm, near the wrist, a small laceration, and a mild concussion."

Emma breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Regina.

The latter did not look at her, however, but had her focus on the doctor in front of her, her brow still furrowed in deep creases. "But?"

"But," Heart continued, who had been aware before that Regina would realize she was coming with bad news, "I've had yesterday's test results since this morning. I'm really sorry, Emma."

"No!" Regina intervened, her index finger raised threateningly, but her eyes tightly closed, as if that would prevent the doctor from continuing. "Don't say you're sorry. You always said you'd do everything in your power to help Emma!"

"And that hasn't changed."

"Regina, please just let her finish," Emma asked quietly, a thick lump in her throat. "How bad is it?"

"The bone marrow biopsy was not clean. We were able to detect an increased number of degenerative cells again, which means the chemo didn't have the desired effect."

"Well...," Emma said slowly. "That's why two more cycles, right?"

"In principle, yes. However, there should be few to no detectable cancer cells at this point, so we have to assume a recurrence." Apologetically, she looked back and forth between the two women. "I can understand that this is a shock, but we have to respond accordingly. Depending on your general condition, I strongly advise you to bring your next cycle forward. Also, it's time to start looking for a suitable stem cell donor."

"But... we were finally going to celebrate Regina's birthday. I... when can I go home?", Emma wanted to know chokingly and only Regina's hand, which by now was like a vice around hers, kept her from bursting into tears.

"My birthday isn't important right now," Regina brought out only monotonously.

"We shouldn't waste time and start the treatment as soon as possible," the doctor calmly explained.

"All right, but surely a few days more or less won't make any difference, will they? I want to go home," Emma repeated, her throat tightening.

Heart was silent for a moment before she sighed. "All right, I can understand you wanting to go home again. How about this: We're going to do another blood transfusion today to at least get your red blood cell count up a little bit. Then it should be easier to breathe again. If all is well, you'll be allowed to go home tomorrow and I'll give you two days."

Emma bit her lip and nodded without looking at her. "Okay." Actually, it wasn't okay with her; two days meant she'd be in the hospital when Regina's birthday party had been scheduled. But what was she supposed to do?

Heart took a deep breath. "There's something else, I'm afraid."

Regina had been just staring in a trance at Heart's lips for a few minutes as she spoke, and even now she showed no emotion. She didn't even blink.

"Since you fell on your head, a routine cranial CT was performed yesterday. Emma, you have metastases to the meninges. Unfortunately, that means chemo won't be enough. You will need radiation in addition."