Chapter 65

When Regina opened her eyes the morning after next, blinking, and stretched out on the couch where she slept to be with Emma, she immediately felt instinctively that something was off. She couldn't tell what it was at first, but just a moment later she was sitting bolt upright on her makeshift bed, staring in horror at Emma's empty bed. "Emma," she said more to herself and stood up. Her silky gray pajamas hugged her slender body as she crossed the living room, stroking through her messy hair. "Emma!" she finally called out, already very close to panic as she reached the foyer. She still had in her mind's eye scenarios that had started similarly and ended in disaster.

"In the kitchen!" Emma's voice replied.

Immediately at least some of Regina's tension fell away and she entered the adjoining room.

"Good morning," Emma greeted her, giving her a broad smile. She was sitting in her wheelchair with only a sweat jacket pulled over her pajamas. In front of her on the table was the filled coffee pot as well as two still empty cups and a plate of chocolate chip cookies. "I love it when your hair is ruffled from sleep."

Perplexed, Regina looked back and forth between Emma and the table before stepping closer to her girlfriend, putting a hand to her cheek and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Good morning." She didn't know how to phrase the question that was burning on her mind, but fortunately she didn't have to, as Emma provided her with a direct answer.

"You were fast asleep, so I didn't want to wake you. And you've done so much for me, this seems ridiculous, but I felt so incredibly good when I woke up and wanted to surprise you with breakfast. Actually, I was thinking about pancakes, but well..." She shrugged and nodded to her casted arm in annoyance. "You prefer to just drink your coffee in the morning anyway."

"It's perfect," Regina countered softly before Emma felt further compelled to explain herself. "Besides, it's never been a good idea for you to use the stove."

In response, Emma grinned and reached out to Regina again to give her another kiss.

"Chocolate chip cookies for breakfast... Henry will be bursting with envy when we tell him," Regina commented as they finally separated again and she took a seat at the table.

"We can leave some for him," Emma decided, reaching for the coffee pot to pour them both some. She only half-filled her own cup so that she could top it up with milk, so that her sensitive stomach could tolerate the caffeinated beverage.

Sighing with pleasure, Regina put her hands around her cup and closed her eyes with relish.

Emma watched her for a moment, glad that she seemed so relaxed and that she had apparently really been able to please her, and then put her cup to her lips. "I don't want to ruin the moment, but how would you like it if we spontaneously invited my parents over for lunch? You don't have to cook, we could order something. It's just..."

"Of course we can do that," Regina nodded, not letting Emma finish the sentence. No one knew how long Emma would feel this good, and she couldn't claim her for herself during that time. David and Snow just as badly needed to see their daughter in better shape once again. "But I wouldn't mind cooking something either."

"Sweet of you, but I think today is the perfect day to order pizza. Henry gets home early from school and, as I said, I don't want you to have any extra work."

"Just as you like." Regina's dark eyes studied Emma's face, which was actually free of wrinkles of strain for once. She looked years younger. "I'm glad you're comfortable today," she said softly, reaching across the table for Emma's hand, which she stroked tenderly.

"Tell me about it," Emma grinned wryly, running her thumb over Regina's fingers as she returned her gaze. "And I'm glad you got to sleep in."

Regina blushed slightly. She had slept much more soundly during the time Emma had been in the hospital, since she hadn't had to constantly expect her girlfriend to need her. Apparently, there was still some of that left, or it was simply due to the fact that Emma had also slept through the previous night.

Emma eyed her and tilted her head. "You're not embarrassed about that now, I hope?"

"It's disconcerting. The bed is rattling and the wheelchair is making noises, too. If it doesn't wake me up, what if you can't get me awake sometime when it's urgent?" Regina asked, her brow furrowed in concern.

"We've had this topic several times, Regina. It's never happened before and it won't," Emma said, for whom that settled the issue.

"Speaking of which," Regina then spoke up, who raised a brow. "How did you get into the kitchen, anyway?"

"Don't ask," Emma waved it off, pursing her lips into a wry grin. "It definitely took what felt like an eternity. Probably so long that my bones healed on the way," she joked.

Regina decided not to probe further and instead grabbed two cookies, one of which she allowed to disappear into her mouth and held the other in front of Emma's face until she, too, opened her mouth with a laugh and let it slip in.

"I hope you don't get in trouble for just being out of the office like that," Emma said to her father as he put his arm around her and slumped down with her against the back of the sofa.

"Don't worry, Hook's got it covered," he immediately reassured her, pressing a fatherly kiss to her temple. "And even if he didn't, I'd never pass up lunch with my family," he smiled.

Emma returned the smile and then had to giggle. "So Hook has settled in, then? After all, at first he was rather less than thrilled at the prospect of being hired for more than just manhunts."

"Definitely. We should probably think about creating a third post. After all, when you come back, I don't know if I could bring myself to send him away, even if he knew the job was temporary, of course," David nodded.

"If I come back," Emma corrected him thoughtfully. Looking up and noticing her father's depressed face, she slowly shook her head and smiled again. "It's okay, forget about it. Hey, Neal. Why don't you come over here and join us?" she called over to her brother, who was sitting on the rug in front of the fireplace playing with his stuffed animals.

At his sister's request, he tucked a brown dog under his arm and came over to the sofa. "Toby," he explained, holding out the dog to Emma.

"Hi, Toby," Emma grinned, patting the stuffed animal on the head. "Is he a good boy? Did you train him well?"

Nodding, Neal climbed into the seat next to Emma and snuggled up to her. "Toby's good doggy."

"Very nice. So he's just as sweet as his master, then," Emma replied, stroking her brother's back.

In response, Neal only snuggled closer to her and wrapped his small hand around Emma's waist so that his arm rested across her belly.

The thought had never occurred to her before, but as the little one pressed himself so tightly against her, showing his affection in this way, she involuntarily wondered what it would have been like to have a child of her own. Of course she had Henry, whom she loved more than anything, but not being able to raise a child together with Regina suddenly felt like an enormous loss. Until now, she had only thought about who and what she would leave behind if she couldn't beat the cancer, but Neal's warm body pressed so lovingly against hers made her think wider and bigger. She would not be able to raise a child with Regina. She wouldn't get to see Henry graduate, meet a girlfriend, and get married. She wouldn't get to grow old with Regina and watch Henry's kids romp around in the backyard behind the house.

"Emma, are you okay?"

For a moment, Emma looked uncomprehendingly at her mother, who was standing right in front of her with her face level with hers. She had been so distracted that she had literally looked right through her. "Yeah, everything's fine. Sorry, I was just... never mind, not that important. Has the food been delivered?"

Snow nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of Emma's head. "Yes, just now. Henry and Regina were just setting the table. Come on, Neal. Let your sister get up and go wash your hands so we can eat," she then urged her son.

Neal complied with the first request, but then remained pressed against his mother instead of going into the bathroom, watching his father slowly help Emma to her feet.

Leaning heavily on him, Emma took a few steps and then settled into her wheelchair. When she saw the look on her brother's face, which didn't seem directly frightened but rather curious, she felt the old familiar knot in her stomach, but she wrestled a grin from herself and waved him over. "Come on, all aboard, we'll be leaving shortly."

Hesitant at first, but finally determined, Neal climbed onto his sister's lap, whereupon she put her good arm around him to keep him from slipping off her thighs. "Coachman, we're clear to go." Emma could only see Snow's smile, but she was sure her father looked the same as he pushed her first to the bathroom to wash their hands and then to the dining room table.

Regina and Henry also grinned in amusement as the very special horse carriage arrived in the kitchen.

"Well, here we are. Time to dismount," Emma whispered in her brother's ear, giving him one quick gentle stroke through his light brown curls.

Reluctantly, Neal took a seat in his own chair, but his pouting was quickly forgotten when he spotted his cheese pizza.

"Bon appetit!" Emma said, biting into her pepperoni pizza with relish. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten fast food. At that moment, anyway, it felt like she had been abstinent for at least a decade. A veritable explosion of flavor occurred in her mouth. She didn't think for a second that she would probably regret every bite during chemo the next day; all that mattered was the moment, and it couldn't have been better.

Regina watched Emma for a while before she started eating herself, just like everyone else. It was a real pleasure to see her girlfriend so happy and how enthusiastic she devoted herself to her pizza.

"Neal is full," the little boy finally declared first, holding his full belly.

"It's okay, you can finish it tonight," David suggested, wiping his son's fingers clean so Neal wouldn't leave his greasy fingerprints on every cabinet and door on his way to the sink.

But what Regina would have eyed warily just a few months ago, she now couldn't care less about. Dirt in the house was the last thing on her mind at the moment. "I'm sated, too. I wonder where that fits in with you," she said with a raised eyebrow, looking back and forth between David and Henry's empty boxes.

"I'm growing, mom. Besides, it stands to reason that you can't fit that much in your stomach at one time. After all, you usually only eat lettuce and some other greens," Henry teased her.

"You better watch out, Henry Daniel Mills! You think you won't be punished because we have witnesses?" Regina asked sternly before smirking in amusement.

Henry grinned and wrapped an arm around his mother. "I'd love to stay, but I told Max weeks ago that we were going to meet for soccer today and then spend the night at a buddy's house." His voice was honestly regretful when he said it. Of course he had been looking forward to seeing his friends, but days when Emma was in such a good mood were rare and just as much as he liked his friends, he would have stayed with her.

"Hey, it's okay," Emma herself intervened then. "You don't have to cancel on my account at all. We had lunch together, didn't we, and that was nice. Now go off and have fun," she smiled honestly and reached out to him so she could give him a quick hug.

Henry complied with the wordless request and hugged her. "Thanks, Ma," he said against her ear so only she could hear.

Emma nodded and gave him a kiss to the cheek. "See you tomorrow, kid. Have fun!"

After Henry also said goodbye to his grandparents and Neal, and Regina had drummed into him that they were not to drink alcohol under any circumstances, he grabbed his backpack and left.

"You only forbade him alcohol. Maybe Max's parents grow weed," Emma teased her girlfriend.

Horrified, Snow looked at her.

Regina, however, just rolled her eyes. "Not everyone is a rebellious teenager like you."

"True, fair enough," Emma admitted, leaning back. She was beginning to feel that she hadn't lain down since the night before, and eating had added to the strain. She had barely eaten two slices of her pizza, but she hadn't expected to manage more. Her stomach was no longer used to so much food.

Regina didn't fail to notice that Emma's shoulders had slumped, or that her breathing was a little more labored than it had been a quarter of an hour earlier.

"I guess we should get going, too," David said at that moment, who had his eyes on his daughter and was smiling gently at her.

Regina furrowed her brow in surprise. Apparently, by now even the Charmings had developed a sense of when it was time to give Emma a rest.

"Yes, David has to go back to the station anyway, and I should take care of the calculations. It won't go away by itself," Snow agreed with her husband and rose. "Do you want me to help you clean up, Regina?"

"No need, thanks. I'll do that later," the brunette waved off.

"Thank you for inviting us, we really enjoyed it," Snow said, hugging Regina tightly.

The latter returned the hug sincerely and nodded at Snow's shoulder. "I'm glad you could come so spontaneously."

David also hugged Regina before both parents said goodbye to their daughter.

"You can always contact us," Snow explained.

Emma nodded and smiled. "I know." She then lowered her eyes to her little brother and pulled him close again. "Be good to Mommy and Daddy, okay?"

"Of course!" Neal stated almost indignantly, causing the adults to laugh. "Bye, Emma."

"Bye, Buddy." She took a deep breath as Regina walked her family to the door, leaving her alone in the suddenly silent kitchen.

After a few minutes, however, Regina was back, gently placing her hands on her shoulders from behind. While making light massaging motions with her fingers, she leaned forward so that her face was next to Emma's. "How do you feel?" she wanted to know in a whisper.

Emma closed her eyes and leaned her head back so that it came to rest against Regina's shoulder. "Very well. But I think a little nap wouldn't be a mistake," she explained quietly, enjoying the massaging movements of Regina's fingers on her shoulders and her soft breath brushing her cheek.

Slowly, the brunette nodded and pushed Emma over to the living room. "Sofa or bed?"

Emma considered for only a moment before deciding "Bed." The chances that she could fall asleep there and thus regenerate were simply better in bed.

Regina then helped her lie down and covered her up. "Do you need your oxygen? Hot water bottle?"

Shaking her head, Emma pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. "I'm fine. I just need to rest a little."

"Okay. Then I'll clear the kitchen in the meantime," Regina decided, giving Emma another soft smile. "I'll be in the other room if you need anything."

Nodding, Emma looked after her before closing her eyes, snuggling into her blanket and falling asleep moments later.

Since cleaning up consisted only of putting the leftover pizza slices in boxes, disposing of the cartons, and putting the drinking glasses in the dishwasher, Regina's work was soon finished. Checking on Emma and finding that she had fallen asleep, she made herself comfortable in her armchair next to the fireplace, pulled her legs under her body, and began reading her book.

Emma slept for several hours, waking only when it was already almost completely dark outside. Her first glance was at the fire, which by now was blazing in the fireplace, painting dancing shadows on the walls of the living room. Only then did she notice that Regina was sitting in the armchair next to it, engrossed in her novel. Not wanting to disturb her, and the sight of her bringing a smile to her lips, she kept silent.

It was Regina who, after a few minutes, looked up on her own to check on Emma, noticing her open eyes. "Hey, you're awake. Are you watching me?" she wanted to know quietly and with a smirk.

Emma shrugged her shoulders. "I couldn't think of anything I'd rather look at," she returned, raising the headboard of her bed to get a better look at her. "Is the book good?"

Regina nodded, closed it, put aside the blanket she'd had on her legs, and stood up. Before she walked over to Emma and settled on the edge of her bed, she turned on the radio, which then played soft music.

"You don't have to stop on my account," Emma said immediately.

Regina, however, shook her head. "There is no book that could be so good that I would sacrifice these precious hours when you are doing well for it," she countered, leaning in and kissing her.

Emma returned the kiss and smiled. "That's really nice to hear. Still, you have a life of your own besides me," she reminded her girlfriend.

"Tomorrow again," Regina nodded and grinned. "Today all my time is yours."

"As if that's not the case every day," Emma snorted, slightly annoyed.

Regina shrugged her shoulders. "You know, I don't always work exclusively while you're in the hospital. And I think tomorrow will be another one of those days. I'll finish my novel," she said dryly.

"Okay. Tell me how you liked it then," Emma nodded and swallowed briefly. She didn't want to think about the chemo and radiation coming up the next day already, but unfortunately it could never quite be avoided coming up.

"I can read to you from it tomorrow if you like," Regina whispered, noticing Emma's change in mood. On the days she endured both treatments, Emma usually just lay in bed afterwards. She didn't sleep the whole time, but most of the time she couldn't even watch TV, because even opening her eyes exceeded her strength. So she had been listening to the radio a lot lately, and Henry had found a podcast documentary series about unusual tourist attractions around the world that she liked.

"Let's see how I'm doing," Emma nodded noncommittally, straightening up a bit to be at eye level with Regina. The flames gave Regina's eyes the color of liquid honey. As 'Time after time' began to play on the radio, Emma nervously bit her lower lip and lowered her gaze.

"What's wrong?" the brunette whispered in a silky soft voice.

"Nothing. It's absurd," she countered.

"Tell me. What are you thinking about?"

Sighing, Emma looked back up at her. "You're so beautiful. I... I would love nothing more than to dance with you right now."

Regina paused for a moment, looking at Emma's features, which seemed even more fragile in the twilight created by the fire. "Then what are we waiting for?" she finally asked, standing up and holding out her arms to Emma.

"Regina... I can't," Emma countered, and her tone was not only one of anger at herself, but also of frustration at apparently having to point this out to Regina as well.

Gently, Regina put her arms around her girlfriend. "This isn't Blackpool, Emma. You can do this, I'm right here," she whispered.

'...if you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time,' it sounded softly from the radio as Emma forced herself to wrap her arms around Regina's neck. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a moment before straightening her knees and letting Regina lead her a few shaky steps away from the bed.

One hand Regina had firmly around Emma's waist while she had placed the other on her shoulder blade, gently rocking back and forth with her in place. It was far from perfect as they both stood in the living room in their sweatpants and baggy sweaters with Emma only able to hold herself upright with her help, but it didn't matter.

Emma sighed and leaned her forehead against Regina's shoulder as her stiff joints adjusted to the rhythm of the song and the movements of Regina's body.

The brunette felt Emma relax a bit as time passed, but at the same time she was getting heavier in her arms and her muscles went limp. Nevertheless, she enjoyed the moment and felt as if it would last forever and at the same time pass much too quickly.

'I've got a suitcase of memories that I almost left behind, time after time.' The song was nearing its end, and as the last notes faded, Emma's knees trembled so much that she could only cling helplessly to Regina's neck as she maneuvered her back to the bed and gently laid her down on it. Her chest rose and fell in rapid breaths, but no sooner had Regina sat down with her and begun tenderly stroking her cheek with her knuckles than she slowly calmed down again and finally gave her a smile. "That was..."

"... Awesome," Regina finished her sentence, clutching Emma's forearm with her free hand as if to reassure herself that she was here and flesh and blood.

"I was going to say incredible. But yours is better," Emma said, leaning her head further into Regina's touch. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She paused and moistened her lips briefly with her tongue. "What else are you up to? Shall we go see if there's a bowling tournament somewhere?" she then asked with a grin.

"Hmm, I thought maybe we could make out a little? With Henry not being around today and all," she grinned hypocritically.

"Aha, so you want to make out, Miss Swan. I didn't know that term was still used these days. But well, let's make out," Regina said in a throaty voice before she leaned over Emma and lavished her neck with kisses, her hands on her shoulders.

A contended sigh escaped Emma as she craned her neck to expose as much of it as possible.

Regina's full lips worked their way up the side of Emma's neck toward her ear and finally to her mouth, leaving a wet, hot trail on her skin as her hands slid down her upper arms and traveled to her breasts, which she finally cupped and began massaging in rhythmic motions.

"Just don't stop," Emma gasped against Regina's mouth, her tongue literally begging for entrance, but Regina held firm for an agonizingly long time before finally parting her lips. Immediately Emma's tongue began a wild dance with her girlfriend's as she explored her mouth and her fingernails dug into Regina's shoulder blade.

Regina, however, didn't seem to mind a bit, but started grinning mischievously when she noticed that goosebumps were crawling all over Emma's skin.

Moaning, Emma arched her back so she was even a little nearer to her. "God, I love you so much, Regina," she brought out after the brunette's lips disappeared from her mouth and went back to her neck instead. A tear rolled out of the corner of her eye, but this time it wasn't tears of sorrow for a long time, but of bliss. Her hand buried itself deep in the hair of the back of Regina's head as she pulled her against her until her hands left her breasts and she slid them under her instead, gripping her fragile body tightly.

Regina's head landed next to Emma's on the pillow and she buried her face in the crook of her neck. "If I believed in a God, I'd be thanking him right now for giving you this day," she whispered, breathing heavily and in a raspy voice.

"Us," Emma corrected, pulling her blanket over Regina as best she could, "for giving us this day."