Author's Note: Many thanks to GraceMonroe for your review! I hope you all liked the last chapter and that it was worth the (super long!) wait!
And, because I am kind and benevolent (well, sort of), this chapter has *also* been edited for sexual content.
As with the previous chapter, an uncensored version is available over on Ao3.
Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-One: Girl Talk and Ghoul Talk
Mairead awoke the next morning enveloped in a cocoon of bliss. She took a deep breath, breathing in the feeling of peace and safety and contentment. She wondered if she didn't move if some ancient and forgotten magic would allow them to stay like this, wrapped around one another, for all eternity. She couldn't recall a time when she had felt so happy.
Remus must have known she was awake, because she felt his hand glide down her back softly. Mairead took a moment to nuzzle her face into his chest before opening her eyes to look up at him.
He smiled at her, still looking sleepy. "Good morning," he said.
Mairead's cheeks caught fire as if he had just uttered something salacious. Hiding her face in his chest once more, she mumbled, "Good morning."
He chuckled and tightened his arms around her. She sighed dreamily when she felt him drop a kiss onto her hair. "So shy," she heard him murmur fondly.
Mustering up her courage, she cracked open one eye and regarded him meekly. "Hi," she said in a tiny voice.
His eyes crinkled. "Hi."
Sunlight was streaming merrily through the window above Remus's bookcase, and Mairead was temporarily mesmerized by the way Remus looked in the morning light. His light brown hair caught the light in a way Mairead found breathtakingly attractive. She had noticed that Remus's hair had a bit more grey in it than it had had at Hogwarts, but the flecks of grey complimented his eyes in a way that Mairead felt only added to his already handsome face. Her eyes drank in his pale skin, his high cheekbones, his jawline that gracefully met his throat, his mouth, still smiling softly at her... It wasn't until her gaze returned, drawn inevitably like a moth to a flame, to his gorgeous eyes that she noticed the emotions swirling among the light and dark greys.
Mairead could see happiness and comfort, but she could also see wariness, concern, and more than a touch of guilt.
He must be feeling so conflicted right now, she thought sympathetically.
"How are you?" he asked in a serious tone.
Mairead felt an enormous, goofy grin tugging at her mouth and fought to keep it from showing. "Fine, and you?" she said.
"Were you able to sleep?" Remus continued, ignoring her question.
Mairead nodded. "I slept really well," she said shyly, ducking her head. Looking up at him through her lashes, she asked, "Did you sleep okay?"
She watched as the worry melted out of Remus's eyes. He smiled. "I slept very well, thanks," he said, reaching up to brush her hair out of her face.
Mairead squirmed self-consciously, struggling to contain her delight at all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours.
Remus ran his fingers through her hair, gaze soft as he watched his fingers comb through her curls, letting individual strands softly rain back down onto her shoulders and his chest. Presently his fingers made their way to her face. He traced her face thoughtfully with the very tips of his fingers, running his fingers over her eyebrows, following her jawline, tracing her lips.
A smile tugged at his mouth. "I can't get enough of your freckles," he admitted, running his thumb over the bridge of her nose.
Mairead groaned. "D'you want them?" she asked sarcastically. "You're welcome to them."
He chuckled. "No, thank you," he said. She could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm quite happy with them just where they are."
Mairead could feel her cheeks heating up at the compliment. Remus's hand ran over her shoulder, brushing the duvet away and baring her skin to his gaze.
Mairead swallowed thickly. It wasn't that she had forgotten she was naked under the covers; it was that this fact had somehow seemed less of a problem last night. She bit her lip nervously as Remus skated his fingers down her back, making her shiver.
"You've got freckles on your shoulders, too!" Remus exclaimed softly, his face lighting up in delight as though he had just discovered a trove of lost treasure. He ran his hand eagerly over the blemishes on Mairead's skin.
Mairead wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, yeah, they're everywhere," she said distastefully.
Remus's eyes took on a look Mairead had never seen in them before. He looked intrigued, slightly hungry, and definitely mischievous. "They are, are they?" His voice was a low, suggestive growl that sent lightning bolts straight to Mairead's core. "Let's just see about that, shall we?"
He shifted then, nudging Mairead onto her back and rolling until he was partially lying on top of her.
Mairead could barely breathe. "Well, not everywhere, everywhere," she amended.
Remus cocked an eyebrow. "You mean to say you don't know?" he asked, mock sternly.
Mairead giggled breathlessly, stomach tied in knots at his teasing.
"That won't do at all," Remus said briskly. "I'm afraid I must insist that we make a detailed inventory of every freckle on your body... Here, I'll start."
He leaned forward and kissed her nose. "One." He moved his lips infinitesimally. "Two." Again. "Three."
Mairead giggled helplessly as Remus held her by the waist, pinning her to the bed and dropping dozens of kisses on her nose, cheeks, eyelids, and forehead before his lips moved to her shoulders.
Remus hummed thoughtfully. "You've probably got them on your chest, too..." He grinned fiendishly and made to pull the covers away from Mairead, who clutched the duvet to her chest in a vice grip and shrieked at his playful antics.
"MOONY! Where the fuck are you?"
Remus and Mairead both froze at the sound of Sirius's voice, right outside the door. Remus immediately clamped a hand over Mairead's mouth.
"What is it, Padfoot?" he called, feigning a sleepy voice, like he had just woken up.
"Moony, are you in there?" Sirius called. There was a thumping on the door.
Mairead pulled Remus's hand off her mouth and whispered, "Finite Incantatum." A buzzing Mairead hadn't noticed all night faded away, conspicuous only in its absence.
Remus had already rolled off her and was pulling a pair of pyjama bottoms out of the drawer in his nightstand. Mairead averted her eyes, still too shy to look at him, as he pulled them on and strode over to the door. He cast a very brief look over at Mairead, holding a single finger up to his mouth, before unlocking and opening the door.
"Morning, Padfoot," he said through a yawn.
Mairead heard a pause, then Sirius's voice saying, "Did you lock your door?"
"Mmm, Kreacher was trying to come in," Remus lied smoothly.
"That goddamn pest," said Sirius venomously. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Guess I should've reckoned you'd want a lie-in this morning."
Remus shrugged, leaning against the side of the door casually. "What's not to love about four nights sleeping on the forest floor?" he asked dryly. "I know you wanted to go after that ghoul as a team. Can you give me twenty minutes to shower and dress?"
"'Course. Take all the time you need."
"Thanks. Be down soon."
Remus closed the door and turned to Mairead, who had sat stock still in the bed, hardly daring to breathe while Sirius had been so nearby.
"Duty calls," he said with a regretful shrug. "I'm sorry we didn't have a longer morning together."
Mairead smiled and shook her head. "I've got work today, anyway," she said, hoping she sounded casual and not disappointed.
Remus hesitated, looking uncertain.
"I won't tell Sirius," Mairead said slowly, frowning at the conflicted look on Remus's face.
"No, no, it's not that," he said quickly. "It's just - I feel strange, not... not taking you home. Just leaving you here."
"My home is two floors up," Mairead reminded him. "At the moment, at least."
Remus smiled, but didn't say anything. He thought for a moment, then strode purposefully across the room, leaned over Mairead, and kissed her thoroughly.
Mairead's heart was pounding when Remus pulled away just enough to murmur in a dark voice, "Of course, I'll need you to report back here later tonight. For Freckle Inventory."
Mairead was grateful that it was a busy Saturday at work. Having called out sick the previous day and having been so preoccupied with worry in the days leading up, she feared her job would be on the line if she did not prove her merit. Fortunately, busy days were her specialty. After years of helping out with dozens of children at St. Hedwig's, Mairead excelled at multi-tasking. And her experience helping panicked students and impatient and testy faculty members at Hogwarts had helped her perfect a sunny demeanor no matter how long the queue to the circulation desk.
When the crowds finally subsided and Mairead and Melissa were both able to collapse into chairs, Melissa flashed a wide grin over at Mairead.
"Dream team," she said in a singsong voice, holding out a fist to bump against Mairead's.
Mairead laughed breathlessly, which turned into a heavy sigh of relief.
"Everything all right with you?" Melissa asked casually, bracing a foot against the desk and balancing her chair on its back two legs in a move that reminded Mairead of Sirius. "You've seemed a bit preoccupied lately."
"Oh. Yeah. I'm grand," Mairead said, feeling caught out. "Just... a lot going on. But it's fine, so."
Melissa nodded, scratching the tip of her nose. "Wanta catch a film tonight? Talk about it? We could go see that new Disney movie; I've heard the music's amazing."
Who the fuck is Disney? Mairead wondered.
"Ugh, I wish I could, but I can't," she said regretfully. "I have - a thing."
Melissa waggled her eyebrows. "A thing like a date thing?" she asked teasingly.
Mairead's mouth opened, but she was spared answering by a patron approaching the desk and asking where the loos were. Mairead smiled brightly and gave directions that may have been a touch more detailed than was strictly necessary. When she turned back to Melissa, she could tell by her coworker's sly smile that the subject had not been dropped.
"Is it that bloke who was in here a bunch over the summer?" she asked. "John, was it?"
Mairead felt her cheeks warm and she found a smile tugging irresistibly at her mouth. Melissa's smile turned exuberant.
"Ooh, he's really hot!" she exclaimed. "In, like, a scholarly way. Like genius hot. Is he smart?"
Mairead nodded. "He's so smart!" she gushed. "He's brilliant."
"He treats you well, yeah?" Melissa went on.
Mairead's shoulders came up around her ears and a small squeak came out of her. She nodded, now blushing furiously. "He's the kindest person I've ever met," she whispered bashfully.
Melissa nodded wisely. "Yeah, see, now, that was the vibe I was getting from him. Like, nice guy hot. Not, like, Brad Pitt hot. Hugh Grant hot. Y'know?"
Mairead giggled and nodded, shrinking down in her chair. She had never discussed her attraction to Remus so openly with anyone, not like this.
"And -" Mairead hesitated, then threw caution to the wind. "He is so. Nice. He's so sweet and kind and he's really tolerant and he never gets impatient and he never makes me feel stupid even though he's way smarter than me. And he's just so kind to everybody he meets and he's never mean or rude or makes jokes at anyone's expense. But he's also really funny. Like, in this dry way? Kind of self-deprecating but in an actually funny way, not in a 'please pity me' way? And he just - he listens to me, you know? Not like he's putting up with me but like he really wants to hear what I've got to say, and I just - I wish I knew if he really cared about me and what I have to say or if he's just being nice, because - he's so, so so nice that it makes me wonder..."
She trailed off, aware that she had just gushed about Remus in a way she would be humiliated for anyone from the Order to hear. She glanced over at Melissa and saw that the other woman was struggling not to laugh.
"Girl, you have got it bad!" she exclaimed.
Mairead groaned and scrubbed her hands over her face. "I know. I'm completely pathetic," she moaned. "It's just - he's so mysterious! I can never tell what's going on in his head, but it's like he can read my mind. It's completely unfair."
Melissa hummed thoughtfully. "Sounds like he's really on his guard," she mused. "What have his previous relationships been like?"
"I don't know," Mairead admitted. "He's never talked about them."
"Have you asked?"
"No!" Mairead said, feeling scandalized. "I can't ask him that!"
Melissa crinkled her brow. "Why the hell not?" she countered. "Have you told him about your exes?"
"Well, yes," Mairead said slowly. "But that's different."
"Why is that different?"
Mairead opened her mouth, floundered about, then closed it.
Melissa raised her eyebrows. "It's because of the age difference thing, isn't it?" she guessed shrewdly. "What? You thought I hadn't noticed?" she added at Mairead's shocked expression. "So you like older men. Big deal. Lots of women do. I think it's the maturity thing, personally. I've dated plenty of older blokes. But here's the thing you've got to remember if you haven't dated anyone older than you before: he's not your dad. He's not your boss. He's not in charge just 'coz he's older. You've got every right to ask him about his past. He doesn't have rights that you don't have. And who knows? You could be more experienced than he is. Forty-year-old virgins exist, you know."
"He's not forty," Mairead interjected quickly. "And he's definitely not a virgin."
Melissa waggled her eyebrows at Mairead's slightly windblown expression. "Ohh, you've already shagged him, then?"
Mairead clapped both hands over her mouth and stifled a squeal of surprise at the casual way Melissa had brought up sex with Remus. Melissa grinned mischievously and leaned forward, causing her chair to tip forward onto all four of its feet.
"How was it?"
Mairead felt as though she would burn up just thinking about the night before. "Amazing," she finally whispered, sinking still further down in her chair.
Melissa folded her arms behind her head with satisfaction and leaned back in her seat once more.
"See now, that is the real benefit to dating an older man. They really know their way around a pussy."
Mairead slipped out of her chair and crashed to the floor.
Sirius narrowed his eyes and regarded his friend over his teacup. Remus was acting funny. Moony had suggested a cup of tea before people began arriving for the weekly Order meeting and now they sat, across the table from one another, Remus smiling vaguely every so often, completely in his own world.
It had taken the two of them the better part of the day to get rid of the ghoul. With two accomplished, fully capable wizards, it should have taken no more than a couple of hours. But here they sat, sporting several scratches and many blossoming bruises, clothing torn in places, having spent six hours toiling over the pesky creature. Granted, that ghoul had the home court advantage, having most likely (so they speculated) been in residence for nearly a decade. But still, Remus was one of the best when it came to Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was one of the only subjects at which he had bested both Sirius and James in school (along with History of Magic, as the latter two boys had preferred to spend their class time plotting pranks rather than listening to Professor Binns drone on and on). With Remus by his side, Sirius had thought they would make very short work of the ghoul and would have spent the majority of the day lounging by the fireplace listening to the receivers and snacking on cauldron cakes.
But Remus was acting funny.
Sirius flipped through the options in his head as he sipped at his tea. Remus could have simply been tired from his mission. It did sound like it was full of peril and risk. Personally, Sirius had always felt that, the higher the peril and the greater the risk, the more invigorating the mission, but he had also developed the maturity in the intervening fourteen years to understand that not everyone was of the same opinion.
Remus could also have been shaken by how close he came to dying. It did not escape Sirius that Remus could very easily have been the one upon whom the pack had turned.
But thinking about these options further, Sirius felt they were both unlikely to be the cause of Remus's peculiar behavior. For one thing, Sirius had seen Remus tired. The poor bloke was absolutely knackered after even the most textbook transformation, and Sirius had been there for some rough ones. And Remus had never been one to cower at the prospect of his own demise. Sirius had stood shoulder to shoulder with Remus during enough tight spots to know that Remus fought like a hero and was able to shake things off relatively smoothly.
No, the mission was not why Remus was acting funny.
Sirius thought back to the previous evening. Remus had been perfectly normal all through the Order meeting and the following dinner, smiling easily, body language relaxed, dry sense of humor readily on display. It was only that day that he had been acting strangely.
Sirius took another drink from his mug and resolved to corner Mairead and ask her if she had noticed anything. Remus was a brick wall when he wanted to be, but Sirius had never seen Mairead's equal for patiently yet doggedly chiseling away at that wall.
She would be so good for you, Moony.
Sirius opened his mouth to ask Remus how things were going with Mairead when the door to the kitchen opened and the first of the Order members began arriving. Remus stood to clear away their tea things before Sirius had a chance to say anything. Mairead arrived while Remus's back was to her.
Sirius cocked an eyebrow. She was looking very nicely put together that evening, and there was not a doubt in his mind whom it was for. She was wearing a pretty green dress that Sirius had never seen her wear before, but which made her red hair pop in an alluring way and which even from across the room Sirius could tell brought out the color of her eyes.
Go get him, Gryffindor.
Sirius eagerly watched Remus for his reaction, and he was not disappointed. It lasted less than a second, but it was priceless. When Moony turned around and spotted Mairead, his jaw went slack and his eyes widened as his eyebrows went up. Sirius smugly watched Remus's eyes take on a hungry look and slide over Mairead's curves - cleverly accentuated by the dress without sacrificing modesty. Sirius looked over at Mairead and suppressed a sigh.
She was absolutely killing it in that dress, but the minute she saw Remus looking, her cheeks turned bright red. She began shifting nervously, and she crossed her arms over her chest, covering up two of (in Sirius's estimation) Remus's favorite things about her. Sirius made a mental note to advise Mairead that if she ever wanted to get into Remus's bed she was going to have to show a little more confidence.
Disappointed as he was by Mairead's underwhelming sexual magnetism, Sirius nevertheless managed to find some amusement in how flustered Remus became when it came time to sit around the table. He couldn't seem to decide which would be more distracting - sitting next to Mairead, or sitting somewhere else where he could look right at her throughout the whole meeting. Sirius decided to stir the cauldron by sitting one seat along from Mairead - leaving a seat empty for Remus, should he so choose. This only added flames to the fires of Remus's discomfort, and made Sirius want to cackle with glee.
Sadly, Moody dropped into the seat between them with a gruff, "Evening, Sirius," before Remus could come to a decision. Remus sat on Sirius's other side, looking massively relieved.
The meeting began, and Sirius drummed his fingers restlessly on the tabletop. Listening to the other members of the Order report on their work - gathering intelligence at the Ministry (Fudge's paranoia that Dumbledore was building an army of underage witches and wizards continued), spying on Voldemort and Death Eaters, carrying out guard duty at the Ministry of Magic - work they carried out while Sirius was stuck at home doing absolutely nothing, agitated him like nothing else. He could barely sleep at night, his skin felt like it was too small for him, and he was filled with a nervous energy that had no outlet. And now that Harry was back at school and nearly everyone had moved out of Grimmauld Place, leaving him with virtually no one except Kreacher for company, the dank and dirty walls seemed to be even more suffocating than they had been.
But then, something penetrated the annoying, droning buzzing that seemed to fill his ears constantly with no escape. Sirius's ears perked up. Mundungus was talking about his shift following Harry in Hogsmeade earlier that day. Sirius pushed himself straighter in his chair, eager for any news of his godson. According to Mundungus, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had met with no fewer than twenty-five other students in the Hog's Head earlier that day. It seemed that they had had enough of Umbridge's style of teaching and had decided to take matters into their own hands.
Sirius could feel pride swelling in his chest as he listened. Forming their own, secret club for learning magic forbidden by their teacher? It was just like something he, James, and Remus would have done.
Sirius looked over and caught Remus's eye. The two shared a glance and Sirius grinned at what he saw. Remus presented himself as sensible and reasonable, and yes, when compared to Sirius and James, he certainly was the cautious one. But whether he liked it or not, admitted it or not, Remus had a devilish streak that came out in circumstances just like these.
Quite simply, you didn't fuck with Remus's pack.
Sirius could tell from just one look that Remus was burning with pride just as he was, albeit a lot more subtly.
Not everyone was as thrilled with news of Harry's subversive plans as he and Remus were, however.
"Absolutely not!" Molly Weasley shouted. She looked round at her husband, eyes flaring dangerously. "We are going to march right up to that school and tell them that under no circumstances are they to -"
"You'll do no such thing, Molly," Moody interjected.
"Try and stop me," Molly hissed threateningly.
"Molly, think about how that will look," Remus spoke up in his quiet, reasonable voice. "If you go to Hogwarts and start scolding Ron, Harry, and Hermione over this, Umbridge will instantly know that something is going on."
"And what's more, she'll know that someone is keeping tabs on them," Sirius added.
"The consequences would be dire," Remus went on. "Not only for the Order but for every single student who attended that meeting, including all of your children who are still at school."
"The consequences if they are caught disobeying Umbridge would be dire!" Molly said shrilly. "This kind of hot-headed, act-first-ask-questions-later behavior is exactly the kind of nonsense I didn't want you filling their heads with all summer, Sirius. They could be expelled for participating in something like this!"
"And they could be killed if they don't participate in something like this," Sirius shot back hotly. Hot-headed? Better hot-headed than dead. "Or have you forgotten why we're all sitting here in this dank hellhouse?"
"Of course I haven't!" Molly snarled. "But just because you've been in the Order longer than I have does not mean that you get to make all the decisions, Sirius. You may have been in the Order longer, but I have been in these children's lives significantly longer than you have. I had been looking out for them for years before you stampeded into their lives, and you've been nothing but a bad influence since then, encouraging recklessness and impulsivity and - and - and rebelliousness against those who have their best interests at heart!"
Sirius started to rise from his chair. He had no idea what he intended to do, but he was sure he'd think of something. Before he could do or say whatever delicious thing he was sure was about to come out of him, however, a tiny voice spoke up.
"I think you may be conflating two separate issues, Mrs. Weasley."
Nearly everyone looked around in surprise. Mairead hardly ever spoke up in meetings, and never unless she was directly addressed. And yet here she was, looking pale and stressed, but determined. She flattened her hands on the table nervously, but straightened her spine and went on.
"Nobody here is questioning whether you have their best interests at heart," she went on quietly but stolidly. "Of course you do. But Umbridge doesn't. That woman is... she's... she's vile, Mrs. Weasley. Beyond vile. She's the kind of person they invent words to describe, because there aren't any words in the English language horrible enough to capture how heartless and... and sadistic she is. She enjoys hurting other people. She takes pleasure in wielding her power to control people who don't have any. She has no soul. People aren't people to her, they're things. They're... marionettes. She'll stop at nothing to torture and torment and, and punish people who don't do as she says, not because she has, like, a fervent, unyielding set of misguided morals but just because she can. She's not just going to wake up one day and have a crisis of morality and conscience and start teaching her students how to defend themselves. She doesn't have a conscience. She's a monster. And she has to be stopped. And if she can't be stopped then she has to be gotten around."
Mairead seemed to become aware then how many words she had just voluntarily spoken in front of an entire group of people. A muscle jumped in her throat.
"Anyway, I agree with Sirius," she finished in almost a whisper, staring down at the tabletop. "I think they're right to find a workaround. I don't think they're being impulsive; I think they're being smart."
A thoughtful silence followed Mairead's speech. Sirius glanced over at Remus to see what he thought but the werewolf only had eyes for his girl. He looked so proud of her he could burst, but more than that he looked like he wanted to pull her into his arms right there in front of the entire Order of the Phoenix and protect her from the world, consequences be damned.
Molly looked torn. She looked over at Arthur helplessly. "I didn't mean to imply that it was wrong to go against Umbridge," she said. "Of course that's not what I meant! But - but someone that powerful and horrid is certainly not the kind of person that we want to encourage the children to cross, now, is it? Think about what could happen! They could be expelled! Ron would most certainly have his prefect badge stripped. His future would be ruined if they're caught!"
"Then I suggest we help them find a way not to get caught," Remus said firmly, but not unkindly.
Sirius grinned over at his friend. "I think we can help them with that, don't you, Moony?"
It was late at night before Mairead ventured out of her bedroom, crept down the stairs, and knocked on Remus's door. Many members of the Order were staying in the house overnight, including Arthur and Molly, Bill, Fleur, Moody, and Sturgis. Mairead had tried leaving her room twice, but had turned back at the sounds of laughter, chatter, or the clinking of wine glasses. It was half past midnight when the house finally fell silent.
The door opened at her soft knock and Remus stood there, looking so attractive it took her breath away.
Remus smiled at her, eyes crinkling with happiness at the sight of her. "Come in," he murmured quietly, standing back and opening the door wider.
Mairead shrugged her shoulders up by her ears and sidled into the room.
Remus closed the door and Mairead pulled her lip into her mouth, her stomach doing funny things as she watched his fingers turn the lock. Remus silenced the room, then turned to her.
"I have something I've been meaning to show you," he said, gesturing with his arm and walking towards the bookcase at the foot of his bed. He knelt down by the bookcase and began scanning the titles, head tilted to one side. "Here," he said when he had found what he was looking for. He pushed himself backwards to make room for her at his side.
Mairead carefully tucked her skirt around her and joined him on the floor as he pulled a slim book off the bottom shelf.
"I went to visit my parents' house recently," said Remus. "While I was there I went into my old bedroom and I found this on one of the bookcases."
Remus handed the book to Mairead.
"Oh!" she said softly in surprise at the sight of the familiar cover. "Where the Wild Things Are!"
Remus nodded, smiling. "Look," he said, delicately opening the cover. Mairead held the book while Remus turned the pages until he found the spread he was searching for. It showed a young boy, dressed in a white, fuzzy costume with pointy ears. The boy was smiling and waving, sailing away on a boat while a group of enormous, furry creatures stomped on the shore. Mairead's eyes scanned the text.
But the wild things cried, "Oh, please don't go - we'll eat you up - we love you so!"
Mairead stared at the page, overcome by the knowledge that Remus had shared a part of himself - of his childhood - with her. She blinked rapidly and looked up at him to find him watching her, a warm but still enigmatic look in his eyes. "Was this yours?" she asked. "When you were a child, I mean?"
"Yes," he said. "Here." He flipped the pages back to the very beginning. Mairead looked at the title page. Beneath the printed text, she saw in large, meticulously painstaking but still shaky handwriting, the words, This Buk belongs too Remus Lupin.
Mairead's mouth fell open and her chest squeezed as her heart found yet another way in which to adore the man sitting next to her. "Ohh," was all she was able to say.
"I'm happy to say that my spelling has improved somewhat," said Remus wryly.
Mairead laughed, smiling joyfully at him. Remus looked a little self-conscious, but it quickly faded at the look of delight on her face, and the two were soon smiling giddily at one another.
"I thought you might like to see it," Remus said softly.
"I love it," Mairead insisted. "Thank you for showing it to me."
Remus smiled crookedly at her. Almost too quickly to notice, his eyes flicked to her lips. Mairead compulsively pulled her lips into her mouth and moistened them. Remus watched, his eyes growing dark. Mairead could feel excitement blossoming in her stomach. She held his gaze, held her breath.
Slowly, giving her plenty of time to back out, Remus leaned towards her. His head tilted to one side. Mairead tipped her head to the other. Remus stared openly at her lips now. Mairead parted them, her breath quickening. Remus tore his eyes away from her mouth and looked up at her. The fire in his eyes went straight to her center.
Then, his lips brushed hers. Mairead whimpered and opened her mouth for him. Remus breathed out a long, slow sigh and took what she was offering. Mairead felt Remus softly close the book and lift it out of her hands. He blindly reached behind him, feeling around for the bookcase and setting the picturebook haphazardly on top.
Both of their hands now free, they reached for whatever parts of the other's body they could touch. Mairead twined one arm around Remus's neck, burying her fingers in his soft, brown hair. She rested the other against his chest, just below his throat. Remus reached for her face, cupping it carefully, like she was something precious he didn't want to break. He wrapped his other arm around her waist and bunched the fabric of her dress in his fingers.
Remus twisted his body to face her more fully, pressing Mairead's back against the foot of his bed. Mairead moaned helplessly as Remus used his fingertips to tip her head back and began to trail open-mouthed kisses down the arch of her throat.
"You look absolutely enchanting today," Remus breathed against her skin. "I thought you were going to be the death of me when you walked into the meeting this evening."
Mairead made a sound that was partially a laugh and partially a moan. "No, it's just this dress," she said. "It's nicer than my usual stuff."
Remus stopped what he was doing and laughed. He let his forehead rest against her shoulder and let out what sounded like a frustrated growl. Mairead was confused, but at the same time she had never experienced anything quite so sexy as Remus Lupin growling, his chest rumbling beneath her hand.
"Accept. The compliment. Please."
"Oh!" Mairead laughed in surprise. "Sorry! Err, thank you. That's nice of you to say."
Mairead felt Remus smile against the base of her neck. His hand slid to one of her breasts. His voice was low and seductive when he teased, "Now, was that so difficult?"
Mairead could do nothing but pant. She was so aroused she didn't know what to do with herself.
Perhaps sensing her desperation and worrying that he had pushed her too far too quickly, Remus returned his mouth to hers, kissing her slowly and sweetly. Both of his hands went to her waist, and he gently, carefully began lifting her until her bottom was just balanced on the very edge of the bed. Remus followed with his own body, pressing her back into the mattress, leaning over her.
"Is this okay?" he whispered to her. Mairead nodded frantically, starving for more. Remus's hands went to the hem of her dress. "You're not too sore from last night?"
Mairead cried out softly and shook her head.
She pressed her lips hard against Remus's. She felt his fingers skim up the outsides of her legs, pushing her dress up as he went. When her skirt was bunched at her hips, Remus pulled away. Mairead pushed herself onto her elbows and watched Remus kneel on the floor. A choked gasp tore out of her throat as Remus kissed her left hipbone. His hands pushed her dress further up and Mairead arched as his lips brushed her belly, leaving dozens of kisses on her ribs, stomach, and along the top of her knickers.
His fingers curled around the waistband. "May I take these off?" he asked, looking up at her for permission.
"Mmm-hmph," was all Mairead could manage.
Remus pulled at the fabric and Mairead started to lift her hips up, but he suddenly released her with an alarmed, "Oh!"
Mairead's hips fell back onto the bed. Why had he stopped?
Remus reached for his belt. Mairead's eyes widened hungrily, but he was not undressing; he was reaching for his wand. Remus touched the tip of his wand to her lower belly just as he had done the previous night, muttered what Mairead recalled was the same incantation from the night before, and watched as her abdomen momentarily glowed a soft yellow.
He looked up at her and smiled sheepishly as he stowed his wand away. "Sorry; almost forgot," he said.
Mairead opened her mouth to ask him what that spell was, but then Remus was slipping her knickers down over her hips and Mairead couldn't remember her own name, let alone what she had wanted to ask him.
Remus set the undergarment beside him on the floor before turning back to her. Mairead saw him staring hungrily at the apex of her thighs.
Overcome by embarrassment, Mairead reached for his arms and tugged him up towards her face. Remus obeyed immediately, providing Mairead some relief from her shyness. Remus kissed her deeply, his tongue caressing her, and slowly he ground his hips into hers.
"Please!" she begged, bending her knees and cradling his hips between her legs. "Remus, please!"
Remus reached down and undid his belt. Mairead panted in anticipation, her whole body tense with need. Remus didn't even bother removing his trousers. He just undid his fly and pushed them down enough to free himself.
"Stop me if it hurts," he said breathlessly, then sank into Mairead in one smooth, slow movement.
Mairead moaned gutturally with relief. It was like she had been asked to hold her breath all day and could finally exhale.
She had never fully been able to understand the giggling and shrieking and excited whispers of the other girls at Hogwarts, in no small part because she had always been excluded from those groups, forced to pick up what knowledge she could by eavesdropping. It was how she had procured the majority of her sex education: listening from inside bathroom stalls to the girls gossiping by the sinks, craning her neck to try to see the love bites the other girls had received, even though she did not understand how they had gotten them. Merlin knew she had learned her lesson about not asking any of the nuns at St. Hedwig's for information. When an older student at St. Hedwig's had finally taken pity on her and explained the finer points she had missed, Mairead had been positive that the girls had been exaggerating. There was simply no way she could imagine the act described by the Seventh Year girl from St. Hedwig's to be as heavenly and awe-inspiring as they claimed. And once she had given herself to Roger - or rather, once Roger had helped himself to her - Mairead had only become more certain that the idea of female sexual pleasure was a myth perpetuated by a patriarchal society to trick women into pleasuring men and propagating the human race.
Now, though...
Mairead groaned raggedly and wrapped her arms around Remus's shoulders. Remus kissed her and Mairead braced her feet on the bed, curling her toes around the bottom edge of the mattress for stability, not wanting to slide right off the foot of the bed.
Clearly sensing her anxiety about their position on the bed, Remus wrapped an arm securely around her waist, tipping her hips at an angle that had her squeezing her eyes shut and crying out. "REMUS! Fuck!"
"Are you all r-" Remus's question was cut off, but it was answered all the same as Mairead came loudly, her orgasm coming out of nowhere. Mairead threw her head back at the pleasure roaring through her.
When she returned to earth, Mairead found she was clinging to Remus. He was holding perfectly still now, though he had moved with her at the perfect pace during her high, guiding her, helping her ride the waves of her pleasure. She buried her face in the crook of Remus's throat, whimpering at the aftershocks.
He slipped his other arm behind her back to join the first, holding her firmly against him in an embrace that was immensely comforting. "It's all right, May," he murmured soothingly. "It's all right. I've got you."
Once Mairead's mind had cleared, she raised her head, blinking groggily. She felt almost drunk. Remus kissed her forehead lightly and pulled away from her. Mairead frowned at him in confusion. "Did you...?" she asked, her voice scratchy from all the noise she'd made.
Remus smiled and shook his head. "Not yet."
"I'm sorry!" Mairead exclaimed, face burning with the double self-consciousness of not only losing control so quickly, but of being so lost in her own pleasure that she hadn't seen to Remus's.
"We have all night," Remus reminded her. "I just thought we could... adjust ourselves, slightly. I may have been a touch overzealous when you came in," he added with a crooked smile, nodding with his head to indicate their awkward position, half-sliding off the end of the bed.
"Oh," Mairead said shakily. "Right. Yeah."
Remus fixed his trousers, then pulled himself fully onto the bed and offered Mairead his hands. Even in her post-orgasmic stupor, Mairead thought she might keel over and die from the pleasure of feeling her hands in Remus's, her hands brushing his lightly calloused palms, his long fingers enveloping hers.
Remus pulled her easily into his arms and kissed her deeply, moaning happily against her lips, knowing, as if by magic, that she needed the reassurance.
Remus's fingers probed along her back. Mairead could feel him frowning. "How does this...?" he broke the kiss and pondered. "Oh."
Mairead felt the tie at the back of her dress get tugged loose.
"Is there a zipper, as well?" he asked. "I don't want to tear it."
"No, it just slips off," Mairead said, smiling a private little smile at his consideration.
Remus raised his eyebrows slightly. "May I?"
Biting her bottom lip, Mairead nodded, looking up at him shyly through her lashes.
Remus pulled the dress off over her head, then deposited the garment on the floor with one hand. The other slid behind her back once more. Mairead gasped.
How the hell did he undo it with one hand?!Mairead thought as Remus looked to her for permission before pulling her loosened bra off her arms and dropping it on the floor on top of her dress. I can hardly undo it with both hands!
Mairead tried not to think about what this said about their imbalance in experience as Remus gently guided her to lie back on his bed.
His lips returned to suckling gently on her throat, pulling whimpers and sighs out of her as his hands explored the rest of her body, grazing up and down her skin, pausing every now and then to squeeze her hip, circle a thumb around her hipbones, trace her ribs.
Mairead found all of this to be entrancing, but her anxiety stubbornly refused to leave her alone. The desire to please Remus battled with her low self-esteem and lack of confidence that she had any knowledge of how to please a man. Remus's hand cupped her breast then, causing her to gasp and arch her back.
This gave her inspiration, as well as pleasure.
Kissing along his clothed shoulder, Mairead wormed her hands in between their bodies and found the top button of his shirt. Fumbling, Mairead managed to get the button undone and slid her hands down to the next one.
Remus chose that moment to pull both of her hands into his own, raining kisses down on her fingertips, palms, and wrists. Mairead loved the attention, but quickly slipped her hands free and went back to his shirt.
Remus took one of her hands again. Slowly, every movement exuding sensuality, he raised her hand to his mouth once more. His eyes burned into hers as he kissed his way down her thumb before pulling the digit into his mouth.
Mairead's mouth went slack.
The man was pure sex.
His dark grey eyes did not let her look away as he scraped his teeth along her finger, swirling his tongue around the tip of her thumb.
Mairead was unabashedly panting by the time he released her finger with a small pop.
He leaned in and kissed her hungrily, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth and biting down just enough so that she could feel it, then immediately soothing the place his teeth had been with his tongue. His hands slid to her arms and encouraged her to wrap her arms around his neck.
Struggling to keep her head on straight, Mairead wriggled her shoulders until she had worked her hands between their torsos again. She loosened another button.
Remus seized her wrists and pulled both of them above her head. Eyeing her in a way Mairead could only describe as wolfish, Remus easily held both of her wrists in one of his hands. With one final, predatory glance at her, Remus drew a hot trail down the side of her neck, pausing to nip at her collarbone before continuing downwards.
Mairead figured out where he was heading a second before he got there.
Mairead cried out as much in surprise as in pleasure. She had never felt anything like it before. She had let both Steven and Roger touch her breasts, but no one had ever put their mouth on her like that. The thought had never even occurred to her that someone might want to.
Mairead could feel herself blushing. At the same time, she felt the hand that was not holding hers captive slip down her body. She shuddered as he drew a single forefinger up and down the crease between her pelvis and her thigh.
And then he was touching her.
Mairead emitted something like a sob. She writhed and fought against the hand restraining her, needing to touch him, to pull him close.
As soon as she began to struggle, Remus released her. He raised his head and checked on her, eyes alert.
"Are you all r-"
"Shut up," Mairead snarled, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and hauling his face up to hers.
Remus laughed into the kiss. "Are you ready for more?" he whispered against her lips.
"Yes," she hissed through clenched teeth, shuddering at the desire throbbing and pulsing through her.
This time, Remus took the time to remove his trousers fully, but he once again left his shirt untouched as he fitted himself into place between her thighs and carefully began to penetrate her again.
"Are you sure this isn't too much?" he asked.
He had been right - she was a little sore from their previous bouts - but there was simply no way Mairead was going to let that stop her. In what Mairead thought was a bold move on her part, she answered by placing her hand firmly on his lower back and pulling him closer, and deeper inside her.
She was rewarded by the sight of his mouth falling open and eyes fluttering closed. His brows contracted and then relaxed in bliss.
"God, May," he breathed. He captured her lips in a needy kiss. "Oh, God."
Mairead wasn't sure just how it could be that she was bringing him this much pleasure, but she decided that she didn't care. Remus braced his forearms on either side of her body, keeping most of his weight off her, but Mairead wanted him closer. She bunched the material of his shirt in her hands, her fingers convulsing into fists.
She breathed his name into his ear. She could feel her release beginning to build again. She gritted her teeth and clutched Remus's arms, determined not to finish and ruin things for him a second time. This was easier said than done, however, as Remus was making her whole body vibrate with pleasure.
Mairead squeezed her eyes shut, face screwed up in the effort it took not to go tumbling over the edge.
"Oh, God, does this hurt?"
All movement stopped. Mairead's eyes flew open. Remus was looking at her, eyes swimming with remorse and regret.
"Sweetheart, why didn't you say something?" he admonished her quietly, lifting one hand to stroke her hair out of her eyes. "I told you to stop me if it hurts."
"It doesn't hurt," she bit out, a tiny whimper escaping her at her desperation to keep going.
Remus frowned. "Then what's the matter?" he asked, tilting her chin to encourage her to look into his eyes.
Mairead could feel her cheeks catch fire at the question. "It... it feels good," she said, unable to meet his eyes. "I'm just... I'm trying not to..."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remus's eyebrows fly up. "Why on earth are you doing that?" he asked.
Mairead's shoulders shifted in embarrassment. "I - I didn't want to... erm... before - er - I mean unless you... erm... I - I already, but, erm, but you..."
If he figures that one out he really can read my mind, she thought bitterly.
She felt her hair rustle as Remus laughed in disbelief. "Is that what you're worried about?" he asked. He chuckled, and it sounded so baldly self-conscious that Mairead couldn't resist stealing a glance at him. "You don't, er -" he laughed nervously again, then finished in a low voice, "You don't have anything to worry about on that front, May."
"But you - but a minute ago, I - I just didn't want for you, erm, for you not to, er..."
Remus smiled crookedly and dropped a kiss onto her lips. "I've been holding back waiting for you," he confided.
Mairead's eyes widened. "Oh," she said simply. "That's awkward."
Remus laughed and pressed his forehead against hers. "Let's do this together then, shall we?" he suggested.
Mairead smiled and nodded. "Okay."
Afterwards, Remus slipped his arms around her and rolled them until he was on his back and Mairead was draped languorously over him.
Mairead rested her head on Remus's chest and smiled to herself at the sound of his heartbeat, still quite quick. Remus's fingers skated, featherlight, up and down Mairead's back, making her arch like a kitten and emit tiny mewls of happiness.
"May I ask you something?" Remus asked quietly, his hands still caressing her back, shoulders, neck, and arms.
"Mmm-hmph," Mairead agreed, the sound muffled as she nuzzled her nose into his shirt, inhaling his scent.
Remus was silent as he formed his question. Then, his hands stilling, he asked, "How do you know Umbridge? What happened?"
Mairead's mouth twitched unhappily. She really didn't want to think about Umbridge while she was basking in the afterglow of the mindblowing sex she had just had with the man of her dreams.
She attempted to wriggle her way out of it. "Can we have a rule where we don't discuss Umbridge naked?"
She tried to smile winningly, but Remus just held out a hand. His closet door swung open and one of his button down shirts came sailing across the room towards the bed. He caught it deftly and offered it to her.
Mairead felt torn. She had no desire to ruin their evening with more talk of one of the most odious women she had ever met, but on the other hand, Remus was offering her his shirt.
His shirt. It was white.
In the end, the tie was broken by the knowledge that she could not deny Remus anything. With an aggravated huff, Mairead sat up and snatched the proffered shirt out of his hands. She turned her back to him modestly as she slipped her arms through the sleeves and did up enough buttons that she was not exposed, but left enough undone that she hoped she might tantalize him out of the conversation.
When she turned back to him, she saw that he had donned a pair of pyjama bottoms.
Probably for the best, she thought. I do not want to associate his naked form with Dolores Umbridge.
Remus held up his arm, inviting her to cuddle close to his side, but Mairead opted to prop herself up on her elbow instead. Remus tucked the arm behind his head, watching her expression closely as she spoke.
"I met Umbridge in my second year of Hogwarts," Mairead began quietly. "When my defensive skills hadn't developed, and everyone had worked out I was a Squib... I don't know how - who exactly told her, but I guess word reached the Ministry about me. Next thing I knew I was being pulled into Professor Sprout's office. Umbridge, she - she tried to get me expelled. Wanted me to surrender my wand. I guess she went to Sprout to try and get around Dumbledore. Obviously that didn't work. When Dumbledore wouldn't cave she went to the Board of Governors..."
Mairead broke off, a shiver going through her. Remus didn't miss it. He pulled the duvet out from underneath their bodies and pulled it around her, eyes never leaving hers as he rubbed her shoulders comfortingly. She offered him a weak smile before continuing. "Malfoy was still on the Board at the time. He ordered records of my grades." Mairead looked away, shamefaced at the next part. "I dunno if you know this, but my grades... they... they weren't the best, for a while." She glanced quickly up at him through her lashes, her stomach in knots, so afraid of disappointing him.
"I remember," he said softly. "You mentioned it over the summer."
"Oh, okay," she breathed. She blinked hard at the memory coming back to her. "Well, Malfoy said that my grades were bad enough that he felt a case could be made that I was a full-blown Squib. He wanted some independent tests run. 'Aptitude tests,' he called them. And Umbridge... she would be in charge of administering the tests. Professor Dumbledore wouldn't allow it. Umbridge said if Dumbledore wouldn't agree to the tests, then she wanted to be present for my lessons. She said I was a Squib who had found a way to cheat my way through. Dumbledore pulled rank. Told her to sod off. But, like, nicely. Dumbledore-y. Anyway when Dumbledore sent her packing she showed up at St. Hedwig's over the winter break. Tried to 'remand me into custody' on Christmas Day. For my own good, of course. Sister Mary Margaret - er, one of the nuns at St. Hedwig's - she Flooed Dumbledore while Sister Mary Agnes - she's the Reverend Mother - talked with Umbridge."
Mairead pulled her knees up to her chest and took a moment to gnaw her thumbnail off. "Dumbledore showed up. Told Umbridge to sod off again. This time he was... less Dumbledore-y. He - he was so - it was like lightning was shooting out of his eyes. He asked to speak with Umbridge alone. I don't know what he said to her, but she left really quickly after that, and I haven't heard from her since... except... except that the letters and Howlers started shortly after that. Like, right after I got back to Hogwarts for Spring Term."
Mairead fell silent, her story finished. She chewed on the inside of her lips, hoping Remus couldn't see that she was shivering. When the silence became unbearable she looked over and saw that Remus's eyes were alight with an emotion she had so seldom seen on his face that it caught her off-guard.
Quite simply, Remus looked pissed.
"Sorry," she said automatically.
"You were twelve?" Remus said, his voice sounding tight and strained. "You were only twelve years old when this all happened?"
Mairead nodded. "Well, technically I was thirteen by the time... y'know, things got wrapped up."
Mairead anxiously took in Remus's appearance. He was taking deep, slow breaths, his mouth a tense, straight line. A muscle was jumping in his jaw. Mairead felt awful.
Please don't cry, please don't cry, please don't cry, she begged herself.
"Are you okay?" she said, barely above a whisper.
Remus blinked and came out of his reverie. "Am I okay?" he asked disbelievingly. He passed a hand over his face.
"You seem really upset," she said, her voice higher than its normal pitch.
"Not at you," Remus rushed to reassure her. "Never at you."
Mairead's mouth twitched uncertainly.
Remus sighed. "Oh, sweetheart," he murmured softly, holding his arms out. "Will you please come here?"
Mairead threw herself into his comforting embrace. She nestled her face into the hollow of his throat, exhaling a deep, shuddering breath at the way his strong arms held her, wishing she could stay there forever, wishing she could somehow have been held by him like this from the day she had met him.
"I'm so sorry, sweet girl," Remus whispered into her hair.
Mairead opened her mouth to tell him it was okay, but found her lips forming 'I love you' instead and had to stop.
"I'll never let her come near you again." Remus's voice was a low growl.
Mairead lifted her head at the fire she could hear burning in his words. "It's okay," she said, trying to comfort him. "It's over. You don't have to do anything."
Mairead could have sworn she saw the amber flecks in his eyes glowing angrily when he repeated, "She'll never come near you again."
Somehow Mairead knew not to argue when his jaw was set like that, so she merely nodded and rested her head on his chest.
They stayed like that in silence for a long time, Remus meditatively stroking Mairead's hair and Mairead listening to Remus's steady heartbeat, feeling her anxiety melt away as her body automatically matched her breathing to his.
When Remus broke the silence, his voice sounded normal again. "I'm sorry for making you relive all of that. I hope you'll forgive me for ruining your evening."
Mairead felt an impish smile tug at her mouth. She tilted her head up and brushed her lips against the underside of his jaw. "Didn't you say something earlier about us having all night?" she breathed in his ear.
Remus tilted his head back and made a sound that was partially a groan and partially a laugh. Wrapping his arms more tightly around her, he rolled them until she was underneath him again.
Reaching for the buttons on her - his - shirt - Remus purred in her ear, "You really are going to be the death of me, aren't you?"
Author's Note: I just wanted to note that, as Mairead said, the book she and Remus were reading from was "Where the Wild Things Are," by Maurice Sendak, and the line Mairead read was taken directly from the text.
Song for this chapter: "Tip Toes," by Jayme Dee (Mairead)
If you'd care to, please let me know what you thought of this chapter!